JayDee

No apology required! You’re all adults, you can have different opinions over things in this thread as anywhere! Forum mods would have the final say mind :p She didn’t have left or right wing by the time Eparlegna was done with her! [/tasteless joke]

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: Jude's Tale – Part 3: A Duchess of Hell Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic (...ish. I mean, each part is going to be up to 1000 words.) Rating: Adult+ Fandom: Original Pairing: Jude x The Duchess. Warnings: AFFO Bigotry ChallengeFic Fingering MF Oral, reference to Torture.

...D’oh. To be fair, I just do promo’ing, what happens afterwards comes down to the reader! Also, neat review. And the ending might not be what you expect. Yeah, but pissing readers off is basically my brand. There’s an old flames thread where I’d copy and paste the flames I got for my godawful Firefly fanfic ‘fore they had to be deleted in line with site rules. I used to get emails urging me to die in a fire. Those were the days.

Whore of Heaven was posted to AFF in October 2007 and now has 9 reviews and 10330 hits. The first reviews were all posted before I started responding to reviews on the forum (this thread started November 2010) and so I don’t know if I emailed or anything else back. So here’s some quick replies to them as well! I think I did this with old reviews on another story before, but not WoH. Oh, and I’m totally going to write a story called Whore of Hell starring the succubus Shannon just to confuse people. Thanks for the review! It’s amazing the coincidences we sometimes have in life. I remember one time wishing I was bored to tears, and then I accidentally re-read my Ohio Vanilla story. This is the kind of story that I think works really well for the target audience for the whole defeat/violation/torture etc fetish Now the ending has been… extended since this review and it’s no longer forever, but for those 75 years every single second feels like eternity so same difference, right? Plus folks who prefer the old ending can stop reading where it finished before. Thanks for your review! Totally understandable. I think most folks would be disturbed and it does get pretty darn gory in places. Thank you for this review! Another one from the target audience I’m glad you enjoyed it! Although every time I read ‘perfect 10’ I hear the old Beautiful South song in my head. Can’t argue with a perfect 10! Now, onto the brand new review! @pippychick Thank you so much for this amazingly in depth review. I really appreciate any feedback but as much as this… Wow right back at you! Thank you again I’m very grateful. A lot of people I’d say ‘eh, this one may not be for you,’ but you’re great at writing the creeping chilling horror atmosphere yourself (and the brief imagary in your acrolith prompt drabble was surely dark and disturbing per my review there!) so this is not a trial for your imagination Thank you! Keeping someone alive while he’s reducing them to almost nothing is one of his favored cruelties – he kept his original human mother’s head alive at the end of his first apperance, too. He very much embodies the ‘Death is too quick’ philosophy when someone gains too much of his attention. InBrightestDay, and I’m paraphrasing here, pointed out the meta reason was so she could be anally raped. In universe the cruellest interpretation (and not one I subscribe too) would be to take the Calvinist Predestination theory and assume that she has that anatomy because her creator pre-ordained that she would one day need an asshole to have a corrupt demon-hybrid cop stick a fist in it. I prefer the happier interpretation that the same creator hoped/forsaw that one day the angels and archangels and the likes would one day (whether on Earth or other populated planets), pass amongst mortals sharing their food, and drink, and watching their sci fi shows, and maybe accidentally taking the last bit of bacon that a werewolf was going to… sorry I’m off topic and a world way. Nevermind. Whoa now! Don’t feel obliged to do anything because I wish it! Me mentioning it was more in line of how I occasionally drop references to how people should read The Price and now that I have both stories linked in my sig I’ll just keep finding ways to promote them to people, but if you (or anyone else!) don’t fancy it don’t bother with it (I doubt I could persuade InBrightestDay to read The Price either tbh, but it won’t stop me joking and promo’ing) – I will say it does have some wonderful nasty moments, mind (Amongst other bits, there’s this one sin creature that’s so awesomely creepy in a very body horror way it would make me take my hat off if I wore one.) I’m absolutely not taking offence – well, except for you saying I’m more intelligent. No way. you’re definitely the more intelligent person, I ain’t even in the top 10 on this forum. You can understand Lord of the Rings! I thought Elvish was just Elvis saying his name while drunk. There’s still the original ending there at least, but making someone suffer until entropy and the end of everything for refusing to leave humanity to face that sick fuck, well, I do kind of feel it didn’t fit so well. Like, a bit too harsh for what was basically one mistake. 75 years of every second feeling like eternity is still a pretty hefty dose of suffering. And it really raises questions like, if she was so beloved by her fellows for her wisdom and the like, why would no other angel help her? Turns out some out-of-touch Seraph stuck a flaming nose in. Seraphs, right? Swanning around all on fire and shit. Send one out to buy some ice for cocktails, they just bring a bag of steam. It’s definitely a bleak take you’ve got there. But I totally see how you arrive at it – it is pretty much how I see the real world sometimes! Alright, most of the times, I think a lot of the very anti-creator thought expressed in the story was intended to be from Eparlegna’s viewpoint, which supports everything he wants to do -rape, torture, kill, dominate, drink IPAs, flip the bird at the creator, and become ruler of his own domain, but I don’t know that the creator here actually intended for Luzurial to go through what she did. The command not to do it was there, and she disobeyed. She got to exercise free will (just as most humans exercise it to be right bastards to other humans.) Doing so made things worse for her, and for the people. Perhaps the creator here only knows what is likely? I suppose the argument in this universe would be suffer for three score’n’ten and then have eternity in paradise (I went creator rather than God I think, to have it as less Christian specific). It’s still kind of sucky, but they at least get the paradise. We get worms. Or dust. Or my personal likely fate, being undiscovered for five years until someone else walks up the high cold lonely place where I go to die. Still, you’ve got to laugh. I started getting the connected multi-verse to be a bit more hopeful with The Slumber Party of Evil Doom prompt fic two or three years later, where a demon saved a trapped angel to help her defeat a much nastier demon. I’ve tended to follow on from the brighter and more hopeful viewpoint in my angel/demon stories since. I think it depends a bit on my mental state at the time I’m writing. I was in a really dark cold place when I wrote some of that stuff. And with other stories I was pretty cheerful and just keen to see the reactions. Troll? Moi? Never! More of an Orc. Edit: Of course, getting meta again, her actual creator, that asshole JD, did create her purely for that fate. What a scumbag. Hey, Nietzche is dead too! :p Day after day, year after year, decade after decade, barely aware of the people passing due to her endless pain from wounds that are prevented from healing but won’t give her the release of Death. Her only bright spot the fact that she was spared meeting Piers Morgan. It’s a bit like how some folks end up living their lives, stuck in a personal hell with everyone else apparantly getting on and living. There’s probably a few of us know what that feels like. Thanks though! That’s a sweet compliment! I appreciate it Thank you again for the review! I hope you can get back into your slashy elf romance – in all honesty it’s not my favorite genre, but I can always appreciate folks writing what they like and having the fun of completing it, and sharing it and getting that feedback from the romantic elf slash fans. I still haven’t seen the Game of Thrones tv show (at this stage I’m definitely going to wait until it finishes and then binge the whole damn thing. Really hoping screen Tyrion holds up to book Tyrion!) but when I do I am looking forward to reading your GoT fic. I hope things continue better for you now

See? SEE? I fucking stand by that. Part 6 is great! First comes the hurt, then comes the comfort. It really fuckin’ works. And it’s a great damn image you have here. Taking a kind a half-assed Whore of Heaven concept and really making it work! I probably still have had more in to set the scene. I mean, I dunno her most badass moment is probably taking so many lashes before she starts screaming. Here and in the last part, she comes across as a proper badass. I don’t really remember, but it’s a story about an X-Wing pilot being tortured and killed by a haunted spaceship. There’s wires getting into eyesockets. It’s just grimdark edginess really, but I was doing my best to write something Deathstalker would enjoy… I may even have succeeded. Was a long time ago. Unfortunately the review in question asking if I felt gross was back before I responded to ‘em on the forums so I can’t look back at what I thought at the time. He’s a nice dude! Oh, yeah. I sometimes forget some of the tropes. There’s a trope for that too, I expect. Cheerfully corrected! I’m glad it stayed in, I think it worked! This kind of “What a total bastardry” at least will make it even more satisfying when they do beat his ass. He put himself between Eparlegna and her. He’s special alright :p I kid! I kid! I’ve said it’s a great ending already and I stick by it. Fucking awesome!

Awesome to hear things are better! Sorry about the dog worrying – I’m sure he’ll rest easy once the vet’s had a look. I can hear you little fellow now “Sorry, I know there’s no dignity when the temperature’s being taken but at least you can get a dog treat afterwards. Why don’t you look so happy with that?” I love seeing your talent too! Your The Price story remains one of the best things I’ve ever read, and that’s against some stiff competition from other writers on here (another one has joined it in my sig… now I need to try and persuade each of you to read each other’s stories! ). Also that Mercy story, lines from that come back to me at random times.

See if you can get some soft drink/soda pop sponsorship, so next monday you just need to post: “7 Up!”

A Big Girl's Bad End is some fucked up repugnant shit. And to think folks thought Michael was the worst member of the extended Van Dijk family. Anyway, somehow managed 600+ hits possibly due to either search engine bots or a sort of morbid curiousity. I promised in my author’s note that I would be shocked if anybody bothered to review it so here it is: I am shocked. Shocked I Say. And also surprised. Thanks for your review! I really appreciate you taking the time. You’re part of the select group of not-easily-bored people who can actually finish my more extreme stories! Honestly a lie down and ‘what the fuck’ seems like a pretty fair, entirely human reaction. Can’t blame you for it. As a sick fuck, I appreciate the recognition! Thanks again.

I was wrong! More reviews for Corrupt the Midwife! Yay! Thank you for these reviews! I really appreciate getting them, it’s always great to get feedback. I’m really glad you enjoyed it, too, because it means there’s gotta be some good in there! ...or just Fantasy!Trixie getting drunk and horny :p She did have fun with Trixie, but surely a little sympathy that she didn’t get off at the end? On the other hand, there’s worse ways to be tormented! I don’t always see the new Call the Midwife episodes right off myself – I really liked Chummy’s character way back, and it feels ages since she left. Still, got some good characters there still. Thank you for the reading, and for reviewing! I’d answer questions but you’ve already read the next one and got the answers – no physical harm meant, just making a play for her soul… and Chummy gives a bit of a forceful lesson of her views in the nature of pleasure and sin herself! Heh, full advantage Chummy, “Gosh, you’re flexible. Can you put your ankles behind your head do you know?” It’s been really great of you to read and review this at anytime! I hope that things are going ok/better for you at least. Hasn’t been the same around the forum without you! So what would have happened… Chummy would have become a succubus hybrid, and sent to try and tempt others into perverted sin. She may have been successful and eventually died and gone to Shannon’s corner of Hell, which is actually less unpleasant than some of them. Alternatively, one or more of the Nuns might have twigged and found a way to redeem her, and save her soul despite the deal she’d have made. It’s the same Shannon who appears at the end of You! when she’d gone blonde, and is seeking her own redemption. Monica Joan’s radical younger years probably had more than a few shocking events for the time… “...so then I found he wanted me to sound him with my knitting needle. Well, what could I do?” I’m glad you liked the ending! A chunk more sex there with real Trixie instead of fantasy!Trixie to round it off, I can see how it does come across as a bit of an add on after the previous part, but at least Chummy got to come… Have to wonder what some of the Nuns get up to in their rooms as well. Heh. Thank you again! I hope it bears up to re-reading. Sounds like you got a bit more out of it being a fan of the series. I think given the brief nature of the prompts it probably helps to fill in the stuff there wasn’t room to explain to non-fans. Maybe.

Everything I’ve read up until the end of part 8 in draft form is AWESOME. So I think he pulls the next parts off, but I guess I’m biased

As long as the people living there now haven’t found a haunted mirror… I can absolutely see why it takes a long time with 12000 word chapters, that stuff represents hours and hours of your work – with all your planning and editing and research taking up more on top! Still, it’s great fun writing.

This has come up a few times before, I think. Supposedly she’s on AO3. A quick google and… https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennaMarie/works

So does “Duchess”! [/angry class warfare reaction.] Wait, yeah, that’s basically what I thought about it, and she’s no interest in the Earth version of plain “Your Grace” and sees letting Jude talk to her like an equal, given his own sense of superiority, works in her favor. Whoohooo! For once, no sloppy writing! I think the Duchess found that leaving a couple more things virtually hanging out also worked at holding Jude’s attention. I bet Shannon’s been keeping an eye on her ‘study’ of the mystery too. No doubt gifting a back massager because “You seemed tense.” When they supply an actual definition for an obscure prompt word I try and use that meaning in the story. If there’s multiple defintions I’ll sometimes try and work more of them in – like when the prompt was Frittle, I ended up using about three defintions. Think that was the one where I had a talking badger fuck a talking horse. Bit furry really. I have thought up a way around using the entrails definition though, so it’s all good I gotta say this has been a really helpful suggestion because it’s got me thinking that the next part ought to be as near as possible entirely from the Duchess’ point of view as part 1 was from Kizzy (excepting sloppy writing, others’ direct thoughts were being either read through phsyical contact or assumed) and part 2 from Jude.

Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist) if I keep bashing out parts might actually make an undeserved 100 views! But I’m having fun writing it, so what the heck. Thanks for your review! He’s drunk, in an enclosed space with the Duchess who is helping him think with his dick, and had something technically true told to him that allows him to believe he hadn’t broken that huge “don’t hit a woman” rule. He’s got to have been prepared to make the effort to change... Even so, I think in another part his self-reflection may return. I hope she didn’t offer you a ride too? Oh, you mean in the Shannon’s report scrap! I guess technically you’ve seen her twice, only she was a lot younger and still an Archangel in the Fall of Chastia scrap. No freaking kidding. It's hard for me to even type. Apparantly the easiest demon name to type is Asmodeus’s nephew Asdfghjkl. I might even change her name again from that scrap! It could get sillier yet! She’s got quite the sense of superirority that woman. I’m think Duchess works better than the dark grace title too –It didn’t fit the persona she’s putting on for Jude of a concerned inhuman-hunter of wealth and status. I think she knew exactly what to say to Jude – She’s got the advantage of being able to read Jude’s mind from a distance, same as old Eparlegna. Never mind the defeated and self-pitying way he walked, she got a look in there and decided he was her patsy, even before he met Kizzy, and then it was just finding a way to get them to interract. Unless my sloppy writing has kicked in and messed it up then her only lies to Jude are lies of omission otherwise everything she says is true – she’s targeting something inhuman with great strength, Kizzy is a dangerous foe to her, and has influence over Shannon, and would spot the Duchess or another demon/damned soul servant approaching her a mile off, and Shannon was in her employ (hers as she sees it!) and as far as she knows Kizzy hasn’t had any interest in any man (There may have been some distinctly less pure thoughts while watching Star Trek, no doubt down to the borrowed flesh, but the Duchess doesn’t know about that.) It’s a nasty one, too. Hopefully by the end of the story, though, if you choose to read it all through and I manage to write it out as I have it all planned in my head you won’t be left needing to write a SAO to feel better. But if you do need to, well, that’s cool from my perspective because they come out great. Thank you! kind of hot is good enough for me. He doesn’t even have enough experience to note that the tongue was a little unnatural. I’m actually feeling like it might be cool to just do another 1000 word part of them having some more sex, total PWP fuckfest, with the Duchess having to remember not to eat his soul as she needs him alive, unharmed and un-soulless for her scheme, then the part after that can continue with where it was going to be before. The only issue is the next batch of prompt words including haslot (which I swear ought be spelled haslet) and fitting in a reference to cooked animal entrails to a non-snuff scene. Ahh well, I seem to not have the interest to write good sex these days anyway so if it doesn’t work and I miss having a sex chapter, then those prompts would have a use when the weapon is deployed. Yeah, that one made me smile too But, can’t say Kizzy didn’t warn him that intolerance’d end up with him in Hell. Thanks again for your review! I think I would not be surprised if nobody else who reads it bothers, but it’s nice to get feedback from someone.

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: Jude's Tale – Part 2: A Fagottist Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic (...ish. I mean, each part is going to be up to 1000 words.) Rating: Adult+ Fandom: Original Pairing: Jude x The Duchess. Warnings: AFFO Bigotry ChallengeFic MF Oral

Exactly! Ain’t no kids around before the dawn of time. And thanks! If I get it done, I’ll probably stick her right in there for someone for Chastia to be patrolling with. “Man, don’t ask what we get up to. A gentleman never tells.” “Right, got you, it’s just we overheard Calista leading a woman’s studies seminar on sexual fulfilment. Luzurial says there were three Succubi at the back. Looking shocked and taking notes.”

Twinpregnation was probably the most successful of my old story re-writes. I’ve got more feedback on it already than I ever did on the original version and I get a bit of kick that out of the idea that one of their descendants is serving her country in a tiny cameo in someone else’s story. If it makes the final draft. Thanks for your review! I appreciate your thoughts. I’m really glad the sex came across as hot – It’s a big part of the aim of a PWP thing like that. Funny enough the “twins having twins” ref made me think ‘Twinception’ for the frst time and I’m glad to see from google that Urban Dictionary got there years ago. In my original version of the story it literally started with the coming in and seeing the picture. I see what you mean about the perspective shift and the potential for the reader not knowing Connor’s thoughts – It never even ocurred to me to be honest! The original version of the story had the perspective shifts without the impregnation emphasis, and then I wanted to really establish all the changes to the characters for the re-write so I kind of made used seeing each character’s point of view to give them a lot of detail – the new opening was a big expansion on that. It almost certainly would have been better the way you suggest! I don’t know that I’ll ever write sequels. I’ve always enjoyed that whole “risk of getting caught” or “actually having someone talking obliviously to one or both parties having sex while they’re doing it” due to coming in at the wrong time kink/trope/whatever and having some of that going on would be a lot of fun to write. Uncle Declan definitely wants to appear in more stories. “What are you doing in there, Connor?” ‘Don’t say ‘My Sister’’ ‘Don’t say ‘My Sister’’ ‘Don’t say ‘My Sister’’ “Your neice.” ‘SHIT’ (With apologies to Family Guy who probably lifted the joke directly from an 80s sitcom) Thank you again for the review! I really appreciate it and it was a nice surprise.

Oh yeah, totally, write the ending you want to write – this is the kind of story where bad guys do win often. If the ghost doesn’t get beat he doesn’t get beat. I was just throwing out my thought. And Jonathan does seem like less of an asshole in that whole light – he’s doing some messed up stuff, but convinced it’s what she wants, so well, fair enough. He’s still losing points in the ‘decent person’ stake for cheating on his actual girlfriend, and not really thinking things through, but less of an asshole all the same.

He was gonna go with “Straight Outa Hell” but someone already used it I figured she would intervene to prevent him touching Jan, but show little concern about the possibility of him hurting her. At the same time she’s very aware that a guy gets drunk and hits one woman might go out and hit another. I was definitely considering the Mpreg option, simply because then I’d get to explore something I’ve done very little with, but I think It’s more likely to be a thought-about pregnancy rather than actually happening. All these folks writing first time stories, then there’s me thinking about doing the “first masturbation in creation” scene. Billions of years later, “Hey, can you guess what I invented?” But maybe that’s a bit too Mary Sue tbh. Maybe she ought to get the idea off a canon character. Anyway, thanks again for the review! Hopefully won’t be too many weeks until part 2.

Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist) Sometimes you get an idea for a story that almost nobody else is going to want to read, but you feel like writing it, and posting it, anyway. I have this concept for how to end this but I’m still not sure how to get to the end. Still, bit of sex in part 2! Thank you for your review! I appreciate it. While I don’t think she’ll be in part 2, Kizzy’s definitely going to be important in the story – Jude’s the title character, but then it was Jeb’s blood on that hay in the title of Kate’s story (I’ve been working on part 3 of that in my head, too). I figure it just happened to be that Jan needed help with homeless stuff that night. It’s probably not the first time Kizzy’s volunteered there – another time it might have been assisting elderly people, or one of other community outreach jobs. She’s certainly volunteering at non-church places, too. Probably sometimes she just goes out for a walk, and sees what she can do. Kizzy’s first appearance shows her solving Jack with violence, but that was after first getting into a position where she had enough friends for a sleepover. Slow, careful work. Then she didn’t demonstrate quite the best negotiating skills with Shannon, before once again using violence against Eparlegna – but both Jack and Sleazy E were pretty evil, and that’s easy for her to deal with. When it comes to Jude, she’s got things a little harder, especially beause until fairly recently she didn’t really understand mortals so well. She’s getting better. Jude… eh, he’s got some pretty unpleasant traits on display – the racism, homophobia, slapping Kizzy – but maybe he can turn his life around… and maybe instead he’ll give into temptation in Part Two. Where one of the prompts is gravid. I don’t know how soon I’ll get the second part done, it depends on what the ol’ muses help me put down. Might even get the Fall of Chastia story done first. I kind of want to write a ‘before the battle’ section for that. The Temptation of Chastia, maybe, so I can include a bit of Lucifer and make it less entirely OC for the bible section. And maybe even throw in some thought-to-be-totally-against-the-rules masturbation. Get caught jilling off by Lucifer? Well, it might appeal to someone. Thanks again for the review!

When the original version of the review just called him a second rate Buffy villain without naming ‘em I thought Thundercloud must have meant Warren. I mean, I thought The Judge was pretty cool (though not as cool as Buffy was when she shot him with that rocket launcher) – say what you want about Spike, he knew how to get nice presents for Dru. So why Warren? Well, look at everything in common! They both: Seek domination Don’t like being told what to do Poor attitude to women And they’re fuckin’ rapists While very smart in some areas, deeply stupid/blinkered in others. Got superiority complexes Display bad tempers Have a tendancy to vengeance Once got skinned by an enraged witch (admittedly, that story hasn’t been told for Eparlegna yet. Wasn’t his finest hour. Anyway, it grew back.) Are definitely fucking Andrew off screen Ok, that one isn’t Eparlegna. But the other stuff totally fits. But seriously folks, if InBrightestDay is working with a second rate villain that’s the fault of the source material in Whore of Heaven. I think the dude comes across as pretty badass and evil in the new story.

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: Jude's Tale – Part 1: A Seraph Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic (...ish. I mean, each part is going to be up to 1000 words.) Rating: Adult Fandom: Original Pairing: None in part 1. Warnings: AFFO Bigotry ChallengeFic Racist Violence

He does have a twisted sense of humor so there’s a fair chance it was built out of the bones of employees of a popular Ready-to-assemble furniture vendor. He may have enjoyed the meatballs.

AFF: Where even the pages of the theological philosophy textbooks are stuck together. Rumor has it at least one of them can be distracted with new episodes of Star Trek.