You awake to find yourself in a forest clearing. Distantly, you can hear singing. It is pretty fucking tuneless. Oh fuck, it might be Bieber. To the east here’s a sign which reads “Quit looking East”, and to the West is a very suspicious tree stump. If you choose to examine the previously unmentioned mudhole Go to 35. If you choose to win self-determination for the Republic of Molossia go to 63. If you want to know about the unsightly rash spreading across your buttocks go to 28 (Charges may apply).
Frying Pan
Sure, there’s always room for a spammer. You’re the guy masturbating in the background. Wow, look at you go, you’re spurtin’ like a fuckin’ fount- oh. ow. Shit, dude, it’s not supposed to have blood in it. You need to get that checked. Sooner rather than later I’d say. Thoughts and prayers.