InvidiaRed
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Posts posted by InvidiaRed
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18 hours ago, Tcr said:
Yep. Once posted, you are obligated by virtue of the writing Gods to keep it there!
Honestly, it's always good to have a wide selection of creepy and good humoured WAFF!
Besides, It is a slice of amber. A moment that is profoundly yours. So you can see yourself improve as a wordsmith.
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22 hours ago, InBrightestDay said:
*looks at the tone of my story*
*looks at the tone of every other story*
*realizes everyone else wrote either straight-up horror or dark comedy with heavy horror elements...and I basically wrote a warm fuzzies piece with the odd creepy element*
So...is it too late to just delete my story and disappear?
But Darling.
Like making chocolate ganache
Or a rich chocolate cake (An extra yolk is the secret) It requires sugar.
Horror requires a helping of light-hearted brevity. You can't have horror all the time or it gets stale, quaint. inexcusably tired.
Especially towards the cynical among us.
- InBrightestDay and JayDee
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From InBrightestDay on October 21, 2019
Immunda
Okay, time to be really pedantic: horseflies don't have mandibles (well, to be even more pedantic, they do, but the mandibles are part of the proboscis)
Moving on...
Well, it was inevitable, I suppose, that at least one of these stories was going to upset me, and this one did!
I think you did a really good job describing how the horror of the place works, how the citizens are all terrified pretty much all the time and it drives them into a sort of feral madness. The un-birthing scene at the end is pretty damn upsetting to read, and it was kind of stomach-churning imagining what is going to happen to Trias afterward and how gory that's going to get.
Guess it's a common idea to have a female paladin or cleric of some good deity or something like that be defeated and raped by dark forces, and this certainly plays out that basic plot well. It's also always just...really upsetting for me to read, I suppose.
Sorry I keep using that word.
Thanks for the review. It seems I overshot a bit. I was aiming for uncomfortable. Definitely not upsetting.
To be utmost correct. Horseflies do have “Stabbing mouthparts, two pairs of blades and a sponge.” Mandibles was the best way I figured to shorthand it. Proboscis tends to bring up images of mosquitoes and an itch. Having been bitten by a horsefly while hiking was painful and I have never hiked without insect repellant again.
Mortane is easily the darkest nation I’ve created. A literal hell on earth.
The inhabitants commit sins and do evil to protect themselves. In a roundabout way doing evil keeps them safe. It damns them in the process but damnation is a better state than what they currently have to endure. It makes them unappealing background noise to their vile gods. They will sell their souls for cheap because demons will at somepoint grow bored.
Being favored will make even the nicest citizen go on a murderous rampage because being cut down is vastly preferred to receiving the gods undivided attention. The Demon Emperor himself was the first unfortunate soul to gain all the favor of the gods of Mortane. He was Unpersoned. No one would go near him, no one would talk to him, there are no records of his existence and he endured this for a decade. When he snapped he had become little more than a reflection of the gods who made him suffer. His soul mangled beyond recognition and twisted.
The instant death spell that blasted his soul into the afterlife was the first act of mercy he had ever received. It was the moment the civilized gods aghast realized something was incredibly wrong with Mortane. In a manner much like cityfolk that are introduced via the most unfortunate circumstances to their feral rural cousins. Deliverance+The Hills have eyes+Silent Hill= Mortane.
Trias never called out to her goddess. Because she was terrified of what the gods would do to a being she loves. She wasn’t willing to put her goddess in danger. It was at this moment her goddess realized that the bonds of faith work both ways. Trias ignores the pleas of her goddess to leave Mortane. Trias never leaves Mortane. She gets back up and heads deeper into the heart of Mortane.
Interesting fact of the day. Sodomy is not the reason Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed. It was the fact the inhabitants were stupid enough to break sacred hospitality. It was this intolerable trespass that brought about the destruction of the cities. To intend to violate divine messengers is the very definition “They had it coming.”
This isn't the end of the story. The goddess demands justice from her fellow shepherds of civilization. An Accord is reached and the gods assemble a divine host.
The goddess herself will go to war. She will not allow this ignoble suffering upon her justicar. She can’t
A line in the sand has been drawn, The world will tremble as the full horrors of war are unleashed. To do anything else is an admission of weakness. There will be no diplomacy, No quarter given or taken. Either, This vile tribe will be put down like the rabid monstrosities they are...
Or the civilized gods will be massacred to the last.
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- JayDee and InBrightestDay
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On 10/14/2019 at 7:14 PM, Sinfulwolf said:
Well, seems mine is written and ready for posting.
Its tradition at this point to post after you <3
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From done on October 11, 2019
Nooooooo *cries* my poor Levi! WTF Troy?!
yay Harbingers happy teaching his....dare i say kids? about shapes lol.
Wolf without Damien- I'm here for it.
To be fair.
He’s a fledgling who got a direct order from the founder of the bloodline Vileblood himself. Part of the reason the Vileblood clan is one of the most powerful vampire clans is that Vileblood himself is the only one who has sire right. Which is to say. All vampires of this bloodline are his children. To be direct fledglings of a clan founder makes them incredibly powerful in comparison to say a common clanless rabble vampire.
That direct order from the clan founder supersedes all other orders. Like a direct order of a king to his subject or a central tenant from the highest religious authority.Except, at the same time.
The problem mostly stems from the arrogance of Vileblood himself.
They both really did think Levi would come quietly… Who’d be crazy enough to challenge a clan founder?
But he didn’t. So his purpose was invalidated and then suddenly out of the blue
Weeks later. That purpose just casually reveals himself, runs off
And Troy immediately gets ambushed. Troy survives just time to see this desperate flailing and the next thing he knows. A lash of fire grabs hold of Levi and drags him under.
Troy has somehow managed to fail this purpose three times within a couple of months so he’s definitely not thinking clearly.
Yes, Harbinger truly thinks of the ghouls he creates as his children. He's not wrong. So you got an angel surrounded by flesh-eating undead and he’s using colorful flashcards and wooden shapes trying to teach said undead.
Wolf this time around gets the spotlight for sure.
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Completed? say whaaaaaaat?
I've got way more questions than resolution.
Does Levi ever meet his mom?
When/how did Levi meet up with Wolf and Troy?
Who is this wizard and why is Levi on the way to meet him?
Where's Damien been this entire time? I find it hard to believe that soft hearted Wolf has managed to supress him this long on his own.
Where on earth is Paladin? Are Leviathin not capable of being in the same space at the same time? In which case.....how is Paladin with Leviathin?
Why is Levi with Troy? He trysts the vampires now?
What about the dude who just got his wings back and animates the dead? is he still in undermountain or is he living his best life causing chaos somewhere?
It was nice to know Paladin is a little man-whore though lol. And it was lovely for a character to FINALLY acknowledge that Levi maybe dark, but is in no way evil.
The Direct Sequel is almost finished Chapter One. Winter Fell . Hahaha.
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From TheFlamingDictator on October 07, 2019
I truly love the general vibe of the story. I like the fact that you slowly but surely manage to twist Harry into something more darker. I also really like that ti's a slow decent. Slowly but surely he comes into his more darker and baser urges. I like it. All in all it's a very cool concept. I can't wait to read more. Regardless of what happens, know this, you are a great writer.
With kind regards,
TheFlamingDictator
Thanks for the kind words.
Harry has never been a saint straight from JK’s Own mouth. I merely chose the perfect opportunity where the series grew darker with the return of Voldermort. These natural nexus points make perfect springboards to launch off of. Change the story a wee bit.
This is also a point where Dumbledore chose to isolate himself from Harry for the entire year. While Voldermort without a doubt will miss Barty Jr.’s competance and resolute loyalty. He’s still disposable. Since Voldermort has never wanted a friend. Voldermort knows for a fact that Barty Jr is exactly where he needs to be. His most favored disciple.
Harry brought Voldermort back. So now Harry himself is Barty’s objective to the exclusion of all else.
Harry’ is vulnerable more than ever now. His second murder is a complete accident. People tend to forget that Barty Jr. Is a zealot second if not tied with Bellatrix herself. And this Death Eater has direct access to Harry at a time where his vulnerability is at its peak.
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Well most of my list works.
Personally, my favorite is.
Rank: Yes, I will Notify Your Next Of Kin
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High Arcanist
Transcendent Magister
Those Above Heaven
Wizard Saint
Arch Arcana
The Twelve Thrones
Dodecatheon
The Twelve Pillars of The World
Pillars of Heaven
The Ascended
Ascendant Magi
Those Who Have Ascended
The Exalted Ones
The Twelve
Gods of The Twelve Part World
The Apotheosized
The Twelve Emperors
Those Above All
The Enobled
Those Beyond Names
Keepers of Excellence
The Ancestors
The Beatific Ones
Bodhisattva
The Elders
Elder One
Old God
Rulers of the Twelve Magics
Epic Arcanist
Exalted Magi
Those Grand High Archmagi
A World in One
The Twelve Empires
Those Above Nine
Beyonder
Those Who Surpass
The Deific Ones
The Twelve Part Council
Oh Shit Everything Within Twelve Miles Is Dead Because Of Your Stupidity
Yes I Will Notify Your Next Of Kin
I’m Sorry Your Insurance Doesn’t Cover Random Acts Of God
Curse Breakers
The Millenials
Milenium Magi
Ten Centuries Arcanum
Arcanum Absoluta
The Enduring Ones
The Endless
And that was everything that offhandedly came to mind.
- JayDee and BronxWench
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After living a normal mundane life.
When you die. You awake to find you are a prince of the slain. Not just any lord of the afterlife. But a lord of hell.
Within your hell you are almighty. Your will absolute. Mountains melt and oceans boil away with just a thought. But you can be undermined, supplanted, exiled, even banished from hell itself if you aren’t careful.
A deep and bitter war has been waged between factions for as long as anyone has ever known. Some who believe in redemption and rebirth struggle against those who don’t. Those who fell from their station, against that stand resolute in their station.
The corrupted among them who have rebelled against their station and are hellbent on claiming the entirety of hell for themselves. Ever since the discovery that tormented souls produce great amounts of tainted power. And damned souls are the only currency that can’t be fraudulently forged.
Who can you trust when the only souls who come to you rain from above and out of the vast cosmic multiverse. You get the dregs, The worst of the worst.
And now the fallen are targeting your vice. Your hell.
Will you stand alone?
Embrace the corruption?
Or will You rally with others and protect the damned souls that are your tutelary charges.
There is no right answer.
Now all of Hell is watching and it is time to make a choice.
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YAY!!! I’ve been waiting
- BronxWench, JayDee, CloverReef and 1 other
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24 minutes ago, CloverReef said:
Likely in October! I believe TCR intends to host it this years, so he’ll make an announcement soon if he still intends to!
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So when is AFF Halloween Party 2019 starting?
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From iamjmph on September 02, 2019
eh, it was going so well, and then you made harry wimp out and let voldemort win. That's just sad.
Thank you for the review.
Tarnished Lion is not an uber powerful harry story. This particular harry just used two unforgivables and riding high on the dark arts. He has to earn that power and he’s still growing and has a lot to learn about the dark arts. There will be intrigue and battles to come.
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On 9/1/2019 at 6:59 PM, GeorgeGlass said:
And I LOLed at the seeming randomness of “But for Me It Was Tuesday.” But some of these are definitely worth considering. Thanks, IVR!
The implications make it funnier.
banging the mom and daughter is so normal to him he just considers it another day. Probably fights off vampire gynoids from the future in the meantime just to make life interesting.
- JayDee and GeorgeGlass
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4 hours ago, GeorgeGlass said:
Once again, I am asking for a little of your collective title-formulating genius, because there’s a story I’ve been working on for over a year that still has no title. It’s a diary-format story told from the POV of a man who starts dating a woman who has a young daughter. He finds out that the woman has a secret fetish: She gets very turned on during sex if she knows that her daughter can hear her from the next room. The man, who likes little girls every bit as much as grown women, takes advantage of this situation and gradually increases the daughter’s exposure to his sexual activities with the mom, until the daughter is actually in the room watching them. Then, of course, he starts having her participate…
I’ve had several ideas for a title, but I’m not wild about any of them: “Bad Mom,” “One Bad Mother,” “Exploits,” and “Serena and Maya” (that’s the mom and daughter’s names). I’m hoping y’all might have some better suggestions.
Twofer
Mom and Daughter Special
Breaking Taboos
Keeping it in the family
Vice Spice In My Life
Sunday Special
Honey, I Knocked You Both Up At The Same Time
Mix It Up
Breaking Wild
But For Me It Was Tuesday
Kinky Mom, Kinkier Daughter
Diary Of A Mom and Daughter Fucker
Honey, I Seduced Your Daughter
Spicing up family time
Buy One Get One Free
A Two Package Deal
A Growing Fetish
How I met your daughter
An unexpected side effect of Exploring A Mom’s fetish
How Mom learned to share
My Daddy is your Daddy
Dating for two
- JayDee and GeorgeGlass
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2 hours ago, Runsinshadows said:
Hello again. Sorry to bug you people with this long post, but I am hoping you can help. I am in the mapping stages of a story in which I am playing around with shape shifters, werewolves, and vampires. It is case where the shifters are huntng the "bad" werewolves and vampires. However, not all are "bad".
To make this clear, let me explain a little. In the world I am creating, there were once only shape shifters and "living" vampires. They lived peacefully among humans, but kept what they were a secret. Just like with humans, they had those that refused to follow the rules, and over time evolved into the lycans, and and the more typical form of vampires.
Where I am running into trouble is with my desire to come up with terms for the "good" side. What I mean, is that lycans live in packs, they are lead by an alpha, the other members fall into the categories of beta, submissive, or omega. Their home range is called a lair.
Vampires are divided into clans, they live in groups called kisses. Their home range is called a nest. They are lead by masters. The rest fall into the category of either leader, childe, or fledgling. There is more to this, but I think that is enough to give you an idea of what I am doing with them.
Here is where I am hitting walls. I want the reader to be able to know the difference between a good or bad vampire just by the terms used.
I have tried using Google translator to find terms to replace the ones used for vampires, but what I am given is very close to the English word for the most part. I could maybe rethink things if I had alternatives for the words master, child, and vampire.
The shifters come in three types: Canindae(wolf), Felindae(large cats), and Serpendae(snake). They don't completely shift- think of a wolfman here.
I need alternatives for the words alpha, beta, and pack. There are no omegas among the shifters.
What do you call someone who isn't traditionally submissive, but who isn't aggressive enough to be a beta type?
I am uncertain if the Serpendae should be used at all. Snakes are seen by many as evil. But there are those who see them as good. The living vampires and the other two shifters have counterparts with the lycans, and vampires.
A lycan that turns into a snake just doesn't fit. I am not saying that they wouldn't be dangerous, but they would be like someone with throwing knives, when everyone else had guns.
Again, I am sorry for the long post, but the only other person I could ask, blinked at me and told me it was something I was going to have to decide for myself, which was no help at all.
Therianthropy is partially what you are looking for. D&D, in particular, started this quite strange obsession with blanketing shapeshifters into lycanthropy a strange trend that endures to this day for some inexplicable reason. (Asked WOTC but never got a reply back in 3.5 era days.)
A good source to kinda get a better idea.
https://whitewolf.fandom.com/wiki/Fera
White Wolf has very expansive lore. I prefer Old World of Darkness but to each their own. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel here. Werewolf:The Apocalypse
has terms for good and bad shifting breeds.
They also have a famous vampire line
called Vampire The Masquerade.
Start there.
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Can't lie, a lot of this has been confusing. The worlds are so different, intense and malicious (even the parts that aren't considered an afront to the heavens, seem quite...rigid), so i cant imagine putting that all down and making it make sense.
I can't help rooting for Levi. Anyone who's gone through half of what he's gone through- esp with the messed up Angel's test- deserves peace and freedom. And even with everything, 'monster' and 'whore' are the first thing people think. smh this under world though.
Wolf to me is the most confusing entity in here. Whats his other half for? Why does that menace have any power over him? Why can't leviathan end that half?
Can't wait for ch27. Why this litch won't just let the former prisoners be great is a mystery.
Thank you for the review
Yes, There is alot of things going on. Considering, I went the extra mile and not only stat’ed but busted out a buttload of minis and a portable banquet table and am actually playing this by hand. The first turn took a little over three hours.
Cause Its the finale and I was like fuck it pull out all the stops. Its the battle that’s been building since the beginning and to skip anything would be an injustice. I went back and put POV’s cause there’s what amounts to a zombie apocalypse in the top floors and a boss battle at its depths. The Battle Of Undermountain is underway.
I’m trying to cut down the chaos and desperately hoping its readable and enjoyable.
Levi- By far is and always will be one of my favorite characters. He could have been bitter and resentful towards the world.
By personal choice he’s not.
He just wants to live in it by his own terms even if the whole world will only see him as a monster or as some whore.
You are very astute.
Miriam, is the only one who has actively engaged, participated in and actively hunted down other sapient beings all because of their silver eyes.
To answer that question. I have to ask this.
Was Wolf a man that lived as a beast or is he a beast that has lived as a man? Is he one or the other? Which matters most if one loses what the other is?
The Silver Eyes aren’t insane as they truly do have another voice in their head. The ability to become a monster with a need for the passion of others is all dependant on the person. And none manifest the same way. If Leviathan just ups and murders Damien. It could make Wolf brain dead. Killing a being that is quite literally part of you is not mentally healthy. Especially if that being will do anything to ensure your survival regardless of your wishes.
That astute observation is quite fascinating.
Why indeed did morovith capture them and imprison them when he could have just let time do his dirty work and kill them. What benefit could there be to capture people and place them in a prison where they will never grow old, infirm and die of natural causes.
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A Price For Freedom
Terrible Mother Aspiring Teen
Wow!Mom Going For A Twofer
Ruin Your Own Life Mother
Drugs Are Bad But I’d Rather Live
Where The hell Is Child Protective Services
Between Cock And A Hard Place
Hell In A Handbasket
In Times Like These Prison Doesn’t Sound So Bad
Let Freedom Cum
Gay Porn Is Better Than Death
Be A Better Parent Or How I Did Gay Porn To Escape
Ungrateful Bitch
I Suck At This
Cum Doesn’t Taste So Bad
No Cooch For Miles
Good Thing There’s Viagra Cause Y’all Are Ugly As Hell
Pussy Desert : Hell For A Straight Guy
Are You There God? Cause You Fucked Me Over
My Gayporn Escapades
Why Yes Son I Do Suck Dick Better And Here’s Why I Got Plenty Of Practice
Pearldiver At A Sausagefest
Nothing But Sausage As Far As The Eye Can See But All I Want Is Clam
Beggars Can’t Be Choosers
Die Bitch Die Or How I Found The Cheapest Granny Farm To Send You To
Escaping Perdition
Cock Was My Salvation
Perdition or Purgatory
No Officer She OD’ed So It Isn’t Murder
Gay Porn Or Crippling Debt
Its Okay To Let Druggies Drown In Their Self Imposed Misery
The Adventures Of A Self Made Orphan
Blood Is Thicker Than Water But Cum Is Thicker Than Blood
What Do You Mean That Bitch Fell Down The Stairs
Salvation by Vice
Viceful Virtue
The Stairway To Heaven Is Covered In Cum
Apologies to My Ass
Prostate Punching For Punitive Damages Incurred by Inheriting Debt
No Girlfriend For Me Just Ass As Far As I Can See
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1 hour ago, CloverReef said:
Review For The Captain’s Cabin
@Tcr Well that’s good. I didn’t want to do the burp porn in a super predictable way. It was short but I was aiming for some semblance of ambiance lol. I’m glad it was still kinda funny though, because… well, it’s fucking burp porn. Thanks for the review.
Review for Dying for the Devil@InvidiaRed Man I would have totally watched that movie till the end instead of wandering off randomly halfway through the climax if there were more tentacles in it. TY for the review!
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I would use the term Hand or Keeper
Agent could work too.
Nobility generally had servants to buy things that could damage their social standing or reputation. Typically, personal vendors, hand-servants, housekeepers, servant managers etc... Essentially, intermediaries or intermediaries of intermediaries
whether or not the items were too base( How boorish) Put you in suspicion(what are you a criminal?) Or just plain weird as hell (what do you mean he wants 36 watermelons cut at a 34 degree angle and heated to exactly 89.5 degrees)
These vendors would be given a purse and instructed to buy whatever the noble in question wanted. Provided they didn’t draw attention to themselves, attempt to rip off the noble, steal and or ripoff said noble or noble house they were pretty much intentionally obscured and you’d never know the person next to you might be a fellow-commoner or a vendor/servant of a noble.
Depending on how snobbish the rich are. (Like servants are not meant to be seen) To (Why is this commoner talking to me?) to even (Holy shit! poor people are real)
There might be several layers of intermediaries each with their own functions regarding to Law, Trading, Storage and Delivery, Personal Items, Arts and other luxuries. Etc...
There could be an entire complex social industry powered by the nobility for the express purpose to remove the nobility altogether from the common day to day. Like celebrities on steroids.
So far removed the common folk that they simply can’t conceive non-nobility life.
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14 hours ago, CloverReef said:
Review for Dying for the Devil Chapter 1
@InvidiaRed First of all, thank you for the review. You’re the first review on this story! Yay! That deserves a prize! Second of all, I have no clue what you meant by that, or if that was just a typo, but since I love GoT sooo much it made me blush anyway. Thank you <3
Haha.
it was supposed to say I enjoy the slow burn you got going haha.
I know for a fact that you could give GoT a much better ending than what we got.
InvidiaRed's review responses
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Reality like to reminds us that nightmares walk among us every day. That pic is horrifying.