Thundercloud

Ummm...waking up while still within inside would imply he stayed hard for the whole night and they slept without moving. This sounds more like parody material for a cartoon than anything that could happen in reality. If you want to make it look like they had sex I suggest they could be covered in the dried remains of cum or something similar. As for reaction it totally depends on what you want to happen later. Everything from “We never mention this again! We must have been drunk” to “Bloody rapist!” are possible. It is your characters so only you can tell the contents of their emotional backpack.

Some time back I heard that KKU had run into problem with his laptop. Until he gets it sorted there is risk he won’t be visiting here much.

The idea for the story came from a line of dialogue in JayDee’s hilarious story You (http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107772&chapter=1) where a character complain about somebody treating her as an exposition fairy. JayDee’s story is a parody about AFF writing itself and IMHO well worth the time to read. Anyway, it made me start thinking about how fun it would be if having a fairy talking about sex toys instead. I am glad you found it funny, that was my intention. It is very much coming from a video game context. Invidia Red does in his review refer to Navi from the Zelda series. If you go looking for cosplay of Navi (and you don’t get stuck with Avatar examples) the likelihood is great the Navi cosplay will feature a text sign with some quote from the game. Tv tropes have a list of examples of exposition fairies in a number of computer games in case you want to educate yourself. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExpositionFairy Thank for the tip, I will look into the difference in the meaning for "lending" with "borrowing". It is easy to stumble into false friends when you write in a second language. BTW I am really glad you found just a few language issues. The work load of writing the story without a beta reader and the family suffering from sickness for a large part of the December was pretty much over the top. I am kind of surprised that I actually got it finished. *smiles* Maybe I should return to develop the setting more. An actual visit to the fairy court sounds like it could be fun to write.

It was a really good idea since somebody hacking the Nice List is an too obvious plot development. Twins in a threesome was likely the only way to raise the stakes for the elves scene. BTW...I think I might have missed a negation in my review. The thing I meant to say is that I am not into Anthro but found myself sad I could not see calendar.

You don’t seem to subscribe to less is more...anyway...if you ever get around to collect your string of stories into a full story arc I would not mind try reading it since the setting is cool. Until then I think I will focus on my own writing and exchanging reads with other authors.

Actually I think reading it is not enough...you need to remember it all also. ;- I have made the comment that your writing style is not really my thing, a big part of it is that I get an overdose ofthe guessing game. Having to reread an previous story to get hidden reasons why a certain character made a certain decision is fine...needing to cross reference with an earlier story to determine if something is really happening or if somebody is delusional and just rambling…not my thing.

I agree that something shiny might be a good idea. A trophy kind of imply that it is something the owner would not like to part with. Exotic horn believed to come from a unicorn?

Sounds like you liked it. Isn’t a shame that searching for erotic Navi cosplay gives you mostly Avatar hits instead of showing you scenes where Navi get what she deserves...

I would say that you should not worry too much. It is not like there is much difference between any two average popular porn movies out there. Building on the expectations about good porn tropes of the public and getting resonance from the emotional context of the scene is not always easy, but the readers imagination will fill the gaps and make them enjoy the scene if it is your normal quality of writing.

Okay...family has recovered from whatever it was (at least verified to not be Covid). This meant I could finally put some time to write and managed to wrap the my project for the Winter Holiday 2021. I thus present: The Exposition Fairy Story codes: M/F, Oral, Toys Summary: Peter is on a mission from the fairy king, but as solstice approaches, the weather worsens. Is it too much to ask for a night in the civilization to recover? The exposition fairy granted to Peter does strongly disagree. So is Peter in for a night of misery, or can he somehow find a way to make the fairy accept that he needs time to relax and recover?

Things have not progressed for me...or rather it went very well until the family was hit with the flu. I will see if I can manage to find to time finish the story or if I must save it for later.

Does this mean that you have a Winter Holiday that is one month long??? Myself I have just begun planning for what I possibly could write for the event.

Ratmen are an obvious alternative, but basically any race can match if you give the right culture. Pirate mermen that raid coastal areas and abduct slaves...

Thanks for the answer. It was not such big issue that it disturbed my reading.

We keep resurrecting this thread from last year...time to move to something new before the dust bunnies catch us?

Thanks for the explanations, they explained a lot. There are some really great story puzzle pieces there that you avoid showing to the reader.

I have now posted chapter 7 named The Time of the Prophecy: The Princess and the Dwarf This chapter features the events that happened at the same time as the previous chapter. Princess Ezame makes a dangerous decision as Ezame and Cymari gets involved in desperate rescue mission. Meanwhile the Entaro family are starting to get worried about what has happened too Cymari and Helian. Story codes for the chapter Tort, Tent, MF, Preg, Rape, Violence Main hero featuring in the chapter is Ezame, Enbon, Cymari.

A busy work schedule has with lots of overtime has meant that I could write my intended piece...will have to save it for another year. I very much look forward at reading your stories.

Thank you for the encouragement.

I am a bit infrequent here for the moment since I have no steady internet in the summer house...but BronxWench gave a very good explanation of what I was trying to say in my previous post. If such things happen...why are you not showing such an event for the reader? How does he feel about his work situation? What are his reasons for working at the Inn? I would be much more interested in reading such at the beginning at the story than how Janina has blasted some fellow with her magic.

All that is background for the character, but that does not equal a good reason to tell the reader about it. There is not inherently any problem with a character having large tits...but why are we told the boob size of the females but not given a description of the dwarf tavern owner that is bound to be important to the main character? If I am blunt...what does these girls actually do in the first chapter? If the focus should be on your main character and him being average you could probably just as well tell the reader there are some babes working at the Inn without any specifics. You could continue with telling the reader about how the babes never looked in the direction of main character and that he feels insignificant and invisible around them. Some visual descriptions from the viewpoint of the main character as he dreams about them could work. You could also expand more about the main characters personality by him thinking about he never dared to ask them out since he recall how they reacted on customers trying take advantage of them could let you rescue some of details if they are important to you. I could also imagine to saving the visuals for later chapters and using the space in the first chapter to tell reader about the dwarf tavern owner and why the main character works for him instead of talking about the babes. I think you should devote more focus on showing this to the reader than girls working at the Inn. One option could be to alert the reader about the apocalyptical setting into the descriptions of the first chapter by having the elven sorceress working on the Inn because even with her spells she does not dare to travel alone in the wilderness. Her trying to assemble the coins to secure travel with a caravan for semi safe travel to her destination would frame the readers thoughts about the setting in the right direction. The important thing IMHO is that you should use the space of the first chapter to develop the main character and the setting. Visuals and details that advance those goals are a good idea, but telling the reader stuff that won’t matter until later chapters is a tricky business.

I think much depends on why details are presented to the reader. Somebody looking into a mirror or a certain characters looking and remembering are good narrative tricks to give visuals...giving an info dump about females that happen to be at the location but does not feature in any action or plot is quite the opposite. The equivalent of movies where the camera crew go hunting for camera views that make the babes look sexy instead of things that advance the plot. Trying to balance the scale afterward by “objectify” a male lead character is like digging deeper into the hole. Those who think the description of the female jumped at them, won’t be less irritated because it is done again for another character. In short I think you should listen to your wife…

It is easy to find stories that have got between 100 and 200 totally after being online for a year so bots in general is not a significant problem for dragon hits. Possibly there could be some tailor-made bot that is specially looking for the word Skyrim or something similar, but that is life. As a funny notice I used to frequent a now gone story site where the email was visible with the story but you could not see the equivalent of dragon prints. This meant that I received spam proportional to the number of hits from readers with malware on their computers. Good chapters got lots of more spam than the bad ones…. a very different time.