JayDee

“Fight me! Fight me!” “Can’t we just snuggle?” “Goddamn it!” She’s totally doing the opposite of what he wants – he wants them unwilling to fuck, but willing to fight! I wonder if that really was intentional on DS’s part – taking into account what happened with his target refusing to fight and working with it for getting his planned hunt to go to plan – or if it just seems that way looking at his psychology? She’s a cool character! Also, I think I probably just thought that that was really fitting – she would absolutely have done that for B.B. I think. The Reserve angels also got that mission done out in Kazakhstan – very nice! There’s no such thing as overly critical when it comes to this stuff. Better to have it brutal and unvarnished – believe me, I have some very negative comments on re-reading it myself. I can see why you came back to read it after seeing what DS went on to do with the character – based on the lack of reviews very few others ever bother! They probably prefer the crueller pred with greater variety of settings version that DS does (plus, you know, him being thousands of times better at writing than me!) Thanks again for all the reviews. Really, genuinely, hugely appreciated. I look forward to seeing whatever you finish and publish next, while especially looking forward to the final words of WitS when you have the motivation, and the words. S’gonna be badass!

I never knew it was a Metroid story! Just, talking about Gogedheh’s name reminded me of DS’s pred and that old camel toe joke I made, no idea the whole thing was the same thing so genuine coincidence. I am genuinely sorry to have upset ya and brought back bad memories. Probably best ya don’t go and finish reading it. Sounds like it isn’t your bag. Still can’t think myself. I guess really she is just a bit of generic goth DS bait! No, no it’s fully fair. He’s not even limping afterwards! Heh, at least it *might* happen. It’s never gonna come from me! Hell if I can remember! I tend to forget playing it, but I did play the AvP game from the late 90s not long after it came out. Running around as an alien was all kinds of fun, even without the violence. And moving onto the last review, for which I again thank you kindly. You’re an officer and a gentleman. No apologies required! I am grateful to get the reviews you’ve done. It’s got me to re-read the story, and cringe, and think about it as well as always being great to get feedback. I would probably not separate out the short prologue/epilogue and shorter interlude parts into seperate chapters these days, instead keeping them at start or end of other chapters. I can’t even remember why it seemed like a good idea at the time – possibly related to some other place I was submitting the original version to. “I just did these two together.” Shannon explained, nodding at the petite twins. Haha! It’s a lab in a secure facility that they let Lara work in! There’s worse off the other hallways! Also, it isn’t Weyland bioweapons if there isn’t a gratuitous lack of respect for the safety of employees or civillians! I think I came up with a bunch of backstory and “what happened next” ideas for the snake at one point. Sonya getting eaten by the snake was me tossing in an obscure Mortal Kombat reference – Antother character, Shang Tsung, had a snake ‘animality’, eating another character. None of the other stuff that happens to her is an MK ref I don’t think! (what happens to Jax’s arms is also a crack at him getting the cyborg arms in games!) Found a clip of the animality – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o8UWU1BFeM But yeah, she gets a whole buncha undeserved shit in a Gogedheh story and absolutely zero percent of it is from him. I dunno why it turned out like that – I think I made made it up to her in Shokan Lust with all the pheremone lust enhanced orgasms from her seven foot tall captor/mistress! Talking about the snake eating thing, the person who requested the shokan story said “ I think it would've been funny/ironic if not only did she survive, but the predator actually gave her some medicine for her bruising, because he would've already seen her as being beaten and thus not one of his targets anymore.” So if you want to imagine him handing over some medical gear and giving her a chummy pat on the head, that’s cool! Hey thanks! It was definitely intended to be somewhat amusing - I think I said before I thought it might be the only properly funny bit in the story. Technically, she doesn't obtain his consent before going for his junk, so this could count as one of the few occasions where someone sexually assaults him. And, yeah, having the 'joke' character come very close to killing him was definitely part of my original idea I'm sure. Then again, at one point I nearly had Sonya take them both out with the same bullet. Would have led to DS having a whole different name for his character! (continued below, not letting me quote!)

I absolutely think that is probably why it didn’t throw me out for this story, because it super common! And you’re welcome! I read it so reviewed it

It’s entirely possible! There’s been a few cases where people have liked something I did enough to request something else based on it and just didn’t tell me or leave a review – when I was over on hentai-foundry some dude commissioned fanart of one of my Harry Potter stories and I only found out because when the artist posted it he mentioned what he’d been asked to base it on and suddenly I got a handful of extra reviews. Huh, coincidence! I don’t think I got to read the story with him, I remember DS talking about the character name he was going to use but I think DS must have published it after I’d quit there and he’d quit AFF. Fair enough! – I wonder if it is an oversight, like, DS remembering Lara was in the first story and maybe not remembering she’d already had her ultimately-fatal facehugger encounter before the pred got there? With a guy like DS writing him it is certain! Artist has some talent for sure. Now on to @InBrightestDay ‘s review for part 7! Having just re-read it myself my own biggest question is where did I get the sentry from that he knocks out? Is she a reference to a specific game or book or movie I can’t recall, or just a random? If she is a reference, why doesn’t it seem to be covered in the disclaimer (the current disclaimer was written on the AFF edit, so I may have missed it then, but could update now if I did work it out. Honestly, I might just have thrown it in because DS likes seeing goths) Also, another example of earlier slightly-less-of-a-total-monster Gogedheh here as he only disables the unarmed sentry rather than murderin’ ‘em like he probably would in later years. Thanks for the reivew on this chapter also! Given the issues and flashbacks it seemingly caused you I feel bad you had to go through that stuff again and extra appreciate you making the effort! As I mentioned above it is entirely possible that the requesting user did request some of the same points, but also possible that this chapter riffed off something else entirely that the requester was also riffing off. Parallel riffing! DS would probably know for sure. something something Alien: Isolation joke something something Have you ever considered writing this? I mean, not only is Alien vs. Predator vs. Pirate a hilarious title, but the description of what Laura pulls off at the end there is incredibly cinematic and cool. Throw in a colorful cast of pirate crew members, the Anne Bonny-inspired story of Laura hiding her gender to get the crew to listen to her...this could be really awesome. I haven’t! Thanks for thinking it sounded cool and cinematic though! AvPvP does have a pretty funny ring, too, nice one!. Weirdly I wrote a chunk of pirate related stuff recently for that Sarsa story I haven’t finished (...needing to fit the Xebec prompt in) but never considered doing a full take on this background myself. Given how little I am managing for longer format at the moment I can’t see it happening, but given how well you can write action scenes and plots and the rest feel free to do it yourself if you ever want to! Just imagine… she’s tall, which helped her pass for a man, and needing to strap down that well developed cleavage, oh, hey, there’s that cabin boy she got from a raided ship, about 16, well educated and being sent into colonial exile by his cruel father for standing up to the old man, instead he ends up in service to the wild pirate captain… service that takes on a more romantic element when he accidentallly discovers her true gender… I mean, he probably gets killed by an alien or Predator at some point, giving her even more impetus to stay behind and make sure the devil doesn’t return… Probably for the best Haha, the one time I try and base something squarely in film canon and it just doesn’t come across as realistic He’s kind of getting more and more beat up by this stage, with his existing wounds and damage getting a bit of a run down, but yeah, probably should have been a bit more crippled. I guess I was thinking about how many pistol shots Lara needed to slow enemies in the first Tomb Raider game, then assuming he was much tougher, but having the bullets stuck in him probably should have done more for sure. Looking after you from cradle to grave! Well, someone’s grave. Absolutely intended as an ancestor of Carter, and basically coming across as equally reasonable to Lara as Carter did to Ellen, without Lara getting to find out if she’s got a bad side to her. Eh, it wasn’t his home universe so fuck ‘em! I kid, I kid! Given that the Weyland Corporation won't get wind of the Engineers for another 83 years and thus don't know a thing about xenomorphs or the black mutagen yet, I have no idea what this is. What is this? This… is hungry! Thank you once again for reviewing! Only one more main part and a short epilogue to go now. The end is in sight!

@InBrightestDay looks at part 6! Random note on this part – originally Sonya Blade was just described as a special forces soldier for MK publicity so she’s described as a soldier here. Later games made her a veteran Marine who wouldn’t be described as a soldier. Oh, and the user who got me to write Shokan Lust once started on an alternate follow on from this that crossed over with The Dresden Files and had the Queen of the Unseelie Court kill the driver and invite Sonya on a hunt… Never got finished, but woulda been interesting to see! No arguements here! Though having Charlie from Long Kiss Goodnight spot her shaodowing agent and beat him up was a high point for me. Hollywood exec, snorting a huge line of coke: “Get roles for Nic Cage, Christopher Walken and Lady Gaga and you’ve got a movie!” Jax is definitely a little bit out of character here. Just a smidge. Hey, the roughtest to read part in a Gogedheh story doesn’t even feature him! It’s the kooky chick from clueless doing the cruel shit! That’s kinda funny… no, just me then? Thanks for plowing through it with your thoughts. I appreciate them and totally get why there isn’t any fun to be had here.

I guess if it comes on when I’m around I’ll look out for it. Always been a bit of a Lance fan. One of his lines in Near Dark was one of my all time faves for delivery: Bartender: What you people want? Jesse (Lance’s character): Just a couple more minutes of your time, about the same duration as the rest of your life. But, you know, delivered by him. Pretty sure if we held a vote there’d be a lot in favor of seeing your great take on Celtic pred Gotta wonder if ‘Chopper’ gets a different reason for the name in porn fics, mind. As much as I enjoy and am entertained by your comic mock-indigation, if there’s a depression risk point feel free to skip any of it that might cause that and avoid risking it! I doubt anybody’s copied me, even sort of – more likely someone got inspired by whatever inspired me! – but although a couple people have reposted my stories under their names, most don’t stoop as low as my shit when there’s better authors to nick from. Yeah, I saw that. I bet I did it intentionally too, but can’t recall now! Rehte Gog – the civil war era cousin of Gog and Magog! I don’t even know if it counts as a pun since it’s more a drunkenly surred version of the phrase than proper wordplay Inspired by his name, I remember DS came up with a Pred called Dehscrimung, but didn’t say what it was meant to read as initially – ‘Die Screaming’ he said later – so I asked if it was meant to be “Descry” and “Mung” meaning ‘to see a bean’ and asked “Does he only hunt characters with extreme camel toes?” I bet even DS regrets having him take that non-executive directorship at Tesla. Dang it! Not even the worst wrong word in my reply – that was writing “call” instead of “cool”. ‘the fuck do I become illiterate when writing forum posts? I mean, more so. Hahaha! Maybe she’s got a fetish for the dude from Shrek! We don’t know! Well, maybe one day you’ll write a story where you need a dangerous hyper sexual psycho building from the pysche of a decent human and at the back of your mind Greensleeves will start playing… and she’ll have found you. She’s got tall energy. Like, she’s shorter than me but I feel like if I was in the same room she’d feel taller. Yay! Read this after the Lara part: I think I had the Terminator 2 quote for something in my original accidentally lost reply, and didn’t write the replacement quite the same so uh oops. As for Samus vs Predator, Fanart’s got ya covered! (safe for work) https://www.deviantart.com/ptimm/art/Samus-vs-Predator-1-564990285 https://www.deviantart.com/ptimm/art/Samus-vs-Predator-2-565128547 You’re also welcome!

...I just spent ages writing this reply and then lost it thanks to accidentally closing the tab. Take two, everyone to position and action! Thank you @InBrightestDay for reading and reviewing parts 4 and 5 of this story! I genuinely appreciate the heck out of your taking this time to go through this mess. ...the first time this chapter made me laugh. I can't say why that specific detail made me laaugh, but it did. “Like, awesome!” she whispered, as the sweat soaked Japanese woman shuddered through another forced climax. Second time it made me laugh. Whoohoo! Always awesome making folks laugh! Imagine being the poor bastard who has to make those dildo moulds. You’re having a quiet day and suddenly a crazy government type has a special order. The agent’s a very sick woman. She wasn’t born with it, it was maybelline. Jane Maybelline, Black Ops brainwashing specialist and folk musician. Pray you never hear her mandolin. Giggity approved joke, Tricia complied. Sometimes fanfic can’t help but be in character, and that guy is straight up a rapist! Who else but Quagmire? Hey, any comments are good! Always great to get feedback and like I say it’s cool you found stuff to laugh over! At some point someone’ll look at this and go “Concrete doesn’t work that way” and “chemical burns, severe fuckin’ chemical burns” maybe. I dunno if this was especially meant to be hot, being so short, or just introducing the agent and her twisted ways. Wasn’t Tricia in the original either! Finding out she was pregnant was her motivation for leaving Bill, leading to the massacre and her coma. She finds out her daughter survived – presumably c-section – and left with her at the end of the second film. I like to think they had a long/happy life and that other options such as Vernita’s daughter taking revenge, or BB secretly being really angry that her Mom, who had been in a coma all her life, came and killed her Dad, and takes her own revenge… That was the post credits stinger. I kid, I kid! but I think of anyone could take a Pred out, she could, and although his targets were a bit limied by the selection of badasses needing to all be in roughly the same geographic location – no multiverse hopping for this slaughter bunny!- it I think I probably thought at least one of them would likely have encountered a Pred in this universe where they’re hunting on Earth, and must have selected her for it. I’d forgotten that was even in there until re-reading it! Heh, I get it, 'cause it's two Italian brothers like the Mario brothers and...anyway. It's a funny little reference, but moving on... I’m trying to remember if giving them the surname Toscano had any reference to anything. It’s got a definite echo of a minor Preacher comic character, but his name was Toscani. Then again, Toscano does mean Tuscany… eh, I dunno. I bet those mushrooms were well fed though. Apparantly some folks find something inherantly call about tall blonde badasses kicking ass. Thank you especially for the compliment on the description! Glad it worked out. Can’t imagine being caught in the middle of that shitshow would have been any fun for the guards. Death above and below… but at least Kiddo was happy for ‘em to run away if they didn’t mess with her. Shame they messed with her really. *laughing* Wow, they're actually named Maario and Luigi, and there's a reference to their cousin, Big W. Unfortunately, their princess was in another cas...wait. The bodyguard Daisy backed away. The other bodyguard's not... She was mine, bitch! She… she was my peach! Earlier... Kiddo vaguely recognised them; called themselves The Ninja Princesses or some tacky western shit. *shakes fist at the sky* JAAAAYDEEEEE!!! Hahaha, thanks! The story really earned that super mario brothers mention in the disclaimer at the start of part 1! You know, blowing my own trumpet here but I think that anguished she was my peach! line really works. eh. It’s probably not the first time some kiddo has got Peach killed. Like one playing a game. Super Mario Bros 2 on the NES I’m looking at you, you reskinned fuck. Yeah, sure, cut out the floating just above the deadly drop you piece a shit. Huh. 30 years and still some annoyance. Well, pretty sure Pringles were never used like that in any of the other stories. DS has much better taste in snack foods! I dunno where the fuck using that like that came from either. I mean, these guys are Italian-Americans. There wasn’t some Italian sausage around? Mario’s severed forearm? Narcissistic traits? Check! Villain Sue traits! No wonder this got trashed on that fanfiction mockery forum. No, I think you’re absolutely right. I mean, by this stage in the story he’s taken down three bad asses and a load of mushroom kingdom private security and getting more and more full of himself – which presumably increased as he kept going after Laras. It really isn’t the only time a tall blonde comes close to defeating him either- Samus sure did in that one of DS’s stories I mentioned to you that I think set you off down the DS fic rabbit hole! If it hadn’t been for the darned canonically impossible EMP… “Are we learning yet?” Ahem. Thank you once again for the reviews. Abolutely enjoyed the heck out of reading them, and that JAAAAYDEEEEE!!! bit had me laughing out loud!

Omnipotence paradox: “Could the rape deity jerk off hard enough to detach his own cock?” Got a sticky pp eh? Yeppers. It was all Phantom’s responsibility! Cher seemed like a good equally unlikely replacement. Eparlegna: “Can’t it be both? It’s even more fun when I’m mad. Unless that wingless’s bitch’s meat dildo keeps making cracks about Lucifer being better.” I never saw AVP! I didn’t know they had a celtic predator – does he have a kilt and carry bag pipes on his hunts? Or maybe just didn’t want ‘em to get kicked to often! That could have been a funny running gag – he gets whalloped in the balls on every hunt, but the guy hasn’t got any outside! I don’t mind describing balls – alla my futa fics have been the coin purse variety rather than the card slot, and in that one M/M/Transwoman fic I wrote everyone had balls. Unless they’re gonna pull the CGI/LOTR hobbit route or forced perspective/standing on crates Tom Cruise route I guess the films were always gonna be limited by actual human actor height. Yeah, you’re probably right! Still, if something does blindside ya… sorry ‘bout that I really appreciate the reviews and the feedback discussion even all these years later, and now on to the part 3 review! Part 3, which has that Joey from Friends casting gag near the start, The angels were deep in conversation about Alex’s actor boyfriend, who Dylan was convinced was the lost twin of another actor she’d met and fucked in New York City. Thanks again for the review! I think with the first chapter I was mostly getting a feel for the story and the big guy’s actions and it simply is the shortest/most basic of them as a result. Natalie does kick some ass there, but when he ankle’s done thats about it. I can totally see how it’s a little sadder than the last part. Might even be the saddest, if you discount Beatrix being a Mom or Sonya’s unrewarded dedication to duty. So no SCAO oneshot? :p I mean, these are angels… I kid I kid! Huh. Well. Huh. I mean, if you’ve got a scientific answer for it that makes the story fit in with the film then I pretty much have to accept it ‘cos you know science and the physics of these things! I’ve been telling folks how I fucked up that scene badly for years after that previous review (which may have been on hentai-foundry?) and now it turns out that the movie Predator had himself some conducting taking care of it! Hey, I feel better! Thank you! The image of the Predator crouched in the metal girders of a building, hidden in the urban environment, just seems cool, like it would be right at home in one of the movies. Stealth hunting Predator doin’ some steal hunting! Hell, it probably is my way of describing the way the guy in the second movie spends a lot of time up top checking things out, waiting for Natalie to be on her own so the minimum number of non-warriors get in the way. This was his early “basically decent for a murderous rapist” days The mercy kill he performs on Alex is a show of empathy, which pops up again in Multiverse Trophies where, when his plasmacaster (apparently acting on its own) kills Sam and Reboot Lara cries out in grief, he slashes her throat, killing her without finishing raping her. When he gets back to his ship, he actually berates himself for that, and never does it again. It's interesting to look at this in terms of the character evolving and, over multiple stories, purging himself of these emotions. I bet DS didn’t remember them here at all, and came up with it independently – must have been years since he glanced at the original story before writing the new one and shaped charges aren’t totally uncommon Second point tho’ yeah, again early Gogedheh (‘Go Get Her’ at least isn’t a silly backwards name while still being terrible...) still having some delusions of conscience or morality. And maybe a smidge of remorse. Later on as the requests demanded it he becomes even harder and less capable of human empathy than that weird biped tutle who runs the Senate for the Republicans. From what I remember DS did a pretty good job of getting the continuity in his stories to work internally even with different request demands. Thank you again! It’s really interesting to hear thoughts on the story and I’ve re-read part 2 myself to get it back in my mind and, yeah, not sure how many folks managed to get through this thing…

Five Women. One Night. [AFF Edit Edition] 18584 hits and before the most recent reviews, 4 reviews! A story that at least partly inspired a series of sequels to be requested of the legendary author Deathstalker, a genius of the written word. This one, on the other hand is, uh, well, JayDee quality. Still, it seems that after reading DS’s epics one bold reviewer has waxed curious over the origin of the Villain Sue OC and let this curiousity overcome common sense. Hence, Thank you for the reviews! I am genuinely appreciative and grateful to get some feedback on this ancient thing. I personally hope that having been through alla the stories you finally decide to do your own Samus vs Predator work, because that outline you had sounded really badass. I fear you will be hugely disappointed given that Deathstalker is a really good writer capable of infusing true emotion and characterization and I was even more of a talently hack over a decade ago. For anybody else reading this and curious, this post over on the Great Wall promo’d the other site ref’d – http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/20643-the-depravity-repository/?tab=comments#comment-226004 So this is all his fault! Or hers! This was the original request in case you’re curious and I’ve PM’d you the whole thread if you want to know more [/Starship Troopers] Needless to say I went the fictional character rather than celebrity route. Well, mostly. There was on big exception that may now be explained. And the AFF edit edition cleared out the exception. So moving on before people remember I once did celeb stories. Well, maybe not that humble. god of rape? Well, there’s an idea for a story- Gogedheh vs Eparlegna in the “Great British Raping Show” “This one’s got a soggy bottom” “Oh, lot of cream on those buns.” “Tarts” etc etc No, but I guess if you’re gonna have a total villain sue effortlessly beating canon characters who, in many cases, would easily destroy him without a thought you might as well go full retard with it. Which is what I did. His descriptions sound like his Mom wrote them. I ju-wha? *laughs* Damn it, man, I was not ready for that! Hey, Clueless was an absolute classic film! Clueless vs Predator woulda been a better film than Prometheus. Thanks again for this review. *Googles Vivian Ward* Damn it, JayDee... Actually, I might be adjusting to the insanity here, at least to an extent. The idea of Julia Roberts as a ruthless crime lord is hilarious. Thanks! There’s actually a few little references like that tossed in to each chapter. I think my favorite – to the extent I can still remember it today! – is a one paragraph throwaway reference to The Long Kiss Goodnight in one of the chapters. I totally think Julia has the acting chops to do crimelord, but in another way that line is a little sweet – I mean, at least her character’s marriage worked out after Pretty Woman! I think some of those traditions are totally from the films. Well, not the uterus one. But I could swear someone gets a wrist broken at least once, and the play back taunting is definitely a film trope. I guess it’s a thing in fanfiction to take the film stuff and use it in different, entirely perverse ways. Cool to think that DS got his own spin on ‘em later though. I guess it’s a little bit of ongoing characterisation – though I remember that with DS’s there had to be some character elasticity to fit in with the requester’s wishes. Such as his developing a desire to keep going after Lara Crofts like some kind of gotta catch ‘em all pokemon hunt. ...the nature of the codpiece. Here, Gogedheh is wearing a pretty normal codpiece. In the later stories it's an armored codpiece which, in case you haven't Googled it, looks freaking hilarious. I think I just wanted to go for something he could tug aside easily or possibly had a look at the film outfit and went for something close to that. Kind of a porn pouch thing. No doubt some unpleasant kicks and/or punches led to DS having him adopt the greater protection. Or possibly he looked at some metal codpieces and spent as much time laughing as you :D Eight and a half feet? The Jungle Hunter and City Hunter were both about 7'3" (played by the 7'2" Kevin Peter Hall, and it's safe to assume the makeup adds another inch). You know, I've been building a psychological profile/character study of him in my reaction posts, but maybe it wasn't necessary. Maybe this has all been roid rage the whole time. Haha, yeah, maybe he was actually a bookish nice guy before he got gassed up! Then Hulk Hogan sent him some vitamins and BAM! BAM! SPLURT! or something. Hey, you get variation of heights amongst humans, too! If one dude can be 5’4 and another can be 7’2 then having a Predator a foot or more bigger than the film one (Gotta get that Villain Sue bigger and better shit in there!) maybe isn’t so unlikely! We’ll just assume he was wearing some platform shoes for this one, to extra intimidate his shortest target :D Or stood on a half-foot tall thing on the roof that Miho hadn’t seen so from her perspective he was 8 and a half… I dunno. Actually, it is entirely possible I have a different height later in the story. Continuity and me… Thank you again! I didn’t remember he had internal testicals. I wonder if that detailed stayed in throughout or got quietly forgotten? I also wonder what the hell made me think of it. Ahh well, thanks for coming along for the ride with this thing. If you stick it out for the rest of the chapters I hope there isn’t anything that upsets you too bad (I mean, besides the quality of the writing) and that you’re able to find some entertainment value. Somewhere. Under a rock at the back of a scene, maybe.

Revenge Of The Ravenclaw aka the one where Draco gets castrated. Well. Another blank review. Not sure if meant to be an actual review, if so I thank you for the intent, or some sort of screwed up spam bot in which case, meh, at least we’re a while yet off Skynet destroying us all.

This one’s been making me laugh like a fuckin’ loon for about 10 minutes. I don’t even know the characters involved.

I support this recommendation! But be warned, That ending is ‘emotionally’ touching, not in the ‘Chris Hassen shows up to interview Lady Aldreda’ sense.

You’re welcome!

I mean, that does sound like a fun story! ...werewolf? I’m not entirely sure now. I think more violence, fighting and the like. The ending you went with is great tho’ It is all good. Well that’s cool! The complexity and levels of piousness definitely feels like a more realistic society. Hey, it’s a great moment! I loves how you and some of the others really research your stuff and make it realistic. It feels like a big part of writing a proper story rather than the ham fisted porn scenes some of us crap out. Hahaha :D Him and the probably-fucked-anyway-from-infection other survivor could always set up a waffle house instead. “M’Paladin” *Somehow tips coif* Makes sense tho – you do tend to pick up word patterns of folks around you, and given how much he admires her he’d probably be consciously trying to emulate her manners rather than his upbringing? I’m kind of wondering what term they did use before “telegraphing” because the concept must have been around a long time. Not to late to meet the merchant and have him introduce himself as “It’s a me, Mario!” mind :P *Hot for Teacher, scored for mandolin, begins playing* Everyone’s got a thing and it made for some good stuff so far for sure. I’m sure it’ll go down well! Yes, but at the time you said nobody knew your characters yet so you couldn’t answer :p

Any problems of confusion definitely lie with the poorly written story rather than the reader, especially when the reader is pretty much an expert at close reading and proofing and the like I mean, 66% of all reviews point out some level of confusion! A brother and a sister help each other find completely non-related people to love? :p Way I hear it, series 8 made half the internet not want to watch the show again. I still haven’t seen any of it sadly. Am glad you enjoyed it tho, thanks! Yeah, he’d wait for her… but he wouldn’t become undead for her. What a beta male cuck! I’m sure his boss will relent eventually. He’s not known for his pride and stubbornness, right? I don’t think you can upset most of the people here. Well, unless you suggest Naruto’s wife might stay faithful to him, or that Dumbledore isn’t utterly evil. But it’s cool, I hope I didn’t upset you too much with it! You can always explain in private message if you did want to unload.

The old lady is a vampire. She’s old and tired in spirit, and doesn’t want to keep living mortal lives where friends/lovers grow old an die around her. She married a mortal guy when she was still in her 20s or so but is now 87 and still looking 18ish, while he grew old and died the year before. Still an old lady if she’s 87 tho’ The angel who shows up later used to be a demon for a while and got to be an angel again thanks to some incident in the past, and probably also years of trying to do the right thing by people. Some demons never really had the heart for it. I was trying to hide the fact that the old lady was a vampire as a bit of a reveal later on, but obviously ballsed it up some and ended up with this confusing mess that would have been swiftly banned from any holiday jam with even the most minimal of quality standards! Still, it filled another weekly prompt challenge so what the heck. Some of my contributions there are even more dire.

Yeah, the angel used to be a demon after falling during that unpleasantness with Lucifer. My flowery description probably didn’t help! Does the plot make any more sense knowing she is a vampire or is it still just a mess? Be honest, I can take negative reviews. I’ve had little choice over the years :D

I’ll read it tomorrow!

Thank you for the review! I appreciate it entirely! That was absolutely what I was going for – introducing her as the old lady she is in spirit, and then revealing a little more until it is obvious she’s a vampire. Given the short word count I totally get how it can be a little rushed and confusing tho. I figure it would have been a bit of an internal conflict for her because while there’s a few things she likes about being a vampire on the whole she’d rather not have had to become one, and wouldn’t want to force it on someone else – and she’d probably have not really pushed it either. Made all the negatives clear, but also that giving him the option to avoid aging, and death from old age. If he knew the angels, knew for certain there was a good chance of avoiding Hell, I figure he decided he’d rather live and then wait for her, however long it took. She wasn’t just deciding “Ah, I can’t live without this man.” it was more, she’d existing for a life, she’d had a good one with someone she loved, and friends, and the rest, and having to keep going through losing people except for maybe a couple other immortals just didn’t appeal at all. So, yeah, he chose to live and then to die. Probably safe to say one of them isn’t that well dressed fellow who made such a splash in California. I have a pretty good idea who one of the other two was (...inky fingers), and a fairly solid idea on the third. Probably depends on how good Jude was at his job. I’m really happy you got that out of it! I definitely tried to go for something that could work for readers who don’t know my characters at all, since I figured there’d be more of ‘em than usual, so going in without names and with some wider/more general tropes like a tired old non-evil vampire, depression at Christmas, and so on. Didn’t quite land, but what the heck! It’s Christmas and it was short! The ol’ happy reununion with deceased loved ones in paradise trope – overly sentimental for centuries! Glad I touched ya tho’ Not like that. Thank you again for the review! I look forward to reading and reviewing yours tomorrow as I gotta go have an exhausted sleep soon (and I hope that amusing exchange from the extract made it in!)

If there’s something to catch, InBrightestDay is the one to catch it! I wasn’t even familiar with the original song/film(?) although I’ve seen enough Rudolph references over the years and no doubt derivative stories to have the basics. Gotta say it sounds like a pretty cool, well thought out reference! but… but… it still has a big ol’ anthro deer! He was a buck and he was there to fuck! (uh… sorry Kiddo)! Just because some shortstack got stuck in someone was upset? Bah, furry drama llamas… There was an old old oglaf strip with the “Invincible Shield Maiden” where every strike someone gave her appeared on them, with the punchline being that a guy fucked her and felt his own cock inside him, “so good!” Reading your elf-kabob description reminded me of that and made me thinkof the elf magic being abused in a similar way. Rudy goes balls deep and suddenly he’s up to the nuts in his own reindeer guts – not in the Weird Al sense. ...yeah I’m also kinda weird.

...she does have some very lightlike sculpture in her garden. “...shall I have a welcoming hatefuck? No, dash it all, it’s Christmas!” Hey, it was cool the way they all gelled. Uh, I mean, as a team. I kinda had you down as the writer who could write anything, in any topic – I mean, you even nailed the Vanilla theme – so shows I was making an unfounded assumption. It’s quality MM stuff anyway, well, Bi! Ahh man, you shouldn’t feel any need to self censor just because of my own thoughts on what I read and what I don’t. If you were really keen for me to read it, you could have sent me a “TV edit” version (“is he… is he finding a stranger in the alps?”) with the sex scene/romantic lines removed and I could have reviewed that for you. Whatever you’re into, you’re not hurting folks just writing stories after all. Although since you’ve got those plans for ‘em I guess it all works out anyway waiting ‘til he’s 20. I’m kinda skipping the rest of the review/review reply as I haven’t read the story yet (beyond the brief extracts in email!) but I am hoping to get it read tomorrow now I am no longer hosting visitors! I am looking forward to it – new Year’s Eve treat since I am to tight to pay to go out on NYE anymore!

Heyoo! I hope the Christmassy/holidayey/late decembery/lightsy period went all well for you all. Sorry for delay in replies here, but I am back now. Back, and just as self loathing as ever! There’s a thread for story code suggestions over here that you can suggest it in! (or start a new one!) I think there may be a feeling that such a code would also need a rape tag, simply because while some folks use the codes to look for content they enjoy, others use them to avoid content that they would find distressing, and may not want to view any form of rape content, so having a clear code for that without having to check the meaning of something possibly less obvious is really useful. I totally got that! But when both reviews point out it ain’t the easiest to follow then I gotta take on board that it’s a little incoherant! That woulda worked. Probably there should have been more actual conflict, conflict is what makes stories interesting a lotta the time after all. Thank you! And thanks again for the review. I don’t even know what’s gonna happen. But luckily if I never get around to writing it, from the POV of the Christmas story it already happened!

Better late than never! Except where the heat death of the universe is concerned, possibly. Or the release of another Bieber album. That said, “ Warm and cuddly is surprisingly hard.” sounds like the opening line of a furry yiff fic.