InvidiaRed

From JayDee on April 18, 2021 Glykon is best boy! Riding around like a goddamn feather boa on a giant! Healing the heck out of the big ol’ fluffer. Literally every time Glykon is speaking or doing something is awesome. I wanna see the further adventures of the snake with the puppets. This isn’t exaggerated hyperbole, Glykon really is great and you’ve done just amazing with the character, his dialogue and actions. Glykon was a genius to invoke the same being who envenomed the great wolf. I wasn’t sure if the double negative near the start – ‘mother didn't not have serpent eyes’ – was intentional. She’s a being that doesn’t quite fit in either place. Hel doesn’t quite fit either being a goddess of the old and the infirm, the normies who couldn’t die gloriously on the battlefield and head for Valhalla they all end up at her hearth. In a sense she’s the original Helga Hufflepuff. The one who got everyone else but cares for them all the same. Of all the asgard she is the closest to humanity. The old and the infirm like to talk and so she is aware of things happening on midgard second to Odin. Asgardians tolerate her but they have all heard the eddas from the skalds of old. They all are very aware on how the story ends. So much fear because of prophecy. Prophecy is being broken is irrelevant. You could say she’s outgrowing her role.There is fear there who will she become… Or who did she became? After all, it could be the way Hel thinks of things, and similarly when there’s the mention near the end of part 2 of the warship having IBMs – was this meant to be ICBMs or is there an IBM weapon I didn’t know about? (I had an image of it showing up with some old 386s running Doom, although IBM have made much more than that) Techincally one doesn’t have to put the C. I’ll fix it Duncan having a lawyer and that lawyer working with Hollywood to appear in the exorcist movies was kinda an unexpected twist. Has this been stealth Exorcist fanfiction all along? An ancient god was flattered that humanity remembered just don’t bring up the sequel lul. He messed with the cast when he could’ve done so much worse(The actualy movie set had enough spooky set going on that it was considered Haunted Is there any cocksucking in Hel or is she more of a ladies Goddess of Death? Putting a label on a deity is a bit hubristic but Hel fell for a being that similar to herself. Someone who could understand her dualistic nature and Melione in particular is both Olympic and Underworld, A goddess of madness,nightmares and of the restless dead. Hel is sterile and can’t have kids but like her mother she is loyal to her partner.( In that sense she’s the closest to Duncan) They got catching up to do. Fenrir was a strong second favorite character here – badly wounded, just getting the fuck on with it without complaining. Getting your assbeat and seeing your own death tends to cause reflection. He found a being he couldn’t overpower. He knows more than Hel who while in the dark isn’t daft. The world serpent however beats them both on knowledge. Did the orb of venom get taken anywhere for a purpose or was it just a bit of toxic waste “Chuck it in a pit and forget about it” disposal? Its primordial nature lent itself well to creation. That’s where most of Glykon’s power went. Changing it into a palm tree, Fun fact, the palm tree is the desert version of the tree of life. Glykon couldn’t cure the venom so he merely made it something else. Something much less dangerous but also showcasing that this supposedly dead goddess isn’t quite gone. (Aka another incarnation of Duncan) “She was a monstrosity, Lucifer would absolutly and resolutely admit he had never been so flaccid in his life. The sight of her alone made Lucifer feel like he should try dick.” Lamashtu is ‘the” original bogey man the goddess of sudden infant death syndrome. A monster of the ancient world grown mighty and unbowed and one of the few surviving children of Anu. No one not even the angels themselves at their strongest ever managed to get close to killing her. Lucifer is a hedonist and while he may not like humanity. The easy life and comforts humanity has invented and or provided means Lucifer is very status quo. Unwilling to allow his creature comforts to perish. He’s very much in denial but in his heart of hearts. Prohuman no matter what he says to the contrary. That line coming out of nowhere was both awesome and hilarious. Fuckin’ nice work! So… yeah, only negative as before, a bit choppy. Could use maybe a spellcheck. Otherwise some good characterisation and lines bringing it through! Could you show me where the choppy bits are?

Keeping kermit tho cause I find it hilarious <3 and now its canon and all your fault

adizhsignin si a taebdaed rehtaf

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109700&amp;chapter=3

While Glykon knows much more than he lets on and a bit of a Klepto. No one is asking the right questions. Nope, He’s there for genuine altruistic reasons. Duncan is his actual grandpappy. And you can guess who his pappy is.

From JayDee on April 06, 2021 I definitely had a little trouble with threading some of the bits together on this one, but I assume the surrealist side is kind of the point with the various gods/entities and past/future elements mixed in through dream and ending? Glykon did say that Logan would share a dream. -The ancient/powerful god with the snake, I was worried for a moment there it was gonna turn into a Harry Potter crossover :p I guess that Logan couldn’t intervene because it was more of a vision of the past rather than actual time travel? Duncan repeats the worst moments of his entire existence when he sleeps. The incarnations may be interred in history but they are still him and he is still them. A reference to a moment of awesome to essentially tell Marduk himself momento mori just after his crowning moment of glory. It seemed to be covering some of the issues for why they had their falling out with the angels of that world? Or possibly I misunderstood that! Kinda wondered if those feathers later on in the present/future were tied to that somehow. Foreshadowing and also who did he see after that? *nudge* @InBrightestDay will be happy when they eventually catch up. I definitely couldn’t tell for sure if Logan was in the future as he woke up, or, since neither Hel nor Glykon had spotted anything if it was only a timeskip once he hit the mailbox and found it stuffed full of crap. An entire year worth of ads and other spam and mail. Duncan enchanted his mailbox so it could hold much more than it should. That said The Year That Never Was- Is essentially that, reality is unstable from the damage and when someone tried to force their will on it snapped almost everyone a year into the future. Mass confusion and chaos even without the pandemic. Glykon’s whole bit was great – loved the line about a god and a doorknob – but still just loving the heck out of that character in general! Glykon is a treat to write I find it adorable that he’s definitively has this grandson/ granddad dynamic with Logan despite being way older than Logan. Not a child but not a teenager just yet. One last thing – on the forum you said Southern Wind but the title here is Southwestern Wind – I see that a ‘southern wind’ picked up in the story so was that just a typo/old title used on the actual chapter or is it a shifting wind? =p Part two will be Hel’s POV

From JayDee on March 14, 2021 Always feels a little annoying to see a story with 5000+ views and no reviews/only one person reviewing. Folks’re clearly checking it out, could give some feedback. Ah well. Valentine’s Employee Only Services. Hey! You’re saying you can’t write sex scenes but bam! That’s a brief but fun coupling you got there. I especially liked that kiss followed by Argus getting Harry inside. Character development can be tricky. Argus wants to help in his own way. Sex scenes are hard but I’m getting better? “Shadows that shouldn’t be there that sort of thing.” …does Harry suspect Peter Pan is coming for them? :p I kid I kid! Don’t tempt me =p This one did feel a little choppier – another pass for typos would probably help it some, but otherwise another solid part. And not just Argus’ solid part. ooof will try to make sure the next one is better.

Satsuki is an incredible and complex character without a doubt she’s holding back. She’s an apex human at the pinnacle of human power and she makes it clear Junketsu this alien organism that mimics clothing serves her. Not the other way around. Symbiotes such as Venom and even Carnage itself would end up her bitch. That said you characterize her perfectly. While she can absolutely destroy the base she’s absolutely aware that doing so would deprive everyone of this perceived only place of refuge, possibly kill everyone including herself as well as potentially make every threat that this city holds aware of their existence. And the whole party? Team? Cast? they all have no idea whats out there. These are their first days but they already know this place holds horror and death. She’s perfectly in character cautiously holding back. I actually disagree, I think you nerfed the Hierophant not Satsuki. Its existence implies not just Xenomorphs but an idea of infestation, I do have to ask the character’s aren’t inhaling Chemical A0-3959X.91 – 15 are they? Since that implies anything from the protomorphs and all the nastiness of the engineers genocidal but masterful weaponization of life itself.

Satsuki locked eyes with her, steel in her eyes and voice. “Alexander of Macedon was sixteen when he won his first battle. If anything, I’m behind.” you can just see her VA saying that. The acknowledgement by Nighteyes that even the thought of running would be dishonorable when humans are fighting it anyway. Since Engineers genocide everything they find disappointing. to put the magnificence into perspective. Its like spartans watching civilians quite literally taking on a god. Its something a warrior culture would never allow to stand to allow a “inferior” species and one they use to cultivate Xenos en mass to do something that legendary. If Nighteye didn’t fight, it would be an admission that the Yautja are beneath humanity.What I’m trying to say its incredibly lore compliant “It slumped down, hanging limply from the impaling weapon, the bisected halves of its head flopping open to either side. A few twitches went through its limbs, and then it went still. It was dead.”

Chun-Li manipulates Ki as do almost all street fighters. Which is to say Kikoken is using the ambient life energy around and her own to form the projectile.