Thundercloud

Great news about the story info editing!

Since the Edit Story Information feature does not seem to have been fixed, it seems I need some assistance. Can you please add the story code Rim to https://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109197

Chapter 12 has now been posted. Ronja and Maria are discovering that the sexual abuse they are suffering has been taken to the next level. Can starting to share previous secrets help them to carry on? If you review it the likelihood I review some of your story increases a lot...

An example that don’t have the same number of month and day would be that January 13, 1995 would be 1995-01-13 In case you time to spare and is wondering why this formatting makes sense you might want to check https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISO_8601

The real-world hymen is not a membrane at all but mucosal folds. Nothing that needs to be penetrated to have sex. Your average three-year-old girl and a woman who has given birth have mucosal folds that look pretty much the same. Puberty introduces hormones that make it easier to handle penetration, but it does not make any membrane disappear. If we speak about even younger girls than three or four years old, the folds are affected by different hormones and look different, but it is still not a membrane. There exists a rare medical condition called Hymen imperforatus, meaning the cells did not die as intended during the development of the body, so there is no opening. It happens between 1/1000 and 1/10000, depending on what ethnically we are talking about. This is a condition that needs to be fixed before the girl has their first bleeding. Some girls also have this condition partially and might need surgery to be able to insert a tampon freely or have penetrating sex. Rumors about these rare conditions have probably contributed to the myth, but a more likely culprit is that, statistically, quite a lot of girls bleed during their first sex. A funny observation is that English Wikipedia lists numbers like ½ girls suffering from bleeding during their first sex, but when we measure the same here in Sweden, only 1/5 of girls bleed during their first sex. I am not expert enough to tell why this difference exists. Still, even a grown woman will bleed after a lack of foreplay and rough penetration, so maybe it is as simple as societies that are too shy to talk about sex and nudity with their kids will increase the risk that the first sex is a bad experience.

I don’t get why you would need lots of experience to be at ease with your sexuality. If you go with the assumption that the first experience of sex must be bad, then you need lots of sex to compensate, but why is it that the first sex must be bad? You can find many stories with the first sex causing hurt for the girl, and she has a hymen to lose before she can enjoy the sex...how about just scrapping that bad plot device since the hymen does not exist in reality? At the end of the day, a strong female raised in a safe environment has a good chance to succeed in life. Sex is not inherently more difficult than anything else. There are, of course, challenges with all the bad porn out there that virtually urge the watcher how to have bad sex but that doesn’t mean sex must connected with angst and bad experiences.

One way to view it that if you can reason with the creature to make a deal about not fucking/raping you then it is not bestiality. The question if the creature is likely to agree to a deal is not so important, but if you in theory could make such a deal. A large part of bestiality is having an animal that want pleasure and won’t be denied since it is acting out of animal instinct. If you can talk to creature then we are speaking of different kinds of horror. With demons it might be sometimes be borderline cases. The demon might act like an animal or threaten they might be close to lose control to inspire fear into the victim. The demon cat that talk would normally not be bestiality, but I can certainly imagine scenes when the bestiality tag i merited because of what the reader will imagine might happen next even if nothing happens.

Replace “good” with “shy”?

Great that you have found the story again. Sexstories had very good reading numbers, but the moderation was abysmal with some bot thing that make bonkers decisions that you could not challenge. I am very glad to be away from there, but I am glad that you found the story while it was posted there. You might be interested to know that story will feature 13 chapters. I am working on 12 and 13 in parallel to be able to go out with a bang.

As a general rule you should include stuff that is important for the story and cut the rest. Deciding what parts that are important to the reader the experience you aim for is the central task of being an author. In this specific example...if the second seduction is the important thing then you should probably start there, but if you feel the second seduction need to start with a internal monologue about the first seduction it sounds like the first seduction is not just some back story but part of the important stuff. At the end of the day you must start somewhere that is well beyond character-was-born. This means your character will have done tons of non important things before the start of the story. Things that impact the future plot is probably important...but it is not given. For instance, a story about a character suffering from a trauma might work better if you keep the trauma hidden from the reader until events of the story make the character recall the event. Telling the reader about all the important events of the character but keeping them hidden from the character is not a way to make the writing easier.

There are a number of us that write original fiction and post it at https://original.adult-fanfiction.org in case some you have non fanfiction stuff you want to post.

Good sex scenes is about emotions more than the mechanical positions. If they are competing against each other you need to show their lust to the reader. Most probably you will do best if you describe mechanical positions that you find erotic...which one that works depend on your kinks. One final idea is that you can play with having the females try distract each others so they get access to the male. If done well that can be erotic and it fits well with “competing” situation you described.

The line of defense tried by the AI-crowd to deal with copyright problems is that the data model is not large enough to really store all the original input so they argue it must be using “intelligence” to generate the text/picture... ...It is just that Nobody can tell what is really recorded in the AI-model. We have no way to know what is hidden there and how high the risk for vile behavior. It is bit like a the-house-has-not-burnt-down-yet-situation but nobody has an idea how to check the fire safety. That the model forgot most of the input does not mean it forgot the text that will cause copyright problems How much space data that takes after compression is only easy to calculate for lossless compression. What kind of compression ratio that is possible for lossy compression is an open research question. If you consider the Johnson–Lindenstrauss lemma and how it has been used in real world applications there are grounds to suspect that AI-model forget a lot less than now is assumed by the AI-crowd. I think a ban on AI generated content on AFF makes sense. People have been banned for posting stories stolen from other people to promote their hit count so why should we not worry about a tool that allow people to generate infinite text?

Catching up with reviews I have missed and there is two reviews for my sexy villain on a rampage story. A shame that I don’t get email when I get reviews when they were written. Thank you for the review. I have actually been toying with the idea that the setting could work for follow up story with “Hero on a Quest” when somebody tries to fix things. It sounds like it will be very long story so I am bit hesitant to jump into. I have far too many epics going on and the Carmen story was meant to be a short interlude that became much longer when I kept coming up with more fun to write scenes. Having a surprising ending that makes sense is best feedback you can get. I am also very glad you liked the chapter 3 scene. It was much effort to write the first person narrative from the lead person that is not entirely trustworthy narrator, but chapter 3 scenes feels like the occasion when the effort paid off. A big thank you for doing the reviews of my story.

Doing a poll is generally only a good idea if you expect a representative part of the target audience to answer. Even worse you with low response rates don’t know if the same people or even the same kind of people are answering the polls. If you can setup a patron scheme then it makes sense to doing polls, but outside that I cannot imagine that it will work with AFF like stories or fan fics in general.

If the first chapter does not match the rest of the story it might be a real challenge to fill in the blanks. Writing is writing no matter what you work on, but motivation matters a lot so if you don’t feel inspired by redoing chapter 1 it might be better to work on future chapters. Perhaps you can write a new beginning that jumps directly into chapter 2. The ideas in the bullet points can be used for flash backs that you use in later chapters to explain what happened before your current chapter 2?

Thank you for the encouraging review. If you liked the beginning I have good hope that you will that later part of the story to be good. I have learnt a couple of new things during the years I have been working on the story. It is not finished yet, but the endgame is getting close enough that I have started to map out how the story ends. I hope you will get the chance to visit Stockholm, it is quite a lovely place. Especially if you stay clear of the more scary places where the lead characters go urban exploring.

A number of best novels in history has been written in first POV. Stories like “Jane Eyre”, “The Catcher in the Rye”, “To Kill a Mockingbird” and “The Hound of the Baskervilles” are famous examples. From another point of view I saw a list of the 50 best first POV from the last 20 years. I recognize a number of the authors but none of the books. Highly successful authors, but they are well known for the books when they did not use the first POV. I suspect the first POV books are also good but it is damn hard to get it right. It is not like it is impossible to write good first POV, but unless you are willing to devote the time it took to write the famous books above, the likelihood is great that your story would work better with another POV. I had exactly this experience with my story Carmen Elisa Needs to Die (https://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109195) were I used first POV since I wanted the character talking to the audience. It is really funny at points when the narrator is obviously hiding awkward truths from the reader, but in hindsight the value of those scenes is very shallow to the effort it took to make the other scenes work. I have lost count of how many scenes I tried to write but rejected since they were to hard to write in first POV without the scene getting too long and awkward. I am really proud of the story, but it would not be the first I recommend to a new reader.

Chapter 11 has now been posted. We finally get to the masquerade party that Ronja has been dreading and it gets harder and harder to keep the secrets about the sexual depravity hidden. If you review it the likelihood I review some of your story increases a lot...

Or that he/she has put up a script that on a schedule scan the site for see if there has been an announcement that the site is fully online again. You cannot get around that if the legitimate users are told something that information is also available for the attacker. As an aside...maybe the crew should try if SonarQube can help you to track down weak spots in the codebase. I have never used for PHP, but I have seen it find really obscure bugs in other languages.

I think the worse problem is that even if the site has done nothing wrong it is damn expensive to prove such. Getting the feds to care enough about the site to go after the attacker require a lot of work that is probably is better spent increasing the security of the site. It is of course irritating if the attacker gets away but the risk is great that going the legal way might burn out the AFF crew.

Personal opinion is that posting multiple endings and ask the reader to decide is betraying the reader. Why should I bother reading the story if the author cannot decide the point of the story?

What are we supposed to compare against? There are loads of stuff in life that I can do easily, but will not be bothered to do...there are many taxing things that I do despite them taking serious effort...if I am assigned a task it turns easy or taxing depending on the circumstances. At the end of the day question is pretty much of the how long is a piece of string type.

Please fix the code so you load https//www.adult-fanfiction.org/globals/ckeditor/ckeditor.js instead of http://www.adult-fanfiction.org/globals/ckeditor/ckeditor.js It cannot be much work to search the code for all instances of http:// and fix these (unless it is safe content that only is available through a http site), and it is work that should be done sooner or later. The restriction about loading mixed content was introduced for a good reason since mixed content is vulnerable to man in the middle attacks when the http connection be used to introduce tainted code into what the user believe is a secure connection. Technical savvy users knows how to disable the mixed content checking but these people also know why mixed content checks was added in the first place. People who are not web developers should not have to deal with things like this.

No luck with clearing browser cache. The javascript control in Firefox show the following error I suspect the problem might be that you are trying to load http data from a https connection. If you are using Chrome you won’t realize the problem since that browser has switch to https as fallback but other browsers will warn or block the request due to security reasons.