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That moment you’re rewriting a death scene and realize you should remove all sugar bowls from the house, just in case the perp drops by for a visit…..

Sorry, but I’m definitely stealing that for my storyverse! that’s just hilarious!

All that is background for the character, but that does not equal a good reason to tell the reader about it. There is not inherently any problem with a character having large tits...but why are we told the boob size of the females but not given a description of the dwarf tavern owner that is bound to be important to the main character? If I am blunt...what does these girls actually do in the first chapter? If the focus should be on your main character and him being average you could probably just as well tell the reader there are some babes working at the Inn without any specifics. You could continue with telling the reader about how the babes never looked in the direction of main character and that he feels insignificant and invisible around them. Some visual descriptions from the viewpoint of the main character as he dreams about them could work. You could also expand more about the main characters personality by him thinking about he never dared to ask them out since he recall how they reacted on customers trying take advantage of them could let you rescue some of details if they are important to you. I could also imagine to saving the visuals for later chapters and using the space in the first chapter to tell reader about the dwarf tavern owner and why the main character works for him instead of talking about the babes. I think you should devote more focus on showing this to the reader than girls working at the Inn. One option could be to alert the reader about the apocalyptical setting into the descriptions of the first chapter by having the elven sorceress working on the Inn because even with her spells she does not dare to travel alone in the wilderness. Her trying to assemble the coins to secure travel with a caravan for semi safe travel to her destination would frame the readers thoughts about the setting in the right direction. The important thing IMHO is that you should use the space of the first chapter to develop the main character and the setting. Visuals and details that advance those goals are a good idea, but telling the reader stuff that won’t matter until later chapters is a tricky business.

From Fairy-Slayer on July 10, 2021 Thanks! There are so many male canines in the Cartooniverse, it was hard to narrow it down to just six. Part of the point there was just to show that the judging is not an objective thing, and what some judges consider a strength of a performance, others consider a weakness. That was chiefly inspired by r34 art I’ve seen of Scooby with various other cartoon dogs. I put Brain and Gromit together because I think are very much cut from the same cloth: Unable to speak, but smarter than they ought to be. Well, I think I know what they’re going to do today. That’s probably true. She’d already shot her wad, as it were. C’mon, I had to have some comic relief in there. Hmmm, I think I could see it. Thank you, both for all your help and for the review!