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JayDee

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Everything posted by JayDee

  1. Heh, I’m a danger to computers everywhere! I had that line in mind when I wrote the reference -absolutely iconic line! – I had an idea of Kate and Lupa trying to get Kizzy to say “Gordon’s Alive!” a buncha times. Kizzy likes sci fi, she’d be down with it. Then they see Shannon’s wings and suddenly it’s “Now you say “I’m Batwoman!” in a deep raspy voice.” Abdul oughta do what he’s told :p - Calista can make weapons that hurt demon testicles. Kate: “The Future? Am I dead yet?” Luzurial: “Ye-” Kevin: “You’re on a farm upstate.” New review for The Slumber Party of Evil Doom Thanks for the review! I Appreciate the heck out of receiving it. I totally get what you mean – it fits in with why I combined the Blood on the Hay chapters with the main story, because it works better as one ongoing story but some of the individual chapters are vert fragmented on their own, and then the little character notes play in with the other stories a little better. Zoinks! Like, I didn’t think about people not knowing Scoob! I guess I’m not so into it these days but I liked the cartoons as a kid. Heh, yeah, that joke about the car might actually be the best in the story. Shannon has only been on Earth a relatively short time but she has been busy. No doubt reported it back to Hell as “Research” for possible souls to claim. Wattle is definitely archaic. There was a type of structure known as “Wattle and Daub” which used animal shit to bind it together. I’d imagine there was something similar in most languages at some point, but it’s probably not too common in most of them. The next three prompts I’ve never heard and will have a tough time using a couple of them. It’s really Demongoddess who needs the thanks – she posted the forum prompts! Thanks again! And yeah, I was chuckling myself at a mental image of a wolf haring along, ears back, head down, and an angel flying along with the sword still out shouting peaceful messages. I see you’ve got a new story up – it sounds a little different and interesting. The last Scandinavian tale I heard was “Finding my way out of Ikea before the meatballs drag me back,” which was a little cliche’d so I’m up for something original. I’m really busy this week but I’ll try and get it read and reviewed! Gotta put a little time aside to read 6000+ words, though less than it takes to write
  2. The Slumber Party of Evil Doom now at 2175 hits! I did think I might end with the current chapter, before deciding it was more fitting to finish off with them having a slumber party. I don’t think I can do it with the next week’s prompts, but I might try. Otherwise, a final chapter at a slumber party to finish it all off. For now, a review! Thank you for this and for the review! Yes, I think this was the first time I’ve done one trying to write her perspective. If I manage to salvage that reststop story by making it about Kate as you suggested I guess we’ll get a little more of her POV! And if I ever write that first person story I! we’ll get more too Lupa's vampire humor remains on point. Absolutely had to reference the vampire vs werewolf trope there, and Lupa’s self-image problem seemed a touch point that was also in character. The wishbone bit entirely inspired by the prompt, so nice to actually get a prompting. I went back to see if I’d given much indication of her height and it’s never really very clear, so I figured if Kizzy and Lupa are fairly short and Shannon’s a bit taller then them, Kate could be the tallest. It’d look better with that half-changed bipedal wolf form too if she’s got a hulking monstrous air to her. For the outfit I totally wanted to call back to her leaving her slippers behind referenced in an earlier chapter, but couldn’t come up with a Cinderella gag in the end. Wolfwere status confirmed! I had the thought originally as a throwaway gag in You! and it just seemed to work. In another universe she and Katie went down to LA, but something happened to Katie and Kate ended up homeless but liking the city and human music too much to go back tothe wilderness. In this one when Katie goes down to LA, Kate ends up sticking around. There is nothing I can add to that. Heh, thanks! I like the implication that because the car has no hiding wards or anything that wasn’t Shannon doing the succubus soul sucking, that was just her having some gratutious sex. I guess Lupa gets over her reaction as she ends up living at Shannon’s house which has surely seen even more action than the car… Still good for a gag here though! “SHANNON’S ALIVE?” Yes. Kizzy is much less shouty. I guess at some point Lupa will accept the angels and creator, but keep it up as a gentle rib on Kizzy. “...Paradise? This looks like a barn to me. Filthy hay, rotten vegetables.” “We’ll have no The Last Battle references here. Now try and look noble before Temira gets suspicious, while i open the way for you and Kate to the next universe.” Thank you again for the review. I appreciate the heck out of it.
  3. Pen Name: JayDee Story link: The Slumber Party of Evil Doom part 9 - Moonlight and Mist Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult Fandom: Original Pairing: None Warnings: AFFO, Language, Challengefic, NoSex
  4. Could be a chance to use costumes that they think will be sexy/slutty but then turn out not to be! Like, maids outfit – but instead of taking it in a sexual way Ghost and John are baffled as she instead cleans the house and is too busy for any kind of sex. Or a clown! Total obvious option, but instead of a halloween style slutty clown she just wants to make balloon animals or toss cream pies or fall over amusingly. “Clowns don’t have sex!” she says with a honk of her nose, or “you wouldn’t want clowns breeding. Soon… soon there would be more clowns than people!” until even the ghost is creeped out. Cat costume! Expecting some kind of cat in heat antics like the dog costume, she instead push’s John’s glass off the table, shreds the curtain and shits in his shoe before sleeping across the back of the couch for six hours. More sexual – A kind of emporer’s new clothes cosplay – say he was intending an actual cosplay but it accidentally got ruined, so she is hypnotised to believe she is fully dressed while naked. Or reverse – she thinks she is naked while fully dressed and is very embarressed. Look, if I was any good at ideas I’d be writing!
  5. I thought I might have to go through in sections, but once I started it just flowed really quickly and I got through in one sitting! I’ll definitely try and think of some, but it is almost like you smacked it out the park with the first one! It’s definitely tough to think up costumes that would be destinctive costumes and lead to sexual situations. Maybe some kind of devil or angel girl costume? I just kinda like those themes. Seems like a good solution! It works. Fair enough! A new challenger appears!
  6. The first link is to asstr.org which isn’t this site. I’m not sure the best email contact to raise with them – they’ve got copyright@asstr.org and story-admin@asstr.org but who knows if those mailboxes are still monitored? admin@Asstr.org may also be worth a shot. This site is http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org so if you got a link to it on the adult-fanfiction.org domain the mods can look at it.
  7. I certainly leave mine covered. Unfortunately my Twitch livestreaming hasn’t taken off as a result.
  8. Did The Chemist have any of them on sites which archive.org archives? Might be worth a look on the wayback machine for ‘em.
  9. “We have video of you playing with yourself at your computer!” Camgirl: “Oh NO!”
  10. That’s a positive way to look at things!
  11. You’re gonna want to steer clear of Grand Wizard, at least, unless one of them wears all white and doesn’t like other races. Call ‘em Infinitus. It’s a boast and a title! “Look, there goes infinitus Bob. Nobody wants to fuck with him!” “Poor guy. Probably lonely.”
  12. I’d forgotten that detail! Keeping in character continity is definitely the way to go though. That’s some good use of the meta process within the story. After they’d talked it through the option they took did seem like the best option.
  13. Almost certainly! At least we can be fairly sure that the creator didn’t just send her out for a pack of smokes and a sports paper. Grizzly cops with just one day until retirement! An obviously guilty party who turns out to be innocent and a seemingly innocent freckled brunette girl who turns out to eat people! Ahh I got nothing but cliches. But at least at this stage nobody expects a workable story from me.
  14. I’ve read and reviewed! It was a great relief to read it! :p I guess I got hit by that 1000 word flashfic word limit again. At one point I’d thought of doing a shortstory chapter but I ended up splitting it into the two 1000 chapters instead. Absolutely could have used more showing though – although Shannon finds just about anyone’s sense of dress hot – barely anything? that’s hot to her! completely covered? also hot. About the only thing that turns her off is socks with sandals. Maybe. Don’t look forward to it! It may well never happen! But Shannon and wedding-night-sherriff-deputy would be a hot story. I’ll see what I can do! It’s covered a little in parts one and two, but not a lot of detail – Kizzy was pretending to be entirely mortal to get close to an evil supernatural killer who could sense and stay away from an angelic force. Now, since this was the kind of job any run of the mill angel could do rather than a Seraph then it seems her creator had another reason for selecting Kizurial to go and live amongst mortals. Since she chooses not to send Shannon back to Hell, she then initially stays around to help with her atonement while coming to terms with the fact that she actually has something to atone for herself. I have a story roughly planned under a working title of All Apologies (which I will change, since that’s a Nirvana song) set after Jude’s Tale where she works through a lot of this stuff. Anyway, since Kizzy was hiding her angelic nature completely she wasn’t able to use any of her supernatural powers until the supernatural threat was destroyed at the end of the first part of the story when she used her sword on him. So until then she would only witness occasions of suffering without feeling them in the same way she did when she opened herself to the energy in the barn – I actually have an idea that she was at a murder scene while stiill undercover and felt compassion for the victim, for the killer who did it to him, but couldn’t really understand how the victim had suffered, and tried to work it through from her high-Seraph perspective and also the memories that she used for her Kizzy persona. I dunno. I’ll see how it goes. I might never write again as I always say! Thanks again for the review and as always for making me think about the ideas and concepts.
  15. The Slumber Party of Evil Doom has two reviews from @Thundercloud! Thank you! I see you’ve got the new part of Carmen Elisa Needs to Die up too, so I will hopefully get that read and reviewed tomorrow or tuesday! (I’ve been looking forward to the next part!) Thank you! That’s very much the hope, so I am glad it works out. I really have no idea now why I didn’t link them originally, beyond a suspicion that I liked the original description/title. Since she’s dead she doesn’t get bothered by the heat, so she has a thick underlayer similar to a wetsuit under jeans and a heavy over-sized hooded sweatshirt, and gloves, and sometimes she’ll wear something pulled over her lower face too. I figure there’s something supernatural in it where she can withstand indirect sunlight in some way, because otherwise the moonlight would also mess her up. On heavily clouded days also she’s probably having less issues. Spike running about under those blankets was always a classic. Thank you! If I ever get around to finishing The Fall of Chastia then I might get to write her as an angel with her sword out. I do have a PWP in mind about their wedding, where Shannon goes back to see how the relationship turned out and ends up spending the wedding night with them. Multitasking to get both of them off at once, leaving in the morning with a cheerful “Congratulations on the pregnancy!” and so on. Thing is, I am still going through my writing dry spell and getting things down is proving hard going. There is absolutely an issue with NoSex not being so well liked by some of the readers here – in a fanfiction setting I think it’s less of an issue because some folks are just happy to read about their favorite characters, but something as bitty and disjointed as this it makes it a much less tempting proposition for many readers. For me, I have the fun writing and working in the prompts (with the original part being literally inspiried by the prompt) and if people give it a chance they’ll find the occasional amusing line or decent idea or phrasing. Thanks! Lupa doesn’t always swear so much, she’s just had a bit of a stressful time. The idea here is that Kizzy has only been on Earth for a relatively tiny while, and there’s not a lot of suffering in the various human memories built into the persona. When she was up in paradise with the other Seraphim she had a multiversal high-level overview and utterly minimal, if at all, direct contact with mortals or even the Angels and Archangels who work so closely amongst them. She knew that mortals had suffering, she knew that the machinations of themselves and various demons made this suffering worse or better, but she had never had any direct contact with it. The idea is knowing something is different to truly understanding it. She always had the compassion, and at a high level felt for those suffering, but in a sense never understood individual senses of it. Nobody had ever hurt or scared her. Once she was on Earth because she was hiding completely her inhuman nature she didn’t use her touch to get emotional reading or get any other direct senses of true suffering, nothing beyond what her borrowed memories would make seem normal, and Shannon stopped her getting bullied by sheer force of being nice on her behalf, since they’d become friends on their first days at the school. So that, very poorly explained, is the idea behind it. Kizzy is on Earth and she is learning, and understanding, and when she comes face to face with a certain Archange she’ll have some real idea of what her insistance on not sending aid and prohibiting any angel from helping did. Perhaps she may never feel worthy to return to her creator’s presence. Thank you again for the reviews! I really appreciate them.
  16. It was a quality chunk of text!
  17. They have (had?) purges of the unclean from time to time was what I was meaning. The rest of the time no, no they do not.
  18. A quick google shows fanfiction.net also has a copy. Their standards for adult content sure are flexible sometimes!
  19. No, they were all an actual story. Just pretty much the same story most of the time and minor changes to text. Most every single one referred to a chararcter +"experiencing pure and untamed erotica...and enjoying every minute of it” Found someone’s old blog being upset about him: http://pleasestopwriting.blogspot.com/2007/09/andrew-troy-keller.html That said, he may have changed in the last decade and could even now be crafting fine stories. Which is more than could be said about me.
  20. Thought I’d responded! This user – http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/18715-andrew-troy-keller/?tab=comments#comment-217221
  21. I suspect that once again I won’t get anything done (Halloween Haiku anyone?) but I look forward to reading and reviewing.
  22. Works great! I’m sure some folks had very different mental images to mine, but we can all enjoy it in our own ways
  23. Congrats on hitting that milestone and maintaining quality as well as quantity. There’s been some writers with high outputs where the quality has been fucking dire (I absolutely refuse to name names although someone else will probably say ATK) but whenever I read one of yours it’s great stuff.
  24. Twinpregnation by far my most popular story of the last two years at 7705 hits and now a 7th review! Not bad for a re-write from an even briefer story I did a decade ago. Done a lot better than originals like Pregnant in Alabama anyway, although that one did amusingly rile up some folks over on literotica. Thank you for your review! I want to say I appreciate you taking the time to leave some thoughts and for being so positive about it. Absolutely understand about it being a bit brief, If I had the talent I’d do another dozen chapters! Taking out the subplot from the first version has definitely seemed to have a positive impact on the story, which just goes to show that not everything is improved by including a werewolf. Thanks again!
  25. The Slumber Party of Evil Doom now at 2070 dragon prints and that story that makes people viewing updates on Originals go “Fuckssakes, is that idiot still churning this dreck out?” (I like writing it, but I totally get why it doesn’t exactly get folks raving!) gets a review on the new part! I think the next part will be the final part. Maybe one more. In which case I’ll do another flashfic first so I don’t have to try to fit week 210’s words in. Thank you for your review! I really appreciate getting them. You’ve stuck through it all, when most have shuddered and hit that back button so hard the mouse cracked. Our lives are too short to waste them reading this kind of thing readers say, and they may be right. We only live once! So thank you for sacrificing a little slice of your slither of eternity on reading and reviewing it! I am glad ya liked it. Thanks! Little does Lupa know she’s got years of that to look forward to. Shannon had the ability in Fucking Halloween Party so I figured she could get an “earlier in timeline” show off here! What does that mean? It’s a robust genital related expression of shock/surprise/excitement, used much like “holy fuck” or “oh fuck”. And this from a girl who can move really fast, turn into mist and mesmerise people. Shannon is a really decent friend for a demon! I figured she probably didn’t think about it earlier because she had the assumption they would all be there and she’d do the business with her existing location gimmick built into the bracelet. Then suddenly Kizzy is going in alone and it clicks. This was the bit I wasn’t sure would work of course, hence sending you the original rough draft. It ties back in to why Kizzy is on Earth in the first place, because the Seraphim need to understand rather than just know. She’s tough though. She’ll be right. That's still funny. It also reveals a nice aspect of Shannon's character, how even without their knowledge, she's been looking out for her friends. Course she would! I mean, she turns up and basically goes “most popular girl in school!” and, yes, ok, she did send a cheerleader’s soul to Hell to get a spot on the team, but that Charity kind of had it coming, but even being super popular because of what a people person she is, she would still look out for the friends she made on her first day, who ended up her closest friends. I bet Kate and Lupa and Kiz would defend their friends with whatever other folks they hung out with too, if Shannon wasn’t there to jolly people along into being nice, and maybe engage in sexual experimentation. So, did Shannon run those two guys over to the farmhouse and have the quickest threesome in the world or something? “Shannon created a temporal fold of pure lust where time moved more slowly...” No, I kid, I kid. Shannon would have thoroughly enjoyed a threesome, as noted with her thoughts in the last part, but time was a factor both generally for tracking Kate, and also because of her last minute worry about Kizzy. So she basically persuaded them, with a good dose of succubus lust that there was nothing wrong with the feelings they had been suppressing for each other, and that they weren’t at the farm to make trouble and would be leaving shortly. Normally, of course, the Sherriff wouldn’t buy it, and the Deputy definitely wouldn’t, but somehow their hands were inside each other’s coats, and there was a bed inside the farmhouse, and, well, they were obviously good girls. They’d said Grace. And Shannon worked fast, but not fast enough, and once again a friend got hurt. She probably felt that. Anyway, thank you for your review! How you manage to keep making it through this stuff…
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