[help finding Sess/Kag story]

The link to the story is here.

[Sandcastles and Fireworks]

Sand held on to Satoshi as they watched their past unfold, the samurai and the monk falling in love as perfectly and as easily as if there could have been no other destiny for them. When Satoshi returned to his lord, and Masato found a place at court, it seemed as though they were to be rewarded for their devotion to each other, despite Satoshi's marriage. Masato made every effort to ensure that he did not demand too much of Satoshi's time, but it was not enough.

Satoshi's wife was bitter, unable to share even the least of his attention with the quiet monk, and she plotted her revenge in silence. Sand gasped and held Satoshi tightly when the samurai clenched his stomach in pain, and when the vengeful woman slit the monk's throat, Satoshi keened in grief, his tears spilling down his cheeks as Sand comforted him.

It came as no surprise to Sand that the samurai managed to cling to life, fighting off the effects of the poison long enough to see justice done as his wife was brought before the lord for judgment. There was something that nagged at the back of Sand's mind about the tomb that the samurai had built for his lover, the monk's ashes treated with the love and reverence with which the two men had always shown each other. Satoshi sobbed as he watched the samurai pray daily at the tomb, the samurai's tears falling as freely as his own.

Sand was stunned by the virulence of the witch's curse, his very blood turning to ice as he felt the malignant power within her, and Satoshi moaned, turning to bury his face in Sand's shoulder for a moment. They had just walked back to this point through the evidence of the effectiveness of her curse, and even Sand, as powerful as he was, was briefly appalled at a hate so strong that it had lasted for well over a thousand years. The samurai gathered the last of his formidable strength, and carried out the sentence when the executioner quailed before the witch, drowning her as the lord had decreed. The samurai then went to the tomb of his beloved monk, and fell across it, his eyes filled with tears as he let go of life and followed his beloved into death.

It was Sand's turn to sob, then, for the courage and beauty of that samurai, that first Satoshi, who had all the purity of soul of the slender man in his arms. Satoshi sobbed with him, and they clung to each other as they watched the other samurai approach and reverently gather the dead Satoshi, honorable to his last breath, the lord himself damp-eyed as he watched.

"Saiai," Sand mourned, cradling his slender husband. "This is the source of it all, the darkness that plagues you and reaches out to ensnare you."

Satoshi raised his head from Sand's shoulder, his slender body shaking with his sobs, and he nodded slowly. "Yes, poldoramin. This is where it all started. Her curse is what has affected me through all my lifetimes. I think she must have grown stronger over the centuries, and that is why she managed to reach out to me so strongly now."

"We know now what we face. Let us go home, and get you well so that we may deal with this properly." Sand looked into Satoshi's gorgeous eyes, his own blue eyes wet with his tears. "We will put an end to her, and her evil."

Sand began to stand, and the memory shifted until they were back in the small park, standing on the pier by the pond once again.

"What mischief is this?" Sand asked aloud, and his telkiira began to glow softly beneath his skin. "It is time to go home. We will not tarry here."

Satoshi rose on unsteady feet, starting to agree with the elf, but then Sand's telkiira started to glow beneath his skin, and Satoshi felt something stir in his chest, a feeling he had gotten a few times before in his life, and he reached out to grab Sand's hand tightly.

"This isn't over, my love. She's here," Satoshi whispered, and in the blink of an eye his attire changed to his training hakama and kimono, his katana tucked into the obi, and his eyes grew hard as he steeled himself against what he felt was coming.

Sand nodded grimly, his own attire shifting to his hakama and kimono, and the gorgeous katana Satoshi had given him was in his obi. Sand's telkiira appeared, throwing off its rainbow of colors before settling into a warm radiance, and Sand's hair shifted slightly in a breeze that only he felt. He lifted his head a little and smiled, the wind caressing his cheek with a promise of aid.

"Then let her face us, and we will end her evil. It is long overdue, and she owes us both a great debt." Sand's eyes were narrowed as he felt the evil strengthen around them.

Satoshi nodded sharply and reached out his hand for Sand's hand, silently asking for the strength that he drew from his husband. Sand obliged, filling their bond with love and strength, letting the power he could pull from the very air around them augment his own will.

Satoshi turned around to face the pond, and the black water rippled as the head of a woman breached the surface, waves of pure evil radiating out from her, her eyes burning with her hatred of the two lovers.

"So, finally you show yourself, malignant shade," Sand challenged. "In all this time, have you not learned the Path? You cling to that which can only twist and deform you, and you have grown small and bitter with your hatred." He spoke with the assurance of his former life as a monk, yet his hand rested on the hilt of his katana as he held Satoshi tightly with his free hand.

Satoshi eased his hand from Sand's grip, resting his hand on the hilt of his katana, and his voice was strong and focused, his confidence flowing through his bond with Sand, utterly open and uninterrupted. "Show yourself, witch. Take your punishment with some dignity," Satoshi said, his thumb slowly pushing on the hiltguard of his katana, to ease it loose from the scabbard.

The witch rose out of the water slowly, her long black hair hanging down like thick curtains, framing her pale face, her slanted eyes burning with centuries old hatred, her white kimono floating around her body eerily. Her lips parted in a manic smile and her voice sounded like a funeral bell, hollow and dire. Her eyes landed on Sand and she cackled a little when she spoke. "Shut your mouth, monk. My war is not with you. You died without a fight, too taken by my husband to notice that you were also poisoned, and you let a woman end your life. You were a shame to the name of the samurai."

Sand chuckled mirthlessly. "Then you are even more of a fool than I thought, to think I would have not accorded the rank of samurai to you simply because you were a woman. I always viewed you as an equal, and the shame is yours for resorting to a woman's weapon instead of the knife you used so well." His katana was also loose in the scabbard, and his blue eyes were bright as that private breeze stirred his hair. "You made this war my concern when you took that which I loved from me, and dishonored both our families."

The witch hissed at Sand, and Satoshi stepped forward. "Then what is your war with me? You were not the only woman to have her husband seek love in the arms of others. As I remember it you found love with another as well, and I never slighted you for that."

The witch stepped up on the pier, and raised her head a little, squaring Satoshi with a glare, her voice dripping with hatred. "You sought love in the arms of a man. You were a grown man, a samurai. It was a disgrace, a dishonor on both our families. And you betrayed our wedding contract."

"We were discreet, taking care that none would know of our love. The lord, your uncle, did not seek to punish us for our love. What right did you have to usurp the justice only your lord could administer?" Sand's voice was sharp, his eyes still narrowed. "Satoshi no more betrayed your wedding contract than you did, witch."

Satoshi nodded his head in agreement. "You were the one who betrayed our wedding contract first, yet I never said a word, even when you did not hide your infidelity. I never demanded any sort of justice from your uncle for that. I served him with dedication, even after I returned from the mountains, I still served him, and was discreet about my love for Masato."

The witch screamed in anger and launched forward, her voice rising to a painful screech. "You betrayed me, you onnagirai! You shamed our sons and our daughter. You shamed our family name."

Satoshi pulled his sword out of the scabbard, and shouted back, "I did not shame my family name. The only shameful blemish on my family was you, you hag."

Sand nodded agreement, his voice still razor sharp. "You left your children without parents, and you heaped the shame of witchcraft on your lord and uncle's name. You tarnished his honor, and for what? Because in all your seeking, you could not find one tenth of the love we had between us?"

The witch screamed again, her voice turning hysterical. "I did not tarnish my uncle's honor. He was ten times the man that you were!" She launched herself at them, pulling a long wicked dagger from a hidden sheath under her obi, aiming for Sand's throat.

Sand moved almost languidly, his slim bare feet finding their way unerringly on the wood of the pier as he stepped to one side and drew his katana in a single smooth motion. Satoshi moved with Sand, stepping in the opposite direction, his katana flashing as he raised it, the witch flanked by them.

The witch spun, as fast as a cat, spitting and snarling as she slashed, but the throat she sought was not there. Instead, her blade rang harmlessly as it struck the flawless katana that Satoshi had given to Sand, the elf twisting the katana to deflect her blow away.

Satoshi deflected a blow from the witch, as she spun again, attacking him with the same ferocity, another dagger flashing in the dim light as she drew it from another hidden sheath.

Satoshi raised his sword in an attack stance, his bond to Sand throbbing with his faith and love in the elf, as well as his confidence that he and Sand would be able to defeat this witch together.

"Showing your claws, hellcat?" Sand asked, and his voice dripped with derision. "I was teaching my lord's children how to fight when you were still in swaddling clothes, child." This part of the battle was all show, Sand knew. She was seeking to bait them, to get them to lash out rashly, and neither Sand nor Satoshi was fool enough to fall for her tactics. Sand let his own confidence flow through his bond with Satoshi, but he knew this fight was just beginning.

The witch sneered at Sand, cackling manically, her eyes still glowing with her hatred. "Do not overestimate yourself, monk. You had not touched a sword for decades when I killed you, you filth," she hissed, and then she drew herself up to her full height, and started chanting a spell, the air around her darkening and filling with a terrible malice.

Sand moved with terrible grace, his katana inscribing an intricate pattern in the air that glowed slightly, disrupting her chanting. "You underestimate me, witch. I might not have touched a sword in decades back then, but even so, I had forgotten none of the arts of the blade that were drilled into me. And you underestimate me still. By your own actions, by your own curse, my soul traveled a path that has led me to places you cannot even hope to know."

The witch fell back a step when Sand disrupted her chanting, her eyes widening a little with shock, and she dove at them wildly again, slashing at Satoshi this time. Satoshi twisted out of the way, deflecting the strike easily, blocking the other dagger as the witch tried to strike him backhanded.

Sand admired the fluid grace of his slender husband, Satoshi's katana an extension of him that never failed to make Sand suck in a quick breath at the sheer mastery of his technique. The long forgotten voice of the monk Masato reminded Sand that bushido required him to stay his hand and not attack from the rear like a shameful ronin, and so Sand merely watched closely, ready to intervene only if he absolutely needed to act.

The witch attacked Satoshi with a fury fueled by centuries of hate, but Satoshi blocked each attack with a perfect ease, using each opening he could find to press his advantage, but the witch started to chant another spell, the air around them darkening.

"No," Sand said, and his voice resonated with power, his eyes glowing like sapphires. "I will not let you use your fell magic against him. You cursed him once, and now it is me you must face, if you dare. Turn around, and see where your curse has led me, witch. I am no longer a monk." The very air around Sand crackled with power, and the telkiira simply absorbed the darkness of the witch's spell without dimming in the slightest.

The witch spun around and fear flashed across her face for a moment, but then she growled and hissed at Sand as she launched another rapid attack at him. "You are not the only one who has learned new tricks over the centuries, monk."

Satoshi stepped aside, his sword raised but in a passive stance, and he watched his lover fight the witch, his soul remembering all that he had learned through the ages.

Sand parried the witch's blade with careless ease, and her second blade was blocked by a sword carved from pure blackness, that sent a chill back up her arm. "Tricks? You will need more than tricks, witch. I know you can sense the font of power that surrounds us. Have you learned to sip from its cool waters? Or do you prefer the brackish taste of its shadow?" The black sword held position, the chill emanating from it held at bay by Sand's will.

Satoshi sucked in a quick breath when he saw the black blade in Sand's hand, but he remained still, watching Sand battle with the witch.

The witch glared at Sand, her hatred for the former monk as cold as the black blade in Sand's hand. "My magic is strong, monk. Your tricks are showmanship, nothing more." She hissed, and the air around her darkened again, as she pressed her attack on Sand again, and the pier under their feet shuddered, then began to crumble into the pond.

Satoshi suddenly lost his footing and slid off the wooden pier, and into the black water. The witch laughed as she spun away from Sand and jumped into the water as well, her daggers aimed at Satoshi's exposed back.

Sand gestured, and a shining orb surrounded Satoshi, lifting him from the black water and deflecting the witch's blades. At the same time, Sand dismissed the black blade and a globe of energy formed in his hand, glowing like a miniature sun. "What do you look like in the light, little witch, with all your shadows gone?"

Sand lofted the orb, and crackling energy arced out to lash the witch with bright tendrils. "I have slain one who had those shadows running through his veins like blood. I have walked on the bones of a dead god. What do you think you can do that I cannot turn against you, little witch? If need be, I will rip every vestige of what little power you command from your very bones, and scour them with the energy that lives at the heart of the sun."

Sand guided the orb that held Satoshi to the grass, his eyes never leaving the witch. "I turned down godhood for the love of this man."

The witch screamed when the bright energy lashed her, and Satoshi floated out of her reach, but then she turned around to face Sand once again, her voice still that screeching hysterical tone, but her face finally revealing her for what she was.

Her hair blew back from her white face, dark circles under her eyes only accentuating the yellow glow deep within them, and her white kimono was stained with blood. Her fingernails grew into black claws, and her teeth became wicked points, and one of her daggers grew longer, a wicked gleaming blade, while in her other hand a black orb of energy appeared in place of the other dagger.

She floated out of the water, landing on the grass, closer to Satoshi than Sand, and the black orb hurtled through the air at lightning speed, exploding just before it reached Satoshi, and he was thrown back with a shout of pain, his kimono ripping in the front as if he had been lashed by a hundred slender whips.

Sand roared with fury, and power rippled out from him like a great wind, his eyes blazing as the telkiira around his neck flared to life. A powerful shield formed around Satoshi, and Sand stalked forward, his bare feet making no sound on the grass. "You are free to attack, saiai, as you will. The shield does not impede you, but her evil may not pass. It is a protection from evil that I brought back from the heart of the Weave, and not even the gods may dispel it."

Sand lifted his blade, and it was no longer the peerless katana, having transformed into Sand's songsword. The breeze that had played with Sand earlier returned in earnest, dancing through the blade and summoning a melody of delicate purity that grated on the ears of the witch. Sand began to move in the intricate steps of a bladedance, his feet sure and the air around him glowing with a web of arcane symbols as the melody lifted and soared around him.

"You threaten the lives of those I love, and I will not abide this. For my husband," Sand said, and a lash of energy spun out to wrap around the witch like a noose. "For our son." Another lash wrapped around her. "We will not be held here by you!"

Sand gestured, and the scene dissolved around them as they returned to the pond where the witch was drowned. "Here is where it all began, and here is where we will end you, witch."

Satoshi jumped to his feet only moments after he got hit by the magic missile of the witch, then he stood and watched the scene unfold before him, a chill running down his back as he sensed the rage that pulsed out of the witch as Sand bound her. The witch tried to fight off the nooses that Sand used to bind her, but even her magic failed her, and she screamed in fury as Sand moved them to the pond where she had been executed.

"Saiai. Release this spell. I must face her with my own power in order to break this curse," Satoshi said to Sand, his face set with a look of determination. He looked at the elf quickly, his bond flowing with love, and he smiled softly, nodding. "Trust me, Masato. I can do this."

"I trust you, Satoshi, my love." Sand released the spell that bound the witch, and dismissed the shield that had guarded Satoshi. The air around Sand continued to move, energy making bright sparks along his raven hair. "My strength is yours, saiai."

The witch fell back when Sand released her, and she backed away from them until her bare feet entered the water of the pond, and both Sand and Satoshi could sense the strength of her magic triple. She smiled wickedly and raised her arms as she chanted another spell, three small black orbs of energy racing towards Sand and Satoshi suddenly.

Satoshi nodded at the elf, and closed his eyes as he raised his sword in front of himself, drawing a deep breath, centering himself and reaching his zen state in only a moment. Sand could see all of Satoshi's former lives merging with the slender man, augmenting his strength to his full power, and when Satoshi opened his eyes again, they were nearly black, filled with energy and confidence.

Sand watched, his own eyes still glowing that vibrant sapphire blue, but he watched Satoshi with love and pride as Satoshi drew on his many lifetimes of training and experience. Sand also knew that Satoshi was armed with the one weapon that the witch could neither match nor defeat. Satoshi knew what it meant to love. Sand let his own love for Satoshi and for their children, their other spouses, and their friends radiate outward in a cleansing wave.

Satoshi answered Sand's wave of love with equal love, and blocked the black orb easily, dodging the other one. The witch threw her arms forward, a stream of energy rushing out from her, and long barbed lashes of dark light slashed at the two lovers, Satoshi blocking a few of them, but another two slashed against his arm, tearing at his kimono and leaving behind bleeding gashes in his pale skin.

The witch's attacks aimed at Sand were absorbed into the telkiira that shone against Sand's pale skin, the elf refraining from taking any actions against the witch directly. Instead, he focused closely on Satoshi, the melody from his songsword changing slightly to one that slowed the bleeding from Satoshi's wounds, and neutralized any poisons that might have been transferred by the witch. It was all Sand could allow himself to do, unless Satoshi gave him leave to act.

"You were a proud woman of the samurai once. But you lost your mind to your black magic and hatred. You want me dead, so come on, woman. Wife. Fight me hand to hand, instead of hiding behind your tricks," Satoshi said calmly, his eyes blazing, and he held his sword to his side, as if it were still in its sheath, and bowed to the witch in a show of respect for his opponent.

"Reign in your dog then, and I'll fight you on your grounds, you filth," the witch hissed back, her two daggers appearing again in her hands, and Satoshi nodded.

"Masato, my love, fall back and wait for my call. If she tries to backstab me and use her magic, you can interfere. Please do this for me," Satoshi said quietly, and smiled quickly at Sand, without taking his eyes off the witch. The woman came out of the water, her kimono shrinking and transforming into a hakama.

Sand bowed deeply, and pulled back his power, the telkiira dimming to a soft radiance. "I will do so, my love." The songsword became his katana again, and Sand held it as Satoshi did, unsheathed, but at his side.

The witch bowed in response to Satoshi's bow, and then raised her long daggers in an attack stance, Satoshi taking a defensive stance, and then he nodded at the witch with a calm smile. She attacked with far more ferocity than before, but Satoshi answered her blow for blow, deflecting her vicious blows easily, and pressing his own attack whenever he saw an opening.

The two danced around each other with equal grace, the woman's white kimono and hakama, and her raven hair swirling around her in hypnotizing waves. Satoshi's deep black hakama and kimono and his cherry red hair seemed to shine eerily in the dim light of the night, but around him there was an air of kindness and love, and gentle peace, radiating in waves that clashed with the evil that poured out of the witch. They slashed at each other with wicked strokes, landing a blow here and there, but never enough to cause serious injury, although they drew blood.

Sand watched closely, prepared to intervene immediately if the witch tried anything magical or underhanded, but for the moment she was abiding by Satoshi's rules. Sand found himself utterly in awe of Satoshi's skill, the slender man's mastery of his blade and his ability to be exactly where he needed to be at every turn the mark of a true master. Still, the elf did not let down his guard, and the gentle breeze that wafted around him was equally alert.

Satoshi and the witch continued fighting in that graceful dance, their blades flickering in the moonlight, and they both seemed to only see each other. The witch faked a move, and nearly managed to slide her dagger into Satoshi's arm, but he dodged the strike just in time, bringing his katana up in a graceful arch, slicing the witch across the chest and shoulder, the cut deep enough for her to fall back and scream in pain as she fell to her knee.

The woman clutched her chest with a whimper, one of her daggers laying on the ground beside her, the other dagger grasped tightly in her other hand. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as if she was struggling to catch her breath, and Satoshi's chest moved a little, as he calmed his breathing again.

Suddenly the witch lifted her head and threw a spell at Satoshi, small spears of energy rushing towards him, and Satoshi instinctively raised his sword to block the attack even though he knew it was useless against magic.

The breeze that had been playing with Sand's hair became a gale instantly, driving the spears of energy away from Satoshi and turning them away to fall into the pond. At the same instant, Sand moved with preternatural speed that Satoshi realized was not at all magically augmented, the flat of his katana slapping the witch sharply and disrupting her from further casting.

"Say the word, saiai, and I will take her head," Sand growled, his blade utterly still and ready to make good on his words.

"No, saiai. I must be the one to kill her to break this curse. But you can fight her beside me now. I do not think she will be fighting with honor from now," Satoshi said, moving up to stand beside Sand, and glancing quickly up at Sand, he asked with a slight tone of curiosity, "You can control wind?"

The witch remained on one knee while she caught her breath, her hand still tight around her dagger, and she bowed her head in what seemed like surrender.

"It is something I learned from Tae," Sand replied. "I thought it fitting, since she sent me off to find you when she could no longer stay here. There are times I almost think I feel her touch." Sand's blade remained poised, his eyes on the witch. "I am at your side, saiai. Let us end this, and cleanse this evil at last."

Satoshi nodded his head and wiped his sword on a cloth that he pulled from under his obi.

The witch suddenly launched herself upwards, her dagger aimed at Sand's ribcage, under his sword arm. Satoshi cried out, and his sword came down in a quick arc, striking her on the shoulder, slicing into her neck and into her chest.

Sand looked at the wound carved along his rib and he slapped the witch's arm with the flat of his katana hard enough to break the bones, her dagger falling to the ground. He refrained from going for a killing blow, knowing that Satoshi was correct, and he had to be the one to end the witch's life.

The witch screamed when Satoshi's blade sliced into her body, and almost in the same instant Sand's blade broke her arm. Satoshi stepped forward as he dislodged his sword from the witch's neck and his voice was filled with peace as he raised his sword again. "I break your curse, and damn your soul to eternal suffering in repayment for your crimes and sins. May your soul find peace when that debt has been paid."

The witch lifted her head, blood flowing from the wound in her neck, and from her mouth when she tried to spout out another spell, but she barely managed the first word, before Satoshi's blade came down in a beautiful arc and severed her head from her body.

Sand watched as the witch's head fell to the ground, her body falling the other way, and he nodded with grim satisfaction. "Is she truly dead, saiai?"

Satoshi wiped his sword again, carefully removing every trace of her blood from the gleaming steel.

"I think so, saiai. I think we have won," Satoshi said quietly, and walked towards the pond, watching as the water seemed to clear.

Sand nodded, and murmured a few words, both of them feeling slightly stronger when he was done. "A temporary measure, I fear. But it should suffice to let us find our way home. Are you ready, my love? It may be harder for you when you wake, for a time."

Satoshi finished wiping his sword, and walked into the pond slowly, his voice still filled with that peace that he had found when he had killed the witch. "In a moment, saiai. I want to wash this taint off. Join me?" Satoshi asked, and held out his hand to Sand, as he walked into the pond, the water rising slowly to reach his chest.

Sand smiled, and walked into the pond, reaching out to take Satoshi's hand, his eyes filled with love and admiration for his husband. "Where you go, there shall I be," Sand said, and laughed. "That is from a poem, I think, a very old elven poem. But it is the truth, saiai. I love you, and I will be at your side whenever you wish."

Satoshi smiled happily and took Sand's hand, pulling the elf into the pond with him, and wrapping his arms around Sand's neck as they moved too far to reach bottom. "And where you go, there shall I be, Masato. For four lifetimes I lived without you, and each time I came to a tragic end, because I got distracted by a memory of these beautiful pale eyes of yours. I love you, I always have, and I will for eternity."

Satoshi pressed a kiss to Sand's lips and moaned softly before he let go of the elf and dunked himself under the surface, then rising out of the water again, and the last of his darkness was washed away, his heart filled with peace and love, and the knowledge that he had won this battle for his own life.

When Satoshi reemerged, Sand held him tightly for a moment, his lips seeking Satoshi's lips in a kiss, and then he looked up at the emerald green ribbon that seemed to float past them. Sand chuckled and looked at Satoshi, his blue eyes bright. "I do believe that is our ride home." He cradled Satoshi's face between his slim hands, stealing another tender kiss. "You were magnificent, my love, utterly perfect."

Satoshi answered the kiss with passion, and then laughed brightly. "You were utterly magnificent as well, my love. There is one last thing that we must do before we leave."

Satoshi swam to the shore of the pond where the body of the witch still lay, and knelt on the ground, his head bowed in prayer. Before him a funeral pyre materialized and Satoshi grabbed the witch's head and tossed it onto the pyre, then he grabbed her body and started to drag it to the pyre as well. "We need to burn her remains to purge our lives and the estate of her evil."

Sand nodded, and helped Satoshi to place the body on the pyre. Sand chanted the prayers as he remembered them from his life as a monk, and then he held out one hand to Satoshi. Taking Satoshi's hand, he raised their joined hands and called down a pure blue flame, igniting the pyre and burning the witch's remains in its cleansing embrace.

Sand continued to pray quietly, Satoshi's voice weaving seamlessly with his, until the pyre was nothing more than ashes, not a single piece of bone remaining to be picked. The gentle breeze that had wound around them both as they prayed dipped and blew the ashes almost tenderly, scattering them until there was nothing left, not even a scorched mark on the ground.

Satoshi let out a deep breath, and nodded at Sand, holding his hand tightly, his eyes scanning the grounds where they stood, and he smiled gently as he asked, "Do you recognize this place?"

Sand frowned slightly, and then he looked surprised. "I think I do. Is this the Ishikawa estate?"

Satoshi smiled with a small giggle, and nodded his head as he started following the emerald ribbon that wafted above them. "Yes it is, my love. We will need to ask Kenji how far back he can trace the history of the estate, because it looks like it belonged to the Mori clan, and then passed on to the Ishikawa clan."

"I still cannot believe that I was an Ishikawa myself," Sand laughed. ""I think Kenji would be quite surprised to find out we might be related."

The emerald ribbon seemed to tug at them, and they followed it, spiraling upward, their fingers laced tightly together.

In the hospital room, Yuji watched as Sand suddenly shifted, his first independent movement in four days, and then sat up slowly. As he did, Satoshi's brow wrinkled gently, a small frown crossing his face, and Yuji nearly killed himself trying to get out of the chair to call a nurse into the room, tears of joy streaming down his face.

[Weird news of the day]

Okay, that is actually creepy...

[The Great Sue Hunt]

BW looked up, startled, as Cal announced that he thought he had crushed the Delorean. "Oh, fuck!" She dashed into the galley, seeing the same reflection that Apollo did, her eyes wide. "Talk about an entrance. Okay, not a problem. We can pull this off. Glamor, honey, and we go out Hollywood. We have just become an unannounced publicity stunt."

Apollo looked at BW for a moment, and then began to grin. "That could work, and if anyone can pull off Hollywood, it's us."

"Cal, can you come up with a fairly low tech but dramatic way to get us down to the ground?" BW asked. "We want something feasible for this universe and time."

BW could almost hear the grin in Cal's voice. "Nothing easier."

"That's what you said about my bodies," Kelk quipped.

"Whenever you're ready, I've got a platform I can lower. Suitably low tech and still dramatic." Cal still sounded amused, and BW grinned.

When BW emerged from Cal, she was wearing a sleek bodysuit that looked like it was made of thin red scales, slightly iridescent in the artificial light of the hotel. Sleek high-heeled boots in red leather made her look taller, and her white hair tumbled loose over her shoulders. A thin gold mesh belt hung just above her hips, holding up a sheer red skirt that was slit to the hip on both sides. It was exotic but not unreasonably inappropriate, and the small bag of holding on her belt, also in red to compliment her outfit, kept her weapons close at hand, just in case.

Apollo was in full Goddess mode, in an almost sheer peplos in gold and white and gold high-heeled sandals, her glorious auburn hair tumbling down her back, imperious and devastating. Her skin was perfectly tanned, golden and glowing, and she flashed BW a mischievous grin. Foe and Kelk, dressed in Stormtrooper armor and kilts, served as escorts for the two women as the platform lowered to the ground.

When they were about halfway down, Apollo raised one arm and called out, her voice perfectly pitched and modulated to carry, "So where the hell's the 501^st Division? Those boys late again?"

The crowd went wild as they cheered, assuming this was some incredibly fabulous publicity stunt staged to make this a Dragon*Con to remember. There were cameras flashing, and video cameras, and the Atlanta police had a job keeping the eager parade goers from pressing too close to the platform as it lowered. Apollo and BW waved happily, with Foe and Kelk on either side of them as Cal managed to use the distraction to absorb the raw materials of the hapless Delorean.

"Waste not, want not," Cal muttered to himself, a philosophy that had proved sound. On the bright side, the most dangerous things being aimed at him at the moment were flashes, and that was a welcome change, considering most of their recent arrivals on this Hunt. Of course, being seven stories tall had its advantages as well, and unbeknownst to the Atlanta police, Cal's weaponry was fully functional.

The Atlanta police might have been disgruntled, but they were, for the most part, used to strangeness when Dragon*Con was in full swing, and they took the AT-AT in stride, even going so far as to clear a path for Apollo and BW, and their kilted Stormtroopers to sweep into the Hilton. Apollo stopped and posed for a few pictures with Foe and Kelk, and then urged BW to do the same. BW moaned a little, but let Foe and Kelk drag her off for a few pictures, while Apollo signed autographs for a few of the less savvy parade goers.

"Well, here we are," Apollo muttered under her breath to BW as they walked into the lobby of the Hilton. The sheer number of costumed people, badges displayed proudly, was breathtaking, and the ingenuity and creativity of most of the costumes made BW grin in delight. She knew that they still needed to be on their guard, and that there were Sues scattered throughout the crowd, but for a few moments, BW let herself just relax and enjoy blending in. Of course, that entrance of theirs was bound to make a few Sues a bit jealous.

"Keep your eyes open," Apollo murmured. "It's damned hard to tell the Sues from the civilians at this Con." She looked briefly grim. "I have a feeling they might come looking for us, though."

BW nodded, keeping a smile on her face as she looked around, tucking an arm through Kelk's arm. She looked up and arched a brow. Well, at least she thought it was Kelk. "In that case, I want a glass of wine. Let's go find a bar, and then we can check out a few panels. We might do well at the author panels, you think?"

[My Story is Gone?]

I located the story and it should be visible again. In the event that this happens again, please remember to tell us the name of the story and the subdomain it's published under. It makes this much faster to process. Thanks!

[Waiting to see if the world is going to end]

Eternal "almost-there"? Nah... Besides, at the age I plan on being when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil, being almost there could be the achievement!

[Seeking reference materials for xeno original fic]

Strictly from a traumatic point of view, there'd be massive evidence of that sort of damage, and yes, while the uterus is designed to stretch to accommodate a growing fetus, that's a gradual process aided by hormones. The invasion of a tentacle pushing through the cervix would cause the uterus to rupture, which would result in internal bleeding. Externally, there would most likely be swelling, bruising, and eventually skin tearing if the intrusion of the tentacles continued and the abdominal muscles ruptured.

A probable research direction would be to look at the sorts of war crime violence perpetrated against women. That would be if you're looking for realistic depictions of what would happen. For a more tentacle related direction, this article does contain some interesting links... http://www.cracked.com/article_18472_6-depraved-sexual-fetishes-that-are-older-than-you-think.html

[Waiting to see if the world is going to end]

I think I'd like to die laughing as well, or at the very least in the middle of something from my bucket list. (And yes, I have a bucket list.)

Humor is what keeps me going, and always has. I like to laugh, and I think it's left me with much nicer wrinkles than frowning ever would. As far as dying in the bosom of my family, I plan on outliving most of them anyway. In all seriousness, I have no particular desire to die anytime soon. I have way too much left to do. But when I go, I want it to be either in the midst of my friends who make me laugh, or in some spectacularly insane way, like hang gliding off Ayers Rock, or seeing exactly how fast a Lamborghini can go.

Until then, I plan on espousing my usual philosophy of living life with a wanton disregard for personal safety. It's worked so far!

[LOTR - Per TOSMail report, in wrong category]

Per a TOSMail report, this story is in the wrong category within LOTR. It is under LOTR Movies > Slash - Male/Male when it should be in LOTR Movies > Het - Male/Female. Noting it here for when you reach this archive.

Gifts of the Valar

Reporter notified that this will be addressed when this archive is cleaned up.

[List of pairings]

Were you thinking of this list?

[Seeking reference materials for xeno original fic]

Hmm. This is a pretty broad request, since xenophilia can be defined as anything from an interest in other cultures and/or races to an interest in other species entirely.

It would help if you could narrow the parameters just a bit. Is the story science fiction, or fantasy based? If science fiction, are you contemplating extraterrestrials or simply scientific experimentation? All of these could (and have) been adapted to include tentacle porn, so that part of your request sort of goes without saying.

[Funny Typos]

Heh. They're never quiet at 16... I had 3 of 'em over today and my ears still hurt...

[Category request: Game of Thrones]

There is a category under books for this fandom:

A Song of Ice and Fire

[Sandcastles and Fireworks]

"How very curious," Sand murmured. "This one particular day, over and over, is it?"

Sand knew enough from Satoshi and from Yuji and Satoru to know how damaging Shizuko had been, how she had rejected her son over and over until it was all he expected, Satoru kept at bay by her web of deceit. Although this young version of Satoshi was already wary of his mother, he did not seem to have been totally beaten down and demoralized yet. Certainly, he retained enough spirit to go off for tea and sweets with an older foreigner who had seemed harmless.

Sand bit back a wry chuckle. Whether or not he was truly harmless was always a matter of conjecture, but even in this dream where Satoshi had fled, he knew not to fear Sand, and that was something, at least, a small victory of sorts. Taking heart from that, Sand adjusted his appearance to alter his clothing, this time settling on a neat black suit and a very pale blue shirt, a deep indigo tie loosened a bit to allow the top button of Sand's collar to be left open. His hair was neatly tied back, and he slipped off his polished black leather shoes and silk socks to cross the soft grass to the pier.

"Hello, Mori-kun," Sand said, bowing politely. "I am glad to see you again."

Little Satoshi looked up from his book, squinting a little bit against the sun, but then he smiled brightly and closed his book hurriedly. "Mori-sensei. How nice to see you here," he said with a respectful bow, his tone one of a child greeting a teacher.

"Oh, come now," Sand said, sitting down and rolling his pants a bit to dangle his feet. "I am just Mori-san today. I brought you something I thought you might enjoy." He handed Satoshi a book, a Japanese edition of The Little Prince.

Satoshi received the book with both hands and bowed deeply, a great tone of awe and gratitude in his voice, "Oh, wow, The Little Prince. My au-pair from France read it to me once in French. Or at least so my father told me. I never thought to ask father if they had translated it to Japanese. Thank you so much, Mori-san."

The little boy flipped reverently through the book, his eyes sparkling with excitement, his small hands gently caressing the spine and pages as he scanned the text.

Sand smiled in delight. "You had mentioned Paris yesterday, and I thought of this. I am glad you like it." His smile made his blue eyes light up with youthful enthusiasm. "It is a small thing, to be sure, but you have been kind enough to befriend a visitor to your neighborhood."

Satoshi blushed a little bit and lay the new book down on top of the book he was already reading, then he smiled up at Sand, "I'll try to read it quickly so I can give it back to you. Thank you so much for lending it to me."

Satoshi bowed again, and then peered over the edge of the pier, splashing his feet in the water, the koi fish swimming around them both, and nibbling at toes. "I don't have a lot of friends, really, so it's always fun to meet new people to talk to. Hardly any of the kids in kindergarten like to play with me, and I usually end up spending most of my time with my nannies." Satoshi's voice was a little sad, but he gave a small shrug of his shoulders, as if he had accepted this as just the way the world worked.

Sand looked puzzled. "I cannot imagine why the other children do not like you. Perhaps they simply have not taken the time to get to know you." He gave a similar small shrug. "I think you are quite intelligent and most interesting to talk to, which I do not say often, even to adults. I am sorry, though, that you must spend your time with nannies so often. Do you not have a chance to do things with your parents?"

Sand's heart ached a bit at the way, even this young, Satoshi seemed to think that he was owed so little in life. Shizuko had a great deal to answer for, dead though she might be, and Sand filed that away next to Satoru's small lapse into bitterness.

Satoshi shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, and leaned back on his arms, looking around the park while he spoke. "My lungs are sort of weak, so I often have to stay inside when we have recess at kindergarten, so I don't have a lot of chances to play with the other kids. And they think I'm weird because I know how to read, and I'm always asking our teachers about all sorts of stuff."

Satoshi stroked invisible wrinkles from his shorts, and his voice took on a slightly wistful tone, the little boy carefully hiding his face from Sand's view. "My parents are very busy. My father takes me out for a drive in his car sometimes, and sometimes he takes me to this little cake shop that he likes. But my mother is always very busy. I'm not a very good son, you see."

Sand bit back a scathing remark, managing to keep his tone polite and mild. "I am sure that I presume much in saying this, but I simply cannot believe that you are anything but a perfect son. You are thoughtful, polite, well-mannered, intelligent and diligent. Those are hardly the habits of a street thug or a bully." Sand sighed a little. "It is difficult to accept that adults, who should know better, are often so poorly behaved."

Sand waved a slim hand, the faint scars showing briefly in the afternoon sun. "Never mind. Let us speak of something else, or I do think my manners might fail as well. You mentioned the catacombs in Paris."

Satoshi looked up at Sand with an angered look when he mentioned adults being poorly behaved, but when he waved the comment off and mentioned the catacombs of Paris, Satoshi's brow unfurrowed, and he looked out over the pond again. "Father brought me picture postcards of the Catacombs when he came back home from France. He also brought pictures of the Eiffel tower, and the Cathedral of Notre Dame. I really like the Catacombs the most."

Satoshi tugged at his shirt collar in an effort to straighten his shirt, his voice a little sad. "I really like small dark places. All places where you can hide are good. This pier isn't very small or dark, but it is my hiding place. I have many hiding places."

"They are a fascinating place, the Catacombs, and vast. It is a city of bones, beneath the city of Paris. One can become lost as easily as one can hide." Sand looked at Satoshi thoughtfully. "Would it be presumptuous to ask why you are hiding here today, on this pleasant pier?"

Satoshi mumbled something under his breath, and then looked up at Sand a little sideways and asked with a little puzzled frown, "What does that word mean, presumbutous?"

Sand blushed a little. "Ah, forgive me. It means to assume something, or in this case, it means that I am afraid I am being rude by asking." He ducked his head a little, looking sheepish. "I forget to stop being a professor sometimes. I am sorry."

Satoshi laughed a little bit, and hid his smile behind his hand. "Oh, no, it's alright. I just like to learn new words. How do you pronounce it? Presumbutous? Presumptious?"

Sand laughed, his face making that transformation to youthfulness again. "It is pronounced, pre-sump-tu-ous."

Satoshi repeated the word a few time, after Sand, until he finally had it correct, and then he repeated it exactly seven times, before he looked back at Sand and answered the question.

"Today is a good day. That's why I'm here. It's a very good day. Before everything turned to shit." A bitter tone entered Satoshi's voice, and for a moment it sounded far older than his six years, his dark eyes filling with bitterness and anger as he glared down at the pond.

"I do not understand," Sand said, his voice puzzled but gentle. He watched Satoshi, his blue eyes dark.

In the blink of an eye little Satoshi was back to the sweet little child, and he smiled innocently at Sand, his voice tittering a little with excitement. "I'm starting school tomorrow, and I'm a little stressed about it. So I decided to come here to relax a little bit. And my mother isn't very happy with me today too, so staying out here until dinner is what I'm going to do."

His voice grew sad again, and he crossed his arms over his chest, wriggling his toes at the koi that swam around Sand's feet.

"Ah, well, starting school is a very exciting thing, but it can be stressful. It is very different from kindergarten, I am sure." Sand could not help but think of Ryuu, facing the very same challenge, and how excited he had been, as loved and supported as he was. "If you are going to stay out until dinner, then perhaps we might have some tea again?"

Satoshi nodded somberly, and then pulled his feet out of the pond shaking them vigorously. "Yes, please. I would love to have some tea again," he said with a happy giggle and then glanced at Sand's suit with a slightly disappointed look, since he could not see where Sand might be hiding his handkerchief this time.

Sand produced more handkerchiefs from an inside pocket with the air of a magician, offering one to Satoshi. They dried their feet and donned their shoes and socks, as they had done the day before. Satoshi giggled happily as he accepted the handkerchief and dried his small feet, then pulled on his socks and shoes, and walked beside Sand out of the park.

Once they were out of sight of Satoshi's home, Satoshi shyly reached out and tucked his hand into Sand's hand, glancing up at the tall stranger through his lashes.

Sand smiled down at Satoshi, his blue eyes warm and open, a strand of long raven hair framing his face as he gently closed his long fingers around the small hand. "Shall we go back to the same tea house? They really do make lovely mochi there."

"Yes, please. I'm not really allowed to go much further without telling my nanny, or the housekeeper. And the lady at the tea house knows me, so I know I'm safe there."

Sand nodded, knowing that the realities of the world meant that children needed to be cautious about strangers, something unthinkable in his homeland. But it was a mark in his favor that Satoshi trusted him this much, and Sand needed to retain that trust. "I think perhaps I will have some of the daifuku mochi today."

Satoshi giggled brightly and climbed up on a low stone wall that ran along the sidewalk, still holding Sand's hand, and his other arm stretched out to his side to keep his balance. "I think I might have some mango mochi. Have you ever tried green tea mochi? That's very good, too."

"Perhaps we can persuade the owner to make us a mixed plate of mochi," Sand said with a wide smile. "That would be nice, with a pot of her excellent tea. I would like to try the green tea mochi as well, I think." Sand held tightly to Satoshi, automatically adjusting his arm as he would have done with Ryuu.

Satoshi agreed with Sand about the mochi and tea, and his bright laughter rang out over the street as he walked along the low stone wall, his small hand grasping his two books tightly, struggling to keep his balance on the slim wall.

Sand's laughter mingled with Satoshi's laughter, and the elf provided strong support for Satoshi as he walked along the slim wall. The late afternoon sun gilded Satoshi's raven hair with reddish light, and his beautiful eyes sparkled with happiness. Sand felt a tightness in his throat, sorrow that Satoshi had to retreat this far back in his life to find a day when he could be this carefree.

"What is your favorite subject in school?" Sand asked, trying to keep things light for a little longer.

Satoshi laughed a little, squeaking when he teetered a little bit, but Sand's strong hand righted him again, and Satoshi answered with a giggle, "I just told you, I'm not in school. I'm starting tomorrow. But I do like to learn reading, and writing. And I also like to learn foreign languages, and music. I really want to learn music."

"Ah, music is a wonderful thing to learn," Sand said. "And you are right, you did tell me that you start school tomorrow. How forgetful I am! But what is your favorite instrument? I can never decide if I like the flute, or the guitar, or the piano."

Satoshi laughed again, and stopped walking, his little hand slipping out of Sand's as he poised himself as if he had a guitar on his front, and the small hand holding his books swung down in a great arch as Satoshi yelled happily, "I want to play guitar like Presley!"

Satoshi's arm swung in a circle as he pretended to strike the strings of a guitar, and he cried out something that was supposed to be the chords of a song, but the sound changed to one of dismay as the two books went flying out of his small hand, and crashed down on the sidewalk by Sand's feet. Satoshi jumped down and cried out in dismay as he saw the pages crumble and crease, and with the blink of an eye the memory shifted.

Suddenly Sand was standing in the driveway of the Mori home, a slightly older Satoshi standing behind a car that Sand did not recognize. Satoshi was sobbing quietly, his school bag in his hand, one of the shoulder straps broken, and his school books spread over the wet asphalt of the driveway.

Satoshi was scrambling to pick up the books and stuff them back into his bag, his eyes filling with tears and his voice keening softly in his throat as he heard the front door open and a woman's voice called out to him.

Sand watched helplessly, unable to make his presence known in this memory, his heart aching for his gentle Satoshi. He longed to be able to intervene, to reassure Satoshi that the books could be replaced, the school bag as well, and to dry those tears that tore his heart.

Satoshi grabbed the last book off the ground, biting back a shout of fear when Shizuko came storming up to him and grabbed him by the arm, spinning him around harshly. She was tall for a woman, but as slender and delicate as a reed, and her face was very beautiful, but that beauty was only skin deep. Her brown eyes were hard and showed no compassion, and her lips were tight, as if she avoided smiling with a great diligence. And her voice was the voice of a woman that was used to getting her way, by any means possible.

Shizuko shook Satoshi a little and hissed at him, careful to not let the neighbors see her abuse her son. "What the hell are you doing, you little shit? How the hell did you ruin your school bag? You have got to be kidding me! You've ruined your school books too!?"

Shizuko dragged Satoshi inside the house, the slender boy stumbling as he tried to follow her, his voice shaking with fear. "I'm sorry, mother, I'm sorry. The other kids were teasing me on the way home. They were pulling on my bag, and I think that's why it broke. It broke when I was walking up the drive way. I'm sorry, mother, I'm sorry."

"You will be, you useless little shit," Shizuko shouted as she slammed the front door closed behind them, the blonde nanny running from the kitchen to her room as she saw the state her employer was in.

Satoshi cried and begged as he took off his shoes and carried his bag in to the house, Shizuko berating him and calling him names as she shoved him on into the house. She turned to the closet that served as a broom closet now, and from a top shelf she brought down a thin rod, and little Satoshi cried out in fear, but he did not run away.

Shizuko grabbed Satoshi and all but flung him against the pole at the bottom of the stair railing and ordered him to pull his pants down. Satoshi sobbed and hiccuped, begging his mother not to do this, that he was sorry, but still he unbuttoned his shorts and pulled them down, with shaking hands. Then he tugged his shirt up a little bit, exposing his ass and thighs, and wrapped his arms around the pole, as his mother whipped him across the ass, hard enough to leave behind a red welt.

The mad woman whipped her eight year old son until there was barely an inch of unmarked skin on his ass and the back of his thighs, all the while she yelled at him, calling him the nastiest names, and berating him for being ungrateful and badly behaved. And the little boy cried quietly, begging his mother to forgive him for being such a failure.

When Shizuko finally stopped she ordered Satoshi to get dressed again and go to his room to do his homework. Satoshi obeyed, and the memory faded and switched again as the little boy disappeared up the stairs, his broken school bag in his arms.

Sand realized his hands were clenched, and the air around him, even in this place between worlds, was charged with arcane energy as he struggled to tamp down his rage at Shizuko. Had she been alive, she never would have survived Sand's wrath when he returned. As it was, Sand intended to ask Vale to Planewalk him to find Shizuko's soul. There were places where a soul could learn the meaning of both pain and eternity, and Sand knew many of them.

When the memory shifted, Sand found himself standing on the small pier again, but this time the little Satoshi was standing at the edge, the day gray and rainy around them, and the little boy was screaming in rage, his small hands fisted so hard that the knuckles shone white through the skin.

Sand immediately shoved his own anger down, and dropped to his knees in front of the small boy. "Please, Mori-kun, Satoshi-kun, tell me what is wrong. Tell me why you are so angry." He held his hands out, not touching Satoshi, but the offer of an embrace was there.

The little boy's scream slowly died out, his voice that of the grown up Satoshi, but when he spoke his voice had returned back to the voice of a broken little boy. "That bitch. She made it all worse. Instead of listening, instead of helping, she blamed me, and called me a liar when I told her what the other kids did. I hate her," Satoshi screamed at Sand, rushing into the elf's embrace and pummeling the elf with his small fists.

Sand pulled Satoshi into his arms, ignoring the last few blows from the small hands, stroking the soft raven hair tenderly. "Hush, Satoshi-kun. It is over. No one will hurt you," Sand said softly, his voice gentle and warm as he smoothed Satoshi's hair with the gesture Satoru used. "I will not let you be hurt. Is this why you are hiding here? Who do you hate so much that you need to hide?"

The little boy tried to hit Sand a few last times, his little fists landing on Sand's shoulders, but the force of the blows was utterly spent. His voice was ragged with tears and he sobbed so hard his small slender body shook in Sand's arms, but he did not try to pull away. "Today was the last good day. The day before it all turned to shit. Before I started school and all the kids started to torture me, too. She used to torture me all the time. Everything I did, everything I said wasn't good enough, or it was all bad, and when I came home from school with bruises, or torn clothes or ruined books she would hit me, and yell at me, and call me a liar when I tried to tell her that the other kids did it. That's why I never told father. Because he would call me a liar, too."

The hot tears spilled down Sand's cheeks, and his voice was slightly ragged with emotion. "Does it help to know that I believe you? Does it help to know that your father believes you now? It was not you that was not good enough. It was never you, never, Satoshi-kun."

"Father saw the marks that night. I had to sit through my homework and through dinner without showing any reactions, while my ass and thighs hurts so badly that I wanted to die. Father saw them when he put me to bed, but he didn't say anything. Just called me his little fighter like he always did, and then the next day I saw the cane in the trash." Satoshi sobbed loudly, and slumped a little into Sand's embrace, his tears hot against Sand's neck, and then he whispered painfully through his sobs, "Does father really believe me now? Why didn't he believe me then?"

"Your father really believes now, I promise you." Sand cradled the small body, his heart aching. "I think he was afraid to believe then, because it would mean he had married a monster. That is a hard thing to face, Satoshi-kun, but it was harder when he did realize it, because then he feared that he had lost you."

Sand found yet another handkerchief in a pocket, and carefully dried Satoshi's cheeks with the cloud-soft Egyptian cotton. "That was the loss he could not bear, Satoshi-kun. Losing you was the one thing he could not bear."

Satoshi lifted his head from Sand's shoulder as the elf wiped the tears from his cheeks, and asked between hiccups and soft sobs, "Really? Father thought he lost me?"

Sand nodded, his eyes gentle and warm. "You were how she kept him. She threatened to take you away from him, and so he stayed, but he still thought he had lost you, and his heart was heavy."

Satoshi sobbed a little more, and one small hand guided Sand's hand, which was holding the handkerchief, to his face to let the elf dry all of his tears. "I didn't know. I thought mother hated us both. She started working at a new company when I was seven, and all of a sudden she was having us take family portraits, and going on company hanami picnics. She threatened to take me away from father? Why did she do that? How was she going to do that?" he asked with a small voice, his eyes still glistening with tears.

Sand sighed a little, his blue eyes darkening with sorrow. "She offered to let him leave, with you, and he wanted to do that. He was ready to do that. Then she got that new job, and the firm she worked for valued families. She needed you both to look perfect. She wanted to look like something she was not. She wanted to look human, so no one would see the monster behind her eyes." Sand took a deep breath. "Your father stayed because it was the only way to be near you. When people divorce, the courts give the children to the mother most of the time, and he could not prove that she was a monster."

Satoshi's eyes widened a little and his voice wavered for a moment, but his tears slowed a little. "Once I heard them arguing about a new baby. I didn't really understand it, but she said something about another woman and a baby, and then she grabbed me and threw me at father and told him to leave and take me with him. We spent the whole weekend at a hotel, just me and father. But we forgot my school uniform at home, and the next Monday we had to go home and get it, and then my nanny came to get me when school was over, and everything went back to the way it was."

Sand nodded. "Yes. The new baby was your half-brother. Your father found love elsewhere, for a short time, and at first it looked like he would leave with you. But monsters do not surrender their victims easily, and she pulled you both back when she needed you for her purposes. And so your half-brother was left to be raised by a thug because your mother could not bear a blemish on her image. She could have said he was adopted. It would have been acceptable, but she wanted to punish your father, and so Mamoru was cast aside."

Sand stroked Satoshi's hair gently, his movements slow and tender. "You were the perfect accessories, you and your father. You were handsome and bright and accomplished, and in the family portraits, you all look perfect, if you do not look into the eyes. Your eyes, and your father's eyes, they are filled with sorrow, and her eyes are as flat and lifeless as those of a snake."

Little Satoshi nodded slowly, his eyes darkening, and the knowledge of Satoshi's thirty-two years was evident in their depths. The little boy looked up into Sand's face and hesitantly he reached up and stroked Sand's cheek, his voice slightly wobbly. "You have very beautiful eyes. They are so bright and full of love. Your wife is so very lucky to have you. I'm sure you love your children more than anything."

"I do love my children more than anything, except for one person I love more," Sand replied, his eyes never leaving Satoshi's eyes. "I am married to the most perfect man, a man who completes me in ways I cannot begin to describe with my poor words. He is the music of my soul, and I love him more than anything. Together we have three children, and they are the joy of our lives."

Satoshi twitched a little bit, and shook his head with a small sound of disbelief. "A man? You can't be married to a man. You can only marry a woman."

And with that the world around them shifted again, and Sand was left kneeling on the pier, looking at little Satoshi sitting on the edge of the pier again, his feet in the water, and his book open on the same page he had been reading for the past two days.

Sand shifted his clothing one more time. Today it was neat jeans and sneakers, with a sweater over a button-down shirt. Sand held a small shopping bag in one hand, and he sank down beside Satoshi gracefully.

"We meet again, Satoshi-kun. It is good to see you, my young friend." Sand took off his sneakers and socks, and rolled up his jeans. "Do you think the koi are becoming fond of professor toes?"

Satoshi only glanced up from his book, and then down at the water where the koi were swimming around their feet lazily.

"I don't know. At least they're keeping your toes clean," he said, then buried his nose back in his book and tried to make it look like he had no interest in talking to Sand.

Sand looked down at his feet, and nodded gravely. "So they are." He reached into his shopping bag and pulled out a book of his own, a book about the catacombs of Paris, filled with pictures and maps of the vast ossuary. He also took out a small well-worn leather journal, and an old-fashioned fountain pen, and began to write some notes, referring to the maps in the book from time to time, his kanji neat and precise.

Satoshi glanced sideways when Sand pulled out his book, and the little boy's eyes widened visibly when he saw that it was a book about the catacombs that interested him so, but he forced himself to look back down at his own book, and managed to maintain the illusion of being disinterested, for all of five minutes.

Finally he lowered his own book and peered over the edge of Sand's book and stared, utterly entranced at the pictures and maps. He put his own book away without putting the bookmark into place and then he wriggled a little closer, not even noticing when he accidentally kicked one of the koi fish in the face, and then he leaned closer to Sand, to peer over the side of Sand's book, his eyes darting between Sand's book and his journal.

"What are you writing?" Satoshi asked with a reverent voice, glancing shyly up at Sand.

Sand smiled warmly, and shifted the book so that Satoshi could see it easily. "I am using the maps to refresh my memory, and writing down some of the things I observed in the catacombs." He pointed to one picture. "Do you see that fountain? They put a pair of fish in there once, but the fish were not happy to be in so dark and cold a place, and so they would not make more fish. A silly thought, to think that fish would be happy in the dark." He looked at the koi. "They are creatures of light, sparkling in the sun. And here? This is the sepulchral lamp, that burns eternally."

Sand nodded when Satoshi looked at him, silently asking permission to turn a page. "You must walk on a very careful path as a visitor, and there are guards to make sure that the bones are not disturbed, but the catacombs are much larger than most visitors see. I was allowed to see some of the closed tunnels, and they were full of astonishment and wonder."

Satoshi made a small sound of awe as he flipped the pages and drank in the pictures with immense interest. He pointed to some of the pictures and asked about them, his heart hammering so happily in his chest that Sand could hear it. Then suddenly he twitched and looked into the pond to poke his foot at one of the koi fish, chastising one of the fish, a white one with a red dot on the top of its head, slightly larger than the other fish.

"Hey, I've told you not to bite so hard, Tetsuo-kun! It hurts when you do that." Then Satoshi looked up at Sand and shook his head a little, as he told the elf, "You have to be careful of Tetsuo-kun. He likes to tease you, and sometimes he nibbles too hard. I think he eats too much. Did you know that there are fish that do live in total darkness in some cave somewhere. They are white and totally blind, because they don't need their eyes anymore. There are also fish that live in the ocean, so far down that there is no light there. Those fish have a little light bulb on a stick, that hangs over their head, and they use that to trick their prey to come closer."

Sand looked delightedly at Satoshi. "Perhaps that is what we need, then, some of those blind cave fish, who might like to live among the bones. We should write a letter to the officials overseeing the catacombs together, since you came up with this idea." He looked at the koi that Satoshi had called Tetsuo-kun. "As much as the visitors would feed him, I think Tetsuo-kun would miss your toes too much to live there."

Satoshi smothered a giggle in his hand, and then he shook his head decisively, answering, "I don't think the blind cave fish would feel good in the catacombs. And I also think that the bones would not like the fish there. The dead should be allowed to rest in peace."

"Ah, perhaps you are right about the blind cave fish," Sand agreed amicably, tilting his head up to catch the afternoon sun. "And the catacombs is truly a peaceful place, despite the visitors. There is a sense of great respect when you walk among the halls of the dead. I have spent so much time in ancient places that I am accustomed to talking to the souls of those who once walked there. Perhaps it is silly, but I think they appreciate being asked forgiveness for my disturbing their peace. I think perhaps they are pleased to think that they might live again, even if only in our imaginations."

"I think they do live again. That's what the monks and Kenji teach me. When your soul is ready to be reborn, you come back and live again. A whole new life. Now that would be nice," Satoshi said, his voice enthusiastic at first, but then it dwindled and he spoke the last words quietly, more to himself than to Sand.

Sand looked at Satoshi, his eyes warm and kind. "I was taught that we have but one life, and that we should live it to the fullest extent, to cherish every day as a new gift. I do not know if what I was taught is correct, that we only have one life, but I do know that each day is a gift that I am glad to receive, and I try to live each day to the fullest."

Satoshi bowed his head respectfully and his voice was very respectful when he answered, "I'm sorry. Kenji has taught me that there are many other beliefs in the world that think that. But I'm Buddhist, and Buddha teaches us to live our life to the fullest, but to always do so with respect, and with love, and to always be true to our beliefs and morals, and never harm others. And when we die, we go to Buddha and live with him for a while, until our soul is rested and ready to learn new lessons. Then we go back and are reborn to another lifetime. If you do bad things, your next life will be bad, and you have to repay for your bad actions, but if you do good things, you get good karma and then your next life will be good."

Satoshi looked back into the pond, gently teasing the koi with his feet, and again his voice took on that wistful pained tone as he mumbled to himself, "I think I've earned a better life. So, I'll just wait here for this one to end."

"How can you say that, when your life has just begun?" Sand asked gently. "What has hurt you so, that you cannot face another day?"

Satoshi whipped around to glare up at Sand and his voice switched to his adult voice, and the sadness that Sand had witnessed in Satoshi's eyes while he had been battling his depression flared up in the dark brown eyes. "You know full well how I can say that! For fuck's sake, are you going to make me show you all of it?!" Satoshi hissed and shoved Sand hard enough to make the elf fall over a little.

"And so you will sit here and wait for death? There is nothing back there that is worth living for?" Sand countered. "You have always fought, and fought hard, and you have always found that reason to take one more step. And now that you are not alone, now that you have found your way to love, you will give up?"

Satoshi stood up, and yelled back at Sand, the little boy growing up to the beautiful man that Sand had married six months earlier while he spoke, his anger and fear pulsing out of him in waves. "I'm not giving up! I'm just not fighting anymore. I've fucking had it. I know that if I wake up I'll suffer for weeks, months more. And with everything that I went through, with all the shit that I was told half my life, it's a fucking wonder that I've made it this far. Just fucking let me go, because I don't want to fight anymore. It isn't enough that I had my mother berating me every fucking chance she got, or the kids from elementary school to high school telling me I was worthless and stupid, I had a professor at university that sought every chance to fail me, I've had bosses and colleagues that took advantage of me. I've had friends who used me and abused me, I even had a fucking girlfriend who only dated me so she could hit on Yuji. And then on top of all that, I have fucking ghosts coming after me! I've had it. I can't fight anymore. I'm too broken. I don't know anymore what's real and what isn't, and I don't know if I'm loved at all."

Sand looked at Satoshi, his love for his husband radiating out in a powerful wave as he also stood. "I love you. I have always loved you, my soul bound to yours as one before we even said the words that joined us in marriage. Kansas loves you, with a fierceness and a purity that is transcendent. Erion took your ring in joy, as did Yuji and Willow and Vale. Our children love you, those incredibly perfect beings that we helped to create, those utter miracles." Sand lifted his chin, proud and fierce. "I will stand beside you, no matter what comes. I will share the pain and help you heal. I will battle the ghosts that haunt you. If you believe nothing else, watashi no kokoro, believe this. My love is real, real enough that if you do this, if you surrender, I will stand beside you even in death, saiai."

Satoshi tried to suppress a sob as he shoved Sand again, tears filling his eyes, his voice more sad than angry. "Don't you get it, you stupid elf? You can't love me enough. None of you can. All this shit in my head, all this darkness, it's just too much. I can't deal with it. It doesn't matter how much you tell me that life is good now, I'm still stuck with all this darkness in my head and in my heart. Don't you understand that I love the way I do, exactly because I was told so many times that I was worthless and a burden. I have always needed to earn love. And I can't do it anymore. I'm too tired."

"You do not need to earn my love. You never have. It has always been yours, without strings. I place no conditions on my love. There is nothing you can do to lose my love." Sand sighed a little. "In the very heart of the Weave, surrounded by pure magic, the magic that runs through my veins and has for my whole life, the goddess Mystra offered me a seat at her side, to be a god. My answer came without hesitation, saiai. I chose you, as I will always choose you. My love is yours, my soul is yours, my life is yours."

Satoshi gasped and sighed, his tears spilling over and he shook his head in defeat. "I don't know what to do. I'm stuck here. I don't want to leave, Masato. I just don't want to. This was the last day where I only had my mother to deal with. You don't know half of the shit that went on in my life. And the worst part is, I can't remember anything good about my life. All I can remember is the pain. All I can remember is when Ryuu went flying off the deck on his tricycle and got hurt, because I wasn't watching him, and when Takara ran into the wall when I was chasing her. I know you had Eryn fix that with magic. I dread it when Michi gets older. What do you think I'll do to her? I'm scared shitless that I'll cause her some irreversible harm with my incompetence. I am giving up, Masato.

Satoshi sobbed painfully and turned away from Sand, his hands fisting in his hair and his sobs wracking through his chest.

"There has been good. There has been a great deal of joy. Whatever is holding you here does not want you to remember, but I will help you." Sand reached out to try to pull Satoshi close. "Matsu was someone good, someone who loved you simply because you are worth loving. Do you remember how you met?"

Satoshi turned around slowly, his brow furrowed in puzzlement and he asked, "Matsu? Who's Matsu?"

"Matsumoto Ren," Sand replied, his eyes dark. "You met in school. He insisted on sitting with you at lunch, and you thought he was only going to turn out to be another bully, but he did not. He was your friend, and is still your friend. You work together now, at the studio. Saiai, surely you have not forgotten Matsu?"

Satoshi stared at Sand for a few moments, frowning as if trying to remember. Satoshi started to walk towards Sand, but stumbled and Sand jumped to grab him, but the world around them faded for a moment and suddenly Sand found himself standing in the middle of a high school classroom, Satoshi sitting in his seat in the second row by the window. All around Sand newly eighteen year old kids of both genders were piled in small groups, a few girls with bleached hair grouped together in one corner, in another three proper and prim girls sat and whispered to each other, while another table played host to a group of some slightly geeky looking boys.

At the back of the class room there sat a group of boys who acted tough, yelling at the pretty girls, or making fun of the geeky boys and prim girls, but most of all they talked loudly and derisively about Satoshi, who ignored them utterly, his eyes trained on the rain washed window, the young boy utterly lost to his own world.

A slightly chubby teen suddenly slipped into the class room, his hair cut in a childish bowl cut and his jacket collar too tight for him to be able to button up the top button. The bullies at the back all glanced at the newcomer, but seemed to decide he wasn't worth the trouble, so they turned back to their conversation.

The chubby newcomer looked around the classroom for a moment and then his eyes landed on Satoshi. He smiled a little and walked with his head held high and a confident stride over to Satoshi and politely asked if the seat beside Satoshi was taken.

Sand stood by and watched as Satoshi met Matsumoto Ren, a talkative, funny and warm teenager with a sharp wit, and easily bruised emotions, who strangely was utterly immune to the bullies. His emotions were bruised by Satoshi, when Satoshi asked if he was befriending Satoshi on some dare from the bullies, but when the bullies made fun of his stocky stature, Matsu only sashayed his hips and rubbed his round butt, winking at the bullies and asked if they were jealous that he was more of a man for the girls to love than they were.

Sand stood by and watched as Matsu introduced Satoshi to his mother, and her lesbian lover, and then later to his father and his thirty-two year old stepmother. He watched as Satoshi introduced Matsu to Yuji, and Matsu had a very dramatic hero worship moment when he admired Satoshi for having a friend in university. Then Sand watched as Satoshi and Matsu started university together, and how Matsu stood up to a professor who was in the habit of ripping Satoshi apart at every lecture, belittling his work in front of the entire class at every opportunity, and Matsu got the entire class to walk out and press a formal complaint about the professor, on Satoshi's behalf.

The last memory was of Matsu's wedding, a beautiful ceremony at a Christian church where Satoshi stood beside his best friend as his best man, and the joy and happiness that shone out of Satoshi's face when he danced with Umeko at the reception, only to have Matsu cut in and steal Satoshi away for a dance, which had the entire reception party, including the bride's parents in stitches of laughter.

The memory faded as Matsu dipped Satoshi in their dance and then loudly declared his love for Satoshi in a drunken slur, only to then add, "Oh, wait, you're not my wife!" and promptly drop Satoshi on the floor, but he had not realized Satoshi had a grip on his jacket so Matsu ended up tumbling on top of Satoshi, and Umeko had started crying with laughter.

Satoshi shivered where he stood on the pier and his tears trickled down his cheeks, although his smile was radiant and he chuckled a little bit. "Matsu. He's so nuts," Satoshi mumbled and looked up at Sand, the fear and the sadness in his soul a fraction less than it had been.

Sand smiled back at Satoshi, his blue eyes almost glowing with love. "And Kiyoshi. What about Kiyoshi?"

Satoshi swallowed thickly and shook his head a little, the scene changing before Sand's eyes this time.

Satoshi changed into a seventeen year old, a bit smaller and more slender than his peers, and his hair and attire almost too perfect for his age. He was running as fast as he could along a path that ran along the river, a slightly longer way home than needed from summer school, but Sand knew that Satoshi had often tried to find new ways home to avoid his bullies. Suddenly a rock came whizzing through the air and brushed past Satoshi's head, the teenager whimpering as he felt the rock blow past his head. Behind him the three bullies that had burned him two years earlier came racing up the path, yelling vile threats after him.

Satoshi whimpered, his heavy school bag bouncing against his back, and then he stumbled, and went sprawling down on the ground, skidding along the pavement, with a loud whimper of pain. Sand was forced to only stand by and watch as Satoshi got up on his hands and knees and started scrambling on, trying to get to his feet only to fall over again because of the heavy backpack he was carrying, and he rolled over, to scramble away from his fast approaching attackers.

Suddenly a rock came flying through the air from behind Satoshi, and hit one of the bullies hard on the shoulder, and the slender teen was surrounded by a group of boys, around his own age, all of them taking a protective stance and some of them raising rocks above their heads, ready to throw. Sand watched while Kiyoshi stepped forward and exchanged words with the bullies, the group of boys right behind him, forming a protective wall all around Satoshi, who cringed on the ground, as afraid of these strangers as he was of the bullies.

When Ogawa and his bullies finally backed down and left, Kiyoshi knelt beside Satoshi and asked if he was alright, and when Satoshi asked back if they were going to beat him up to, Kiyoshi looked genuinely puzzled and asked back "Why should we do something as mean as that?" Satoshi was then offered a chance to join the boys' soccer game, but when Satoshi said he didn't play, he was offered to sit behind one of the goals and run to get the ball if the players kicked out of bounds.

Kiyoshi's little brother had the same role on the other side of the field and Satoshi spent that summer getting to know the ten year old, as well as Kiyoshi, and the other soccer players, and Yuji sometimes joined the after school game, ecstatic to see Satoshi befriending some new people. Satoshi smiled a lot that summer, and he did not fear the bullies as much as he had, since Kiyoshi went to the same high school, and he was as protective of Satoshi as Yuji had been.

Outside of school, Sand watched Satoshi befriend Kai and Cho, as well, and when he finally met Matsu, he introduced his new friend to a small but close knit group of friends that quite obviously adored Satoshi more than anything.

The memory faded again, and Sand found himself on the pier yet again, Satoshi shivering slightly in front of him, and his eyes were filled with confusion. "They really care about me," he said, swaying slightly on his feet as his mind struggled to understand how anyone could love him at all.

"Yes, saiai, they do really love you, as do I," Sand said and reached out to gather Satoshi into his arms. "You are very much loved. Your father is a part of our lives again, and loves you with his whole heart. You have Mamoru, our Momo-san, your brother. There is so much love in your life, love freely offered to you because you deserve to be loved."

Satoshi leaned into Sand's arms and sobbed quietly, his voice cracking. "I know. I remember. You and Yuji, Willow, Vale, Erion. My beautiful Tatsuya. Ryuu, Takara, Michi and the kids. Father. Eryn. I remember. All of my friends."

He buried his face in Sand's shoulder, his arms tightening around his elf, and he sobbed again, louder and more heartwrenching, his voice shattering. "She told me I was worthless, a burden, a fucking disgrace and a failure, and I always tried not to be, but nothing was good enough. That's all I've been remembering since my accident. The beatings and the canings, the name calling, how she would look at me, like I was the most vile thing in the world."

Satoshi looked up at Sand, his eyes flowing in tears, and his sobs tearing through his body with such force that he could barely stand. "I need to face those memories. I need to let them go, or I'll never make it out of here. I'll never be strong enough. I need to lay those memories to rest."

"We will face them together, watashi no kokoro. Lean on me, and let me be strong for you." Sand wrapped his arms around Satoshi, holding his beloved husband tightly, kissing his gorgeous cherry red hair. "I will always be at your side, to fight beside you, to support you, and to love you with all that I am."

Satoshi smiled weakly at Sand and he reached up to touch Sand's cheek softly, his eyes filling with love and wonder. "I love you. I still don't understand what it is that you love about me, and sometimes I doubt I will ever get it. But I know that you do. I know you will always be beside me. You have such beautiful eyes. They were the first thing I noticed, those pale eyes. I love you, Mori Masato." Satoshi's voice trembled a little but it was with love, not fear, and as he stroked Sand's cheek a pair of rings materialized on his finger, a slender band of precious stones on his left forefinger, and a braided red gold band on his left ring finger, below it a slim simple yellow gold band appeared, and Satoshi smiled softly.

Sand looked at the rings, and his smile was radiant and brighter than the sun. "You do not need to get it. Simply know that I love you, that I have always loved you, and I will always love you." He leaned in to kiss Satoshi tenderly, his eyes luminous and filled with love for his pierced husband. "Let us put these memories to rest, so that you may come home with me. I love you, Mori Satoshi."

Satoshi responded to the kiss with equal love, his hand fisting in Sand's hair, his other hand tangling in Sand's shirt and trying to pull him closer than physically possible. When he finally broke the kiss, a little breathless, Satoshi smiled, one of his beautiful shy smiles, and asked hesitantly, "Are you sure you can handle it? It's pretty gruesome at times."

"I will handle it, saiai. There is nothing I cannot cope with if it will bring you peace, and I am not without my own resources. I will be strong for you, I promise you, my Satoshi." Sand stroked Satoshi's cheek with love and wonderment. "You are so very beautiful, my love."

Satoshi smiled a little more confidently and then nodded his head slowly, his voice finally calm and steady. "Alright then, let's do this. I think we should start on the last one, and work our way back. I'm not feeling strong enough to battle my mother just yet."

[Rating or Review]

Generic Review! Heck, I'd rather have an imaginative flame than a five star rating.

What JayDee said... The ratings are meaningless to me, but if you take the time to review, well... that says I reached you.

[Sandcastles and Fireworks]

Erion lifted his head slowly, his eyes a dark and stormy grey. He looked at Kansas for a long moment, his expression hard to decipher, his face immobile, so unlike the usual lively parade of expressions that would dance across those beautiful features.

"I understand. I've always understood," Erion said, and his voice was a shattered thing. "I'll show you." It was seamless, the young elf not bothering to hide his ability to press communing, and almost instantly, Kansas was watching through Erion's eyes as Kansas and Satoshi exchanged their vows in Evereska.

Kansas stiffened slightly when Erion pressed the communing on him, but then he relaxed as Erion's words sank in, and he opened up to let Erion lead him into the memory. When he found himself standing and watching himself marrying his beloved Satoshi in Evereska, his heart soared and he smiled brightly, his whole being filled with Erion's feelings.

Erion had focused his attention on Satoshi's face, and the expression of utter joy as Satoshi made his vow to Kansas, his eyes never leaving the little imp's face. Kansas had stared back into Satoshi's eyes with that same rapt intensity, and the two of them might as well have been alone, so deeply connected were they.

Erion allowed Kansas to feel what he had felt, the pure happiness at seeing Satoshi and Kansas able to express the vast love between them, and to have it acknowledged and celebrated as it should be. Erion's love for Kansas was also there, and alongside that love, the first blossoming of Erion's love for Satoshi.

But the consummate moment came as they finished exchanging their vows, and the golden light that was Hanali's blessing showered down on them, illuminating a slender braid that ran between Satoshi and Kansas. It was not quite a bond, and not quite a soul light, this delicate strand, but it bound Satoshi and Kansas as surely as any bond, and it shone with the radiance of a soul light to Erion's eyes, and the young elf's heart had soared with joy to see it.

Erion dipped his head slightly, allowing the memory to fade slowly, and he paused as if inviting comment from Kansas.

Kansas gasped a little and his arms tightened around Erion as it dawned on him that Erion had always known how deep the bond between Kansas and Satoshi was, perhaps he had even known better than Kansas and Satoshi themselves knew. Kansas lifted his chin a little and nuzzled into Erion's neck, tightening his arms a little more around Erion.

"There's more," Erion rasped, his tongue darting out to moisten dry lips, his saliva tinged red. Once again, he pulled Kansas into a memory effortlessly, Kansas seeing through Erion's eyes, and feeling what Erion felt.

Satoshi and Kansas were sitting in the living room, playing a game of Go. Kansas was bent over the board, his brow lightly furrowed as a small frown covered his beautiful face, his concentration so intense that he was oblivious to Satoshi's expression. Erion, however, had a perfect view, and he had smiled as he watched Satoshi watching Kansas, the slender pierced man's face bright with pride as Kansas assessed the board. Kansas loved strategy games and excelled at them, his keen intelligence allowed free reign.

Suddenly Kansas smiled, his face lighting up with delight, and he flipped a stone and looked up at Satoshi with glee. Satoshi laughed and threw his hands up, acknowledging defeat, and as Kansas grinned happily and began to put away the game, Satoshi watched him with pride and love. It was a small moment, just a tiny glimpse, but the love in Satoshi's eyes was as pure and perfect as the dawn.

Erion watched these two men that he loved, seeing the bond between them. He was content to curl up, knowing that the love they shared only enhanced the love they offered to Erion, and his heart was filled with peace and joy.

Once again, Erion let the memory fade, and he waited to give Kansas a chance to breathe.

Kansas drew a sharp breath when he saw the look on Satoshi's face in the memory, and then he sobbed quietly and nuzzled closer to Erion, his voice broken and sad, but filled with love as well. "Does he always look at me like that?" he whispered, shivering slightly on the cold floor.

Erion nuzzled Kansas's hair gently, and through his bond he sent a warm wave of affirmation. His hand stroked Kansas's hair while his other arm tried to pull Kansas in closer to share warmth with him.

"One more," Erion managed, his voice painful to hear, and he led Kansas into another memory.

Kansas watched through Erion's eyes as he strode onto the stage at Nihon University, his kimono and striped hakama perfect as he prepared to receive his diploma. There was a small noise next to Erion, so soft that only an elf would have heard it, and Erion turned his head to look at Satoshi.

There were tears pearling on Satoshi's lashes, and his gorgeous eyes shone like jewels in the light as he watched Kansas, slim and beautiful and confident, walking across the stage with graceful assurance. As Kansas bowed deeply and then accepted his diploma, Satoshi's face lit with a smile whose radiance rivaled the sun, and under cover of his haori, Satoshi took Erion's hand and squeezed it tightly.

Erion could feel the selfless pride and love that radiated from Satoshi as he watched Kansas achieve what should have been impossible, what would have been impossible if not for the endless love and devotion that Satoshi had poured into helping Kansas become the man he was.

As Kansas turned to leave the stage, he looked out over the audience, and despite the many people there, his eyes went unerringly to Satoshi, and he smiled, and Erion felt tears of joy spill over as he saw the love and devotion returned as Kansas looked at his Satoshi.

Erion let the memory fade, his head bent to obscure his eyes.

"Sometimes," Erion said, and the terrible ruin of his voice was painful to hear, "Sometimes, I'm jealous of the others, but never Satoshi." A wave of tangled emotion washed over Kansas, sorrow and love and shame all jumbled together.

Kansas sobbed quietly as he saw the pride and love in Satoshi's eyes as he watched Kansas graduate from university, and Kansas's soul soared with the knowledge that those were Satoshi's real feelings for the little imp, that was real pride and joy in what Kansas had accomplished.

Kansas moved closer to Erion and snuggled into the elf's embrace, reaching up to touch his cheek with a trembling hand. "I love you, Erion, I love you as much as I love him. And I know that he loves you as much as he loves me. You don't need to be ashamed of anything. I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm so sorry." Kansas's voice trembled, but it was clear and filled with emotion, that cold unconcern he'd been radiating the whole week gone.

"I know how much you love me," Erion managed, the words slow and tortured. "Satoshi is a part of us, and that's right. I love you both." He dipped his head further, turning away slightly. "What happened is forgiven. The shame is for the times when I'm small and jealous, when I forget what matters."

Kansas sat up and cupped Erion's face in both his hands, trying to lift Erion's head so he could look the elf in the eyes. "I love you. You are my soul, Erion. You are my starlight, my moonbeam, my very reason for living. You are never small or jealous. You never forget what matters. You are always there when I need you. You are always the strong one, the one who holds me together. I'm sorry that I'm so weak and useless, and so lost in my past. I'm sorry." Kansas spoke slowly and sobbed painfully between his words, large tears flowing down his face.

Erion feathered his fingers over Kansas's bruised cheek, his eyes still dark grey. "I hurt you. I love you more than life, and I hurt you. My dragon, 'lokiamin, fëa'amin. You aren't lost anymore. You're here again, and I won't let go this time." His cheeks were wet, the tears slipping down them unnoticed. He coughed a little, a spot of blood appearing on his lip, and he grimaced.

Erion reached out to brush away Kansas's tears, trying to smile a little. "Atar wouldn't approve but I think I need to go be sick, and then maybe drink a potion."

Kansas sobbed quietly, and wiped the spot of blood from Erion's lips with his thumb, then thoughtlessly stuck his thumb into his mouth to lick the blood off. He licked his lips quickly, stroking Erion's cheek, his voice breaking a little bit. "I hurt you. This is nothing, compared to what I did to you. I'm sorry. I got lost in my head. I went back there. They sometimes forced me to do that to the little puppies. I just wanted some affection, but then something snapped when you said no. I'm sorry."

Erion shook his head quickly, his eyes fluttering closed as he sucked in a quick breath. "I couldn't. It happened, once, and I felt filthy afterward. You were back there, back then, and you cried after I was done. I couldn't do that again. This was better."

There was a quiet desperation in the broken voice, a wordless plea for understanding, and Erion's eyes locked onto Kansas's eyes as he searched those pale depths for salvation.

Kansas hesitantly pulled Erion into a hug, stroking the silver hair gently, and his small hand reached up to wipe Erion's tears from his cheeks, his voice a fraction stronger than it had been, a confidence in it that had not been there before.

"I forgive you, Erion. I know what I'm like when I get like that, and I know how hard it is to realize before it's too late. I've done the same thing to Satoshi and Yuji. I do forgive you. Honestly, it might have been worse if you had not done it, because Puppy gets more upset if you don't respond to him."

Erion sank gratefully into the hug, needing the comfort and the touch, needing to let go for a moment and just give in to the sorrow. "He pretended to like it but he cried. Amin hiraetha, ro nalle. I'm sorry, he cried. I haven't had any desire since then. I couldn't. I can't." Erion sobbed, and the sobs made him cough again, and then retch a little.

Kansas scrambled to his feet and tugged Erion with him, all but carrying him to the bathroom and opened the toilet for Erion. He knelt on the floor behind Erion and held the silver hair back, gently stroking Erion's back with one hand, his voice soothing and full of love. "I know, my love. He's like that. Puppy was taught to like it, no matter whether he liked it or not. He was conditioned to beg for more, even if it hurt so bad he wanted to die."

Kansas leaned over and kissed Erion's shoulder lovingly as he continued. "I understand that you had no desire. I completely understand. And I can wait for as long as you need me to. I will wait until you are ready again, my starlight."

Erion retched again, and then vomited, shuddering as bile and bright blood spewed into the toilet. He sobbed between heaves, trembling as Kansas stroked him tenderly, his already damaged throat burning from the bile.

When he was finally done, Erion leaned back and let himself sink into Kansas's arms, shivering and miserable. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, 'lokiamin. I should be stronger than this. I'm a warrior, not a fucking maiden." He leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment, waiting to make sure that his stomach was truly emptied. Deciding he was not going to vomit again, Erion struggled to his feet, awkward and clumsy, and clung to the edge of the sink as he ran water to rinse his mouth.

Kansas rose to his feet with Erion, stiff and unsteady himself, but he did not even flinch as he hurried over and pulled the basket of healing potions out of the cupboard and flipped through the vials until he found one of the strong ones, uncorked it and handed it to Erion, stroking the elf's silver hair.

"Yes, you are a warrior. You are so much stronger than me. You have the strength to survive this. We'll do it together." Kansas stepped closer to Erion and leaned his head against the back of Erion's shoulder, his arms stroking Erion's arms gently, and then Kansas whispered, his voice filled with fear and sorrow. "I felt you begin to fade, and I knew I'd lost you. All I could think was to lie down and fade too, so you wouldn't leave me."

Erion drank the potion, feeling the warmth of the healing work its way through him, and he took a deep breath, shuddering again as forgotten pains flared briefly before disappearing. "Thank you, 'lokiamin. You need one yourself, for your cheek." He turned a little, to look into Kansas's eyes. "I couldn't help it, the fading. It's how we react to..." He stopped, and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply. "There are things that damage our souls, things we can't seem to handle, and we fade. But sometimes, you can find a way to survive what shouldn't be survived. Sand did it, and I knew I could."

Erion turned the rest of the way, seeking the comfort of Kansas's arms. "I just couldn't stand it when you started to fade, and I just did what Ryo told me worked. I'm sorry."

"Thank you for that. For not fading." Kansas sobbed, stroking Erion's cheek lovingly, his tears falling again, and he looked down in shame as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around Erion's shoulders and pulled him into a hug. "I know what you mean about things that damage your soul. You know what I've lived through. That has damaged my soul. I fight it every day, but sometimes I get overpowered by it. I get overwhelmed by that darkness and I can't stop myself. But I can't live without you any more, Erion. My beautiful Yuki. That's why fading was all I could think of doing. I'm so sorry that I raped you."

Erion flinched a little at the word, laying a gentle finger on Kansas's lips. "Even the word has power, 'lokiamin. I... it hurts to even hear it." Erion looked utterly distraught. "I don't want anyone else to know, though. I don't think I can stand it if they look at me like..." His voice trailed off, and he bit back a small sob.

Kansas gasped a little bit and tightened his arms around Erion, his voice filled with regret. "Oh, Seldarine, I'm sorry. I'll never say that again. I'm so sorry. I won't tell anyone." Kansas hesitated, and gnawed on his lip for a moment, then he continued in a trembling voice, "I want to tell Satoshi, when he comes home and is up to talking. I need to tell someone, and he's the only one I trust enough. I don't want to tell Ryo, because he would just get angry at me. He loves you like a brother. Momo would probably kill me. But I need to tell Satoshi. He is after all your husband already. He has every right to kill me, to be honest. But I promise, I'll never use that word to you again."

Erion shivered hard, and he knew suddenly what Kageoshi had felt, what Momo had felt, what Kansas had felt over and over. The shame, the need to hide, the feeling that it was all somehow his own fault, all of it washed over Erion and he clung to Kansas.

"No, baby, it's okay." Erion looked at Kansas, and his eyes were paler, the faintest hint of silver in their depths. "I think maybe I need to not hide from it. I don't want to chat about it over dinner, but I think Satoshi should know, and maybe I should talk to Sand as well, when Satoshi is home again. I don't know any other elf that managed to avoid fading, and maybe he can help me, too. But can we call it something else, 'lokiamin? At least until I talk to Sand?"

Kansas held Erion tightly and stroked his beautiful silver hair gently, nodding as he answered, "Of course, isilmeamin. Call it something else? We could call it non consensual, or say that I forced you. Which ever you want, my love. But I will not shy away from it with Sand and Satoshi. If Sand wants to punish me for this, I will take it like a man. I need to be a man and face the consequences of my actions."

Kansas lifted his head to look Erion in the eyes and stared deep into the dark silver eyes, his own eyes still silvery but darkening slowly. He drew a deep breath and then leaned in to kiss Erion softly on the lips, just a quick peck, and his voice wavered for the faintest moment, when he spoke. "I have never been as afraid in my life, as I've been this week, since Satoshi had his accident. Not until now. When I felt you start to fade, it was even worse than when I tried to push you away in Evereska. You are my whole world now, Erion. There is nothing that I will not do for you. And I promise you, I will do whatever you need me to, to help us through this. I love you, Erion Iradil. I want to marry you, and spend the next eight hundred years making you happy."

Erion rummaged in the potions basket and dug out a potion for Kansas's cheek, handing it to his beloved imp. "Drink this, baby. I'm so scared I fractured something when I hit you. And then I think I want to shower. Don't leave me?" He turned to start the water in the shower, talking over his shoulder to Kansas. "Sand won't punish you, but you might get a lecture. You ask me, I'd rather have the punishment than the lecture, which may be why he does it."

Erion turned back around, looking at Kansas steadily, his eyes silvery and clear. "I love you, Hayashi Tatsuya, my Kansas, my life. I'm going to marry you, and we'll spend the next eight hundred years making each other happy. You're already helping me by standing with me, and I know we're going to get past this. But right now, we need to get our Satoshi well and home. Maybe we can't do anything fancy like Sand, but we can help and make things easier for everyone else until Satoshi's home. Then we can fuss over him until he beats us off with a stick, or one of his fancy canes."

Kansas eyed the potion for a moment, but then decided not to tell Erion that he felt like he did not deserve being healed so quickly. He downed the potion quickly and then moved over to Erion, reaching out to help Erion undress, but then hesitated, unsure if Erion wanted Kansas to touch him.

"I might deserve a lecture, and I'll take it. Do you want me to help you shower, my love? I can wash your hair and your back, if you want me to," Kansas said quietly.

"I do, baby," Erion said, reaching out to cup Kansas's face tenderly. "I'm probably going to be a bit shaky, emotionally, that is. But I want to be near you and to sleep next to you and hold you and be held. The rest will come back, but please don't think you can't touch me."

Erion let Kansas help him peel off his clothing, and he sighed happily as he stepped into the shower and let the hot water wash over him. Kansas's hands were strong and tender as he washed Erion's back carefully, only pausing as he got close to Erion's rounded ass. Erion reached around behind himself, and laid his hands over Kansas's hands, guiding them down and over the silky globes.

Kansas stepped into the shower with Erion, his heart easing a little as he realized that Erion might forgive him some day, and he was as gentle as he was with Michi as he washed Erion's hair and back. He hesitated, when his hands came close to Erion's ass, but he sighed inwardly with relief when Erion guided Kansas' hands down over his round ass.

"I love you, 'lokiamin," Erion murmured, leaning back a little.

Kansas leaned a little closer and kissed Erion's shoulder gently. "I love you, isilmeamin. And I'll wait, for as long as you need me to. But thank you for letting me touch you. I always feel safer and more secure if I can feel your skin against mine. But I'll wait for you to be ready," Kansas whispered, stroking his soaped hands over Erion's backside, and his hips. There was a small surge of desire that ran through his bond with Erion and his cock twitched ever so slightly, but he clamped down on that immediately, and harshly forced himself to will his cock down.

Erion looked over his shoulder at Kansas, his eyes silver and bright with love. "Do you remember when we met, and we weren't ready to actually make love? We kissed and touched and stroked, and eventually tasted, and when we were ready, we made love. You think that would work again? Sort of starting over? I mean, we're officially engaged and everything, so I think some cuddling and kissing and touching could be in order." He brushed his lips over Kansas's lips, and it felt so right. A powerful wave of love washed out through his bond to wrap around Kansas.

Kansas sobbed quietly with relief and tangled his hand in Erion's hair, his other hand sliding around to his chest to tease one pink nipple, his lips tickling over Erion's neck, as he answered, his voice filled with love, "We can do that, my love. I like that actually. You lead the way, just like you did then. I won't rush you. I love you."

Erion's smile was bright as he half turned and leaned in to nibble Kansas's plump lips gently. "I love you, 'lokiamin." He let himself fall into the kiss, deepening it a little, and for the first time since he had inadvertently slept with Puppy, Erion felt a stirring in his groin, his cock hardening slightly, and his heart soared as he realized that he would indeed heal. His slim fingers slipped into Kansas's thick hair, and he moaned sweetly into the kiss, his back arching slightly as Kansas teased his sensitive nipples.

Kansas eased Erion around as they kissed, Kansas's hand sliding through the silver hair to tease the delicate point of Erion's ear, his other hand stroking Erion's nipple until it stood erect. Then he slid his hand slowly down Erion's slender body, teasing the pale blue jewel in Erion's belly button. Kansas deepened the kiss a little more, gently pressing his already throbbing cock against Erion's groin.

Erion moaned again, one of his throaty little moans, and he ground back gently, his own cock hardening rapidly at all the familiar little touches, the things Kansas always did, touches he knew drove his elf wild with desire. These were the thing that had been missing, things Puppy would never dream of doing, and yet were exactly what Erion needed to help heal. One slim hand slid down to toy with Kansas's nipples before sliding lower and wrapping tentatively around Kansas's generous cock. At the same time, Erion wriggled a little, his cock rubbing against Kansas deliciously.

Kansas moaned breathily, and pressed his hips forward, sliding his cock into Erion's hand. "Oh, I love you so much, my beautiful star elf," Kansas whispered, feathering kisses down Erion's neck, nibbling sharply at Erion's collarbone. He traced his tongue down to Erion's nipple and teased the tight little nub to hardness, his hand wrapping around Erion's cock and stroking it gently.

Erion gasped a little and stroked Kansas's cock in time with Kansas's stroking of his own cock, his head falling back to give Kansas better access to his neck. As Kansas's mouth moved lower, Erion arched his back beautifully, presenting his nipples, his cock jumping a little in Kansas's hand.

It had been a few days since Erion had even wanted to be touched, and the heat in his belly grew rapidly as Kansas continued to stroke his eager cock. "Oh, 'lokiamin, that feels so good," Erion murmured, his voice sweet and filled with love. "I don't know if I can last, baby."

Kansas moaned as he suckled a little on Erion's nipple, but when Erion murmured, Kansas dropped to his knees, and wrapped his lips around Erion's cock, taking him in to the root, swallowing around the head as it hit the back of his throat. Kansas moaned softly, his hands stroking Erion's hips and his stomach, teasing the glittering bellybutton piercing as he sucked Erion's cock with a happy smile.

Kansas pulled off completely and looked up at his love with heated eyes, his voice purring with his arousal, "Come for me, my love. Let me taste you. Let go, and come for me."

Kansas wrapped his lips around Erion's cock again, and sank down over him, taking him in to the root, and swallowing with a happy moan, his cheeks hollowing when he pulled back, his dark grey eyes staring up at Erion, brimming with love, happiness and joy. He teased the cleft under the head with the tip of his tongue, sliding the tip of his tongue over the slit, then sank down again, one hand cupping Erion's balls and massaging them gently.

Erion's back arched as Kansas sucked his cock to the root, Kansas's small hand expertly caressing his balls. Erion's fingers slid into Kansas's thick hair, tugging gently as the young elf howled softly. "Oh, baby, I can't hold on," Erion mewled, and he howled again, his voice sweet and pure as he felt his achingly full balls empty, his cum thick and hot as he filled Kansas's mouth with spurt after spurt. Erion writhed a little, his back arched and his fingers tightening a little in Kansas's hair as he let out another happy scream, his bond wide open and throbbing with love and utter bliss.

Kansas moaned happily as he milked every drop from Erion, savoring the taste of his beloved, and he threw his bond wide open, allowing Erion to feel all of his pleasure and bliss, and most of all his endless love for Erion. There was a tiny trickle of sadness and worry for Satoshi, a small aching in his heart but that was focused entirely on Satoshi, and not on what had just happened between the two lovers.

When Kansas had milked every drop from the slender elf, Kansas rose to his feet and gathered him into his arms, teasing his lips over Erion's lips, purring softly. His cock throbbed against Erion's abdomen, and Kansas pressed his hips forward a little to slide against the silken skin of his elf.

Erion purred back, nibbling on Kansas's lips, his tongue teasing as it sought entry. "I want to taste you, 'lokiamin. All of you, starting here." Erion delicately plundered Kansas's mouth, his fingers sliding into Kansas's hair as he lost himself for a long moment in the kiss.

Erion moved along Kansas's jaw and down his pale throat, nibbling and sucking the translucent skin until he reached the tender hollow at the base of Kansas's throat. Erion lapped at that sweet depression, savoring the taste and feel of Kansas as he kissed his way slowly down to Kansas's tight little nipple, his tongue dragging catlike over the hard nub. Erion teased it further with his pearly teeth, alternating tongue and teeth until Kansas was moaning.

Kansas moaned into the kiss, letting Erion plunder his mouth. When Erion moved down to his throat and then nipple, Kansas leaned back against the wall and moaned loudly. Kansas threw his head back and moaned, pressing his chest into Erion's mouth, his hands tight on Erion's back, stroking slowly, as he gave himself completely over to his pleasure.

One of Kansas's hands slid into Erion's hair and tugged gently, trying to get the elf to move over to the other nipple, his moans taking on a slightly needy sound.

Erion obliged, subjecting the other nipple to the same tender assault, his hands sliding around to cup Kansas's ass. When Kansas arched again, grinding against Erion, Erion let his hot mouth travel lower, across the hard planes of Kansas's belly to his navel. Erion circled Kansas's navel with his tongue, trailing the tip just around the very edge, and then Erion slid the tip of his tongue into Kansas's navel as his lips pressed down to suck gently as his tongue probed.

In the meantime, one slim hand slid around Kansas's hipbone and feathered down, teasing along the sharp curve of the bone. Erion could feel Kansas's throbbing cock bouncing gently against his chest, and he purred a little before moving his questing mouth lower. Erion flicked his tongue out almost delicately, licking the beads of precum from the head of Kansas's cock and savoring the taste of his beloved imp for a moment before lowering his head to engulf the head of Kansas's cock, sucking daintily and letting his tongue swirl around it.

Kansas stared down at Erion as the young elf moved down his body, sending sparks of pleasure up his spine to his head. When Erion finally wrapped his tongue around Kansas's cock, Kansas let out a soft howl, his hand fisting harder in Erion's hair, but then Kansas let go and raised his arms above his head, clawing at the slick tiles of the wall.

"Oh, Seldarine, that is so good, my love," Kansas moaned, his knees trembling with his pleasure and his eyes shining with adoration as he stared down at Erion.

Erion let his mouth slide slowly down Kansas's cock, his lips stretched beautifully around the generous girth and his tongue flat along the underside. Erion moaned in delight as he took in more and more of Kansas's cock, not hesitating at all when the head hit the back of his throat. Erion simply tilted his head and let Kansas slide in all the way, until Erion's nose was buried in the chestnut curls at its root. Erion slid his tongue past his lower lip to lap at Kansas's balls, one slim finger massaging the tender flesh between the base of Kansas's cock and his tight pucker.

Kansas moaned loudly, his legs spreading slightly to give Erion better access, his hands clawing at the wall above his head, fighting the urge to tangle his hands in Erion's silver hair and shove the young elf down on his cock. Kansas's eyes fluttered closed as he gave himself over to his elf. He moved one arm down to slide his hand over Erion's hand, tangling his fingers with Erion's, his eyes dark grey and burning with pleasure, as he watched his beloved elf.

"I won't last, my love. I can't hold on." Kansas moaned, his hand reaching down to touch Erion's cheek, still not daring to tangle in the wet silver tresses to guide his elf like he sometimes did.

Erion slid back up the generous cock, his tongue flat and teasing the thick vein that pulsed along the underside of the shaft, his cheeks hollow as he sucked hard. One slim hand released Kansas's hip to pull Kansas's hand to his hair, and Erion purred happily when Kansas slid his fingers into the long silver mane.

Erion slid back down on Kansas's cock, feeling his beloved imp's fingers tighten as he swallowed the head of Kansas's cock with a throaty little purr, swallowing hard to push Kansas to the edge and over, his finger pressing hard on Kansas's prostate from the outside.

Kansas sobbed a little with pleasure when Erion moved his hand to the silver hair and he tugged slightly to guide Erion down on his cock. Not hard, just enough to hold the illusion of being in control. Kansas threw his head back as Erion pressed on his prostate, and his hips involuntarily thrust forward a little, and he moaned loudly.

"I'm coming, my love," Kansas cried out, his eyes widening, dark gray and glittering with pleasure, and his balls drew up slowly, his cock twitching in Erion's mouth, and then load after hot load shot into the tight little mouth, and Kansas howled at his elf, blissful tears falling from his lashes.

Erion swallowed happily, pulling back to savor the taste of his Kansas, his own face a picture of bliss as he drank down Kansas's cum with relish. Erion's bond was thrown completely open, his love and joy radiating outward, and he wrapped his arms around Kansas's hips as he milked every drop from his imp.

Erion guided Kansas as he sank down against the tile wall, the young elf wrapping his arms around Kansas and leaning in to nibble a sated and blissful kiss from Kansas's plump lips. "I love you, 'lokiamin, my blue dragon, my young god, my everything. I love you."

Kansas gathered Erion into his arms as he sank down on the floor of the shower, panting slightly and shivering with the aftershocks of his orgasm. He held the elf close, their bond open wide and filled with love and pleasure, as perfect and fulfilling as it had ever been. "I love you. You are so perfect, isilmeamin. My starlight, my moonbeam, my young god. Perfect companion of my soul. I love you," Kansas whispered, kissing Erion back, and holding him tightly, as he stroked Erion's silver hair.

Erion curled up in Kansas's arms, feeling all the tiny little aches and wounds that had troubled his soul over the last week vanish in the heat of Kansas's love. He could not help nibbling small kisses, his heart peaceful, and he felt a new strength fill him as he snuggled close enough to feel Kansas's heart beating against him.

They cuddled for a few minutes, and then the cold tile grew too cold, so they finished washing and warming up under the hot water. They dried each other carefully, with small caresses and kisses, and dressed in comfortable sweatpants and t-shirts before heading downstairs to see if they could help with dinner, or wrangle small children, or just be useful in some way, their fingers laced tightly together as they came down the stairs.

[Sandcastles and Fireworks]

Sand waited with growing anxiety for Tanaka to emerge from Satoshi's room, his blue eyes dark with distress. He reached out tentatively along his bond with Satoshi, meeting that cold wall again, and it took a great deal of will for Sand to refrain from battering that wall down.

The time seemed to drag as slowly as a glacier, and Satoru watched as Sand stood and paced a bit, his desire to be doing something driving the elf into motion. Despite not having rested at all, Sand was still a bundle of nervous energy, and he slid his fingers through his long hair, tugging on it a bit as he kept peering out the door of the waiting room to look down the hall.

Yuji cried until he simply had no more tears to shed, resting in Eryn's embrace utterly motionless, staring off into space. Satoru moved closer to them when Sand stood up, and stroked Yuji's back gently in reassurance.

Yuji did not respond to him, but instead he let his eyes fall shut, and then his lips started to move slowly, his voice ghosting out of him in fervent prayers, his hands pressed together so hard that the skin of his fingertips turned white.

Eryn looked up at Sand, the slightest of edges in her voice. "Utinuamin, sit down, would you? You're making me dizzy with your circling."

Sand did not seem to hear Eryn, his long fingers running through his hair over and over as he grew more and more anxious.

"Masato!" Eryn's voice rang out in the quiet room, the voice of someone who expected to be obeyed without question. "Enough now. Sit and cease this prowling."

Sand blinked a bit, and his eyes filled with tears. "I cannot stand the waiting. I need to know what is happening with him."

"You aren't helping anyone else," Eryn observed, and Sand looked at Yuji, his eyes widening in dismay.

Sand hurried over to drop to his knees and clasp Yuji's hands between his hands. "I am sorry, Yuji. I am so sorry. You are as distressed as I am, and I have not acknowledged that. Forgive me, my love."

Yuji's whispers faltered and he hesitated as he tried to remember the next line of the prayer, but when it eluded him, his brow furrowed and he blinked his eyes open slowly, focusing on Sand, his eyes filled with sorrow. He reached out hesitantly and tugged at Sand's arm, pulling the elf closer so he could wrap his arms around Sand's shoulders, tugging the elf into an embrace, his voice trembling so badly that it was difficult to understand his words.

"I'm sorry. I should have been here for you both. I'm afraid it's nothing good. This is not good. This is not good, Masato. I'm afraid we're losing him," Yuji said, his chin wobbling, and his eyes narrowing as he started crying again, but without tears, his eyes only turning redder, and his sobs tore through his chest.

"No, Yuji, we will not lose him. We did not lose Hawk, and we will not lose Satoshi." Sand's voice grew stronger, the elf's eyes clearing a bit, and Eryn smiled slightly before releasing her hold on Yuji and moving over to Satoru.

"We are not going to let him slip away from us. He has far too much to live for now, and we will make sure that he lives every day that is his to live." Sand stroked Yuji's back as he held him, knowing how deeply wounded Yuji was to show his pain so openly.

Yuji nodded against Sand's shoulder, his whole body shivering with the effort of stopping his crying. His voice was muffled in Sand's neck, but the elf could hear him clearly, his words broken by his sobs, but his voice was a fraction calmer now. "I got jealous when he first fell for you. I didn't want to let him be with you at first. But I saw the way you looked at him. The way you made him smile. I had seen that smile before, you know. When he looked at me. He still does, but it's even more beautiful when he looks at you. Please, don't let him slip away from us. I can't live without him. I'll tell you whatever you need to know, everything that I know about him, to help you. Please, Masato, bring him back."

Sand stroked Yuji's hair. "I have never thought to come between you and Satoshi, my love. He is yours, as much as he is mine. More so, perhaps, since you were each other's first loves. But I promise you this, Yuji. I will bring him back, no matter what it takes. I will not be afraid and I will not flinch away. I can do this, and I will." Sand kissed Yuji's forehead tenderly. "We need to know what the doctors can tell us first, and then we will know what needs to be done. I may need you to run a little interference with the staff here, though. They are very devoted to our Satoshi, and I may need some time alone to do what I must."

Yuji nodded slowly, and tugged Sand up on the chair beside him, whispering back, "I'll do whatever you need me to. Whatever it takes."

Yuji leaned into Sand's embrace, and looked up at the elf with bloodshot eyes, swollen and red rimmed from his tears, and he suddenly looked as young and lost as Kansas, his voice pleading softly, "Please hold me? I need to find strength somewhere, and you are the only one I can turn to right now. And I did not mean that you had come between us. I meant that I was a possessive fool who did not want to share him with you. But I saw the love between you two, so I knew I had to or I would lose him. I do not regret that at all, Masato, I do not regret sharing him with you, because no one has ever done for him what you do every day."

Sand held Yuji gladly, his heart lifting slightly as the two alpha males finally cleared the last barrier between them. "I love you as well, Yuji, because you have kept him together for so long with just the force of your fierce love. We will always share him, and I am glad of that, for there is no one I would trust more with our gentle Satoshi than you. Let me hold you, my love, and share my strength with you."

Eryn looked at Sand, her eyes narrowed slightly. "What you propose is madness, Masato. Who will be your anchor?"

Sand smiled faintly. "Vale can anchor me, and lend me strength as well. He is formidable in his own right, as you well know. There is no other way, and I would ask you to help as well, should we need your particular skills."

Eryn nodded, and turned to Satoru. "I will explain later, my husband, when we can talk privately."

Yuji raised his head from Sand's shoulder, his eyes a little wide and he wiped his nose on his hand unconsciously as he asked Sand in a whisper, "What does she mean?"

"If Satoshi will not wake for the doctors, I will simply have to go and find him, and bring him home as I did with Hawk." Sand smiled at Yuji, looking calmer than he had in days. "This I know. This I can do. It is something that will make me feel useful, more so than sitting in an armchair and begging Satoshi to come home."

Yuji blinked his eyes and stared stupidly at Sand for a few moment, his mouth slightly open, and then he licked his lips nervously, nodding slowly. "I'm not even going to pretend like I understand what you mean, but I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I'm here. I'll tell you everything you need to know," Yuji said quietly, and a small flicker of his strength flashed in his eyes.

Sand's smile widened. "That is exactly what I need. I do not know what I will find, but I need to know that I can ask you about what I might see. You have shared dreams with Vale, yes? It will be similar to that. I will simply join his dream, and coax him home with me."

Yuji nodded and managed a small fragile smile. "Now I understand. I'll be here, and I won't hide anything, I promise. I need him back, Masato. I've come to realize this week that I can't live without him. I might not fade, not completely, but I won't be myself anymore without him."

"None of you would be the same," Sand said, his voice gentle. He did not bother telling Yuji what Yuji already knew, that Sand would fade, joining Satoshi in death if he could not coax him back among the living.

Eryn looked at Sand, her eyes filled with love. "My foolish little bird. You keep flying so close to the sun, and your wings will catch fire."

"They have a legend here, of a bird who is reborn from his own ashes. A phoenix, it is called." Sand smiled again. "Satoshi talks of this bird with great reverence and love. Perhaps I am destined to be a phoenix. Perhaps not. Either way, life is not worth the living if we do not, on occasion, step off the precipice."

Yuji nodded, his smile a fraction stronger. "He used to have a necklace, a small red gold phoenix, with red gemstones set in its wings. I gave it to him after he got out of the hospital after he was burned. We used to say that he was like the phoenix, because he survived that attack. But he lost the necklace. It disappeared the winter before the vacation."

Sand looked at Yuji, and his smile was close to radiant. "That is so very like him, and perhaps we should have another necklace made for him. It would make a wonderful gift for Christmas from you, I think."

Sand's calm confidence that they would be exchanging Christmas gifts made Eryn smile a little as well, and she held tightly to Satoru's hand.

The door to the waiting room opened, and Tanaka walked in, his expression serious. He took a deep breath as he faced the family, watching as they all drew closer together, seeking strength from each other.

Yuji smiled at Sand, nodding at the suggestion, and Sand's confidence bolstered him enough to start believing that Satoshi would be home before Christmas. But when Tanaka walked in to the sitting room, his serious expression made Yuji's heart sink and he crumbled in on himself again, leaning against Sand with a quiet moan of despair. Yuji fisted his hand in Sand's shirt and trembled a little, his eyes filling with sorrow again, his throat working hard to keep his sobs in.

Sand held Yuji close, stroking his back gently as he looked at Tanaka. The doctor bowed deeply to the family before he took another deep breath.

"We've given Satoshi-sama as much of the drugs to awaken him as we dare to give him. Any more, and we can do harm as opposed to helping him," Tanaka said. "I wish I had a reason to give you, but Satoshi-sama is not waking up. He's moved into a true coma, not just one that we induced to let him heal, and I will be honest with you, there is not one single medical reason for him to be in a coma."

Yuji stared up at the doctor while he spoke, utterly still and quiet, his eyes wide. When Tanaka said Satoshi had slipped into a true coma, Yuji moaned painfully and choked a little, sagging against Sand as he lost all the strength he had just gained.

Satoru stared at Tanaka, his lips moving slightly as he tried to form words, but his words eluded him, and large tears spilled from his eyes to roll down his cheeks.

Sand projected a torrent of love and strength to Yuji, his eyes still calm and confident as he nodded slowly

Eryn slipped her arm around Satoru's waist, reassuring her husband gently as she looked at Tanaka steadily. "What do you propose, then?"

Tanaka looked at the petite woman. "We wait a day or so, and see if he shows signs of coming out of this coma. So far, he's breathing well on his own, and I'd like to keep him off the ventilator if possible."

Eryn nodded firmly. "His lungs are not strong, and the ventilator only weakens them more. I concur." Despite her not having any credentials in Japan, Tanaka found Eryn's opinion mattered to him. "Are you thinking of trying another round of the drugs then, or is there something else you have in mind?"

Satoru wrapped an arm around Eryn as well, kissing her shoulder softly as she talked to the doctor. Her confidence and straightforward attitude strengthened him, and he drew in a deep breath to calm himself, forcing himself to think about this logically, and his tears stopped as he focused on the two doctors, listening intently to their words.

Yuji on the other hand clung to Sand with such despair that it was as if Sand was Yuji's last tangible hold on reality, and his own sanity.

Tanaka ran a hand through his hair. "I don't think the drugs would do anything useful. We've seen far too many patients come out of comas like these as suddenly as they slip into them, so I would rather be optimistic. Satoshi-sama is young, and strong, and very healthy, and he has a great many people who care about him." He looked at the family intently. "What you do, spending time here every day, talking to him, letting him know he's not alone? That's the kind of medicine I can't give him, and it might be what brings him back. We'll keep looking for reasons, but in the meantime, do what you've been doing, and believe in him."

Satoru nodded his head decisively, dashing his hand over his eyes to wipe away his tears, and his arm tightened around Eryn, as he answered, "We will. I failed him once before, but this time I'll be here. I'll be here until he wakes up again. And he is not one to give up easily. He is a fighter, he always has been."

Satoru's eyes were bright and his face set with determination, and he even managed a loving smile for his Eryn.

Yuji turned his face towards Sand, and whispered brokenly, "We have to go and get him back. He won't come back on his own. He'll need your guidance."

Sand leaned his head close to Yuji's head, and murmured, "I will go and find him. I need Vale here. Will you arrange that for me?"

Tanaka gave the family a small smile. "Go in and see him. All of you. The nurses know that I'm lifting the restriction on how many of you can be in there at once. I know you'll be sensible."

The family bowed to Tanaka, who bowed back with great respect, and he stepped aside to let them hurry down the hall to Satoshi's room.

Satoru held Eryn's hand tightly as they stood and headed towards the room, but Yuji stumbled when he rose to his feet, his knees refusing to carry him.

Sand held Yuji up, the slim elf surprisingly strong, and he smiled a little at Yuji. "We will do this, my love. I will bring him home, I swear this to you. Be strong for him just a little bit longer, Yuji. I need you to guide me."

Yuji sucked in a sharp breath, and his fists clenched as he forced himself upright, his eyes darkening with his resolve. "I'll suck it up and be strong. I'll guide you, Masato," he said and drew a few forced deep breaths before he turned towards the door.

His hand snaked around Sand's hand, giving it a small squeeze, and he leaned into Sand as they started walking, and he whispered barely above a breath, "Please, don't tell Vale this, but right now, I feel as hopeless and frightened as when I got sick with the cancer last time, and I realized that the chemo wasn't helping."

Sand smiled at Yuji reassuringly. "I will not tell Vale, since I know how he will worry. He will most likely know, but he will pretend not to know if you do not tell him. He is good at that. But please, Yuji, do not despair. Do not let the darkness suck you in. I am sure Vale told you what I did to find Hawk, and I find I am capable of so much more now."

Yuji managed a feeble smile that reached his eyes, and he grew stronger with every step. "I know, even if I often pretend not to know. Vale told me what you did to save Hawk, and I know that you would do the same for Satoshi without the slightest hesitation. I won't despair," he said, squaring his jaw stubbornly with the last statement.

Just before they reached Satoshi's room though, Yuji stopped and tugged Sand to a halt as well, asking him in hushed tones, "I'm sorry for the bad timing, but since you said it... Do you think I hide too much from Vale? Should I rather tell him everything, and never try to shield him from my own messed up head like I do?"

Sand smiled and reached out to cup Yuji's cheek, his blue eyes filled with love. "I have found that hiding anything from Vale when he truly wishes to know is impossible. He has a delicate grace about him, though, and he will not push if he feels you need that privacy. He is truly a remarkable person, and I am grateful every day that he met you, because you bring out all that is beautiful and magnificent and breathtakingly perfect in him."

Yuji blushed faintly, and looked at the floor for a moment to gather himself. "So, I should stop trying to be such an alpha and just trust that he is strong enough to deal with whatever is floating around in my head, huh?" He smirked a little bit, a faint blush coloring his cheeks, and for a moment he looked slightly ashamed of himself. He nodded his head towards the room where Satoshi lay, and he squeezed Sand's hand gently when they started moving again, and whispered to Sand, "You bring out all that is beautiful, magnificent and breathtakingly perfect in Satoshi. And I am grateful that you found him, and he found you. I am even more grateful that I realized my own hypocrisy before I ruined everything for you two."

Sand smiled again, so gentle and loving that Yuji felt himself grow stronger. "You were never a hypocrite, Yuji. I did not treat Satoshi as well as I should have at the vacation, and you were right to be wary. It is that streak of possessiveness in you that makes me trust you with him. I know you will never allow him to be harmed. But I am glad I have proven myself, and earned your trust, and I will continue to earn it in the years to come." Sand tightened his hold on Yuji's hand a bit. "Now, let us go and bring our husband home."

Eryn let go of Satoru, giving her husband a reassuring smile. "Why don't you go in with Masato, my love, and Yuji and I will get some tea for us all. I think Yuji might like a chance to have a cigarette as well."

Yuji gave Eryn a grateful smile, and gave Sand's hand a last squeeze before he let go. "I could use a cigarette, or ten, to help me calm down a little," Yuji said wryly.

"Good. You go raise a cloud, and I'll get tea and meet you," Eryn said briskly, tucking her arm through Yuji's arm.

Yuji managed an impish smile as he walked away with Eryn, and Satoru smiled back at him until Yuji turned away. Then Satoru's smile disappeared and he entered the room, holding the door open for Sand. "Masato-san. We need to talk," he said in a very serious tone, and his eyes darted around the room as if to make sure they were alone.

Once Satoru had looked around the entire room, he turned to Sand, but hesitated and then walked briskly to the sink that was on the wall by the door, and looked quickly at the mirror that hung above the sink. He quickly pulled off his jacket and hung it over the mirror, making sure that the mirror was completely covered. Then he grabbed one of the blankets that lay folded on Sand's chair and hurried into the small bathroom off the room and covered the mirror there with the blanket, closing the door securely behind himself when he came back into the room.

Satoru rubbed his hands together nervously and then he looked at the elf, his eyes dark with worry. "I think I might know why he slipped into a coma," he said, barely above a whisper, and the room suddenly seemed colder than it should be.

Sand had watched the proceedings with growing concern, wondering if this man he had come to think of as a father had given in to the strain of Satoshi's illness. "What do you think might have caused it, otousan?" Sand asked, his blue eyes grave.

Satoru shook his head a little and ran his hand over his face, muttering as he walked up to the bed and stared at his son with great love and sadness in his eyes. "You're going to think I'm utterly nuts, Masato, but I think it was the witch."

Sand looked at Satoru very calmly. "I do not think you are nuts, at all. I intend to walk into Satoshi's very dreams to find him and bring him home, and therefore I hesitate to call anyone nuts. Will you tell me of this witch?"

Satoru looked up at Sand, and saw the utter truth of his words in those blue eyes, and he sighed a little bit, wondering if he had lost his marbles somewhere along the way, but then realized that he'd much rather have this wonderful family and no marbles, than all his marbles and no family. He smiled a little at himself and his utter nonsense, and then he nodded at the elf, drawing a deep breath to center himself. "I saw her here. She was standing by the headboard of his bed, when the doctors were trying to bring him out of the coma. I do not know why she is after him, but I do know that she is the source of the Mori family curse."

"I think Kenji knows more about her history, but I know that she was married into the Mori family many centuries ago, and then her husband shamed her in some way, and she cursed the family. I know that she was the one who tried to drown him when he was one, and again when he was seven. And then Yuji told me that Satoshi had nearly drowned at Kenji's house a few years ago. It can only have been her. It was she that attacked him at your house, and again at my house. She's learned to use mirrors." Satoru looked up at Sand, his eyes pleading with the elf to understand. "I did not say anything then, because I did not want to upset Satoshi more. I have never been good at discussing these gifts that are passed down in our family, and more often than not I have doubted my own sanity, because of some of the things I see. Please forgive me, for being a foolish old man."

Sand nodded, his expression thoughtful. "You are far from foolish, and I know how these things are doubted in your world." Sand smiled briefly and tucked his hair behind one gracefully pointed ear. "I am doubted in your world, and yet here I am. But this explains much. The attacks, at the estate and in your house... I felt a terrible evil, and yet it felt familiar somehow, as if I should know it. It is nothing I have faced before that I can remember, though. But yes, mirrors are a gateway. We know this well, we who use magic." Sand looked at Satoru levelly. "I must ask your forgiveness as well, otousan. We agreed, all of us, that using the magic that comes as easily to me as breathing is wrong, in this world, and so I did not protect Satoshi enough. I should have known that this evil would not give up. Forgive me, for not protecting him."

Satoru reached out to wrap a hand over Sand's shoulder, and his tone was grave when he spoke, but he put a heavy emphasis on his words, a tone that meant that he would not listen to any further argument on the issue. "You protected him as well as you could. From what he told me, you dragged him out of that witch's clutches when she broke his ankle. If that is not protecting the one you love, then I do not know what is. You have given him a love for life that I thought he would never regain, and you have brought him out of a shell that I thought he was lost to forever. If you need to hear me say that I forgive you, then I do forgive you, but I do not agree that you did not protect him."

Satoru sighed and rubbed his eyes a little, and added, sadness lining his voice, "I was the one who failed him. I did not protect him. Not from the evils of the world, not from the monsters that haunted him, nor from his mother, who was perhaps the worst monster of them all."

"I will accept that you forgive me, otousan, and allow that I have tried to protect Satoshi as well as I could within the restrictions the family has agreed on, but you must also forgive yourself." Sand looked at Satoru, his eyes warm and compassionate. "Satoshi loves you, and he has always loved you. Having you in his life again has healed wounds I could not have healed. You believed your wife when she told you what she did, because it seemed logical, and you cannot blame yourself for that. Her soul will pay the price for her misdeeds, as I understand it, and that is justice. But you were blameless, and no more able to see what was so carefully hidden than I was to keep Satoshi from this accident."

"You are right. Satoshi told me you have an annoying habit of doing that," Satoru tried to joke with a wan smile, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "He has healed me too, taking me back the way he has. He is my little fighter, always has been. So, please, do what you need to do, to bring him back to us. I am not sure what you need in order to do this, but I will answer your questions truthfully and as accurately as I can. There are many things that Yuji will probably know better, but I will do what I can. Just bring him back, Masato-san."

Satoru turned back to Satoshi, and then he added in a slightly bitter tone, "Do not tell your mother this, but truthfully, I do sometimes pray that Shizuko is suffering terribly for what she did. Sometimes I pray that her soul is being tortured all day and night to repay her sins, and that she will never finish repaying for what she did to Satoshi."

"As I told Yuji, I will need you to help him run interference with the staff, at least until I have been able to reach Satoshi. I will most likely appear to be sleeping, once that has occurred, and if Akira is here, he can make sure that I am not disturbed. He is also a mage, and can serve as my link here, my way home." Sand looked at Satoru levelly. "I have braved far worse than this, and I will not falter. I will bring him home, I swear it."

Satoru nodded once, his eyes bright again. "I trust you, Masato-san. He is my most precious son, and I trust you with him."

[Sandcastles and Fireworks]

Sand sat in the hard chair, one hand gently stroking Satoshi's hair, his eyes almost never leaving his beloved husband. His blue eyes were slightly red-rimmed from his earlier tears, but he was far calmer after seeing his family. The nurses were in and out frequently, checking the clear bags of fluids that ran into Satoshi's arms, adjusting his monitors, taking his chart and making small notes, and in general looking after Satoshi with great diligence.

Sand did his best to keep out of the way of the nurses as they came and went, but he still managed to remain touching Satoshi at all times. His soft voice never faltered, a steady murmur of encouragement and endearments directed at Satoshi although the nurses noticed that sometimes the quiet foreigner was not speaking Japanese or even English.

A young nurse walked into the room, picking up Satoshi's chart and making notes on it based on his monitor readings. Sand looked at her for just a moment before turning back to Satoshi.

"Oh, saiai, what a pity it is that Kansas's visions are not clearer. I would have held you tight and called the studio myself, and begged Matsu-san and Kohaku-san to understand that I could not risk losing you." Sand managed a small smile, his heart aching. "How very long I lived without you, and how very quickly I have come to know that I cannot live without you now that you have touched my heart. My beautiful husband, with your boundless ability to love a very foolish person whose world exists inside the boundaries of your smile. Lle naa ilya'amin, you are my all."

"Mori-sama?" The young nurse bent over and spoke softly to Sand. "I can sit with your husband if you need to refresh yourself."

Sand looked mildly surprised by the nurse's words, but he found a gentle smile for her. "You are very kind. I think perhaps I will stay here a bit longer, if that is alright. I know that the medications will not permit him to wake, but I still feel the need to be here with him."

"Of course, Mori-sama," the nurse replied. She seemed a little uncertain of how to handle this grave foreigner, with his flawless Japanese and polite manner that did not quite hide a stubborn determination to ignore anything he did not want to hear. "Please remember that you need to take care of yourself as well. You will not be any good to your husband if you make yourself ill." She bowed politely and glided away silently.

Sand watched her for a moment or two, his hand never ceasing its gentle stroking. He turned back to Satoshi, however, unwilling to take his attention away from his beloved imp for long.

"They are quite kind here, saiai," Sand said, his voice soft and tender. "I am very grateful for all the kindness they have shown me. I imagine I am a dreadful nuisance, sitting here like a large and immovable lump, and yet they have not shown me the door."

Sand shifted slightly in the hard chair, looking at Satoshi's pale and peaceful face. "I miss your sweet voice, saiai. I miss your laugh, and I miss the way you say my name. No one can quite make it sound as musical as you do." Sand leaned forward to kiss Satoshi's pale forehead, his skin cool under Sand's lips. "Perhaps, if our Akira comes, I will be able to leave you for a short time, to shower and eat. Or should Yuji or Willow come, I can tear myself away briefly. But it will only be for a fleeting moment, watashi no kokoro, cormamin. Being away from your side holds no appeal for me."

An older nurse entered the room, and paused to check Satoshi's chart, making another small notation. She looked at Sand and arched a brow, and Sand was reminded of Hideko. This nurse would not be as easily dismissed as her younger colleague.

"Mori-sama, you have not moved from your husband's side since he was brought in." The older nurse put her hands on her hips and fixed Sand with a stern look. "This is not good for either of you. There is a shower down the hall that can be used by family members who are staying with patients. Go and shower, and I will have a meal sent up for you. You'll eat every speck, and then you can come back in here."

Sand looked at her calmly. "I have no clean clothing to wear, I am afraid. I seem to have quite ruined my shirt, and I was told that my clothing was potentially infectious." He started to turn his head back to Satoshi.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll get you some clean scrubs to wear." The nurse gestured for Sand to come with her, clearly not about to take no for an answer.

Sand sighed a little and stood, one hand still tangled in Satoshi's hair. "I really would prefer to wait for a family member to be here, to sit with my Satoshi."

"He's not going to wake up, Mori-sama. He will survive thirty minutes without you." The nurse shooed Sand out of the room, walking him down to the shower and handing him clean scrubs, a couple of small towels and a washcloth.

"You remind me quite a bit of my okaasan," Sand said with deceptive mildness. "She is a doctor, and can be quite forceful."

The nurse snorted, not in the least bit intimidated. "Doctors are forceful, but nurses get things accomplished. Things such as making sure I don't wind up with a second patient on my hands. I'm busy enough."

Sand chuckled a little. "I shall endeavor not to become your patient, then." He bowed politely and stepped into the shower room, closing the door and locking it behind himself.

The shower did feel good, and Sand scrubbed thoroughly, washing his hair and rinsing it completely. He chuckled again when he saw the disposable toothbrush, preloaded with toothpaste, that the nurse had tucked in with the scrubs, along with a comb.

Truthfully, it did feel better to be clean, and Sand shook out his hair to let it dry. He wiped the shower clean and took his towels with him as he left, placing them in the hamper outside the shower room. He was about to head back to Satoshi's room when his nemesis intercepted him.

"Ah, Mori-sama, very good." The nurse looked at him with a small smile. "Come with me and we'll get some food into you."

Sand looked at her identification badge. "Tamura-san, I would appreciate being allowed to check on my Satoshi first." He gave her what he hoped was a suitably imploring look, but Nurse Tamura was apparently immune to his charms.

"Your husband is resting peacefully. I checked him not five minutes ago myself." Tamura looked at Sand sharply as he rubbed his right arm, the elf unaware that he was doing so. "The sooner you get a meal in you, the sooner I'll let you back in there. What's wrong with your arm?"

Sand looked briefly startled. "My arm is fine, as you can see." The scrub shirt was short sleeved, and aside from a faint pinkness where Sand had been rubbing, his pale skin was unmarked other than by his tattoo, the beautiful image of Suldanessallar.

"Then why are you rubbing it?" Tamura asked.

Sand replied without thinking. "Satoshi's arm aches there." He arched a brow at Tamura. "I would like to eat and return to my husband, if I could."

"Is that his only pain?" Tamura asked casually, leading Sand into a small dining room that the staff used. There was a meal laid out for him, with containers neatly arranged and chopsticks in their paper wrapper placed alongside the food. A Thermos flask of tea and a small cup were also in place, and Sand seated himself carefully. Tamura had brought soup and rice, and there was a plate of curry that was at least edible, but nowhere near as good as what Satoshi or Vale made.

"It is the worst of it at the moment." Sand poured himself some tea and sipped it with relish. He tucked into his food, eating swiftly although still with impeccable manners, eager to return to Satoshi.

Tamura glanced at her watch, concerned. Satoshi was not due another dose of pain medication for at least two hours, and it was not a good sign if he was uncomfortable this long before the next dose. She was not sure how Sand knew with such certainty, but she did not doubt him. In her years of working in the intensive care unit, she had seen odder things than a spouse being aware of a patient's pain. She would just watch Satoshi closely for now, and see if she could see any signs of discomfort.

Sand finished his soup and rice, and managed most of the curry before he looked at Tamura speculatively. "Have I done well enough?" he asked dryly.

"Not bad," Tamura replied. "I'll grant you that the food here is not all that wonderful, but it's mostly tolerable and it'll keep you alive. Come on, let's get you back in with your husband."

Sand rose so quickly that Tamura blinked, his eyes lighting up at the prospect of returning to his vigil at Satoshi's side. Tamura had seen any number of couples over the years, but the devotion that Sand had shown was extraordinary. He literally resented even thirty minutes away from his husband's side, and Tamura found herself liking the foreigner quite a bit.

Tamura had to try not to chuckle when they returned to the room. She had asked that a more comfortable armchair be brought in for Sand, but he was so intent on Satoshi that he did not notice the new chair at all. In fact, he nearly missed it altogether as he went to sit where the hard chair had been. Sand caught himself at the last moment, his eyes still not leaving Satoshi.

"I am back, saiai. I am sorry I had to leave you, and I will try not to do that again unless Yuji or Willow or Akira is here. I hope you can forgive me, watashi no kokoro." Sand rubbed his arm, his brow furrowing. "But I am back now, and I will be here for as long as you need me."

The morning wore on, and Sand remained in the comfortable armchair, the nurses working around him as he continued to talk softly to Satoshi. His voice was slightly ragged, but he kept up the gentle chatter about their children and their friends and family, the love and warmth in every word evident. Tamura was in regularly to check on Satoshi, and her deft and gentle touch drew a small smile from Sand each time, even when she had to tug Satoshi's chart from his hand, the one that was not stroking Satoshi's hair.

"You don't even know what most of this means," Tamura said, arching a brow at Sand.

Sand shrugged slightly, his voice a bit rough from the constant talking. "Perhaps not, but I can remember what is written and ask my mother or Hideko-chan. They will tell me what these cryptic notes mean for my husband."

"You can ask, you know," Tamura replied a bit sharply. "I'll tell you."

Sand leveled a look that had quelled a Lord of Neverwinter at Tamura, but she did not flinch. "Tell me, then. What do all your obscure scribblings portend?"

Tamura looked at Sand, and her expression softened at the pain that ran through his words. His worry for his husband, and the love he had for the slender man was so enormous that it almost took her breath away, and it made her willing to forgive him his momentary lapse of manners.

"I spoke to Tanaka-sensei about your husband's pain. It was obvious from the various readings we're taking that he was uncomfortable, and you felt he was in pain as well, which does count." Tamura leaned over to brush a wrinkle out of the sheet. "We've increased that pain medication, but I'm counting on you to let me know if it's still not enough. You seem to have a good feel for his state of mind, Mori-san."

"Thank you, Tamura-san," Sand said, and his own expression smoothed out as well. "He is more dear to me than anything, my Satoshi. I feel so lost without him, and there is nothing I will not do to see him well again."

"I'm going off shift now, but I will make sure that our charge nurse, Inoue-san, looks in on your husband regularly." Tamura bowed with great respect, and Sand stood to return the bow with equal respect. "We'll get him well again, Mori-san."

The morning dragged on, and Sand lost all track of time as he watched Satoshi, so deeply asleep and looking curiously peaceful despite the tubes and wires and machines. Somewhere in the distant reaches of his consciousness, Sand was aware of a growing headache from the incessant noise of the machines, but he simply ignored that as irrelevant, his long fingers running through Satoshi's hair and smoothing stray wrinkles from the sheets. Inoue-san had mentioned that wrinkles could become agonizing to those who were bedridden, and Sand was determined to remove all wrinkles that could potentially trouble his Satoshi.

Twice, as Sand fussed and smoothed and talked until his voice was slightly ragged, he felt a small and very distant tug on his bond with Satoshi. It was so faint, and so very tentative, but it kindled an enormous reserve of hope in Sand, and brought back some of the usual sparkle to his eyes. He did not dare reach out through their bond too strongly, but Sand let a delicate trickle of love and hope flow back, trusting that Satoshi might feel that and be strengthened by knowing that he was not alone.

The intensive care unit seemed to operate outside time to a large extent, with the spouses of the patients there all of the time, but a slight increase in activity made Sand aware that visiting hours had commenced. He looked up as an older couple walked past, on their way to another room, and then he spotted a pair of very familiar faces.

"Do you know who has come, saiai? Cho and Kai have come to see you." Sand smiled as they hovered in the doorway, and stood up, walking over to hug them both. "Thank you both for coming. Please come in. Satoshi is being kept asleep for now, to give his body a chance to begin healing, but I do think he knows when people come."

Cho entered the room with her arms wide open, wrapping them tightly around Sand. "I'm so sorry, Masato. We got here as soon as we could. We took the first train out when we got the news. I'm so sorry," she whispered to Sand, unconsciously stroking his hair like a sister would, and then she turned to look at Satoshi in the bed, her arms tightening a little around Sand's shoulders.

"Oh, gods, what a mess." She moaned softly and slipped out of Sand's embrace.

Kai still hovered in the doorway, being careful to keep the curtain between himself and the bed, his dark eyes filled with tears as he stared at Sand.

"Hello, Masato-san. How are you?" Kai asked stiffly, his teeth worrying at his lip, and his hands fisted in his sleeves. There was a tone of anguish in his voice that made it clear just how upset he was.

Sand returned Cho's hug, touching her cheek with brotherly affection. When Cho slipped away to go to Satoshi, Sand held out his arms to Kai.

Kai's eyes brimmed over as he hesitantly stepped into the room, opening his arms a little, silently asking for a hug, and his voice shook terribly. "How bad is he? Is he awake? I don't know if I can do this." Kai trembled hard and sobbed, his tears spilling over.

"I am so very glad that you came, Kai-san. I know how dreadful this all looks, but most of the injuries are broken bones, and the doctors believe that Satoshi will recover. He had only minor internal injuries, as frightful as it seems." Sand touched Kai's cheek with the same gentle affection. "Do you wish to sit a moment?"

Cho stroked Satoshi's hair gently when she came to the bed, her eyes sad as she took in the damage he had suffered. "Look at you, short stuff. How the hell did you manage this? You fucked up your bike too, didn't you? And look at you, all naked like this. Did they take your tongue stud out, too? Don't worry, babe, I brought you a retainer just in case. You better recover soon, though. You can't be stuck here for christmas and new years."

Sand kept his arms around Kai, holding the gentle stylist tightly. "Satoshi is sleeping for now, Kai-san. The doctors want him to stay that way for a week or so, and then they will let him wake up. We will know more then, of course, but I want him home as soon as possible, so for now I will have to be patient and let the doctors do what they must."

Kai nodded against Sand's shoulder, sobbing quietly. "So he's on one of those machines that breathe for him? And is he all plastered up?" Kai asked in a pained whisper, his hands shaking as he eased out of the embrace a little, but not letting go of Sand completely.

Sand nodded. "Yes, the machines are breathing for him, but he is not all that plastered up. They wish to be able to get at my poor Satoshi, although I am sure that he will be plastered up once the doctors are sure things are beginning to heal properly. I will tell you, though, that I am not accustomed to seeing Satoshi without his beautiful piercings. It was quite a surprise to see him so."

Kai shook his head a little, more tears flowing down his cheeks, but he drew a deep shaky breath, and he spoke haltingly. "I need to see him. I'll be strong and not break. I didn't go and see him in the hospital when he got burned, so I must see him now. I just love him so much. He's one of my best friends. This is just so scary."

Kai drew a few more shaky breaths, his whole body trembling, and he clung to Sand's arm as he moved further into the room, bracing himself for the sight that awaited him. When he cleared the curtain, he gasped loudly and trembled, swaying on his feet a little as he grabbed Sand's arm tighter and he whispered, "I need to sit down."

"I know that it is quite alarming, Kai-san," Sand said, easing Kai into the comfortable armchair. "But we must keep up our hope and our courage, for Satoshi's sake, and we will see him well again. I believe that utterly." Sand stroked Kai's hair very softly, like an older brother would. "He loves you as well, Kai-san, you and Cho-san. You are both among his dearest friends, as close to his heart as family."

Kai nodded slightly, tears flooding his cheeks as he stared at Satoshi with wide eyes.

Cho moved closer to Kai and took his chin gently, making him look up at her. Her voice was warm and loving, and her eyes brimming with something that Sand could only interpret as understanding. "Kai. I know this is scaring you, but you need to be strong. Satoshi needs you to be strong, so you can help his family now. You need to be strong and believe that Satoshi will wake up soon. Can you do that for me, my love?"

Kai stared up at Cho, his eyes wide, but his sobs slowed greatly while she spoke. His tears lessened and finally he nodded slowly, and his voice was still trembling, but it was stronger than it had been before. "Yes, Cho. I understand. I can do that. I need to be strong for Satoshi. I can do that."

Kai cleared his throat loudly and rose from the chair, still trembling slightly, but he dared to move on his own. He moved over to the bed and stroked Satoshi's arm lovingly, his other hand stroking Satoshi's hair gently.

Cho moved closer to Sand, stroking his shoulder gently. "I see that they removed all of his piercings, so, I'm guessing they removed the tongue piercing as well."

"I brought a retainer to put in his tongue, to prevent the piercing from closing. It goes into the piercing and keeps it open, but doesn't interfere with the tubes and stuff, and shouldn't get in the way if they have to intubate him again, or something like that. And it shouldn't fall out if he's unconscious." Cho's voice was warm and loving, but her eyes were sad, showing that she was fighting with the longing to cry.

Sand nodded. "They gave all of the jewelry to me. They removed the piercings, but they cut off his rings. I must remember to ask Yuji or Akira to take them to be repaired." Sand looked briefly lost and surprisingly young. "Really, he does not seem the same without his piercings. I know he will be anxious when he wakes, so if you can keep his tongue piercing from closing, he will be happy about that."

Sand shook his head slightly, managing to collect himself a bit, and he stroked Cho's arm gently. "Thank you for thinking about his piercing. Honestly, I am so glad everyone else seems to have their wits about them. I fear mine are quite scattered."

Cho stroked Sand's shoulder, not really noticing that she was doing it, and she tried her best to smile. "They cut his rings? Oh, gods, I doubt that any jeweler will be able to fix that. You will probably need to buy new rings."

Cho dashed her hand over her eyes and tried to smile again, but it looked more like a grimace and she glanced at Kai who was whispering gently to Satoshi. "I think you are allowed to be quite scattered for a while. This is a terrible shock, Masato-san. I know I would not be able to keep my wits about me if something like this happened to Kai. And I'll keep an eye on his piercings for you, and bring more retainers if his lip piercings show any sign of closing. They shouldn't, since he's had them for so long, but you never know."

Sand's smile was warm and grateful, his blue eyes filled with friendship and love. "Thank you, Cho-san. I am so lucky to have the support of friends like you and Kai. I do not think I could manage this without such support. But, I keep in the front of my mind that I need to be strong for Satoshi, that he needs me to stay strong, and I find I can cope if I just remember that."

Sand rubbed his right arm without seeming to notice, his fingers tracing a path up to his shoulder and back down to his elbow.

Cho managed to smile gently this time and moved to wrap her arms around Sand's neck, but then he started to rub his right arm, and she stopped. She stared at the path that his fingers took up his arm, and turning around slowly she looked at Satoshi's right arm, the steel brace looking like some sort of science fiction torture device, where it rose out of his flesh.

"Oh, gods, his koi," Cho whispered and moved around the bed to look closer at Satoshi's arm, her eyes filling with tears again, and Kai nodded slowly.

"I noticed, too. They cut up his tattoo. It's ruined. You think Masa can fix it?" Kai said slowly and Cho shook her head as she reached down to touch a fingertip to the beautiful koi tattoo that adorned Satoshi's arm.

"I don't think even Masa can fix this. He's going to be devastated when he wakes up," Cho said, choking on her tears and Kai nodded, his eyes brimming over again.

Sand looked at them both, his eyes widening in pain as he grew pale. "I had not even thought..." Sand's voice trailed off, his eyes filled with sudden tears.

"Oh, saiai, not your koi. Not your beautiful soul light." Sand's breath hitched, and he slipped into elven without even realizing it. "Amin hiraetha, cormamin. Lle vanima fëame'a. I am sorry, my heart. I am so very sorry."

Kai was closer to Sand and he turned around quickly and grabbed Sand into a hug, as Cho moaned a little bit and finally her tears fell.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Masato. I didn't realize you hadn't noticed. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Cho said as she hurried over to embrace Sand too, and Kai nodded hard.

"I'm sorry, too. I know how much he loves those tattoos. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," Kai whispered, and tried to move Sand over to the armchair to make him sit down.

Sand shivered a little, but he shook his head, his tears wetting his pale cheeks. "No, thank you, my dears. Please do not apologize. There is a great deal that has not quite sunk in yet, and I am sure I will come across such things many more times." He managed a small smile. "You have not upset me or hurt me at all. In fact, I am glad not to have been alone for such a realization."

Kai stroked Sand's back gently, and Cho poured him a glass of water from a bottle that stood on a table by the bed, kneeling by the chair as she handed him the glass. "Perhaps you are right, my friend. It could have been even worse had you realized when you were alone. I still feel terrible to be the one to point it out to you, but I'm also glad that we were here," she said softly and stroked Sand's arm gently.

"Perhaps it will not matter. Perhaps it will be just one more scar to mark a battle won. We both have collected our share of those, my Satoshi and I." Sand leaned over to press his lips to Satoshi's pale forehead. "They only make him more beautiful in my eyes. My brave and enduring Satoshi."

Cho nodded but her lips were set in a stubborn line, her voice determined. "I will contact Masa and tell him what has happened. Then when Satoshi gets better, you can go and see him, and he can tell you if it can be saved or not. I know that he will be more than happy to fix what he can."

Kai cleared his throat softly, and added, "But that's not something to think about now. The tattoo can wait. Now we should all focus on getting Satoshi better, and quickly." He moved to stroke Sand's back again, adding, with a slightly more confident voice, "I'll be here for you, Masato-san, for whatever you need. Satoshi is one of my dearest friends, and I consider you a dear friend as well. So, no matter what you need, do not hesitate to call me. I'll even come here regularly to wash his hair. The shampoo they use here would probably ruin his hair after only a couple of washes."

Later that day, Erion drove Sora and Hawk, and Mist and Santhiel, to the hospital to see Sand and Satoshi. Sora was dismayed over Satoshi's condition, and Hawk held his wife tenderly as she wept bitterly at the sight of her all but adopted great grandson in the hospital bed, small and lost.

Mist went straight to Sand, looking into her younger brother's eyes and demanding that he not hide his feelings from her, and Sand found himself unable to refuse his sister. His tears were scalding as they tracked down his cheeks, Sand whispering his fears brokenly while Mist and Hawk held him.

The rest of the family arrived later in what would become a pattern for their days. Although Kansas needed to work, being too new at his job to take much time off, and Erion could not afford to skip classes, they took that first day off and would come after work and school beyond that. Yuji and Vale were able to cut back their hours at the school, and Maela and Taren helped Willow with the children and the household. Of course, the family from Evereska helped with the children gladly, and Falon especially was an enormous aid to Willow, even Takara falling under his spell.

After Erion had driven the Evereskan family back to the estate, he decided to try and grab a bit of a nap, not having managed much reverie the night before. Kansas was already in their bed, under the covers and sleeping fitfully. Erion stripped quietly and slid into the bed, trying not to make much noise. Kansas had been odd all day, seeming younger than his years, almost lost, and Vale said quietly that he had been sleeping a lot. Erion moved next to Kansas, even the proximity of his imp comforting for the young elf.

Erion slid closer, snuggling up behind Kansas, feeling the warm silky skin of his lover against his own skin. The unique scent that was Kansas filled Erion's nostrils, and he nuzzled his face into Kansas's thick hair, kissing his shoulder gently as he began to settle in.

Kansas mumbled in his sleep, the sound strangely similar to a moan, and he uncurled himself a little bit, scooting backwards into Erion's embrace, pressing his ass back against Erion's groin, his back arching in a seductive way. He arched his neck as well, pushing his shoulder down to offer Erion better access to his neck and shoulder.

Erion nibbled the tender juncture between Kansas's neck and shoulder, his cock thickening as Kansas's ass pressed against him. All the tension and grief and fear of the past two days washed over Erion, and he needed the closeness of his Kansas, and so he ground his cock back into the sweet round ass of his lover.

Kansas mewled softly and pressed back, grinding his ass down on Erion's cock, tiny soft moans escaping him as he undulated his hips, and arched his neck more to offer himself up to Erion. One small hand fisted in the sheets as he did so, the other clenching around the edge of his pillow.

Erion let his hand slide down to cup one sharp hipbone, his cock sliding into the cleft between Kansas's cheeks as Erion reached behind himself for the lube. He nipped and nuzzled the inviting curve of Kansas's neck, lapping gently where he had nipped before nuzzling Kansas's thick hair again.

Kansas arched his back beautifully when Erion's hand wrapped around his hipbone, and let out a small hungry moan. He lifted his leg and wrapped it over Erion's leg, giving the elf better access to him, and at the same time he ground his ass back down against Erion's cock, mewling when it slid over his twitching pucker.

Erion arched his own back a bit, rubbing his sensitive nipples against Kansas as he stroked the tender pucker with lube-slick fingers. Erion carefully pressed one finger in, feeling Kansas tighten slightly and then loosen, and Erion thrust gently before adding a second finger.

Kansas stiffened a little when Erion's finger slipped into his tight pucker, but then he let out a slow breath and relaxed, the same happening when Erion added another finger. Kansas half buried his face in the pillows, arching his back and neck invitingly, those small hungry little moans falling from his lips in an endless stream, in sync with Erion's thrusts.

Part of Erion registered something off about Kansas's behavior, but Kansas pressed back against Erion's cock, and Erion completely forgot what he had been thinking. He quickly slicked his cock with lube, stroking his fingers over Kansas's tight little ass, and then lined his cock up, thinking to press in slowly and tenderly. It had been such an awful couple of days that Erion craved slow, tender lovemaking.

Kansas let his head fall back and he let out a decidedly lascivious moan as Erion breached him. His small hand let go of the sheets and his slender fingers feathered over his own lips, his eyes closed and his lips parted in a beautifully hungry look. Kansas pressed his hips back to meet Erion's slow thrust, but he did not press back hard enough to demand more than Erion was willing to give him. It felt more like Kansas was offering him more, begging Erion with his actions to give him more.

Again, part of Erion registered the odd behavior, but Kansas was warm and delicious and right there, and Erion ached deep inside. Like most elves, Erion found sex soothing and healing, and sex with his beloved Kansas, his husband to be, was exactly what Erion needed. He pressed his hips forward slowly, letting the head of his cock breach Kansas's tight little ass, and it was Erion's turn to let out a wanton moan as he was sucked into the snug heat of that tender ass.

Kansas pushed back to meet Erion's thrust, those hungry little mewls of his changing slightly in pitch when Erion moaned, but then turned back to the original wordless begging. Kansas turned his face back into the pillows, and moved his hips slightly, as if to get accustomed to being filled in such a way. His right hand was fisted so tight around the edge of his pillow that the knuckles shone white through his pale skin.

"I love you, 'lokiamin," Erion murmured, one arm sliding around the slender waist of his lover as Erion slid himself fully into the tight ass. "It'll be okay, baby."

Erion ground himself in a bit, and then withdrew slowly, his cock sliding over Kansas's prostate as Erion withdrew until only the head of his cock remained withing Kansas. Erion slid forward again, slow and easy, setting a languid pace as he nibbled one delicate little ear.

Kansas mewled in rhythm with Erion's slow thrusts, but when Erion whispered to him he twitched a little and his voice hitched. He pressed his ass back to meet Erion's thrusts, his voice strangely disconnected when he whispered into the pillows, "I love this. I love when you fill me up like this. This is so good. This is so good."

Kansas gasped a little, his back arching hard, a gesture that usually meant that Erion had hit his prostate at just the right angle, but Erion knew that he had not done so just now. Kansas's fingers continued to feather over his lips, his tongue peeking out to tease his fingertips, and those hungry little moans sounded more hollow than they had before.

Erion was a young elf, and his body often reacted in ways his conscious mind could not control, but although Erion knew this, he was still appalled by the heat that coiled in his gut even as his mind screamed at him to stop, that something was horribly wrong here. Kansas's moans made it sound like Erion was normally the one to top when they made love, and yet Erion actually was happy to be Kansas's bottom more often than not. The moans sounded more desperate than wanton, and Erion was forcibly reminded of something Momo had told him on the roof, of how Kansas had been taught to beg for more no matter how badly he was being hurt. Erion froze in mid stroke, his heart pounding.

Kansas stopped moaning a moment after Erion froze, and then he let out an almost desperate mewl, pushing his ass back on to Erion's cock, begging in a whiny little voice, "Don't stop. Please, don't stop. I want you. It's so good. Please, give me more. Please. Don't I feel good? Fuck me, I need you so bad."

Kansas stopped touching his lips and reached behind himself to tug on Erion's still hip, his round ass pressing back on Erion's cock, withdrawing and pressing back, with small shallow movements.

Erion's eyes widened, the little litany a complete parody of desire, but Kansas's ass was tight and sweet, and the familiar scent of his lover in his nostrils, the feel of Kansas around him and against him, combined to push Erion past the point of being able to stop, the shallow thrusts making his balls tighten painfully. Erion gasped and muffled a small sob in Kansas's shoulder, his traitorous body demanding release, and Erion reached around to try to stroke Kansas's cock.

Kansas bucked his hips and his small hand wrapped around Erion's slender fingers as they wrapped around Kansas' cock. He was not fully hard, but hard enough to seem aroused, and he mewled desperately as he started stroking himself with Erion, guiding the elf's hand a little, his cock jumping to full attention as if on cue.

"You want me to come for you, lover? You want me to spill myself into the sheets for you?" Kansas whispered between moans, his hips bucking constantly to try and slam his ass down on Erion's cock.

Erion choked back another sob, his eyes brimming, and he was glad he was behind Kansas. Much to his own surprise, his voice was reasonably controlled as he murmured, "Come with me, 'lokiamin. My love, my sweet dragon, like we always do. Come with me." He thrust, still keeping his steady pace, not wanting to pound into Kansas with his usual abandon.

Kansas's moans faltered for a moment, and then he gently peeled Erion's hand away from his cock, mumbling into the sheets as he bowed his head until his chin was almost touching his chest, "If that's what you want. I can do that." Then he wrapped his hand around his own cock and stroked it hard and fast, bucking his hips in a way that would make Erion slide hard over his prostate in every thrust.

Kansas shivered slightly as he stroked his own cock, picking up on those little panting mewls again, and then he whispered, "Let me know when you want me to come."

Erion's ball were beyond painful at this point, but a small voice in the back of his mind screamed at him as Kansas's sweet voice and his tight little ass sent two horribly conflicting messages to him. There was little else Erion could do at this point. Kansas was fully lost in some sort of terrible flashback, and if Erion rejected him now, he could hurt Kansas worse than if he played along. Sucking in a ragged breath, and hoping it would pass for lust, Erion murmured, "Come for me, baby. Come now."

Kansas slammed his face into the pillows and let out a small scream of faked pleasure, his hand stroking his cock hard and fast, and then his tight little ass clamped down around Erion's cock, spasming as Kansas shuddered and moaned into the pillows. He stroked his cock as if to milk every last drop from himself, but since they were still under the covers Erion could not see anything.

As Kansas moaned through the last of his forced orgasm, he brought his hand out and made a small show of licking his fingers, the small pale digits smeared with what looked a bit like small amounts of precum, and very little actual cum.

"Fill me up, lover. Please, I want to feel you fill me up." Kansas moaned as he licked the nearly clear liquid of his fingers, eyeing Erion out of the corner of his eye, but the passion there was empty and meaningless, his eyes pale grey and utterly lost.

Erion came, his balls emptying as he filled Kansas's ass with his hot cum, and Erion choked back the bile that rose in his throat as he thrust a few last times, his heart aching as his eyes burned with the tears he did not dare shed just yet, hoping that Kansas would mistake them for tears of pleasure. He felt utterly unclean, as if he were the most vile creature to have ever existed, and yet he knew that he had intended only healing and solace. Kansas moaned and ground against him, the feigned passion and lust carving bloody runnels in Erion's heart, and the young elf shuddered as his orgasm finally faded, his now flaccid cock sliding out of Kansas's trembling body.

Erion's voice was thick with tears. "You were perfect, baby. That was just perfect. We can cuddle now, if you want. Just cuddling, no more touching, okay?" Erion looked up, and in the dim light of the room, the faded blue streak looked lost in the pale silver moonbeam that wrapped around it.

Kansas shivered when Erion's cock slipped out of his ass, and he nodded his head slowly, mumbling, "I did good? I was good? Thank you. I would like to cuddle." Kansas buried his face in the pillows as his legs pulled up and he curled up again, pressing his back against Erion's chest, his small hands fisting in the covers to pull them up to his nose. A small shiver ran through him again, and his back heaved a little, much like it did when he cried. Tiny soft sobs were drowned in the pillows, so low that no human could ever have heard them.

"It's alright. We don't ever have to do that again," Erion said softly, and he wrapped his arms around Kansas. "We can just cuddle, and when they ask me, I'll tell them that you are perfect. You'll be safe here, I promise." Erion's tears scalded his skin as they spilled over, his ears filled with the barely audible sobs of his trembling lover. "No one will hurt you here. I won't let them."

Erion offered up a prayer to the Seldarine, begging them to forgive him for what he had done this night, in his ignorance. The elven words spilled out, a silvery torrent in the still of the room.

Kansas nodded his head slowly, and mumbled between his silent sobs, his voice drowned in his tears, "I like to cuddle. You're so warm and kind."

"I want to sleep now. Can I sleep now?" Kansas asked, his voice taking on a slightly childish tone, and he shivered hard in Erion's arms, utterly exhausted.

Erion gathered Kansas close, cradling the shivering imp in his arms with tender love. "Sleep, my sweet love. I'll watch over you and keep you safe. Amin hiraetha, 'lokiamin. Amin mela lle." His eyes were a dark and stormy grey as he held his Kansas close, counting each breath the imp took, reverie a distant thought.

Kansas shivered for a long time, his sobs continuing even after he fell into a deep sleep, a sleep of utter and complete mental and physical exhaustion. After a long while his sobs finally stopped and he began to breathe normally, the rhythmic breathing of heavy sleep, one without dreams or nightmares, but whether it was healing remained to be seen.

As for Erion, he let one slim hand stroke Kansas's thick hair as he watched the moon's shadow crawl across the ceiling of the room, cold and distant. At one point, he heard the door open, and saw Vale peer in. Erion was reasonably sure that Vale could tell that Erion was not in reverie, but the gentle sun elf said nothing, merely crossing the room to leave a couple of bottles of sweet tea on the nightstand before leaving as silently as he had come.

For the first time since the night he had parted with Momo, Erion greeted the dawn with dread.

[DINOSAURS]

::offers JD a mint julep:: Really, it's probably the best thing about Kentucky aside from the Derby itself.

[A vaguely irritating email exchange...]

This calls for speculation... I vote cum gum...

[Sandcastles and Fireworks]

Erion scrambled up the last few feet, perching on the roof of the tower with a small sigh. The solitude and the height soothed Erion, and he let himself cry for a bit, the sight of Satoshi still vivid in his mind. His gentle husband had looked so lost among the machines and tubes and metal, and the sight of Sand keeping vigil hurt even worse. Yuji and Kansas were so stricken that Erion barely recognized them, and Vale had his hands full, the blond elf and Willow holding the family together as best they could. Erion had been trying to help, looking to Vale and Willow to see what he could do, but it was getting harder for Erion as Kansas fell apart in front of him.

Well, mostly in front of him, when Kansas was not busy pushing him away, Erion thought, and then hated himself for the thought. He knew that the history between Satoshi and Kansas was complicated, and far darker than either had let on to Erion, and for the most part, Erion simply accepted the bond between his two loves and cherished them both. Now, though, Satoshi was badly hurt, Kansas was a stranger, and Erion felt very alone and young and useless, his grief overwhelming.

Erion heard someone else scrabbling up the tower, and he looked up as Momo appeared, a little pale, but swinging up next to Erion gamely.

"What are you doing up here, Momo?" Erion asked, his eyes wide as he tried to wipe away his tears quickly. "I'm okay, just wanted to get some air."

"There's no fucking air down there?" Momo retorted, but his voice was warm and caring, and Erion felt a small easing of the iron bands around his chest. Momo threw an arm around Erion and pulled him into a slightly awkward hug, the other hand holding on firmly to the tower. "I was a little worried about you, Yuki."

Erion leaned into the hug, grateful. "It's just easier for me to think up here."

"You're fucking nuts, you know that?" Momo groused amiably.

Erion ducked his head. "People keep telling me that. But thanks, Momo. Having you and Sadao here really helps." He paused. "Lucky bitch."

Momo yelped a little and laughed. "What? You coveting my man, you little nympho?"

Erion snickered a little. "You mean my incredibly hot sempai, who beats the shit out of me weekly?" he asked innocently. "I'm just saying you're a lucky bitch. Almost as lucky as Yori-san."

"You are so fucking nuts, Yuki," Momo laughed. "Ishikawa-sempai? Really?"

"Have you seen him in the shower?" Erion countered. "For an older guy, he is amazingly hot. Yori is a super-lucky bitch."

"I thought I was the one with the older guy fetish," Momo snickered.

Erion laughed, and it was a real laugh, silvery and bright. "Ishikawa-sempai is actually older than me. I guess I'm branching out from my younger guy fetish."

Momo roared with laughter and Erion felt some more of the pain ease. He leaned back into the hug a little more, feeling nothing but love for this cherished friend, closer than most thanks to their history. They sat in silence for a minute, and finally Momo spoke again.

"You sure you're okay, Yuki?" Momo's voice was so gentle that Erion felt his throat close.

"Honestly? No, I'm not okay. I'm scared to death for Satoshi, Masato's a fucking ghost at his side, and Yuji and Kansas are in another world." Erion closed his eyes, trying to will himself not to cry again. "And on top of it all, I'm having this incredibly selfish fucking little meltdown because Kansas isn't turning to me for support."

"He's got a lot of shit in his head," Momo said. "Ryo and I, we probably know more than anyone except Satoshi about what Kansas's life was like. That's why Ryo knows how to calm him down."

"I know Kansas has dark places," Erion said, and his voice was so forlorn that Momo had to bite back a small sob of his own. "I know that I'm never going to be able to be enough for him. Fuck, I've always known about his bond with Satoshi, and I've never tried to get between them. I don't mind it. It's just that I turn to Kansas first when I'm hurting, and he turns to everyone but me lately."

"Yuki, don't do this to yourself," Momo said, his voice very gentle. "Don't say you're not enough."

Erion turned to look at him, a single tear tracking down one cheek, silvery in the dim light. "Sometimes I think it would have been better if I could have stayed with you." Erion sucked in a ragged breath. "I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can handle being pushed away when he's hurting. Maybe I'll never be what he fucking needs me to be. Maybe he should have let me die, back home."

"Don't say that!" Momo's voice was fierce. "Don't ever say that, Yuki. Kansas would never let you die."

"If he thought he knew better, if he thought he could just push me into what he thought was best?" Erion shrugged a little, his voice very soft. "I don't know anymore. He thought he was saving me when he nearly killed me. He had one of his visions, that I was going to die with him in a car accident, so he told me that he didn't love me, that we should end it between us. We had just become lovers, but I already knew that he was the one. I tried to get him to change his mind, but he kept insisting that I'd find someone else, that I'd love again."

Erion sighed deeply. "It only took two days for me to be so close to death that I could see Arvandor. I was walking towards it when I heard someone pleading with me to wait for Kansas, that he was coming for me, so I stopped for a little bit. And he did come, and here I am, sitting on a roof with you and wondering if this time will be the time I keep going. I'm not quite as young as I was, and I won't fade away in two days like I did then, but I can't do this indefinitely."

Momo growled slightly and grabbed Erion around the arms and shook him a little bit, the violence of the movement making them slide a little down the roof, but Erion braced his hands and feet on the tiles of the roof with a small shout.

Momo breathed harshly for a few moments, but his voice shook with anger when he spoke. "If that's what you think, then why don't we just jump off the roof right now? Come on, let's jump and kill ourselves, the two of us. The fall is high enough to kill us. Then you don't have to think about it anymore, and Kansas can just keep going the way he is, and then die when he realizes that you gave up and died yourself."

Momo braced his bare feet on the tiles of the balcony roof, and turned Erion around harshly to look the little elf in the eyes, his dark brown eyes dark with pain. "If you know how deep their link is, then you should understand why Kansas is so lost right now. It's fucking selfish of you not to understand that. Do you even know what happened that night?"

Erion flinched a little bit, but his voice did not waver. "He's never told me. He's never told me anything except that Satoshi found him at that mansion, and bought him. I know that what he lived through was incomprehensibly vile, and that he'll always have that darkness in his soul. But he's never told me any details." Erion twisted free of Momo's grip. "I don't need you to tell me I'm selfish. I already said I was, but I'm not selfish enough to take you with me and hurt Sadao. I don't want to fucking die, Momo. I have no fucking desire to die, but I'm bound to Kansas in ways I can't explain to you, and if he pushes me away hard enough, I don't get a choice."

Momo's nostrils flared as he forced himself to calm down, and he licked his lips slowly as he let out a slow breath. "I'm sorry. I thought he had told you everything."

Erion stood, impossibly graceful, and moved further up the roof. "If you know what happened, tell me. I'm tired of being left to guess, and I'm tired of being expected to know how to behave when I have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do or not do."

Carefully Momo crawled after the elf, further up on the roof that covered the south facing balcony, and pulled Erion into his arms, pushing the elf's thighs over his own thighs, so they were facing each other, and Erion was suddenly vividly reminded of the times they used to sit like this, naked in bed, and explore each other's bodies, when they had first started being together.

"Kansas still tells Satoshi that he can't remember that night. He pretends to have forgotten, but he remembers every single detail. Vividly. You know how Satoshi first saw him at that mansion and when Kansas responded to Satoshi's guitar playing, Satoshi started bringing pocky sticks and started paying attention to Kansas? And how Kansas's owner noticed and then started talking to Satoshi about his pretty little puppy?"

Erion nodded his head slowly, his eyes widening a little, and Momo continued.

"And you know how that guy negotiated with Satoshi about the price, and how Satoshi had to pretend like he was the same as that man? He had to pretend like he wanted Kansas for sexual pleasure, and that he was too lazy to raise a little puppy himself, and that was why he wanted to buy Kansas. Kansas's owner told Satoshi, in front of Kansas, that Kansas was getting too old, and needed to be put down, but Satoshi said he liked his puppies a little older. Once, they were sitting in that guy's office, and he ordered Kansas to give Satoshi a blow job. Kansas told me that he had never in his life worked so hard to get someone excited, and that Satoshi had fought against letting himself enjoy it the whole time. Kansas was so scared that his owner would not let Satoshi buy him, and that he'd end up being put down, like all the puppies before him."

Momo's voice wavered and he fell silent, a small tear trickling down his cheek. He cleared his throat and lit up a cigarette with a tiny tremor in his hand, his voice low and filled with sorrow when he continued. "That night, when Satoshi finally bought him… Kansas says saved him, but Satoshi always either says, bought him or brought him home, depending on who he's talking to."

Momo stared out over the estate spread out below them, and for a moment there was a wave of sorrow and pain that washed out of him, as clear as if he shared a bond with Erion, and the slender elf moved a little closer, suddenly afraid that Momo would jump off the roof, with or without him.

"That night, Kansas's owner brought him into the city. That guy had a nightclub downtown, and he brought Kansas there, and Satoshi came there, with every single yen that he owned. Three million yen. That's all he was worth. Satoshi sold one of his guitars, he sold his old bike, and he even pawned one of his brand new guitars. That wicked cherry red and black one, that he used on the tour. He emptied out every single bank account that he owned, and he even asked Yuji for the money he had in their joint bank account. Then he went down to that night club alone and brought the money, in cash. Can you imagine that? Showing up with a suitcase of cash, like that? And he didn't tell Yuji where he was going or why he needed the money. He could easily have been killed and then fished out of the river two weeks later, and Yuji never would have known."

Momo stubbed out his cigarette and lit up another, licking his lips and silently wishing he had brought something to drink. "The bastard who owned Kansas had his thugs with him, and he insisted that Satoshi fuck Kansas right there, in the office, in front of them. He told Satoshi that he had started to doubt Satoshi's intentions with Kansas, and that he wanted proof that Satoshi intended to use Kansas for the right purpose. But Satoshi refused, and said that he couldn't perform with an audience, that he wasn't buying Kansas for their pleasure but his own. And they beat him. They beat him to a bloody pulp, right there in the office, and Kansas had to sit there on the floor, just watching, being splattered with Satoshi's blood, while they beat him almost senseless. And yet Satoshi always refused."

Momo shivered and tugged Erion closer, looking the little elf in the eyes, and cupping his cheek gently.

"When Satoshi fought to his feet for the third time, and still refused to fuck Kansas, one of the guards went and said something to Kansas's owner, and the owner said that since Satoshi wouldn't do it, then he should see exactly what he was buying. And the guards took Kansas and threw him onto a pool table that was there, and then they took turns fucking him. They took him so hard that he bled, and the one that enjoyed torturing him the most, this guy with a nasty scar on his face, he took pool balls and shoved them up Kansas's ass, one by one, and then used his fist to fuck Kansas. And all the while they forced Satoshi to watch."

Momo stopped and cleared his throat loudly, spitting out the bile that rose in his throat onto the tiles of the roof, and his voice was raw when he continued.

"Kansas didn't cry, even though there were tears pouring down his face. He moaned and begged for more the entire time, like he had been taught to do. And he looked Satoshi in the eyes the whole time. Finally the guy with the scar made Kansas kneel on the floor and blow him, all the while those fucking pool balls were falling out of his ass, covered in blood, and there was a pool of blood under him. I fucking threw up when he told me that. Then after the guard came down Kansas's throat, they picked him up and threw him across the room so hard that he bounced off the wall, and they kicked him around the room like a fucking rag doll. And you know what he said to me? He said he was used to it. Only then did they let go of Satoshi, and Satoshi took his jacket, wrapped Kansas in it, and carried him out to his car, and drove home, even though he could barely see shit, because his eyes were almost swollen shut and his glasses were broken."

Momo fell silent again, and hung his head, leaning his forehead against Erion's for a few moments, and a tear fell from his lashes, landing on Erion's hand, hot and silver in the moonlight.

"Kansas told me that he barely remembers the car ride home, but he does remember Satoshi's hand reaching out to touch his arm, and his shoulder, and his cheek, and Satoshi's voice, whispering to him the whole way, that he was safe now, that he would never be harmed again. That voice was the only reason Kansas did not die in the car. He clung to life, just because Satoshi kept whispering to him that he was safe."

Erion looked at Momo, his silver eyes dark with pain. "How does someone live through that and be as sane as Kansas has managed to be?" He shivered violently, trying to push back the bile that rose in his throat. "Oh, Seldarine, Momo, I'm such a fucking asshole."

Momo shivered at the pain in Erion's eyes and pulled the elf even closer, almost onto his lap. "I don't know. Kansas has something inside of himself, some place where he could hide, so it felt like all of that shit was happening to someone else. But trust me when I tell you this, it's a miracle that Kansas can love at all. And it's an even greater miracle that he can love you as much as he does. You are his entire world, Yuki. He loves you the same way Kageoshi loved me. But you see, he owes that miracle to Satoshi."

Momo looked into Erion's eyes, pouring all of his conviction into his words. "It was Satoshi who made Kansas into a real boy. Kansas genuinely believed that he was a puppy, that he was an animal. And Satoshi fought him, for weeks, to make Kansas understand that he's human. Satoshi literally turned Kansas into a real boy. Kansas owes Satoshi his very existence."

"Kansas's world, in a way, is Satoshi. So, just the thought of Satoshi dying, or being lost like he is now, it means the end of the world to Kansas. It's not because you aren't enough, because you are more than enough, a thousand times over. It's because Satoshi turned Kansas into a human being."

"And I'm an idiot, a self-centered little brat who's worried about nothing." Erion's tears fell freely down his cheeks. "Oh, fuck me, Momo, what have I done? Have I pushed him away now?"

Erion started to try to stand. "Even if I'm not enough, I'm what he's chosen, aren't I? So, maybe I need to stop thinking so much and just let myself feel." He made a face. "Of course, that's what always gets me into trouble. I'm sorry, Momo. I'm sorry I upset you, and made you tell me this. I'm sorry for being such an idiot, but most of all, I'm sorry for not understanding sooner."

Momo grabbed Erion's arm, pulled him down again and held him close, stroking his back.

"You're not an idiot, or a self-centered brat. You're just young and inexperienced. From what okaasan's told me, and from what you've told me, elves can't understand this kind of violence. Hell, we humans barely can, but it's there. We know it's there, and even if we are shocked by it, and scarred by it, we move on from it. But you're both young and you don't comprehend it. And no. You haven't pushed him away. You can never push him away. He told me about his death vision once, and he told me that he was so grateful that Satoshi was never with him in that car. He did not push you away in Evereska out of fear, but out of love. He accepted that he would die young, a long, long time ago, so can you imagine how hard it must have been for him to think that you would die beside him in that accident?"

"I can't imagine living with that, with what Kansas went through. We know that sort of evil exists. It's why we hunt orcs and other scum. They do things like that for pleasure, and we kill them. But the thing is, an elf couldn't live if that was done to them. We can't handle certain things that humans can. We can die from words, for fuck's sake, never mind that kind of torture and rape. So I have to agree that it's a miracle that Kansas is as sane and whole as he is." Erion shivered again.

Momo cupped Erion's cheek, his other hand unconsciously slipping into Erion's hair, and he leaned in, his eyes dark.

"Kansas loves you more than he loves life. He cannot live without you, Yuki. You are his everything. Just look at the way he looks at you, when he thinks you're not looking at him. Just feel the way he holds you, when he's loving you. Feel the way he kisses you."

Momo leaned in a little more, and pressed his lips softly against Erion's, his tongue poking out to lick at Erion's upper lip, his teeth catching on the plump lower lip, and then he pressed in a little harder, his tongue demanding entry.

Erion's eyes widened in surprise as Momo began to deepen the kiss, and he froze, not sure if he should pull back or if that would make things worse. Almost without thinking, Erion's lips parted, letting Momo kiss him, and Erion's hand crept up to tangle in Momo's hair.

Momo's arm wrapped around Erion's waist and pulled him onto Momo's lap, Momo deepening the kiss even more, and then his hips bucked, pressing his thickening cock against Erion's groin.

Momo rolled over and pinned Erion down on the roof, one hand fisting in the silver hair, while the other hand slid down Erion's body to tug at his belt, the bulge in Momo's jeans pressing down against Erion's groin.

Erion's hips bucked upward, his own cock hard and eager. All the words that had been on the tip of Erion's tongue fled, and he just let the contact with Momo soothe his aching heart even as his body responded hungrily.

Momo moaned into the kiss, his fingers tugging eagerly at Erion's belt until it fell open, and then the buttons on his jeans popped open one by one, Momo's callused hand sliding into Erion's underwear to cup his cock. Momo growled a little as he moved his mouth to nibble on Erion's ear tip, "Turn around. I want to fuck you."

Erion's eyes widened suddenly, and he shivered as he realized what they were doing. "Momo, we can't do this, oh fuck, we can't do this."

Momo froze, his fingers tight around Erion's cock, and his eyes were wide as he lifted his head to stare down at Erion.

From the second floor balcony of the main house below them, Sadao's voice floated up as he greeted Vale and Yuji, where they sat on the balcony outside their bedroom. "Hey. Have you seen Mamoru? He said he was going to go to the garden to talk to Yuki-san, but I went to the garden, and didn't find them."

Momo stared into Erion's eyes, his own eyes filling with tears as he pulled his hand away and rolled off Erion, moaning softly. He wrapped his arms around himself and bit the knuckle of his thumb to stop himself from keening, his tears trickling down his cheeks as he shook his head. "Oh, fuck. What did I do?" he moaned barely above a breath, and started to shiver.

Erion reached out to grab Momo's chin firmly, forcing Momo to look at him. "You didn't do anything. We didn't do anything. We stopped, Momo. That man down there, he's worth a thousand of me, and you know that already. This was just grief and pain and what Masato would call life insisting on being lived."

Erion managed a small smile. "Straighten yourself out, and I'll do the same, and we'll go down there. You go hug that man of yours, and I'll go find mine, and maybe we can both figure out how we're going to get Satoshi through this."

Momo sobbed a little bit, his whole body shivering as he forced himself to regain control of himself, and then he blinked his eyes slowly, his hands digging out his cigarettes and lighting up two at a time, he handed one to Erion, his voice only the slightest bit wobbly.

"I'll need to tell Sadao I kissed you. I'll tell him it was just grief and pain, but it can't happen again. It can never happen again, no matter how much I still love you. And you also know that Kansas is worth a million of me."

Erion smoked the cigarette, his eyes sad. So much he had never understood was clear now, and he finally realized that Kansas really had thought that Erion could walk away, back in Evereska, when they had first met. The twenty years they could have had were nearly traded for a handful of nights, but Adalon had stepped in, and Erion was not going to throw that away. Whatever it took, he would find a way to hold on, to simply refuse to consider anything else.

Momo took a couple of drags of his cigarette, his eyes drifting over the dark grounds of the estate, as he listened to Sadao walk back down the wooden balcony that surrounded the main house. Once the footsteps had rounded the far corner, Momo looked at Erion and asked him quietly.

"Do you know what it's like to actually love your brother?" He chuckled and shook his head. "Fuck, of course you do. Of course you love Tetsuo with everything that you are. But you know, for me. This is the first time I love my older brother. Kenta is a fucking pig who isn't worth the air he breathes, and Daisuke isn't much better. Although I do love him, but it's more just out of duty than anything else. He's my baby brother. I can't help it. But Satoshi…"

Momo stopped and forcefully suppressed a sob, his eyes spilling over with tears again.

"Satoshi's something different. I love him. I fucking look up to him, and I want to be like him. I strive to be as good as him, every day. And I love to see tousan look at me the same way he looks at Satoshi. That's such a new feeling for me, that this whole thing it's tearing me up inside. And seeing Kansas the way he is right now, it's killing me inside. So, I can sort of imagine how hard it must be for you."

Erion took another deep drag on the cigarette. "Yes, I love Tetsuo, and I'd fucking kill anyone that hurt him. But how do you kill a stupid fucking accident, how do you fight just being in the wrong fucking place at the wrong fucking time?" Erion dragged his hand across his eyes. "I can't even begin to think of losing Satoshi, and if Kansas dies, I die. It's not a choice anymore. Kansas and I are bound that tightly to each other." Erion took a shuddering breath. "I'll talk to Sadao as well, and ask his forgiveness. You were trying to do me a good turn, and the kiss is never going to happen again, no matter how much I still love you."

Momo tugged Erion closer, and kissed the side of his head, breathing deeply of the fragrant silver hair.

"You might want to close your pants before you talk to Sadao, though. When did you start wearing those striped girly pantsu?"

Erion looked down and blushed a little as he buttoned his pants. "Kansas thinks I look fuckable in them, and they don't squash me as much as boxers."

Momo grinned, and kissed the back of Erion's neck lightly. "Well, they're not exactly my thing, but you do look very fuckable in them."

Momo ran his hand into Erion's hair and scratched the back of his head a little, clearing his throat as he asked, "So. Did I help you at all? I mean, with understanding Kansas's bond to Satoshi? What Satoshi means to him?"

Erion nodded slowly. "There's a lot that makes sense now, that didn't before, so yes. I don't think I really grasped exactly how awful Kansas's life was before Satoshi, or how much Satoshi was willing to do to save him. But you see, that heart of his, that's why I can't help but love Satoshi, too. It might not quite kill me to lose him, but it'll kill Kansas."

Erion reached up to cup Momo's cheek. "Thank you. Thank you for telling me, and for not hating me for being selfish and stupid."

Momo cupped Erion's cheek and planted a quick chaste kiss on Erion's lips and rested his forehead against Erion's. "Stop calling yourself stupid and selfish and all that shit, or I swear I will fuck you through the roof, just to make a point. You are a loving, caring, devoted lover, who just happens to be young and a little inexperienced in the ways of love. It'll come, Yuki. I mean, for fuck's sake, I needed you to teach me how to love, so stop putting yourself down like this."

Erion smiled, and this time the smile reached his eyes. "Thank you, Momo. I'll try to remember that."

Momo wiped his hands on his thighs, and sat up a little straighter, eying the edge of the roof where he had climbed up, and his voice hitched ever so slightly as he slid extremely slowly down on the roof.

"Kansas will start to get better soon. He's just wrapping his head around this. Once he's had time to calm down, he'll be alright. Just love him with all your heart and be there for him. And if he hits you, hit him back, no matter how hard it is for you. It breaks Ryo's heart every time he has to do it, but he's the only one of us who's able to do it."

Erion stood with that careless grace of his, walking almost casually to the edge of the roof. "I don't know if I can hit him like that. I have trouble hurting him, which may present a small problem, but I'll deal with it." He cocked his head at Momo as he scooted. "You need a little help getting back down?"

Momo frowned up at Erion with a comical pout, and harrumped at the elf. "You know I'm scared shitless of heights, you cunt."

Momo craned his neck to look over the edge and squeaked a little bit as his eyes widened and he moved back up on the roof, looking around for another way down.

"How are you with dark and shadowy places?" Erion asked. "I know a sort of shortcut, if it won't freak you out too much."

Momo stared up at the elf with a dubious look, and grumbled a little bit as he answered, "Hey, just because I've got a problem with the space under my bed, you don't need to make fun of me. I'm not some scared-of-nothing elf, so give me a break. What kind of short cut is it?"

Erion grinned a little. "Who says I'm scared of nothing? Have you driven with Masato in his fucking Rolls when he decides to open it up? It's sort of a sidestep through a shadow plane. No more than sixty seconds, tops. We step into a shadow, down a short hall and through a door, and we can be in the garden."

Momo stared up at Erion, as if he had completely lost his mind, but then he held out his hand to the young elf and shrugged, his voice dubious, "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"Cool!" Erion enthused. "No one ever wants to do this with me." He took Momo's hand as a very thick shadow began to form next to him, so black that it seemed to absorb light.

"We just step into the shadow, like a doorway," Erion explained, and tugged Momo through. It was very dark for a moment, and then they emerged into a dimly lit hallway, with wood paneled walls and wood plank floors. There were doors lining the hall, and Erion led Momo past several doors before stopping and opening one. He tugged Momo through the door, and into the garden of the estate, back where Santhiel liked to hide to smoke his joints, and where Erion had first talked to Momo about being together.

"That wasn't too bad, was it?" Erion asked a little anxiously.

Momo blinked a little as they emerged in the garden, and his hand tightened around Erion's. "We're really in the garden. We didn't like, fall off the roof and die or anything. We just walked through a shadow, and ended up here?" Momo's voice was very calm and matter of fact, but his eyes were wide with disbelief.

"If it's any consolation, most elves can't do that. It's something star elves can do, because we're more attuned to shadows than most elves. But yeah, we walked through a shadow to a little pocket plane of mine that takes me where I need to be. I don't do it a lot, but I didn't want you to fall and get hurt." Erion's eyes grew slightly dark. "I don't think I could stand it if you got hurt, too."

Momo wrapped his arms around Erion and kissed the top of his head, and laughed a little. "I think your crazy is finally rubbing off on me. That was sort of cool. And I won't get hurt, Yuki. I promise. If I do, you have my permission to spank me."

Erion looked relieved. "Yeah, well. I may have to check with my ass-kicking sempai before I can spank you. He may want to reserve that job for himself." He grinned cheekily. "I'll be busy avoiding my father if I abuse my pocket plane, though, and trust me, he makes Sadao look gentle."

Momo laughed and then made a small sexual growl at Erion, as he teased, "Oh, fuck, I forgot to try and seduce your dad before I went after Sadao."

Erion let out a whoop of laughter. "And you think I'm a nympho?"

"Hey, I worked hard to teach you everything you know." Momo whooped back and pinched Erion's nipple through his shirt.

"He knows you're a nympho, and have you been shadow-hopping all over the place?" Santhiel emerged from a corner of the garden, and Erion let out a small scream.

Momo let out a small scream of his own, and his arm tightened around Erion's neck hard enough to choke the elf as he whipped around.

"Atar! Fuck!" Erion squeaked, trying to loosen Momo's arm, and hearing his uncle Hawk's laughter from behind Santhiel. "We were on top of the tower and it was the safest way down."

Santhiel sighed. "Just be careful, alright? There are things that watch the shadows."

"You said that to someone who's Sulandorn AND Iradil?" Hawk snorted. "Not a fucking chance, Santhiel."

Momo bowed deeply, his voice a little squeakier than usual, his arm still tight enough around Erion's neck to force Erion into a bow as well. "I'm sorry, Santhier-sama, it's my fault, I'm scared of heights."

Santhiel looked and Momo and bowed back. "And you followed my elder son up the side of a tower, Mamoru-san? I call that friendship above and beyond the call of duty. Next time, let the little idiot play eagle by himself." Santhiel arched a brow at Erion, who looked utterly unrepentant. "There was someone looking for you two."

"Sadao?" Momo said, a small spasm of shame flickering over his face, but then he bowed at Santhiel again, letting go of Erion before he did so. "I go where my friends need me, even if it means climbing up on rooftops after them. I've seen what can happen if you don't, and I don't want that to happen to me, honestly. Come on, yuki no erufu. Let's go and see if Sadao's still looking for us."

Erion nodded, and followed Momo back toward the house, blushing himself. "I didn't know they were back there. I'm sorry." He looked back over his shoulder, shaking his head a little. "He wasn't mad or anything. My father's more sad than anything else. He really likes Satoshi, and so does Uncle Hawk."

Momo nodded his head, and glanced over his shoulder, his voice sad. "Wasn't that Tsutomu-san who was crying his eyes out over there with Hawk? I know that he and Satoshi are really close friends. And don't worry about it. I'm more worried that they saw us up there."

Erion's eyes widened. "I don't think they saw us. The trees are still pretty thick, and they would have been more worried about Tsutomu-san. My father and uncle are very friendly with Tsutomu-san, too."

Momo breathed a little easier, and he nodded, "I've noticed. They really seem to get along great. And they seem to have a very similar taste in smoking."

Erion snickered a little. "You smelled it, too?" He leaned a little closer. "I think Tsutomu and Kansas are growing it in Neverwinter. It's not illegal there."

Momo leaned a little closer too, and whispered back, with a conspiratorial tone, "I think so too, because I saw the patch last time we went there. I've been buying pot off Tsutomu-san since I was fifteen. He usually has the best fucking shit, but the last batch that he had was out of this world. Quite literally."

Erion snickered again. "I could bring back some. I mean, you're family, you shouldn't have to pay for the pot anymore."

Momo smiled but shook his head, answering, "If you bring it over, it's your pot, so if you want to share it, that's cool. But I always pay for my pot. Think about it. If Tsutomu was caught with it, he could go to prison, for years. So, the least I can do is pay him for taking that risk. But thanks for the offer though."

"Fair enough," Erion said. "I don't bring back much because I know it's not cool here." He looked up as they reached the house, Sadao waiting on the deck as they approached.

Momo looked up and swallowed thickly, his heart suddenly hammering in his chest, and small tears pearled in his lashes.

Sadao watched them with sad eyes as they climbed the stairs to the deck, and Momo stopped a few feet away from him, his voice shaking ever so slightly. "Hi. I heard you were looking for me."

Sadao stared at Momo, his eyes growing even more sad, and his voice wavered. "Yes, I was. I saw you. Up on the roof."

Erion moaned a little, his eyes brimming. "I'm sorry, Sadao-san. It was my fault. I was upset, and Momo climbed up there to talk to me. He was trying to calm me down, and neither one of us was thinking clearly after some of what came up, old history that I did need to know, but that hurt us both to tell and hear." Erion bowed very deeply. "I forgot my lessons in discipline and restraint, again. I ask forgiveness. We did not go beyond kissing, but I am still deeply sorry for any hurt I've caused you."

Momo tugged on Erion's sweater, urging him to right himself again, as he spoke. "It wasn't your fault, Yuki. Stop it. It was my fault, Sadao. I just wanted him to stop hurting and somehow it was the only thing that I seemed capable of doing. I'm sorry."

Sadao's eyes filled with tears and he shook his head a little, his voice shaking with hurt. "I can't do this, Mamoru-san. I can't… Not again."

Momo hurried forward and grabbed Sadao around the shoulders, looking into Sadao's eyes, his own eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry, Hajime. I'm sorry. We only kissed, and I started to try and grope him, but we stopped. I will not cheat on you. I can't. I love you too much, Hajime. Please believe me. We were just trying to comfort each other, and it just happened somehow. It will never happen again. Please, Hajime, please. I love you too much to lose you like this."

"Please, Sadao-san, you have to believe him. I know how much Momo-san loves you, and it really never will happen again, I swear it to you." The tears brimmed over and trailed down Erion's cheeks. "Please don't let this break you apart. There's already too much pain in this family. Please, hold on to each other, as tightly as you can."

Sadao shivered a little, and stared up into Momo's eyes, his voice still hurt but steady when he whispered, "You do? You promise you won't do this again?"

Momo nodded and leaned in to kiss Sadao gently, their tears mingling on their cheeks. "Yes. I love you too much to ever lose you, Sadao. Please. I'm sorry, and I promise I will never do this again."

Sadao nodded and looked at Erion, reaching out a hand to him, offering him a hug. "I forgive you, Yuki-san. I'm just feeling a little fragile right now. I understand that you must be hurting terribly right now. Ryo took Kansas to your room, and I think he's sleeping in there with Kansas. At least he's waiting for you."

"Thank you," Erion said, sobbing in relief. "Thank you, Sadao-san for forgiving me. I think we're all feeling a little fragile right now. I'm going to go to Kansas, and even if he isn't really understanding me too well right now, I'm going to beg his forgiveness, too. I owe him that, and so much more." Erion turned to Momo. "And thank you for opening my eyes, and telling me that piece of the past. I will cherish them both even more, and make sure they never lose each other."

Erion dashed his hand across his eyes and started to hurry into the house, choking back a sob at how close they had come to ruining everything. Momo grabbed Erion's arm and pulled the young elf into his arms, holding him tightly for a few moments, his voice warm and filled with love. "Don't worry about us, Yuki-chan. I will never let myself lose Sadao. I love him too much to do that. I just lost my head for a moment up there. And please take good care of Kansas. Like Masato said, you are more than enough. You are his everything, Yuki, don't ever doubt that."

Erion took a shaky breath, his smile trembling a bit. "I'm glad you and Sadao will be fine, Momo. And I'll try to remember that about Kansas. Really. It's just hard sometimes, to think that I could ever be enough for him. He's so beautiful, and rare, and precious."

"I know. I saw it in him when I first met him, just like I saw it in you. You are both one of a kind, that's why you fit so well together. But now, hurry up there and hold him, because he needs you right now, more than anyone, even if he can't tell you that himself. He's so lost right now, that I'm scared he doesn't even know what he needs." Momo stroked Erion's cheek gently, and let go of him, watching him go inside.

Erion hurried into the house, blinking back a fresh wave of tears, and tore up the stairs to Kansas's room. He let himself in very quietly, his sight adjusting in the gloom to show him Kansas in the bed, Ryo wrapped around his back. The bleached blond youth was cradling his little brother carefully, although Kansas seemed restless and uncomfortable.

Erion quickly slipped into sleep pants, and slid onto the bed, on the other side of Kansas. He looked over to see Ryo watching him, and whispered, "Thank you, Ryo. Thank you for taking care of Kansas."

Ryo smiled softly, his hand constantly stroking over Kansas' hair, almost like Ryo was unaware of the movement, and he stifled a yawn as he answered, "It's the least I could do. Are you feeling any better?"

Erion made a tiny snort. "Yes and no, but I'll deal with it. The most important thing is watching out for Kansas. Momo told me, about what happened, about how Satoshi saved him that night." Erion's eyes glinted, silver in the pale light. "What he's been through... I can't imagine living through it, let alone being sane and loving and able to do what he does."

Suddenly Kansas lurched forward, Ryo letting go of him immediately, the little imp throwing one leg over Erion's hips and hooking his leg behind Erion's thigh. He wrapped one arm around Erion's neck and fisted his hand in Erion's hair, pulling himself as close to Erion as he was physically able to. He nuzzled harshly into Erion's neck and both youngsters could hear Kansas mumbling, "Don't leave me. Please don't leave me. Never leave me. Please."

Erion wrapped himself around Kansas just as fiercely. "I'll never leave you. Never. I promise you. I'm yours until time ends, 'lokiamin. I love you, and I'll never stop loving you, and I'll never leave you."

Ryo watched the two lovers with a soft smile and then cleared his throat softly to catch Erion's attention. "Your grandmother did something for him, to help him sleep. I think it was one of her alternative medicine things, you know, the hypnosis or whatever it is. He's been resting pretty peacefully since, although he's been asking about you and Satoshi alternately. Do you want me to go and sleep in the guestroom, or stay?"

"Stay, please, Ryo," Erion whispered. "I'm still figuring out how to deal with this, and I don't know what to expect. He's so hurt right now, and losing Satoshi is more than he can bear. I mean, we're not going to lose Satoshi, no matter what. We'll find a way, but Kansas isn't thinking straight right now." Erion held Kansas tightly, the feel of Kansas against him healing some of the raw places on his soul. "How did you know what to do? You call him little brother. Is that part of it?"

Ryo shrugged and snuggled under the covers a little bit, his eyes a little sad. He chuckled a little bit at the question, but then he sat up a little on the bed, leaning against the headboard and reached out to stroke Kansas's hair gently.

"No, that came a bit later. I just learned the hard way. He was out with me and Momo and the guys, and something happened. I can't remember what. And he just went nuts. Started screaming and punching and trying to run away. He knocked Taka out, and scared the fucking daylights out of Takahiro and Kageoshi. But Momo couldn't hold him. And something inside of me just snapped. I grabbed him and squeezed his arms and yelled at him to be quiet, and he just went all limp. And then I just talked to him like I had heard Satoshi-san talk to him. You know, with that soothing, calm monotone. It makes him sort of pliant, and he doesn't react as violently if you just keep doing that. But it's been years since I last saw him do that. I'm sorry I smacked him. That was the second time I've needed to do that. I hate it."

Suddenly Kansas twitched and moaned, and then rose up on his elbow with a small soft cry, his eyes wide and wild as he looked around the room, then stared up at Erion. He reached up and fisted his hands in Erion's hair, moving up so his face was barely an inch from Erion's face.

Ryo sat up a little more, his body tense as he readied himself to grab Kansas if things got violent, but Kansas just stared at Erion with that wide, wild eyed look, and then he spoke, his voice slightly hysterical, but terribly sad too. "I love you. I love you more than anything. You are my everything. But I love Satoshi too. I'm sorry I can't be enough for you."

Kansas tightened his hold on Erion's hair for a moment, then looked around the room again, as if he expected some monster to come jumping out of the shadows at any moment. Then he lay down heavily on Erion's shoulder again, and snuggled as close as he possibly could without actually climbing inside Erion, and within moments he was asleep again, his breath even and deep.

Erion looked at Kansas, and his voice was heavy with sadness as he whispered, "You're enough, and more than enough. I don't need to be the only one you love. I just need to know that you do love me, and I do know that now, and it's more than enough. I never wanted you to stop loving Satoshi the way you do." He dashed the tears from his lashes almost impatiently. "I can't stop crying tonight. I hate crying all the time."

Ryo sighed a little bit with relief and sank back down against the headboard, and asked with a slightly apologetic tone, "Can I smoke in here?"

Erion nodded. "Just open the balcony door, and it'll air out enough. I don't think anyone will care tonight."

Ryo rolled out of the bed to open the door, grabbing an ashtray and his cigarettes on his way back to the bed, and lit up with a small groan, offering a cigarette to Erion.

Erion took the cigarette gratefully, inhaling it with almost sexual bliss. "Thank you, Ryo. I need this. I'm shaking."

Ryo reached out a hand to stroke Kansas's hair one more time, and then reached up hesitantly to stroke Erion's hair. "If there was ever a time to cry, it's tonight. I would if I could, but I hardly ever cry. You are very lucky, you know. Just the fact that he can love is a miracle, so it's an even greater miracle that he can love as deeply and as much as he does. I mean, just look at me, I have to self-analyze every time I have feelings for someone, just to make out whether I love them or not."

Erion looked at Ryo, puzzled. "I'm not sure I understand, Ryo. There's a lot that I don't really get, because I've just met everyone so recently."

Ryo shrugged again, smiling a little ruefully. "Never mind that. It's just a result of everything that happened, you know, foster care and all that shit. But you asked if part of calming him down is calling him little brother. It is and it isn't. It's sort of our thing, if you know what I mean."

Ryo grabbed a bottle of sweet tea off the nightstand and took a sip, offering it to Erion as he continued talking. "I used to go after school, once a week, and I never wanted the guys to come with me, and I wouldn't tell them where I was going, but Kansas was always asking where I went. So one day, he followed me. He's pretty good at being invisible when he wants to, so I didn't notice him, until we were at the cemetery. He found out that I was visiting my family tomb to talk to my older brother. When Kansas realized, he offered to be my big brother, but since he's born in August, and I'm born in April, we decided I should be the big brother and he the little brother."

Erion sipped the tea and handed it back to Ryo, his expression thoughtful. "I'm glad he has that with you. He really only has the family he's made for himself, and Satoshi, who started him thinking he deserved a family. I've never known even the tiniest bit of the pain he's felt, but I know he needs you so please, never stop being his brother?"

"Oh, I won't. But let me tell you, if Momo told you everything about that night, then you know more than I do. I couldn't stomach the details. I asked him to sugarcoat that shit for me, after he told me how they used to make the dogs mount him." Ryo choked a little bit and paled visibly, his throat working hard as he tried to stop the bile that rose in his throat. He took a long swallow of the tea and reached for his cigarette pack, and lit another cigarette, even though he had just put his last one out.

Erion reached out to stroke Ryo's arm in sympathy. "Where I'm from, I saw things that were almost as bad, so I'm not quite the fragile little thing I might sometimes seem. But I wanted to be sick when Momo told me. I needed to hear it all, though. I can't help him if I don't know the dark places."

Ryo nodded, a loving smile on his face, and he patted Erion's hand softly. "I've never really seen you as fragile. Maybe a little naive at times, and a bit reckless, but not fragile. But you've grown up a whole shitload since you came here. And honestly, I only care more for you, because you want to know about his past, because it tells me you love him. And the more you learn, and still stay, the more it tells me that you are going to stay. Hell, I've had girls running just from hearing that I was raised in the system."

Erion smiled a little. "Thank you. I'm glad you believe in me, because I won't leave him. I never really could, because I knew the moment I laid eyes on Kansas that he was my other half, the rest of my soul. But the system has to be pretty bad here if it's scaring off the girls. Maybe Kansas and I can work to change that."

Ryo giggled a little bit, and shrugged. "Nah, I don't think it's much worse than in many other places, and it's probably better than in a lot of other places, too. It's just that Japanese mentality, that places the family unit so high on the scale, you know. That's why the CPS doesn't step in until it's almost too late, or in some cases already too late, and they avoid removing the kids from the home until... well, until it's almost too late. That's one of the reasons I am the way I am. I can't love people like others do. I either don't feel it or I feel it too much. That's why I have to analyze how I feel, to find the normal way to express the way I feel."

Erion nodded again, thoughtful. "Just don't worry about that with me, okay? I don't ever judge the people I care about like that. To tell you the truth, I don't think any of us ever thinks we get it right when it comes to our feelings. I worry about crying too much, or not loving enough, or being too whatever. Maybe we need to stop worrying and just live. Just don't tell my grandmother I said that, though. She'll smack me and tell me it's about time I figured that out." Erion looked at Kansas, still a bit restless but as peaceful as could be expected. "Maybe we should both try and sleep a bit. I have a feeling sleep is going to be in short supply for a while, until we get Satoshi home."

Ryo nodded and stubbed out his cigarette, glancing at the balcony door, but decided that the night was warm enough, and the three of them in the bed together would keep each other warm while they slept. He put the ashtray on the floor and then snuggled up against Kansas's back, throwing one arm over Kansas's side, his hand resting on Kansas's arm.

He looked at Erion over the top of Kansas's head and said softly, "You know, if you're curious about me, all you have to do is ask. I don't mind talking about how I was raised or why I ended in the system, you know. The only thing that still hurts is losing my brother. I've long since put all that other shit behind me."

"Really?" Erion asked. "You don't mind? Because I am curious, actually. My grandmother says I'm worse than a cat."

Ryo giggled a little and buried his nose in Kansas's hair to stop himself, his eyes sparkling when he nodded. "Kansas said that about you too, once. He was trying to hide your birthday present from you, and you kept looking for it." Ryo giggled a little bit more, and then drew a sharp breath through his nose, and nodded as he managed to stop his giggles. "I don't mind. What do you want to know?"

"Well, how did you end up in the system, for one," Erion said, glad that the dark hid his blush. "Back home, we tend to wind up with family, so I sort of get the family thing."

Ryo hummed a little through his nose. "Well, they do try to place you with family here too, if there is any family to place you with. What happened was that my mom got into some bad company when she was in high school. She lost her dad when she was like eleven or so, and her mother married very soon after that, a guy who had a son, a couple of years older than mom. My mom started to rebel shortly after that, and when she was in her last year of high school, she was hanging out with some petty gangster types, and NEET types, and started drinking pretty young."

Erion's eyes widened, but he just listened to Ryo, reaching out to touch Ryo's arm lightly.

Ryo reached for his cigarettes again and lit up, his voice deepening just a little. "She dropped out of high school and moved in with this guy that she thought was the greatest guy on earth, when she was like nineteen, and they started doing drugs together. And by the time she was twenty three, she had me and my brother. He was three years older than me. I don't really remember much of those years, but I do remember that we usually got food, and we had our diapers changed sort of regularly, and I know that I was potty trained around two or so."

Ryo gave Erion a small smile, and sipped at his tea, and his eyes showed that these were hard memories to recall, even if he had put them behind himself. "When I was four, mom and dad were getting high, and they started fighting like always, and my brother tried to step between them. But my dad grabbed both of us and put us outside on the stairwell. It was the middle of winter, and we only had our pajamas on, and socks. My brother held me the whole time and tried to keep me warm, and we could hear our parents yelling and screaming inside, and then they started having sex, like they always did. Then they woke up, and shot up again, and the whole stupid thing started all over again. My brother and I sat out there on the stairwell for about two hours, before the police showed up."

Ryo reached out and patted Erion's hand, telling him softly, "This isn't the worst story you'll hear, if you're going to be a social worker. And I came out of this pretty stable."

Erion nodded. "It's just harder when you care about the person like family."

"That is true." Ryo drew a deep breath and sighed a little bit. "The cops arrested our parents, and they got sent to jail for the drugs and for what they did to us, as well as a bunch of other small things. They still got a few years each, and CPS had to take us in, because my dad had no family, and my mother's stepbrother refused to have anything to do with us, on the grounds we weren't family. At first we were put in an orphanage, and then we got to go to a foster home, where we lived with eight other kids. We got sent to another orphanage when my brother turned ten, because then he was too old to be at the foster home, and they let me go with him, because they didn't want to break us up."

"When I was ten, someone at the orphanage told my brother that one of the staff members had touched me, you know, sexually. And instead of asking me about it, my brother attacked that staff member and poured scalding hot tea over the guy's crotch." Ryo stopped and drew a deep breath, his teeth tugging on his lower lip for a moment, and then he continued. "They took my brother away and put him in a home for troubled kids, and I didn't see him again for three years. When I was thirteen, I was told that my mother had been let out of jail a couple of years earlier, but she got back into the drugs, and never came looking for us. And now she was dying in the hospital. I was allowed to go and see her, and there I met my brother again after three years. A few months later I got placed in a foster home, and then the next few years I bounced between foster homes, halfway homes, and orphanages. And then when I was seventeen, and my brother was two months away from getting out of the system, he was walking home from work, and got hit by a car."

Ryo stopped and sniffled slightly, his hands automatically lighting up another cigarette as a tiny tear rolled down his cheek.

"Someone paid for his funeral, and he was buried in the Shinoda family tomb. I was allowed to know where he was buried, and after that I went there once a week to talk to him. He died instantly they said, but they didn't let me see his body. They even cremated him before I was allowed to see him and say good bye. Anyway, I pressed my social worker about who it had been that paid for his funeral and she finally admitted that it was my mother's stepbrother. And the only reason he did that, was because my dad had been let out of jail when I was fifteen, and he had asked to get me and my brother back, but there had been some fuck up with our birth records, and it turned out that my dad wasn't my dad at all. My dad is my mom's stepbrother."

"Ryo," Erion breathed, dismayed. "This is doubly hard for you, then, Satoshi's accident, and bringing back such memories. I'm so sorry."

Ryo smiled a little wryly and shook his head. "Nah, it's alright. I'm over it. I just miss my brother sometimes. That's like the only regret that I have, that he didn't come and ask me about it, instead of just believing those kids that lied to him."

Erion's eyes widened, and he sucked in a breath. "He knew all along that he was your father, didn't he?"

Ryo grinned, and nodded. "Yup, he did. We always thought that we had the last name Shinoda because mom and dad were never married, and her stepdad did adopt her, so she had his last name. But mom's stepbrother, he was always a good guy, you know. Always stayed out of trouble, graduated from the best university, and has a fancy business job, with a fancy wife, a kid and a fancy house. And still he had an affair with my mother for years. She just blew all the money he gave her on drugs."

Ryo rolled over on the bed to put the ashtray on the floor again, and wiped his nose on his hand as he snuggled under the covers again. "Mom's stepbrother made it pretty clear that he felt no obligation in taking me in, or helping me in anyway, because I am not registered as his son. And honestly, I had been on my own for so long when I found out that I didn't care anymore. I've always been on my own, and I know how to take care of myself. And on top of it all, the best family that I've ever had is the family that I chose for myself, and the one that chose me. Momo, Eric, and Kansas, Takahiro and Kageoshi. Yuji-san and Satoshi-san, Eric's parents. And you, Yuki-san."

Erion smiled, and felt his heart lighten a bit. "I'm glad I'm family, Ryo. I feel that way about you, too. And sometimes, the family we make is as important as the family we're born to, even if we have a good family. My parents are great, even if they won't marry, and my brother's not quite bad enough to make me pretend I don't know him. But this family here? This is where I belong."

Ryo smiled and nodded, stroking the back of Kansas's head as the little imp twitched hard in his sleep, mumbling something that did not sound entirely Japanese. "You do belong here, Yuki. We all do, I think. There must be a reason we all ended up here at the same time. I hate when he does that. When he starts mumbling Russian. It means his dreams are getting bad. I wish I could make him stop dreaming."

Erion nodded sadly, listening to see if he could catch the words. He had absorbed more than enough Russian to be able to understand most of it, but Kansas had slurred the words in his sleep. "My grandmother didn't want to make him sleep too deeply. She worries about doing that."

Ryo nodded and whispered to Erion, "Talk to him. Like I showed you at the hospital. Just tell him he's safe, and that you're here, and that everything is alright. When he's asleep, it doesn't really matter what you say, but more how you say it. Once I heard Satoshi read out the names of every single album and single that Kohaku has ever released, because he had run out of things to say. It's the tone that soothes him, not the words, at least when he's sleeping."

Erion nodded. "I understand. Is there anything else I should worry about?"

Ryo frowned for a moment, and started to shake his head, but then said with a sad tone, "If he starts screaming like he was doing at the hospital, sometimes the only thing you can do to make him stop is to slap him. I've only done it twice since I first met him, because usually it's enough to just yell at him and grab him sort of hard. But he's never had something like this happen before, so I'm not sure what to expect."

Erion nodded again, his expression solemn. "I'm not sure I can hit him, but I guess I won't know until it comes down to it. He did scare me a bit when he screamed like that. I've never seen him quite that bad."

Ryo nodded. "I know. The first time Takahiro and Kageoshi saw him like that they both started crying. Kageoshi just went limp like a noodle and stood there shivering in the middle of the street. Maybe Momo and I were better prepared for it, because of our backgrounds, but it was still scary as shit. Especially because he becomes violent. But I'm here to help you."

Ryo reached out and stroked Erion's hair softly, brotherly, and told him with love in his voice, "I'll be working in the field all week, so I'll be able to keep my cellphone on. You call me, day or night, any time, if you need anything. Even if it's only to scream for a minute, you can do that with me, you understand. I'm here for you, just as much as I am here for him."

Erion's smile was bright as he reached out to stroke Ryo's hair with brotherly affection. "Thanks. I'll try not to abuse the privilege, but you might get a shriek or two."

Ryo chuckled a little bit, and pulled the covers up to his ears, answering with a cheeky grin, "Just warn me when you need to shriek, so I can put the phone to my right ear. I'm half deaf in that one, so it won't be too bad."

Erion snickered a bit, settling in more comfortably and tucking Kansas in a bit. "How about I text first? I'll just send something like, 'Shriek incoming' and you'll know to hold the phone well away."

Ryo chuckled and nodded. "That's a deal. But now, let's try to get some sleep, because I know you two moron twins always get up to watch the dawn, which will be in like three hours or something. And I ain't no teenager no more, I need some sleep."

"Good night, Yuki-san, and sleep well. Good night, little brother." Ryo patted Erion's head and Kansas's head, his voice drowsy with sleep already.

"Good night, Ryo-san, and we'll try not to wake you." Erion closed his eyes, but he knew he was not going to be able to reverie. Instead, he settled into a light meditation, to get what rest he could.

Ryo snorted a little bit in response, and then his hand came snaking over Kansas's back, finding Erion's hand and wrapping around it tightly, trying to give what comfort he could, even in sleep.

Erion squeezed Ryo's hand back, grateful for the comfort and he let himself drift away.

[Sandcastles and Fireworks]

Willow drew a deep breath when the doctor left again, allowing herself to scream inside for a moment as she held that deep breath inside, and then she let it out slowly as she calmed down again.

"Vale, my love, I think we should all go in and see him, in pairs or threes like the doctor said. Masato-san, you want to go first, don't you?" She looked at the dazed moon elf, not really expecting an answer, and when he looked up at her with his dark blue eyes, his arms tightening a little around Ryuu, she nodded briskly. "Then you will go first, with Ryuu, and Tomio. Eryn-san, you will take Kansas?"

"I'll go with Kansas," Ryo said quietly, looking at Erion with a questioning look and the silver haired elf gnawed on his lip for a moment, but then nodded his head when Momo stepped up beside Erion, draping an arm around his shoulders, saying, "I'll go with Yuki. I'll go with you, yuki no erufu. I'll be your strength in this." Sadao stood beside Momo, a warm friendship in his eyes.

Willow nodded her head again, and then looked at Satoru, telling him, "You will go next. You are his father, and it is your right to go with the first round. Yori and Kenji can go next, then Kohaku-san, Kiyoshi-san, and Matsu-san. Katsurou-san, you can go in and see him too."

Willow smiled at the oldest Murai son, but he bowed respectfully, and his voice was quiet when he answered. "I think I will decline, this time. As close as our families are, I still do not feel comfortable going in to see him right now. I will go home when you start going to Satoshi-san's room to see him, and I'll deliver the news to my parents. I will come and see him again, when I visit next time. I know my parents and Kiku will want to come to see him again too. But tonight is really your night to see him."

Willow bowed a little in acceptance and then looked over the group of people, and Hideko nodded, resting a hand on Takahiro's shoulder. "Since Masato-san is going to take Tomio, then Takahiro-kun can come with me and Tsutomu. You, Akira-san and Yuji all have to go in there, too. Don't forget yourself in taking care of the rest of us," Hideko said, a soft friendly smile on her lips.

Takahiro looked up, a little shy around Hideko. "I think I should go in with Eric." Eric nodded at his friend in agreement.

Yuji nodded, his voice so broken that Vale's heart ached. "We can go and see Satoshi now? I want to go and see him. Where is Satoshi, Akira?"

Vale pulled Yuji into an embrace and stroked his hair, whispering to him, "Satoshi's in his room, my love. He's sleeping, and we'll go and see him in a little bit. Just a little bit longer, my love."

Yuji leaned his head against Vale's shoulder, a tiny tremble in his body that betrayed his physical exhaustion as well as his mental exhaustion.

Sato bowed deeply in the doorway and tried to smile at the family, but his smile faltered a little bit as he took in the quiet determination and terrible heartache that painted each face.

"Tanaka-sensei says that you can come and see Satoshi-sama now," Sato said, struggling for a moment to keep his voice steady, and Vale bowed to him with a small smile.

"Thank you, Sato-san," Vale said and then Katsurou picked up his jacket and pulled on his shoes again, bowing a little to the whole family before he hugged each of them. He asked them to give Satoshi his regards, and said that he would come back to see Satoshi the next day, and he would bring his parents.

Sato waited patiently as Katsurou bid the family farewell, and then he led them all out of the hallway. They rode the elevator two floors up, while Katsurou took the elevator down to the lobby.

Sato led the family through the commons, down a hallway, and then entered the intensive care unit.

They were met by the charge nurse, and Sato introduced Sand as Mori Masato, Satoshi's husband, and the nurse introduced herself as Nurse Inoue. She looked at the large group of people and asked if they were all family. When Vale said they were, she just nodded her head and told them they could only go in in pairs, or three at the most. Vale and Willow both managed a smile and Willow told the nurse that she had already organized the order they would be going in to see Satoshi, which made the nurse smile too.

Sand was the first to enter, holding Ryuu and Tomio's hands. The sight of Satoshi on the bed, his skin pale gold against the crisp white sheets and the endless swaths of bandages, his face still so naked and unadorned, made Sand's heart skip and then clench painfully. Tanaka stood in the corner, silent and attentive, watching Satoshi's vital signs as well as the family. The ventilator thumped and hissed, monitors beeped, and Sand bit back a wail.

"Oh, saiai," Sand mourned, his voice barely a whisper. His eyes were dark with pain and grief, and only the small warm hands that he held so carefully kept him from flinging himself on the side of the bed.

Ryuu reached out his other hand, and Sand released him so that Ryuu could go to Satoshi. Ryuu touched Satoshi with infinite gentleness on his left arm where it was unbroken. His voice was a little shaky, but surprisingly strong.

"Hi, chichi. I don't want you to worry about anything. You sleep and get better. I'll take good care of Takara and Michi, and I'll make sure Hikaru washes behind his ears, too. And I won't let Takara push Hikaru in the pool because that's just bad." Ryuu nodded his head decisively. "I'm waiting for you to get better, chichi, but right now you should just sleep very well so you get better quicker. Don't you worry because I'll take care of tousan, too."

Ryuu looked at Sand, and Sand smiled, a small smile but tender and loving. "Would you like to give chichi a kiss?"

Ryuu's eyes widened, and he looked so hopeful as he nodded vigorously. Sand lifted Ryuu carefully, and held him close to Satoshi so that Ryuu could press a small kiss to Satoshi's unbroken right cheek. Tomio looked at Sand and shook his head slightly about the kiss, but he touched Satoshi's arm carefully where Ryuu had touched it.

"Get better fast, otooji." Tomio's voice was small, but he was so obviously trying to be brave. "You don't look the same without your piercings. But you'll be better soon, and I promise I'll watch out for Ryuu and everything."

Ryuu's chin was just a little bit wobbly as he looked over at Tanaka. "It does sort of look like crazy robots. Take good care of my chichi and my tousan until I get back."

"I promise, my brave dragon," Tanaka said very seriously.

Sand turned to Ryuu, dropping to his knees for a hug. "Will you go outside to Mama now? I will stay with chichi and talk to him, so that he knows he is not alone. I love you, sochi-chan. You are the most perfect son, and I am the proudest father in all the world." Sand kissed Ryuu's soft cheek, and ran his fingers through Ryuu's thick hair, and then did the same with Tomio.

"You are so very brave, oi-chan. Thank you for taking such good care of Ryuu-kun and for being so perfect." Sand managed another smile, standing slowly and watching as Tomio and Ryuu left before turning back to Satoshi and kneeling beside his bed. Sand's long fingers touched Satoshi's beautiful cherry red hair softly, his eyes nearly black with grief, and he bowed his head as the scalding tears fell.

Ryuu and Tomio came out of the room, hand in hand, and both of them wobbly-chinned. Ryuu made a beeline for Willow, his arms wrapping around her tightly as he finally began to cry, a small, frightened little boy at last, tired and needing comfort. Willow fought back tears of her own as she held her oldest child tightly, murmuring soothingly and kissing his soft hair.

Tomio ran straight to Tsutomu, his tears falling as he hurled himself into his father's arms, and Hideko hurried over to stroke his back tenderly as Tsutomu hugged Tomio tightly.

Inside the room, Tanaka brought a straight-backed chair over to where Sand knelt, and gently urged the elf to sit more comfortably. Sand nodded his thanks, not trusting his voice, and he feathered a kiss over Satoshi's pale cheek. "I am here, saiai. I will always be here. It is as I promised, watashi no kokoro. You will never be alone again. Aishiteru, Satoshi."

Ryo wrapped his arm around Kansas's waist as Eryn opened the door to lead them in to the room. Kansas shuddered between them as they entered. Sand was sitting by the bed, the doctor standing to the side between the door and the curtain that hid the bed from view.

Ryo drew a deep breath and closed his eyes for two steps, blocking out his own memories of the last time he'd done something like this, and then he opened them again, ready for whatever would face him.

His eyes widened a little when he saw Satoshi, then his arm tightened around Kansas, and he braced himself for what he knew would come next.

Kansas sobbed quietly as they walked into the room, his legs barely holding him up as he leaned on his adoptive mother and his best friend. When they cleared the curtain that blocked his view and his eyes landed on the numerous machines that crowded around the bed, Satoshi so small and weak in the bed, pale as the sheets. His slender body was covered in bandages, casts and wicked looking metal braces, his leg elevated and in traction, his knee dressed in a tight bandage, and tubes everywhere, in his arms, his legs, and his mouth.

Kansas keened loudly, and his legs gave out from under him as his voice rose in a scream of agony, his eyes blinded by his tears, and Ryo gave a small grunt as Kansas went limp, crumbling to the floor, still screaming.

"Give him back. Give him back. You didn't fix him. You fucking bastard! You lied, you didn't fix him. He's worse than ever. You lied, you fucker!" Kansas screamed with all his strength, writhing around on the floor as he tried to reach for the doctor, shaking his fist at Sand and the doctor, shaking Eryn off as she tried to stop him.

Eryn was very conscious of both Tanaka and Ryo being there, and she knew she could not use any of her clerical spells to calm Kansas. She did try to catch his flailing hands, but Kansas was preternaturally strong as he raged and fought like a wildcat.

"Kansas, stop, before you hurt yourself," Eryn pleaded to no avail. "Please, sweetheart, hear me."

Ryo gave the slender woman a small apologetic look, then he knelt down in front of Kansas, the imp fighting to crawl over Ryo. But the bleached blond pushed Kansas back and then backhanded Kansas across the face so hard his head whipped to the side, and he let out a whimper that nearly broke Ryo's heart. His voice was calm and firm though when he spoke, his hands tight around Kansas' shoulders.

"Kansas. Stop. Satoshi is sleeping, because he is very hurt. He needs to sleep for a few days. He is not worse, and the doctor did everything he could do to help Satoshi, do you hear me? Satoshi is sleeping so he will get better. Now say thank you to the doctor and Masato-san. They have done everything they can to help Satoshi, so you should be thankful."

Kansas stared at Ryo with wide eyes, a faint trickle of blood spilling out of the corner of his mouth, and his throat worked constantly as he swallowed hard.

Slowly, very slowly he blinked his eyes and then nodded his head, his voice small and childish when he answered, "Satoshi is sleeping. Doctor-sama and Masato-san did everything to help Satoshi. I'm sorry. Thank you, Doctor-sama, for helping Satoshi. Thank you, Masato-san. I want to go home and sleep now."

Sand sobbed, one hand still touching Satoshi's hair as he watched his beloved youngest husband, looking more lost and forlorn than Sand could remember seeing him. Nothing was right, nothing made sense, from the broken body of his soul's other half to the tormented young man in front of him, and Sand fought a wave of despair, an urge to simply surrender and allow it all to fade.

Ryo nodded his head slowly, still staring straight into Kansas's eyes. Kansas nodded his head slowly, too, and then he sank down on the floor, his eyes rolling back in his head, and Ryo sighed with relief.

He pulled Kansas up into his embrace and held him for a moment, looking up at Eryn with an apologetic look, but his words were aimed at Kansas. "I'm sorry, little brother, I didn't want to slap you again. I'm sorry I hit you. But try to sleep now, and I'll carry you home."

Ryo gently pulled Kansas into his arms, and rose to his feet slowly, finding his balance before he nodded at Sand and said quietly, "I'm sorry, Masato-san. I'll visit again soon, and bring Annika. Be well, and I hope Satoshi-san gets well soon."

Ryo walked towards the door, then turned to wait for Eryn, Kansas's head hanging limply over his arm. Tanaka gently lifted Kansas's head and moved it to Ryo's shoulder, the youngster whispering a small thank you at the doctor.

Eryn walked over to Sand, her small hands on either side of his face as she tilted it up so that she could look at Sand. His deep blue eyes were dull and lifeless, and Eryn opened up her empath's gift and bit back a gasp.

"How long have you felt this pain, my child?" Eryn's voice was gentle as she spoke to Sand in elven. "No, you don't need to speak. I can feel and see, and this cannot go on."

"No," Sand said, his long fingers covering Eryn's hands. "Please, do not. It is all I have. I cannot feel him through our bond, and I am alone and so very afraid. I am so very afraid."

Eryn wrapped her arms around Sand, cradling his head to her chest. She let him weep, this fierce son of hers who so rarely gave in to tears, and she pushed love and strength through her empath's touch to try and bolster him. She turned her head, looking at Satoshi, extending her touch to him and letting her love wash over him as well.

"I don't know if you feel that, my son," Eryn murmured, still speaking elven. "I can't do more in this place, and my heart breaks that I can't ease this for you. I'll protect Sand for you, and hope that it's enough for now. I love you, son of my heart. I love you."

Eryn turned back to Sand, leaning down to kiss his silky hair. "Lean on me, and draw strength from me. He needs you. You can't leave us, not now, not like this. You're my fierce one, my battlemage, who walked the very Weave to bring Hawk back to me. Do not falter, my sweet child, not now."

Sand looked up, his eyes wet with tears, but they were fractionally brighter, and Eryn sighed with relief. She kissed Sand's forehead tenderly. "The others want to see Satoshi," she said in Japanese. "I will be back, if you need me."

Eryn stroked Sand's cheek one final time and joined Ryo at the door, opening it so that he could carry Kansas back outside. Erion was waiting, with Momo and Sadao, and he looked at Kansas in Ryo's arms, the hurt naked in his eyes. Ryo did not see it before Erion lowered his gaze, but Eryn saw it, and her heart ached anew with this fresh wound. The family was both pulling together and tearing itself apart, and Eryn could only wonder what shape it would take when this was all over. She contented herself with pausing to touch Erion's cheek gently, her eyes filled with love for her eldest grandson, before she walked into Satoru's arms, and let the tears slide down her cheeks.

Erion took a deep breath before walking into the room, his heart already pounding. He faltered a bit just inside the door, the sight of Satoshi so still in the bed and Sand sitting beside him, pale and struggling to compose himself, almost more than the young elf could bear. Momo sobbed from behind Erion, but his strong callused hand reached out to grasp Erion's shoulder, and Erion began to walk forward, stopping at the side of the bed.

"Oh, Satoshi, baby," Erion said, his voice breaking as he began to cry. "Oh, no, this isn't right at all. Is this why it felt like goodbye? Did you feel this coming for you?" He turned to Sand. "Otooji, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We'll make him better. You won't lose him. I promise, whatever it takes."

Erion hugged Sand for a long moment, the only sounds the incessant thumping and beeping of the machines, and Momo's quiet sobs. Sadao had tears beading in his lashes, and he gripped Momo's shoulder tightly, supporting the younger man with his loving presence.

Erion released Sand finally, and bent over Satoshi to stroke his hair, whispering into his ear, "I love you, baby. My first husband. I love you."

Sand looked at Momo and Sadao, his face etched with grief. "Thank you," he managed, and then he had to stop.

"Gikei," Momo breathed, his face wet with tears, and he bent to hug Sand tightly, Sand stroking Momo's back tenderly. "He looks so lost in all that. I don't want to lose him, not now, not when I've just found him."

"We will fight to save him," Sand murmured, his voice soft. He looked at Momo, and then his eyes flickered to Erion. "He does not understand, my poor nephew. He is more than enough, but he cannot see it."

"I'll watch out for him," Momo said, not completely understanding, but willing to do anything to help Erion.

Sadao nodded, hugging Sand as Momo stepped away. "We'll both watch out for him," Sadao said softly. "Masato-san, if there's anything else we can do, just tell us. I've known Satoshi-san since he was a determined little boy, and my heart's breaking."

"Sadao-san, my friend, thank you." Sand held Sadao's hand briefly in his free hand. "You have fast become a cherished friend and member of our family, and I am grateful."

Sand turned back to Satoshi, stroking Satoshi's hair tenderly and just letting his love gently radiate, not pushing to find their bond. If Satoshi was able to sense anything through their bond at any point, he would feel that love, and that was enough for now. He spoke softly, never taking his eyes off Satoshi, the elven words meant for Erion alone. "Lle naa faarea. You are enough."

Momo reached out to pull Erion to his side, Erion's face wet with tears. Erion leaned into the one-armed hug for a few heartbeats, drawing strength from the contact, and he took a deep breath as he struggled to compose himself.

"You're allowed to cry," Sadao said gently.

Erion managed a small smile. "I can't help anyone if I'm falling apart. I need to be strong now. Just need a little discipline, right?"

Erion drew himself up a bit, scrubbing away his tears with the heel of his hand. He took a deep breath, and opened the door, walking back out into the waiting room. He looked over at Ryo, Kansas cradled in his arms, and he walked over to sit next to Ryo, taking Kansas's cold little hand in his and kissing it tenderly.

Satoru held out his hand to Eryn, his eyes full of pain, and Eryn took his hand. She was prepared when they walked into the room and Satoru moaned and staggered a bit, his eyes filling with tears at the sight of his son in the bed. Sand looked up, ragged and drawn, his fingers never ceasing to gently stroke Satoshi's hair.

"Tousan." Sand's voice was very soft as he stood slowly. "Sit here with him for a bit. I will talk with okaasan." He moved away from the bed, not entirely steady as he offered Satoru his place at Satoshi's side.

Satoru gathered Sand into his arms and held him tightly, stroking the long raven hair the same way he was in the habit of stroking Satoshi's hair, his voice filled with tears as he whispered to Sand. "I love you, my son. You are his very reason for living now. Thank you for being so strong for him. For us all. I love you, Masato."

"I love you, tousan," Sand replied, and he managed a small smile.

Satoru let go of Sand, and looked the elf in the eyes when he spoke those last four words, touching Sand's cheek gently before he let go completely, and sank down on the chair beside the bed.

"Satoshi-kun. My sweet boy, my little warrior. Please come back to us. Please fight and come back. Don't leave me now that I have just gotten you back. Please don't give in. You are a fighter, you can fight this," Satoru whispered in a broken voice, his tears trickling down his cheeks. He leaned over the bed and stroked Satoshi's hair gently, tracing the small arch of Satoshi's eyebrow and the curve of his ear, since every other part of his face was taped or bruised.

Eryn took Sand's arm and led him to the side, wrapping her arms around him. "Don't try to keep it inside, utinuamin. You need to deal with what you feel and let it out. You know this."

Sand nodded, his vision blurring as the hot tears fell. "I cannot endure without him, atara. There is no meaning without Satoshi. How did you endure when atar died?"

"I didn't bind myself to Anessath the way you've bound yourself to Satoshi." Eryn stroked Sand's hair the way she had when he was an elfling. "We always knew there was too much danger that one of us would fall in battle. We didn't want you children to be alone, and neither of us had living parents."

Sand lifted his head, his eyes dark with pain. "The children," he said, his expression stricken. He shook his head. "They will have the rest of the family. Willow, Vale and Yuji will care for them. I would not be whole enough even if I could bear to live a day without his smile."

"Don't," Eryn said firmly. "We're not losing Satoshi." Her eyes locked on Sand's eyes. "We have resources beyond this, and we'll use them."

Sand shuddered a little, relief and pain mixed in his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you, atara."

"Amin mela lle, utinuamin," Eryn replied, and kissed Sand's forehead before releasing him and walking over to wrap her arms around Satoru.

"I'm here, my love," Eryn murmured, holding on to Satoru and not bothering to hide her own tears.

Satoru wrapped his hand around Eryn's arm, clinging to his wife with the last of his strength, his other hand stroking Satoshi's hair constantly, and he let himself break down finally, his tears flowing freely.

"I've lost too many. I can't lose you, too, Satoshi-kun. Please. My little warrior, you've survived so much, you can survive this. We're all here for you," he mumbled to Satoshi between his sobs, his hand tightening around Eryn's arm as he turned to look at her, and his voice broke as he told her, "This is worse than when he was burned. But I'm here for him now. We are all here for him now."

Satoru sobbed again and buried his face in Eryn's chest, wrapping his arm around her waist and holding her tightly, his love for his son literally palpable in the air around him.

Eryn held Satoru tightly and stroked his hair lovingly, her own cheeks wet with her tears. "Yes, we are. We're all here for him now, and we're not going to lose him, my love. We'll fight for him as hard as he'll fight to live."

Satoru nodded into his wife's chest, mumbling, "Yes. He's a fighter. He always has been. No matter what, he's never given up. No matter how often he's wanted to."

Satoru shivered a little and looked up at Eryn, his eyes so endlessly tired, and red from his tears. "I think I want to sleep now. There is nothing more I can do for him right now, and I won't be much help if I'm exhausted," he said quietly, a flicker of shame running through his eyes, and for a moment he looked far older than his fifty-nine years.

"We'll go back to the estate, my love." Eryn stroked Satoru's cheek lovingly. "Let's give the others a chance to see him, and we can go and rest a bit."

Satoru nodded slowly, almost mechanically, and rose to his feet. Leaning over his unconscious son, he kissed Satoshi on the forehead gently and whispered, "I love you, Satoshi-kun. Remember that we are all here for you, and fight. We'll be here to fight with you." Then he turned back to Eryn and tried to smile at Sand, but failed miserably. Instead he opened his arms and silently offered Sand what little strength he had to offer.

Sand walked into Satoru's arms, holding him tightly. "Thank you, tousan. Thank you for being here. I know that Satoshi knows you are here, and knows how very much you love him. It will help him fight and return to us."

Satoru stroked Sand's hair again, the movement as natural for him with the elf as it was with Satoshi and Momo. "Remember that he has a gift. I am certain that he can sense you even if he is not consciously aware of you. I remember that from when he was burned. His heart rate used to jump a little whenever Yuji came to see him. His empathy may be open, and then he can sense you. Remember that, Masato-kun."

"I will remember, tousan." Sand touched Satoru's cheek gently, his eyes clearer and his voice a little stronger. "I will remember, and I will remind him that I am here, that we are all here."

Satoru stroked Sand's cheek and nodded, his voice stronger for a moment. "Remind him how much you love him. Let him feel how much you love him. Love is the strongest weapon you have against what he's fighting."

"Then I am well armed indeed, because my love for him is infinite," Sand replied, looking back at Satoshi, his love as palpable as Satoru's.

"Come, love," Eryn said, wrapping her arm around Satoru's waist. "We'll go back out for now, and we'll go home very soon."

They left the room, and Kenji was waiting outside with Yori. Kenji held out his arms and hugged Satoru tightly, and Yori looked at Eryn anxiously. Eryn nodded reassuringly, her blue eyes gentle, and she moved over to the younger man.

"Satoshi does look dreadful," Eryn said very quietly. "It'll be hard on you both. Can you manage?"

Yori nodded, his face pale, and his voice wavered a little. "Yes, I think I can manage. But I worry about Kenji. This could remind him too much of me. And that will just break my heart."

Kenji let go of Satoru, the two of them silently exchanging encouragements, and then Kenji turned to Yori and held out his hand, his voice strong despite the pain that filled it. "Come, saiai. Let's go and let him know we're here."

They walked into the room, and Sand turned from where he was standing near the bed. He looked at Kenji and Yori, his face damp with tears, but his expression calmer than it had been. Sand held out his arms to embrace his two dear friends, Satoshi's beloved uncle and his husband. "Thank you both for being here for Satoshi."

Kenji and Yori both wrapped their arms around Sand, and held him tightly, Yori whispering to him, "We are here for you too, Masato-san. Don't forget that."

Kenji nodded against Sand's shoulder, his hand stroking Sand's back gently, his eyes clamped shut, and he shivered when he whispered, "I don't know if I can look at him."

Sand looked at the beautiful young man that he loved like a brother, and smiled his thanks. Then he addressed Kenji, his voice gentle. "He looks perfectly awful, Kenji-san, but the injuries are mostly broken bones. The pain medication is beginning to work at last, and I believe he is actually resting peacefully at the moment." Sand moved to Kenji's side, ready to support him if necessary.

Yori reached up and teased his fingers into Kenji's hair, and said with a sad tone, "He's afraid it will bring back memories."

Kenji nodded, clinging to both Yori and Sand, and his voice trembled. "I know it will. Not only of you, saiai, but of Satoshi as well. Seeing him in that bed will only remind me of the time he was burned."

Sand nodded, his eyes sad. "I can understand that fear well. But we must find the strength for Satoshi's sake. He needs to know that we are here, and love him, and will help him fight and win his way back to us."

Kenji opened his eyes slowly, keeping them focused on the floor and drawing a few deep breaths, to calm himself down, and then he slowly raised his head, to look at his nephew where he lay so peacefully in the bed.

Yori looked at the bed and whimpered a tiny bit, his eyes filling with tears, and Kenji sobbed.

"Oh, Satoshi. My sweet Toshi-chan." Kenji sobbed again and moved closer to the bed, reaching out his hands to cup Satoshi's face but he stopped an inch or so from Satoshi's face, hesitating before he dared to touch Satoshi's hair ever so softly.

Yori stepped up beside Kenji and touched Satoshi's left arm gently, his voice filled with love. "We're here, Satoshi-san. Both of us. Masaaki is at home, waiting to see his uncle again. Please wake up soon, so you can come and see him."

Kenji nodded and sobbed, his voice failing him utterly, and he shook his head as he stepped back and wrapped his arms around Sand again, whispering to the elf, "I'm sorry, Masato-san. I'm sorry. This hurts so much. I can't find the strength right now. But I will come back, and I will find my strength. I promise you. We will bring Masaaki to see you both. Please forgive me for being weak."

Sand held on to Kenji tightly. "Please, Kenji-san, do not apologize to me. You are not weak, not at all. Please, believe me. Tanaka-sensei will tell you that I fainted." He drew back a moment, and looked at Kenji and Yori. "Give Masaaki many kisses from us both, and tell him that we would love to see him."

Yori hurried over to them and hugged Sand tightly, kissing Sand's cheek as he told the elf, "We'll come back as soon as we can, and we'll bring Masaaki. Be strong, Masato-san. We're here for you and Satoshi. He'll get through this. He's a fighter, he always has been."

Kenji and Yori hugged Sand again, one last time, and then Yori wrapped his arm around Kenji's waist, supporting his husband out of the room.

Willow gestured for Kohaku to go in, Matsu and Kiyoshi beside him. Kohaku was trembling visibly, and Vale stroked his arm as the singer went past, the blond elf giving Kohaku a look of gratitude and love for his steadfast presence.

When they stepped inside the room, Kohaku looked at Satoshi and began to sob, unable to help himself as he looked at his cherished friend. so lost in the bed full of metal and tubes and wires. Matsu and Kiyoshi were both visibly shaken, and Sand walked over to the three men.

Matsu stood beside Kohaku, an arm around the stricken singer, and Kiyoshi stepped forward, bowing a little, uncertain whether it was appropriate for him to hug Sand.

"If you need anything, Masato-san, please don't hesitate to call me, or Haruka. We're here to help with whatever you need." Kiyoshi said quietly, tugging on the pockets of his jacket, wanting nothing more than to hug Sand.

Sand held out his arms, his eyes wet but managing a small smile for Kiyoshi. "Oh, Kiyoshi-san, thank you for being here for our Satoshi. And Matsu-san, and Kohaku-san, my Satoshi's dear friends."

Matsu stroked Kohaku's back, his eyes filled with tears as he stared at Satoshi in the bed, and Kohaku wept openly, mumbling to himself an unintelligible stream of words, that sounded like prayers.

Kiyoshi breathed a little easier as Sand opened his arms, and Kiyoshi hugged him tightly.

Matsu tried to move, but Kohaku swayed on his feet when Matsu moved his arm, so Matsu held out an arm for Sand when Kiyoshi let the elf go, and his voice wavered when he spoke. "Please, if you need anything, Masato-san, anything at all, you can always call me. I feel terrible. He was so irritated when he left work yesterday." Matsu bit back a sob and brushed his hand over his eyes to brush away the tears in his lashes.

Sand hugged Kiyoshi, and then reached out to stroke Kohaku's cheek gently before gathering Kohaku into his arms and hugging him tightly. "I know, Kohaku-san, I know. But we will not lose him. He is so very strong, our Satoshi, and he will rise from this. Thank you, Matsu-san. Thank you."

Kohaku let out a loud sob and cried a little harder, his voice barely understandable when he forced his words out between sobs. "I'm sorry. I should have told management to just go fuck themselves. I knew he would never want to take that contract. I know he's not strong enough to be a star. I should have just told them to go fuck themselves and let him continue being an engineer. That's what he loves to do. I'm so sorry, Masato-san. I feel like this is all my fault."

Sand soothed Kohaku with great warmth in his voice. "It is not your fault at all, Kohaku-san. If anything, I irritated him endlessly with my calls and fretting. But this was just a terrible accident, something none of us could help." Sand stroked Kohaku's long hair gently. "You are his dearest friends, you three, and you know him for far longer than I, so you know what a fighter he can be. We will help him fight, and we will love him as endlessly as he loves us."

Kohaku shakily eased himself out of Sand's embrace and nodded, his voice still broken but his sobs a little slower. "You are right, he is a fighter. He's never been one to take things lying down. If you need anything, Masato-san, you call me. Day and night, I'll be here for you. Satoshi-san is now my number one priority."

Matsu stroked Kohaku's back and nodded at Sand. "We are both here for you, Masato-san. For whatever you need, whenever you need it."

Kiyoshi nodded and told Sand again that he was there too for both him and Satoshi.

"Thank you all, and I promise that I will not hesitate to ask." Sand smiled at the three men, feeling his courage and strength reviving as he felt the love that was present all around. He patted Kohaku's arm. "He will fuss at you terribly when he wakes, you know. He will threaten to withhold your coffee forever because your album will be late." Sand managed another little smile. "You know how he gets."

Kohaku blinked a little and sobbed again, shaking his head, "Fuck the album. I don't care about that right now. I'll delay it if I have to," he answered, his voice sounding slightly hurt, but Matsu cut in, stroking Kohaku's back.

"Don't be like that. Satoshi will fuss at you even more for being mean to Masato-san, when he's teasing you. We only had the final rendering left, so I can finish that. I know what Satoshi had planned. Although, now I fear that Kohaku-san is going to have to ween himself off that damned coffee, because no one at the studio knows what Satoshi writes on that little note he sends to the coffee shop."

Kohaku's eyes went a little round with terror and he moaned softly, muttering, "Oh, fuck, I'll die if I don't get my coffee."

Matsu couldn't help the grin that jumped up on his lips, as he glanced up at Sand, his eyes glittering with mirth for a moment.

"Well, then, perhaps we will need to bribe the young barista, hmm?" Sand patted Kohaku's arm gently. "I should not tease about so serious a thing as coffee. If you come to the house, I will let you play with my coffee machine. It does the most amazing things."

A tiny smile jumped up on Kohaku's lips, and he hugged Sand impulsively, squeezing the elf a little and his voice hitched as fresh tears started pouring down his cheeks, "I am sorry, my friend. I feel like I'm responsible for this whole mess. As much as I want him to be a star and bring joy to the world with his amazing talent, I knew better, and yet I did nothing. And be careful, I might just end up moving in to your house, if that coffee machine is so magical."

"I would love to see him become the star I know he is myself, but it will happen only when he is ready," Sand replied. "Do not think you were at fault, ever. And if you move in, you will need to bring your ladies, or our lives will be unbearable."

Kohaku actually managed a small chuckle at that, and winked at Sand, answering, "Now that would make me father of the year, since one daughter has been begging me for a palace like yours, while the other has been asking if she has to wait long before she can marry your son."

Matsu and Kiyoshi both chuckled a little at that, and they all heard Kiyoshi breath a little easier as he relaxed.

"You are all exhausted, I am sure. Go and sleep, and come back whenever you want." Sand embraced each man warmly, giving Kohaku an extra moment. "We are so lucky to have such dear friends."

They all promised they would be back at the first opportunity, and they would bring their wives and Kohaku promised he'd bring his daughters, who were both feeling anxious for Ryuu and the kids. The three men left, and Hideko nodded and took Tsutomu's hand as they emerged. Tsutomu hesitated, looking at Yuji and Vale, but Hideko tugged on his hand, silently insisting that he move. Vale nodded, smiling a little at Tsutomu encouragingly. Tsutomu bowed his head at Vale and entered the room with Hideko, sucking in a deep breath to brace himself as he passed through the doorway.

Sand looked up at Hideko and Tsutomu as they entered, Hideko's eyes filling with tears as she looked at Satoshi. Despite being a nurse, she was looking at Satoshi with the eyes of a friend, and her heart ached to see the slender man in the middle of the traction devices, tubes and wires, pale and bandaged within an inch of his life.

Tsutomu, on the other hand, gasped and began to sob, unable to hold back his emotions as he looked at Satoshi. Tsutomu let go of Hideko's hand, and leaned over the bed, his voice trembling with his crying. "Toshi-chan, what the fuck, man? You fucked up your bike. It's probably totaled. Toshi-chan? Don't do this. Wake up, man, this isn't funny. Come on, brother. You're the only one in this family who's always treated me like an equal, so don't go doing nothing stupid like dying or something fucked up like that. Please, Toshi-chan. Wake up, man."

Tsutomu rested his hand carefully on Satoshi's unbroken arm, utterly unaware of anyone else being in the room with them. Hideko covered her mouth with one hand to silence her own sobs, and her other arm wrapped around Sand's waist.

"I'm sorry, Masato-san," she whispered. "We're not very supportive are we? They are such good friends, him and Tsutomu. They always have been. Satoshi's never treated Tsutomu any different because of his class, and it made them even closer friends. If you need anything, I'm here, Masato-san. Anything at all." Hideko stroked Sand's back, and looked up at him with her nearly perfect eyes, filled with tears.

Sand hugged Hideko back gently, smiling down at the small woman who had opened her heart to a group of elves. "You are more support than you realize, Hideko-chan. You are like my own sister, and having you here is more comfort than my poor words can convey. And I do understand about Tsutomu and Satoshi. But you know, Hawk and Santhiel will be wanting to see him later as well. I am sure they will be at the house, and will be anxious to talk with him."

Hideko managed a small smile, her eyes full of love as they turned to her grieving husband, and she nodded, "Tsutomu could use their support right now. Even if it means bucket loads of whiskey and other entertainment. He likes both Hawk and Santhiel immensely. They're both like him, even if they're not working class. They're still those types of guys, you know. He jokingly calls Hawk great grandfather around the house, you know." Hideko lowered her voice and whispered the last words to Sand, making sure that doctor Tanaka would not hear her.

Tsutomu stroked Satoshi's hair gently and sobbed again as he righted himself, looking at Sand with a slightly bewildered look. Then he blinked and seemed to recall where he was and who Sand was. Tsutomu moved over to Sand and hugged him tightly, sobbing into the elf's shirt. "Make him better, please? He's my best friend, and my ally in this crazy ass family of ours. Please, fix him, Masato," Tsutomu pleaded, his tears melting into the fabric of Sand's scrub shirt.

Sand hugged Tsutomu, rubbing his back. "You know I will do everything I can and then more to bring him back to us. There is nothing I will not do for him, I promise you, and I will bring him home. You have my word, Tsutomu."

Tsutomu sobbed into Sand's shoulder a little bit longer, struggling to gain control over himself, and he nodded as he eased out of the embrace, his voice terribly wounded when he whispered, "Thank you, Masato. Thank you. I'm here if you need me, what little help I can give you."

Hideko moved over to the bed and kissed Satoshi's forehead gently, whispering to him, "I love you, Toshi-chan. Don't give me that look, I can call you Toshi-chan if I want to. I love you, and wake up soon."

Hideko moved over to Sand and Tsutomu and embraced them both, giving Sand a soft kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Masato-san. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything, or if these doctor types give you any trouble. I'll always be ready to help you with all of this medical crap. Now, come, my lovely trucker, let's go and get our son to bed. He's loving that he gets to stay up so late, but he's going to be a pain in the ass tomorrow just like you."

Hideko smiled gently as she spoke, easing an arm around Tsutomu's waist and tugging on him a little bit, but her perfect eyes were sad and small tears danced in her lashes.

Sand hugged both Hideko and Tsutomu, kissing Hideko's cheek. "Thank you both, for your love, and your support, and for your help. I know I will rely on you both a great deal, and I am glad to know I have such family."

Tsutomu nodded slowly and reluctantly let go of Sand, reminding him again to call if Sand ever needed anything, and then they left the room, arms tight around each other, and their love for each other as radiant as the daylight.

Takahiro looked up at Eric as Hideko and Tsutomu emerged from the room, and Willow nodded to them encouragingly. "Go on, you two. We'll go in after you."

Eric shivered visibly, but Takahiro grabbed Eric's hand and squared his shoulders, drawing a deep breath as he tugged the much taller Swede into the room. Eric bit his lip when he saw Sand standing by the bed, but Takahiro walked straight towards the blue eyed foreigner and hugged him tightly, whispering to him.

"We're here too, for you and Satoshi-san. I owe you two so much, so I'm here for you, whatever you need, alright?" Takahiro looked up at Sand and tried to smile, but his eyes darted to the side to glance at Satoshi and he shivered hard.

Sand hugged Takahiro back, and smiled his thanks, his smile fading a little as Takahiro shivered.

Eric stood behind Takahiro and stared wide eyed at Satoshi where he lay on the bed, seeming so small and fragile surrounded by all those machines and Eric started to sob for the first time since they had gotten the news.

Takahiro swallowed thickly and drew a deep breath, holding it in as he turned out of Sand's embrace and looked at Satoshi, his eyes widening and filling with tears. He grabbed his own mouth as he let out a loud moan, and then he sobbed as well, his hands visibly shaking.

"Oh, fuck. I had no idea it was this bad. Mori-san, I'm so sorry." Takahiro said between sobs, and Eric reached out a hand to touch Sand's arm, suddenly utterly unsure of himself.

Sand moved over to the two young men, putting an arm around each of them. "I know. It seems quite dire, but it is not as bad as it could have been, and I will hold on to that."

"He is a fighter, our Satoshi, and what he needs now is our love and our support as he fights his way back to us. I know he will return. I have absolute faith in that. I also know that he will hear you, on some level, if you speak to him." Sand looked at Takahiro and Eric in turn. "Do not be afraid to say what is in your heart."

Takahiro buried his face in Eric's chest and the tall blond rested his cheek against Sand's head, holding both of his friends close, fighting to regain control of his sobs. "We're here for you, Masato-san, like Takahiro-san said. If there is anything at all that we can help you with, we're here. And I know that my parents will be more than happy to help, too," Eric said and then slowly untangled himself from the embrace, moving Takahiro into Sand's embrace as the younger man continued to sob painfully.

Sand stroked Takahiro's back, making soft soothing noises as he comforted the young man who had become family during another tragedy. "It seems we suffer such dire catastrophes. I am so very sorry, Takahiro-kun."

Takahiro sobbed hard, looking up with tear filled eyes. "Don't be sorry. This isn't your fault. This is just bringing back memories of my dad. He died in a car accident when I was a kid. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be letting that affect me so much, but I can't help those memories. I'm just so happy that Satoshi-san survived, but I'm sad too. I'm sorry for being so selfish." Takahiro sobbed again, painfully hard, wiping his hand over his eyes to try and dry his tears.

Moving over to the bed, Eric leaned over Satoshi a little and spoke quietly, "We're here, Satoshi-san. I still haven't had a chance to show you the pictures of the dirt bike trip I took with my cousins in Sweden, or the kite that I brought back. You remember you wanted to see it. So, get better soon, so I can bring that damned thing over and we can fly it together. We might need more people to help us with it, because you're so short, but we'll see. It depends on how much wind we get. I'll stop by later this week, and maybe my folks will come too. I'll see you later."

"You are not selfish, Takahiro-kun, no more than I am when I told Satoshi that h needs to return because I cannot imagine a day without him in it. Our hearts will feel what they will, and we cannot change that." Sand managed a warm smile.

Takahiro nodded slowly, and his voice was shaky but his sobs were slowing. "I miss my dad sometimes, even though I can't really remember him much. I guess it just hurts to remember what happened to him, and then think that the same could have happened here. But I won't think about that anymore. Satoshi-san is alive, and he'll wake up soon. I know he will."

Takahiro squared his jaw stubbornly, and walked stiffly over to the bed when Eric moved aside, leaning over to pat Satoshi's unbroken arm, and then he said shakily, "I'll help you on your side of the kite. I've seen it, and we're probably going to have to tie that thing to the house so it won't take off with all of us in tow. Get better soon, Satoshi-san. Real soon, you hear?"

Eric managed a weak smile as he hugged Sand again quickly and then waited for Takahiro.

Sand looked at Eric with warmth in his eyes. "You are truly a wonderful friend, Eric. Thank you for your support, and for sitting here with us tonight. That cannot have been easy, and yet you do it so readily. It gives me the courage I need to go on."

Eric bowed his head and smiled, a little stronger. "I consider you and Satoshi-san to be friends. You guys aren't just Kansas's father figures anymore, you're actually friends. And I know that you would do the same for me. It's what friends do. And please don't hesitate to call if you need anything. I can even babysit if you guys need that."

Takahiro threw himself into Sand's arms again, and hugged him tightly, sobbing quietly as he promised to come by again soon. Then he slid under Eric's arm and they walked out of the room, fighting to hold back their tears.

Vale hugged Takahiro and Eric as they returned to the waiting room. He looked over at Willow, and when she nodded, he put his arm around Yuji. "Alright, my love. Let's go see Satoshi now. Lean on me, Yuji. Willow's right here as well."

Willow wrapped her arm around Yuji's waist and smiled lovingly at the blond. Yuji stared back with a dazed look, his voice broken when he asked Vale, "We're going to go see Satoshi now?"

Willow's smile faltered a little bit, and her eyes darkened with sorrow, but she was careful not to let Yuji see it. Vale managed not to let his own calm smile falter, although Willow saw the flicker in the depths of Vale's green eyes. "Yes, a'maelamin. We'll go in and see Satsoshi now. He's sleeping, but we can see him."

Vale and Willow guided Yuji into the room, and Sand's blue eyes filled with tears when he saw the state of Yuji. Yuji's perfect eyes were pale and distant as he let his two spouses lead him into the room, his mind utterly numb by now.

When he saw the bed, surrounded by the machines and Satoshi wrapped in bandages, casts and tubes Yuji let out a soft cry and his knees buckled for a moment. He had to struggle to get his feet under himself again, and to make them move as he staggered towards the bed, not quite aware that he was practically being carried by Willow and Vale.

Vale and Willow brought Yuji over to the chair, and helped him to sit, knowing he would not be able to stand, and Willow stayed with Yuji while Vale pulled Sand off to one side. Yuji sank down on the chair, his hands shaking violently and he barely dared to touch Satoshi's arm.

"Satoshi? Satoshi? Can you hear me? Please, my love, don't do this to me. Not again. Please, wake up. I know you need to sleep to help you heal but please wake up. Come back to me, my love," Yuji mumbled, his tears flowing down his face. He was utterly blind and deaf to the other people in the room. All he could see was Satoshi's face, so vulnerable and naked without his piercings.

Willow stroked Yuji's hair gently, fully aware that he did not even notice she was there. She stroked Satoshi's arm gently and whispered to him, "I love you, Satoshi-san. And don't you even think about lying here forever, or I'll have Vale Planewalk your ass back here. I'm not raising your crazy ass daughters on my own, you hear me? Let me tell you that Takara discovered trees today, and I'm not having Sorien climb up another one to get her. That's your job."

Willow's voice was filled with love as she spoke, strong and steady, but her eyes filled with tears for a moment, and she bit her lip to stop her chin from trembling.

Vale completely ignored the doctor's presence, his hands stroking Sand's face tenderly as he spoke to the moon elf in soft elven. "How are you doing, ithilamin? Seldarine, I can't believe this has happened to our Satoshi. But we'll manage. I don't want you to worry about anything except Satoshi, and taking care of yourself. You need to be strong for him. Leave everything else to me and to Willow."

"I am better, anoramin, or at least better than I was earlier tonight. All those here, our family and friends, this love and support has given me strength. I will endeavor not to lose sight of what I need to do, my love." Sand stroked Vale's cheeks just as lovingly. "What would I do without you and our wife, hm? You are so very good at taking care of us all."

"Don't be ridiculous," Vale replied, his smile filled with love. "I can run a Tower filled with contrary mages while being pestered by an idiot Lord and not turn a hair. I can handle this, ithilamin. Crisis is what I do best."

Vale looked over at Willow, and hurried to her side. "I'm here, lirimaer." He pressed a kiss to her thick auburn hair, while one hand drifted down to stroke Yuji's arm.

Willow nuzzled her nose into Vale's neck for a moment, then sighed a little and gave him a teasing little smile as she asked, "Switch now?"

"Absolutely. Go kiss our darkling husband, and I'll take care of Yuji." Vale stroked Willow's cheek and smiled at her, his green eyes beautiful.

Vale leaned over and nuzzled Yuji. "I'm here, my love. I'm here."

Sand pulled Willow into his arms, breathing in the sweet and slightly spicy scent of her hair, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. "How are you, vanimaer? How are you holding up under all this? I am so sorry. I have just not been able to leave him."

Willow stroked Sand's hair gently, her eyes filled with love. "I'm holding up fine. Don't worry about me, my love. Think about your Satoshi, and don't you dare be sorry. You are supposed to be here with him, and not leave his side. You have to promise me that you'll eat and drink, and try to sleep a little, at least so you don't fall over with exhaustion. But I do not expect you to leave his side. He is your Satoshi, your saiai, so your place is right here with him, my love." Willow's voice was soft and loving, her eyes bright, even though her sorrow was plain to see deep within.

"He was your love before he was mine," Sand said gently. "I do not forget that, and even though we have claimed each other's hand in marriage, we would not ever want to change how our family works."

"I know, my love. But he is your love first now, mine second. And trust me, there's no way I'd let you two go gallivanting off on your own. And I meant what I said about the kids. I do not go climbing into trees after your daughter. She was driving me nuts today." Willow managed to smile softly at the moon elf and then she glanced quickly over to check if the doctor could see them, before she smacked a quick kiss to Sand's lips, adding in a soft whisper, "I love you, Masato. I know you will bring him home again."

"I will, my Willow. I will bring him home, just as I brought Hawk home. There is no place that I will not go." Sand held Willow's face between his faintly scarred hands, his eyes holding the truth of his promise.

Willow nodded with a smile and touched Sand's cheek lovingly.

Yuji twitched a little when Vale nuzzled him, and he turned his head to look at Vale, the movement exaggeratedly slow. "He's hurting so bad. I can't help him. And his piercings are gone. We have to get his piercings. We can bring his acryl ones, because I don't think you can wear metal in the hospital. He can't be without his piercings. He'll chew a hole through one of these tubes if he doesn't have them." Yuji spoke with a low and broken voice, his tears falling unnoticed. He looked utterly lost and bewildered, his hands shaking constantly where it rested on the pillow beside Satoshi's head.

Vale nodded and pressed a tender kiss to Yuji's forehead. "We ask Tanaka-sensei, and we can bring his acryl piercings later today. We'll put them in together, you and me. I know how he needs those, and he looks so lost without them."

Yuji's lips twitched in something that could have been a smile, if his eyes had not been so lost, and he nodded, "Yes. I know how to put his piercings in. We can do that together. We'll bring your acryl piercings, Satoshi. So don't go gnawing on anything you're not allowed to, alright?" Yuji said, his voice hitching as he spoke to Satoshi, and then he let out a small cry, losing the tentative hold he had on himself.

Vale's slim hand reached over Yuji to stroke Satoshi's hair with sweet tenderness. "Oh, mela en'coiamin, this is just not the place for you." Vale let his fingers trail down to Satoshi's pale shoulder. "We're going to get you better, and get you home again. I promise you, and you know I don't break my promises."

Yuji sobbed at Vale's words, and shook his head hard, moaning, "I want to take him home. He shouldn't be here. Not again. I want to take him home."

Vale knelt beside the chair and pulled Yuji into his arms, holding his beloved husband tightly as Yuji sobbed. "As soon as he's well enough, my love. He needs to stay still, and sleep, and heal. We can't move him yet, or we'll break him even more. We'll bring him home as soon as we can."

Yuji nodded his head obediently against Vale's shoulder, his arms hanging limply between them, and he cried softly, unable to hold back his sorrow any more.

"That's it, my love. Let it out. You can't hold all that grief inside, my Yuji." Vale encouraged Yuji to weep, stroking Yuji's blond hair tenderly. His own Cheeks were wet, the tears slipping down silently as Vale watched Satoshi's chest rise and fall with each thump of the ventilator. Satoshi looked slender and fragile and so very lost, and Vale's heart ached as he watched his gentle husband.

Sand walked over to press a tender kiss to Yuji's hair as the other man stood, leaning heavily on Vale. Willow moved quickly to Yuji's other side. Yuji looked up at Sand, his eyes streaming with tears, and his voice choked with sobs. "I love you, Masato. Help him. Don't let him fall."

Sand cupped Yuji's face between his hands. "I swear to you, I will catch him. I love you, Yuji, and I will not fail."

Yuji trembled as he reached out to hold Sand tightly for a moment, but then he swayed a little on his feet and he reached out for Vale, with a small moan.

Vale looked at Sand. "He needs to go home. We'll be back later, ithilamin. Call me and tell me what you need."

Willow smacked another quick kiss to Sand's cheek, and said, "I'll tell the kids you're staying here. I'll bring them in small portions in the next day or two. I'll make sure Hawk and Mist get here as soon as they arrive, alright. I love you, Masato."

Sand watched as Vale and Willow guided Yuji out, and he sat back down beside Satoshi. "You see, saiai? We are all here, and we will fight with you to bring you back to us. Aishiteru, watashi no kokoro."

Tanaka walked over to Sand and laid a hand on the elf's shoulder. "He is very well loved, your husband." He reached into his pocket. "I heard your..." Tanaka's voice wavered, not quite sure how to define Vale and Yuji. "I heard your family speaking about your husband's piercings. We needed to remove them, and his rings as well. I have them here."

Tanaka handed Sand a small envelope, the clink of jewelry audible even with the clatter of the machines and monitors. Sand opened the envelope, taking out a ring. It had been clipped off, the bend severed and twisted, and Sand looked up, bewildered.

"Mori-san's fingers were damaged, and we could not get the rings off without cutting them. I'm so sorry. I know they must have a great deal of meaning." His eyes fell to Sand's hands, adorned with similar rings, the beautiful braided ring on his left ring finger bright. "We can allow the retainers used to keep piercings open."

"I will need to have these repaired," Sand said, his voice wavering a bit. "He will be so upset otherwise. These are all promises, you see, and we keep our promises in our family." Sand's voice broke a little and he stroked Satoshi's hair, Tanaka forgotten. "We always keep our promises. Never doubt that, saiai. There is nowhere too far for me to find you, and I will bring you home."

[Help! i can't find the WWE/WWF section!]

Hi!

First of all, the "zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only]" is exactly that - a category reserved for admin use only. Stories posted there are deleted.

The How to Add a Story FAQ is where you want to begin. This will show you how to navigate the jump menus to the correct subdomain, which in your case would be Celebrity. I would also suggest that you read the FAQ on disclaimers.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask!

[Can anyone help me find a fic?]

I believe the story you're looking for is Willpower by someonenotme.

[Sandcastles and Fireworks]

Sand managed to catch Kansas as he went limp, the elf staggering slightly, and Vale and Yuji hurried to help Sand. Between them, the three were able to ease the slender youth onto a couch, and Sand sat next to Kansas to gather him into his arms, fresh tears tracking down the elf's face.

"Oh, my poor Kansas," Sand murmured, leaning down to kiss the tear-stained cheeks of his youngest husband. "I am so sorry, my love."

Sand himself could not reach Satoshi through their bond, but the peculiar nature of their lifemate bond was allowing Sand to feel all the physical sensations that Satoshi endured. While waiting outside the surgical theater, Sand had contemplated this phenomenon, something he had not experienced with Vale since that bond had been one-sided at the time. Sand had concluded that perhaps being able to share the physical pain might have been the only way Satoshi could have endured, and for that reason, Sand gladly embraced the agony of experiencing surgery alongside Satoshi.

Sand found himself torn, however. He knew, privy as he was to many of Kansas's darkest memories, how very much Kansas depended on his link with Satoshi, and if that link was as silent as Sand's bond, Kansas would be understandably distraught. The only thing Sand could share, however, was the pain, and he was not sure Kansas could handle that. Sand could, however, link with Kansas himself, and then try to block out the pain so that Kansas would not feel it.

"Kansas, my love, link with me like you have linked with Satoshi. If I am able to touch him, you will feel that touch as well. It is all I have to offer, that and my love." Sand stroked Kansas's hair, hoping that the slender imp would hear him.

Kansas's gray eyes fluttered open, unfocused and dazed, his lips trembling, but there came a small stab of something through his bond with Sand, a painful slap of a touch before the disoriented youngster lost hold of his bond again. Fresh tears welled in his eyes and he moaned under his breath, "Too tired. Can't... I'm sorry."

Ryo moved tentatively closer to the couch, his fingers tugging on the hem of his sweater, but his voice was filled with confidence when he asked, "Can I help at all?"

Sand looked up at Ryo, his blue eyes dark with unfathomable pain and grief. "I do not know, but I know that Kansas loves you as a brother. Perhaps if he can rest a bit, and feel safe in his brother's arms?" Sand sighed a little. "For once, I have no answers, and even my questions falter."

Ryo nodded his head and sat down on Kansas's other side, opening his arms to gather Kansas into his embrace, his voice soft and gentle, taking on a tone that was very much like the soothing tone Satoshi so often used to calm Kansas when the little imp was upset.

"Nobody is hiding him from you, Kansas. Satoshi had an accident, remember. He's sleeping now, because the doctors had to fix him up. That's why you can't feel him right now," Ryo whispered into Kansas's thick hair, stroking his back gently, and Kansas's head moved slowly in a nod. "You see, Masato has been staying with Satoshi all night, while the doctors fixed him, so Satoshi is safe now. He's just sleeping until he gets better, and we can go and see him soon. Don't be afraid, because you know he's just sleeping. He's just sleeping."

Sand watched gratefully as Ryo soothed Kansas, and then he turned his attention back to the rest of the family. Vale handed Sand a square of pristine linen with a wry smile.

"In case you forgot your handkerchief," Vale said, and his fingers drifted through Sand's silky hair lovingly.

Sand let his head fall back a bit. "Sato-san, our extraordinary orderly, tells me that Tanaka-sensei will be by to let us know what is happening. I only saw Satoshi very briefly, and he was not awake." Sand stopped for a moment, his throat too tight for him to speak as he saw Satoshi on the gurney once again, the image burned into his brain. "I will ask that Tanaka-sensei and all of Satoshi's doctors and nurses share his information with all of you as they would with me or with Satoru-san. I know that is what Satoshi would want. I intend to stay here with Satoshi."

Yuji shuddered visibly and his knees gave out for a second, making him stumble. "What was he like? How badly hurt is he?" Yuji asked with a trembling voice, his eyes pale. Willow tried to lead Ryuu away from Sand and Yuji but the little boy twisted out of her grasp and ran over to Sand, wrapping his arms around Sand's waist tightly, looking up with dark eyes.

"Chichi will be alright, won't he, tousan? Please tell me he'll be alright. The doctor fixed him, right?" Ryuu asked with a small sob in his voice, his eyes darkening even more, small tears beginning to pearl in his lashes, and he refused to let go when Willow tried to pull him back.

Hideko held Tomio close, but Tsutomu sat on a couch behind them, his face buried in his hands, and Matsu, Kohaku and Kiyoshi all sat beside him, equally stricken.

Sand lifted Ryuu and held him tightly, burying his face in Ryuu's sweet-smelling hair for a moment. Sand then lifted his head and spoke directly to Ryuu, his eyes looking into Ryuu's eyes.

"Chichi has a lot of injuries, Ryuu-kun, and I know that it will sound scary when his doctor talks to us. But I know that the doctors and nurses were working very hard to fix chichi's injuries, and now we need to let him rest and heal." Sand stroked Ryuu's cheek gently. "I was frightened when I saw him, sochi-chan. It is alright to be a little frightened, I think, but we must also remember that chichi loves us very much, and he is not going to leave us. And we love him, and will not let him be lost."

Sand let Ryuu cuddle close while he looked at Yuji. "The doctor listed his injuries to me, and I could repeat the words, but I think it is best if he explains it to you. The doctor did say that he did not have any serious internal injuries, however, and that is very heartening."

Yuji nodded, and there was a collective sigh of relief from the group of friends that filled the small waiting room. Yuji lay a gentle hand on Sand's arm and tugged at him to sit down next to Yuji on one of the couches, his voice shaking only a tiny bit when he looked around the room.

"You need to eat. And drink something. You haven't had anything since tea time, and you need to keep up your strength. Lets find something to eat and drink for you."

Ryuu rested his head on Sand's shoulder, his small hand reaching up to tangle in the hair behind Sand's ear, his little gesture of affection that he reserved only for the elves, since toying with their earlobes made them uncomfortable. His voice was strong, although quiet when he told Sand, "I'll be here for you, tousan. You can lean on me. I'll be strong for you and chichi."

Sand leaned his cheek against Ryuu's soft hair, and his voice was filled with love for his son. "I know you will be here for us, watashi no ryu. Sato-san told me that you have been a hero, and have been helping everyone a great deal. You are so perfect, do you know that? Perhaps before Mama takes you home, we can let you tell chichi good night. We will ask the doctor, because I think that will be the best medicine for chichi."

Sand looked at Yuji and managed a ghost of a smile. "I did promise Tanaka-sensei that I would eat, yes. Perhaps a little soup and rice, and some tea? I do not know how much my stomach will tolerate, but I will keep my word."

In Ryo's arms, Kansas relaxed slowly, Ryo whispering to him constantly and rocking ever so slightly as he stroked his friend's hair. Kansas's body relaxed, and his silvery eyes fluttered closed, his breathing evened out and he fell into an uneasy sleep, Ryo holding him tightly, letting him find what peace he could find.

Eryn looked over at Hideko, the two women exchanging a small nod, prepared to grill Tanaka when he came to make sure that they got every detail from him. Erion jumped up quickly, and looked at Vale.

"I'll go down to the cafe and get some food. I don't think anyone wants more than soup and rice, and maybe a little omelette, and I'll get plenty of tea and some coffee as well." Erion looked over at Eric, who had stood as well, and gave his friend a smile. "Eric will help me."

"Thank you both," Vale said, handing Erion a wad of yen. "Maybe some vegetables and tofu in the soup, ai'edhel?"

Kohaku rose from his seat stiffly, his face pale and his voice strangely hoarse, and he bowed to the room in general as he said, "As selfish as it sounds, I think I need to excuse myself and find some place where I can smoke. I haven't had a cigarette in over six hours and I'm afraid I'll explode if I don't."

Matsu, Tsutomu, Kiyoshi and Takahiro all stood up and agreed with him, and after asking the nurses at the information desk the five of them headed out of the hallway, to the smoking area that was located in the hospital commons.

Satoru leaned back on the couch and took Eryn's hand gently, allowing himself to close his eyes for a moment and relax a little bit. Eryn stroked his forehead, her healer's senses making sure that Satoru was not overly stressed.

Momo eased himself out of Sadao's arms, who only stirred slightly in his sleep, and then Momo tiptoed out of the room, following the five men that had gone outside to find the smoking area.

Vale stroked Yuji's hair lovingly. "Why don't we take a small break and have a cigarette as well, a'maelamin? By the time we get back, maybe the doctor will be ready to talk to us, and we'll feel a bit better for moving around."

Yuji nodded and stood, his fingers lacing with Vale's fingers almost automatically.

Vale looked at Willow, his calm green eyes filled with love. "Sorry to leave you to hold the fort, lirimaer, but I think I'm close to exploding myself."

Willow smiled up at her blond elf. "Don't worry about it, sweets. We won't start without you."

Yuji stood rooted to the spot, his fingers laced with Vale's fingers, while Willow kissed Vale softly on the cheek and told them to go have a cigarette. She kissed Yuji too, but he responded so slow that the kiss was over before it even registered. Then Vale tugged gently on his hand and Yuji followed Vale blindly, his feet as heavy as his heart, and they found the other six men in the empty smoking lounge. Yuji stood still and stared at Vale, a little bewildered as the blond lit up.

Vale handed the lit cigarette to Yuji, and lit a second one for himself. He reached out and cupped Yuji's face tenderly as Yuji took a deep drag from the cigarette.

"I promised you we'd fix your cancer, and we did. I'm promising you again, my love. We'll fix this, no matter what." Vale looked into Yuji's perfect eyes, nearly black with Yuji's pain and grief. "There is nothing we won't do, and we won't lose Satoshi."

Yuji accepted the cigarette and stared into Vale's green eyes while the elf spoke, the meaning of his words clear to Yuji. Yuji sniffled loudly and wrapped his arms around Vale's neck, slumping into Vale's embrace and crying softly, his voice drowning in his tears as he whispered, "I wish it were me. He's suffered so much. He doesn't deserve this. I wish it were me in there. I'm so scared he'll give up this time because he's been so sick. This isn't fucking fair." Yuji buried his face in Vale's neck, his lit cigarette quite forgotten, and he cried more than he had dared to the whole night.

"It's not fucking fair, is it?" Vale murmured, holding Yuji tightly. "He's the gentlest, most loving soul of us all, and it sucks to see this happen to him, again. But we won't let him give up. We'll all be here for him, to remind him that we love him, and we need him, and we won't let him fall. We can catch him, and we will."

"And he'll blame himself for it. We will all be tired and worn out when he wakes up and then he'll blame himself for it. He always does. It makes me want to shake him or throttle him. I'm just so scared I'm not strong enough for him. I'm so scared, Vale," Yuji sobbed, his whole frame shaking, and Kiyoshi came up behind Yuji, stroking his back gently.

"We're here too, Yuji-san. We'll be here to help," Kiyoshi said quietly and Matsu, Momo and Kohaku all murmured their own promises of support.

"Lean on me, Yuji. I can carry us both for as long as you need me to," Vale said, and the quiet strength in his voice combined with his endless love to wash over Yuji in a cool wave. "You were all there for me when I fell, and you caught me, you and Satoshi. Let me pay you back. Let me be your strength."

Yuji nodded slowly, and his arms tightened around Vale. Their five friends stood by a little awkward for a moment, but then Kenji and Yori stepped into the smoking area and Kenji laid a hand on Yuji's back, his voice filled with emotion but steady. "You did this all by your self sixteen years ago, Yuji-san. But now we are all here. We will be here too, all of us. We will all be each other's strength in this, as well as Satoshi's strength."

Yori reached out and laid his healed right hand on Yuji's back as well, and Kiyoshi stroked Yuji's back gently. Kohaku and Matsu moved closer and laid a hand each on Vale's shoulders, and Momo and Tsutomu both laid a hand on Yuji's shoulder and back. They all stood silent, the only sound Yuji's soft crying, each of them thinking his own things, but all of them united in their determination to help not only Satoshi through this, but the whole family.

Vale could feel the strength in this incredible group of friends and family, and found his own strength growing from the quiet show of support. He knew they would be able to get through whatever lay ahead, as long as they were able to lean on each other, and his gratitude shone in his emerald eyes.

They managed to get in two cigarettes, except for Yuji who had not really smoked his first cigarette after the first drag. As they were heading back to the waiting room, Vale managed to hook his free arm around Kohaku, pulling the tall singer close. Kohaku looked at the blond elf in surprise, but Vale just smiled his beautiful, serene smile.

"You know, you really have become part of this family, Kohaku-san," Vale said. "If nothing else, even if not for any of your other wonderful ways of helping us, tonight has truly shown that. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I know you love Satoshi as much as we do, and I want you to know that I love you for that."

Kohaku stared a little wide eyed at Vale for a moment, then ducked his head a little and blushed faintly, a shy smile spreading over his lips. "Thank you, Akira-san. You are most wonderful to say that. Honestly I have adored Satoshi since the first day he told me to jump up my own ass. You could even say I have a crush on him. He is such a wonderful human being, so down to earth and untouched by any falsehood, or fakery. He never sugarcoats things or tries to give me what he thinks I want to hear. That's why I refuse to work with anyone but him."

Small tears filled Kohaku's eyes and his smile wavered, his voice sinking a little and shaking. "I love him. He is a dear, beloved friend, and you and your family have all welcomed me and my family so readily. He saved my career by just being himself, and I am terrified that he will not make it. I am terrified that I will lose yet another beloved friend, this one closer to me than any other I have ever had."

"We've overcome a great deal, and we'll overcome this," Vale said, and the confidence in his voice was absolute. "We got past Yuji's cancer, and my breakdown, and even Satoshi's broken ankle. We've had Kansas being very sick recently, and the loss of our sweet Kageoshi. All those things have only bound us together more firmly, and made us stronger." Vale shrugged a little, a sweet smile on his lips. "Who knows? Maybe it was to prepare us for this. All I know is that Satoshi is stronger than he thinks, and with our love, he'll make it. We're not losing him, Kohaku-san. I simply refuse to even consider the possibility."

Kohaku drew a deep breath and nodded his head, as he righted himself again, and that bright mischievous sparkle lighted in his eyes again, although fainter than usual. "You are right, Akira-san. Satoshi has always been strong, and he's overcome so much. He will overcome this. He'll be back, denying me my coffee before we even know." Kohaku tried to laugh but the sound was slightly forced, and his smile faltered a little.

Vale tightened his arm briefly, still smiling. "Well, right now we just have Yuki and Eric to contend with, and I'm pretty sure I smell coffee. It might not be your special coffee, or even good, for that matter, but it'll be hot."

When they returned to the waiting room, Erion was just arriving with Eric and two large boxes of food and drink. The young elf and the tall Swede busied themselves passing out containers of miso soup with vegetables and tofu, bowls of rice, and small containers of sweet omelette. They had also gotten some sweet rolls, in case anyone wanted just a small snack. There was hot tea, cool sweet tea, fruit juices for Tomio and Ryuu, and even several coffees, and Erion handed a coffee to Momo who moaned with near sexual bliss.

"The fish was about a hundred years old and completely dry, so we passed on that," Erion said as Momo kissed his cheek, and Erion blushed a little. He brought some food and tea over for Ryo, who was still cuddling Kansas. "I'll hold him for a bit so you can eat, Ryo-san."

Ryo blinked his eyes open, having half fallen asleep, without ever stopping murmuring to Kansas. Ryo looked down at Kansas, the little imp curled up in Ryo's embrace, his forehead furrowed and his eyes clamped shut, his hand fisting in Ryo's sweater as Kansas twitched and jerked in his sleep, but at least he was asleep.

"Just talk to him. It helps. Even though he's asleep, it helps. I'll take him again if he starts screaming. This is going to be hard for him, Yuki. This could possibly break him beyond repair. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid for him," Ryo said quietly as he eased Kansas into Erion's arms and got up from the couch.

Momo sat down next to a still sleeping Sadao, the older man instinctively moving his head to rest it on Momo's lap, but Momo only absentmindedly stroked Sadao's hair, his eyes trained on Erion, Ryo and Kansas.

Erion looked up at Ryo with tears in his eyes, already beginning the gentle litany that seemed to soothe Kansas, reminding him that Satoshi had been in an accident, and he was sleeping, and that was why Kansas could not feel him. Erion stroked Kansas's hair tenderly, the silver of his eyes fading to a dark grey as he crooned softly to Kansas. Kansas whimpered a little, but seemed to settle back down, and Erion took the chance to speak to Ryo, keeping his voice soft and gentle, hoping the cadence alone would still soothe Kansas.

"Then I'll have to be here to catch him, Ryo. I can't lose him. I've gone too far, and if he breaks, I break." Erion looked back down at Kansas for a moment, and then back up at Ryo, a tear slipping down his cheek. "I'm not scared of dying. I'm just scared that I won't die, and I'll have to be alone."

Ryo leaned over the couch a little, keeping his voice calm and low like Erion, but his eyes were fierce and full of the urgency of his words. "Do not talk about dying. Think about all the things that Kansas survived to get to where he is now. I know that you will never be able to replace Satoshi in his life, but if there is anyone who can help Kansas through this, it is you, Yuki. So, please do not talk about dying. You have me and the posse to help you through this. You have me and Momo to tell you the things that Yuji doesn't know about Kansas. So please. Be strong for him, and I will be strong for him, too. We will not let him break."

Ryo touched Erion's shoulder gently, nodding at the young elf, then he drew his hand over his eyes and stretched his back a little bit, saying quietly, "I really need a cigarette. Where is that smoking area again?" He walked away, giving Erion a small reassuring smile.

Momo reached across to the couch where Erion was sitting with Kansas and lay a hand on Erion's arm, whispering, "He's right, you know. You have me and the guys to help you out. We have to stick together here."

Erion nodded, his eyes lightening a bit, and he stroked Kansas with all the love in his fierce young heart. "I'm not giving up, believe me. I'll fight, for Satoshi and for Kansas," Erion murmured. "I'm okay with not being enough for him, just on my own. But it means a lot to me that I have you all at my back. Thank you, baby."

Erion looked at Sadao, sleeping peacefully with his head in Momo's lap, and he smiled. "You two look so perfect together, you know that? It's good with you?"

Momo smiled brightly, his whole face lighting up as he looked down at Sadao, and his hand instinctively slipped into Sadao's thick black hair. "He's perfect," Momo said and his eyes were filled with love when he looked up at Erion. "I'll never admit it to him, I'm too stubborn for that, and if you tell him, I'll tease your nipples until you fucking explode. But he's perfect. He understands me and knows me like no one has ever known me before. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like we've known each other all our lives. I love him, Yuki. With all my heart, I love him. I think I might even think about marrying him some day."

Erion's face lit up with pure happiness. "Momo, I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy for you both. This is perfect, and it couldn't be better." He paused, and then his grin grew mischievous. "Until I fucking explode, huh? Tempting, very tempting."

"Nympho," Momo mumbled back, then looked down at Sadao, who stirred and stretched like a lazy cat, his shirt riding up over his slender muscular torso, and Momo unconsciously licked his lips. Sadao groaned a little and then whacked Momo on the forehead hard enough to make an audible slap.

"You're a nympho. I can't even take a nap on your lap without you trying to poke my eye out," Sadao griped quietly, and sat up, his face a little wrinkled on one side from the creases in Momo's jeans.

Momo smiled brightly and leaned in to steal a quick kiss, and then whispered, "Aishi teru, Hajime."

Tanaka walked into the waiting room, and the entire family and all their friends fell silent, everyone turning to look at him. He looked briefly startled by how many people were in the small waiting room, but he spotted Sand and smiled a bit as Ryo slipped back into the room from having his cigarette.

"I see you're keeping your end of our bargain, Mori-san." Tanaka gestured at the empty soup container and the half-eaten bowl of rice in front of Sand. "You won't do your husband any good if you wind up in the bed next to him suffering from dehydration and exhaustion."

Sand nodded, his face still etched with lines of pain. Tanaka looked at him curiously for a moment, watching Sand massage his right arm unconsciously, long faintly scarred fingers tracing almost the exact path of where he had repaired Satoshi's arm. Tanaka shook his head slightly, and turned his attention to the room.

A blond foreigner and lovely auburn-haired woman seemed to be the most focused of the group, along with another slender dark-haired woman sitting next to an older Japanese man, a small Japanese woman with perfect eyes on his other side. Both women were watching Tanaka with coolly professional gazes.

Sand seemed to take Tanaka's hesitation for something different, because he collected himself enough to speak. "Tanaka-sensei, my husband has no secrets from anyone in this room. These are family and our closest friends, and you may speak to them with the same confidence with which you speak to me."

Tanaka nodded at Sand. "Thank you, Mori-san. I'd assumed that, but it's good to have it said. I am Tanaka Katsu, the lead surgeon on the team that worked on Mori Satoshi from the moment he was brought into the emergency room." He bowed politely as everyone bowed back, two small boys catching his eye as they stared at him with wide eyes. "Mori-san was in pretty bad shape when he arrived, and we worked hard to stabilize him. The good news is that while his injuries are extensive, there are almost no internal injuries. Most of the damage is broken bones, fractures and dislocations."

"What were the internal injuries?" Hideko asked, her voice brisk. "I am Nurse Furukawa Hideko, of Matsuzawa Hospital in Setagaya, where I worked under Dr. Hayashi Norio, and I've known Satoshi-san most of my life. He and my brother, Hayashi Yuji, have been best friends since high school. You don't need to talk down to me."

"Oh, you worked with Dr. Hayashi?" Tanaka asked.

"Yes, he is our father, actually," Hideko replied, and all but tapped her foot as she waited for her answer.

Tanaka nodded. "A fine man, your father. The internal injuries are a bruised left kidney, and that's quite minor, and a punctured left lung, which was caused by a broken rib. The lung has been reinflated, and is functioning well. Some very minor bleeding, easily dealt with."

Hideko nodded in return, her eyes quite fierce as she settled back and patted Satoru's arm.

Tanaka cleared his throat slightly and opened his mouth to continue, but Kansas chose that moment to wake up, his eyes wide and panicky until he spotted Sand. He slipped out of Erion's arms and skittered across to Sand, curling up on Sand's lap and clinging to him with a small whine.

"I want to see him. Why can't I go and see him?" Kansas looked at Sand, tears already forming in his pale eyes.

"When Tanaka-sensei is finished telling us how Satoshi is, we will see him, Kansas," Sand said, stroking Kansas's back gently. "Just a little longer, my love. Satoshi is sleeping right now."

Kansas's tears spilled down his cheeks, and he looked at Tanaka almost resentfully, but he subsided into Sand's arms, clinging to Sand desperately, his hand fisted in the scrub shirt Sand still wore. Tanaka noticed the slim silver-haired youth watching Kansas, his eyes filled with love and hurt in equal measures, under his grief.

"The worst damage was his right shoulder and arm, which required surgery to repair." Tanaka paused, choosing his words carefully, mindful of the two small boys in the room. "There are some other broken bones, and we think those will set well. But his arm and his hands might give us the most trouble."

Kohaku made a small, pained noise, and Matsu leaned over to rub his shoulder gently.

"Why is that?" It was the older dark-haired woman who spoke this time, her voice as professional and calm as any surgeon. "Forgive me. I am Mori Eri, Satoshi-san's stepmother. This is my husband, Mori Satoru, Satoshi-san's father. In my own country, I am a doctor, although I have not pursued licensing here."

Tanaka bowed slightly to Eryn. "Mori-san's hands were both broken, and his fingers have been damaged as well. We've set the bones, but there was some bleeding into the joints, and we won't know how badly nerve function was affected yet."

Eryn arched an eyebrow. "Again, Tanaka-sensei, why is that? I would think you would want to make sure of that as early as possible to avoid permanent damage."

"And you'd be right, Mori-sensei," Tanaka said. "However, because Mori-san's injuries are so extensive, we've placed him in a medically induced coma to give his body a chance to heal."

"He's in a coma?" Kansas asked, his voice beginning to rise into hysteria. Eryn got up and sat down next to Sand and Kansas, and Tanaka's eyes widened as he noticed the strong resemblance between Sand and Eryn.

"Kansas, it's alright. Sleep is what Satoshi needs to heal, sweetheart." Eryn looked into Kansas's eyes, her voice sweet and gentle. "He's just going to sleep for a little while, and then he'll be woken up. It's just sleep, sweetheart. Otherwise, he won't heal as quickly."

Kansas shivered a little, but he calmed down a bit as Eryn talked to him, and he reached out to slide into her arms.

"Thank you, okaasan," Sand said quietly, and looked at Tanaka. "Satoshi and I met and fell in love first, Tanaka-sensei. My mother was a widow, and his father a widower, and as fate would have it, they too fell in love. Satoshi insists that since we fell in love first, we are not truly stepbrothers." Sand's voice broke a little.

Ryuu got up and came over to sit with Sand, his gorgeous eyes solemn. "My chichi is sleeping?"

"Yes, he is," Tanaka said, answering Ryuu with great seriousness. "We're taking good care of him."

"I want to see him." Ryuu looked at Sand. "Tousan, I can see chichi, right?"

Sand looked at Tanaka as he held out his arms and gathered Ryuu close. "I think Ryuu needs to see his chichi. Our son is a very wise and brave boy."

Tomio came over to sit with Sand and Ryuu. "I'll go with him, too. We're cousins, and we take care of each other."

Tanaka crouched down. "From what Sato-san tells me, you're both very sensible and grown-up, so I think we can let you see Ryuu's chichi. I just want to explain a couple of things that you'll see, because they can be a little scary, even for grown-ups."

Ryuu nodded solemnly from Sand's lap, and Tomio sat up a little straighter.

"You heard me say that your father is sleeping, right? Well, we're using medicines to keep him very deeply asleep." Tanaka smiled reassuringly. "We have special machines that help people breathe when they're this deeply asleep. They look and sound a little scary, but they make sure that your father is getting the right amount of oxygen. The machine kind of hisses, and thumps a bit, like a grumpy old dragon."

Ryuu looked a bit wide-eyed and Tomio looked outright dubious, but they both nodded solemnly. "That's alright. I'm a little dragon, you see, so I won't be scared," Ryuu told Tanaka.

"I can tell you are a dragon, a very brave dragon," Tanaka agreed, and he smiled at the two boys before he continued.

"The other thing is that we have some pretty weird looking things holding his bones still. They look like crazy robots are trying to build themselves around your father, but you know what? They actually make sure it doesn't hurt as much." Tanaka smiled a little. "I'll be there, too, so if you want to know about anything, you can ask me, and I'll tell you, okay?"

"Okay," Ryuu said firmly. "When can we see my chichi?"

Tanaka looked at his watch. "He should be in his room about now. I'm going to go and make sure he's all settled in, and I'll send Sato-san to bring you down." Tanaka stood up. "It's best if only two or three people come in at a time, so I'll leave it to you to figure out how you want to do this. We're also going to ask that you keep it very short for this first visit, so we can finish getting him set up. You can come back during the visiting hours later today, of course."

"Thank you, Tanaka-sensei." The blond foreigner bowed politely. "I'm Hayashi Akira. We'll sort ourselves out and wait for Sato-san. Thank you, again, for taking care of Satoshi-san. He's very dear to all of us here, and we'll do whatever it takes to see him well again." Yuji choked back a sob, and Vale turned to put his arms around Yuji tenderly.

Tanaka took a last look around at the room full of people, all of them watching him with varying degrees of grief and hope. Not for the first time, Tanaka wished he had the sort of almost magical medical equipment in the science fiction movies his son loved, where he could heal broken bodies in minutes. Judging by the sheer number of people here, and he was told that some had gone home already, Mori Satoshi was greatly loved, and Tanaka hoped he would be able to reward their faith in him.