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I really appreciate the clarification there! I’ve seen worse too, but I’m happy with a B. B minus maybe. I can say also you’ll probably want to avoid the Buffy fic I’m working on since there’s a whole lot of frantic sloppy drool-splashing face fucking with extra heavy loads planned for it, on the plus side I don’t usually write sound effects so only 2 out of 3 would be really bad… Also, instead of choking frog I picture a Goblin, Glurk, who just gives the best BJs. “Tavenkeep! Why’s this place called The Goblin’s Head?” “Go see Glurk in the back room, traveller, and take a gold piece.”

I liked it in particular because it made it feel like a carnivorous plant or something similar, where once a prey animal is drawn in by the “lure”, it still takes a while for the trap to fully close, like the slow-moving tentacles of a sundew. The sudden drop would have worked too (more of a Venus flytrap vibe there), but I kind of like it better this way. This is a fair question, and it deserves the full answer I couldn’t condense enough for the review. So, this was a solid B, I would say. It was pretty good, but I think it could have been hotter. I wanted to lean especially into the positive, however, because I’ve read enough blowjobs in erotic fiction to know that most people write them in ways I don’t like at all. The standard erotic fic blowjob tends to go a certain way. 1. The motion is kind of frantic, like the woman is trying to win a prize for time (that would have been amusingly appropriate here, but the point stands). I tend to find sexual content more arousing when it starts out more relaxed and then kind of accelerates toward the climax. 2. There’s a sound effect that gets made, and it’s nearly always the exact same sound effect too: “Glurk! Glurk! Glurk!” Suffice it to say I am not aroused by the sound of a choking frog. 3. There’s always an emphasis on the amount of drool/spit coming off the blowjob, and it usually reaches the point where I honestly find it gross rather than hot. I know I’ve read seriously arousing blowjobs in erotic fics before, but they’re shockingly few and far between in my experience. I agree that there is room for you to improve, but I gave a positive mention there because I’ve seen way worse.

Could be worse – drop the magic hat down an old latrine and suddenly you’ve got the Golgothan demon from Dogma after you!

The Man on the Clapham Omnivorebus – Part 1 up! Part 2 is basically finished but just going through final grammar/spelling etc checks. I wrote the whole thing out last month, and just did the final draft on part 1 yesterday, with part 2 outstanding. It’s set in the same setting as some of my other stories, but no need to have read them to understand either the sex elements or the supernatural elements. I mean, Dylan hasn’t, and he’s the main character. Review by @InBrightestDay on January 11, 2026 Thank you for the review! No alerts! I’m not very alert myself though so can’t hold forum software to a higher standard. Not bothered about your avatar covering mine – might actually work in my favor given your better reputation! I didn’t let the fear stop me – I just think maybe I should have done! Thank you, though, I’m glad you like it. It was kinda a silly wordplay idea I stretched into a story! The concept of a monster bus is kind of inherently silly, but I figured what the hell, try and be a bit serio-nope. No, there’s a references to a monster being defeated with a dildo [That could be any blonde haired, occasionally-black-eyed, pervert pulling the ‘you shall not pass!’], and a werewolf getting a groper to shit himelf. Oh well! Man, I wrote that line last month. Then the other day I saw a clip of something and I was like “Wait, is this AI? There’s a fucking dinosaur stomping a car in the background.” and then it turns out that the dinosaur – a model – was, in fact, in the background and the clip was genuine. It’s crazy, the days of the camera never lying are long, long gone. I’m just glad it’s the Omnivorebus and not one of those crappy backward Hell names. Suberovinmo? Actually, not terrible. Heh, SCP – Lets send a few Class-D’s to catch the bus. We’ll find it eventually! I’m glad it came out creepy! It’s supposed to be over-the-top in unverse creepy to really make the captive upset and scared and suffer more before they die. Otherwise it’d be quicker to just drop ‘em through the floor into a pool of digestive acid. In universe, it was was not the creation of a then-entirely-balanced mind. In the real world, eh, same probably. The male refractory period be a harsh master. It’s only potential, so it’s not like a pro-life idea at least. Dylan’s been kind of confused, or terrified, or off balance, but finally he hits something he knows the answer too – the fuel tank’s gonna take some time to refill… I don’t think I ever did anything with hair play before, and of course usually it’s pretty much just a teasing/feather touch thing, but that demon’s got a lot of hair, it’s heavy, there’s skin rubbing too, and mentally a fear of death getting his body into reproduce save the genes mode, and all that led to a million to one chance and he’s boiling over like an unwatched pan. I assume some of my characters would react differently, for example: Shannon: “OOOH! That was fun! Come all over me again!” Dylan: “To save my life?” Shannon: *Anakin meme* Dylan: “To save my life, right?” Did you really like the blowjob? I genuinely found myself thinking I hadn’t got any of it all that good after all this time. I’ve written a couple more since, working on another story, and feel like I’m improving while still not *quite* there. I dunno, I guess my writing muscles are atrophied. That’s one of those pubs that has got to have been independently made 1000s of times in the last 41 years, since the first Terminator, I assume, but at that point you’re trying to find a different way to use it. Hey, thank you again, in fairness I don’t even remember a lot of my best, or worst so it’s kinda a vibe feeling that it isn’t as good! I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a review! Part 2 should be up within a week. Pretty much done, but need to final proof it and maybe make a couple small changes.

@InBrightestDay re: “What Am I to You?” It’s nice to cover all the bases. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll be back to smut next year. Thank you! Wait, you’re Florida Man? I see you in the news all the time. This is all pretty autobiographical. I remember snow in all of these ways. Thanks for the review!

Starting the year off right...I have the fecking flu. Ugh🤢