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Authors: Sparrow and InBrightestDay Title: Mortuus Orbis Summary: No one knows how it happens. Plucked seemingly at random from their everyday lives, they are drawn to another place, a world where dark clouds blanket the sky above a bustling metropolis gone eerily quiet. From different worlds and different times, hero and villain alike are drawn inexplicably to this dead world. Here they must band together, try to learn how they came here and find out if there’s a way home. There are more immediate concerns, though. It will take all of their skills to survive, and even that might not be enough. Because the city may be dead, but it is not empty. Feedback: Reviews and constructive criticism very much appreciated! Fandom: Misc Video Games/RPGs > Crossovers Warnings: Angst, Bigotry, BMod, Hum, MCD, M/F, MiCD, Minor2, Preg, Racist, Rape, Tent, UST, Violence, Xeno Solo or chaptered story: Chaptered URL: http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600091389 Review Reply thread: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/69143-mortuus-orbis-discussion-thread/ This is a collaborative project that Sparrow and I have been working on for quite a while now (going back to well before I finished WitS), and I’m happy to see it finally posted here. I’d say it’s mostly horror, though there’s definitely some character drama as well, and more action scenes happen as the story progresses.

Alright, I have a review for another story to write today, but I must leave soon, and I’m not entirely sure what the internet situation will be like. The review I can do on my phone, though it’ll take quite a while, but this will be easier to do here now, so with that in mind, reviewing another story being a thing done later today or tonight, for now let me finally address @Thundercloud’s review for the final chapter of The Woman in the Statue. About the action scene, believe it or not, I kind of figured that would be what happened, at least to some extent. If I do any future stories with Luzurial, I can go into more detail with how her powers work and hopefully establish more of an idea of just how much energy any given attack consumes, but with this setup (the fact that she’s in a weakened state for most of the story and can barely use any of her powers), the only one we knew about was divine fire, which uses 100% of Luzurial’s power, and then it very sklowly comes back. Aside from that, I couldn’t think of a good way to establish how the system worked without slowing down the action. I’m not saying there wasn’t a good way, mind you; I just didn’t think of it. I also knew right off the bat that I needed to keep this phase of the fighting shorter than the others...because it’s just fighting. It’s one of the things you get away with far more easily on film than you do in prose. In a movie or other visual medium, Eparlegna and Luzurial duking it out at full power is something I could show on screen in ten or fifteen seconds, but those seconds take a lot of descriptive text (the old saying, “a picture is worth a thousand words” is very true when you’re trying to describe something visually), and the longer that text went on the more it would start to drag. To that end, I did my best to cut it down, just having a few flashy attacks from Eparlegna (the tentacles and the red lightning) and then move into the character-based part of the fight with Luzurial’s interaction with the mortals, as you noted. Thank you! Milyn is sort of from someone else’s story (I’ve updated the Author’s Note to point that out, because I stupidly forgot about it at the time of posting ). TimeWise has shown up on this thread before for reviews, and the whole reason for that was my asking if I could create my own version of the character. Since Conversion, her story of origin, is a fantasy story set in a completely different world, so I had to find a real-world religion she would fit into. I looked at her name, and one source indicated that it might be based on the Slavic element milu, meaning “gracious” or “dear”, and built on that, thinking she might be Eastern Orthodox, and finally went with Serbian Orthodox and settled on Belgrade as the city where she was born. Her personality in her original story fit perfectly with what I wanted to do here, as she has a low opinion of herself but is clearly a rather unreliable narrator due to low self-esteem, and that fit with the idea that people have caught on that champions exist, but still haven’t quite figured out who they are. Thank you! JayDee had made a point during Whore of Heaven that God had fully trusted humanity to deal with Eparlegna on their own. Now, due to the focus on Luzurial as a character and her recovery from her trauma, I couldn’t not have her do that, but I really wanted to show that after 75 years of prep, humans are dangerous now, even to Eparlegna. It’s also a bit of character illustration for Eparlegna. He’s very calm and composed when things are going his way, as they are during WoH, but when things don’t go his way, he’s a very sore loser, and he will destroy the game before he will accept losing it. That scene was one I wrote even before I had finished the rest of the story, so JayDee had an advance preview. At the time I was just calling it “The Punishment of Eparlegna”, after the interlude in The Slumber Party of Evil Doom. I’ve always loved scenes where we get introduced to a really serious villain, and they’re more calm and quiet and all the more menacing for it. Thank you for following me all the way to the end here. I do indeed have more stories planned, and I hope you’ll enjoy them as well!

just reading “Keene's Really Good Week” if only we lived in that world

Yeah I think that is what I will do. The dad’s are fighting a “hoard” 5-10 outside, the mom’s bring kids into cellar, one pig walks in on the mom’s as they enter back into the main house and get killed, boy (Seth) mom is eaten on the floor where he can see it all happen. Dad (Thorin) comes in, throws the pig out the door and with no mercy, hacks away at the monster, still in eyesight of his son, this sets fear into his Seth’s mind about his own dad etc etc. in short breaking his mind. spell is used to remove that memory of events, creating the feeling of betrayal. yes?

Even though I should be saving all my writing mojo for my NaNoWriMo project, I’m like a desk lamp in that I’m useless without an outlet. Thus, chapter 2 of “Biological Imperative” is posted.

“How’s Abdul?” “He went after you and he’s in pieces.” “Ah, my wounds don’t look that bad do they? Luzurial healed me?” “No, he walked into the Lego Trap. He’s literally in pieces.” Makes a lot of sense! I do wonder if Kizzy after spending time amongst mortals would be less fast to sacrifice them. I mean, except Drew. Working with the mortals there was great, I think everyone’ll like the champion and there’s always a nice action moment when the tank kicks in! We had a discussion about this as I recall. You: Just remembered this. What’s that about? Me: *Looking baffled and slightly scared, poking Whore of Heaven with a stick* I… don’t know. The possibilities are endless! Lupa: “Who the fuck brought a one-legged man to an ass kicking contest?” *Sees Luzurial glare* Lupa: “...is what I heard those cabrons over there say.” Kevin: “I’m going put my foot right up your ass! And leave it there, to give my sump a break!” Definitely think you made the right choice. Hell, you could probably even fit in some stories during the year where she has caused to do her job around Kevin. Especially if he found himself in suipernatural hijinks – gonna be some Eparegna fans out looking for revenge etc etc! Whoohoo!