JayDee

There is that, but it has to be said that with a lot of my stories being quite niche aimed (ie the snuff) another author’s as likely to alight on something pretty horrible and never return, as they are to see something like this! There’s probably most nasty stuff on my profile than nice She’s ancient, devious, great at manipulation, powerful, and has a bunch of servants steeped in cruelty, oh, and Lily, who’s not even dead yet but in it for fucking over the kind of assholes who hurt women like, uh, Jude was. On his side, he’s a dead youth pastor with a former alcohol problem. The odds are stacked against him...but, hey, he’s got renewed faith, a burning desire to make amends, and a literally burning soul due to that sliver of Seraph. So… yeah. Lots of failures before triumph. I know that feeling – I had a really really busy period a few years back and I couldn’t get anything done, and it’s been kind of since then that I seem to have lost the knack for the longer form stories. I tend to have a bit more time the last six months or so, but I’ve just ended up doing more reading and reviewing and only barely knocking out re-writes or the flash chapters. Fingers crossed!

Heh, sorry about that. I swear I’ve used non-damaging tails at some point though I can’t recall exactly when. I think my Harry Potter/Nightmare on Elm Street crossover maybe… Still, I’d say you found a good way to wash away the taste! Yeah, it was great!. I don’t always notice new stories popping up – the last one I reviewed before this was deleted the next day, but I’m sure it wasn’t my review as it was really positive. The demon’s own initially relucatance and needing to be persuaded into it kind’ve makes it a victim too. If it hadn’t been summoned, and bound, it wouldn’t have got involved. That was something else I’ve been thinking about was pretty interesting.

When a story is longer on the front page unless someone is trawling back through and the summary or codes catch their eye, or they specifically come to my profile and same, it’ll get a lot less hits and with the tiny percentage of hits that leave reviews anyway (like, one story has 121K hits and 18 reviews) the odds of getting more feel pretty unlikely. He doesn’t deserve things easy – he tried to murder Kizzy! I think, ultimately, he might succeed though in some dim and distant future. Half a year? It’ll fly by! I mean, look how fast three months have gone so far. And, yes, those story codes all seem like my kind of thing. I’ll check it out some time this week – thanks for rec! Guy thinks he’s raping a girl, but she actually wants him to do it, then when he goes to leave she traps him, reveals her true nature and offers him a slim chance to live… So it’s a bit of a tired old cliche, but all I can say is that 10-11 years ago when I did the first version the whole “roleplaying at being raped” thing was, well, 10-11 years less tired while still being tired. It’s not much of a defence. Digging inside, he pulled out Shannon MacDuff’s recently discarded panties and sniffed at them. Cal flicked out his tongue for a little taste of the crotch. It’s set before The Slumber Party of Evil Doom.

Hot Dog! is my main idea from above actually written. Thanks for the review! I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I guess it’s an example of Rule 34 in action – Zell and Angelo exist, so now there’s porn of them getting it on. I’m afraid I haven’t played any of the DragonQuest games, though I did do a Tomb Raider story with an OC doing a transformed sheep Lara. That one’s not my finest hour tbh. Thank you again.

Jude's Tale gets a final review! Thanks for your review! A delayed review for more thought is fine by me. I’m sure most readers could suggest ways to make it better, maybe some of them could turn up in later stories! I appreciate you taking the time for your thoughts. Thank you again! I’m sure with more room I could have had a lot more buttplug related material – the plus side with a character like Shannon is that she’s quite likely to get into other sex toy related situations in future where they might fit. There’s definitely a story to be told there sometime. Jude’s wanting to atone by helping an Archangel find redemption, while The Duchess is going to be putting all of her billions of years of experience into corrupting him in such a way it doesn’t damage her obligation to protect him. He’s already in Hell so as long as he doesn’t end up suffering she should be ok. Persuading him to take advantage of her sexually would be a good start, but I suspect he’s now set on only having that kind of relationship with an Archangel… Getting her out on picnics means Jude can deal with her without her needing to put on a show for lesser demons, so they’ve probably got trips a plenty to have. The sad fact is that I’m not the best fan either, but it seems to be all I can finish these days, besides the damn old work re-writes. All the time and effort folks put into long chapters makes it a lot easier to get into them and feel the characters. I’m still looking forward to the future chapters of With the Mirror Came... and Carmen Elisa Need to Die over here In your own time! Thank you for the reviews on this story, I appreciate them. My next thing to finish is looking like it might be another re-write, so it’ll be longer if I can finish that!

I still say it’s gotta be possible to find a way to do it without borrowing a plot point from the other guy, even if it is only down to identifying a commercial or historical work it was used in first and then writing it with citation of that work instead!

She’s the one got him to turn into a chicken! Thank you! I love that ya loved it. Jude's Tale Thank you for this review! I’m really glad the humor worked. I guess so far as the Monty Python bit goes, that’s not my humor but I nicked it anyway Jude was definitely the kind of guy who got drunk, rubbed one out to some AFF story and then didn’t leave so much as a “thanks for writing it” the dirty callous handed bastard. Kizurial isn’t bad, but she’s definitely made some questionable decisions in her time in the belief that she was doing the right thing. She’s generally a good influence at least. I hoped for fun, I got part 8 which had less jokes. And thank you for this review! I think Jude’s got quite the job on his hands. I think their relationship would be an odd one, since the Duchess’ main aim now would be to corrupt him back into being her fuckboi pet, while still required to protect him, while Jude’s only interested in what she might become again. Kizurial’s hope is a) that she is redeemed and b) that dealing with Jude keeps her from being able to be as effective at interfering with other mortals or Kizzy and Shannon and co. These characters are all free for others to use! InBrightestDay has an idea for a crossover at some point set after The Woman in the Statue which ought to be fun if it ever gets written. And then there’s an entirely non-canon “Shanon/Kevin/Luzurial” threesome we joked about, where Kevin gives the heartwarming tale of how they came to fall in love and respect and cherish each other, and Shannon’s so overcome with happiness for them she can barely ask dirty questions about how they first got to the boning. Thank you! Always happy to hear when things made readers laugh Thank you again! Shannon definitely not finding orgasm denial so pleasant to be on the receiving end. And thank you again for reading, and reviewing. I guess the next thing I’d like to do with them is finish off the Blood on the Hay story, and maybe even another part or two of the original Slumber Party story to show what happened next on that fateful night after Eparlegna went to Hell. I also have a couple origin stories for Lupa and Shannon that I’m thinking on (I’ve got a chunk of “The Fall of Chastia” written already) but while my muse is only giving me the motivation to do the 1000 word flashfics/chapters for the prompts adding new parts to the early two fics with Kizzy and Co seems like a likely option. I’ve jinxed it now. I may never write again. ...and I may have gone over the line a few times. Left it distantly behind me, invisible for the dust, and the blood, and the misery. Still, you’ve got to laugh. You’re a pretty shining high point of the site yourself!

Jude’s Tale has limped past 500 views! Quite a way to go to beat the 9587 views Naruto the Cluck managed just by using the beaten-to-death “Hinata cuckolds Naruto” trope. If I was in this just for the hits I’d just shit out Naruto crackfics until they got wise to me. Thank you thank you thank you! I really liked how this one came out too. The Seraph absolutely hoped Jude would make the choice he did, but may not be entirely prepared for re-absorbing the mask and the impact it may have on her, such as certain more-human yearnings. Thanks again! Shannon would probably take professional affront to that line, mind. “Someone doesn’t want me? I must try harder!” I’m glad the ending felt right – It was the only way I could see to do it, though it doesn’t really make up for the bad things Jude did, it’s a tiny step in the right direction. There was a bet. Shannon bet she could swallow more hot dogs than Wolf!form Kate, who took the bet forgetting that Shannon could swallow a lot without gagging. Oh! Wait, do you mean the Duchess’s promise? Yeah, there’s that That’ll be important later. Thank you again, I appreciate your reading and reviewing this story. I hope you’re making/have made good progress on that original you mentioned working on with CloverReef!

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: Hot Dog! Review replies link: Review Replies -Final Fantasy Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult++ Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII Pairing: Zell x Angelo Warnings: AFFO Beast ChallengeFic COMPLETE Contro Fingering, Minor2 (Age: 17), MF, Oneshot, Oral PWP ...there were two week 201s

I wish you luck with it

Thanks! And phew. No problem with nitpicking, honestly, it’s always nice to learn things. I did just have a look and saw – https://www.dictionary.com/browse/-al Giving Luz (light) uri (light) al (having the form or character of) So I could stretch and say -al still works for the light squared idea but relies on a bit of Latin instead. No doubt a quirk of that setting. Phew again.

Hopefully they mean whoever did this ‘in story’ :p As for the spelling, I grant that my ancient Hebrew scholarship was weaker than it should have been, but honestly some of the angels in this setting have even less proper names. Luzurial was the name the character gave me in my head, who’m I to argue? Kizzy’s just as bad… And as for Chastia, I mean, that’s originally from latin. I ain’t the brightest!

Jude's Tale gets a review! And I have time to respond before going away for the weekend That sounds so much like the setup for a short porn video (or just a really terrible pickup line) that I grin just thinking about it. “Terrible synth music starts playing in the park.” Firstly thanks for the review! Secondly, terrible pick up line is what I was going for. This is like a pair of totally inexperienced introverts, managing to spend time with each other officially for study but also due to each having deeply held desire for the other suddenly finding their desires overwhelming, and nerding it up a little. Like the awkward kissing! Plus, being around a revved up Shannon can make most people act like they’re in bad porn. Nacre was coming up and I chose cutlery to get it in there – a hamper picnic also seemed a good way to get ‘em to Shannon’s statue. I didn’t know about the reputation as an aphrodisiac! Unintentionally makes it kind of even more appropriate, so that’s cool. Besides being classy I was thinking about Persephone having to stay in the underworld, while the donuts may have been sourced over at the Ironic Punishment Division but, yes, likely Jude’s choice if they’re in there. Just throwing references at the wall and seeing what I could get away with. Thanks! “Just throwing references at the wall and seeing what I can get away with.” :p Tegwen wanted to ensure Shannon had a suitable punishment, as inspired by Kizurial’s decision, but she’s as naive about sexuality as Luzurial was so it ended up harsher than intended. She presumably expected Shannon to meekly stand inside and consider her sins for eternity. Although unpleasant it hasn’t got so bad I thought it needed the Tort tag – if you think it could use one, let me know! The orgasm denial element is also a call back to what Shannon put Chummy through in Corrupt the Midwife Holy shit. This statue thing... First I thought it lasted for 100 trillion years, then I realized that because of how long red dwarfs live it would actually be 120 trillion years. Then you clarified that the statue lasts until the nucleons decay, which means it lasts for anywhere from 2 trillion trillion trillion years to 30 million trillion trillion trillion years (depending on proton half-life), and here we learn that after just one or two billion years the torture of the experience is enough to shatter even an immortal mind. If I may almost-quote something I had a character think in my own story, how is it that every time we learn more about this situation, it somehow becomes impossibly worse? *Taps self on chest* Monster. The Duchess could be wrong, although she believes she is right. I think Luzurial and even Shannon could both retain their minds throughout the whole of existence if left inside. Eparlegna might even intend that with the original design, because retaining rational awareness and those periods of lucidity, would likely make the suffering even worse. Something I've picked up on, at least from my own reading experience, is that the best way to really hurt me as a reader is to say or do something unbelievably cruel and then be as flippant about it as possible, minimizing its importance. Given the Duchess's expertise with torture, I honestly can't tell if she's genuinely just being casual about it or if those words were carefully chosen to hurt Shannon as much as possible. The whole story from the Duchess’ perspective has been about scoring as much emotional damage to Shannon as possible, because Shannon walked out on her. So her involvement started with manipulating Jude to try and kill Shannon’s friend (with added big picture bonus of trying to take out a frickin’ seraph). The Duchess’ motivation is a big part of the reason I thought it was appropriate to end the story with Shannon after all rather than leave that part of the story unshown. The last time she punished Shannon directly was in the decades after the Chummy debacle. That was physical punishment and it didn’t go so well, since Shannon throroughly enjoyed all the filthy sexual things the Duchess’s mind could come up with, though the Duchess just heard all the hollerin’ and thought things were going to plan. Thinking about Luzurial’s utterly unconsensual violations and tortures is considerably more painful to Shannon. The Duchess has realised this and is taking full advantage to twist the knife. Making a point of talking about Kizurial’s command in front of Shannon’s statue is another part of that. Her final throw of the dice is trying to kill the friendship and leave Shannon without someone watching out for her on Earth against other angels. It’s still ultimately Jude’s Tale because he goes from being the Duchess’ pawn to being in a position to influence her back, (my favorite bit is her appalled reaction to finding he intends to help her find redemption) and if I didn’t get to explore his past and his change from good guy to dipshit, at least it was a tale of his present and possible future. Dying, and getting inside Kizurial (stop snickering, Shannon), definitely put Jude in a mindset to change away from being a nasty bigot, and get back to the kind of guy he used to be, much less of an asshole than in parts 1 – 3. Shannon’s “Fuck you,” is a way of saying that his regretful words alone aren’t much to her, but maybe after those lifetimes in Hell if he’s keeping at it she’d speak more kindly to him – plus she’s pretty fucking miserable at that point. Hopefully I’ll get to write a oneshot follow up at some point to resolve the issues between Shannon and Kizzy (and with some apologies from Kizzy to a certain other archangel, oh and a tentacle monster. Heh, calling back to taking a story title taken from a song I could call it “All Apologies.” Thanks for reviewing all of the parts of the story, I appreciate the heck out of it. I genuinely hope it hasn’t been too tedious to push through, but I had fun with it! I’m off in a bit and won’t be back on AFF until Sunday after that, but I’ll be happy to reply further then – I hope everyone has a good weekend!

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: Jude's Tale – Part 8 - A Sexy Fucking Statue Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic (...ish. I mean, each part is going to be up to 1000 words.) Rating: Adult+ Fandom: Original Pairing: Shannon solo, couple unnamed girls together, buncha non-detailed OCs getting it on. Warnings: AFFO ChallengeFic COMPLETE, Inc (no detail), FF Fingering (minimal detail), Solo, Toys.

It could have been. I originally thought of doing it that way, but decded to include dead Jude getting Shannon out as the final part – he’s gonna legitimately feel bad that someone got imprisoned trying to fix him stabbing Shannon, after all. I’m sure I can squeeze some buttplug jokes inside another story. Shannon’s usually got a range of toys available. Kizzy and Shannon and what happens after that will all be seperate if I ever get to write it. Which I’d quite like to, although it probably won’t be the most gripping story. I’m thinking I’ll probably throw in a tentacle demon incursion to spice things up since I haven’t tried tentacles for a while.

Fair enough!

I think by the time it rolls around extreme climate change coupled with the current drive towards putting even more of the world into poverty for the benefit for the few will see much of the remaining population barely surviving as intentionally poorly educated serfs for a tiny inbred elite in the remaining habitable areas. I may be less optimistic. So there’s one bit earlier, Would it work if they’re taking a similar attitude to civillians breaking inside the Rupture (which happened the first time around as well in the confusion, and possibly also due to sheer numbers overwhelming part of the line that didn’t fire on civillians, due to folks desperate to try and reach/save loved ones) – most of the National Guard guys don’t know who Kevin and Co or Brendan are, so they would just see an SUV smashing through to get inside, Brendan’s gun likely not visible through the windows, and have only a non-lethal option allowed against non-demons/id constructs… we don’t know how effecitve it is against an SUV, and so could only report it up the line that some poor dumb bastards had gotten through?

That was the original plan Unfortunately you may be disappointed. I’m having trouble fitting in the stuff I need to show in the final part!

You could always try it and see how it turned out! “You miss 100% of the come shots you don’t write” -Definitely not Wayne Gretzky that time.

I’m sure it’ll be good either way!

I guess the exhaustion in Whore of Heaven could have been down to a much higher rate of forced orgasms, than the consenual ones with Kevin (I mean, rather than just being down to not-very-thought-out writing). “Servant, this makes you look like someone else who has authority to be there.” “Thank you master.” “Whatever you do, don’t go out there and introduce yourself under the name they’re looking for instead.” Later “I’m Brendan… ah crap.” I kid I kid! I’m sure you’ll do fine. If you stuck with the comms SNAFU you could always make it deliberately down to someone sympathetic to Eparlegna’s aims in the National Guard being the one to get the message and not pass it on. gotta be some there same as in the PPD.

Oh, gotcha. No, she’s still got it. It’s in nice and snug and she’s exactly the kind of person who would happily take a sex toy to paradise. Expecially when she’s got more important things to worry about, so it’s still there with her in the statue. If she had got into a situation where it was an issue then once her hands were free she would have eased it back out. Heh, if she had given it and Kate came round to Shannon’s recently used buttplug in her hand… I mean, at least as a werewolf Kate knows what all their butts smell like. To Kizurial it would very likely be seen as something that’s worth making a sacrifice for, because of what Jude might achieve in this instance, but It’s really not an issue for the Seraphim in this setting. They’ve got far-beyond-mortal regenerative capabilities of body and soul (which in their true form I suspect are a lot less dinstinguishable than for humans). Even when stabbed with a Void Blade which the Duchess believed would be guaranteed to end her, Kizzy kept the effects on herself at bay for long enough to be able to stop it entirely while in the Lake. It probably all relates to how in their true form they burn constantly for billions of years without being consumed by fire. Always worth asking! Jude might even ask her what that was all about at some point, though probably not in story.

Jude's Tale final part will hopefully be finished by next Thursday, ‘cos I’m gonna have very limited internet access Friday and Saturday and a chunk of Sunday. I’m just happy to get reviews! Thank you for ‘em, I appreciate the thoughts and comments. However you want to do ‘em is fine by me. Thank you especially for this bit! Many great parts? I love that compliment! Yeah, she left the buttplug in, she was probably still hoping to get back to Trenna quite quickly (she can be a bit of an optimist when it comes to sex). I haven’t played a Mario Kart for a while either, but that blue shell sure was annoying on some of the ones I have played I don’t always find it the easiest myself! I kind of wrote my way into it back in The Slumber Party of Evil Doom without ever expecting it to matter. It doesn’t really impact most of the stories. There’s about five stories I’ve done plus Inbrightestday’s The Woman in the Statue taking place on one Earth, and then a bunch more are taking place on the other Earth, but which ones are which doesn’t really matter Yes, the hammering was how the Void Blade’s effect on the barrier was perceived by Kizzy and Jude. I’m glad the interaction came across good! Kizzy basically gave Jude the equivalent of a layer of the skin on the tip of her little finger, tiny for her, but huge to Jude. This is down to the different power levels between a seraph and a mortal soul. Doing it allowed her to patch up the damage to his soul from the Void Blade, which had begun to be unmade, but also empowers him a little eg with the mind shield.. As a seraph, Kizzy answers only to The Creator. Besides following her creator’s commands and guidance, she’s at liberty to do anything she thinks is the right thing to do. Sometimes she gets her decisions horribly wrong. Jude enters in the middle of the Duchess shouting so with it being from his POV he doesn’t understand it either! He doesn’t know any of this, but: When the Duchess knew Shannon left with Kizzy and Jude, she sent empowered and armed ghoul types to kill their Lupa and Kate – for being friends with Kizzy and Shannon as much as anything. The Duchess can be really petty. Anyway, the ghouls made a shit job of it for various reasons and she’s upset with them. There is a reference to another story – Jeb was killed by Kate in Blood on the hay. I figured the Duchess did some research into Shannon’s friends before starting and discovered how some real nasty pieces of work like Jeb had been killed by Kate, and ended up recruiting them from their own torments, possibly because seeking revenge makes them more powerful. Or something. Thank you again for the review.

It starts with the salad, it ends up with waking inside a Wicker Man.