JayDee

Twinpregnation by far my most popular story of the last two years at 7705 hits and now a 7th review! Not bad for a re-write from an even briefer story I did a decade ago. Done a lot better than originals like Pregnant in Alabama anyway, although that one did amusingly rile up some folks over on literotica. Thank you for your review! I want to say I appreciate you taking the time to leave some thoughts and for being so positive about it. Absolutely understand about it being a bit brief, If I had the talent I’d do another dozen chapters! Taking out the subplot from the first version has definitely seemed to have a positive impact on the story, which just goes to show that not everything is improved by including a werewolf. Thanks again!

The Slumber Party of Evil Doom now at 2070 dragon prints and that story that makes people viewing updates on Originals go “Fuckssakes, is that idiot still churning this dreck out?” (I like writing it, but I totally get why it doesn’t exactly get folks raving!) gets a review on the new part! I think the next part will be the final part. Maybe one more. In which case I’ll do another flashfic first so I don’t have to try to fit week 210’s words in. Thank you for your review! I really appreciate getting them. You’ve stuck through it all, when most have shuddered and hit that back button so hard the mouse cracked. Our lives are too short to waste them reading this kind of thing readers say, and they may be right. We only live once! So thank you for sacrificing a little slice of your slither of eternity on reading and reviewing it! I am glad ya liked it. Thanks! Little does Lupa know she’s got years of that to look forward to. Shannon had the ability in Fucking Halloween Party so I figured she could get an “earlier in timeline” show off here! What does that mean? It’s a robust genital related expression of shock/surprise/excitement, used much like “holy fuck” or “oh fuck”. And this from a girl who can move really fast, turn into mist and mesmerise people. Shannon is a really decent friend for a demon! I figured she probably didn’t think about it earlier because she had the assumption they would all be there and she’d do the business with her existing location gimmick built into the bracelet. Then suddenly Kizzy is going in alone and it clicks. This was the bit I wasn’t sure would work of course, hence sending you the original rough draft. It ties back in to why Kizzy is on Earth in the first place, because the Seraphim need to understand rather than just know. She’s tough though. She’ll be right. That's still funny. It also reveals a nice aspect of Shannon's character, how even without their knowledge, she's been looking out for her friends. Course she would! I mean, she turns up and basically goes “most popular girl in school!” and, yes, ok, she did send a cheerleader’s soul to Hell to get a spot on the team, but that Charity kind of had it coming, but even being super popular because of what a people person she is, she would still look out for the friends she made on her first day, who ended up her closest friends. I bet Kate and Lupa and Kiz would defend their friends with whatever other folks they hung out with too, if Shannon wasn’t there to jolly people along into being nice, and maybe engage in sexual experimentation. So, did Shannon run those two guys over to the farmhouse and have the quickest threesome in the world or something? “Shannon created a temporal fold of pure lust where time moved more slowly...” No, I kid, I kid. Shannon would have thoroughly enjoyed a threesome, as noted with her thoughts in the last part, but time was a factor both generally for tracking Kate, and also because of her last minute worry about Kizzy. So she basically persuaded them, with a good dose of succubus lust that there was nothing wrong with the feelings they had been suppressing for each other, and that they weren’t at the farm to make trouble and would be leaving shortly. Normally, of course, the Sherriff wouldn’t buy it, and the Deputy definitely wouldn’t, but somehow their hands were inside each other’s coats, and there was a bed inside the farmhouse, and, well, they were obviously good girls. They’d said Grace. And Shannon worked fast, but not fast enough, and once again a friend got hurt. She probably felt that. Anyway, thank you for your review! How you manage to keep making it through this stuff…

I think I detect a slight bias towards your preferred choice here.

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: The Slumber Party of Evil Doom part 8 - Back into the Barn Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult Fandom: Original Pairing: None Warnings: AFFO, Language, Challengefic, NoSex

Honestly, except for all the times I’ve been rude to people on here you’d never see me being rude to people on here.

And a quick google search shows he has previous form for flames: http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/review.php?set=read&no=600106520 http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/review.php?set=read&no=600106484 http://cartoon.adult-fanfiction.org/review.php?set=read&no=600095715&page=3 (This one is half constructive!) Dude’s been hitting the Cardassian wine a little too hard.

Congrats!

“Capacity to spread” having a very different meaning in the porn fics.

They aren’t wrong!

Heh, fair enough! That word always reminded me of a Marvel/DC crosover, where the Sub Mariner says something about being a Scion of Atlantis, and Aquaman agrees he’s done plenty of “sighin’ in Atlantis” too. Still better than the sparklepires tbh.

This one made me laugh out loud.

Just thought! Sticking to the latin theming – instead of Dominator “Dominus” was latin for master. It got used later on to mean like a Lord, same with the feminine “Domina” being used to mean lady.

My apologies to your dog. Truly learning “what’s the worst that can happen” today. Child’s a tough one. I was gonna say Youngling but it makes me think of star wars even though it’s like twelve hundred years old.

You! Thank you! Told you you were in it. And it sure is good to see you posting things that aren’t the same request. G’luck with that!

Master – Dominator Child – “Barely Evil,” n00b (gamers are pretty evil), vampire – ‘suckers, leeches, nightkind, Plasmatics alpha – Primus beta – Secundus (the idea for these two being that one side has the greek letter names alpha/beta, and the other has the latin for first and second) pack – band What do you call someone who isn't traditionally submissive, but who isn't aggressive enough to be a beta type? Neville Longbottom.

Thanks!

Puberty?

I am doing a tonne of overtime tomorrow so I may be a little slower getting back to you this time round, but I’ll look at it as soon as I can with my ususal useless relentless positivity.

I hope you find a beta so part 4 is up to read soon! I’d volunteer but I am the worst beta ever. All I have is relentless positivity when people need harsh constructive criticism. Also my grammar and spelling are terrible.

My guess? Mia gon’ fuck somebody.

Ghost of Jane Austin somewhere wishing like heck the same rule had applied to Sanditon.

The Slumber Party of Evil Doom InBrightestDay has kindly reposted the review linked above of what is now parts 5 and 6 of the story. My original reply can be seen here and thank you again for the review. Also a new review of the brand spanking new part 7: Thank you for the review. I really do appreciate it. This kind of thing doesn’t really have wide appeal on AFF so it’s nice to see someone likes it besides me getting the enjoyment of writing it. Thank you! Yeah, it’s definitely win-win for Shannon. I think it was just trying to make Lupa laugh, but if Lupa had actually turned out to be into it Shannon wouldn’t have backed off That made me grin, partly from the Hartman thing, but mostly just from the fact that of course Lupa would imagine harps playing in Heaven. I'm not entirely sure where the association between harps and angels came from, but it always amuses me. Relevation 5:8? Yes, doesn’t say angels but that wouldn’t stop folks making associations with the context! Lupa’s got the full “This is my harp. There are many like it, but this one is mine.” mental image for sure. I keep imagining her drawing an hourglass in the air or something. Probably closer to that then going “Honk! Honk!” while grasping the air with both hands. Okay, I got a good chuckle out of this, for two reasons. First, Shannon is apparently a fan of Saints Row. Second, it makes me wonder what Luzurial was thinking in that pause. Was that her sexual naivete, assuming that what Shannon had formed was a sap, or did she realize what Shannon had made and claimed it was a sap so as not to embarrass her in front of her fellow angels? "Yes, that's a sap. Male angels, do not correct me on this." I like the ambiguity of it. I never actually played any of the Saints Row games! GTA: San Andreas had a dildo weapon tho’ come to think of it and I played that. I don’t think young Chastia had violence in mind when she formed her ‘weapon’ though. As for what Luzurial really thought… I’ll leave you the ambiguity. Thanks again for the review! The next chapter I am hoping to get up this Sunday or so, it’s mostly done, with less changes/expanding than this got, but I think a couple changes make more sense than what I had. Then hopefully finish it with one or two more chapters to give it, and the original Blood on the Hay, a proper combined ending.

Ok, now I’m confused.

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: The Slumber Party of Evil Doom part 7 - Talking while Travelling Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult Fandom: Original Pairing: None Warnings: AFFO, Language, Challengefic, NoSex