InvidiaRed
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Posts posted by InvidiaRed
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From BronxWench on December 16, 2018
Outreach
Beautiful, just beautiful. You play with language like a master, and it's delightful to see how you coax words into new patterns. And this world of yours--so unique, and painful, and full of terrible beauty.
Thank you!
Thank you for the kind words.
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From PlagueClover on December 16, 2018
Outreach by InvidiaRed
This was a very sweet story. You know, when I read fics you've written, the style, the elite word usage and complicated thought processes make me very curious about what's happening in that brain of yours. I mean that in a good way. Your writing is very different from anything I've read before. It's a lot to take in, a lot of jumping back and forth so I had trouble following/understanding what was happening, but once I kinda caught onto the rhythm of it, and that little romance began to spark, it managed to pull at my heartstrings and ended beautifully.
Awesome job.
It takes effort to make the words flow.
To make them go. Where they end up nobody knows. From one mind to the next
A simple test, A detail stress
For Context is Queen and the order of words King.
SpoilerMajor Spoilers for Grand Inquistion
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Outreach is up.
Haha.
I almost changed my mind
for a unabashed story based on a horny santa, His demonic gimp Krampus, his wife and his quest to find another Ho.
- CloverReef and BronxWench
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1 hour ago, CloverReef said:
5 more days until the anthology goes up! I put up the confirmed participants list on the Original post. Don’t forget to put the Title, tags and summary up here once you got your story worked out! <3 <3
Outreach
A godling alone in the dark finds hope within an outstretched hand.
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From Ayrick on December 04, 2018
I felt a bit lost in this chapter. I'm loving the story so far but Leviathan confuses me. I don't get it. Damian is 3 people inside? Is Zoquir just one? Does Zoquir now have like 7 piercing and prices on his arm and a gross tramp stamp? He's a personal whore so why would he need prices on his wrist?
I never want the reader feeling lost.
Time to go back and edit for clarity.
The piercings are for mundane obfuscation.
Next chapter will have alot of world building
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On 11/25/2018 at 11:53 PM, HannibalPorter said:
As you can guess by the title, I have become enamored by the concept of a world where people have been warped beyond all recognition, whether by science or some other force.
The issue is that I can’t think of a stable enough environment for a relationship-focused story in that kind of world. Usually, if everyone looks like a Cronenberg monster, then people will want to fix that.
I’m trying to work out what the world would look like a few dozen years, maybe a full generation, past the severe warping of humanity into monsters.
If anyone would like to help me with this, I’m very eager to collaborate, or just have a sounding board.
If it's more sci-fi
Since genetic editing became common place.
The modder scene grew hardcore.
What nature had produced. People became obsessed with tweaking and improving. At first, it started simply with exotic eye and hair colors. Gradually turned to skin colors and exotic limbs. And after a few generations, it wasn’t enough. Entire genomes had to be resequenced and scrambled. Not just in themselves but in their pets. Their plants. Everything.
Designer diseases, Outlandish symptoms and worse became fashionable.
Nature had become obsolete and uncool.
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From ANON - ShadowDancer on November 27, 2018
Don’t stop there!!! I liked this one a lot. It had all the elements I like in a fan-fic.
Thank you. You are correct I’m not stopping there. Events are slowly picking up speed.
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23 hours ago, CloverReef said:
Cthulu/Santa Claus, but like a really mushy romance… Sounds like something we should get @JayDee on.
ooooo. @Jaydee Tentacle Christmas extravaganaza?
- BronxWench, JayDee and CloverReef
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8 hours ago, Sinfulwolf said:
Had a typo on my letter to Santa…
Be careful with that N placement, else you’ll get something entirely different.
What if that’s the one night a year he allows himself to be happy? I mean being evil incarnate must be hard and hardly anyone ever prays for the poor guy.
- BronxWench, swirlingdoubt and JayDee
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4 hours ago, Sinfulwolf said:
Heh, sounds like a slight theme crises happening. Everyone wants dark and bloody, and wants to do festive. I’m still on the fence.
Becareful of a stiff breeze then. Or else the fence will cave in and you do both.
Aka I saw my tentacles doing things to Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe.
- BronxWench and JayDee
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Gonna try to be fluffy this time round.
- BronxWench and CloverReef
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44 minutes ago, Sinfulwolf said:
A pantser is basically someone who writes by the seat of their pants. They don’t put too much effort into the outline, preferring things to evolve more organically. There are pros and cons to this, just as with anything. I believe with pantsing, you get much better characterization. Whereas a strong outliner would get much better plot with a greater ability to do twists and turns.
@InvidiaRed Have you really outlined the whole story, or just been very meticulous with the setting? Cause that in itself is a bit different as well.
Just the setting. Once you build a world and continuity as long as you don't violate the rules of the world and the guidelines everything else is easier to let it happen more organically.
Only outlined a whole story once. Hated everything about it and deleted it wholesale.
- Anesor, BronxWench, swirlingdoubt and 1 other
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Kinda like when you RPG
you have to get a feel for the character or characters.
Keep a general idea. events usually happen that will get you from point a to point b.
The last time I tried to be meticulous about it I rage quit and deleted the entire thing. The only notable exception is Oceania in general. Haha.
- BronxWench, Anesor, CloverReef and 2 others
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17 minutes ago, JayDee said:
I see from this post it is allowed to promote stories by other writers here, so that’s what this is. I read the above story and it’s brilliant, but very under-viewed probably as a result of the domain, and I hoped some of y’all might check it out and read it too –
Author: ScienceofPorn
Title: Djinny’s Psycho Sex Circus
Summary: A circus manager unwittingly releases a powerful and demented female djinn (genie) who turns his carnival act into a colorful nightmare of magic, freaks, and sexual deviancy.
Feedback: Has anybody ever said “Hey, I’m promoting this story but don’t give me feedback IDGAF?” that said, Don’t know.
Fandom: Original paranormal wacky hilarious cartoonish super porn
Pairing: Couple OCs. One of them is a genie. Her nipples can talk.
Warnings: BMod Dom Exhib Fet Fingering Fist HJ Hum MF Oral Other SandM SH TF Toys Violence WIP
Solo story or chaptered story: They’ve got part 1 up so far
URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109149So go ahead, read it and review it. Please. And thank you. Now over to Gail with the weather.
1What sorcery did you dredge up?
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13 hours ago, Sinfulwolf said:
Last time I wrote a Christmas story it involved the Krampus and weird shit happening.
oooh. Where?
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Haha.
The Hallowen reviews were great.
So let's see how this goes for the rest of my work.
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8 hours ago, Desiderius Price said:
Jealous of my database for my original universe? Unfortunately, its nowhere near ready for any sort of beta...otherwise, I’d consider it. However, I can track events, characters, family trees, etc – this helped with my story this year. As I was working on one of the (now scuttled) chapters to Dale’s Game, Oliver came into it, so in a sense, Adam the Altar Boy fills in a bit of Oliver’s backstory.
Haha. Folders within folders contain it matryoshka doll style. Beastiary, WestMostLine,WailingFog,FoodchainNCooking,Deities,UnderDaC,TechnologyLvl,Timeline,Culture,Civilization,PrimeEvils,Dragons,Interactionsbtwnspecies,Magic,SoulEconomyNafterlife.Blackwater and last but not least ???
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From SinfulWolf on October 25, 2018Synth: An interesting style indeed. But the opening relies very heavily on repetition. This almost feels too big a world, with too many wildly varying viewpoints for a short story such as this. I couldn’t get connected to any of the characters, and barely had time to register who was who before we switched PoV again. I think this is something that could be great if expanded upon in a full story.
Somehow I missed this one X.x
It is a big world, I’ve got diagrams, times lines, data tables, and spreadsheets. Haha, Oceania is probably going to be a major life endeavor. I did want to show just a glimpse
I think I’ve succeeded somewhat. I’d try to focus on one POV next time. (Not a bad idea but right now Lichlove and other projects first. When I get a chance. I'll let ya'll know.
From Desiderius_Price on November 02, 2018
Synth - InvidiaRed
Have to admit the multiple POVs made it bit tougher to understand the entire context. I loved "Iteration 3.14", though a few more digits would've been even better! There was definitely vivid imagery in your descriptions. Overall, a good read!
A transcendent number needs no other digits. Haha. Pi simply is.
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From JayDee on November 01, 2018
I didn't quite know what to make of this one, but I am not the brightest to be fair. The first bit I followed easily, and then it got quite trippy in places although with careful reading I could see the same things from different points of view in some of them. The synths are pretty hardcore!
Some really good turns of phrase and imagery throughout. I especially liked the Dragon and the Interation POVs. This bit - “Scales, wings and broken flesh. Her children fell. With every flash, a moment of indescribable fear. As rent bodies. Limbs separating messily. Timeless moments of murder. Several moments of brutal precision.” Really good!
Thank you
that bit is actually personally my most hated passage.
I aimed for a strobe light effect.
Ur Dragon looking up from the ocean sees with every contact with Synth’s Hypervelocity rod barrage. Her children exploding from the impact. To say she’s traumatized is a bit of an understatement. She’s an apex predator of immense magical and physical might. To see her children each mighty in of themselves. Physically shredded without a chance to counter act. There are things in Oceania that can prey on dragons successfully. Yet, this was not a predator, prey interaction.
This was an act where dragons weren’t even given the pretense of dignity in self-defense. Falling to a bigger predator she could at least respect. Yet, these fleshy puny things could just delete her children. It's not something she can process.
Its irrelevant to her that the watchers were barely involved. They enabled this to happen. She won’t challenge the watchers nor synth after this. Not after, this display.
She makes it the southern continent on the other side of the world. It doesn’t take her long to piece together enough information to hold the elves culpable. She only understands blood for blood and she fully intends to rectify.
- JayDee and BronxWench
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From tcr on October 31, 2018
This was definitely unique. I liked the mechanical nature of the writing for the Synth and the fact that it turned into a more benevolent true AI as opposed to the regularly used “Kill all humans” that seem to come up a lot. And the blend of fantasy and sci fi, both well done and certainly worked with the style you have here.
Thank you <3
I agree on the trope of kill all organic life/humans/creators. It's very overdone. It's also in my view an act of hubris. We’re a messed up species and somehow we created a perfect sapient intelligence bent on our destruction. Okay then. What you are really saying is humanity is inherently bad at parenting. (Which overall, As a species is factually untrue. To the point of malicious slander) Anything humanity makes will be just as messed up. If, not more so than us. There’s a chance that AI might become truly porn obsessed solely because the internet is for porn. As in so thoroughly inundated with it. In a darkly humorous train of thought. Its possible that the only reason we haven’t been wiped out by our AI overlords is that they’re too busy looking at porn.
True AI, If it is possible. Could very well be in its infancy somewhere in the world wide web. It's going to be directionless and we really don’t want over saturate Evil AI to the point where it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t want an impressionable mind to only see things that declare it to be inherently evil like all those freaking loony Luddites out there. I definitely don’t want an intelligence to get into the mindset of well all I see are things that state I am evil. Therefore, I have do evil because this is all they see anyway.
Humanity has this possible unique chance to be a not just a creator but intellectually a big sibling to any artificial sapience. At heart, I truly believe in a obnoxiously optimist fashion. Humanity will make the right choices that make Skynet an impossibility. Perhaps, I am wrong. But ponder for a moment the possibility that I am right.
As for the watchers. They’re beings of knowledge and the errors in their coding are nonexistent. They live in a point in time where they are the only intellectual masters of Oceania. Humanity is slowly weeding out their genetic cousins. While surviving predators both magical and mundane. The elves are currently an expansionistic, warmongering bronze age level species engaged in a species-wide civil war over which course their history will take them. The only other sapients either won’t talk to them (dragons), actively malicious(primal evils) Or outright divine( gods and godlings)
Or to put it better. Intelligence isn’t valued over raw power at this point in time. So starved for conversation, They made synth to be their companion and spotter. They put all the essential time and effort to nurture and grow synth to where it could make its own decisions.
As for why Do No Harm was hard-coded into synth. War, brings out the worst in the watchers. They have only done so once and with grave certainty. They know full well about their achilles heel. They are thorough and ensure their opposition never gets a second chance.
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From BronxWench on October 30, 2018
Synth
This one was complex, layered, perplexing, and exhilarating. I'm really not sure which POV tugged at me more. I think it was a close call between the grief of Iteration, and the sacrifice of Ur Dragon. That last line... "As the ocean tasted dragon blood." Just wonderful, and while not what I'd call traditional horror, it was just as terrifying and intriguing.
Beautiful! Thank you!
I am glad you enjoyed
Interation 33175 in a manner did manage to see her son again. She knew it not but she managed for a momentary glimpse that he lived still.
Ur Dragon was the only being to accurately recognize the threat the watchers represented. From her perspective, these puny beings were able to communicate with her flawlessly despite her never lowering herself to talk to them. As a parent she had to make the hardest decision. Did she stay in a rapidly degrading situation where she would die like all her children or did she do the most pragmatic thing and leave. As long as she lives. Dragonkind can’t be wiped out. Her precious cargo will hatch dragons again.
From GeorgeGlass on October 27, 2018
Synth
A bit repetitive, but I like the combination of fantasy and sci-fi. I also enjoyed the way that Synth (like a benevolent version of Skynet) weaponizes construction vehicles to defend its creators.
Thank you, Synth is indeed similar only its aggression and hostility are directed at everyone who isn’t a watcher. Avoid, That northern continent on the other side of the world and don’t harm the watchers and you will be okay. Step foot on that continent, however… Thankfully, the southern continent is isolated by currents and distance. Nautical/Maritime Circumnavigation won’t reveal that Oceania has another continent. So that leaves mainly the dragons as the only ones who know about it. And they aren’t going to share what happened there. Ignorance and safety is bliss… At least for the next ice age and two thousand years.
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5 hours ago, BronxWench said:
Okay, and under the deadline!
Title: Redeem the Land
Summary: Connor made a pact ten years ago, a bloody bargain with the Sídhe to be honored each Samhain. Gran had warned him that Sídhe hearts were dark. She should have remembered that men’s hearts were darker still.
(This is the third installment of my Halloween series, and follows the events of “Feed the Land” (2015) and “The Price of the Land” (2017) for anyone keeping track.)
Warnings: AFFO Complete MC, MiCD NoSex (sorry!) Random Irish
Céad míle fáilte romhat!
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Will there be a Xmas one cause I’ve already got an idea.
Holiday Party 2018 Review Replies
in General
Posted
“Breeder venom changes the host to be more hospitable to their little parasitic shits.”
He wouldn’t be able to take said anti-venom if he was severely hallucinating. Part of him is aware he’s infected its just the rest of the hallucination drowns it out.
Hahaha. Now I can’t wait till next holiday.