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Next year, I really need to create a trick-or-treater bingo card. Items would include at least 3 girls dressed as Elsa at least 5 boys dressed as Batman a whole family in themed costumes a mom wearing a decidedly inappropriate costume while escorting her kids around (This year’s was a slutty cop.)

Okay...no beta reader as usual, but by working a few hours past midnight for a couple of days I have managed to get the story finished. The Teen Slasher by Thundercloud Summary: The notorious teen slasher is active again and deputy officer James Ewan is charged with trying to keep a horny teenager safe that survived the massacre at the sorority house. Will he be able to keep the target safe or will he be fatally distracted by the nubile teen? Story Codes: M/F, F/F, MCD, Violence, COMPLETE

I actually did realize the gender before the actual sex, but there was a clear “wait...is it a girl moment” when I read it. Sam is a tricky name...one reason why my mind started down the wrong path might be something simple as it made sense for two brothers on the bed since you highlighted that Jenny was sitting opposite from them. I can most certainly see your argument and it is a good one. My thought is that it did not have to progress into an actual sex scene for there to erotic possibility. I suppose the thing I reacted on was that you had Freddie and Sam go down the lust path while Jenny was acting kind of emotionless. Nothing wrong with this of course, but it kind of gave the game away that she would go for murder. Having Jenny acting more passionate about that she was planning something for when father got home could perhaps worked to make it less clear where it was heading to give more surprise for (some) readers.

From GeorgeGlass on November 01, 2020 @GeorgeGlass Thank you for the review and detailed thoughts! I hope the pacing was about right and it’s cool to hear it rewarded a second read. Sorry about this. I had a lot more “said Bradley” “Said Tommy” originally, and then cut it back probably too far. I guess as it is I could argue they both sound really similar as dudebro types but it’s never good to unintentionally cause clarity issues for a reader. “C’mon, man, I live here. The women don’t wear bras. I see tits all day.” “Yeah, but look at this fireheaded ghost-looking girl’s pierced’ns.” “...Nice.” If it is, then it isn’t intentional! I’m not sure what version of Night on Earth had a pumpkin get fucked. I just think of the nature doc. Of course, it’s possible I did encounter this and forgot Townie over there’s got a multi-volume little black book Ronnie, too, she’s only going out the room to give Tommy some space with Shannon, otherwise they’d probably have to peel her off with a crowbar. Thanks! Go nuts! Like somewhere in his hindbrain a little voice is going “Two legs good, four legs bad, ok, but this one has two even though it feels like four somehow, oh grandma what big teeth you have...” I think we only ever saw him shoot one rapist in the dick, but I like to think there was a lot more of it off camera! Ack! For the second one it should be “or even barehanded”, because Tommy’s enhanced strength makes him fairly lethal even without all the muscles, but it won’t let me edit chapters now. I should have waited a week and re-read it before posting Thanks for pointing it out. For the ‘creaked heavily’ this is a phrase I’ve seen quite a few times (cliche alert!) to refer to the creak of wood or newer/stiffer types of leather to indicate it’s a deeper/base creak as opposed to the higher pitch creak of metal eg with an un-oiled hinge. At least, that’s how I’ve taken it to be used – it is entirely possible I’ve had a misunderstanding in which case I should probably have used ‘creaked loudly’. Another reason for her sitting so quiet and still, stopping it creaking out of noise-avoiding habit Thanks for pointing both of these out! General rule of thumb is if a sentence I’ve written doesn’t make sense it’s going to be an unintended rather than intended nonsense. Thanks! I was trying to fit a snake eyes roll in somewhere with the general snakiness, and that was pretty much my last shot at it. Glad it came off as a phrasing – I guess I didn’t crap out on that one! Thanks again to you, and the other folks, for the reviews. Always appreciated!

From Thundercloud on November 01, 2020 Thanks! I tried hard not to waste any words at the beginning. I do refer to Sam as “her” a few times during the intro, but I don’t really describe her physically until the sex scene starts, so I can see how you might have been unclear about Sam’s gender. Thanks! I was really aiming for that. Like Jenny seducing the dad? Given how he’d abused her and her lasting injury from it, I don’t think I could have made that believable. I would have had to make his abuse of her sexual rather than physical, and I didn’t want to take this particular story in that direction (especially since Jenny is the one under-18 character). Thanks for the review!

Thank you for the review (where I cut out the spoility part of the review, would be a shame to give final twist away for other people that happen to read this). I am glad that you enjoyed it considering how I struggled to get it done on time. I checked your chapter, but was a bit tired so I need to read it once more before the review.

I’ll get this read and reviewed later today, great to see another one for it! (Still holding out hopes for a BronxWench entry!) I am on the edge of my seat to find out if it is a slasher of teens or a teen who slashes, or a slasher of teens who is also a teen. I likes some title word play.

Still not done...but I have killed some of story gremlins that was impeding progress so there is hope to get my story working for Halloween…I hope it will be for this years Halloween.

Hi, I took a look at both profiles, and it looks like they belong to the same person based on information in our records. Given that we only allow one account per member, what I’m going to do is remove the Kirara_Grey account as a duplicate account. I do want to thank you for catching this one. We haven’t finished clean-up in either Inuyasha or Originals, and the older stories are rife with this sort of thing. But we really, really dislike plagiarists here on AFF, so we always are grateful to alert readers! Thank you!

thats one more bastard the log has sired. atleast Lincoln doesn’t have to help raise it. wont be long till all the women in royal woods is under the spell of the log