InvidiaRed

From Thundercloud on November 02, 2021 Review of Clucking Doom This writing style takes some effort for me to read. There is some very nice imaginary used, but at quite a few places it feels to me like there you only get to see random flashes of the actual action. Like if there is dark and you can only see when the lightning strikes. Makes me feel there are stuff happening between the sentences that you can guess but that is never explicitly told. Berta is doing her best in a body that’s no longer her own. She’s going manual control on a body whose on an instinctual autopilot. Berta didn’t kill her scouts… But is both stupid and the height of overconfidence to lower your guard around a monster. She’s blocking out or reframing what’s she’s experiencing to keep herself sane. She isn’t human… anymore. She couldn’t allow the angel to get any closer than it was because then she’d have to admit to herself that something is wrong. Its talking directly to her soul. She’s afraid of sleep because she’s seeing her body and what it became. Then she flattens a luxury car beneath her true bulk and can’t get into the building since she’s no longer human sized. Etc… The little details tell the story. For instance "She jumped, and Berta frowned" had me totally confused if Berta had jumped or why she would frown. This also follows a sentence with a dance, something that made the junp very unexpected. Its part of that disconnect. A human will knife straight down but a draconic creature that can instinctively fly will glide. The title of the story also left me wondering...anyway, thank you for sharing the story with us. Or rather a cockatrice that subsumed a snakehead species by taking down their tutelary. She doesn’t even know she’s undergoing a metamorphosis or why Sorceress -→ Monster -→ Monster Deity.↩ ⬇️ Berta is mentally here when in reality she’s ↩

From Thundercloud on November 02, 2021 Review of Clucking Doom This writing style takes some effort for me to read. Thank you for the review There is some very nice imaginary used, but at quite a few places it feels to me like there you only get to see random flashes of the actual action. Like if there is dark and you can only see when the lightning strikes. I think I succeeded then. It was roughly what I was going for. Its more of an existential kind of horror. You’re seeing it through only when Berta is in control. Makes me feel there are stuff happening between the sentences that you can guess but that is never explicitly told. That disconnect is intentional For instance "She jumped, and Berta frowned" had me totally confused if Berta had jumped or why she would frown. This also follows a sentence with a dance, something that made the junp very unexpected. The title of the story also left me wondering...anyway, thank you for sharing the story with us. I’ll go more in depth on my personal review thread.

From SinfulWolf on October 30, 2021 Clucking Doom by InvidiaRed Certainly an interesting setting. I like that swirl of typical fantasy, with a touch of modern post-apocalyptic. The way things were described to let us know what they were, without actually giving the names. It was bizzare and abstract and most certainly a ride for us readers. And that ending... beware the rewards right? In deed, being counted among primal antediluvian entities such as these civilization hating monster deities is more of a curse than a blessing. I couldn’t help but make it holiday canon this story is more of a Prequel/ Sequel towards Master Override. Nicely done! Happy Halloween

From SinfulWolf on October 30, 2021 Clucking Doom by InvidiaRed Certainly an interesting setting. I like that swirl of typical fantasy, with a touch of modern post-apocalyptic. The way things were described to let us know what they were, without actually giving the names. It was bizzare and abstract and most certainly a ride for us readers. And that ending... beware the rewards right? Thank you, I struggled to make it evident without being overbearing with the details. The thunderous steps, the kill gaze and the ability to fly and flattening the luxury vehicle all had to point to Berta was no longer human. Nicely done! Happy Halloween Thank You <3 For the Winter holiday You’ll get to see Berta again in Vampire Gynoids From The Future

I would like to thank all participants <3

From GeorgeGlass on October 26, 2021 Re: "Clucking Doom" by InvidiaRed John Madden once said, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations." Looks like Berta earned herself the last job she'd ever want. Oh yeah she got boned big time without a doubt. being transformed by an angel into a house sized cockatrice was one thing. She managed to maintain her sanity despite not being human anymore (even if I thought I put too many details to the contrary) Even if she consciously didn’t know. Being adopted by primal and feral monster deities is the second. Hundreds of different perspectives all at once is not healthy. They were the first deities to arise on this world spawning monsters to war amongst themselves until the second weaker generation came. Being weaker the second generation banded together and with their sapient creations and civilization they took the world by force. Yet, the monster deities refused to lose their world and turned back to their monster crafting skills. They aren’t friends but reluctant allies to one another and together they took back islands and eventually a whole continent Now they’re just under half a world. The civilized gods had to fall back to their holdings leaving one last temple a temple the MD’s couldn’t touch but a mortal could… A temple that Berta destroyed and by doing so erased the last outpost of the civilized gods. The fog of war protects boths sides from each other. This half of the world is well far more timeless. There are no civilizations there because the MD’s will not allow civilization or the civilized races any chance to take root excising all invaders with incredible prejudice. Its beauty and its bounty are for the monster deities and their creations to enjoy alone. As the CEO of Recess+ Playtime and Themeparks! Found out to her brutal jungled demise a few days after leaving the safety of Head Quarters. I did almost put in Berta finding her corpse. But had to scrap it because the deity of the island of giant insects did not leave a body. These deities are a different breed from my more common ones. In that population is what contributes and limits their power. So as greater monster population density increases = the more influence, more sight and more power in the mortal world for the monster deities. Conversely, the more people there are, and the more civilization there is the more powerful the civilized gods become. Part of the reason these lesser iterations of angels are so powerful because all the civilized gods collectively pool their power to make their messengers. Quite the imaginitive world you have here: science and magic in what would appear to be a postapocalyptic setting, made all the more amusingly bizarre by Wudy the Wabbit. I will expand upon it but the reason its not postapocalyptic is because this story takes place in the distant past. 10,000+ years to be exact. The CEO’s of the megacorps all have one thing in common. They’re all half-elven siblings. Recess+ Playtime and Themeparks!’s CEO is Cybernetics& Consorts Industries CEO’s little sister the last of seven. She stole various time displacement protoypes from her siblings a few years before the last war and panicking activated them rather than allow her sibling’s agents to take them back or allow her siblings to exploit it. Partially, out of not wanting to be erased from existence and partially because she knew her family would abuse such tech and likely doom everyone. She and her HQ simply vanished and might have very well be the catalyst for the war happening in the first place. She was environmentally friendly, well loved by the public and the voice of reason of the family. Then she was gone, it comes out that assassins from other corps were closing in on her and well the rest you know. Xmas story will expand on this storyline. In Vampire Gynoids From The Future

From GeorgeGlass on October 26, 2021 Re: "Clucking Doom" by InvidiaRed John Madden once said, "Don't do anything great if you can't handle the congratulations." Looks like Berta earned herself the last job she'd ever want. Berta definitely got the short end of the lollipop. Quite the imaginative world you have here: science and magic in what would appear to be a postapocalyptic setting, made all the more amusingly bizarre by Wudy the Wabbit. Thank you. I’ll go more in depth on my own review thread. Rudy kinda just popped into my head one day. A wholly benevolent theme-park mascot animatronic with a lovingly developed company AI. Much Closer to Delta than say murder ‘nonfunctional inducing’ happy Gestalt Close, but not post-apocalyptic. You know how cutthroat and thieving global corps can be and even subsidiary companies aren’t 100% transparent with the main one when it comes to R&D top-secret prototypes and tech.

I think I do have enough time to actually write Day of The Himbo full credit to you and all for the werebimbo and the inspiration

I don't think it uploaded. Just checked

The answer is Yes. http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/69679-aff-halloween-2021-revews/?tab=comments#comment-433960

Now I kinda want to write day of the himbos lul

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109947

Kk <3

Woo! <3 Even if you don’t I say it counts cause you posted here <3

Only if you want to. I mean you did just reach 1million on your story why not kick back and celebrate it?

Okay, posted The first story.

A place where the reviews go =p crazy I know!

Clucking Doom An Angel’s Visitation is not always welcome. TF, Angst, Violence No Sex

Hello! Hello! Hello! Fellow Ghosts and Ghouls Come one, Come all to the annual fall festival Halloween 2021! Where the rites are devilish and the autumn rituals celebrate the harvest…. All things are subject to rules the sun, the moon, me and you! Cast the die and make your fate! Conduct your offering or live eternally in regret wondering why you didn’t =p I kid, I kid. So procure your pencils, pens, quills and or writing implement of choice! Now then dearies. We All Float Down here! It’s been one heck of a crazy ride this year. Sit back, Relax and enjoy this year’s selection as we celebrate in gratitude as the year finally starts winding down! So I bid thee aidou and by the pricking of thy thumbs. Something wicked this way comes! Original fiction Halloween or Horror theme Include all appropriate tags at the beginning of the story Oneshots of under 50k words So pick up your red balloon

I’ll give it a few days. But if no one else will I shall the rules haven’t really changed all that much right?

I got a story for Halloween/ harvest festival. @GeorgeGlass do I post it here or wait for Halloween 2021? Clucking Doom An Angel’s Visitation is not always welcome.

Woo!

Almost October