InvidiaRed

I mainly ado full mage build. I should probably do that whole OP sniper archer everyone seems to do. The spells can be a little lack luster buts its hilarious when you can heal yours companions faster than they can get hurt.

Chemical burns tend to be worse because acids will continue doing damage until washed off/ neutralized.

From JayDee on June 01, 2021 Part 2! (basically the DM comments!) In terms of fairly brutal helpless darkfic it’s pretty fucking solid. Some interesting ideas -I’ve listed a couple bits that stood out – and it seems to be pushing on your existing storyline. I always figured Lucifer’s big advantage was his cunning and brain though, bit like Loki really. Is he gonna take it lying down? Absolutely not, He’s more concerned with the fact that for all the hard work he’s done in keeping the status quo that he personally and his poker buddies have done essentially means nothing. Since the main body for the gods has quietly chosen to destroy man. So by securing the aid of pretty much the designated bastard. There’s some small glimmer that it won’t all end in tears. He may act eviler than he truly is but it’s an entirely different thing to be the sextoy and gimp of a god of evil. For the general MM content – I’ve written a lot less of this so you might be better asking someone with a lot more writing experience to look it over. MORE SPOILER LIKE COMMENTS This Zahhak snake guy is way less funny to be around than the snake with puppets dude! But, not a complaint, you’re going for darkfic, right? Anyway, seems like these bunker dwelling assholes probably had it coming. Generally good guys don’t get bunkers. So, fuck ‘em. Let the god of evil have his fun. This is very much a every dog has his day. In this case, while the world is reeling from waking up a year later and a pandemic the evil gods have all the chaos they need to put their plans into motion. “Lucifer's knee erupted in a shower of divine ichor.” – Nothing wrong here, this is a great line! Fuckin’ kneecappin’ the devil. Then knocking another couple limbs off, pretty brutal! Also really cool of having Lucifer undo that zipper with his teeth and get a cock in the face. That’s…. that’s something I’ve not seen before I don’t think. I’ve seen coming all manner of noxious substances, and oviposition, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody coming fire ants, or other bugs. That’s a hell of good idea! Thanks Cumming swarms of vermin paints a vivid picture. Doesn’t it? Haha I kinda want to see you use it since I unironically love your writing. Its also something Ahriman really would do. Since canonically, He’s a god that chooses to be a bastard. ‘ It is not that I cannot create anything good, but that I will not. ‘ He’s very much the woke up and choose violence kinda guy. And nothing sounds as petty as losing your crops to a horde of locusts just because some random asshole wanted to rub one out. Lucifer having an Olympian buttplug in was also cool and this here: "You whore." Ahriman said, pleased that he didn't have to break in that unconquered hole. "You've been fucking an Olympian! Did they all have a turn? Of course, Zeus had a taste of you. You're going to catch something from that manwhore." That’s pretty funny. Solid bit of levity as he’s talking to his victim there. Of course, Zeus would fuck anything. I find it funny that Ahriman accuses of Zeus of having STI’s but here he’s literally giving luci vermin and likely exposing him to all the sexual infections. Ahriman is a god that sees the destruction or desecration of beautiful things as a beautiful thing. He finds beauty in ugliness and ugliness is beauty. He’s complimenting Lamashtu here because really does find her grotesque appearance wonderful. Growing the snake out to wrap it around Lucifier’s dick is another idea I really don’t think I’ve seen the like before. Really inventive! At this stage I’m not sure if it’s like a chastity-bondage device, or a living fleshlight. (Both, you say? Well played!) It was a multifold way to , prevent him from using his manhood and keep him randier than a bitch in heat and remind Luci than Ahriman’s pleasure is more important than his own. Lucifer is his gimp. His bitch. And since he’s filled to bursting with vermin he’s going nowhere for the moment. Pleasure venom swelling the balls is another cool image. It’s not like he’ll be using them and he has to feed that snakehead something haha. just the Antichrist chap and then the epilogue

From JayDee on May 17, 2021 Well that's dark! Dismembered and still defiant there for that prisoner was kinda cool - solid description on the heart pulling there. With the mention of the drowned roosters I was making smutty jokes in my head - "It's an AFF story and cocks get wet" etc but I'm guessing that's completely unintended with the dark tones. Well, fuck them gods right? Down with ragnarok! Those wolves are fun too. Just a badass pack doing wolf stuff for mama. Mama does not fuck around when it comes to family she plays to win. Everyone else at best falls into the category of acceptable losses if they’re even considered at all even Duncan himself isn’t safe. She will deprive Asgard of that fated glorious last stand even if it means she has to kickstart another apocalypse. If her children live it will have all been worth it. The next chapter however, Ahriman is providing a challenge, I’ve never written an utter bastard before so I might PM you to at least look it over. @JayDee you portray evil characters so well.

From JayDee on April 18, 2021 Glykon is best boy! Riding around like a goddamn feather boa on a giant! Healing the heck out of the big ol’ fluffer. Literally every time Glykon is speaking or doing something is awesome. I wanna see the further adventures of the snake with the puppets. This isn’t exaggerated hyperbole, Glykon really is great and you’ve done just amazing with the character, his dialogue and actions. Glykon was a genius to invoke the same being who envenomed the great wolf. I wasn’t sure if the double negative near the start – ‘mother didn't not have serpent eyes’ – was intentional. She’s a being that doesn’t quite fit in either place. Hel doesn’t quite fit either being a goddess of the old and the infirm, the normies who couldn’t die gloriously on the battlefield and head for Valhalla they all end up at her hearth. In a sense she’s the original Helga Hufflepuff. The one who got everyone else but cares for them all the same. Of all the asgard she is the closest to humanity. The old and the infirm like to talk and so she is aware of things happening on midgard second to Odin. Asgardians tolerate her but they have all heard the eddas from the skalds of old. They all are very aware on how the story ends. So much fear because of prophecy. Prophecy is being broken is irrelevant. You could say she’s outgrowing her role.There is fear there who will she become… Or who did she became? After all, it could be the way Hel thinks of things, and similarly when there’s the mention near the end of part 2 of the warship having IBMs – was this meant to be ICBMs or is there an IBM weapon I didn’t know about? (I had an image of it showing up with some old 386s running Doom, although IBM have made much more than that) Techincally one doesn’t have to put the C. I’ll fix it Duncan having a lawyer and that lawyer working with Hollywood to appear in the exorcist movies was kinda an unexpected twist. Has this been stealth Exorcist fanfiction all along? An ancient god was flattered that humanity remembered just don’t bring up the sequel lul. He messed with the cast when he could’ve done so much worse(The actualy movie set had enough spooky set going on that it was considered Haunted Is there any cocksucking in Hel or is she more of a ladies Goddess of Death? Putting a label on a deity is a bit hubristic but Hel fell for a being that similar to herself. Someone who could understand her dualistic nature and Melione in particular is both Olympic and Underworld, A goddess of madness,nightmares and of the restless dead. Hel is sterile and can’t have kids but like her mother she is loyal to her partner.( In that sense she’s the closest to Duncan) They got catching up to do. Fenrir was a strong second favorite character here – badly wounded, just getting the fuck on with it without complaining. Getting your assbeat and seeing your own death tends to cause reflection. He found a being he couldn’t overpower. He knows more than Hel who while in the dark isn’t daft. The world serpent however beats them both on knowledge. Did the orb of venom get taken anywhere for a purpose or was it just a bit of toxic waste “Chuck it in a pit and forget about it” disposal? Its primordial nature lent itself well to creation. That’s where most of Glykon’s power went. Changing it into a palm tree, Fun fact, the palm tree is the desert version of the tree of life. Glykon couldn’t cure the venom so he merely made it something else. Something much less dangerous but also showcasing that this supposedly dead goddess isn’t quite gone. (Aka another incarnation of Duncan) “She was a monstrosity, Lucifer would absolutly and resolutely admit he had never been so flaccid in his life. The sight of her alone made Lucifer feel like he should try dick.” Lamashtu is ‘the” original bogey man the goddess of sudden infant death syndrome. A monster of the ancient world grown mighty and unbowed and one of the few surviving children of Anu. No one not even the angels themselves at their strongest ever managed to get close to killing her. Lucifer is a hedonist and while he may not like humanity. The easy life and comforts humanity has invented and or provided means Lucifer is very status quo. Unwilling to allow his creature comforts to perish. He’s very much in denial but in his heart of hearts. Prohuman no matter what he says to the contrary. That line coming out of nowhere was both awesome and hilarious. Fuckin’ nice work! So… yeah, only negative as before, a bit choppy. Could use maybe a spellcheck. Otherwise some good characterisation and lines bringing it through! Could you show me where the choppy bits are?

Keeping kermit tho cause I find it hilarious <3 and now its canon and all your fault

adizhsignin si a taebdaed rehtaf

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109700&amp;chapter=3