InvidiaRed

Might go with that one I suggested awhile ago. Santa, his gimp, wife and the quest to find his next ho.

Halfway through mine

So who is hosting Christmas?

From GeorgeGlass on October 31, 2019 Immunda Your style of just one or two sentences per paragraph is unusual, but it didn't really bother me. Although some of the sentence fragments did (eg, "A disturbing warbling laugh"). I like the expression "Gods pass me by." Lots of Halloween-appropriate imagery. I think the most vivid was the burnt baby crawling out of the hole, "gurgling happily as its blackened flesh crackled." The Mortane Pantheon runs on appeasement. Each requires specific sacrifices for the privilege of being… Unmolested. A privilege they can(and do) revoke at whim. Or to be even bigger jerks “Give” Their favored to another member. So even if you do appease one for the moment. Well, you didn’t appease another and the cycle continues. Being favored is largely seen as a fate much worse than death. “Gods pass me by” Is the closest to prayer all the inhabitants know. They’re pleading for the gods to ignore them. The lucky few who manage to flee Mortane are struck by a hardline cultural differences. Highly superstitious, Largely illiterate and dangerously xenophobic. Meeting the larger world and surviving is a challenge. But those who survive all share one thing in common they dare not return. Otok- child sacrifice by immolation, The burning of knowledge and places of learning. Zuqvi- Her appeasement requires the ritual murder of adults by children. Xiljh- The child must slay the parent they love most while it watches and then let it drink from their youthful heart-blood. Vzfeb- The willful spread of sexual disease and the brutal execution of healers. Etc…

its midrange fast food. Kinda harsh to say hell on earth.

From PlagueClover on October 29, 2019 Immunda by InvidiaRed Okay, so your style always takes me a moment to get used to. All the quick paragraphs and snaps from one action to the next. The pacing is lightning quick, but man... Okay, I shuddered. Quite a bit at the end there. Though, I kinda have to note that the moment you used 'Justicar' it suddenly became Mass Effect in my brain lol. Anyway, this was violent and horrific and dark, and so very fucking twisted. Which is nice, you know, to get an expresso shot of some super messed up horror right before Halloween, so this does an excellent job of that. Well done! Justicar was the best way i could to paint what I wanted as quickly as possible but its accurate. Haha. Didn’t want to use paladin. Overused.

From JayDee on October 28, 2019 Immunda by InvidiaRed …thought I might have some missionary position jokes but, holy fuck, another one making me Holy Fuck at he end. That is one crapsack shithole of a nation you’ve got there, but an interesting one as well. The kind of wham moment here after she thinks she’s cleansed the altar… that’s some fucking good horror that is. I feel bad for the baby like. The ending was really grim. So good job on that, too! I sure as fuck didn’t see it coming. Y’all are taking the horror seriously this year! Mortane is a hell on earth for a reason. Yeah. Nothing like cleansing an evil god out of an alter just for another to be ready and waiting.

Have to say. Got to respect Asesemana

No, It does make sense. Cockroaches offend the whole swarm principal in our brain. When you see an adult cockroach it means there are more nearby the you don't see. And that uncertainty opens straight to fear of the unknown.

I’ve learned alot from this about myself. Walking biological syringes are just a straight no for me. In addition to Weevils, Kissing Bugs, Lice, Bed bugs and probably anything else in that Class.

You Are Correct. The Gods Of Mortane can’t torture anyone else if they’re fixated on her like they are. She now completely understands the Demon Emperor but unlike him she has strength of character. They cannot corrupt someone who has fought evil all her life. She knows all the tricks and most importantly she has a goddess who she knows for a fact has never let her down. Not once. There’s no doubt or uncertainty to play off of. She may not be able to hold them off forever but then she doesn’t have to. While she can’t face them. She can distract them. Since she knows her goddess isn’t impulsive. The Hammerstrike may take sometime but its coming and Trias is fully committed to giving her goddess all the time she needs. Trias has been permanently rendered barren as a result of the unbirthing.

Reality like to reminds us that nightmares walk among us every day. That pic is horrifying.

Besides, It is a slice of amber. A moment that is profoundly yours. So you can see yourself improve as a wordsmith.

But Darling. Like making chocolate ganache Or a rich chocolate cake (An extra yolk is the secret) It requires sugar. Horror requires a helping of light-hearted brevity. You can't have horror all the time or it gets stale, quaint. inexcusably tired. Especially towards the cynical among us.

From InBrightestDay on October 21, 2019 Immunda Okay, time to be really pedantic: horseflies don't have mandibles (well, to be even more pedantic, they do, but the mandibles are part of the proboscis) Moving on... Well, it was inevitable, I suppose, that at least one of these stories was going to upset me, and this one did! I think you did a really good job describing how the horror of the place works, how the citizens are all terrified pretty much all the time and it drives them into a sort of feral madness. The un-birthing scene at the end is pretty damn upsetting to read, and it was kind of stomach-churning imagining what is going to happen to Trias afterward and how gory that's going to get. Guess it's a common idea to have a female paladin or cleric of some good deity or something like that be defeated and raped by dark forces, and this certainly plays out that basic plot well. It's also always just...really upsetting for me to read, I suppose. Sorry I keep using that word. Thanks for the review. It seems I overshot a bit. I was aiming for uncomfortable. Definitely not upsetting. To be utmost correct. Horseflies do have “Stabbing mouthparts, two pairs of blades and a sponge.” Mandibles was the best way I figured to shorthand it. Proboscis tends to bring up images of mosquitoes and an itch. Having been bitten by a horsefly while hiking was painful and I have never hiked without insect repellant again. Mortane is easily the darkest nation I’ve created. A literal hell on earth. The inhabitants commit sins and do evil to protect themselves. In a roundabout way doing evil keeps them safe. It damns them in the process but damnation is a better state than what they currently have to endure. It makes them unappealing background noise to their vile gods. They will sell their souls for cheap because demons will at somepoint grow bored. Being favored will make even the nicest citizen go on a murderous rampage because being cut down is vastly preferred to receiving the gods undivided attention. The Demon Emperor himself was the first unfortunate soul to gain all the favor of the gods of Mortane. He was Unpersoned. No one would go near him, no one would talk to him, there are no records of his existence and he endured this for a decade. When he snapped he had become little more than a reflection of the gods who made him suffer. His soul mangled beyond recognition and twisted. The instant death spell that blasted his soul into the afterlife was the first act of mercy he had ever received. It was the moment the civilized gods aghast realized something was incredibly wrong with Mortane. In a manner much like cityfolk that are introduced via the most unfortunate circumstances to their feral rural cousins. Deliverance+The Hills have eyes+Silent Hill= Mortane. Trias never called out to her goddess. Because she was terrified of what the gods would do to a being she loves. She wasn’t willing to put her goddess in danger. It was at this moment her goddess realized that the bonds of faith work both ways. Trias ignores the pleas of her goddess to leave Mortane. Trias never leaves Mortane. She gets back up and heads deeper into the heart of Mortane. Interesting fact of the day. Sodomy is not the reason Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. It was the fact the inhabitants were stupid enough to break sacred hospitality. It was this intolerable trespass that brought about the destruction of the cities. To intend to violate divine messengers is the very definition “They had it coming.” This isn't the end of the story. The goddess demands justice from her fellow shepherds of civilization. An Accord is reached and the gods assemble a divine host. The goddess herself will go to war. She will not allow this ignoble suffering upon her justicar. She can’t A line in the sand has been drawn, The world will tremble as the full horrors of war are unleashed. To do anything else is an admission of weakness. There will be no diplomacy, No quarter given or taken. Either, This vile tribe will be put down like the rabid monstrosities they are... Or the civilized gods will be massacred to the last.

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