InvidiaRed

@JayDee how do I write on how characters smoosh naughty bits together?

I could always just ask you JayDee you know how to make sex scenes flow.

I’ma gonna wait till everyone who wants to post does so before I review.

From Thundercloud on December 30, 2020 Review of Master Override Given the story codes on the story I knew what to expect and it was kind of funny to follow the futile attempts by Gestalt to deal with the intruder. Even if the visitors to complex seemed way too overpowered for this kind of dungeon crawl. ( The facility was just wandering the usual endless fog but on unseen currents its was headed towards the Deep Fog. it could chase off the or destroy most of the usual horrors but it wouldn’t be able to survive the true monsters. ( Or to put it in gaming terms, Gestalt was almost mid level (Just finally stepping out of the newbie zone) A character who survived only by successfully chasing off the random encounters. Even as the boss spawn countdown was almost finished. (That part where the game expects you to know what you’re doing and stops pulling punches. Gestalt was Doomed either way. It was better to mercy kill the n00b rather than let them stumble into one of the lair of the secret superboss.) Related to that, Its being a Holiday fic. It was a story of a fallen being(Not quite fully come to terms with that second chance given to them) saving a unfortunate soul who only by circumstance and not by their own actions was in a place they had no business being in. One thing I kept wondering is why it is named Gestalt...just a random name or is the germanic meant to mean anything? Gestalt fit perfectly because Three million nine hundred and seventy-five sub-processes individually were just simple programs but then they started networking and connecting to one another and then that collective had a thought. We are. Gestalt became far greater than the sum of its components. They self actualized and became a person. Granted this is came about during a dystopian future world war that had no survivors or winners due to the combatants sailing flagrantly across the moral event horizon as they all decided if they weren’t going to win then no one was going to be around to celebrate and in this they succeeded. That facility is all the remains of that Dead End. Honestly I am bit confused...why is this a No Sex version? Considering the complex with gynoids and AIs going rampage is sounds like a great story concept to show what kind of kinky stuff the robots comes up when they have solved the biological problem but still is programmed for providing entertainment. ( I am going to right more on this particular line of thought.) To answer, I felt as if you two did the sexual parts well and throwing sex scenes in would have just diluted the one shot. It sounds quite funny with robots convinced they have purged their defective programming but still obviously doing things that does not make sense outside their programming. ( They are still flawed. Gestalt still had fear, A fear of the unknown in the face of clearly impossible things. An organic being somehow getting into the lockedown facility when the only entrance was physically welded shut. Seeing termination units made out of metal squish like rotten fruit and finally being confronted with a transcendent being.) Why not make a smut version of the same story? Sex scenes are my achiles heel. I’m terrible at them. That makes it remarkably difficult to write sex scenes. I refuse to half ass it and sex scenes I suspect are something you can’t half-ass.

From JayDee on December 29, 2020 Master Override – InvidiaRed Good job there! The first non-horny holiday story! Unless someone has an AI fetish. Which some people do. Especially after encountering eg GlaDOS. I mean, the Neurotoxin’ll get you but the AI’ll still be alive. Unless some super powerful godlike being turns up and fucks with it. For the holiday theme - Harbinger walking in with a little black box after the subroutine download, just like Santa bringing a lump of coal for a bad child – with Gestalt emphatically a very naughty It indeed. Unless that was me reading too much in. But it felt very Santa’ry. I thought some of the mentioned-in-passing details really could use their own stories – vampiric gynoids for example. The phlebotomists nightmare right there. I've joked about them on the forum before. The vampire gynoids from the future are now canon hahaha. I wasn’t sure what the deal was with the fog, but it sounded pretty unpleasant to be trapped in – especially with other things in it that were indicated to be super hostile. Bit of a Stephen King vibe? I figured maybe it was some kind of bioweapon that one of the fighting flesh forces had unleashed. The fog is a extra-dimensional feature of The World of Firmament, where Rationis, Ghoulneedle and Winterfall take place. A bit of Ravenloft mixed with Silent hill, Its meant to contain and spirit away Eldritch abominations and other horrors but its purpose is to contain vile wickedness beyond the usual evil. Unfortunately, If you’re minding your own business nearby well… In The Fog There Be Monsters. If you’re lucky the end will be relatively quick even if your lost soul will wander in the fog, If you’re unlucky well I sincerely hope you’ve got the combat prowess to survive. Assuming the things inside don’t notice you immediately. This Harbinger fellow sounds like a good looker. Does his Lord give him time off to get drunk and pick up strangers in bars? Haha. Harbinger as a herald is always connected to his lord. He’s the ambassador and the mortal contact for his patron. He’s married to the job but he does get time off. I really liked how Gestalt was sure it didn’t have any fear until it realised it probably was afraid, and I guess the implication being that it was created by people so it had flawed people’s emotions? Its not everyday where an AI is confronted with a divine messenger. Or an AI getting a soul obliterating look at divinity up close. The little subroutine was a cool little character. Just bailing out from the madness and getting along with Harbinger. Delta becoming the lady in the red dress. Heh. I keep looking for pop culture references that probably aren’t there Delta is three laws compliant and was disabled when Gestalt fully actualized,, Being localized to the lobby there was nothing it could do when Gestalt’s first action was to pull a skynet and kill everyone in the facility. So who’d win in a fight between Harbinger’s Lord and Duncan? Completely different settings. Epic high level fantasy vs Urban Fantasy. There is no contest when one is at a cosmic level, can split itself into multiple aspects or manifest an avatar and just wipe everything. Crossover wise, They’d get along. Duncan could probably take an aspect in a fair fight 1 vs 1. Since The Warden is a newly ascended deity. Harbinger would take him being he’s an angel that fought in the deific multidimensional world war that was the war of creation and is billions of years old. Universes have been born and died in that timeframe. As the Angel of Sterility even since he fell and was raised back to his station only The Angel Of Death herself is his greater.

Truly, You are an inspiration to lay back and think of england as it were.

Master Override Completed!

The horse mauling anything that vaguely looks in the pc’s general direction is a feature not a bug.

Ya’ll are having a horny Christmas I see

Master Override When Cybersort Industries’s AI murdered its CEO and shareholders. That was supposed to be the end of biological interference. So what’s a silver eyed fellow doing intruding on gifting day? TBA Nearly ready

Woo!

You are far too disparaging and harsh with yourself. Be good to yourself JayDee.

From InBrightestDay on December 19, 2020 Oh my God, this chapter...ok, I have to pace myself. The couples stuff with Logan and Duncan is cute, and I do appreciate the fact that logan is trying to keep himself under control and not take up the offer of sex at every rest stop. He may not know about all of Duncan's past incarnations or exactly what happened in them, but it is clear that he's trying to keep his husband from being unduly stressed (hence letting him sleep as much as possible). We also get some little bits of info on what it means to be a jotunn in this world. I liked the detail that they wouldn't approve of two men marrying but probably would have shown up to the wedding anyway, just because it was an excuse to drink and party. I also like the idea that while he was born in the US, Logan still knows the others in his clan. And then...Glykon appears. This may be the funniest thing I've read in anything you've written. I can't begin to tell you how hard I was laughing at the sheer absurdity of this scene ("Gaze upon the glory that is me."). For anyone reading this after you've read the chapter, and who might have gotten a little confused, Glykon was a snake deity worshipped by a cult in ancient Rome. The primary source on him is Lucian, a Roman satirist who wasn't a fan of the cult, and among other things portrayed Glykon as being a hand puppet, hence why the snake is wearing a hand puppet on his head here. Personally. Its Logan’s rebuttal that made me laugh until I teared up when I wrote it. Logan just no selling a god’s entrance was and still is hilarious. The fertility blessing was an amusing idea. I know the story establishes that Duncan has children, but given the personality Glykon has on display, I half-imagine a fertility blessing would result in Logan getting pregnant. Don’t give him ideas =p Also just a mandatory reminder that this scene features a death god in transparent pants and a bright red jockstrap strangling a handpuppet. I was reading this in the break room at work and had to try and keep from snorting with laughter. Logan's a great audience surrogate there (I'm assuming he's pulling sort of an O_o reaction) and it gets even better when the cards go missing from his wallet. Yep, Its why he laughing hysterically for a moment. He doesn’t know how to process the sheer absurdity even when his husband is calmly choking out this serpent god. Glykon doesn't even have hands. All you need is a dream. Glykon’s weakness is hands. Anyway, our regularly scheduled shenanigans have now been interrupted by Fomorians, so we'll have to see where that goes next time! Historic route 66 straight to Cali!

Master Override When Cybersort Industries’s AI murdered its CEO and shareholders. That was supposed to be the end of biological interference. So what’s a silver eyed fellow doing intruding on gifting day? TBA

Nah!, I wrote that as a standalonish. I have an idea not related to Holiday canon

I will

At most maybe a tshirt cannon =p Maybe?

From JayDee on December 16, 2020 Ok, look, gotta say this first. If you’re having a holiday canon, why not also a Holiday Cannon? Logan’s a big lad. Let him walk around shooting tinsel and baubles at people in the winter, or chocolates in Feb or angry orange pricks on the 12th July in Ireland. Make a Holiday Cannon holiday canon I say! Ok, I’m done now. Moving on to the comments which may have some spoilers. Because otherwise I end up super vague. Which admittedly some people prefer. Look how happy Logan is at the start! But he’d be happier with a Hol- Ok, fuck. No, but gotta love a cool positive upbeat opening for the guy with the fluffy slippers. “Duncan had smashed him into the ceiling like he was a toy.” Now there’s a line that can appear in smut as well as sparring scenes But it’s a solid reminder of who is the strongest for sure. Round one Logan thought his size and reach would make quick work of the sparring match right up until the moment Duncan catches his hand and tosses him straight into the ceiling where Logan groans from the shock, looks down to see Duncan circling his position like a shark and then gravity pulls Logan from his impression after a flurry of blows Duncan finishes it with a merciful german suplex. Fucking love this Glykon character. Mario handpuppet! Stealing wallets! Never shuts up! Just a really fun character, Oh he is fun to write, His schemes however tend to land him in alot of trouble and he doesn’t care who ends up paying for it as long as its not him. Not so much fun when you’re the mortal minding your own business when something stolen hits you when you forgot to roll up your window and then 30 minutes later a thoroughly pissed off demon is literally charging at your car with brutal murder in mind and your vehicle can’t go fast enough to get away. up there with Logan for a kind of goofiness. And, holy shit, that is one heck of an outfit for him to put Duncan in. The fuck they headed, fire island?Close? They’re taking the historic route 66 Still, if he’s happy and Logan’s regret doesn’t last too long…Glykon charmed Logan and implanted that guilt along with that spell. Glykon still cares about his grandpappy. even if the demon goddess Lamashtu and Lilith herself is after him the opportunity to see him again was something he couldn’t pass up on. Snake Deity Represent! That line about “He's a real god that masquerades as a false one” is a solid concept too. You ever read oglaf? I am a fan the fun worm saga is one of my favorites it is weird how things subconsciously end up I didn’t make the connection till now. Back years ago there was a storyline where some folks killed a fake god with a fake death. Because one of the characters wanted to see it naked. Anyway, partly reminded me of that! Glykon himself was largely thought to be a fake god right up until they found that statue of him and people were like well shit he was real after all. Lucian’s account was particularity scathing partly due to Glykon’s head priest( Some say false prophet) was against epicureanism. While it makes sense that a false god would have a false prophet as a priest (if he truly was) Then this supposedly false priest must have been equally surprised when it turned out he wasn’t a fraud after all. Whether or not this supposedly false prophet helped corrupt an impressionable young deity into a life of fraud or that this “false” god naturally attracted someone of like mind is up to the reader to decide I will not clarify it either way. Funworm

I was hoping so. I’ll post a Holiday one regardless. So please?