InvidiaRed

Well considering it would be something like this. Ann smiled as they walked the mall. “Kim you’ve been such a goodgirl this whole time. I think you deserve a reward.” Kim’s heart thundered in her chest. She was mortified. They were in a mall for god’s sake. Too many people. Someone would hear, Someone would see. Ann’s hand gracefully sank into her purse and suddenly Kim’s panties tingled to life. A gentle soft shuddering. Kim gasped and quickly put her hand over her mouth. “Do keep up Kim, Or I’ll turn it to max and everyone will know.” “Mom no-” Kim begged as her mother’s hand reached into her purse and the shuddering of her panties increased. it was just a little louder too. Ann trotted into the shoe store as she turned to her careful moving daughter. Her hand rested just so easily off the side of her purse. Ann wiggled her fingers just enough to get the point across.

http://members.adult-fanfiction.org/profile.php?no=1296877009&view=story&zone=original I would like some reviews.

What is the antagonist for? What genre is the story in? How complex is the main protagonist? What are the interactions between protagonist and antagonist? Are they friendly and jovial? Or are they die hard someone is going to die the moment one of them sees each other? Sometimes the story just needs a complete monster. And sometimes the whys are much more interesting than the antagonist themselves. The most interesting questions come to mind if the main character is the villain of the story.

Why not include links? I’m always looking for something to read and sometimes all you need is a little promotion. http://members.adult-fanfiction.org/profile.php?no=1296877009&view=story&zone=original

http://www.behindthename.com/ Usually. However, Sometimes the character’s name just pops out. Fully formed.

Rape is an unfortunate reality of life. It regretfully happens as the stats show https://www.bjs.gov/index.cfm?ty=tp&tid=317 Neither gender has immunity. Though this denial of male rape seems to slowly be lessening. http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2014/04/male_rape_in_america_a_new_study_reveals_that_men_are_sexually_assaulted.html It depends on what the usage of the rape is. Is it for shock value? An unfortunate turn of events? Is it a make or break moment for the character. Does the character refuse to let such a horror break them. Do they move past it or ultimately are they stuck in permanent victim mode. The context is what matters.

Well if you want to be crude let her straight up say “Fuck me” Or “The only cure for my baby rabies is your dick” More straightforward would be “I want your babies” “I desire children.Would you oblige?" “Knock me up” etc….

Ideally don't’ be afraid to use the fives stages of grief. https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/ Don’t be afraid to play up the horror of your characters actions. They did after all just do something emotionally devastating. Bonus points if it was unintentional, accidental or worst of all on purpose.

Negativity happens however, You cannot and must not let negative remarks chip away at something that makes you happy. Its not the end of the world if someone absolutely hates your work. It’ll hurt but its just one review. If you want more reviews promote your story. Do not compare yourself to anyone. You are you. If grammer and incorrect words are dragging your story down. Try a beta Your story is as valid as anyone else’s. Don't ever think for a moment that your story does not have worth. Don’t compare your stories to others. Harsh Criticism is inherent in writing. But don't forget you the writer are often the worst critic of all. Is there anything constructive in that criticism or is it just straight up trolling/flaming. Some people are weirdly harsh when they want the author to improve. You aren’t perfect. You are going to make mistakes. Criticism loses most of its bite when you accept this. Rephrase or clarify but don’t ever stop writing. Always strive to grow, do better Don’t lose sight of why you are writing this story. Allow your story to be itself.

When it comes to cats you could name them anything to make them yours there's plenty of cat gods that could be the name of their race as a whole. As well as giving them their characteristics and such The children of Anhur would thus be warlike. But in keeping with the norse theme they could easily be Frigg's or Freyja's favorites since they both have connections to cats.

I'll glad to put my experiences to use since I love it and both genders are completely different when it comes to oral sex. Unless I'm accidentally necromancing an old thread in which case I'm sorry. But a blow job has a job in its name for a reason but the results are always worth it even if you don't deepthroat or swallow. If the character is receiving a blow job for the first time. Typically you tend to focus on the aspects of it. A person's mouth is warm and wet. Obvious I know. But the statement is quite different when the genitals are involved since you are feeling it with the most sensitive and nerve rich part of the body it can be overwhelming. You feel the lips being to move up and down. You feel the movement of the tongue as it moves against the glans. The glans (the tip of the cock) is the most sensitive part of a rather sensitive appendage. You are going to feel the saliva coat the cock. As the glans plunges into that warm wet hole. You can feel the throat muscles move. Now depending on how far they are willing to take it is different. A blow job with just the mouth you aren't going to feel the throat muscles move as much. Just the tip will get that particular sensation. The gentle suction on shaft. Receiving it one should absolutely feel the inhale and the exhale coming through the nose on the pubic region. You want the giver to breathe. All this is happening in a symphony of sensation all at once. A proper skilled blowjob you are never going to feel teeth. Since its takes alot of practice to perfectly cover the teeth with the lips. Deepthroating is way different than just a regular blow job. You aren't just going to feel the throat muscles move you are going to feel the inside of the throat like a warm wet. moving tube. This is where you aren't going to feel them inhale or exhale and its a matter of preference if they go down during the exhale or going down before the inhale. Regardless this is where you are going to feel the most of the throat and muscle movement. This is the part where the tongue gets into play caressing, teasing the most sensitive part for as long as they can comfortably hold their breathe and that is the point where they back off and you'll feel the inhale as well as the backward gliding motion. If you are a complete and utter asshole this is part where you force them to stay as giver begins to gag and the throat muscles goes into overdrive trying to clear the blockage in the throat. This mostly happens in BDSM scenes or if the receiver is a utter asshole who deserves to get beat down as painfully as possible. But it can happen in real life. Its not a wise thing to do since you are absolutely going to piss off the one giving you a tonsil message in a blow job you don't want to feel the tonsil that will cause vomiting. Obvious is obvious. One should always remember to be kind to the giver for they are pleasuring you with an orifice that comes with an assortment of teeth. Therefore, There should be trust on both sides. Now an inexperienced blowjob you are going to be feeling those teeth. It provokes an a rather uncomfortable sensation as the teeth rub on the sensitive flesh. If their teeth is too sharp they shouldn't be giving a blow job in the first place. The uncomfortable sensation sensation feels similar as rubbing your cock on a bunch of warm, moist assortment of rocks. A tongue ring or bar doesn't change the feeling too much but it will change how the tongue interacts caressing the shaft. Now at every point in a blowjob the suction will begin to get little stronger.The giver will pick up speed gliding up and down. The warmth will get more warm and the wetness more wet. This occurs right at the moment preceding ejaculation with the climax if you will. This is at the point where the gliding up and down and the sensations of the warmth and wetness and the feel of lips and all the feeling of the throat muscles moving coalesce in the crescendo of a mouth symphony of sensation that is almost unbearable. This is the pointed where you pass the point of no return and the orgasm rips right through you. And ejaculation/ Cumming is unavoidable. As you release that all consuming need into the mouth that gave you pleasure. Where the giver can decide to spit or swallow. That is a blow job.

I'm mainly looking for a beta that can look for grammar errors and spelling mistakes. Those two common errors that easily stump writers of all kinds also one that can kinda push description. Since that is a problem area for me and I'm always open to suggestions for improvement. 1. My current story is Sedition And it's mainly about a false prophet being usurped by a dark lord right before his master plan of revenge on the gods after a millennium of planning. He turns the tables at the last moment and ends up the elvish companion to the elf who is the god chosen hero. As he recuperates from his humiliating defeat. Its going to have Bigotry, Mind-control, Corruption, Man on Man action, Tentacles and Torture. At-least one orgy of varying genders and one scene where he seduces a queen. Its going to have serious scenes since there are going to be apocalyptic consequences for having the temerity to want vengeance on the gods. To say nothing of the reason why he chose this particular time to spring his master plan. (Don't want to spoil too much.) I'll be happy to look at any takers works. I post one per week on Saturdays. 2. My second original story is a sequel taking place two hundred years after the events of my story Demonic. Titled Maelstrom I haven't finished the prologue yet. Realms are merging and the seven gates of heaven are shattering under the onslaught of the maelstrom that is wreaking havoc on the realms and inhabitants of limbo. Ned is caught up in maelstrom. Don't have a list of all the tags yet. I'll post links for sedition and demonic below. http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107808 http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107662 Thank you for your time.

Its more probable than one would think. after all the times lines create a perfect opportunity for this crossover. The final battle of hogwarts occurs in the early hours May 2nd 1998 hikers and campers begin to become victims of bizarre homicides in the arklay mountains exactly in that month. Raccoon city rapidly devolves into chaos by September 24 and is finally destroyed by October 1 at dawn. That's four months of possibility with an explosive climax. Here's the challenge for Harry Potter fans. We know the muggle side of events. How does the wizarding world handle it? Therein lies the challenge. For while the wizarding world has begun to recover from the second rise of He-who-must-not-be-named. They are unaware of the danger coming from the muggle world where the results of unethical experimentation of viral weaponry are about to be felt for the first time in and around the midwest city of Raccoon. To say nothing of the various umbrella branches in europe and the horrors they've got cooking up in their labs. The wizarding world is separate from the muggle one but a mutagenic airborne virus cares little for boundaries. There's no telling what could happen when the product of mad science and magic collide. There are few things on the cool meter that can compare to dragons but come on Mutant Zombie Dragons at the least rank pretty high and keep in mind dragon blood has healing properties so the only thing higher on that list is perhaps Dragon B.O.Ws. The Nundu itself breathes virulent disease and is pretty much a thing of horror; being that it takes a hundred wizards working in tandem just to take a single one down. There is also enough mystery to Umbrella that its quite possible they've been getting subtle aid from practitioners of the Dark Arts. The wizarding world has laws against the creation of new magical creatures. But if anything I bet there is no law about creating new creatures the muggle way. An unscrupulous company such as Umbrella only cares about results and practitioners of the Dark Arts only care about power. Both are right at that point where utmost secrecy and paranoia abound and the only thing that matters is results. To the practitioners of the Dark Arts that challenge would be welcome for a chance at power at the expense of foolish muggles meddling with the foundations of life itself. For that hydra that arises no matter how many of its heads are cut off its versatility is unmatched. One only has to be ruthless enough to grasp that usefulness and make those results. Any pairing open for the possibilities are endless as the potential of mayhem and cacophonous moans of the many dead. Goodluck and remember the various wikis can be quite helpful. ;D

I mean just add creepy carnival music and it works for most. but how does one make a decent one? Is it mostly character details? Or is it adding relevant details and how other character react to it? Is it partly atmosphere? Or is it a combination of the above with the character's actions?

Since I've finished the game I've gotten three main ideas for Dante's inferno 1.needs tentacle love 2.Dante X Mark Antony X Cleopatra 3.Dante X Lucifer

Futa as in futanari? sounds interesting so I might do it research time

thanks

Finished http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600085399 Now for some shut eye Honesty is a virtue so feel free to comment

Its been awhile since Dante's Inferno came out so in the spirit of Rule 34 I challenge those with similar minds to do what they do best Fanfic

Someone else made a licker X Claire http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600085143 but don't worry mine will done

Thanks for the input Honesty is alway appreciated it might become a story after all. - InvidiaRed

I did mange to find a back up copy so I'm back on track not only am I'm going to publish when I find time but I'm going to lengthen it and sadly it won't be today schoolwork and all so consider it a very late Xmas gift when it is finished

Hi I'm looking for a Beta for my first story Surviving Lust what happens when a Succubus falls for a vampire slayer? All sorts of things This story is a slash with M/F as well Action/ Violence I need An openminded Beta to proof read my stories and someone with great grammar and punctuation usages and( maybe spelling I'm not perfect) as well as someone to converse on ideas and such My email is available upon request InvidiaRed

I finished it but I missplaced it on one of my many thumbdrives have mercy I'll post it as soon as I unmisplace it

Winter Break just started so if I start now you might get it Chirstmas day