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Last night, I was adding "heavy cream" to my grocery list, and the two words my phone suggested after "heavy" were "breasts" and "balls." Phone, you know me far too well.

I wanted to share a real zinger for anyone who needs a laugh today. For this to make sense, you need to know three things: 1, I'm bi with a very supportive straight husband; 2, I'm in the closet IRL because of homophobic loved ones, and 3, I'm "out" online under my pen name. Oh, and 4, my husband Cold is an adorable smartass. I spent some time today working in our big hall closet, up on a stepladder. When I heard Cold come through the front door, I warned him to be careful coming through the hallway because "I'm kinda in the closet." "Kinda?" he retorted. "You're entirely in the closet." I could hear the unspoken bi joke like a cat hearing a can opener. "I'm only in the closet IRL," I reminded him, "online, everyone and their gay stepdog knows I'm bi." Cold poked his head around the door. "Either you're in the closet or you're out of the closet," he teased me. "You can't be both. You're not Schrodinger's bi." And that's how I realized it is entirely possible to laugh yourself right off a ladder, and that, despite getting older, Cold IS still able to catch me before I can fall on my oversized rump. I'm still grinning about this, and it's been over an hour!

Still hoping to get back and read! There’s a new Thundercloud chapter fer wossnames sakes! If I end up reading the christmas stories same time as halloween so be it, but I’ve either been busy, away walking, or had no internet. Bit of a shitter. Away again after today for a while.

The definition of irony is wanting to scream at your cats, “Just live in fucking harmony goddamn it!”

Death penalty for spammers, anybody got an issue with this?

What I say: "He was a stallion in the truest sense." What my phone hears: "He was a scallion in the truest sense." So keep an eye out for my upcoming story about a sexy green onion.

Big shout-out to @BronxWench for granting a hojillion category requests today!

Gotta continue taking a break for a while, I’ll be back to catch up and finish reading some ongoing stories when I can. Stay strong everyone.

My story “The Cartooniverse Mother-Daughter Crossover Sextacular” references 75 different cartoons from every era. My thought this morning: “It’s like I was trying to ruin as many childhoods as possible.”

I FINALLY got the time to fix my computer issues, so I can access everything I haven’t been able to for a few months. Now to get work under control, and I’ll be golden!

For everyone celebrating today, Happy Thanksgiving!

Looks like I finally got around my browser issues. Now to reset up email

A big Happy Birthday shout-out to the one and only @DemonGoddess, my fellow cranky old broad. Here’s hoping for a good year!

M Denis Villeneuve had best be working on Dune Part Two, or I shall hunt him down, remove his liver with my bare hands, and offer it to the Morrigan. And yes, Part One was an enormous improvement over David Lynch’s effort, although I might had chosen differently for the role of Lady Jessica. But by and large, c’est incroyable!

(taken from facebook)

A very happy birthday to @foeofthelance and hoping this year brings lots of good things for you! See you at Ren Faire, lad, and I’ll stand you a mead!

Sending birthday wishes to my darling @pippychick and wishing you all the very best for this year, and all the years to come. Love you!

Found this excellent gardening tip on facebook! REMEMBER: When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig it up.

<3

So, the post-Halloween trick-or-treater tally: At least one kid dressed as an internet meme -- check Multiple Elsas and Harley Quinns -- check A whole family in themed costumes -- check A hot mom in a borderline-inappropriate outfit -- checkity-doo

In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense. Mind going a hundred miles an hour. Random story chosen to channel my energy-- So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas. Hippie Hollow). I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks. Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory. He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain. Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed. Well, he'd wanted a look !

I know it’s automated and generic, but I still like the birthday cake Bing made me.

Pro tip: Do not french kiss the cobra.

Making Progress. Slow progress but a step is still a step by any measure @BronxWench you were right It was way more cost effective to buy 10 ISBNS I feel like that’s how they suck you in. Well you only wanted one but…. You got the rest of your life to use the rest of them ahaha.

This summarizes up today, though it omits the gaming distraction….