InvidiaRed

Who is the POV/Main Character?

It can work, With the major players no longer on the board so to speak and only lesser factions. Its the perfect time for a changing of the guard and new powers to rise But… Here’s the devil in the details. What kind of setting is it? What happens if the hero is wrong? It’s these intrinsic questions you have to answer to be faithful and consistent to the lore and setting. If it’s a dark fantasy/grim dark vs. more light hearted fantasy. Does she make the most of the admittedly embarrassing situation or does she automatically accuse him of sexual assault? Does he do his best about the situation? Or does he fall apart from the lapse of control and skewed judgement. It’s going to be a big decision for the both of them. He’s going to have to deal with the fact he just potentially undermined his own beliefs and values with this indiscretion one way or another as did she. Not every character has to be romantic some people really do just antiromantically do it/ make the most of the situation and jointly decide they’re a thing now. Even if the beginning situation is embarrassing for both of them. They both have agency and on some level they connected enough to do it even if they don’t remember much of it. The Rubicon has been crossed and the genie is out of the bottle.

A seal would work. short sweet and likely something expensive for them to replace. Where its guaranteed they’ll be ridiculed at best for being careless.

That’s for door to door solicitors And porch snatchers get the blood eagle

Personally, I’m more of a roman opinion on them. Crucified on the side of the road as a warning to others.

From GeorgeGlass on January 03, 2022 Slither, by InvidiaRed There were some bits of language in here that I really liked (eg, the description of bacon as "the forbidden meat candy"). But I found the story hard to follow, mainly for the same reason that I found it hard to follow in "Vampire Gynoids From the Future": the confusing use of punctuation and sentence fragments. Take this paragraph: "As the serpent coiled like a lamb. A danger not just to the sheep but the shepherd as well." The first sentence is an introductory phrase that doesn't introduce anything, leaving the reader not knowing what was happening as the serpent coiled. The second sentence presumably describes the serpent but has no subject or verb to make that clear. Being an editor makes me hypersensitive to these things, so maybe others are better to interpret this story than I am. Feedback is always welcome! Part of that makes sense to my brain, and part of that is due to the mad character trying to describe something but not quite finding all the words. Or would it be ‘As the serpent coiled like the shape of a lamb. A danger not just the to the sheep but the shepherd as well.” that sounds better.

See you get it! If you must go, go all out if a female nobles does it spay her. Bam! no more problem.

If you’re going to do it go all out. His entire schlong with the family jewels turned to stone. jerkass noble walks in and comes out a eunuch (which is both fitting and underrepresented in fiction.) Nothing says plays nice more than a petrified reminder of the last noble who was under some mistaken belief he was a man.

Go with something gold and expensive and or an artifact , like an artificial beating heart that he was slapped so hard it popped out of its socket. Shiny and or magical would fit perfectly. any bling would do. Since most nobility in fantasy almost always carry an nauseating amount of gold and or jewels on their person out of some inflated sense of self importance. And it would fit the bill for a noble to entertain notions that they’re above the laws of the common rabble.

I do go more indepth on my personal review thread.

Slither Okay...I sort of read it to the end but honestly I didn't get it at all. It just seemed like random fights between gods about something that is not explained while namedropping the names of other gods again and again. I suppose there is a story buried in there, but I cannot make sense of why anything happened. The story doesn’t make sense unless you read all the holiday canon.