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Everything posted by JayDee

  1. If you've ever died this topic may be triggering and so you should stop reading now. I'm serious. Get your rotting zombie/overdressed vampire/transparant ghost etc ass out of here. I think it'll be an execution for me, probably by firing squad or decapitation. Or, possibly more likely, a freak accident involving a copy of Catch 22, two marmots, a 1958 Plymouth Fury and a telephone directory with every name containing the letter "t" crossed through. How about you? Hmm?
  2. JayDee

    Spam review

    http://comics.adult-fanfiction.org/review.php?set=read&no=600060544 Hi, most recent review on the above appears to be a spambot. Do you need to take any info/record from it for anti-spam or should I just go ahead and delete it?
  3. Ah. Yes. Harry Potter and the wotsit of wotsits. I think the most emails/comments etc etc I have ever had for me to write a sequel/more parts to any story I ever did was the one about Hermione getting busy with the neighbour's dog. Huh... Did another HP story for the turkey prompt, having been unable to think of anything for the bird or the country, so I am starting this thread with review replies for Wild Turkey: Thanks for your reviews and comments all of you! pittwitch: Funny's good. It's definitely a pairing that is hard to take seriously (well, unless you have a multichapter angst fest of building UST), so I think the summary alone would be enough to make a few people smile. I think if this story had a tagline, it would have to be a homage to the once popular posters they sold to students, "Wild Turkey - helping old witches have sex since 1996...." Fairy Slayer: I wasn't meaning to suggest Petunia took liberties, just that a few sherries had her acting intoxicatingly/talking bollocks. I can see how it gives that impression though, especially as PWPs tend to make the reader assume everybody is fucking everybody else. I figured assuming potion made sense, especially as love potions aren't unknown at Hogwarts, though hopefully they keep 'em away from that Felch Filch fellow. I wanted to include the - yes, admittedly obvious - pun with something about an "old bird" in there punning with Turkey. Probably for the best! Though as I say to pittwitch I think that there's just something inherantly funny in Harry/Minerva. I used to chuckle in the later Connery movies where he had 40-50 years on his love interest too, though. Harry's 16, he gets aroused by an older teacher, he's gotta justify it! Apollo : I only thought of the stuff because someone bought some back from America in the summer. I was really stumped for something with turkey until I recalled that Wild Turkey. Quite a challenging prompt this week. Glad you enjoyed it! Shadow Knight Another seeing the funny side! I can get where the ewwww comes from - if nothing else, there's always something slightly squicky about a teacher and a student, even if the student is over the age of consent (off topic - did JK ever give a wizard world age of consent, what with different laws and all? I know Scotland has 16, and America doesn't have a federal one, but with quite a few states - like Rhode Island - also at 16.). Immoral abuse of position and all that though. Very naughty. Especially without using one of those polyjuice potions to look like... uh, still naughty. I dunno, I think she's got class and grace and that counts for a lot! I smiled while writing the thing too!
  4. I'm not a big one for original writing, so it's even more appropriate to just have one reply thread for this section! Sure, the first story is slash but that's only 25% of my original stories (and in pure length quite a lot less because the Angel story is thousands of words (and earned me a brilliant email asking if I was against God, and if not could the seminary-attending-yet-porn-story-reading emailer do a follow up where the angel was saved by twu luv. I said go for it... That's not a joke by the way. His email domain was a religious college. I swear by Eris t'was so.) Anyway, review replies... Harvest Mouse was my third plot idea for the prompt, and possibly my first ever cons m/m scene. Not a banjo player in hearing. Asexual Biped - Thank you! I like my anthros with a good streak of the animal in them, not just a human with a snout, as it were. pittwitch - Thank you, but honestly I thought that line was sort of corny. Ahem. I guess once harvested you can't sell it at market. Fairy Slayer - ...Corny, I say, corny. Thank you for your review also, I am glad the background stuff worked. I don't know why I couldn't just start it with something like "On this Earth there are furries. Deal with it." but the story wanted people to know why. Given the length of the story, I was seriously considering leaving out the sex, adding in more character introspection and then maybe finish with Gerald going into the barn... but I'm a pornographer dammit. Hey, Harry's fucking his boss's willing son; if he wasn't happy it's a great way to be a disgruntled employee Apollo - Thank you also for your review. I get what you mean with the pacing, I find the 'several hours later' jump somewhat jarring myself. I'd put up it being probably my first consensual m/m scene in defence, but I doubt my second'd be much better. Can't believe I have done four flashfics in four weeks... Thank you for the inspiration!
  5. JayDee

    Naruto The Cluck

    Please can someone write a story where Naruto is turned into a chicken. Thank you for your time.
  6. Wow. Books. In all my years of fanfiction going back to the pre-JD days I don't think I have ever done a book based story before, although I guess some of the Harry Potter stuff is backed up with non movie bits I'm one of those fanbrat types who would rather think of (as an example) Snape as Alan Rickman than the less-appealing book descriptions. Don't know why I haven't had a story for the book catagory before writing White Snow, Red Snow, Yellow Snow for the last AFF prompt though. Gotta love books. Review replies for this story! Thanks as ever for reviews. I, like just about everyone, enjoys getting feedback Shadow Knight - I'll agree with you it's not really Death for the Prince given one big Lion sneeze - also, heh - can bring him back, but the Death tag also goes for his comrades, servants, prospective workers and - being an army and all - probably a few hookers/courtesans. And animals. And probably the occasional unfortunate dwarf. With a few decades before the kid with the vial of UbiqHeal turns up, they're worm food Don't be bolder... in fairness, if I had been writing with more time and a higher word count, I'd have detailed the splatter more. Fairy Slayer: Some of the monsters cared about the horses. There's pretty good eating on a horse... I think if the whole well equipped and experianced army goes somewhere and doesn't come back, it would tend to serve as a pretty good warning against invading again all on its own Jadis has done worse in canon when people gave her cause, she really is pretty badass all on her own! pittwitch: ...Probably a bit of despoiled brown snow under some of the dead guys too. Evil is sexy. Dammmit I think I still have a deep rooted fear of the White Witch from 25 odd years ago when I first had 'em read to me, then there was a TV series... The mean old baggage from the Rapunzel story had nothing on her! Regarding yellow snow - also missed a chance to have someone write their name With eating, the trick would be to finer one of the stupider Minotaurs and follow a Family Guy joke by offering him a "lemon snow cone"... Certainly some horse eating to ensue if nothing else!
  7. JayDee

    JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Harry Potter)

    The Boy Who Ate Shit And… Sorry for the slow reply! Thank you for the review. I’ve recently found out some of my stories inadvertantly cause petrification so it may have been a turning to stone rather than arousal! Ahem, I recently saw an episode of a show that had Helena Bonham Carter’s blood-spattered character suffering with constipation on a toilet through a musical-fantasy sequence and it inexplicably reminded me of writing this filth. Funny old world.
  8. JayDee

    JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Books)

    White Snow, Red Snow, Yellow Snow Hi! Thanks for trying to review, but unfortunately it’s showing blank so I don’t know if you were going to be negative, positive or a mixture of both
  9. Still hoping to get back and read! There’s a new Thundercloud chapter fer wossnames sakes! If I end up reading the christmas stories same time as halloween so be it, but I’ve either been busy, away walking, or had no internet. Bit of a shitter. Away again after today for a while.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. JayDee


      Only for long enough to write that status and this reply! Hoping to be back more after Christmas though.

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Aw.  Well, cursed internet!  More time to write?

    4. InBrightestDay


      I might manage to finally write Meaningful Gifts this year, so you might have smut from me before the year ends.  Fingers crossed, everyone.

  10. JayDee

    Throw your ideas in here!

    Well. It’s October. I got nothing worth a damn. Hardly have any ideas. Forgot how to write. Even reading is proving tough to maintain concentration. But, here: ** A vampire suffers from low self esteem because the others are all Counts while he is just a local squire. ** An exhibitionist finds themselves trapped amongst the deaf, mute, and blind. ** After a particularly heavy session on Arthur Guinness’s finest, The Dullahan wakes up to find his head has married one sister and his body has married the other, and they hate the sight of each other. His hungover horse says “I did say nay.” ** A user splits Microsoft’s One Note into two notes and the resulting energy release scours the surface of the Earth clean of life, except for a group of deep miners who emerge into the smoking ruins of the world. ** A supervillain launches a diabolical scheme to turn all the world’s porn furry. ** As the heat death of the universe finally winds down to stillness at the end of all things, a stillness that cannot even truly be called eternal for eternity requires the passage of time and even time will end, Valve releases Half-Life 3 ** The abandoned Mars Rovers return…. and they are HORNY.
  11. JayDee

    JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Harry Potter)

    The oddest sentence I got was one Neptunian year in prison for that incident where I offended the ambassador and nearly caused a solar system wide war
  12. JayDee

    JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Movies)

    You Can Take The Boy Out Of The Moisture Farm… Thank you for your comment. It’s definitely not the best written Star Wars storyline. Though possibly still better than anything in The Phantom Menace with Jar Jar. I wrote it as a request for someone. I don’t think they ever reviewed it. Incest between consenting adults with no difference in power or control levels (and not having kids because jesus christ look at some of the aristocratic families) oughta probably be nobody’s interest but their own. Not that that’s what is shown here of course, this one’s rapey.
  13. In this thread I will reply to reviews for any of my movies based stories. Wow, 18 prompt stories in before doing something movie related. Yeah, there's been all kinds of media for the Wizard of Oz but the prompt story "Poppies! Poppies!" was written with the 1939 movie starring Margaret Hamilton (oh, and Judy Garland...) firmly in mind. Easy enough to avoid an original book based story as the only books I've read are Gregory Maguire's much later take The movie also has the advantage that Judy played an older Dorothy, being 16 when they started filming. It's purely a personal thing and I mean nothing against other writers, but I'd feel squicky writing it with the book version. In the end though, what can I say, it has a scene in a poppy field! I know I did a sleeping rape story not too long ago, but I think this one was sufficiently different. Especially with the monkey. I had to refer to the Wicked Witch of the West just as "Wicked Witch", or I would have needed an extra three words each time (at least by that stage in the film she's the only known living Witch - you'd have to be a necrophiliac foot fetishist to go for the WWotE, not that there's anything wrong with that fantasy if it moves ya...) Only 100 words, dang it! Anyway, reviews: bloodravyn: Glad it appealed to you, thanks for the comment. Awesome porn is the best kind pittwitch: Heartless/evil, what's the difference? Weirdly the first image I had was zombies bursting out amongst the poppy fields of Flanders a little while after the first world war... Ding, Dong, the Witch got head... I'm constantly impressed that you manage to stomach this stuff, so thanks as ever for your kind review. Fairy Slayer: Thanks for your review! I didn't remember a full explanation for the curse in the movie - just figured he was all tinny (but not Tiny, if ya know what I mean) but I was reading about it afterwards and, wow, some of the Tin Man stuff in the earliest book fits in the old "messed up fairy tale" tradition! Going through that sort of thing you'd expect him to be more messed up with violence, really. He just needed the skirt out the way without taking off the whole dress, although the poppy leeching inside thing is a good idea. If anybody else asks I'll say sure, that's it "riveted for her pleasure" - haha I like that, ya gotta find a way to work that into a story of some sort The reason I made a point of saying no rivets was because I figured if I went down that route then it would have ended up a lot gorier, blood everywhere. Especially if they were rough edge rivets. Probably it could be specifcially described as being more like one of those bumpy dildos, but there is the word limit stopping too much detail.
  14. JayDee

    JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Harry Potter)

    For the Honour of The Slytherin Well… this is an odd comment. I’m certainly going to Hell if such a place exists, and I am disgusting, but I’ve no interest in children and have never written minor1 stories, or any minor2 stories with characters under 16 –and as I’ve got older I’ve tended away from writing stories with even 16-17 year old characters, although this one was written back when I was a lot closer in age to the characters. I can only assume that this comment came from someone who masturbated so furiously over a story featuring actual children that, having blown a prostate-punishing load into their own eyes, they accidentally clicked the wrong story to comment on during the waves of post-orgasmic guilt.
  15. edit - Eep. That topic description should read 'games' subdomain. s'what I get for a self-copy/paste job. As with the comics thread I have started, I just don't write enough stories to need multiple reply threads so I have created a single thread to reply to all of my games subdomain story reviews, and I will make sure to identify which story and review I am replying too so there's no confusion. I wrote The Witch's Lust for the weekly AFF Prompt Witch and I have two reviews to reply too: pittwitch - Thank you for your review! I don't think anybody knows where the Witch goes when she runs off crying, but it's certainly a nice change for it to be after sex rather than the in-game violence Apollo - Thank you also! I'm glad my style here appealed to you, now my writing time is limited I am working against both word count and clock with the prompts so its good to hear it's coming across okay. I certainly am trying to go for a much lighter tone for my story prompt stories, to a lot of the requests I have done, so it may have been a mistake to focus on an extremely bloody game...
  16. JayDee

    JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Games)

    The Crushing of Cassie Cage Nice comment! Thank you!
  17. JayDee

    JayDee's Review Reply Thread (Cartoons)

    Mindy's Revenge Thanks for the comment! Yes, yes she is! The best shot of Chief Wiggum’s career! Entirely unintentionally. Thanks for your comment
  18. ...and so it came to pass I have two reviews for Tricia Treat, my latest gratuitously pornographic effort for the AFF Prompt wossname. Hypno009 - That's very kind of you; I was a little concerned the quality had maybe dipped with it being the third in as many weeks, but I am perfectly cheered with a 'very good' appraisal I am always happy to hear suggestions for stories - about half of everything I have ever written has been requests - so feel free to share your ideas, but I should warn I am very busy and not having a lot of writing time at the moment so I can't promise anything. As for being back, I never really went away...? Apollo - Thank you also for your review! I was hoping for hot, so that's good! I would have to confess to a little artistic license with the candy cock though. Every single one I've tasted has been pretty unpleasant and low quality... the fantasy usually falls short of the cheaply churned out reality where candy genitalia is concerned. A shame, really.
  19. JayDee

    "Nonsense reviews"

    *Clicks link* “OH MY GOD! JERSEY CITY!”
  20. JayDee

    "Nonsense reviews"

    I came back to about 30. Have been through deleting. Like others, I do prefer keeping my anonymous reviews open!
  21. I had a very close relative die in the summer and it’s kind of broken me too, as self-centred as it sounds when they’re the one who died, but I gotta try and move on a bit. Hoping to catch up on reading soon, especially the new halloween story jam you’ve got going on.

    1. Show previous comments  9 more
    2. Sparrow


      Sorry to hear about that, friend. You have my sympathies.

    3. InBrightestDay


      Just here to say what everyone else is.  I’m sorry for your loss, and if talking will help, I can always listen.

    4. JayDee


      Thanks all, I really do appreciate it. Sorry I’ve not managed read/review catch up yet.

  22. Sub: Games Title: The Last Weekend Story Written: http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600090713
  23. Gotta continue taking a break for a while, I’ll be back to catch up and finish reading some ongoing stories when I can. Stay strong everyone.

    1. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      Wish that’d work with the bosses at work….

    2. Thundercloud


      I wish you good luck.

  24. JayDee

    Introducing characters

    Small voice from the back: “Couple of large jugs…. of wine please.” As a disgusting pornographer with almost no fictional morals I say ‘No problem! Go with whatever makes ya happy Porn boobily and make the breast of it!” but I feel like reddit’s MenWritingWomen subreddit and possibly wider groups would react to the above with much the same level of hospitality showed by the maenads to Orpheus. You could alway counterbalance it with description of the man, “The sot’s undersized cock twitched in his breaches like a distressed otter, spraying his fear from a tiny slit shaped strangely like the dry lips of the old preacher. An jagged scar near the base told of the time he’d tried urinating in a Pike filled river, meanwhile his alcohol-damaged testicles hung loosely in a hairy sack that grew damp in the voided trickle.”
  25. JayDee

    How do you know if people like your story?

    “Fuck you, you cunts!” “Gosh Harry, you’re talking like a local already.” “CUNTS!” “Yes, you are too Luna.”