JayDee

An Actor Abducted finally got finished and it’s one of those stories where I’m not hugely happy with it, but I stil feel it worth the effort as I genuinely think my re-written version is a big improvement on the original, and I like how Gabrielle’s character turned out. In my original version she was a cishet male who happily became a rapist. Gabrielle’s waaaay more nuanced and less of an asshole. Thank you for the second review also! I really do appreciate the feedback. The WS I felt helped show Roman was getting even more extreme, and it seemed Gabrielle needed a nudge to get to the right mental place. Plus it was in the original version… then again, so was some brief scat content and I wiped that. As it were. Bringing back OCs and re-using them is something I’ve been dicking around with for years so I am sure if I can manage it, I will. At the very least she deserves a nice stiff cock up that British arse just like she’s been dreaming about. Thank you again You’re one of the best writers I read on here for sure! I can only judge on what I read. Sure, I don’t read get around to all of your stuff obviously, but when I do find something that sounds my kind of thing and read it I always enjoy it – and when I read something that doesn’t sound like my kind of thing I enjoy that too!

That’s me twice!

Something something give a dog a bone something etc. I look forward to part 2!

...hey good point! Of course it can be both.

“I can’t tell if you’re aroused, or just dripping ectoplasm.”

Gopher (As in “Go for this/go for that”) as well as a more slangy term.

Factotum as well, maybe?

Yeah, good luck to all taking part!

Update on An Actor Abducted: I spent a few hours in two batches today re-writing this part, including the bits I’d already three-quarters re-written. I took out a good 700 words of the original ending completely, and wrote around 2000 new words both in the ending and throughout. It’s now got the shape and the ending that I feel works and is pretty different to the original. I want to leave it a few days and look again as there’s likely introduced types/grammar errors I’ll hopefully pick up, but my hope now is to have it finally finished and polished by next Saturday or Sunday. I’ll leave it in the Darkfic > General section, as the only actual threesome – which will need tagging – is towards the end of the final part so just a 3Plus tag will be more accurate, than moving to threesomes/moresomes and I’ll probably put it at the top of Part 4 only rather than the main page summary so as to not mislead on the majority of content. There’s another tag which only applies to part 4, which didn’t apply to the original, that I will put on the main page summary because it’s a bit of a trigger/extreme content tag. Someone gon’ die.

I don’t know that I’d get around to doing one myself, but some of these are great ideas. Idea 6 especially is really cool. I love the concept there. Fingers crossed someone takes ‘em on.

Naruto the Cluck – I’ve had a review from Pippychick, who did her own twisted take on the prompt words here, if you haven’t read and reviewed it go ahead. It’s drabble length so it’ll take you around 5 minutes to read, 5 minutes to realise you’re going to wake at about 3am and remember it, and about 5 more to write a review how great the tone of horror is! Thank you for your review! It’s not the first time I’ve had anal insertion in a story, to be sure. Abasement was actually the harder one to work in with it being a generally upbeat consensual scene. I pretty much decided to make an unintentional, and frankly unlikely, anal penetration just so that I could use that triple A combo of alliteration. Later I realised I could have just used the terms to describe Naruto’s condition. I think I like it better when the prompt words actually prompt story elements rather than just deciding “I am going to write this, how should I work them in.” Quite a few of mine have been the “just work it in” variety, of course I once saw someone say they didn’t enjoy cuckold stories if there wasn’t a big black cock involved, I hope I didn’t mis-understand. I really appreciate the review, thank you again, and I hope that the rest of your Sunday is good! It’s been pissing it down here so all I’ve been doing is working on the last part of An Actor Abducted, thanks to BronxWench’s review effectively nudging me concentrate more on thinking about how little the character Gabrielle wants to be there, and also, probably unintentionally, making me think about throwing in a bit of the old gore. Onto a tangent, which is more me thinking out loud rather than responding to the review – I nearly started another post for it, and then realised there wasn’t much point When I looked at the fic after seeing the review, I was surprised to see nearly 4800+ hits already. Given such a large hit count this story got in a short period (rather more than, say Twinpregnation has got in a longer period), I’m half tempted to try looking properly into the fandom to see if there’s enough characters to make it worth using it as the setting for one of my last remaining re-writes. I am something of a reader whore… And I mean, it seems like these folks are hungry for content. One of the re-writes I’ve been leaving until the end has six adult female characters in it, which puts it beyond of a lot of fandoms (the original was a story exchange, I’d heard of maybe one of them for the request, so at least it fits in with doing it as a Naruto re-write...) Are there six adult female characters who could be tricked into being rendered suitably helpless in some vaguely canon manner for the kind of sweaty interracial experience that leads to walking funny for a few days? I’d start a thread and ask, but frankly I am slightly scared by he kind of answers it might generate. Maybe I’d be better doing it as a Final Fantasy re-write because a) I know some of the games and b) another subdomain slot filled…

As far as I can tell I’ve never made a review reply thread for this subdomain. Having looked, before yesterday my last review in it was 2010 and I think I started responding on the forums to reviews around the 2011 prompts so that’ll be why! I might as well respond to all of them now I am here, as well as the most recent. My currently sole Anime1 subdomain story, GunSmith Cunt was written as a request for the author Sethite who until I just read that note in the story I haven’t thought about for years. I hope they’re doing ok! Their last story was in 2009, but we all go through fallow spells… or maybe they changed penname? The note also says that in return for me writing this, I requested from Sethite “a story about Lord of the Rings’ Éowyn”. They don’t have any LOTR stories on AFF so maybe it never did happen, I think maybe it did but was posted elsewhere and lost? Sethite was good people anywhow. Now, about Éowyn, wikipedia tells us “In Old English, the language Tolkien used to represent his invented language of Rohirric, the word eoh (or eh) means "war-horse, charger" while wyn means "delight, pleasure" so it’s safe to say the kind of story that I would have written for her, neigh? Anyway, before I respond to each review individually, I’ll just say Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed, I appreciate all thoughts on my stories and I am glad that those of you who enjoyed it, enjoyed it! It’s always nice when you write something for someone and they give a feedback reply! Many fine ideas! I hope they were fine Looking back through, the one bit I like was how the bad guy went out of his way to not hurt Rally’s friends. See, there’s some people who think anybody who writes or reads the violent stories must really hate the characters. It wasn’t true for me as writer because I didn’t really know the series at all, and it’s clearly not the case for Anon here. On the other hand, it’s probably a good thing that intimately inserted white phosphorus doesn’t appear in more fanfiction. I guess it does have some things in common with the torture porn genre of horror, but the really terrifying thing is the spelling, punctuation and grammar. Amazing folks with writing is always good! And, finally, the new review, and, well, I think the reviewer may have an alternate forum name or two. Thank you for your interest in taking part in this story. Unfortunately, all roles were filled at the time of writing – I had a lot of OCs jumping for the torturing role, and somewhat less interest from any of the gang* in pretending to be Rally for the tortured role, but eventually found the right candidate just on the way out of an Adam Sandler marathon in a first draft that never went anywhere. The anally inserted white phosphorus was played by Sarsa in a pre-You! fame role, and had much the effect of reading one of her fanfics. Unfortuately, re-visiting this story for a George Lucas style expanded cut fills me with the sense of horror. Well… almost like horror. *In case anyone ever wondered why so many of my fanfic is so out of character, it’s because instead of the real characters from the canon stories who won’t lower themselves to appear in my shit, I have to get in OCs and tell them to act with a variety of wigs, prosthetics and make up. In all my Harry Potter stories where he appears, Harry is actually played by a tall, muscular, African-American called T-Dog, but he has a deal with the narrative voice to describe him as being physically close to canon Harry.

I’ll do you a story. It’ll have to be brief, though, because the forum rule says only short chunks of story (10 lines or something?) This is how it goes: Once upon a time a user called DBZshotaboy wanted to be in a story so badly he asked everyone he could find to write about him. He asked the good writers. He asked the bad writers. He even asked the Naruto fandom, but nobody said “Yes.” In fact, besides a curious moderator, nobody said anything at all. This made DBZshotaboy very sad. Finally, JayDee, huddled in their pit, took pity on the plucky youngster and said “I’ll do you a story. It’ll have to be brief, though, because the forum rule says only short chunks of story (10 lines or something?) This is how it goes:” Return to start

Another review for Naruto the Cluck, and by extrordinary coincidence it’s the same as the one I got on Tinder – Thank you for your review, I really appreciate the feedback! This feels like a fairly common response to encountering one of my stories and, for this story at least, I urge you to follow your curiousity and see how it goes! Thanks again.

As the causer of many typos myself I am totally with you, Kid Coheed. It’s very easy to do and, hey, with any luck for you it’ll catch someone’e eye and get them to read the request and write out this pussy pounding extravaganza. Unfortunately I also see where the mirth making is coming from, as I can’t shake a mental image of Doc Brown muttering “1.21 Gigalos” in shock at his future self’s time travel requirements. Maybe in 1985 footlong cocks are available in any corner drug store, but in 1955 they're a little hard to come by.

Naruto the Cluck has been reviewed! Thank you for your review! I totally missed a lot of the prompts back then so it’s nice to re-visit some of the open-ended time limit ones and to be honest acrolith really helped with deciding how to turn Naruto into a chicken, what with not knowing any in universe reason. Definitely easier than those bloody second quarter 2011 words I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, but I’m pretty sure Naruto’s dialogue was pretty much the best I have ever written for any character. I will never better it. Sigh. Thank you again for the review! I can imagine someone reading the story, reading the review and then going “Wait, what? This story?”

Hi DBZboy18! Welcome to AFF! If you put you hand in something and it’s warm and sticky, just wipe it off on the curtains.

Oh, if we’re doing compliments… Thanks! and I’m always in awe of your writing ability, and the dedication with which you approach everything you do. And thank you again for the review!

At this stage the world is pretty much gonna roast us, shake us, blow us and drown us with climate change until we go the way of the dinos. Gaia is fucking done with our shit. In 65 million years highly evolved cockroaches are going to be trying to work out just what the fuck we needed so much plastic for, while the President of one of the major landmasses talks about grabbing ‘em by the thorax. Still, you’ve got to laugh. Oooh! I could always lighten the tone for Part 4 by turning it into a gorefest. Enforce Chekov’s Gun on Roman’s Knife sort of thing – I mean, the dude’s Russian so it’s kind’ve appropriate, and with the re-write set in London I guess there should be ramped up knife crime. I begin to see a way to do my changed ending.

Pen Name: JayDee/JD Story link: Naruto the Cluck Review replies link: Here! Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult + Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Hinata/Sasuke Warnings: AFFO Anal ChallengeFic Complete Cuckold MF Oneshot Oral PWP TF

Review on An Actor Abducted Thank you for your review! I really appreciate your thoughts on this. To be honest I was assuming this story was falling squarely into the “Whoa, this is the kind of shit I don’t even want to comment on anonymously!” catagory. I totally get the squicky feeling, it’s a pretty nasty subject matter. I didn’t think it was so bad as some of the gorefests I’ve done, but in a way their over the top nature makes them more fantastical/silly, where this sort of thing is perhaps more grounded in reality and so easier to turn the stomach (someone once said something like that about my old story Mike Rapes a Dyke). I’m kinda tempted to put that quote in my sig! DarkFic sub-section definitely the right choice for it, huh? Part 4 is basically three-quarters re-written – I’ve been through on the original, changed all the names and genders and that, but the endings for “Hank” and “Gabrielle” need to be changed quite a bit, since eg Hank isn’t going to be getting pregnant, and Gabrielle isn’t cheerfully keen to take part in rape like the original version. It could take a while to get right, and in the meantime I’ve done the first draft on Naruto the Cluck , but that should be quicker to polish as a flashfic and then hopefully I’ll get part 4’s re-write finished! Thank you again.

Yeah, that’s pretty much the size of it, only with it being just 1000 words I don’t have enough words available to cover it happening regularly, though it should be implied. I also didn’t know if they had a backyard but assumed they’d have a kitchen. As for who, well, I could literally only remember Naruto himself, Hinata, Sakura and Sasuke when I did the first draft, and I didn’t want to do another dickgirl fic yet so that only left Sasuke to be the guy. I will hopefully have it done soon! Obviously I’d rather someone else made a story about such a glorious title/concept, but having elicited no interest it shall be I who writes it. And so If there’s any more to be said about my attempt, I made another thread outside challenges here – this Naruto subforum thread – to avoid this challenges thread getting clogged when there’s still a chance someone might do their own take on it! Edit: Naruto the Cluck – Please read and review.

I have completed the first draft of flashfic Naruto the Cluck from this challenge thread and will need a discussion thread to link on the story when I post it in case I ever get a review. Oh, quit laughing. So here is the discussion thread (it’s also useful to divert any further discussion away from the challenges board). I have seen that the Naruto fandom is a harsh and unforving one, hard on technical accuracy, but then so was LOTR and I never got any abuse for that one (now, the D&D Drow fans? they were understandibly annoyed, but at least they didn’t see the first draft where the Drow referred to puppers and doggos.)

I am working with an advantage over other authors in that respect as I have never seen an episode of Naruto, read a Naruto manga, played a Naruto video game or consumed any other form of Naruto media. The entire story will use half remembered details from a discussion I had with an anime fan cousin six months ago where she tried to persuade me Naruto was worth watching, and probably unavoidably bits of info I have unintentionally absorbed from looking at occasional discussion threads on here. This is still more info than I had going into my DBZ story. I am also going to do it for one of the dribs/drabs prompts I haven’t yet attempted and so will need to lever in the relevent words AND fit it into flashfic length, because I only ever do flashfic for the dribs/drabs prompts. Why, nobody has yet asked, why JayDee would you first make such a challenge, and then write it? Well, I just really like the title. Really like it. Maybe too much. It’s nice of you to say, but my talent ran dry years ago. EDIT: – Please can any further discussion on my take on my challenge be put under this Naruto subforum thread outside the challenges forum. Obviously anybody else wanting to take on the Naruto becomes a Chicken challenge should continue here Thank you!