Keith Inc.

Damn, i gotta find the rest of it, then. Of course, some of them are mutually exclusive...or will be. Damn, this disorderly desk.

Hmmm....half of my original list seems to have been lost in shipping. But, hey, feel free, anyone can contribute.

The list: 213 things Skippy can no longer do in the Army is a litany of behavior that Skippy actually did do, or threatened to do. This list would be the opposite. Things that a Mary Sue character never does, or else the character would be disqualified as a Mary Sue, becoming merely self-insertion. Die early. Die suddenly. Die mistakenly (as in, her sacrifice does not resolve the situation, no matter how SURE she was). Die needlessly (as in, one of the first few victims that die before the powers that be realize there's a problem). Die a virgin (unless at least four characters bemoan the lost chance to sleep with her). Admit that the pivot point of the plot is outside her area of expertise. Trip while dancing. Fart. Use the toilet in an imperfectly soundproofed restroom. Sing off key. Scream when a mouse runs across her foot. Scream when an elephant steps on her foot. Throw like a girl. Punch like a girl. Lose control of the car in a skid (excepting right after a land mine takes off at least one tire). Admit she can't drive on snow. Admit she can't drive in mud. Admit she can't drive stick. Admit she can't handle hard liquor. Fall for practical jokes (except when falling for the joke is a charity to someone whose jokes always fail). Leave the meeting because her security clearance is not high enough for the topic under discussion. Apologize for being a lousy lay. Apologize for being frigid. Apologize for imperfect personal hygiene in the intimates. Seek therapy (except when the counseling session qualifies as a bragging session). Miss a chance to lecture. Miss a chance to speechify. Miss. Look in the mirror and worry about her looks. Look in the mirror and consider the plastic surgery to be money well spent. Avoid looking in the mirror before her morning coffee. Pour rum (or anything from the wet bar) in her morning coffee (unless it's to counter the effects of the drug the evil-doers slipped into her coffee). Spend more time discussing the technical details of her brilliant solution than discussing the moral imperitive that demands she pilot the device. Develop as a character. Be forgotten after she leaves. Have to clear her throat twice to get the attention of everyone else in the room, despite the urgency of their discussion or the volume of firepower in the shootout. Have to explain it all over again after the interruption. Have to explain it in a different way for those that didn't follow the first explanation. Have to accept someone else's correction of her logcial fallacy.

Well, to be fair, the way i find most stories i read is to find what else was written by an author i've enjoyed. I'm more interested in the story itself, and seldom notice the dates. If it was updated a week ago or two years, it's all the same to me. I would HOPE that i woulc more courteously express my interest. Something along the lines of 'I hope that more of this is coming' rather than 'you must write more now.'

To me, all story writing is about characters. Which makes characterization an important part of the work. Some events in my life have helped me develop as a person, as a character, or highlight the sort of person i've developed into. Characters in 'What's Love Got To Do With It?' have a fight that my wife and i had when we first started dating. Almost word for word (except neither of us was Lilliputian at the time), it highlights the couple feeling their way through their relationship. My military experience is a lens that focuses my characters in uniforms. A clear understanding of why certain officers were my favorites (or my nemesis) informs the behaviors of the captain of 'Excelsior' or my veteran zookeeper in 'Lamia.' And various conversations i've had, in real life and online, that fleshed out an idea or ideal of mine have made it into my dialogues, more or less edited to streamline the exposition. So, real life is but one of the brushes i use assemble my paintings. In addition: 'Our Next Caller' was inspired by a radio station that encouraged their readers to visit 'freaky sex' sites they linked to, one being a fetish site i hung out at. 'Dolly' was born in my head from watching my kids fight over who got to play with a certain toy. 'Significance of Dream Elements' comes almost entirely from a dream...that my wife had.

Finally got inspiration for more chapters of Lamia, first chapter's done and available at Lamia II. The adventures of a keeper at a preternatural zoo. An sometimes outside the zoo. With animals that are at least partially human...or humanoid. Somewhere between bestiality and xenophilia, i reckon, as a warning. If my shrunken woman/giantess kinks in my other works were offputting, you might want to give this one a pass. If not, i hope you enjoy it.

Wow. I just found something i won't write. A blog. http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600093676 I'm not sure if i could handle people offering reviews of my life presented directly...

But it currently IS the law of the land. If the whole, or a significant portion of, the fanfic community turned to making profit off other people's copyrighted works, then the lawyers will start circling like sharks. Or if people in publishing merely percieved fanfic as a threat to their profits.

Why bother with the distinction?I'm not getting paid for my stories, but i do profit from them. I get hits, i get reviews, i get feedback. I'm an absolute review whore, so i never delete any, but that's because any feedback is a credit, in my mind. If you dislike a review, if it doesn't make you enjoy the process of writing and posting stories, why NOT delete it? Unless you think you owe something to the reviewers...? And actually,I tend to read the reviews before i read the story. If it's something stupid like 'i hate (the pairing)' or 'i read the first paragraph and you suck' then deleting them would be a service to other readers, so they don't have to shuffle through such dross to find a real review that might help them decide whether or not to read the story.

YOu own the book, but not the ideas in the book. You can buy a movie, but it's a separate deal to buy the rights to make a sequel.

When we were little, we'd watch a movie, or TV show, and want to go do that. We searched the woods for the Spindrift, we figured the flight path the Flying Sub would take through the canyon, we drew straws to see who would kneecap Doctor Smith. We'd strap plastic guns in the places James West kept his backup piece. We had decks of cards held together with rubber bands, and a complicated arrangement so that a third of them flipped up so we could call the Enterprise. We took the ideas of writers and actors and made them our own. We played in their cities, their universe, their futures. We didn't just discuss 'who would win, Darth Vader or Gandalf?" we beat each other bloody with our light sabre/staff. The urge to play in other people's worlds is, in my mind, central to an active imagination. And a wonderful compliment. I mean, there are those on 90210 that i'd have slept with, but no one i wanted to be. But i'd sell a kid to serve on any of the Enterprise ships. I'd encourage FF, personally. If i ever get published. Just not for profit...

I started writing in Fetish Porn. Rather specific fetishes. To me, 'taboo' just means that there's probably not a lot of interesting stories about it. I write about what interests me, that's easy. And i write about what interests others, even stuff that squicks me out, because it's more challenging as a techncial piece. Every time i think i have a limit, in the fiction, i keep finding myself taking it on as an exercise.

MAD Scientist #7 is started.

That's it! Open a family-friendly version of the franchise. No porn, but swimsuit clad men/women. Unless the person giving the order gives....the secret code....

So, he needs to find a way to market it indirectly. Direct mail, the adult section of the supermarket freezer, the freezer section of the adult film store...

I read that book a few months ago. Don't really recall the details of how it ended, i'd have to reread.What was it you wanted to happen? Regina and Ned hook up? What else would you like to see? Violence, as Ned can handle pretty much anything the Amazon can dish out? Romance, although neither of them were terribly experienced at it? Nothing especially clear appears in my head just yet, but let it gel. Let me know what you're looking for.

And, it's finally complete. Which is good, because MadSci7 is already forming in my skull

FINALLY thought up the next chappie of http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600092847 Mad Scientist Porn #6. Which opens up possibilities all the way to the end. Mwah. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I thought it was going to be KoDT. "I leap out from behind the dwarf and WASTE him with my CROSSBOW!" Yeah, there's nothing like ruining days of planning by not following the GM's script. Nasty rat bastards. On the other hand, i always awarded a thousand EPs for any character action that left me absolutely speechless. Didn't happen often, but when it did it was amazing.

Watermelon Ice Cream (Be careful spitting the seeds...they're frozen solid and will penetrate skin.)

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600093233

A. Eh, let's go easy. Baked Foods. Applecrumbcake

Wicked Wyoming Witches waltzed wastefully westward when my wagon was waiting at the corner of Waconah and Waverly.

The director for the next Harry Potter movie is hiring Adam Sandler to play a new instructor at Hogwarts. ---- Because the spread was Death, the Two of Cups, The Tower, The Page of Swords and the Seven of Donuts.

Hey! Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if ALL the TV shows on all the networks turned out to be in the same world? If Mulder and Scully investigated spaceships that turned out to be from Battlestar Galactica, and CSI investigations led to prosecution on Law and Order, and if a murder at the Iron Chef competition was investigated by....? ------ That would be one of the signs of the apocalypse...