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InBrightestDay last won the day on February 3

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About InBrightestDay

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  1. Ok, so last time the news was nerve-wracking, but I’m happy to report that things have improved substantially.  My little brother is fine (his symptoms never got worse than the mild ones I described last time), and my middle brother’s wife has tested negative several times now, so it seems she was never infected.

    Still sort of nervous about my aunt, but that’s two out of three COVID-related things that have turned out well so far.

    With all that in mind, I have some reviews to catch up on.  I know Invidia  has started reading Mortuus Orbis, and of course JayDee has left reviews of every chapter, and @Sinfulwolf has left three wonderful reviews on the finale of WitS, so over the next few days I’ll endeavor to respond to all of those.

    As for what’s coming up next, I have at least two things to work on in the near future.  Both of them are science fiction stories tied to another work, one that’s not on AFF and I don’t really want to describe here.

    Suffice it to say I make weird friends for who I am.  Then again the first friend I made here was JayDee so maybe not that weird. :D

    In the case of the longer one, my co-writer has asked if she could just start writing, so I have to make an effort to keep pace lest I be left behind (as well as work out precisely which of us will be writing what scenes).  I know Sparrow may be concerned at the moment, but I don’t quite know what the co-writing process with her will be like, so it may not eat up as much time as one might fear, and after the weekend, I will endeavor to be on Discord more often.

    I have another idea for a story called Below, but that doesn’t have anybody waiting for it, so it can be placed on hold until other things get done.

    Bringing it all back to the beginning of this post, thank you to everyone who wished my family well and offered prayers and support.  You have no idea how much I appreciated all of that. :wub:

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. InvidiaRed
    3. Sparrow



      I mean, it’s not like I Google searched “how tall is Lady Dimitrescu?” or anything.

      Really brings new meaning to the phrase ‘climb her like a tree’. You’d need a ladder to have sex with her.

    4. JayDee


      I want to know about a mechanics of a 6’9 character 69ing with a 9’6 character.

  2. Haven’t been by here in a bit, and I noticed @JayDee and @Sparrow discussing my absence.  I figured I’d give a bit of info on what’s going on.  JayDee mentioned work, and that’s part of it, but there’s a little added stress as well.

    COVID-19 has begun working its way through my social circle.  Among other things, my youngest brother tested positive a few days ago, and his girlfriend lives with him, so it’s no surprise that she’s got it now too.  I just learned about his girlfriend, so I haven’t spoken with her yet, but I did have time to call my little brother, and he’s what I suppose you could describe as “mildly symptomatic”: no serious problems with breathing, but he’s congested and running a fever, so I’m somewhat nervous.

    One of my cousins has tested positive as well, and the disease is making its way through her family (my aunt is doing her best to isolate herself, but it’s difficult since she lives with them).  In addition my middle brother’s wife was exposed today, so we’ll have to wait and see whether she’s infected or not.

    Everything seems ok so far, but I’d be lying if I said this didn’t stress me at all.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. JayDee


      Shit, super sorry to hear about this. I hope they’re all ok. It’s a right bastard of a virus this one. I really do hope things work out ok.

    3. Sparrow


      My heart goes out to you, man. Sorry to hear that’s happening. Stay safe.

    4. Sinfulwolf


      Fuck, as others have said, stay safe, and hopefully they all get better soon. Keep yer chin up, though it may be hard in times like this.

  3. InBrightestDay

    AFF Holiday Party 2020 -- Review Responses

    In case anyone else is feeling left out, I did also leave reviews for @JayDee and @InvidiaRed’s stories. It just took me longer to get JayDee’s done, because I fell asleep.
  4. InBrightestDay

    AFF Holiday Party 2020

    If you’re waiting on me, you should probably go ahead. I spent a while thinking about this, trying to write Meaningful Gifts, and eventually came to a decision...and by eventually I mean earlier today. Meaningful Gifts began as a story called Cold Comfort (which itself was based on a heart-crushingly sad story on Literotica that I wanted to do a happier version of). Then, while I was coming up with the idea of MG, Halloween happened, and I had an idea for a story that was very similar to MG, but took place at and after a Halloween party, this one called For One Night Only. I had assumed I would never write Cold Comfort, and would only use the ideas for Meaningful Gifts, but the more time I spent trying and failing to keep MG distinct from For One Night Only, the more I began to think it might be better to merge the elements I liked from one of those into the other. End result: Meaningful Gifts is not going up. Instead, the elements of the relationship I really like will, I think, be absorbed into For One Night Only, which will go up on Halloween. In addition, there is a good possibility that I will eventually end up writing Cold Comfort after all, though I don’t plan that to be a Holiday Party release. I’m really sorry for anyone I’ve disappointed here. I know my promise to write MG was part of what caused this party to happen.
  5. InBrightestDay

    Mortuus Orbis

    AAAAAH! You noticed it before I did! Well, uh...thank you for doing the job I was too incompetent to do!
  6. InBrightestDay

    AFF Holiday Party

    Just a quick update here. A lot is happening around my house, including trying to write something else as kind of a surprise for someone, and just feeling like I’m being crushed by work, so in spite of the fact that it takes place on Christmas, Meaningful Gifts is probably going to be up on or around New Year’s instead. I’m really sorry about this, but then again I feel like the same thing happened with Moonlit Snow, so evidently this is just a thing that happens with my holiday stories.
  7. InBrightestDay

    Mortuus Orbis

    One day late to mention this, but Chapter 5 is up!
  8. InBrightestDay

    AFF Holiday Party

    If you just mean you need someone to proofread, I can do that.
  9. InBrightestDay

    AFF Holiday Party

    Aw, I liked Memories. True, it requires some prior reading, hence why some folks didn’t “get” it, but I thought it was a really sweet story, and I don’t think you should feel bad about it.
  10. InBrightestDay

    AFF Holiday Party

    I think one of the problems here is that nobody knew if there was going to be a party until you posted that question. As a result, at least one story that would have been a chapter in the party, Invidia’s Winter Blessing, ended up being posted as a standalone story instead. I’m having issues with the internet at my house (I’m typing this on my phone; for those wondering, this is why I haven’t responded to reviews or PMs, and why I haven’t reviewed Winter Blessing yet), but those issues should be resolved soon. I will begin work on Meaningful Gifts and keep an eye on this thread. If no one else responds, I’ll likely stop writing that and work on something else, but if there are other replies, I will do my best to have it done by Christmas Day.
  11. InBrightestDay

    Mortuus Orbis

    Late again (dang it!) but Chapter 4 is up. We get to know some more characters and begin planting the seeds of what’s to come.
  12. InBrightestDay

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    AAAAAAAAAAAUUUGH! Well, I had written quite a lot here, and then went to open another tab to check something, and in the process accidentally clicked the little x at the top of this one, closing it, and while AFF sometimes saves what I’m writing, this time it didn’t. *sigh* Alright, let me try and recreate all of it. First off, I’m obviously way behind on getting involved in this thread, and that has to do with work. I got back from Thanksgiving vacation, and then was promptly scheduled to work seven days in a row. I thought I’d have time on Tuesday, but my little brother decided to come into town for Christmas early, so my mom had me helping her get a bedroom ready for him, moving furniture with her, running down to Goodwill to drop stuff off and basically spending the day running errands, and then it was back to work Wednesday, but I’m here now! I don’t have any fascinating behind the scenes details to share about the creation of Chapter 2, as while I was heavily involved in re-writing a lot of the early parts of the story, this is the one chapter where I didn’t do that; not one word of that is mine. Of course, since I didn’t do! I really like the concept of what @Sparrow calls the eyrie (after the term for the nest of a large bird of prey). In the story that inspired this one, I don’t think the hell flyers had any sort of communal sleeping area, but this is an idea I’ve seen in movies and pulp adventure stories going way back: the place the monster puts someone it’s not ready to eat yet. This is also where we first meet Cindy, and this was yet another character I’d never heard of before (it’s funny, because character-wise this story contains a mix of “Oh yeah, I know them” and “who the hell…?”). I seem to recall she’s from something Sparrow wasn’t super fond of; I think he said she was the only really good thing to come out of that story arc or something. I really like her interactions with Chun-Li, especially Highlight of the chapter is still Chun-Li strangling the hell flyer through the bars of her “cell”. Something I didn’t quite realize was going on when I read Chapter 1 and saw Chun-Li hit the thing with a kikoken was that Sparrow was giving it a distinguishing feature. By injuring it in a specific way, he made sure we could tell that one apart so we can see Chun-Li get some very satisfying payback here. And yeah, also guilty of confusing Marvel’s Spinneret with the webcomic Spinnerette. I’d never even read the webcomic, merely knowing about it through TV Tropes, but it was enough to cause a mixup. Sparrow found me an online version of the comic that showed how we got the Spinneret that appears here (no spoilers, so I can’t discuss more), and I was actually rather pleased to find out there was a universe where One More Day had never happened. Always a good thing. I freaking loved JayDee’s summary of the moment I asked that question, by the way. It turned into a cool WitS moment, though, so it all worked out! To be fair, I’m blanking on other candidates for this myself, and as for keeping Harry from being too OP, we did have a readily available out. I won’t spoil anything for anyone who doesn’t know about the source material for this story, but you may have noticed that while magic works in the Necropolis, it’s getting nerfed somewhat. That nerfing is variable, but not random, and results in a lot of magic-based characters being significantly weaker than they ought to be (this will come up again in, I think, Chapter 8 or 9). I did get somewhat more involved here, writing some of the new stuff inthe action scene involving Harry. Originally, as mentioned, he would have had his natural magic, but no training, so he couldn’t really fight. When he gained five years worth of Hogwarts schooling, he obviously gained the ability to participate, so I put in some stuff about him hitting zombies with the disarming spell, which isn’t the best thing for actually hurting them, but expelliarmus is kind of his signature move, and I don’t know if he’d learned enough to throw an incendio at any of them (also that might have just resulted in flaming zombies, sending things from bad to worse). The other two characters, Black Widow and April, are doing pretty much the same stuff as Sparrow originally wrote for them. I can’t wait to discuss this, and my initial reaction to it, when it actually happens. I mean “Baby Got Back” isn’t that...*Googles*...1992. Holy shit, that’s 28 years ago. Man, now I feel old. Also, Damn it, JayDee! Now that’s stuck in my head. I...I can speak no more of this here. As for why the character in the next chapter doesn’t provide the Terminator line, I always assumed the line’s use here was intended as foreshadowing. Regarding the next chapter itself, I personally like it, though I do know things slow down for some scene-setting. I’ll talk about it more when we get there.
  13. InBrightestDay

    Mortuus Orbis

    Late on this (to the point that JayDee already left a review!) but Chapter 3 is up.
  14. InBrightestDay

    Mortuus Orbis

    Chapter 2 is up!
  15. InBrightestDay

    InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread

    Alright, I have a review for another story to write today, but I must leave soon, and I’m not entirely sure what the internet situation will be like. The review I can do on my phone, though it’ll take quite a while, but this will be easier to do here now, so with that in mind, reviewing another story being a thing done later today or tonight, for now let me finally address @Thundercloud’s review for the final chapter of The Woman in the Statue. About the action scene, believe it or not, I kind of figured that would be what happened, at least to some extent. If I do any future stories with Luzurial, I can go into more detail with how her powers work and hopefully establish more of an idea of just how much energy any given attack consumes, but with this setup (the fact that she’s in a weakened state for most of the story and can barely use any of her powers), the only one we knew about was divine fire, which uses 100% of Luzurial’s power, and then it very sklowly comes back. Aside from that, I couldn’t think of a good way to establish how the system worked without slowing down the action. I’m not saying there wasn’t a good way, mind you; I just didn’t think of it. I also knew right off the bat that I needed to keep this phase of the fighting shorter than the others...because it’s just fighting. It’s one of the things you get away with far more easily on film than you do in prose. In a movie or other visual medium, Eparlegna and Luzurial duking it out at full power is something I could show on screen in ten or fifteen seconds, but those seconds take a lot of descriptive text (the old saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words” is very true when you’re trying to describe something visually), and the longer that text went on the more it would start to drag. To that end, I did my best to cut it down, just having a few flashy attacks from Eparlegna (the tentacles and the red lightning) and then move into the character-based part of the fight with Luzurial’s interaction with the mortals, as you noted. Thank you! Milyn is sort of from someone else’s story (I’ve updated the Author’s Note to point that out, because I stupidly forgot about it at the time of posting ). TimeWise has shown up on this thread before for reviews, and the whole reason for that was my asking if I could create my own version of the character. Since Conversion, her story of origin, is a fantasy story set in a completely different world, so I had to find a real-world religion she would fit into. I looked at her name, and one source indicated that it might be based on the Slavic element milu, meaning “gracious” or “dear”, and built on that, thinking she might be Eastern Orthodox, and finally went with Serbian Orthodox and settled on Belgrade as the city where she was born. Her personality in her original story fit perfectly with what I wanted to do here, as she has a low opinion of herself but is clearly a rather unreliable narrator due to low self-esteem, and that fit with the idea that people have caught on that champions exist, but still haven’t quite figured out who they are. Thank you! JayDee had made a point during Whore of Heaven that God had fully trusted humanity to deal with Eparlegna on their own. Now, due to the focus on Luzurial as a character and her recovery from her trauma, I couldn’t not have her do that, but I really wanted to show that after 75 years of prep, humans are dangerous now, even to Eparlegna. It’s also a bit of character illustration for Eparlegna. He’s very calm and composed when things are going his way, as they are during WoH, but when things don’t go his way, he’s a very sore loser, and he will destroy the game before he will accept losing it. That scene was one I wrote even before I had finished the rest of the story, so JayDee had an advance preview. At the time I was just calling it “The Punishment of Eparlegna”, after the interlude in The Slumber Party of Evil Doom. I’ve always loved scenes where we get introduced to a really serious villain, and they’re more calm and quiet and all the more menacing for it. Thank you for following me all the way to the end here. I do indeed have more stories planned, and I hope you’ll enjoy them as well!