GeorgeGlass

From Fairy-Slayer on August 22, 2016 Chapter six is awesome. First off, the opener was a great resolution to the cliffhanger that led into some nice exposition: Oskar's fangs make sense now, plus Marco's teasing about it later was cute; I’ve always thought that some kind of explanation for Oskar’s fangs was needed. Given all the time he spends in direct sunlight (usually on the hood of his car), the vampire thing didn’t seem plausible, so…half half demon. I also like the bit about Star's excitability and Oskar's unflappability evening things out. Some couples I know seem to have that kind of compatibility, so it made sense to me. Next, no surprise athletic and strong Jackie has a hardcore father. Nice of Marco to suggest the Nachos, and I especially like the quiet reverence Star used when backing up his claim about them. Everyone knows super-awesome when they see it…or taste it. J It's refreshing to see Tom being a bit more self-aware as he works really hard on his new plan to win back Star. The amount of effort and discipline comes through, especially keeping himself from fuming and instead directing his efforts into something much more useful: Janna. I love how you touched on her thought process while sticking to the effective narrative tone of the story. (It's not safe to get too close to the crazy, perhaps. ) I like getting into Janna’s head and trying to show how and why her internal logic doesn’t quite mesh with everyone else’s. It's great timing – well, a great lucky accident – on Tom's part to make contact with Janna just after she discovered "the plan" and the pieces had fallen into place in her mind. It was no accident: Tom had been remote-snooping around the school for weeks by that point. Were he a bit more perceptive, he probably would have identified Janna as a potential ally sooner. (But what is it with Tom and public bathrooms?) He was very suave and smooth in the in-(full)-person meeting, not even needing to do a full brainwashing but just a light rinse to take advantage of all of her bubbling feelings and wants. LOL at “just a light rinse.” But yeah, you don’t stay Prince of the Underworld for over a century without having at least a little game. She rationalized away any down-sides to his requests quite nicely, plus we know she's used to being a bit odd and a troublemaker, so any missteps are easily covered. Oh, but I must respond: "What more did she have to do to show him that she was interested?" Answer: Finally graduate from third grade. Janna attends the same charm school as Ronnie Anne Santiago. However, I loved her romantic imagery of Marco as her boyfriend, though Tom then made the excellent next step with his comment about him being between her thighs anytime she wanted. The guy really knows how to make a sale. I'm pretty sure I know what "the gift" for Star will be, If you can guess that, I’ll be very impressed. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it’s probably not obvious. but now I'm really looking forward to how he's going to implement his own plan and how he's going to make Jackie Lynn look bad in Marco's eyes. Is that even possible? Scarily enough, if Tom says so then I kind of have to believe it's true… No spoilers. *demonic laugh* Anyway, excellent work. I hope this story stays high on your lengthy to-do list. Thanks. Thank you!

Thickens like the dickens, yo. Stay tuned!

Re: "Guidelines" Thanks! I had a good time creating it; glad you enjoyed reading about it.

Re: "Country Summer" Even though dystopian fiction seems to be all the rage these days, I prefer to write utopian fiction. Geraldine is our real-world (more or less) representative in a world that is in many ways ideal -- not just because of the quaint, charming environment but because of the attitudes of the people who live there. Oh, and all the sex. I have it in my head that Maisy sees some of herself in Geraldine: a city girl drawn to the charms of country life. Too, I think that the very different life choices that Maisy and Geraldine's mother made probably caused a bit of a rift between the two sisters (due to geographic distance and their different lifestyles, if nothing else), so Maisy may be trying to make up for that in her treatment of Geraldine. No spoilers. Thank you! Yes, Geraldine has both of those motives for wanting to watch the boys in action.

Sorry, but to quote Candace, "What happens in dreamland, stays in dreamland." As for daddy-daughter-Doof action...let's just say that what I have planned is going to disappoint you, so sorry again.

From Fairy-Slayer on August 18, 2016 The formula in chapter 3 may have been Lisa's plan B*, but I give it an A+. I knew something was up the moment she said Lincoln had to receive the formula because the problem was with the sisters. (Sure, the injection could have made him register to the girls as "not a man" or something, I suppose, but this is a lemon after all. ) I won't tell Luan you said that. It would hurt her feelings. Also, great to hear her "I can do a lot of things" again, especially in this context. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have thought of repeating that line if you hadn't said something about it in your review of chapter 2. The intensity of the girls' desire for him was portrayed fantastically, so matter-of-fact and even with the realization that it was wrong. Lori saying as much and then ignoring it until after the first turn with Lincoln was great, and even better that with them knowing that all of the other sisters were watching eagerly too. No jealousy is certainly a plus, and the way Lori and Leni were able to get back to normal afterwards was a good sign. (Then again, that hamster is still on the loose in the vents, so…) Besides, the fact that they came to their senses right after orgasm doesn't mean that their desires won't come back. Much as in real life... Good thing Lisa included some anti-anxiety medication in the "save Lincoln's ass from dying from too much ass" formula. The bit about them being Catholic was perfectly timed and just a beautiful thing. Just makes sense, doesn't it? The bit about Lincoln being smooth was cool too, but given his life situation he would have some good instincts when it comes to making girls happy apart from sexually. Especially his sisters; we've seen a lot of evidence on the show that he knows what makes each of them happy. Leni's talking would drive most people to softness, if not insanity, but he made it work. Boy can speak Leni. The bits of detail for each climax are a sweet payoff for all the wonderful build up to now, and being to-the-point works well with so many girls lined up and waiting. Yep. Lots of lady Louds left to...darn it, I can't think of a word that means "satisfy" and starts with L. Great job on so many little jokes throughout too. Having Luna provide a soundtrack to the event was funny, and Lola's remark about Lana's overalls was fantastic. (I'm glad you ignored the first rule of Fight Cloud in this case. ) Lisa's bits of humor were great too, especially the flavor of the special painkiller for the occasion. (Good thing too because regular NSAIDs can dull sexual response.) I might write a The Loud House story in which the sex isn't constantly broken up by jokes, but this ain't that story. Best of all, you've left me satisfied but still wanting so much more. Thanks for another great installment of this happy tale. You're most welcome! Thanks for betaing and reviewing! *Speaking of "Plan B" I hope Lisa can whip some up for her older sisters so they don't end up having even more kids in that cramped house. Hey, now, no spoilers...

Re: "Country Summer" Thanks! I love them too. And soon they'll be loving each other.

Hey, if it couldn't be counted on, they'd call it Suggestion #34. That's what I'm all about, homey! Well, that and the humping. I rather wondered at the time whether that was an underhanded homage to Japanese tentacle porn. I wouldn't put that past the people who wrote the "You know, I'm noticing a complete lack of balls in this room" bit. Thanks for the comment!

Re: "Country Summer" Thanks! I have a lot of fun writing Mike and Earnest's dialogue.

From Fairy-Slayer on August 15, 2016 Chapter 3 was a lot of fun, getting to see Linda and Ferb's separate normal fantasies as they were slowly "corrupted" and the two came to meet. It was interesting that Ferb was able to realize it was a dream so easily early on, and more so that he figured out that somehow the real Linda's personalities and experiences were mixed in. Ferb is highly introspective and, thus, quite self-aware. I figured that he is probably better than most people at knowing when he is dreaming. Then Linda eventually coming to the same conclusion once their dreams merged was actually rather sweet, giving her a chance for some intimacy with her adopted son even if quite a bit different than nursing Candace and Phineas. Hence the reference to Freud (which Jomahawk, the beta on this story, suggested). I almost laughed out loud when the size of his desire translated to the size of his cock, and lucky that Linda was so understanding of that – and of dream physics making it possible to deal with it. Nice job of using his expressions to carry most of his communication, and it was very sweet when he answered in words when it was most-important for Linda to hear. Part of the fun of writing Ferb is finding nonverbal ways for him to say the things he needs to say (especially when he doesn't have Phineas around to do the talking). And his laconic nature adds a lot of weight to anything he DOES say. (The only big problem with the chapter is that _smaller_ black holes radiate away more quickly than large ones. It does feel counterintuitive to me, too, but perhaps the Hawking radiation from larger black holes is more likely to soon fall into the event horizon, or that both particles of the virtual pair are more likely to fall in together.) You blinded me with science! I struggled to come up with some sort of complex problem for Ferb to solve: I was going to make it the proof of Fermat's Last Theorem, until I learned that someone figured that out 20 years ago. So I switched to black holes, but it appears that my Discover-magazine-level understanding of physics was not adequate to the task. Any suggestions on how to fix this? Chapter 4 was just downright awesome: I'm better with buttholes than black holes. Candace and Phineas realizing it was a dream too and then deciding the only way to make it over was to *really* go for it and dig for the deepest, darkest fantasy. Phineas' desires were actually rather tame, To our porn-jaded eyes, perhaps. But I figured that to a mid-teenage girl and a preteen boy with no real-world sexual experience, anal sex would seem pretty far out. and Candace's dream logic about being able to make it feel good even if it doesn't was hilarious but also genius. Thanks! After that it was terrific hardcore fun for both, and now I can hardly wait to see what Candace will say now that it's her turn to admit to her perfect incest scenario. It's going to be very different. For both chapters I loved the perfectly-timed cutaways to Stacy & Ginger and Suzy & Jeremy (especially!), respectively. Thanks! The cutaway scenes struck me as a fun way to show that our four main characters are not alone in living out their buried desires in their dreams. Also, now that all of the Flynn-Fletchers in the merged dreams realize that they're actually sharing the experiences it was cute how the women made sure to swear the boys to secrecy before really letting loose. The only question is this: Where has Lawrence's dream-merge led him to? (Hopefully not someplace with bats or badgers or other dangerous creatures that begin with B.) No, but in many Latin countries, the first letter of her name is pronounced like a B. Heeheehee... Thanks for all the fun. Thanks for all the fish! I mean, comments!

From ANON - PhineasandFerbfan on August 15, 2016 Well, you certainly updated much faster than I had expected you to, but I'm glad to see the update. Chapter 3 went through a substantial rewrite after Jomahawk, who is kindly betaing this story for me, pointed out some serious weaknesses in the initial draft. Being a nonlinear type, I spent some time working on the subsequent chapters while I was considering how to fix chapter 3. In response to your review reply, I am impressed by the thought you put into this concept and the different way it plays out between Phineas and Candace on the one hand, and Ferb and Linda on the other, what with the latter two being more mature and in comparison to Candace specifically also more laid back about the whole thing. Thanks! It is important to me to show the difference between the dynamics of the two pairs. In my own story, I tried to handle the Jeremy issue by taking the scenario which canonically is most likely to cause a rift between Candace and Jeremy - Jeremy being one year older than Candace and thus heading to college earlier leaving Candace worried what he'll get up to there, as evidenced from Across the Second Dimension - and then pretty much amplify every flaw in their relationship until Jeremy breaks (Candace's obsession over the fact that he's not with her, her jealousy of other girls, putting her obsession with busting her brothers before hanging out with him) and acknowledges that their long-term relationship isn't going to work. That seems plausible; even Jeremy's near-saintly patience with Candace has to have a limit. I want to send you a link but I'm not sure if this site is as strict with censoring out links as its sister site is - anyway, it's on the non-adult counterpart to this website, followed by the code /s/11719508/1/. I hope that works. They don't censor links here (AFAIK); they just don't let them become active. You have to copy and paste. In any case, I'll give your story a look sometime. With regards to your actual update, I'm surprised that Phineas actually does have dreams like this, even if he knowledges there aren't a lot. Although the makers of Phineas and Ferb were always deliberately vague about the title characters’ ages, I figure them to be around 11. I think I remember having a few rather rudimentary sex dreams at that age. And I like the fact that he instantly manages to come up with the theory that they're meant to do more and live out their fantasies in order for the dream to finish. Phineas is a pretty go-with-the-flow kind of guy, even when the flow goes in a weird direction. Although rewatching the Skiddley Whiffers episode I didn't notice anything peculiar in that scene, I can certainly buy Phineas having an odd fascination with Candace's butt because of another episode, the Father's Day one. There's a scene near the end where the whole family is hugging Lawrence, except Phineas who puts his hands on her butt and lays his head against her back with a broad smile on his face. It hardly makes sense for him to do it in context and it really is a 'what' moment, but it does make sense that if Phineas had a subconscious thing for Candace's butt he would take the chance to snuggle up to it. Hmm, I'll have to rewatch that scene. And you made Candace have good reasons for agreeing to it, even if the shipper in me would have wanted to see Phineas slightly envious at the fact that Candace mentioned Jeremy and so clearly distinguishes between this one-time dream thing with Phineas and her real world relationship with Jeremy. But I know it would take a lot for Phineas to get jealous. Exactly. And my version of Phineas doesn't really have romantic feelings for Candace -- just familial love mixed with repressed sexual feelings that stem from the fact that she's a girl with whom he has daily, sometimes intimate contact. I guess it says something about me and my usual reluctant approach to sex scenes that although of course I wanted to read about Phineas and Candace having sex, I liked the fact that Phineas is turned on so much by the fact that Candace actually wants him to do this the most. Two things that Phineas consistently desires are to do the impossible and to make people happy. This dream gives him the chance to do both. They're experiencing, enjoying, and loving each other in a way they've never done before and although Phineas is always good-humored and undeterred by Candace's treatment of him, not even realizing her aggressive approach to busting them means she wants them to get in trouble rather than just telling their mother about the fun things they do, it must feel so good to have his sister act sweet and affectionate and welcoming to him for once. Absolutely. This kind of physical intimacy is a new thing for Phineas, and experiencing it with someone he loves (even in a non-romantic way) makes it all the more powerful for him. This will be addressed further later on. Nice work! Thank you!

Re: "Country Summer" (ch 2) Thank you! And don't worry--unlike this chapter, you won't have to wait a whole year for the next one.

I got a review yesterday, and it went straight to my inbox. Thanks, Melrick!

Carpal tunnel can develop very quickly if you do all of your typing with one hand.

Hey there, PhineasandFerbfan! Thanks for the detailed review. I will say that I find Ferb/Linda substantially more difficult to write than Phineas/Candace, because whereas the relationship between Phineas and Candace is pretty well established on the show, on-screen interactions between Ferb and Linda are scant. So I'm having to create a lot of their relationship out of whole cloth. I put Linda and Ferb into fantastical environments so that they could quickly realize that they were dreaming. If they'd just been in their bedrooms, it would have taken them longer to figure that out. Maybe not in stories, but I've definitely seen it in artwork. And I couldn't help but imagine Stacy speaking seductively to her little sister in that Kelly Hu voice of hers, which I've always thought had an underlying sultriness to it. Exactamundo. My idea about Linda and Ferb is that they are both more self-aware than Phineas and Candace--Linda because she's an adult, and Ferb because he's introspective. So I think both of them would be more wiling to acknowledge their buried feelings about each other than Ferb's siblings would be. Exactly. Each of them really needed the other to make the first move, so their subconscious minds created a situation in which that could happen. Not to mention the Jeremy issue. How are you handling that? No worries; the next chapter will be up in a day or two.

Has no one ever told these people that ragequitters never ragewin?

Thanks, I've put the address in my contacts. Now I'm just waiting for a review. (Yes, I know I could post a test review of one of my own fics and then delete it, but where's the fun in that?)

This isn't really an AFF problem, but maybe someone here will have a suggestion about how to fix it. Ever since the website got upgraded, my Hotmail/Outlook has been sending every review alert I get to the Junk folder. I have repeatedly marked these messages as “Not Junk,” but Hotmail refuses to learn. There used to be (IIRC) a feature that would let you add a particular email address to a “safe senders list” to prevent this problem, but if Hotmail still has that feature, it's well hidden these days. Any suggestions?

Thanks! I consider that high praise. My feeling is that even though Lincoln has had a lot of time to get used to that kind of thing, being on the cusp of puberty (along with his peers) probably introduces new awkwardness to having to deal with anything opposite-sex-related. Being big on writing incest fics, it became clear to me shortly after I started watching The Loud House that it was pretty much the ideal fandom for that sort of story. And the fact that one of the Loud sisters is a mad scientist opened up a lot of possibilities for plot devices to get some Loud-on-Loud sex going in a plausible way (by cartoon logic, at least). Will do!

Thank you! Being faithful to the characters is always a top priority for me, so I'm glad it's working for you. More "Whoops" soon!

Okay, I deserved that.

I've already got the events of the rest of the story pretty well planned out, but thanks for the suggestions.