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That’s what Uncle Joe always used to say!

From JayDee on June 01, 2021 Part 2! (basically the DM comments!) In terms of fairly brutal helpless darkfic it’s pretty fucking solid. Some interesting ideas -I’ve listed a couple bits that stood out – and it seems to be pushing on your existing storyline. I always figured Lucifer’s big advantage was his cunning and brain though, bit like Loki really. Is he gonna take it lying down? Absolutely not, He’s more concerned with the fact that for all the hard work he’s done in keeping the status quo that he personally and his poker buddies have done essentially means nothing. Since the main body for the gods has quietly chosen to destroy man. So by securing the aid of pretty much the designated bastard. There’s some small glimmer that it won’t all end in tears. He may act eviler than he truly is but it’s an entirely different thing to be the sextoy and gimp of a god of evil. For the general MM content – I’ve written a lot less of this so you might be better asking someone with a lot more writing experience to look it over. MORE SPOILER LIKE COMMENTS This Zahhak snake guy is way less funny to be around than the snake with puppets dude! But, not a complaint, you’re going for darkfic, right? Anyway, seems like these bunker dwelling assholes probably had it coming. Generally good guys don’t get bunkers. So, fuck ‘em. Let the god of evil have his fun. This is very much a every dog has his day. In this case, while the world is reeling from waking up a year later and a pandemic the evil gods have all the chaos they need to put their plans into motion. “Lucifer's knee erupted in a shower of divine ichor.” – Nothing wrong here, this is a great line! Fuckin’ kneecappin’ the devil. Then knocking another couple limbs off, pretty brutal! Also really cool of having Lucifer undo that zipper with his teeth and get a cock in the face. That’s…. that’s something I’ve not seen before I don’t think. I’ve seen coming all manner of noxious substances, and oviposition, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody coming fire ants, or other bugs. That’s a hell of good idea! Thanks Cumming swarms of vermin paints a vivid picture. Doesn’t it? Haha I kinda want to see you use it since I unironically love your writing. Its also something Ahriman really would do. Since canonically, He’s a god that chooses to be a bastard. ‘ It is not that I cannot create anything good, but that I will not. ‘ He’s very much the woke up and choose violence kinda guy. And nothing sounds as petty as losing your crops to a horde of locusts just because some random asshole wanted to rub one out. Lucifer having an Olympian buttplug in was also cool and this here: "You whore." Ahriman said, pleased that he didn't have to break in that unconquered hole. "You've been fucking an Olympian! Did they all have a turn? Of course, Zeus had a taste of you. You're going to catch something from that manwhore." That’s pretty funny. Solid bit of levity as he’s talking to his victim there. Of course, Zeus would fuck anything. I find it funny that Ahriman accuses of Zeus of having STI’s but here he’s literally giving luci vermin and likely exposing him to all the sexual infections. Ahriman is a god that sees the destruction or desecration of beautiful things as a beautiful thing. He finds beauty in ugliness and ugliness is beauty. He’s complimenting Lamashtu here because really does find her grotesque appearance wonderful. Growing the snake out to wrap it around Lucifier’s dick is another idea I really don’t think I’ve seen the like before. Really inventive! At this stage I’m not sure if it’s like a chastity-bondage device, or a living fleshlight. (Both, you say? Well played!) It was a multifold way to , prevent him from using his manhood and keep him randier than a bitch in heat and remind Luci than Ahriman’s pleasure is more important than his own. Lucifer is his gimp. His bitch. And since he’s filled to bursting with vermin he’s going nowhere for the moment. Pleasure venom swelling the balls is another cool image. It’s not like he’ll be using them and he has to feed that snakehead something haha. just the Antichrist chap and then the epilogue

Glad that you enjoyed the washing machine scene...I don’t know how many revisions of the scene that I deleted before I got my act together and made the scene work. I think I caused those linebreaks when the AFF editor was messing with the formating and I tried to fix it in a hurry. I did I quick read through and fixed those visible in the editor. Thank you forthe tip. When the ending comes you will now. Not many chapter left now, but lots of words to write. I will perhaps feature that scene in the next chapter. I have not decided really about Julia. The basic character is a tease that uses her great looks for favors, but there is always room for a deeper reason. I actually had foreshadowing for this in the first chapter with a picture of dogs on her wall. I also realize that I probably spent 8 chapter without revisiting the visuals of the room. I was inspired by the movie The Secretary when I wrote that scene. Good that you enjoyed it. That was the single most difficult scene to write. I don’t know how many revisions I did before I got my act together. Thank you for the encouragement.

Chapter Eight is up.