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Archive repairs & recode are sitting at around 50% done. Archives are next followed by the story manager. If you like what you see so far please donate to the site and if you feel generous say it’s a bribe for me to work faster .

Pen names restored, took a few hours since there are a ton of members. if they aren’t current feel free to edit them. The attack didn’t get far, only managing to change pen names, user sensitive data is all encrypted so don’t have to worry about it..

Last night, I was adding "heavy cream" to my grocery list, and the two words my phone suggested after "heavy" were "breasts" and "balls." Phone, you know me far too well.

Happy New Year to all my AFF friends and family!

Still hoping to get back and read! There’s a new Thundercloud chapter fer wossnames sakes! If I end up reading the christmas stories same time as halloween so be it, but I’ve either been busy, away walking, or had no internet. Bit of a shitter. Away again after today for a while.

The archives are slowly creeping to life! The New indexes are roling out with some changes I’m sure authors will like.

Ever have a story idea so stupid that you had to write it, just to see if you could pull it off? I have had such an idea. It’s a furry story about four boys from a racoon-like race whose island home is under occupation by tiger-like invaders. The boys manage to find an ancient artifact that they hope will give them superpowers to drive the invaders away. Instead, the artifact turns them into a boy band. God help me, the story going to be called “Band Together.”

What I say: "Hekapoo" (the name of a character from Star Vs. the Forces of Evil). What my phone hears: "Heckapoo," "pecapoo," "Hackaboo," "Packaboo," or "Hecka poop," depending on its mood.

Is this validation for many of us here? https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/30/arts/lgbtq-romance-novels.html

My phone now has a bilingual mode, which means that it will do predictive typing in Spanish as well as English. So I was doing a Duolingo Spanish lesson and typing “Te gusta el…?” (“Do you like…?”), and the next word it suggests is “sexo.” Apparently, my phone thinks I’m a perv in any language. It’s right, but that’s not the point.

The definition of irony is wanting to scream at your cats, “Just live in fucking harmony goddamn it!”

Death penalty for spammers, anybody got an issue with this?

What I say: "He was a stallion in the truest sense." What my phone hears: "He was a scallion in the truest sense." So keep an eye out for my upcoming story about a sexy green onion.

Update 2! Reviews are under the new code and functioning.

Update! Story display is now in the new code, and you can now from within a story one click add a story to your current reading or recommended reading. You can also now delete current reading or recommended reading stories from your profile.

Took a short break as I’ve noticed a lot of invalid avatars in the user profiles. New Drfault Avatar

As I’m sure everyone is aware, a couple weeks ago we suffered a severe injection attack. The end result is that Manta2g has been recoding to make sure it doesn’t happen again. In the meantime, where the fixes are done, you will see green. Where you don’t see green, that part of the site remains read only. Thanks for bearing with us.

Wherever you see green in the site skin, that part is now live and fixed. Expect to see more rollouts, and the fix to be done here in the next few to several days.

My smartass husband almost doomed us all. He’s eating animal crackers and found a cookie that appeared to be two different critters stuck together. What’s he suggest? ”Hey. Think we can fix this chimera with alchemy?” No, Cold. HAYELL no. We are not breaking the alchemical taboo in twenty-twenty-anything, this is not the decade to risk it! There are two whole anime series about just why we don’t mess around with that!

I’m not sure what CAUSED the outage, but it’s now fixed. It looks like our ISP had to reboot the server after I opened a ticket

It’s actually as everyone was thinking, a benign place holder and easily fixed. Kind of a carryover from the very old stuff.

I FINALLY got the time to fix my computer issues, so I can access everything I haven’t been able to for a few months. Now to get work under control, and I’ll be golden!

For everyone celebrating today, Happy Thanksgiving!

Looks like I finally got around my browser issues. Now to reset up email

A big Happy Birthday shout-out to the one and only @DemonGoddess, my fellow cranky old broad. Here’s hoping for a good year!

M Denis Villeneuve had best be working on Dune Part Two, or I shall hunt him down, remove his liver with my bare hands, and offer it to the Morrigan. And yes, Part One was an enormous improvement over David Lynch’s effort, although I might had chosen differently for the role of Lady Jessica. But by and large, c’est incroyable!

(taken from facebook)

Yeah, those were the types of links you didn’t want only a condom for protection, you’d need EVERYTHING covered in latex before you even dare to click.

Update! Story display is now in the new code, and you can now from withing a story one click add a story to your current reading or recommended reading. You can also now delete current reading or recommended reading stories from your profile.

It’s a bit of a slow roll-out, as stated in the news most of this new look and functions were planned for a November roll-out, the injection attacks forced the schedule forward, so every section gets tested then released as fast as possible. And as members report any bugs or issues, those are fixed before rolling out the next section.

And you discover the true taste of your friends!

Patching is done, we are out of read only mode. Backups have been made.

ACK! (panics… runs and hides, trembling in fear)

Yeah, that would do it. The secret ingredient is an ungodly amount of poppy seeds, greens and more. Whether or nor they wake up is another matter. The hulking barbarian might be knocked out but the elder sage of venerable age and the tiny sorceress that’s probably 90lbs wet on a good day is absolutely dead.

In the past couple of days, I’ve received five “nonsense reviews” that look like this: From ANON - on October 06, 2021NKGfAy cgrngykbkdod, uwuuwppwtogw, [link=http://dbghcmuhsqds.com/]dbghcmuhsqds[/link], h**p://hgavtlargcnu.com/ There’s no obvious rhyme or reason to which stories are getting them, as some are in Cartoons and some are in Originals (the only 2 archive sections in which I have stories posted). A recent post from @InBrightestDay suggests that he’s getting them, too. Anything to be done besides deleting them?

I’ve got another zinger from hubs to share! A few minutes ago, I was chatting with Cold about my plants in the window and I said, “I mean, those two need repotting already. They must really like this southern exposure!” This guy. This absolute smartass. He looked at me with a completely innocent face and said, “yeah, but I don’t know how they can stand the accent.” …y’all. Cold has a southern accent. Yes, I choked on my spit. That mouth of his makes me so stinking proud sometimes.

manta is working on fixing the user names as we speak...

I’m aware of that, as is our coder. i do believe it was a failed exploit, but, not sure yet. Still digging into this.

Thank you, and yes I got the job after 6 months of interviews, background checks, drug tests, and skill tests, and it was worth it.

Happy New Year, everyone. Let’s hope 2022 will be great… in a good way.

Have you considered that this is George’s phone? Trust me, its web-browsing history is legendary. Rather like its spell check and predictive typing.

If you want traditional beings, rather than monsters who “kidnap” people the Huldufólk (I think the English word for it is Hulder folk, or the Hidden people) of Iceland, have been known to technically kidnap people… We do also have elves who do the same thing, and they are often considered more hostile towards humans than the Huldufólk are. There are two ways in which they do this. The first one, and the perhaps more benign way, is that they lure shepherds or travellers who have gotten lost in a snow storm, or thick fog on the highlands into their abodes, which are usually located in cliffs, large hills, or large boulders. In some cases, they appear to humans as kindly strangers and befriend the humans, and invite the humans to their homes, and the humans don’t realise they are dealing with Huldufólk, or elves, until they are inside the homes, and the cliff/boulder/hill closes behind them, and then each day that passes inside, a year or even a decade passes in the world outside. It is VERY hard to leave again and very few actually escaped. This kind of “kidnapping” is usually not done with ill intent, but rather because the Huldufólk or elves fall in love with the human, or just befriend them, or in some cases, the human helps the Huldufólk or elf in some way, and they “repay” us humans by inviting us into their hidden world. Some humans who fall in love with one of them even choose to willingly join their world, and leave the world of the humans behind. The less benign way is what we call the Umskiptingur, or the Changeling. The origin of this superstition very likely comes from the Irish, Welsh and Scottish roots of our ancestors, since I have heard similar versions of this from the United Kingdom. But, the Umskiptingur is a baby… a human woman has a baby, and the baby thrives for the first few months, and in most stories, the baby is gorgeous, and such a sweet baby that it is a wonder to all who know it… but then suddenly, usually around the age of one year or so, when you’d expect the child to start trying to walk, and making sounds like the baby is imitating speech and such, the baby suddenly changes. Usually the child is much the same physically, but it’s moods and general personality does a complete 180°. The child becomes peevish and cries constantly, can’t be soothed by anything that used to soothe it, and very often starts to eat enough for a few babies, which in poorer farming homes could become detrimental to the health of the rest of the household. And very often the baby would start to eat things that were considered the “fancier” options of sustenance. Fatty foods and such. When this happens, the way to figure out if your child was an Umskiptingur, was to leave the baby alone in a room, preferably where the baby could get its hands on something edible, or possibly even coffee, if that was available in the home. The the parents should hide out of sight, and wait, and ignore the child as it cried and wailed. Eventually, the Umskiptingur would grow annoyed, or figure that it was completely alone, and then it would shapeshift into its proper form, which very often was a grown male Huldufólk or elf, and make some kind of remark about it being something other than a baby, and walk over to where the foodstuffs were within reach. Then the parents of the baby should jump into view and either scare the Umskiptingur, or beat him, until his wife would come and save him, and bring the parents’ actual baby with her. The most famous of these is where the Umskiptingur gave himself away, when the mother of the baby made some kind of a bizarre display in the room he was in, and left the room, and the Umskiptingur said, “Father of seven children am I in the elf home, but never have I seen anything like this before.” Then the mother of the child jumped on him and beat him, until his elf wife came to rescue him and returned the actual baby. In some rare cases of this, the elf mother exchanges the human baby for her own irrepressible child, because the human child is so much better behave, or even more beautiful. In those instances, it’s usually necessary to beat the Umskiptingur, or deny them any kind of care until the elven mother decides that it would be better if she were to raise her elven child and return the human child.

Just in time for the holiday season, we're seeing an influx of spambots, on our Forum and in the Archive's review pages. Here's what you can do. If you see a spambot post in the Forums, click the little link at the top right corner of the post that reads "Report Post." The moderators will make it go away as quickly as possible. If there are multiple posts, report them all. You can leave a one-word report if you'd like, such as "Spam" or "Spambot" but it's not necessary. When we read the report, we'll know right away what the issue is. If you see a spambot review in the Archive, and you're the story's author, you can always delete it. If you're not the author, you can report the review using the "Report Review" link in the lower left corner of the review. It does help immensely, since these reports are delivered via email, to drop in that one-word report, but even if you don't, it's pretty easy to see those spambot reviews when the review board is accessed. What shouldn't you do? Don't click any links. Who knows where most of those links have been? For all we know, they could have taken a quick trip through the malware pool before landing on your screen. Practice safe surfing and don't click anything, especially when the post is in Cyrillic, or German, or some funky font of dubious provenance. We like our members and want you all to stay safe!

So, is eating a rabbi considered Kosher? (Asking for...a friend cause ‘tis the season for questions.)

*Clicks link* “OH MY GOD! JERSEY CITY!”

Do you think that when Theodore Maiman switched on the first laser at Hughes Research Laboratories in 1960, he realized that he was inventing the 20th century's greatest cat toy?

Not fiction, this happened in my house recently-- It was a dark and stormy night, in a great big house. Thunderclouds had swirled down from the north and were dumping the rain. On the phone I had just talked with Jenny--who, with our son, was out-of-state on their road trip to see a massive museum. I was in my recliner sitting quietly a moment because I was ready to go to bed. The dark filled every room, all but disregarding a few puny battery-powered candles: Left the only soul in the house, I was downshifting for sleep. Power briefly flashed out. The kitchen clock winked--otherwise I wouldn't have missed power, since I'd already had the lights out. But over the din of the pounding storm, I made out some grating noises and then--footfalls. In our bedroom, over my head. In my mind I inventoried what had caused this big house to creak like that from time to time. Creaking I could explain, yeah. But there were also the little dull impacts. Unmistakably, movement upstairs. It sounded exactly like Jenny getting out of bed and walking across the floor--a sound I knew well from repetition, having heard it here above my head-- sometimes every morning in a week--yes indeed: footfalls ! But with Jenny in Ohio, then: who? The noise was, beyond my doubt now, a presence upstairs. I froze to stone not wanting to be detected—trying to reassure myself thinking: It’s the noise of the storm—that’s nothing upstairs ! And when would that Nothing--responsible for what almost was starting to sound like distant angry bangs and thumps--descend the stairs, coming this way? Starting to hear my heart in my ears, I mentally rejoined the presence by trying to reduce it to some mundane cause I knew--finding it nuts-- Because nobody--especially in a pounding storm--breaks into the TOP floor, while rain slides off the roof and sheets down windows. Over the roar of the storm, I finally caught a distinctive sound: A plastic case, wheels on an axle jarring with an impact. Our vacuum 'droid was loose. I'd been petrified by what I found to have been the noise of his slamming into furniture like a drunken bad actor who hadn't rehearsed his action scene. The power spike had jolted his dumb plastic butt right off the battery charger. And in the dark and fury of the storm, he was-- VACUUMING.

I’m guessing spam (the least nefarious idea), and you definitely should NOT follow those links, wherever they may lead is likely a place you don’t want to go.

*nods* Such are the choices that vex the hearts of men...

My son was downstairs getting ready for school. Upstairs--off from my normal workday commute--I'd been quietly absorbed in my thoughts: out of sight, unknown or forgotten by all--next to the light switch for the stairs. I heard my son tell his mom he had to go back up for his socks. As he was reaching for the OTHER switch--downstairs--I flicked the light on. Ta da ! I'm told they looked at each other. Then he looked back up the stairs. "Daaad ! ? " 'Tis the season, for haunting. He wasn't all convinced that was me !