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InvidiaRed

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Everything posted by InvidiaRed

  1. Nearly done with the last preview. :D

     

    But here’s a writer question isn’t it a nice thing to do to put your manuscript through spellchecker/grammarly so your editor doesn’t hate you? You know catch the obvious errors first.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      “Sorcerer’s Stone” does run off the tongue a bit better than the Philosopher’s Stone, otherwise, yep, would’ve been better if the Britishisms weren’t removed.

      As to my potter fanfic, not sure where the old disclaimer that I was American went to, apologizing in advance for not being perfect to British.  However, I do try to insert some British where I can, particularly “todger” and “zebra crossing”.

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Only have two HP fanfictions when where harry is trying to survive in a zombie apocalypse a scenario were the wizarding world is almost guaranteed to thrive in since wands don’t run out of bullets 

      And a dark lord Harry who AK’d peter in the graveyard, a relatively slow corruption story hahah.

       

    4. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      I’ve only got one potter fanfic I’m working on, now A/U because it was a “continue the story” type of fic that was popular between book releases, and it’s interesting enough to finish.  As it’s technically a sequel to my first “continue the story” fanfic, which itself was “continue the story” based on  another (now abandoned) fanfic, I can’t bring the story itself to AFF w/o filing off the serial numbers which I couldn’t bring myself to do.   However, it’s plenty fun to write with Harry being framed up to be a “suspected dark wizard” and it pokes fun at the Harry/Ginny shipping.

  2. Never have done water-sports and tentacles might be fun. As for family, that’s why you use your personal accounts and not your public one haha.
  3. From JayDee on June 25, 2021 “Returning light” “Harry thought of good times with his best mates and he was rewarded with a bang” Filthy! Oh OH, right, wrong bang. Carry on. This one seems to be fairly optimistic! Ol Riddle coming across as a bit of a dick in Harry’s recollection which definitely fits in canon. I liked how he got the ol’ Patronus running around and had a nice sense of comfort from the light. There’s a quote, I think Terry Pratchett? “Sometimes it’s better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.” Anyway, good to get back into Harry’s head here and looking forward to the next part. Even if it is detailed laundry doing. To rise on the back of giants means you don’t have start from scratch. He’s got Dumbledore and others as examples he isn’t alone. Darkness has marked him but at his core Harry shines brighter for it.
  4. Its a badge of honor. Oh you liked them doing carnal fornication?! well then that’s what they’ll do
  5. http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099588&chapter=11

     

    Just a quick update to celebrate my achievement of finishing and then I decided to do a Preview Hahaha. The world is grand <3 :D

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      The Return of the King also had a bunch of appendices too, histories, family trees, etc – clever way to info-dump without over-burdening the prose.

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Lol I have the rest of my life to expand the verse as it were hahah.

       

      Now off to find a decent editor!!!

    4. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Quote

      Now off to find a decent editor!!!

      An indecent editor might be more appealing?

  6. Finally, my labor is nearing its ebb. 3k words left :cheers:

    @BronxWench

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      Quote

      How does it feel? I’m always torn when I make it to the end of something. I’m thrilled to be done, but never quite ready to let the little story go out into the world all alone… :lol: 

      You guys are making it to the end of things?
      :blink:

       

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Quote

      You guys are making it to the end of things?  :blink:

      “End of things” … that does not compute.

    4. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Quote

      You guys are making it to the end of things?
      :blink:

      I do actually make it to the end of things. I just never seem to get around to actually posting them. :lol: 

       

  7. 6k words let just wow. Home stretch is nearly in sight. I can’t believe it.

    1. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      One more chapter… one more chapter… words seduce, and you’ll have that million in no time!  :freak:

    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Maybe for my HP fanfic

      Tarnished Lion =p nearly 30k dragon prints and yet three comments so I assume people enjoy it? I’m pretty sure it’s almost as many words as order of the phoenix

       

      but I swore I’d be a full fledged writer by my birthday

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      My potter fic (on AO3) stands at 927k – that’s short, right?  B-)    Not sure the best way to get people to comment/review, otherwise I’d be minting them myself.

       

  8. my spellchecker constantly flags grey/ gray. If I want to use them interchangeably I will
  9. I mainly ado full mage build. I should probably do that whole OP sniper archer everyone seems to do. The spells can be a little lack luster buts its hilarious when you can heal yours companions faster than they can get hurt.
  10. 12K words left and my wordsmithing is nearing its end :spank:

    1. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Lemme proofread… “12M words left” right?  :thumbsup:

    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Hahaha.

      No, 8k left since I essentially had to rewrite the entire novel almost from the ground up. So find another editor

      getting nervous tho. What if everybody hates it? ugh..

      How do you fellow writers deal with the nerves?

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Quote

      How do you fellow writers deal with the nerves?

      Close my eyes before I hit the post button.

  11. I feel like there is a whole untapped subgenre of what happens when a zombie apocalypse gets worse.

    *Werewolf howls*

    or demons escaping hell or vampires going crazy as they try to find the last living humans before they go totally feral.

    or even suddenly it goes disaster movie.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      @GeorgeGlass Max Brooks*’ short story The Extinction Parade and the comic miniseries adaption pretty much matches that.

      *The World War Z guy.

      Edit – https://www.amazon.com/Max-Brooks-Extinction-Parade-1/dp/1592912346

      “As humans wage their losing fight versus the hoards of the subdead, a frightening realization sets in with the secretive vampire race: our food is dying off. This is the story of the vampire's descent into all-out war with the mindless, hungry hordes of the zombie outbreak as humanity tries to survive them all! “

       

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Suddenly, the thought came to my head… “The Zombie Dating GAME SHOW!”  I must be very disturbed.

    4. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I kinda want to write a zombie apoclypse that happens during a dating game show. hahaha

  12. Chemical burns tend to be worse because acids will continue doing damage until washed off/ neutralized.
  13. From JayDee on June 01, 2021 Part 2! (basically the DM comments!) In terms of fairly brutal helpless darkfic it’s pretty fucking solid. Some interesting ideas -I’ve listed a couple bits that stood out – and it seems to be pushing on your existing storyline. I always figured Lucifer’s big advantage was his cunning and brain though, bit like Loki really. Is he gonna take it lying down? Absolutely not, He’s more concerned with the fact that for all the hard work he’s done in keeping the status quo that he personally and his poker buddies have done essentially means nothing. Since the main body for the gods has quietly chosen to destroy man. So by securing the aid of pretty much the designated bastard. There’s some small glimmer that it won’t all end in tears. He may act eviler than he truly is but it’s an entirely different thing to be the sextoy and gimp of a god of evil. For the general MM content – I’ve written a lot less of this so you might be better asking someone with a lot more writing experience to look it over. MORE SPOILER LIKE COMMENTS This Zahhak snake guy is way less funny to be around than the snake with puppets dude! But, not a complaint, you’re going for darkfic, right? Anyway, seems like these bunker dwelling assholes probably had it coming. Generally good guys don’t get bunkers. So, fuck ‘em. Let the god of evil have his fun. This is very much a every dog has his day. In this case, while the world is reeling from waking up a year later and a pandemic the evil gods have all the chaos they need to put their plans into motion. “Lucifer's knee erupted in a shower of divine ichor.” – Nothing wrong here, this is a great line! Fuckin’ kneecappin’ the devil. Then knocking another couple limbs off, pretty brutal! Also really cool of having Lucifer undo that zipper with his teeth and get a cock in the face. That’s…. that’s something I’ve not seen before I don’t think. I’ve seen coming all manner of noxious substances, and oviposition, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody coming fire ants, or other bugs. That’s a hell of good idea! Thanks Cumming swarms of vermin paints a vivid picture. Doesn’t it? Haha I kinda want to see you use it since I unironically love your writing. Its also something Ahriman really would do. Since canonically, He’s a god that chooses to be a bastard. ‘ It is not that I cannot create anything good, but that I will not. ‘ He’s very much the woke up and choose violence kinda guy. And nothing sounds as petty as losing your crops to a horde of locusts just because some random asshole wanted to rub one out. Lucifer having an Olympian buttplug in was also cool and this here: "You whore." Ahriman said, pleased that he didn't have to break in that unconquered hole. "You've been fucking an Olympian! Did they all have a turn? Of course, Zeus had a taste of you. You're going to catch something from that manwhore." That’s pretty funny. Solid bit of levity as he’s talking to his victim there. Of course, Zeus would fuck anything. I find it funny that Ahriman accuses of Zeus of having STI’s but here he’s literally giving luci vermin and likely exposing him to all the sexual infections. Ahriman is a god that sees the destruction or desecration of beautiful things as a beautiful thing. He finds beauty in ugliness and ugliness is beauty. He’s complimenting Lamashtu here because really does find her grotesque appearance wonderful. Growing the snake out to wrap it around Lucifier’s dick is another idea I really don’t think I’ve seen the like before. Really inventive! At this stage I’m not sure if it’s like a chastity-bondage device, or a living fleshlight. (Both, you say? Well played!) It was a multifold way to , prevent him from using his manhood and keep him randier than a bitch in heat and remind Luci than Ahriman’s pleasure is more important than his own. Lucifer is his gimp. His bitch. And since he’s filled to bursting with vermin he’s going nowhere for the moment. Pleasure venom swelling the balls is another cool image. It’s not like he’ll be using them and he has to feed that snakehead something haha. just the Antichrist chap and then the epilogue
  14. Updating Tags for Offering Sorrow

    inhindsight being a dark POV should of done that first :errm:

  15. Writer question

    Pen names are confusing af like you have to copyright it?

    1. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      IANAL, however, I think trademark applies to pen names.

    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      I never copyrighted my pen name, actually, but no one else has had the urge to use it as far as I know. :lol: 

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Google search later, pen names may be trademark-protected, but aren’t copyright-protected.  Though, more practically, I think other writers (& lawyers) may gang up on somebody poaching another’s name.

      A scorched-earth option, make your writing sufficiently notorious so nobody dares to be associated with it.

  16. From JayDee on May 17, 2021 Well that's dark! Dismembered and still defiant there for that prisoner was kinda cool - solid description on the heart pulling there. With the mention of the drowned roosters I was making smutty jokes in my head - "It's an AFF story and cocks get wet" etc but I'm guessing that's completely unintended with the dark tones. Well, fuck them gods right? Down with ragnarok! Those wolves are fun too. Just a badass pack doing wolf stuff for mama. Mama does not fuck around when it comes to family she plays to win. Everyone else at best falls into the category of acceptable losses if they’re even considered at all even Duncan himself isn’t safe. She will deprive Asgard of that fated glorious last stand even if it means she has to kickstart another apocalypse. If her children live it will have all been worth it. The next chapter however, Ahriman is providing a challenge, I’ve never written an utter bastard before so I might PM you to at least look it over. @JayDee you portray evil characters so well.
  17. A grouping of humans is called a tribe

    1. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      And a grouping of crows is murder.  :)

    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      A grouping of raven is an unkindness- I love how the naming are so amazing.

      Bears- Sleuthe

      Tigers- Streak

      Hippos- Pod

  18. Heads up Offering Sorrow

    is a dark antagonist’s POVs.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Aw, a more clear-cut evil for the sake of evil?  Most of my original fiction “antagonists” could be written as protagonists if you switched POVs – ie, they think they’re protecting society from the evils my typical main characters “represent”.

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Sometimes you don’t need a complex motivation other than

      I’m going to destroy everything!- Angra Mainyu

      Angrboda’s primary motivation is family. She genuinely loves her children Fenrir, Hel and Jormungander and wants them safe on earth is understandable. Wanting to avenge her own murder is too,  Conspiring to get humanity to nuke Asgard less so.

    4. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      True, sometimes it simply takes a divorce to bring out the worst in people.  Have fun writing whatever the heck you want to write!

  19. One of the wierdest vids I’ve seen.

  20. Sequel to Southwestern Wind should be ready.

     

    Offering Sorrow should be ready by Sunday :D

  21. https://mypen.name/#generate-names

     

    I find it weird that they all start sounding like Roger’s personas

     

     

  22. @BronxWench 4k word count is the smallest amount acceptable for individual chapters for quite a few publishers :blink:

    So now I gotta

    WML

     

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. InvidiaRed
    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Well, suppose you could torture them with a brick by brick description, along with blueprints, see how long it lasts until they’re throwing stones… :)

      I’ll second @BronxWench with her method, similar to how I do it.  Describe the basics, leave the rest to their imagination, unless there’s something important, like a loose brick.

    4. InvidiaRed
  23. “Any god that demands worship is by definition a tyrant”

    going through my 1st year college stuff and its cringy

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      jewish lore on this one is actually quite fascinating.

    3. InvidiaRed
    4. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      The jewish people believe in debate. A LOT. To the point where there's an old joke that if god himself joined in a debate between priests, that'd only make the vote two to six.

      They emphasize things like moses whittling the commandments down to ten (which is also in muslim tradition) and Abraham bargaining to find ten honest men (although some argue that's so that he can see for himself how futile it is). And in a famous story (have to track it doen, sorry), the rabbis actually beat god in a talbot debate and he celebrates his 'childrens' accomplishment.

       To them, the relationship with god is a pact, one where he has to fullfill part himself. Theyve succesfully argued terms of worship a number of times, within reason because god needs to get something too. And yes, he asks for worship, but it's closer to a parent wanting to be in your life, if im understanding it righr. Does that make sense?

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