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I believe that at the moment, only readers who are logged in to their archive profiles can leave reviews. No anonymous reviews are permitted to prevent a repeat of the attack that shut us down.

Hi, GeorgeGlass and all. Is that supposed to be some Appalachian kink transferred back to the UK Aristocracy? “Make him Earl like a pig!” perhaps?

Making him an earl will really draw the romance-novel crowd. Wait, what were we talking about?

I know… call it “Fifty Shades of Earl Gray!” A complete treatise on brewing tea.

Hi all. I’m looking for some suggestions/examples on how to have a first-person narrator describe their own speaking voice without coming off as either a narcissist or being written by a bad author. Why? In the one review I received on Riding the Lincoln Way, the reviewer stated that they believed the first person narrator spoke “robotically,” and in monotone. That is the farthest thing from the way I “hear” that character speak, or for that matter any of the main characters. While all the “under eighteen” characters speak “better than their ages,” they also possess and express the full range of emotions. For example, in the first chapter, four characters actually speak. All four have a “Chicago-midwest” accent and speak English. The “under-eighteen” characters speak in a “natural” register appropriate for their given ages. Otherwise, they match with the examples below. Danny Dvorak (14)—Robert DeNiro in character in a Martin Scorsese film. In real life when not acting, Robert DeNiro does (supposedly) speak like a monotone robot, so no joy there. Danny is also just a little bit of a “wise-ass” and joker, despite his severe looking yet handsome face. He is naturally outgoing. He has a nasty temper. However, since he grew up in a house with two redheads, he’s gotten used to not losing his temper, and thinking things through. Michael Dvorak (13)—Joe Pesci, likewise in-character. While he doesn’t hold grudges, he can become obsessed with things. He’s naturally shy with strangers, but has had to “work” through that shyness more than often enough. Once any “shyness” is done away with, he can be so enthusiastic that he literally takes you along for the ride with him. His temper is near-legendary. It’s also near-unpredictable, since his face naturally portrays happiness, even when he’s actually sad or furious. John Dvorak (37)—Gregory Peck, especially in-character as Atticus Finch from the film version of To Kill a Mockingbird. Delilah Johnson (16)—Lauren Bacall. Thanks in advance.

Hi, BronxWench. The review was from 2018, and only covered Chapter 1.. The reviewer hasn’t posted anything since then. I’ve made minor edits to Chapter 1 and other chapters since then. Since the Archive opened back up last month, I’ve also done and uploaded major edits on the first eighteen chapters, and I’m working through the rest. So for all I know, I might have already fixed at least the worst of it without realizing it. Since the one review is the only review, and since the review was generally favorable, I’m reluctant to delete it. Yet, while I’ve worked on making the story on the page match the story in my mind, I’m not confident that I’ve actually done it. Thanks.

I would be curious as to why the reviewer felt the narrator spoke “robotically.” It’s hard for me to decide what they meant by that. Is the speech pattern stiff and/or stilted, or does the reviewer find the narration to be lacking the spontaneity that generally occurs in verbal communication? I almost never write in the first person, because it’s not my preferred method, but I have done it. It’s tricky, I will admit, to get the voice across. I do use actions, and I do have my narrator reveal his thoughts and emotions to add some clarity. But the biggest thing I do is to read my dialogue out loud. If it doesn’t flow from my tongue, it won’t flow in the reader’s (figurative) ears. But that’s simply my way of handling it, and I won’t ever pretend I know more than the next bloke about how to write.

Just noticed that there seems to be no review button on stories. I can read old reviews but can’t leave them.

Thank you for the clarification!

Hmmm…. could be a half chapter on the brewing process twice a chapter….Or “they fixed themselves another cup of tea”… down to “she sipped her tea” and presume the MC simply had an auto-refilling cup. Gets me thinking, that with some lithium batteries. As tea leaves can be used more or less indefinitely, need a vape pen like device, with condensation coils to convert the humidity into water, boils that water, seeping it through those tea leaves, and make it ready for sipping. Then your MC never has to brew another cup, simply replace those leaves and batteries every so often!

When I re-read my manuscript, I could actually see the point she was trying to make. It was almost laughable how often my poor MC made himself a cup of tea. And I’m really good at the traditional British method of making tea, from loose leaf and not sachets. I’m slightly conversant with chanoyu, although I would never dare to actually try to perform the tea ceremony myself without proper training. I like a good strong Yorkshire blend in the morning, PG Tips in the afternoon if I’m having tea, and Earl Grey before bed, if I decide to throw over my beloved coffee for a day.

41669! yes i got 69! hahahahaha