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GeorgeGlass

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Status Updates posted by GeorgeGlass

  1. GeorgeGlass

    Ten questions I'd ask various superheroes if they were real:

    1. Squirrel Girl: What are you going to call yourself when you're forty?
    2. Black Panther and Aquaman: Shouldn't you guys be, like, at home settling trade disputes instead of running around in tight pants?
    3. Martian Manhunter: Suspenders with shorts? Is that a Martian thing?
    4. America Chavez: If you just gently poked some cookie dough with your finger, would it make star shapes?
    5. Iron Man: What do you do if you have an itch?
    6. Beast Boy: So, when you turn into an animal, is it always a boy animal?
    7. Wolverine: If you and Vandal Savage got in a fight, which of you do you think would get bored and go home first?
    8. The Flash: Do women actually like the speed thing? Because, you know...
    9. The Thing: Do you think the right moisturizer would help?
    10. Violet Parr: Have you ever searched your own name on a site called Rule34?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      @Strange_idea Certainly.

      @WillowDarkling Foal me once, shame on you. Foal me twice…

      @JayDee All I know is, dog welding is not something you should try in your garage on the weekend, I’ll tell you that.

    3. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      Well, squirrel girls both knows she's never going to and is ditzy enough to be totally caught off guard if she does. 

       

      They do both, but aqua man is an easily bored conqueror king first and a politician second, while t'challa's generally solving a trade dispute by hunting the most dangerous game. 

       

      With manhunter it's an "I'm every bit as strong as Superman and know EXACTLY what you just thought. What are you going to do?" thing. And probably easy to shape-shift into. 

       

      You KNOW Tony added some kind of massage device and it went wrong.

       

      This is actually Canon, but beast boy can turn into other humans (but isn't allowed to by writers) and even species like krytponians. Since several species are female only,  that would mean he can change genders. And if not he can borrow it from an animal. 

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Any character used to knock around with the Doom Patrol’s gonna be able to get freaky when the situation calls for it. They oughta bring back Danny the Street.

  2. GeorgeGlass

    While browsing Paheal, I accidentally clicked on an ad link, and now ads for Eve's Toys are appearing in the middle of news articles when I read them on my phone. Time to clear my cache, methinks.

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      Yeah, only that way can you get it back to the Bad Dragon adverts you’re normally seeing!

  3. GeorgeGlass

    My evolving list of chores:

    1. Clean and polish front door
    2. Buy caulk for cabinets
    3. Laundry

    1. Swap out front-door wreath that's been there since Christmas
    2. Clean and polish front door
    3. Buy caulk for cabinets
    4. Laundry

    1. Buy poison for wasps' nest on front door frame
    2. Swap out front-door wreath that's been there since Christmas
    3. Clean and polish front door
    4. Buy caulk for cabinets
    5. Laundry

    I’m never gonna get to that laundry.

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      1. Get invited to parlay with the wasp queen only to find yourself trapped as a breeding partner
      2. Somehow escape possibly involving a fellow prisoner spider, called Dave.
      3. Buy poison for wasps' nest on front door frame
      4. etc
    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      The good news: The wasps are dead. The front door is clean.

      The bad news: The laundry is untouched. And Dave didn’t make it.

      What am I going to tell his wife? She was planning to eat him tonight. I can’t just show up at her web with an apology and a Big Mac.

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      Dave! He so wanted to be eaten by his wife. That poor guy. If a big bac is no good, take her Little Mac. Dude’s boxing career is over anyway.

  4. GeorgeGlass

    Ten ways you'll explain to your grandkids all those pictures of you in a face mask.

    1. "This was right before I fought Goro in the semifinals."

    2. "Unfortunately, our Kickstarter campaign for M*A*S*H: The Musical only collected a dollar eighty-nine."

    3. “Yeah, your gramma really loved it when I’d put on this mask and- You know what, never mind.”

    4. “They used to make all the ugly kids wear these. I hope puberty is kinder to you than it was to me.”

    5. "...an' I did it all with nothin' but my horse, my pearl-handled six-shooter, an' that there mask."

    6. “I could teach you, but be warned: The way of the shinobi is not an easy one.”

    7. “On the up side, I got paid five hundred dollars for being on When Rhinoplasties Go Wrong.”

    8. “This was long before you could just buy a kit to make meth.”

    9. “Safe sex made one hell of a comeback in the 2020s.”

    10. “I tell you, the very last thing you want when you’re fighting zombies is to smash one in the head and get splatter in your mouth.”

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      Genius!

    2. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      It must be my age, but M*A*S*H: The Musical gave me the best laugh. Now you have me wondering which modern actors would be cast for the main roles… and who would play the helicopters?

      Still, all of them are fun. Now I’m almost tempted to start the process to have some grandkids of my own.

  5. GeorgeGlass

    I had to go to the post office yesterday. It was surprisingly busy, and it wasn’t easy to keep six feet away from everyone (although there were lines of tape on the floor for the folks standing in line). Ahead of me in line, a white man and a Latina woman got into an argument about one of them (I wasn’t sure who) cutting in front of them, and the guy told the woman to “go back to Mexico.” (Never mind that she spoke with an American accent.) Just overhearing that made me feel awful for the next hour. 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      There was a similar incident in my local post office a few years ago, where an older woman lashed out at a young Latina woman. To my great joy, I was not the only one telling the older woman that her language and attitude were completely uncalled for, and that she was in the wrong to begin with.

      But right now, I think we should all try to be a bit kinder. We need the kindness.

    3. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      @JayDee I wish you got to write the action for when Bree from Narnia tracks this guy down and punishes him properly  – whatever that means. (The guy is a horse’s ass, so it should fit.)

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      Horses do have a nasty bite to them. And they kick like a...uh… horse.

  6. GeorgeGlass

    If you have Netflix and you’re looking for a fun animated series to watch, I’d like to recommend Glitch Techs. The main characters are fun and likable (Miko’s way of speaking reminds me a lot of Star Butterfly’s), and the show is full of amusing video game references that even non-fanatics like me get.

  7. GeorgeGlass

    Feeling kind of bummed about my legit writing right now. 

    • 25 rejections (and counting) from agents regarding my first book.
    • Stuck on my second book.
    • No good ideas for my third book.

     Why is legit writing so much harder than smut?

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      https://www.myidentifiers.com/

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Don’t despair first and foremost. Rejection sucks but when all else fails you might have to end up doing it yourself.

    4. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Thanks for the support, all.

      FS, all of the responses from agents go something like this: Dear George, Thank you for including me in your agent queries. Unfortunately this doesn't feel like the right project for me at this time. I'm so sorry, but this is a pass for me. I wish you all the best in your endeavor. Sincerely, Agent X

      There is one bright spot: After posting this status update, I realized that I need to write something that is going to make me happy. So instead of going for another scifi epic, I’m going to try scifi comedy.

  8. GeorgeGlass

    I may diss my phone a lot, but I was very impressed a while back when I started dictating the final chapter of "Country Summer." Not only did it use a colon where I wanted it to --  instead of just writing the word "colon" -- but it put the chapter title in proper title case ("Chapter 11: Under the Stars"). You go, Google.

    1. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      Even better, a bunch of Ukrainians get to enjoy the story as well, since they’re already listening to all the recordings “for quality assurance purposes” anyway.

    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      I say let the Ukrainians have some fun. They’ve had a tough time of it lately.

  9. GeorgeGlass

    If stray cats were hot girls, my life would be a harem anime.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      You accidentally stroke a belly

      “BAKA!” *four sets of claws sink in.

    3. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      There's a few animes like that. One also has a grandiose swordswoman adorably scared of lightning that the protagonist always thought was a man. 

    4. Ghost-of-a-Chance

      Ghost-of-a-Chance

      I LOVE this! :rofl:

  10. GeorgeGlass

    All right, this one my phone didn't learn from me: When I typed "friends with," its first suggestion was "benefits."

    Okay, yes, that was actually what I was going to type, but that's beside the point. :)

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      At least it didn’t suggest “a pickup truck,” which would mean your phone thinks you use people. No, it sounds like your phone think’s you’re a nice guy and wants you to be happy.

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      or “friends with Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey and Monica” or it would mean your phone thinks you need to really over-specify 15 year ended sitcoms.

    4. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      I turned out to be the weird one cause I didn’t know what that meant. :spank2:

      and I gave her best friend a hug. Cause apparently not everyone sleeps with their friends.

  11. GeorgeGlass

    I’d like to salute the folks here who are doing NaNo this year. I’m still trying to finish the novel I started two NaNos ago, but I hope to be back in it with a new novel next year.

    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Same here. I need a year off, I think…

       

    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      I’ve never managed one but I think it is a heck of an achievement for those who do. Can totally understand needing a break!

  12. GeorgeGlass

    After all these years, I'm finally ready to confess: I killed the radio star and framed Video for it. Sadly, Video died in prison in 1998, but I hope this confirmation of his innocence brings some comfort to his two children, MP3 and Streaming.

    1. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      Sadly, Video was quote unquote massacred by the titan Internet and prison guards including forensic cleaning personnel requiring extensive therapy to recover from the trauma.

      Widow Writing is sure to be glad of such good news.

    2. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      are you sure that didn’t happen in your mind? or did you run him over or something

  13. GeorgeGlass

    Had to share this article about the benefits of our collective-favorite hobby:

    https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2019/10/how-fanfiction-improves-writing/599197/

    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Awesome article! I’m actually sort of torn that they didn’t mention us, but then again… :lol:

    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      The world isn’t ready. The consensus would break and then we’d all wake up in the stone age.  :angel:

       

  14. GeorgeGlass

    My birthday is tomorrow, and it’s a big one. Why didn’t I move to a planet with a larger orbit?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. WillowDarkling

      WillowDarkling

      Happy Birthday, George. :hug: :bday:

    3. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      :congratualtions::happykitten:

    4. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Thanks, everybody! 

  15. GeorgeGlass

    More of George’s Phone Follies: A while back, I had to delete my phone’s entire custom dictionary because every time I began typing a word that began with the letter F, it wouldn’t stop suggesting “fuckfuckfuckityfuck” (which I used ONCE in a chapter of “Country Summer”).

  16. GeorgeGlass

    For financial reasons (some self-inflicted, some because of my mother-in-law’s medical expenses), I am giving up cable TV. Will have to find some other way to watch The Loud House and Craig of the Creek. Or else my cartoon fanfics are going to be taking a Netflixy turn. 

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      That's gotta suck – still may be better than an HBO turn –

      Depths of George’s imagination: “We’re gonna need a lot more violence and swearing down here people.”

  17. GeorgeGlass

    Amphibia is totally worth watching. It’s much in the same vein as Gravity Falls and Star Vs the Forces of Evil. 

    1. Strange_idea

      Strange_idea

      Agreed. They're planning a between-season collection of shorts, too

    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Schweet. I liked the Gravity Falls shorts. 

  18. GeorgeGlass

    Why have I never met a female electrician? I get that carpentry and plumbing require a certain amount of upper-body strength, but does electrical work? Or is that profession just an impenetrable boys’ club?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      There’s a domestic and industrial firm near me that advertises itself specifically as “female electrical contractors”. Definitely some out there! Our regular plumber’s a woman too.

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      Ooh! Has anybody done an electricians romance yet and called it “Sparks” or similar?

    4. Praetor

      Praetor

           I thought I saw one when my neighbour’s apartment had a blow out but it turned out to be a costumed stripper and they were having a frat party or something.  I am sure there is a very boring answer involving trends in education and gender disparity in the work force.  I imagined it would level out since things are getting so complicated even car mechanics are now basically electricians and need degrees to keep up with the space ships they’re rolling out nowadays.  I remember my mind being blown when I got a new car that only had 1 key and could open and start the car from my house.  I imagine electricians are also having to become highly educated.

  19. GeorgeGlass

    Oh, for Christ’s sake. 

    Japan lifts whaling ban, as it tries to revive a dying industry

    1. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      “Japan’s Fisheries Agency has allocated the equivalent of about $463 million to supporting whaling for the 2019 fiscal year.”

      So the government is paying whalers to harvest an animal with fragile populations that people aren’t eating in the first place?  Looks like this emoji’s time has come once again:

      :ffs:

    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      Shinzō Abe is Captain Ahab confirmed.

    3. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      Breaks my heart more than a little bit. I have… conflicting feelings about hunting in general, and though whales are my favourite animals in the universe, I can be convinced hunting them isn’t a total outrage, provided it’s regulated, sustainable and obviously doesn’t touch the species with waning populations, but greedy people be dicks and almost always take shit too far. So no. Don’t touch my whales, dudes! 

  20. GeorgeGlass

    Was getting coffee at the office when I suddenly had the unbidden thought, “I oughta smurf you right up the smurfhole, you smurfing smurfer!”

    Thankfully, I don’t think anyone heard me laughing for no apparent reason.

    1. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      The weird part is I could almost swear I’ve heard that phrase before.

    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      There was some smutty smurf talk on an old family guy, and Urban Dictionary has some similar stuff – https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=smurf

      I’d imagine a lot of folks have independently used the word replacement possibilities of smurf filth… but it sounds like George’s own dirty mind nearly caused some workplace trouble :p Good thing nobody was around!

  21. GeorgeGlass

    My Scrabble app does not recognize “jahoobs” as a word. Those 88 points were rightfully mine.

    1. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      giphy.gif

    2. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      I’d have given you that one, as long as I get “fucknugget.”

    3. Kurahieiritr

      Kurahieiritr

      Probably some kind of anti jargon or profanity filter at work.

  22. GeorgeGlass

    So I’m wondering: When I finish my She-Ra and the Princesses of Power fanfic (God help me), should I request a new category for it, or should I post it with the stories from the old She-Ra show? (Last post there was in 2012.)

    1. JayDee

      JayDee

      Thundercats only has the one category for all the series’ so it looks like there’s some precedent for sticking new series in with 80s series! I guess it’ll take a mod to give the decision :)

    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      I suppose it would make sense to put it in the existing She-Ra category, as it’s just labeled “She-Ra” and doesn’t include the “Princess of Power” subtitle that would make it specific to the 80s series. 

    3. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      I think sticking with the original She-Ra category is certainly the quickest solution.

  23. GeorgeGlass

    I was reading the comments on a news article today, and someone mentioned that in Greek mythology, the male gods (chiefly Zeus) often lied for sex with women or raped them outright. Then another poster asked, “What if the version of Greek mythology that was passed down to us was the rule 34 fanfic of its time”?

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      The streets will run slick with entrails.

      For the glory of the eternally hungry wyrm demands the blood and organs of your enemies for its cocoon. 

       

    3. JayDee

      JayDee

      Please, I can only get so aroused.

    4. FairySlayer

      FairySlayer

      *whistles innocently* Zeus never could resist... (I’m pretty sure their wording was intentional.)

  24. GeorgeGlass

    As we traveled to my brother's place this morning for Thanksgiving, my wife said to every shuttle driver and airport worker, "Thank you for working today."

    She's awesome.

    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Happy Thanksgiving to you both!

    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      Thanks! It was great. Hope you had a happy one, too.

  25. GeorgeGlass

    My wife euphemistically refers to “Mia: Confessions of a Dickgirl” as my “detective story” because it’s about someone with a private dick.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. GeorgeGlass

      GeorgeGlass

      JayDee, I don’t think I’m familiar with that trope.

    3. Desiderius Price

      Desiderius Price

      @JayDee Is that woman named Bobbit?

    4. JayDee

      JayDee

      @GeorgeGlass A shame! It’s a classic :p

      Des – Reminds me I haven’t written nasty dick gore in years and years, must do it again sometimes.

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