Leaderboard

He’d have to. There’s no worse universe-destroying paradox than accidentally handing a futuristic condom to one of your ancestors and preventing your own existence. Physicists call it a “temporal dick move.”

I’m begining to think I could do a flashfic for every AFF subdomain. Final Fantasy? Easy! Bleach? Do-able! YuGiOh? Guy gets a card cut on his dick. Easy. Celeb? Eh… no sex nonfic drabble description of the time I met someone famous for an autograph… Non English? Son pénis? C’est magnifique! Manga? I’ve read some! Inuyasha? That’s the leg humping demon right? YuYuwhatthefuck? ...Maybe do a request from the forum… It’s so crazy it just might fail horribly.

I’ll do you a story. It’ll have to be brief, though, because the forum rule says only short chunks of story (10 lines or something?) This is how it goes: Once upon a time a user called DBZshotaboy wanted to be in a story so badly he asked everyone he could find to write about him. He asked the good writers. He asked the bad writers. He even asked the Naruto fandom, but nobody said “Yes.” In fact, besides a curious moderator, nobody said anything at all. This made DBZshotaboy very sad. Finally, JayDee, huddled in their pit, took pity on the plucky youngster and said “I’ll do you a story. It’ll have to be brief, though, because the forum rule says only short chunks of story (10 lines or something?) This is how it goes:” Return to start

Wouldn’t that be a “temporal suicide”, not a “temporal dick move”. Now, if you handed a futuristic condom to one of someone else’s ancestors and prevented their existence, then that would be a “temporal dick move”.

Don’t encourage them. We’ll have clone jutsu everywhere, and who gets to clean up THAT mess?

1 gigalo = 109 gigolos

When I create a character, I’ll use a bit of software to randomly select things from a list (in a file). So, I start by creating random lists of traits, hobbies, phobias, and allergies; then sort, sift the lists until I settle on something reasonable. Give ‘em a birthday, unless there’s a compelling story reason, I’ll roll the dice. Then work out from there; for instance are they married? Cheating? Single? With kids? Without? Have living family? Occupation? Favorite color? etc.... A story or two is good too. More details, the better, for a main character. (Obviously, for a side character, or just a place holder, you don’t need as much). An indicator of a good workup means you should be able to answer … “For their birthday, their best friend (name) gave them ______.” I do lean a bit on the random pickers simply because I’ve had to create so many in my works, and this helps me make sure they each have something distinctively different. I also try to write this stuff down, because even if I don’t need to know the character has a shellfish allergy today, it could come in useful later (in my particular case, I changed it to an oyster allergy, letting me get that specific character sick w/o getting everybody else sick). At a certain point, each character does have a bit of me in it, implicitly. However, the goal I’ve got is so that a reader can take any (mildy-complex) quotation from the story, and be able to attribute it to the proper character. Is this perfect? Nope. I just hope it makes for a more interesting story. (btw, missing limbs can also add some flavor...where’s my machete? ).

@CloverReef Haha Yeah, I'm not even sure what i'm looking for myself. The character is definitely human, basically a priestess that abandoned her duties because she thought it was boring but that's about all I've got. It's one of those things where when writing for others, having them embodied into these OCs, I know exactly who their characters are (even if they sort of change from how i initially wanted to portray them as the story plays out), but I know exactly how i'm wanting scenes to play out. When writing a story catered to me, my alter ego or personality, or completely have the freedom to make her to be anyone i want, I have no idea.

Another review for Naruto the Cluck, and by extrordinary coincidence it’s the same as the one I got on Tinder – Thank you for your review, I really appreciate the feedback! This feels like a fairly common response to encountering one of my stories and, for this story at least, I urge you to follow your curiousity and see how it goes! Thanks again.

As the causer of many typos myself I am totally with you, Kid Coheed. It’s very easy to do and, hey, with any luck for you it’ll catch someone’e eye and get them to read the request and write out this pussy pounding extravaganza. Unfortunately I also see where the mirth making is coming from, as I can’t shake a mental image of Doc Brown muttering “1.21 Gigalos” in shock at his future self’s time travel requirements. Maybe in 1985 footlong cocks are available in any corner drug store, but in 1955 they're a little hard to come by.

Well, they’ve all got to end sometime, but I’m glad you liked the ending. I’d had it in mind from the beginning (which isn’t always the case with my story endings).

“Gigolo.” Just saying...

Nope, no consequences for the kids. Lola is too devious, and Mom and Dad are too clueless. There’s no way they could find out – for certain, at least. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ikXim4wevc

I'm not planning a sequel at this point, but it's likely that I will write a story at some point that will feature some Lincoln/Lana/Lola action. I’m a big fan of the twins.