InvidiaRed

From JayDee on April 06, 2021 I definitely had a little trouble with threading some of the bits together on this one, but I assume the surrealist side is kind of the point with the various gods/entities and past/future elements mixed in through dream and ending? Glykon did say that Logan would share a dream. -The ancient/powerful god with the snake, I was worried for a moment there it was gonna turn into a Harry Potter crossover :p I guess that Logan couldn’t intervene because it was more of a vision of the past rather than actual time travel? Duncan repeats the worst moments of his entire existence when he sleeps. The incarnations may be interred in history but they are still him and he is still them. A reference to a moment of awesome to essentially tell Marduk himself momento mori just after his crowning moment of glory. It seemed to be covering some of the issues for why they had their falling out with the angels of that world? Or possibly I misunderstood that! Kinda wondered if those feathers later on in the present/future were tied to that somehow. Foreshadowing and also who did he see after that? *nudge* @InBrightestDay will be happy when they eventually catch up. I definitely couldn’t tell for sure if Logan was in the future as he woke up, or, since neither Hel nor Glykon had spotted anything if it was only a timeskip once he hit the mailbox and found it stuffed full of crap. An entire year worth of ads and other spam and mail. Duncan enchanted his mailbox so it could hold much more than it should. That said The Year That Never Was- Is essentially that, reality is unstable from the damage and when someone tried to force their will on it snapped almost everyone a year into the future. Mass confusion and chaos even without the pandemic. Glykon’s whole bit was great – loved the line about a god and a doorknob – but still just loving the heck out of that character in general! Glykon is a treat to write I find it adorable that he’s definitively has this grandson/ granddad dynamic with Logan despite being way older than Logan. Not a child but not a teenager just yet. One last thing – on the forum you said Southern Wind but the title here is Southwestern Wind – I see that a ‘southern wind’ picked up in the story so was that just a typo/old title used on the actual chapter or is it a shifting wind? =p Part two will be Hel’s POV

From JayDee on March 14, 2021 Always feels a little annoying to see a story with 5000+ views and no reviews/only one person reviewing. Folks’re clearly checking it out, could give some feedback. Ah well. Valentine’s Employee Only Services. Hey! You’re saying you can’t write sex scenes but bam! That’s a brief but fun coupling you got there. I especially liked that kiss followed by Argus getting Harry inside. Character development can be tricky. Argus wants to help in his own way. Sex scenes are hard but I’m getting better? “Shadows that shouldn’t be there that sort of thing.” …does Harry suspect Peter Pan is coming for them? :p I kid I kid! Don’t tempt me =p This one did feel a little choppier – another pass for typos would probably help it some, but otherwise another solid part. And not just Argus’ solid part. ooof will try to make sure the next one is better.

Satsuki is an incredible and complex character without a doubt she’s holding back. She’s an apex human at the pinnacle of human power and she makes it clear Junketsu this alien organism that mimics clothing serves her. Not the other way around. Symbiotes such as Venom and even Carnage itself would end up her bitch. That said you characterize her perfectly. While she can absolutely destroy the base she’s absolutely aware that doing so would deprive everyone of this perceived only place of refuge, possibly kill everyone including herself as well as potentially make every threat that this city holds aware of their existence. And the whole party? Team? Cast? they all have no idea whats out there. These are their first days but they already know this place holds horror and death. She’s perfectly in character cautiously holding back. I actually disagree, I think you nerfed the Hierophant not Satsuki. Its existence implies not just Xenomorphs but an idea of infestation, I do have to ask the character’s aren’t inhaling Chemical A0-3959X.91 – 15 are they? Since that implies anything from the protomorphs and all the nastiness of the engineers genocidal but masterful weaponization of life itself.

Satsuki locked eyes with her, steel in her eyes and voice. “Alexander of Macedon was sixteen when he won his first battle. If anything, I’m behind.” you can just see her VA saying that. The acknowledgement by Nighteyes that even the thought of running would be dishonorable when humans are fighting it anyway. Since Engineers genocide everything they find disappointing. to put the magnificence into perspective. Its like spartans watching civilians quite literally taking on a god. Its something a warrior culture would never allow to stand to allow a “inferior” species and one they use to cultivate Xenos en mass to do something that legendary. If Nighteye didn’t fight, it would be an admission that the Yautja are beneath humanity.What I’m trying to say its incredibly lore compliant “It slumped down, hanging limply from the impaling weapon, the bisected halves of its head flopping open to either side. A few twitches went through its limbs, and then it went still. It was dead.”

Chun-Li manipulates Ki as do almost all street fighters. Which is to say Kikoken is using the ambient life energy around and her own to form the projectile.

Ah yeah predator is in.

its a DBComix.

From JayDee on January 24, 2021 Part 2 (sorry for the delayed review!) So… is this the actual Jesus? The biblical fellow? Chap that might well be based on a Jewish teacher from around the time of the early Roman Empire? Like hanging around with fishermen? I dunno, I feel like that’s not an originals character there I like how his power is basically getting everyone to get along tho’ Now that’s an ability coulda come in useful up before that religious court! He brings out the best qualities in people. Frost Giants went straight into party mode. That’s what they’ll remember a great time of drinking and feasting and the whole walked into a gruesome death will become nothing more than afterthought. Still loving Glykon – just having a demon fight in the background. Squeezing ass, taking names… Fighting underworld demons all by himself. So, Duncan’s kinda… hibernating? Healing up until the spring story? Close, Ereshkigal felt his death and sent the Gallu demons, The seven spirits of the underworld to come collect his body and since Glykon didn’t have hands they succeeded. He’ll be back she can’t leave the underworld and close friends need time to catch up. Ya know, that Jesus fella has a history of getting nailed at Easter. Good thing Duncan is a one-at-a-time dude really. Gotta feel a bit for Logan, but he seems ok. Party time with the giants seems fun too! Logan knows Duncan is dead but he’ll remember party time with family and Meeting with Hel.

One of the better deaths for sure. Rather than say the Red Death.

The Endless are a touchy Bunch. Thankfully Death is one of the best depictions of it, no grim reaper but a happy goth