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Everything posted by JayDee

  1. JayDee

    How do you know if people like your story?

    I just assume they don’t like my stories! But, seriously, dragon prints can be a reasonable guide, especially if they keep going up loads on new parts.
  2. JayDee

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    It could work, even if they eventually do come back – see their adventures on the way!
  3. JayDee

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    Shokan Lust has some good bits, some of the jokes in ‘You!’ aren’t terrible, and there’s also a few scenes in Ending the Fan that came out alright. I kinda have a soft spot for unleash the beast too, just because it’s probably my most plagiarised story. But enough about me now, this is your story discussion thread! We oughta talk your story! You ever think about introducing a good guy character who is too big to fit in the bunker? Kinda interracting with them outside, but having to face it all alone. A Transformer maybe, or some other big ol’ character.
  4. JayDee

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    Yeah, but it wasn’t my concept, it was a request fic
  5. JayDee

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    Oldschool mortal kombat fan probably! For the Shokan Lust story, someone had read my previous Sheeva-with-a-dick oneshot and suggested the Sonya corruption storyline for the next one. I had about a ten year period where whenever someone suggested something to me I could pretty much write it. Now I’m like “Soundas great! Awesome idea” *Gets nothing done* I am pretty sure DS only did the first Gogedheh story because someone paid him to do the concept in an actually readable and entertaining form, then the rest were paid for by folks who liked that one he wrote and didn’t know I did something with the character first. Possibly not the best recommendation of the original there
  6. JayDee

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    Come to that, I watched it when I was a kid so it’s gotta have been before your time originally hasn’t it? I forget this stuff! I keep forgetting too, it’s been years since I was a regular there so it’s probably changed a whole lot. I mean, two seperate comments on a story not by DS? Things have really changed! But aside from that, I expect different users now have different tastes. Funny thing, I’ve had Sheeva in three seperate stories which is probably enough to get her into my “most written about character” top five or so – (HP single fandom not included!). I liked playing her a lot back when MK3 came out I guess. Well, there’s a lot less violence/gore in my Sheeva-and-Sonya starring Shokan Lust and when it does appear it’s not the focus. Eh. Fair enough though, mosta my shit is kinda niche, and poorly written niche at that so worth skipping if ya don’t dig the themes
  7. JayDee

    Thundercloud's Review Responses

    Has there been anything major you’ve cut out in the revision? Entire subplots, or sex scenes, or anything like that, or is it more of a re-ordering and changing from tell to show like the example here? Half-elf: “Yes I’m 400 years old, but I still like to fuck. Get yer pants off big guy.” It’s the kind of thing can bite a tyrant in the ass! I gues he doesn’t care with his power and demons. I did see the line, I didn’t realise it was that kind of drug! (brand name Floppicoxin… ahem) I think I assumed more like a fatigue one. D’oh. Ah, fair enough. I hadn’t thought about that. Makes sense!
  8. I'm not a big one for original writing, so it's even more appropriate to just have one reply thread for this section! Sure, the first story is slash but that's only 25% of my original stories (and in pure length quite a lot less because the Angel story is thousands of words (and earned me a brilliant email asking if I was against God, and if not could the seminary-attending-yet-porn-story-reading emailer do a follow up where the angel was saved by twu luv. I said go for it... That's not a joke by the way. His email domain was a religious college. I swear by Eris t'was so.) Anyway, review replies... Harvest Mouse was my third plot idea for the prompt, and possibly my first ever cons m/m scene. Not a banjo player in hearing. Asexual Biped - Thank you! I like my anthros with a good streak of the animal in them, not just a human with a snout, as it were. pittwitch - Thank you, but honestly I thought that line was sort of corny. Ahem. I guess once harvested you can't sell it at market. Fairy Slayer - ...Corny, I say, corny. Thank you for your review also, I am glad the background stuff worked. I don't know why I couldn't just start it with something like "On this Earth there are furries. Deal with it." but the story wanted people to know why. Given the length of the story, I was seriously considering leaving out the sex, adding in more character introspection and then maybe finish with Gerald going into the barn... but I'm a pornographer dammit. Hey, Harry's fucking his boss's willing son; if he wasn't happy it's a great way to be a disgruntled employee Apollo - Thank you also for your review. I get what you mean with the pacing, I find the 'several hours later' jump somewhat jarring myself. I'd put up it being probably my first consensual m/m scene in defence, but I doubt my second'd be much better. Can't believe I have done four flashfics in four weeks... Thank you for the inspiration!
  9. I think my problem with mcstories was probably like you say a lot of repetition, but one author there I think I first saw on the grey archive was TantricLegion who did some great corruption stories. I sometimes still nip back there today to re-read one or two bits! Sometimes a particular style or theme of writing’ll just keep drawing ya in Unintentional reference, but I can totally start claiming it was intentional :p Well, if it does work it’s cool and good luck, and if it doesn’t it’s a nice mental exercise!
  10. JayDee

    Injuries, illnesses, and etc!

    Compare and contrast!Ddescriptions of effects of various severities and treatments: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/burns-and-scalds/ (one small picture) vs https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/acid-and-chemical-burns/
  11. You! Thank you for this review also! It’s funny, when I did chapter one I just figured it would be a oneshot, deciding what direction to go later on I had to try and draw the earlier stuff together and have it make some kind of sense. Or failing that a joke or two. The year 2000? Was it on the old grey archive, or superstories or another one? There were some good old stories back in those days. I remember one I think called superheroine central? Had some free stories too from some talented authors. Could absolutely just keep you reading, though these days I bet I’d get too tried afore long. Thanks again! Kate definitely suffers some ill effects from the magic there and even more so when she gets out of the house – luckily she’s got good friends to help her through it. Shannon’s promise to herself that she’d get Kate out in that Christmas story worked “Sounds like a Yaoi overdose” was one of my favourite lines from it! If you got any ideas on it that would work absolutely feel free to go ahead and use it! I just had it as a throwaway cranky Lupa line. When you say forced into the role, is it kinda like that film Liar Liar where he had to tell the truth all the time, or one where they’d be forced to provide expositon on everything, maybe even stuff they didn’t know about like, “Yes your husband was late back last night. He’s got a goat fetish. Just been blowing them all up the field.” Or something else? Either way, thanks you again for the reviews! Has been fun revisiting this little story.
  12. JayDee

    Thundercloud's Review Responses

    I’m glad it was a quick fix! If I could face looking through my stories there’s probably a few there too. Oh, sure, deep inside! I saw that one, but it was ages ago so I mostly just have a vague idea they got a happy ending. No problem!
  13. JayDee

    InvidiaRed's review responses

    That’s what Uncle Joe always used to say!
  14. That review suggesting I reskinned another author’s story when theirs was posted a decade after mine bugged me a little. I mean, if I had a time machine I’d be using it to go back to the old west just like in Back to the Future 3, not stealing stories!

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. JayDee


      Be interesting to see what they do, but I suspect they probably won’t be too bothered, I mean check this out –

      Original garbage, really bad even in context, complete tell with zero show ffs just awful: “Although she’d never so much as blown a human before, Hermione excelled in oral pleasure.

      New and improved, showing the world the majesty of Bed Boyfriend: “Jennifer excelled in oral pleasure as she'd blown bed boyfriend multiple times.”

      I want Bed Boyfriend in my life!

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      So, who was Hermione blowing before she tried human?  Dobby?

    4. JayDee


      Kreacher. Dobby had a sock…

  15. JayDee

    JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Harry Potter)

    New review for Unleash the Beast Thanks for your review! I wasn’t aware of this, so, I googled and found what you’re seemingly referring to: https://www.cyoc.net/interactives/chapter_116731/branch_116731.html or this page – https://www.cyoc.net/interactives/chapter_150402/full.html Now since my story was uploaded to AFF in 2007 (last edited in 2008) and time, unlike a heavy creamy load of dog spunk blown inside a witch, doesn’t flow backwards, I’m sure what you meant was “There’s a reskin of this story in a choose your own change thread The user there didnt even change the dog's name.” Thanks for letting me know. ...edit – if you happen to be a member there, feel free to let ‘em know one of the users isn’t being entirely original with their writing!
  16. Ah. Yes. Harry Potter and the wotsit of wotsits. I think the most emails/comments etc etc I have ever had for me to write a sequel/more parts to any story I ever did was the one about Hermione getting busy with the neighbour's dog. Huh... Did another HP story for the turkey prompt, having been unable to think of anything for the bird or the country, so I am starting this thread with review replies for Wild Turkey: Thanks for your reviews and comments all of you! pittwitch: Funny's good. It's definitely a pairing that is hard to take seriously (well, unless you have a multichapter angst fest of building UST), so I think the summary alone would be enough to make a few people smile. I think if this story had a tagline, it would have to be a homage to the once popular posters they sold to students, "Wild Turkey - helping old witches have sex since 1996...." Fairy Slayer: I wasn't meaning to suggest Petunia took liberties, just that a few sherries had her acting intoxicatingly/talking bollocks. I can see how it gives that impression though, especially as PWPs tend to make the reader assume everybody is fucking everybody else. I figured assuming potion made sense, especially as love potions aren't unknown at Hogwarts, though hopefully they keep 'em away from that Felch Filch fellow. I wanted to include the - yes, admittedly obvious - pun with something about an "old bird" in there punning with Turkey. Probably for the best! Though as I say to pittwitch I think that there's just something inherantly funny in Harry/Minerva. I used to chuckle in the later Connery movies where he had 40-50 years on his love interest too, though. Harry's 16, he gets aroused by an older teacher, he's gotta justify it! Apollo : I only thought of the stuff because someone bought some back from America in the summer. I was really stumped for something with turkey until I recalled that Wild Turkey. Quite a challenging prompt this week. Glad you enjoyed it! Shadow Knight Another seeing the funny side! I can get where the ewwww comes from - if nothing else, there's always something slightly squicky about a teacher and a student, even if the student is over the age of consent (off topic - did JK ever give a wizard world age of consent, what with different laws and all? I know Scotland has 16, and America doesn't have a federal one, but with quite a few states - like Rhode Island - also at 16.). Immoral abuse of position and all that though. Very naughty. Especially without using one of those polyjuice potions to look like... uh, still naughty. I dunno, I think she's got class and grace and that counts for a lot! I smiled while writing the thing too!
  17. My own Jadis flashfic had no minors...but no sex either. Just piss and petrification. Which would make a good band name. I never actually got around to reading them, although having a vampire and a werewolf show up doesn’t exactly help my case. Shockingly, it is a genuine American name! See Starla the redneck in the movie Slither. “Who wants to try anal with me? You do? Bend over, nerd!” No worries, I know how busy folks get. Like I said to Invidia, If I didn’t have my reviews for the Sparrow/InBrighestday story already written months ago from IBD previewing it to me, I’d probably not have the time to give them as much feedback each week either (it’s a damn good story tho’!) I am looking forward to yours, hopefully tomorrow as I remembered I have a day off work!
  18. You! part 2! Thank you again for this review! Her stories are very compelling. You want to look away, but can’t, and before you know it you’re doing her evi bidding. There’s no truth to the rumour this was based on J K Rowling. He’s distracted by the game at the time with headphones and mic, and when he turns around he just thinks his Mom’s let a couple of folks in and they came through the door. With Sarsa grabbing his attention he doesn’t click that ‘you’ are a total stranger. ‘Starla’ is just the name of some girl who knows who cosplays, roughly Sarsa’s height, and he initially thinks Sarsa is her in prosthetics and make up. Sarsa’s really only pretending to be nice with him. Once she encountered him she realised she could use him to further her aims, and put her rage to one side, but once she had what he wanted he was probably going to suffer a very long, painful, and possibly pop culture ridden fate. He’d not die. Thanks again for the reviews!
  19. You! Thank youfor the review! She’s a great actress, playing ‘you’ like a fiddle and messing with your mind. And yeah, definitely a lack of reviews for folks sometimes Jadis is the heroine! She solved Narnia’s global warming crisis and stopped all those Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve from messing up the place. And that’s my story and I’m sticking to it because there’s a tree looking suspicously at me and some of them are on her side. Thanks again! Much appreciated the review. I’m super busy right now but will catch up on the new part of ‘From the Mirror Came’ as soon as I can
  20. Publicly shaming plagiarism isn’t needed it just feels really good.
  21. I’d settle for ‘em just letting George add new categories!
  22. Whore of Heaven – part 3 reviewed! Thank you for the comments on part 3 also! All done now – at least it’s short He’s upgrading Megaman style – beat someone, take abilities! Wipe out the body on Earth, he can reform back in Hell. Well, until someone binds him. The creator: “These assholes doing all the raping are why we can’t have nice things.” Possibly inspired by some human looking devils in things like Devil’s Advocate and End of Days, though I don’t really remember now. Gotta get those soul contracts signed Spoilerwise I genuinely didn’t think it revealed anything that wasn’t in InBrightestDay’s summary for The Woman in the Statue - It does spoil parts The Least I Could Do which InBrightestDay wrote based on the original ending. I totally accept the amended ending isn’t for everyone but I still kinda like it, and I am sorry it’s weakened your enthusiasm for InBrightestDay’s far superior story (that’s not me being self-deprecating, it really is awesome). As well as the ending, I made a few other changes to fit in better with the sequel (there was a suggestion that Luzurial was shorter originally, and I think InBrightestDay spotted some other internal continuity stuff!) so I’m gonna take it as a plus that only the ending felt mostly tacked on Technically the only story to read first might be the Zombie Mother story I wrote even before WoH, which explained how Eparlegna got his current body. I stuck a few call backs to it in, such as the reference to Eparlegna is keeping the head of his half-human body’s mother. Still taking the reviews as a big plus, as you liked the rest of it I am glad you’re glad you read it Thanks again!
  23. The trick is to find the site owner on the way to market, offer ‘em a handful of magic beans. There’s not a website owner in the world wouldn’t like their own beanstalk to the kingdom of the giants. Except maybe that Gadget Hackwrench fansite.
  24. Whore of Heaven – part 2 reviewed! Thank you for the second part review also! Even more appreciated. I feel like I kinda screwed up the human servants thing with Eparlegna’s bad-boss activity at the end of the third part. I now believe having him use them more would have made more sense – The Dracula/gypsy comparison is cool, how it should have gone for sure. Kinda wish I’d done more with Bernice too, hopeless last stand badassary is something I got a softsport for tho’ Those two bad cops! I started on a story with Molly’s sister one time, never did get it finished. Glad this bit was hot tho! Haha, nah I’m pretty sure the site had that as one of the earlier codes. S’been part of wholesome fnafiction content for years. Maybe :D. I read a consensual Harry Potter/Narcissa Malfoy scene a few years back that did it phenominally well, much better than I’d managed here. It doesn’t get answered in the story here, but I think the ultimate answer for them having the sex organs is “ Angels were supposed to fuck,” but there was a bit of a miscommunication along the way from the higher order angels who didn’t have sex organs (gonna burn yer bits off trying it with the Seraphim!) and the closer-to-mortal-sphere types who do. Thank you again for the reviews
  25. Whore of Heaven Thank you for the review! Appreciated as ever. Thanks! I wouldn’t be surprised if it was in an anime somewhere Monsters as embodiment of sins is a real old concept, but I guess most sources don’t try and smut it up. InBrightestDay did some really outstanding takes on it in The Woman in the Statue. The Sloth monster there is probably the one I’d have to face. Seems like good sense to me! Again, I think it’s an older idea of light and dark versions fighting each other so I can’t take the credit for it, but I can for deciding to throw it in! Not quite Chekhovian foreshadowing there! I think the bad guy probably also likes pillars because they’re vaguely phallic. Thanks! It gets a little sleazy! Sleazier. Thank you again for the review.