Though I'm sad to see the adventures end, the final chapter was fantastic.
Thank you!
First off, Lisa doing self-surgery is a bit scary. I really liked how he appreciated Lisa's well-defined young body, whether it was from the injection or just nice to notice in general. It was fun as Lincoln kept having to figure out what Lisa's technical language, though it was really funny how quickly he caught onto "doggy style." After that, their "dirty talk" was terrific, especially as her pretentious vocabulary started to crack; when she told him she was losing her ability to form sentences and even words and he took it as a challenge, that was even better. In the end, I think both of them were quite pleased with the result.
It was quite a challenge to write that dialogue. Wikipedia and Thesaurus.com got a lot of use.
I was getting a little worried for Lincoln when he was still up for more despite his exhaustion and the sisters were ready to go again. It was quite mature of Lori to notice that, even though they would have done it any way at all, he'd gone out of his way to consider each of their personalities and likes instead of just taking advantage of them.
Lori definitely has her moments on the show, so I thought it reasonable for her to have one here.
The reverse-gangbang scene played out beautifully, though I had to wonder where Lola had read about blowjobs. (Highlights for Sluts?)
Lola is not a slut! She’s a slut-in-training.
When she told Lana to take over and the elder twin shouted, "Gross!" I knew that meant she's be all over it. (And she was.) It was kind of sweet that all nine of them were just as exhausted by the end as Lincoln.
They had a long day.
Then, I don't know why, but I had been absolutely convinced that Lisa had mentioned birth control when she gave out the cherry chews, but nope: this was even funnier. Of course she could take care of the problem, but like the whole thing only after her oversight had created the problem in the first place. (Sorry all preggo fans.)
Lisa’s “Frankenstein syndrome” appears again: She’s a genius, but she has a chronic problem with thinking things through.
Finally, the show-style ending with Lincoln's "moral" was nice, though when Lori scolded him for his mishandling of his "boy stuff" that was the perfect little shot that made it perfect for the series.
The “moral” seems so standard for the show that I felt like it wouldn’t really be a Loud House story without one. And the “boy stuff” ending just seemed fitting; I’d had that in mind since I started writing the story.
Thanks again for such a fantastic story, and I'm honored to have been the proofreader (so I could read it sooner!).
Thanks again for your proofreading, and your marvelous comments!