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Oh, it’ll be that newfangled alt.sex.stories over on that usenet I expect. I’ll get my 56k modem out and soon be speeding down the information superhighway! JayDee, never managed to summon a dragon, but did attract a drake with a dropped sandwich by the river.

It’s the holiday season again. Celebratory times down in the village. The lights are up, the tinsel’s out, Old Tup and his fellows are a’roaming for beer money. Locals keep thanking me for ensuring the sun will come back over the next few years. Not really sure what they mean, but as I’ve been invited to be guest of honour at the seven yearly village feast I’ll put up with the local turns of phrase. Last feast was just before I moved here, actually. Oddly enough, the guy who rented Blot Cottage before me was guest of honour then. Poor guy tripped and fell on a “flint knapped biface”,whatever that is, up Ritual Rock on the moor where they have the feast, I heard, so it became available at a great price. I hope you all have a nice time as well! Seasons greetings to all of you!

That is on purpose, to reward authors and encourage them to go back and update older stories to use new site features.

When I say, “The world would work better if women were in charge,” I mean just about anyone but me. Why? First fact: It’s “my job” to make sure that all the lights are off and doors are locked when we go to bed because my husband will zombie walk right past a door that is standing open. Second fact: we go to bed when the sun is still up and wake up after dark so customers of my husband’s store can panic-buy their milk, eggs, and bread at the crack of dawn. This means when I check the back door, I get blinded by sunlight through the kitchen window if I’m up too late. Well, a few minutes ago, I flipped the switch on my way out of the room, but the light only got brighter. I spent probably about a minute and a half squinting at the glowing boob-light, wondering what sort of black magic electrical fuckery I was in for now, and contemplating what a sledgehammer would do to the fugly glass shade. Then…it hit me, just like a sledgehammer. Y’all. I just tried to turn off the sun. With a light switch. And got pissy when flipping the switch just made the room brighter. So, yeah. Just about any woman except me. I would do my level best only to get knocked down by a barrage of blonde moments. I’d attempt to bring about real, needed legal, societal, and economic change. Instead, I’d get hung up on ridiculous things like declaring boob-lights and whining electric cords illegal and enacting laws decreeing that pets are taxable dependents and people can be considered pets if they’re not fully housebroken. The world would burn.

The Monster Under The Bed x My Sleep Paralysis Demon (Those fucking squelching noises, I swear, it’s grim folks, grim).

What I said: “7 oz can of chipotles in adobo.” What the phone heard: “7 oz can of Chipotles in a dildo.” Even my grocery list is not safe.

I’m juggling a lot of stuff in my life right now, from watching shows people want me to watch (Frieren most recently) to trying to overcome fears about my appearance to sign up for a dating site, but I hope there are still some people around here. I feel bad that I don’t post things as often as I did when I showed up here...six and half years ago now. I may not be one of the OGs, but I’ve been here a while, haven’t I? 😄 The good news is that I actually have a new story in the works! I’ve finished the first chapter, and will keep working on it. I don’t really want to start posting it until I’m done, but it’s a sci-fi/adventure fanfic and I had a lot of fun with that first chapter. In broader terms, I hope people here are doing as well as they can. I know I don’t show up as often as I’d like, but I think about you guys a lot! 🙂

The saddest little face in the world…

Nothing like a trip to the veterinary ER to make a night interesting… Long story made short, Freyja had an abscess of her left anal gland. How did we know this? She decided to pass blood. While I’m not particularly squeamish, nor prone to the vapors when confronted with blood, this is my baby girl. She is not allowed to bleed, or have pain, or do any of the things that will make me want to strangle a handy god or three. She is an innocent furbaby, and deserves nothing but joy. But this at least was something that can be dealt with, and she is now home, loopy on pain meds and wearing the Inflatable Collar of Great Annoyance. She would like everyone to know that she lives with exceedingly evil humans, but we will be forgiven with sufficient treatos.

Doing some small tweaks. Member profile tabs are now all URL sticky. Are there any other areas that should be URL sticky?

In my 2013 Phineas and Ferb fanfic “Candace’s Perfect Body,” there’s a scene wherein Dr. Doofenshmirtz captures Perry the Platypus by trapping him inside a wool sweater and then using a huge blow dryer on it to make the sweater shrink around him. Tonight, I watched an episode of the recently revived Phineas and Ferb in which Doofenshmirtz traps Perry exactly that way. I’d love to think that the writers got the idea from me, but honestly, they’ve used so many different Perry-traps over the years that this coincidence seems like a statistical inevitability.

Not sure who this mystery writer is, but something tells me they enjoyed getting the chance to write that story. Call it a hunch. 😉

...eh, haven’t had a whole lot of ‘em. One of mine was so unhappy it inspired another writer to write both a oneshot really exploring the misery and a multiparter to give the plucky heroine a more upbeat fate. How’s about you. Favor the happily ever after?

So, getting some running around done, so I don’t have to deal with the chickens and the snow…. Ye gods...you’d think they never saw the stuff before. 🤣

Ah shucks, that kinda thing might chip away at my deep seated self loathing!

You all are making me miss my IBM PC XT, with its blazing fast 8088 CPU, 64k of RAM, and that spanky 10MB hard drive. And talk about operating systems? MS-DOS, baby! (I blew up 2 XTs and an AT before they gave me a PS 2, guaranteed not to faint under pressure.)

😆 “Gawd as my witness, that man is broken in half.” Well, next fic won’t be smut (The Lake House is non-erotic), but hopefully it’ll still be a good read!

Now I hear a pro-wrestling announcer, “Bah gawd! It can’t be! InBrighestDay has returned to AFF, swinging that sex fic like a mad man!”

As a follow-up, specifically to the @JayDee point I missed in my previous post, I too miss the days when there were tons of entries to these holiday anthologies, but maybe it’s cyclical. The other writers are still around, and if I can throw a story into the anthology after being absent from the holiday lineup for years, then you never know when someone else will reappear! 🙂

Well, it’s almost a week after the new year...but you know what? I’m posting it anyway! @JayDee, @Thundercloud, @InvidiaRed and all the others who were interested but who I can’t remember right now, Meaningful Gifts has been added to the Winter Holiday 2025 anthology! I thought this was going to be up earlier today, but then I had to spend some time fighting with/learning the secret ways of AFF’s formatting, specifically how to keep the site from compressing all the paragraphs together into a single chunk of text. 😅 And don’t worry about me ignoring your stories! I will be reading and posting reviews for the already posted holiday chapters over the next few days. 🙂

“Hello, tech support? Yes, I clicked the wrong button and a rampaging porn monster burst from my machine…. yes… yes…. yes I did try turning it off and on again…. I showed it a JayDee story followed by an InBrightestDay one… No, it’s already eaten all the cookies… it’s currently in the other room trying to order a big meat pizza it can’t afford to pay for and then hire a plumber to “clean some pipes out.” Look, just tell me how to stop it playing cheesy synth music every time it starts doing something.”

Pro tip: When it comes to burying bodies, remember to call 811 before you dig!

I am getting dangerously close to actually finishing Meaningful Gifts, but I’m probably not going to have enough time to do much more than proof-read. I’ll try and polish it a little, but it’s still going to be kind of a first draft, so I hope it goes alright for anyone who reads. 😅

For all of us who celebrate, may the light return after this longest night. Solstice Blessings! 🌅

More broadly speaking, I’m definitely tired of the “AI slop” on YouTube. It particularly bugs me when the video is supposed to be about something factual, because you don’t know whether the AI is using actual facts or just making stuff up.

Ok, I actually made some progress on The Lake House today before having to leave for work. Let’s see how far I get in a week.

Agreed. Where you REALLY see AI is in some of those visual books on Youtube. Hubs likes to listen to them. Mind you, I’ve read countless sci-fi books, so when he’s listening, I can usually tell him which book and/or author they’re stealing from 🤣

A nice quiet birthday was today

The great thing about writing Star Trek fanfic is that there’s almost nothing canon about Vulcan and Orion genitalia, so you can pretty much make their bits work however you want.

And they’re rude enough to only get it on when you’re in the bed right above them. *shakes head* No class at all… As for me, depending on what you consider “wrong,” I may have never written a right pairing. 😅 My established pairings have an extreme age difference, to put it mildly (18-20 year old man and immortal women centuries to eons old), and I’m working on a brother/sister incest pairing. As for why, it’s a bit difficult to explain. When it comes to the extreme age differences between human/nonhuman characters, there are published authors who write stuff like that (see the popular A Court of Thorns and Roses series), but to get down to why it appeals to me, I think it’s a fantasy I have as a man who’s always been unsure of himself, especially with women, and there is a fantasy of a shy, nervous young man being introduced to sex by a knowledgeable older woman. Kevin/Luzurial doesn’t exactly fit that mold since they’re both inexperienced regardless of age, but the other examples do, including the incest story (older sister/younger brother). The “why” on the incest pairings is somewhat more complex; I’ll return to that when I have time.

Never trust any book with a tagline or summary of this would make Lovecraft scared. Lovecraft is not a viable reference of fear. Man was afraid of Penguins, Air Conditioners and the Welsh.

Kids these days will never experience many of the rites of passage my generation valued more than gold. For instance: saving up your allowance for three weeks during the summer so you can buy one of those giant plastic Pixie Stix at the public pool’s canteen and downing the whole thing in one go to use it as a snorkel and spending the rest of the month with a burning feeling in the back of your throat that tastes like cherries, chlorine, and stale pee. …those lucky saps.

Numbers…. for several mine (I generally record in the mornings): Dale’s Game – Jan 1st @ 3704. 20th @ 3711. 28th @ 3791 Repair Guy – Jan 1st @ 5087. 20th @ 5099. 28th @ 5238. Jefferey – Jan 1st @ 19218. 20th @ 19261. 28th @ 19514. Thus, many dozens/hundreds. So if it’s genuine on the increase, that’s good. If it was, for whatever reason, being under-counted before, and that’s fixed, that’s good. My worry was it being bogus due to a glitch as I know how code can go.

There isn’t unfortunately, I can see general site wide traffic as well as new registrations. As far as google is concerned, the age verify pretty much stops it in its tracks. The improved archive search is much more reliable as people can search/filter by content tags on their own meaning more people actually find the content they are looking for.

Given the current tech market, might be the way we’re all heading.

Use gopher?

If you can’t get it by FTP, is it even worth getting?

I actually wanted to say a bit more here, not just to apologize for speaking up here before seeing if clearing the browsing history would help (I knew it fixed an issue with the age verification button, but arbitrarily assumed this problem was completely different), but also to say something I think goes unsaid a lot. I know @DemonGoddess and folks like @manta2g do a lot of work behind the scenes and may be stretched very thing, since donations can be scarce. I just wanted to say that I appreciate everything you all do, especially when something happens with the site and I’m suddenly anxious about what to do, as happened just now. I’ve never really interacted directly with either of you, but since I know that sysadmin can be a stressful job and can feel very unappreciated, I just wanted you to know that I don’t take you for granted, and that what you do for the site and for the people here means a lot to me.

Start time: 9 pm CST on 1/18. Projected end time is 6 pm CST on 1/19 Manta2g has been working her coding fingers for us, to update the archive to support PHP 8.x and other things that sorely needed to be updated. Members: Updated members dashboard Members have an account and can log in Email system fixed to prevent email providers from bouncing emails Activation and password reset bug fixed Resend activation option available on login screen (This may be needed if having problems logging in) Notifications system (if enabled in profile) Authors receive new review notifications (fixed) stories in the current reading list send notifications when a new chapter is added (New) Authors can now report & hide malicious reviews Authors can now see who has recommended them Authors can see who is currently reading their stories Authors can see who has recommended their stories Authors can add AFF forum links to review replies and story discussion. Authors can now set stories to only be visible to other members (required to be logged in to read) Members can now report stories directly from the archive for TOS violations. New story manager & editor Users: New archive level search engine New archive level advanced search engine Stories can now be filtered by tags Users are people who use the site without an account. Cleaner interface Robust authors/members search Updated TOS, Content Guidelines, & Privacy Policy Content Tags for AI usage Updated contact form Advertisers: New advertising system. self serve detailed statistics Something to keep in mind, once these changes roll out, you’ll need to manually clear your cache and cookies, or the pages won’t draw correctly. Beta Feel free to poke around!

@InBrightestDay FYI, I just reviewed “Meaningful Gifts.”

Ah well, I have to actually finish it first. But Julpups had a dream, a dream to see Willow getting cocked more times than Davy Crockett’s rifle, and left with a face like a painter’s radio, and in possession of an exceptionally well-travelled hershey highway, (admittedly, the challenge was not expressed in quite those terms, Julups being a somewhat higher-class individual than me), and it is now my hope to actually succeed in finishing what I started! That all babbled, if you’re a Buffy fan and like the sound of the idea, you could probably take the challenge and do a better and quicker job than me. It looks like the subdomain’s been a bit quiet of late, so I am sure any new contributions would be good ones. Although when the new series happens it’ll hopefully get busier. I haven’t really been to check it out myself for years, I only just got back into fanfiction mindsets recently.

Apologies if this is annoying, as you almost certainly guessed this from reading the topic, but just in case, you weren’t aware, @GeorgeGlass, I have posted a review of your holiday story. Again, not trying to be annoying; it’s strictly a just-in-case thing. 😅

Checking back some (ok, seached the forum for ‘Meaningful’ :D) , I see you’ve been working it on and off since at least 2020. I know that feeling, trying to take the time to get something down exactly right. I generally just said screw it and tossed out something wrong instead :D I for one remain looking forward to it. I like some antici…. pation! [/Dr Frank N Furter]

Winter Holiday 2025 is UP!

Well, as you all know, I was able to make progress on The Lake House, but not to finish it by a week after Halloween. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though, because I was struggling with how to integrate the theme of the piece into the ending, and it wasn’t until after the deadline had passed that I realized how I might be able to use it. So the extra time will (hopefully) lead to a better end product when it’s finally completed. I’ll keep working on The Lake House, and will either post it when it’s finished or throw it into the ring next Halloween season (fingers crossed that things are still stable for me next Halloween). In the meantime, I’m working on Meaningful Gifts again and have left reviews for both Invidia’s and George’s chapters of the Halloween story. I’ll read BW’s chapter on break at work tomorrow!

I’m probably way too busy and appalled at recent world events to be this bored. Or at least, I ought to be. Someone accused me of not being able to write properly. Someone in an official capacity. I should be too rageful to be this bored. Meh.

Well that’s the curious point. Would a thruple qualify as a pairing? The same story I have Dawn/Buffy/Faith. A few other types of pairings too but they’re not out yet. In the Riverdale fandom, I have a pairing coming up involving Cheryl/Betty. Although they aren’t exclusive.

Oh, my. Can you still call it a pairing when there are 4+ people involved? Because if you can, than my Star Vs. the Forces of Evil pairing is Marco/Star/Jackie/Janna/Princess Arms/Kelly/Hekapoo/Brittney/Higgs/Starfan13. No, seriously, I wrote that one.

I know it is a first world problem, my life is not in danger and no one is trying to kidnap me off the street, but dealing with FAFSA under this regime is beyond frustrating! Are we great yet?

Earlier tonight, I fed one of my non-fanfiction short stories through Pro Writing Aid’s “chapter critique” to see how it measures up against my fanfiction. I never thought I’d see the day when AI would smut-shame me. Yep. Seriously. “…some might find the level of detail in the sex scenes excessive.” What if I don’t wanna associate with that sort of person, huh? Fade to black is for wishy-washy people and FFN, not my filthy shapeshifter plowfest. Stay in your lane or bend over.