JayDee

Any problems of confusion definitely lie with the poorly written story rather than the reader, especially when the reader is pretty much an expert at close reading and proofing and the like I mean, 66% of all reviews point out some level of confusion! A brother and a sister help each other find completely non-related people to love? :p Way I hear it, series 8 made half the internet not want to watch the show again. I still haven’t seen any of it sadly. Am glad you enjoyed it tho, thanks! Yeah, he’d wait for her… but he wouldn’t become undead for her. What a beta male cuck! I’m sure his boss will relent eventually. He’s not known for his pride and stubbornness, right? I don’t think you can upset most of the people here. Well, unless you suggest Naruto’s wife might stay faithful to him, or that Dumbledore isn’t utterly evil. But it’s cool, I hope I didn’t upset you too much with it! You can always explain in private message if you did want to unload.

The old lady is a vampire. She’s old and tired in spirit, and doesn’t want to keep living mortal lives where friends/lovers grow old an die around her. She married a mortal guy when she was still in her 20s or so but is now 87 and still looking 18ish, while he grew old and died the year before. Still an old lady if she’s 87 tho’ The angel who shows up later used to be a demon for a while and got to be an angel again thanks to some incident in the past, and probably also years of trying to do the right thing by people. Some demons never really had the heart for it. I was trying to hide the fact that the old lady was a vampire as a bit of a reveal later on, but obviously ballsed it up some and ended up with this confusing mess that would have been swiftly banned from any holiday jam with even the most minimal of quality standards! Still, it filled another weekly prompt challenge so what the heck. Some of my contributions there are even more dire.

Yeah, the angel used to be a demon after falling during that unpleasantness with Lucifer. My flowery description probably didn’t help! Does the plot make any more sense knowing she is a vampire or is it still just a mess? Be honest, I can take negative reviews. I’ve had little choice over the years :D

I’ll read it tomorrow!

Thank you for the review! I appreciate it entirely! That was absolutely what I was going for – introducing her as the old lady she is in spirit, and then revealing a little more until it is obvious she’s a vampire. Given the short word count I totally get how it can be a little rushed and confusing tho. I figure it would have been a bit of an internal conflict for her because while there’s a few things she likes about being a vampire on the whole she’d rather not have had to become one, and wouldn’t want to force it on someone else – and she’d probably have not really pushed it either. Made all the negatives clear, but also that giving him the option to avoid aging, and death from old age. If he knew the angels, knew for certain there was a good chance of avoiding Hell, I figure he decided he’d rather live and then wait for her, however long it took. She wasn’t just deciding “Ah, I can’t live without this man.” it was more, she’d existing for a life, she’d had a good one with someone she loved, and friends, and the rest, and having to keep going through losing people except for maybe a couple other immortals just didn’t appeal at all. So, yeah, he chose to live and then to die. Probably safe to say one of them isn’t that well dressed fellow who made such a splash in California. I have a pretty good idea who one of the other two was (...inky fingers), and a fairly solid idea on the third. Probably depends on how good Jude was at his job. I’m really happy you got that out of it! I definitely tried to go for something that could work for readers who don’t know my characters at all, since I figured there’d be more of ‘em than usual, so going in without names and with some wider/more general tropes like a tired old non-evil vampire, depression at Christmas, and so on. Didn’t quite land, but what the heck! It’s Christmas and it was short! The ol’ happy reununion with deceased loved ones in paradise trope – overly sentimental for centuries! Glad I touched ya tho’ Not like that. Thank you again for the review! I look forward to reading and reviewing yours tomorrow as I gotta go have an exhausted sleep soon (and I hope that amusing exchange from the extract made it in!)

If there’s something to catch, InBrightestDay is the one to catch it! I wasn’t even familiar with the original song/film(?) although I’ve seen enough Rudolph references over the years and no doubt derivative stories to have the basics. Gotta say it sounds like a pretty cool, well thought out reference! but… but… it still has a big ol’ anthro deer! He was a buck and he was there to fuck! (uh… sorry Kiddo)! Just because some shortstack got stuck in someone was upset? Bah, furry drama llamas… There was an old old oglaf strip with the “Invincible Shield Maiden” where every strike someone gave her appeared on them, with the punchline being that a guy fucked her and felt his own cock inside him, “so good!” Reading your elf-kabob description reminded me of that and made me thinkof the elf magic being abused in a similar way. Rudy goes balls deep and suddenly he’s up to the nuts in his own reindeer guts – not in the Weird Al sense. ...yeah I’m also kinda weird.

...she does have some very lightlike sculpture in her garden. “...shall I have a welcoming hatefuck? No, dash it all, it’s Christmas!” Hey, it was cool the way they all gelled. Uh, I mean, as a team. I kinda had you down as the writer who could write anything, in any topic – I mean, you even nailed the Vanilla theme – so shows I was making an unfounded assumption. It’s quality MM stuff anyway, well, Bi! Ahh man, you shouldn’t feel any need to self censor just because of my own thoughts on what I read and what I don’t. If you were really keen for me to read it, you could have sent me a “TV edit” version (“is he… is he finding a stranger in the alps?”) with the sex scene/romantic lines removed and I could have reviewed that for you. Whatever you’re into, you’re not hurting folks just writing stories after all. Although since you’ve got those plans for ‘em I guess it all works out anyway waiting ‘til he’s 20. I’m kinda skipping the rest of the review/review reply as I haven’t read the story yet (beyond the brief extracts in email!) but I am hoping to get it read tomorrow now I am no longer hosting visitors! I am looking forward to it – new Year’s Eve treat since I am to tight to pay to go out on NYE anymore!

Heyoo! I hope the Christmassy/holidayey/late decembery/lightsy period went all well for you all. Sorry for delay in replies here, but I am back now. Back, and just as self loathing as ever! There’s a thread for story code suggestions over here that you can suggest it in! (or start a new one!) I think there may be a feeling that such a code would also need a rape tag, simply because while some folks use the codes to look for content they enjoy, others use them to avoid content that they would find distressing, and may not want to view any form of rape content, so having a clear code for that without having to check the meaning of something possibly less obvious is really useful. I totally got that! But when both reviews point out it ain’t the easiest to follow then I gotta take on board that it’s a little incoherant! That woulda worked. Probably there should have been more actual conflict, conflict is what makes stories interesting a lotta the time after all. Thank you! And thanks again for the review. I don’t even know what’s gonna happen. But luckily if I never get around to writing it, from the POV of the Christmas story it already happened!

Better late than never! Except where the heat death of the universe is concerned, possibly. Or the release of another Bieber album. That said, “ Warm and cuddly is surprisingly hard.” sounds like the opening line of a furry yiff fic.

It’s just a happy cross cultural co-incidence! Worked as intended, I’d say. I usually would class sex obtained by coercian as rape, but it certainly is a mainstream porn theme. Especially these days. Or so people who look at porn tell me, I’m pure and innocent and would never do such a thing. Based on the reviews so far folks don’t seem upset anyhow so you seem to have pitched it about right! If nothing else occurs as an idea you could always bring ‘em back next year! Either with another naughter listee or seeing how life as changed for Sarah? Thanks for doing the story for the party anyway, it was a good read! And having just read GeorgeGlass’s entry I’ve spotted another review on my execrable attempt to join the fun! Thank you for the review! I am sorry it didn’t make much sense – I think George had similar issues with making sense of this, so I fully accept a certain lack of coherency in my writing here. I’d say some of the issues are even more glaring obvious when placed against the better written entries (ie all of ‘em!) So, this bit: She could tell how nervous some of them were. Some of them feared their presents would go unopened. The idea was trying to suggest these folks were so nervous they thought they were going to get killed, and as such would not live to open any presents they were given – this being a Christmas eve set story. I didn’t say it was a good idea, but I hope it makes more sense now! As for Harry Potter, it was basically a bit of a jumping train of thought in character. Someone’s using magic, thanks to pop culture she thinks of Harry Potter, and then with her thoughts full of her husband she remembers watching a remake of the movie with him, before getting her thoughts back to the attackers. I totally see it is poorly written so feels disjointed and probably nonsensical too. My bad! She didn’t react because although they’re very good friends, she is incredibly miserable at Christmas time and some people find it hard to interact well even with old friends in this circumstance. She knew the friend was there, but since the friend was doing angel shit she just let her get on with it and kept with her own thoughts, and when she felt a little better just being in their company she did apologise for being rude. At least I think that was my rationalisation at the time. No names or anything included in it that might be a continuity lockout. It’s more just… total fucking misery at Christmas. I had kinda a bad day! Also I misread the summary for the AFF party and didn’t realise it was heartwarming stories that were wanted. And also am terrible at writing now. I dunno where I am going with this answer. Be hard to see how this story could work worse at this stage! Again, lack of clarity and coherance on my part over the angel’s gender. I would argue that the existing relationship doesn’t need strictly explaining directly when the angel arrives because both of them would already know it, and it only becomes strictly relevent to the reader when it is revealed anyway. Plus with my ham fisted writing I’d probably put something like: Old lady: “As you know you are my old friend who has arrived” Angel: “Yes, as you know I have known you for some time in an amicable manner.” And people would be hitting the next chapter button to get out of this shitshow so hard their devices would break. It’d be a mess! It’s better than that – they saved the night, too! And even the gloaming! Basically, the entire 24 hours. I will absolutely write it if I find myself able to. Thank you again for the review, I absolutely appreciate you taking the time to leave your thoughts and I am sorry for the especially confusing parts.

I left a review on ThunderCloud’s story then saw this’n! Shame the software doesn’t allow chapter specific review/notifications, but it’s not the end of the world. That’s scheduled for a week next Thursday. Thank you for your reivew! Until the end It reads much like my reviews of just about anything by James Joyce, with the obvious difference that he could write well! HP’s made too much money for them not to try a reboot of the movies at some point. It will happen. But it might happen with all the stuff JK Rowling revealed after the books included, like her regret of Ron and Hermione ending up together or eg the first scene is teenage Dumbledore tongue fucking Grindelwald’s arse beneath a warm summer’s sun. “The Rims of Grindelwald.” Thanks again, I appreciate it.

It’s not the length of the story, it’s what you do with it. Chortle guffaw, nudge nudge. Mine’s up! Surprised I managed to finish anything. Probably try and read one a day or so as with Halloween, although with family visiting from the 26th to the 30th or so I will likely get on to some of them after that date. I will read and review everyones though.

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: AFF Holiday Party 2019 Chapter 6 - Memories Review replies link: Review Replies -AFF Holiday Party 2019 thread Type of fic: Short Story Rating: Adult Fandom: Original Pairing: None Warnings: AFFO, ChallengeFic, Language, MCD, NoSex, OC (I am still working on week 210!)

You Can Take The Boy Out Of The Moisture Farm… Remembered as one of my stories reviewed by Topless Robot has had another review – Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. Yes, yes it is. Sorry ‘bout that. If I could give back the time you wasted reading it, I would!

This dude’s gone amongst the snuff fans like Saint Columba amongst the Picts. As for mine I finished that first draft and then didnt do anything else. Should still manage it before end of party. I look forward to starting reading the rest of y’alls!

Have managed first draft of a Christmas set flashfic, using the prompts for Week 2011 only 5 years after they were prompted. Should get it polished up. I can’t see anything in the rules for either the weekly prompts or the AFF party to say I can’t use it for both! It’s complete, it’s original, it has a holiday theme, there’s not really any applicable warnings, and it’s under 50k words. About 49k under 50k words. So at least it has brevity on its side in case anyone should have the misfortune of reading it. Anyone spot anything I’m missing? 20th December! I can’t remember if that was in TCR’s post originally or updated

G’luck! Original stories are fun but dang if less people want to look at a lot of ‘em here. Well some of them. Well, mine. I assume other folks do ok.

I had successfully removed all memory of that one from my mind, dang it all! Sigh… Alyosha? Please prepare the Lethe Vodka.

I am terrible beta reader. I would literally fail to spot an entire Godzilla sized thing. Even if that thing was literally Godzilla. But g’luck!

Progress is going pretty slow for me. I’ve managed near 4000 words for short story for the xiphoid /xebec prompts, and absolutely extra inspired by GeorgeGlass’s suggestion of CPR, but then when I try to right the sex scenes it ain’t coming. As it were. Also I am not sure if there’s too much exposition, although I’m trying to have one character appear not entirely sane (I think not having a firm grip on the character’s true nature is causing some issues) and given to rambling and talking on. Sample: (hopefully short enough to not breach forum rules, this new monitor is wider than I am used to) Anyway. on a bright note another review for Under Joan’s Bed: Thank you for taking the time to read and review! And thank you for the compliment! And also for this compliment! I think part of the problem with my improving is that I then go for ages without writing again and the skills rust. The author Haruki Murakami sees writing as much like running – he figures if it isn’t done regularly the muscles fade and get out of practice and I feel he had a pretty good point. Thing is, I just don’t find myself able to motivate myself to write… I sometimes wonder if apparant improvement is simply that at different times I get back into it and almost become a different writer. This was another of the weekly flashfic done back when there was a 1000 word limit. Now they can be short stories there’s more leeway (and so the current one I am doing is already way over that...) but otherwise this ran into the same issue you’ve correctly identified with some of the others – not enought words to tell all the juicy details. I can’t see me getting around to revising it along those lines although they’re good ideas – if you ever wanted to take the ideas and do your own take on it feel free! You’d surely do a better job than I ever managed anyway :)

It does rather feel like it might have nudged beyond ‘misunderstanding’ and ‘despite making their best efforts falling just short of compliance with TOS’ to “Fic stealing wee gobshites.” I again sit in amazement at anon managing to google fu up the originals and I hope it doesn’t take too much time for BW to deal with it.

You’re doing God’s work, George. Specifically, Priapus’s