Keith Inc.

J...K...L...M...N...M? I'll go with O: Outraged optometrists ogled my open outerwear and offered me oral.

After the view of the smoke-damaged furniture of the 'average smoker' and the frantic behavior of a smoker first thing in the morning, i'd say it was making fun of smokers. It's not quite the preachiness of most anti-smoking campaigns today, but it's certainly a tongue-in-cheek caricature.

Idahoan Indians inflicted idleness upon me in indignation

A gorgeous glamorous giantess grabbed me and groped me graciously.

Elephants in estrus elected to elevate my Edsel to the end of the El-train.

I'm late because: C: Clustered Caribou caught my Chrysler crossing the Canadian border.

Why are all these blueprints covered in Reynold's Wrap? It's the plot of Stephen King's first Romance Novel.

....really involved thank-you notes. Answering the thank you notes leads to_________

A! Uh, uh, uh.... the theme is: Excuses! I'm late because: Abraham Adams Asked me to Alibi his Assertion he Attended the Athletic Association's Axe-off.

Did you check to see if the passenger door was unlocked before crawling through the floorboard? ---- I have no idea how that got in there, doc.

Xyphoid Process (the little bone at the end of your sternum...)

You seriously expect me to believe that air is an acquired addiction? Okay. Show me. Can you stop breathing as an act of will? ----- Well, we're in a bad mood today.

Stomach

I haven't either. I have never seen a UFO

You got to suck on those? What did it taste like? ---- Boy meets girl, girl dumps boy, boy clones girl, takes his frustrations out on the clone, clone breaks boy in half, clone seduces girl, they live happily ever after.

Palate? Q: quadrigeminal plate

Oh! Ow! Ouch! Ouchie! Damn! Ack! Don't you just hate Lawn-Dart night at the Skating Rink? Twice a day, for thirty days.

Jawbone

So, Mitt Romney's been for and against abortion, and made qualifying statements to each position, and changed, and challenged, and ducked and weaved. Will we ever learn what his real position is? ----- A stunning display of tact, skill, medical knowledge and in-depth understanding of the elasticity of nylon stockings.

Brain stemming maybe, with an ice pick... Is it wrong to plot the death of strangers?

Yet I have, often, felt remorse for breaking it off with your ex SO. The parties, the dancing, the trip to Bayonne, New Jersey.... I have never regretted any attempt to get whoopee smoochies from my SO.

Esophagus

Did you fix the multimeter? Can we take readings in ohms, now? --- Sometimes you just feel like a nut.

A. Huh. Body parts not normally exposed to sunlight except on Medical shows A: Aorta

I have disliked those who rant too much for a response, riposte, rebutt. I have never won an argument with gravity.