SirGeneralSir

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SirGeneralSir last won the day on May 24 2017

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  1. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    interesting take, I will have to keep that in mind.
  2. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    @Thundercloud At the moment I am just trying to work out the introduction of the characters first, make sure that they are presented properly first so that they are NOT seen as the typical “tavern wenches” that will open their legs for some extra gold and are dumb as nails. They ARE dangerous if provoked, they are intelligent and crafty, and they have a “father figure” behind the bar that will murder you in front of everyone to protect his “kids”
  3. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    @BronxWench You made some very good points, some I never would have noticed. @Desiderius Price The Mc is kind of the secret hero to the girls, he will take/serve orders from tables that will likely give the girls a hard time, the less they have to deal with the better their lives, even if he has to suffer a bit. The three girls notice him doing it, not why and become fond of him but he is the polite, respectful boy-scout that doesnt understand women.
  4. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    Ok tell me what you think of this character introduction, its from the MCs perspective/memory as he was looking at the people in the tavern he works with. (Janina, a young elf with blond hair that was always tied up into a folded ponytail bun, stood at just over six feet tall and had blue eyes that has a slight glow to them. Her green top gently hugged her athletic body, her fair sized breasts pressing against the fabric were the envy of many women, as were her strong toned legs hidden by a pair of grey pants that held on to her round shapely buttocks. Only once did anyone ever try to force her to do something she didn't want to. She had the man pinned to the wall with a spell in one hand and a blue fire ball in her other, ready to kill the poor drunk. After he had pissed his pants, she smiled at him and told him it was time to go home before he gets into any more trouble, to which he quickly paid his tab and ran home. Janina simply returned to work while the entire tavern was dead silent, not one person taking their eyes off her until she asked if anyone needed another drink in one of the sweetest voices that challenged anyone to try something like that again.)
  5. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    Oh I am trying to give more details into the girls, I 100% hate the helpless “damsel” in distress or characters that are only some times useful to the main characters. I WANT, them to more or less be equals just different, but I do have a self imposed restriction of no more than 10-15 pages per chapter, or I could end up with 100 pages in no time X_X
  6. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    @Thundercloud My thought was that the girls appearances cause people assume that they are A or B type of girl. I can not count how many times in media I have seen the blond big breast bimbo, This girl/woman is a contradiction to that, they all are supposed to be a contradiction. Maybe not the dark elf, she is scary assassin type and does end up throwing a few daggers at one guy that tries to force himself on another girl, in short these girls could murder you in any number of ways and it would probably be justified.
  7. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    my number 1 all time books were either Goosebumps or Battle Tech/Mech Warrior. perspective wise though, I would say maybe trying to take a Q from LOTR would be a better setting or something.
  8. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    I described the night first and zeroed in on the tavern, something akin to “it was a dark and stormy night” sort to speak.
  9. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    What I did, though it still needs work, is introduced the MC, tavern owner and girls in the first chapter. There will eventually be more dedicated chapters for each of the characters giving more details into their personal lives and why ABC XYZ exists for them. Just have to make it not sound cheesy or anything.
  10. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    The story will be mostly set around the MC, its his adventure sort to speak. as for the breast thing, I am actually basing it off of a real world experience when I was in Jr High. There was this one girl that was ……. developed, to say the least, and I do remember two other girls who were not as big as her talking to each other about how they wished they had them around her size. now she was not HUGE but I do think that if she got any bigger she might have had to get a reduction later in life. Most of what I did share is also more or less part of the story as is, just arranged differently.
  11. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    They are NOT the damsels in distress, they are just three girls/women working at a tavern, they are ok with a little fun, but will murder you if you cross that line, you get one warning. In one of the descriptions for one of the girls, there was several “men” that were ….. persistent, they were also armed so the owner who is the bartender, pulled out his axe and cut the leader in half and mounted his helmet on the wall behind him. The MC is a young man that also works at the tavern, polite and respectful, a good boy If you were to fuse Aang, Sokka and Naruto into one person, that is kind of what I am going for personality wise. If a woman’s top ripped off in public, he would be the first to offer his shirt or find something else to cover her with, if she is actively flirting with him he will blush but not make a move unless she gives him the ok. If the girls have to bring food/drink to some people that would be annoying to the girls, he will take it to them instead so they dont have to, the ultimate customer service face, though I am trying to plant some darkness in him too. for the first few chapters, the girls will be side characters that eventually become main characters that help the MC along with the goddess, the world is also set in a RPG type setting but only when someone has been blessed by a god/goddess or demon lord
  12. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    So story wise, the three women will have personal reasons for working at the tavern, mostly along the lines that the owner was good to them and helped them in XYZ situations, same with the MC. The reason that I do have some of these “men” act that way is because, it happens, its real world ish. (Not that its right mind you) Janina’s appearance means nothing for her actual skills, she is just a woman with a larger chest, but as the typical perception goes, looks = ……… thing only for it not to be true. The three girls do and will get some light harassments in terms of comments but none of the “smart” men will ever try to force them because if the girls dont kill them, the tavern owner will because in a way they are almost like his daughters, but they are also big girls that can take care of them selves. In the story, there is even a goddess that appears and the typical fat rich head of the merchants guild tries to seduce her with his non existent charm, only for her to change into a hulking, bulking, bulging man and make all kinds of belittling comments about his lacking in comparison before changing back. Over all, I don’t want the story to just be a jack fest, I want to make an actual story that hopefully both men and women would enjoy. The world they are in, I would say is a light demonic/monster post apocalyptical world, the kingdoms still exist and so do the armies but they stay behind the walls, heading out at night is more or less a death sentence and during the day can be just as dangerous too so the guilds have almost no members as many are not even strong enough to fight most monsters.
  13. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    @BronxWench I agree that it is unfair for people/characters to be labeled just because they look like A or B, big Brest women = bimbos, most of all blond ones, Big mussel bound guys = dumb as a door nail and so on and so on. My goal in this instance was more of flip on that, yes she is top heavy but to be able to use magic means she is clearly not some typical bimbo that can just be whisked off into a back room after a few nice words or the drop of a few coins, It will likely be the end of you if you try. That said, the reason we keep beating this dead horse is that I would rather have multiple people enjoy my story as best I can instead of just throwing a bunch of words and having people roll their eyes at it., I want to become a good writer and not just a typical fiction writer that writes about 12in cocks that would never fit inside a actual body, large bouncing breasts that could be classed as a dangerous weapon and all that …… painful stuff. The two other women, very different from Janina do have moments like that too. A human girl goes full berserker on a noble and almost kills him with his own sword and a Dark elf throws daggers at a guy trying for force another girl (customer) at the tavern to go with him. The tavern owner, a Dwarf doesn't need bouncers when he has the girls, but if someone does step well out of line, he has his axe under the table and has used it.
  14. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    Awesome feedback everyone. This is the actual current description that I was going with for the elf girl, it more or less was the same way for the other two women with slight detail changes. “Janina, a young elf with blond hair that was always tied up into a folded ponytail bun, stood at just over six feet tall and had green eyes that were sharper than any dagger. Her green top gently hugged her athletic body, her fair sized breasts pressing against the fabric were the envy of many women, as were her strong toned legs hidden by a pair of grey pants that held on to her round shapely buttocks. Only once did anyone ever try to force her to do something she didn't want to. She had the man pinned to the wall with a spell and a blue fire ball in her hand ready to kill the poor drunk. After he had pissed his pants, she smiled at him and told him it was time to go home before he gets into any more trouble, to which he quickly paid his tab and ran home. Janina simply returned to work while the entire tavern was dead silent, not one person taking their eyes off her until she asked if anyone needed another drink.” I tried to limit my description of her bust but felt it was important because the idea is that her having larger breasts, gives people that do not know her as being a potential bimbo and an easy mark, until that fireball appears.
  15. SirGeneralSir

    Introducing characters

    So I was talking with my wife about the first chapter to an Original story I am working on and she commented on that she didnt know how she felt about the appearance/description for three female characters as I described their bust size. My thinking was that it’s important because of how the characters are treated, for example there is a blond busty elf girl, she is not a bimbo and has some powerful magical abilities, push her too far and you will have a fireball heading for your nuts. I tried to give the MC, male, the same level of detail about his build, or rather lack of. He in no way looks or sounds like a hero. would anyone be able to give me their thoughts on this?