InvidiaRed

Might do another. Since my brain has been shotgunning ideas and stuff.

From JayDee on April 06, 2020 Section 5! The new chapter! And while I said I’d probably only do a chapter or a oneshot review in exchange I kinda got into this and read the whole thing, so when there’s another chapter after this please tag me on the forum or something and I’ll try and take a look! Haha <3 I’m glad you enjoyed so much I’ll try to remember to let you know when I upload another chapter. Nice to see Mafalda’s cameo – she was only briefly in it, I think, and then mostly being worn by Hermione, but I liked the character. Two bits I liked especially here – the line about ol’ Tom killing the previous minister for being useless, that was pretty funny. You can see how he’d get away with it during a zombie apocalypse too. Apocalyptic events accelerated fast in this story. Rufus Scrimgeour was poised to take over as minister of magic being the head of the auror office. But, Since the disaster accelerated so fast. Voldermort to his credit dropped the charade, berated Fudge for his incompetence and just straight up slew him. He could have been considered an usurper but when he had Harry captured within a span of a couple hours of this. Harry and Hermione didn’t even get off the hogwarts train at the end of year six when this all went down. Most notions of resistance died the moment Harry endorsed him.As in desperate times the wizarding world looked towards Harry Potter to save them. Neither of them are happy with the deal or this arrangement but desperation makes strange bed fellows. When the world you thought you knew suddenly changes without warning The Dark Lord Voldermort is keeping the wizarding community functioning. His Death Eaters have managed to more or less keep the peace. Even as the dead swiftly swarmed the muggle world. The second bit was Harry getting Bellatrix to shut up with his thanks, that was just cool! Harry is also being sneaky. He told them fire works but no mention of destroying the head or what spells work on these true inferi. He’s absolutely following the letter of the deal. But also, directly showing resistance by ignoring the spirit of the deal. Clenched teeth “teamwork”. And there’s more info on why Harry is going along with the bad guys too, which clarifies some of it. He’s probably as worthy as some of the others with only a muggle-born mother anyway! Bah, but, well, Bellatrix is mad as a bag of spanners. Part of the deal was that Harry had to take the Dark Mark. And because of this Voldy will always know where harry is and the other magical brand they all were marked with while mocking Gryffindor also has another purpose.

From JayDee on April 05, 2020 Onto section 4/actual part 3 thanks to the prologue clarification! And it starts with Harry in a tent pointing his wand at Hermione’s entrance, her flaps, and muffling, which fulfils my wand gag quota. Best thing in this part by far is Hermione just cutting the damn thing in half an impaling it on a coat rack. Absolutely awesome moment. Good use of the old repair spell as well. Really fits in that they aren’t just ordinary folks dealing with this thing but magic users who can keep their environment in decent condition. Wizard Kind have a much higher chance of survival of a zombie apocalypse. Wands don’t run out of bullets even if they can be overrun by a horde like anything else. And remotely sealing doors means that quite simply. Wizards can outlast even heavily fortified muggle locations. To say nothing of a wizard’s ability to repair damage. Where as muggles would have to abandon a location due to a breach. One thing that stuck out, His shield kept the dust from flowing out of the security center. An unseen barrier kept the debris from flowing out of the room. Kind of feels like it is saying the same thing twice? I’m not sure if it is intended repetition or something left over from an edit? Most likely the latter I’ll fix.

Haha. Chapter and paragraph?

Found it

From JayDee on April 03, 2020 Part 3! Curiously chapter numbered part 2. Part one a prologue?Indeed it is. Well, no sex here but a little violence! I jumped when the hand smacking the door. Worked like a movie jump scare that. There was also a line I really liked “It screeched in a manner of a thing that dwelled in cold and dark being forced into warmth and light.” That’s good stuff that is! That was an impromptu thought I was gonna take it out but ended up leaving it in. The duel with Henry… well Harry wasn’t gonna lose was he? I guess it has some implications later? Funny thing, Harry gets used a nick name for Henrys, like that Prince Harry guy being a Henry. Is that a hint of a connection between them? Nice to see Harry not being a dick about it though. There’s always that feeling that James would have been. While, Harry can be a but of a dick. They’ve all been manhandled by a death eater dominated ministry of magic. Harry wants to be different from the ones who imprisoned them and make no mistake it is a prison. They’re sacrificial lambs and Harry is the only one who knows the true details of it. As part of the deal he made. At least kill it with fire still works. “Zombie has burning sensation after bondage game” possibly not quite the right headline.

actually, I can’t find that particular typo x.X

From JayDee on April 02, 2020 Part 2 – First comes the violence, then comes the sex! The unseen Bellatrix feels very much in character. Crazy. Violent. Hanging out in men’s restrooms and making things explode. Heck of a mental image on that poor janitor. Then again, he may have had it coming. Blowing brains everywhere does stop a zombie. Now with the guy from the tent – I think that is an OC? I don’t remember them as a character, while going with the name Argus in this setting gives me a mental image of Filch on his knees blowing Harry. Which actually works. Don’t tell the cat. Having shaken both that, and a many eyed Greek guy out of mind I found I could envisage Mr Valentine pretty well. Noticeably shorter wand… heh, I’ll never not see a double entendre in wand length comparisons. I’m sure many readers are the same. The BJ was hot! Harry a little nonplussed, on a rooftop, just getting drained like that is a fun image. Surprised it hasn’t proven more popular really! Muggletum Finivi Is a whenever upload definitely not dead. But I find Tarnished Lion and My original stories take up the most time. Its both a double entendre and very compliant with HP’s wandlore. His personality has something lacking. Sex scenes for me are personally the hardest to write.

<3

From JayDee on April 01, 2020 Solid summary there. “Overrun by the unrelenting dead” – hopefully not a prophesy of the current world. Part 1 – Dawn of the Dead vibe, except with witch and wizard! I thought that bit near the start with the military falling back, the tide coming, the muggles still not going down without a fight was super evocative of zombie apocalypse fights. There’s a horde and Harry is lucky to be on the roof. I nailed what I was going for then I also really enjoyed trying them trying the different spells on mangled arm security guy and naturally Hermione finds something that works, but it feels very much like something that would work for a zombie – restrain ‘em! Fear of the unknown can make things scarier than what they are. Well considering what story it is. Finding what works is paramount. They’ll get better at it. I’ve also always appreciated a good “disarming” gag! Thanks A couple of broomsticks would presumably deal with that only-on-second-floor issue once the escalators are out, but if they don’t have them… Naturally disappointed that Erecto is for the tent rather than a cock…. Ok, ok, one dick joke here. At least I didn’t mention tent pegging. Wait. Shit. Any negatives… There’s a few typos I guess! Got ‘be’ for ‘before’ – with it being a while since you wrote it you might well spot ‘em reading through now. X.x I’ll look it over.

Can’t wait

Oh JayDee, talk dirty to me =p Your particular brand of chaos is quite enjoyable so I’ll leave it to your wild card imagination.

To be fair, I did review Social Distancing

It’s known well enough in D&D that powerful elves grow their houses instead of building them. They do this through a variety of means such as wood shaping and tree shepherding. There are two ways to do this. One they set up a foundation and a rough estimate of what they are looking for and then through elven craft warp the tree(s) around the the foundations and bam suddenly a house. Version two requires more potent elven craft but they plant a seed and will their home into being and the tree is the catalyst. Version three is entirely woodshaping and its mastery but essentially through ties, divets and other materials you can force a sapling to into growing into a certain direction and shape with magic easing the downtime of years into mere moments. Version 4. The house is more extra dimensional but the tree is essential the home.As long as no one directly inspects the tree its just a tree. Version 5. The home is its own stable sub dimension and the only way in is to interact with the tree in some manner. Version 6. There is no tree but the home is cloaked to look like one. Version 7. The tree is cloaked to look like a different mundane tree until entrance is allowed. Version 8 The tree itself is its own dimension. Now we got all that said. Depending on what your going for. First off the more natural description. You’re going to have to go for more natural looking shapes rather than the artificial geometries humanity uses. Play up on the lack of mortar. There’s no need when you can make the tree grow and merge its branches into a solid impermeable barrier. Or make the roots twist together into stairs. Ex: Greenleaf thimble-bottoms the third’s dwelling was not simply boorishly built it was grown over the course of years. Its terraces were painstakingly woven from its many branches. Indeed no artless violence of any kind was needed for such a distinguished dwelling. And no the dwarf is not allowed in nor is his axe allowed. Indeed, With the mastery of Greenleaf’s craft is such that the very living wood of the tree itself conformed to his will. The gentle slopes and precise measurements has enabled Greenleaf to craft with tender loving care his own accommodations. As he skillfully hollowed out the larger layers for this decadently luxurious experience while maintaining a healthy heartwood interior. Human: “Its a tree-house.” Dwarf: “Incoming!” – Suddenly the entire dwelling is aflame and Greenleaf unexpectedly homeless and everyone watches as his house burns down. Human: And this is why building is better than growing your house. As even the dullest dwarf is aware stone isn’t flammable

Considering she hunts the dregs of society. She’d probably have the possibility to earn a boon. She is a required part of the ecosystem. Now I got it in my head they should definitely meet.

I swear I wasn’t stealing your dialogue from the future! No, in all seriousness, the characters are different (a jorōgumo and a death god) but they share in that same bittersweet experience of loving someone you know you’ll outlive. That line of dialogue in particular is one I’ll be using in The Spider House, which is to be the formal introduction of Yua and Cody and how they became a couple. It’s what I’ll be working on after I finish the last chapter of WitS. Duncan and Yua would get along. Well at least until she figures out his ties to the underworld. Though I do see a funny moment when and if she ever asks his age and he tells her he’s 299,317 years older than her. Haha. That bittersweetness is related to why he incarnates and changes names.

<3