Keith Inc.

I'm reading Kathleen Turner's bio. Her dad was a diplomat, they were in Cuba when Castro rose to power. One day when she was at school, the teacher told them to put their heads down and ask God for candy. When they raised their heads, there was nothing. So the teacher said drop your heads and ask Castro for candy. Sure enough, when they raised their heads, there was Candy! "Now," the teacher asked, "who loves you more, God or Castro?" I can use this on my kids. Lower your heads and ask Daddy and then President Bushfor a tire-iron upside the skull. Who is more willing to inflict cranial bleeding? Now you know that Daddy loves you more... Um, get some ice for that one.

The undersigned want to remove the Bible section from (mumble something) dot net. Not here. Although they'd probably jimmy up another petition if they knew about this place. I think the comments are hilarious. Not just the misspellings "THE BIBLE IS SCARED!" Um, did we mean 'sacred?' But the lack of understanding. I suspect that the (mumblesomething) admin didn't just decide that there had to be a The Books section. Someone had to write the stuff first. With the things dominating position in society, and ubiquity, both for itself and quotes from it, allusions to it, you'd expect that there would be a lot of people inspired by it, more than the Koran, probably. Plus, many of those that read the Koran are less likely to post on the internet than an Amish farmer. I'm sure that if someone used a surah to inspire PWP they'd make a place for it, nu? Some people just have no sense of humor. It's amazing how funny they can be, huh?

Or maybe he's deep into a defense mechanism and his way of coping is to try to convince the rest of the world that he's got a handle on things.I dunno. How could you tell the difference between an accurate worldview that depresses and an inaccurate worldview that depresses?

Fast forward makes me horny. When i was on my first command, my roommate used to rent porn tapes by the back-pack full. He'd copy them for the submarine patrols, loaning them out to anyone that was interested. But while he ran the tapes on two decks to copy them, he'd use a third tape to watch something. And he had no patience for conversations, setting, stripping, lubricating or anything but the actual bumping of uglies. So he'd fast forward. Any time i was in the barracks, no matter what i was doing, from about 1400 to midnight, there were people in the back ground groping each other at 4x speed. They enter the room, bump faces, appear sneeze their clothing off, jump into bed and suddenly there's these closeups of dangling boobies and penetration. Halfway through the cum shot, we're back on 4x, so the sperm shoots out like a staple gun, and there's more jerky movement until someone else is sticking it where the studio lights shine. I never noticed until just recently. My kids are slowly working their way through our DVD collections, stopping now and again for dinner, chores, weapons drill and to taunt the missionaries on the sidewalk. So while i'm surfing the net, they load a disc, get near the scene they stopped watching at, and fast forward to where they left off. And while the characters jerk their way across the space station, the back of my head is suddenly expecting Delenn to sneeze her clothes off and bump her face against Sheridan.

My 'working titles' often end up being rejected by the time i publish. I think the title is the last thing you should come up with. That said: Love potion number Slythe Good morning, Mr. Potter. Ten uses for Morning Glory Hammered By Grabthar

cool. Feels good to conquer new things like that, huh?You can now decide whether to tell him that, usually, within five feet of the tomato sauce is a shelf with a jar of pizza sauce; Or tell him what to buy so you can make sauce again until you are satisfied with it. KNEEL BEFORE THE COOKING GODDESS, MORTAL!

Would a painting of a necrophiliac's orgy be classified as 'Erotica' or hung in the hall marked 'Still Life.'

I think it's a matter of conditioning. Kids start off nudists, and you have to pound civilized behavior into them. WEAR clothing. no one wants to see the place the duck bit you. Don't be curious about what people in other changing rooms are doing, wearing, showing or have tattoos on, stop ducking under the half-doors to say hi. But you can condition in the other direction, too. My first week in boot camp, i was terribly self-conscious to use a restroom that didn't have a door. No one was looking in, and the only people on that whole half of the base were males but the idea that someone COULD have been was enough to constipate me for a week. By the end of my first tour at sea, (on an all-male submarine) i ran straight from the shower to my battle station and went through a surprise missile launch exercise naked. The weapons officer turned to me at the end and said only: You're dripping shampoo into the resolvers. Stop it.

JUST fought a duel...results: 1900 strength points expended, the arena is devastated and rubble of the stands rains down in the parking lot...but we're unmarked. Gotta love it.

Think of them as dogtags. You kill, you take the dogtag. Someone kills you, they take your dogtag and rifle your pockets to take your trophy tags.

Just had a theme night, earlier. Attacked everyone with a three digit HP rating using only a dagger. Except Teeta, of course. Used a cannon there... Five kills, seven non-lethal wins, and one loss. (Not counting the Cannon) It seems really odd to use one Strength point to absolutely kill a 33rd level fighter...

I've been killing time until my deaths/kills reset by playing the computer at Risk. Death, destruction and spreading my flag over the globe...as a time killer.

The closest i can imagine would be: The rules of courtly love: http://www.astro.umd.edu/~marshall/chivalry.html (written mostly for a guy, but it takes two to tango...) And lists of behaviors like those books from the 50's telling women how to be the most effective wives. Be ready with a martini and a smile, Have the kids clean and presentable. Clean house, dinner ready, paper waiting. All the stuff that made Phyllis Schlaffy all wet inside....

Well, i almost never kill you in a single blow now. I just screw my eyes shut and hope for the best.

Exactly where is the insult? Ad hominem is using insult in place of argument. If you're going to keep using not-science to refute science, i don't need to refute your points. You're just off target. Well, the best you can really claim is that life-as-we-know-it may not be possible. But that could only mean that life as we know it evolved to match the universe it developed in.If a puddle finds itself in a depression that perfectly matches the shape and size of the puddle, it's a bit arrogant for the puddle to claim that the depression was made just perfectly for it. This is just argument from incredulity. Yeah, i'll buy that. It may be that life developed on Earth instead of Venus because the conditions were right for life here while Venus is a burning hell. OR by life developing on Earth, it's come to have the right conditions for life while Venus is the way it is because life never developed there.Fifty-fifty chances don't really make THIS planet the object of divine intervention. Yep. Well, to a degree. If they're not TOO dead. And my grandmother has an unshakeable belief that there is nothing beyond this earthly life. Which one is evidence? Personally, the reports made by a person whose brain is not perfectly functioning, pretty much by definition, are not compelling evidence. Have they managed to determine exactly when these memories are collected? At death, after resuscitation? If the non-corporeal body is having the experience, how are memories transmitted to the corporeal brain for recollection? I was a sincere Christain long before i became an atheist. I prayed the prayers, defended the faith and believed in all my heart.When i got tired of the church offering platitudes instead of answers, i left the church, looking for the church that had a better grasp of the God i still believed in. None of them had any better answers. My atheism wasn't a choice, it was the result of years of searching for God. And coming up with bupkes. QUOTE MINE: The opinions expressed by experts are fine. I encourage religion, freedom of worship, opinions, freedom of speech. I'm just glad that most of the better ones don't seem to take God to work with them. For the world's most notorious atheist, i find it odd that i never heard of him until after he became a deist. Then again, it's his opinion, he's welcome to it. Maybe when i get to be 80 or so, i'll decide that the same evidence that's been unconvincing for years has become compelling.

When i was in about 6th grade, my mother argued in favor of sexual education. She used the phrase: Kids need to know what they're doing or they're going to get hurt. Hurt? I had just enough of the basics to be dangerous. I imagined a more direct, dynamic, physical hurt than long-lasting impact-on-life stuff. Like, there was a sharp ridge in there somewhere that would bend or lacerate a penis if you came in at the wrong angle. Everyone thought i was a perv when i found that medical poster of the reproductive system and stared at it for days. i was looking for barbed wire or ramparts.

I tried, here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/inde...;mary+sue\ to define a Mary Sue. Not as a litmus test as much as an attempt to capture the feel i get when i think the character is a Mary Sue. Or some of the behaviors that would identify, to me, a less blatant self-insertion.

A character, however based, with flaws is not a Mary Sue (Or Marty Suet).So, it may be a Self Insertion, but not an incompetent example of doing so.

Well, it COULD be a style. I've seen works where the narration foreshadows, judges, apologizes, reminds the reader... But you have to do it from the very beginning, and you have to be consistent. I think the movie 'Princess Bride' did a good job with it. When Columbo breaks from the tale to reassure the kid. But it has to be part of the narration. Has to. And used through the story. If it's done once, it's jarring. If it's in parentheses, in the manner of the OP, it's not the narrator, it's the author. And i tend to associate it with bragging. They're very pleased with a scene or a character and do one worse than a Mary Sue. They break the fourth wall that a story usually expends more than a little effort to create in the first place. it's not self-insertion but a walk-on.

Hoard? Oh. Horde! Uh...not intentionally, but maybe? For all the good it done me?

I have lost against others a time or two, but these days, i only die 'cause of you.

Dun't matter to me. Ten times more intense than what i have would be lethal. I mean, what a way to go, but still. Lethal. So, still happy. And the fun part? If i do anything that's so gender-specific and widespread that it's become a cliche for manly behavior, and my wife mutters 'Men!' under her breath, i can still give her shit. "What? Gender Stereotyping?! In this day and age! I mean, really! I put one pair of shoes on the dining room table to get the shoe polish kit from the buffet and you act like half the human race has an IQ of three. How would you feel if you were two seconds late for an evening out, and i suggested that all women were incapable of being on time for anything? Huh? What if you made a mistake and referred to our current president as Clinton, and corrected it INSTANTLY, but i still suggested that 'blonde' was your original hair color? Would you think that fair?" At least, that's the speech i INTENDED to give her. Three seconds into it, she made me eat my shoe and i kinda lost that position of moral superiority from righteous indignation. And an incisor.