InvidiaRed
-
Posts
923 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
175
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Everything posted by InvidiaRed
-
I think I got everyone ’s reviews. Thank you The rest are in my review response place
-
From JayDee on December 19, 2018 Outreach It feels like Vaneris’s feelings for iteration pi are not entirely healthy... It was interesting. Lots of hints at wider lore as with the Halloween story and that momentous things have happened, but here’s a couple folks just lying together on a holiday. And, hey, Bread can be hard to get right! A relationship is hard enough without a vast power imbalance between two beings. The nearly unfettered power on their home turf means even a mild temper tantrum by a godling can be absolutely apocalyptic. Love often blinds those with it of the faults of their beloved. the result of a dalliance between a fertility goddess and a god of pestilence is Vaneris.Its not by accident that the name is similar to
-
From Desiderius_Price on December 18, 2018 Outreach - InvidiaRed It was nice seeing iteration pi return. A bit of formatting to the poetry would do it nicely (ie, indent it). Thank You. I’ll try to mend it
-
From SinfulWolf on December 20, 2018 Outreach – by InvidiaRed The style is rather interesting. I think anthologies like this really are a great time to experiment. This style of writing, I think it can work really well for a short story (as here) but I don’t think it’d work for anything much longer. Each sentence being a paragraph, especially at the start for the time in the hole, made every bit a little more impactful. Almost like poetry. I think where it was showing it’s weaknesses was when it came to dialogue. It felt a little disjointed, and didn’t flow very well, and since a single character had multiple lines, sometimes I wasn’t entirely sure who was speaking at a given time. Still, a rather nice story with a lovely ending, and your setting is quite interesting indeed. Certainly shows all the work you’ve put into it. I always seek to improve…. You are absolutely correct dialogue isn’t a strength yet. the rules for dialogue is vaguely arcane… At least to me.
-
haha. I’ll never forget the flavor text since my brother loved to spam lightning bolt( He’s hardcore Red)(for those interested I’m hardcore Black) MTG ftw
-
“Breeder venom changes the host to be more hospitable to their little parasitic shits.” He wouldn’t be able to take said anti-venom if he was severely hallucinating. Part of him is aware he’s infected its just the rest of the hallucination drowns it out. Hahaha. Now I can’t wait till next holiday.
-
From BronxWench on December 16, 2018 Outreach Beautiful, just beautiful. You play with language like a master, and it's delightful to see how you coax words into new patterns. And this world of yours--so unique, and painful, and full of terrible beauty. Thank you! Thank you for the kind words.
-
From PlagueClover on December 16, 2018 Outreach by InvidiaRed This was a very sweet story. You know, when I read fics you've written, the style, the elite word usage and complicated thought processes make me very curious about what's happening in that brain of yours. I mean that in a good way. Your writing is very different from anything I've read before. It's a lot to take in, a lot of jumping back and forth so I had trouble following/understanding what was happening, but once I kinda caught onto the rhythm of it, and that little romance began to spark, it managed to pull at my heartstrings and ended beautifully. Awesome job. It takes effort to make the words flow. To make them go. Where they end up nobody knows. From one mind to the next A simple test, A detail stress For Context is Queen and the order of words King.
-
Outreach is up. Haha. I almost changed my mind for a unabashed story based on a horny santa, His demonic gimp Krampus, his wife and his quest to find another Ho.
-
Outreach A godling alone in the dark finds hope within an outstretched hand.
-
Last meeting with the editor.
Haha. Now any ideas for a book cover where to look? I want something epic for it none of that bland featureless cover nonsense.
- Show previous comments 4 more
-
-
I adore forests in fog.
-
I adore that spooky otherworldy air.
-
From Ayrick on December 04, 2018 I felt a bit lost in this chapter. I'm loving the story so far but Leviathan confuses me. I don't get it. Damian is 3 people inside? Is Zoquir just one? Does Zoquir now have like 7 piercing and prices on his arm and a gross tramp stamp? He's a personal whore so why would he need prices on his wrist? I never want the reader feeling lost. Time to go back and edit for clarity. The piercings are for mundane obfuscation. Next chapter will have alot of world building
-
If it's more sci-fi Since genetic editing became common place. The modder scene grew hardcore. What nature had produced. People became obsessed with tweaking and improving. At first, it started simply with exotic eye and hair colors. Gradually turned to skin colors and exotic limbs. And after a few generations, it wasn’t enough. Entire genomes had to be resequenced and scrambled. Not just in themselves but in their pets. Their plants. Everything. Designer diseases, Outlandish symptoms and worse became fashionable. Nature had become obsolete and uncool.
-
So my parents have an English mastiff now. Not quite sure how I missed such a massive dog.
-
I’m so jealous! I want a Neapolitan Mastiff. Dem wrinkles...
-
-
So my parent’s washer exploded.
Its not funny… Its hilarious. I’m visiting and apparently, the chip shortcircuited and kept filling the washer past its capacity.
I walk into a tidal wave of water and their fluffy cat sailed past me looking like a drowned rat clinging to the wash basket.
So off to home depot in the morning.
- Show previous comments 1 more
-
Maybe
-
An ad stealth merged with my screen when I was looking at the status updates, so all I saw was:
“So my parent’s washer exploded.
Its not funny… Its hilarious. I’m visiting and apparently, the chip
DQ Holiday Blizzards! “So I clicked on expecting a totally different story. Now I’m hungry.
-
The good news washer cost under 600 for a 7 year warranty but we had to purchase the hoses separately.
-
I hate being mistaken for a manager. A long shift and roughly five minutes in I’m getting blasted for something a coworker is doing.
-
Well that sucks
-
Maybe it’s a good sign to start asking for a promotion? (and a raise)
-
Haaaaa…. I know that feel. I was the de-facto manager for almost two years before my boss was willing to provide the title officially…. because as long as they don’t give you the title, you don’t command the pay. Your job sounds like it is full of a-holes, too. Screw them.
-
-
From ANON - ShadowDancer on November 27, 2018 Don’t stop there!!! I liked this one a lot. It had all the elements I like in a fan-fic. Thank you. You are correct I’m not stopping there. Events are slowly picking up speed.
-
ooooo. @Jaydee Tentacle Christmas extravaganaza?
-
Ho. Ho. Ho. Don’t lie he’s got room for at least two more. One more if you count the misses.
-
What if that’s the one night a year he allows himself to be happy? I mean being evil incarnate must be hard and hardly anyone ever prays for the poor guy.
-
Becareful of a stiff breeze then. Or else the fence will cave in and you do both. Aka I saw my tentacles doing things to Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe.
-
Gonna try to be fluffy this time round.
-
o.O
Somehow.
My story Grand Inquisition went full vampire without me noticing.
-
- Desiderius Price, JayDee and Sinfulwolf
-
2
-
1
- Report
