InvidiaRed

Personally, I’m more of a roman opinion on them. Crucified on the side of the road as a warning to others.

From GeorgeGlass on January 03, 2022 Slither, by InvidiaRed There were some bits of language in here that I really liked (eg, the description of bacon as "the forbidden meat candy"). But I found the story hard to follow, mainly for the same reason that I found it hard to follow in "Vampire Gynoids From the Future": the confusing use of punctuation and sentence fragments. Take this paragraph: "As the serpent coiled like a lamb. A danger not just to the sheep but the shepherd as well." The first sentence is an introductory phrase that doesn't introduce anything, leaving the reader not knowing what was happening as the serpent coiled. The second sentence presumably describes the serpent but has no subject or verb to make that clear. Being an editor makes me hypersensitive to these things, so maybe others are better to interpret this story than I am. Feedback is always welcome! Part of that makes sense to my brain, and part of that is due to the mad character trying to describe something but not quite finding all the words. Or would it be ‘As the serpent coiled like the shape of a lamb. A danger not just the to the sheep but the shepherd as well.” that sounds better.

See you get it! If you must go, go all out if a female nobles does it spay her. Bam! no more problem.

If you’re going to do it go all out. His entire schlong with the family jewels turned to stone. jerkass noble walks in and comes out a eunuch (which is both fitting and underrepresented in fiction.) Nothing says plays nice more than a petrified reminder of the last noble who was under some mistaken belief he was a man.

Go with something gold and expensive and or an artifact , like an artificial beating heart that he was slapped so hard it popped out of its socket. Shiny and or magical would fit perfectly. any bling would do. Since most nobility in fantasy almost always carry an nauseating amount of gold and or jewels on their person out of some inflated sense of self importance. And it would fit the bill for a noble to entertain notions that they’re above the laws of the common rabble.

I do go more indepth on my personal review thread.

Slither Okay...I sort of read it to the end but honestly I didn't get it at all. It just seemed like random fights between gods about something that is not explained while namedropping the names of other gods again and again. I suppose there is a story buried in there, but I cannot make sense of why anything happened. The story doesn’t make sense unless you read all the holiday canon.

Slither Okay...I sort of read it to the end but honestly I didn't get it at all. It just seemed like random fights between gods about something that is not explained while namedropping the names of other gods again and again. I suppose there is a story burried in there, but I cannot make sense of why anything happened. Holiday canon,, is probably another one that should be compiled.

From Thundercloud on January 02, 2022 Vampire Gynoids From The Future I think this is one of your stories that I enjoyed most with its very cool scenery...except it does not feel like a complete story but more like a promotional extract from the real story. The bad bit is that it feels to me like you watching a tv-show and just before the last commercial break the thing happen with the Gynoid happen...but after the break there is nothing and I am left with the feeling that I read a build up for something that never came. I don't feel confused but rather like the story ended prematurely. The bottom line is that I think your material would work much better as a single larger story where you include the full story arc to its conclusion rather than giving us a string of stories where we are given puzzle pieces but never get to see things resolved. Thanks anyway for giving us this holiday story. This particular blend of Scifi and High Fantasy is pretty big Gods, Time Travel, Divine Schemes involving multiple timelines, Angelic Servant race that must have a master to function. Slumbering antediluvian horrors sleeping on dead worlds... Vampire Gynoids From the Future,, Dystopian AI, An nearly Inescapable infinite Mall with Murder Mannequins, A mind rapey star that wants you to be happy and is quite willing to sear a smiley face on your soul to do it and a distant planetoid that is so lonely it won’t let your ship ever leave A cloning facility where the facility and clones are all creepily obsessed with the poor hapless original, Eldritch abominations both attempting to help and or actively destroy the world without really understanding sapient beings on said world. A replicator swarm,, An insectile hive minded species who assimilated people mid-coitus and got addicted to sexual high, A slumbering living planet whose nightmares manifest as nightmare creatures, A yandere asteroid mining station and a Rogue Servitor robot faction that will forcefully cater to organics every whim with mandatory pampering hi-jacking a colony. Its a massive setting. I mean if you want to dive in by all means. Starfi and Sorcery is what I call this setting.

From Thundercloud on January 02, 2022 Vampire Gynoids From The Future I think this is one of your stories that I enjoyed most with its very cool scenery...except it does not feel like a complete story but more like a promotional extract from the real story. The bad bit is that it feels to me like you watching a tv-show and just before the last commercial break the thing happen with the Gynoid happen...but after the break there is nothing and I am left with the feeling that I read a build up for something that never came. I don't feel confused but rather like the story ended prematurely. The bottom line is that I think your material would work much better as a single larger story where you include the full story arc to its conclusion rather than giving us a string of stories where we are given puzzle pieces but never get to see things resolved. Thanks anyway for giving us this holiday story. Fair Point, I might gather all this particular holiday canon together, after my major projects are done.

From GeorgeGlass on December 29, 2021 Vampire Gynoids From The Future, by InvidiaRed I don't claim to understand the plot of this story, but there's certainly some vivid imagery. Thank you

From GeorgeGlass on December 29, 2021 Vampire Gynoids From The Future, by InvidiaRed I don't claim to understand the plot of this story, but there's certainly some vivid imagery. That’s A-okay 100%. The mixture of high fantasy and scifi can get weird. <3

I like to think of it like history itself. scenes should rhyme rather than repeat.

You’re good to go <3 take your time.

Take your time. Post whenever It’ll count Promise Its not going anywhere. Take care of yourself <3

Slither Direct Continuation of the holiday canon and sequel to Offering Sorrow In the shadow of the cataclysmic eruption of Yellowstone and the sinking of Cascadia Logan, Glykon and Pals find a little breathing room in the calm before the storm as more of Duncan’s children at long last come home. No Sex, Bigotry, Violence

Woo! I’ll take a look for before I post Slither <3

Take their aesthetic and go from there. For example, Bob Bob is a necromancer. Fantasy- The man before you clutches a staff made of a spinal column, His robes are black and his jewelry all have bones or skulls he attended by two skeletons one of whom is carrying a silver platter and the other is infront of him protectively Urban Fantasy- This man is unaware of your arrival. His boots are covered in dirt as he toils adding components best left unmentioned as he repairs his skeletal motorcycle from the excavated coffins around him. A despondent moan issues from the coffins as one by one they all uprose. His focus is entirely on his task of repairing his damaged cycle. His chaps and thick black leather jackets makes you think he’s a biker or some sort. He stands up ramrod straight suddenly as his ruby necklace flashes and then he turns. The ruby holding within it a fiery baleful eye. “ You’’ll do nicely.” Cyberpunk- There was crashing on the door as broken servos whirled in futility. “I know you are in there!” You turned frightened as the dead monitors one by flicker on despite being cannibalized for parts. “Do not attempt to adjust your television” The man’s voice snarked. Dead pale hands plunge through the old monitor and clasp the edges of the screen and then something. No! someone came through. A seamless transition of digital to physical. Brilliant white tattoos thrummed with vigor as the man pulled himself free. His skeletal markings pulsing in-time with with your heartbeat. Old jeans ripped and torn expose more of those garishly white bone tattoos. His t-shirt barely showcasing some ancient vintage band “Don’t worry Corpo scum. I’m sure, I’ll find a use for you… One way or another.” Space Fantasy- “Oh thank god.” Came a tired but relieved voice. You stir softly as the cyrogel disperses and is absorbed back into the capsule. You take a moment to look around. This was not the world promised in the brochure. Your capsule slowly opens and the faint stench death assault your lungs. There is a nervous employee with a holographic badge proudly displaying ‘BOB’ With a smiling emoji. “Holy shit, you’re dead!” You gasp in astonishment. “Mostly dead, Also means slightly alive and with the forbidden art the difference in degrees is staunchly important!” You shiver at the corpse, because that’s exactly what he was. Half his face was torn completely off revealing smooth bone and a rictus grin. “Mom always was worried that the cyrogenics capsule wouldn’t work so she fret until I was competent enough to master death. That’s neither here nor there.Right now I need you to vacate to level three if you please!” You look around the generational ship that was deathly quiet. “Where is everyone?” The employee looked agitated. “Okay, brief version and you really need to get to level three. Something hit the ship, everyone on this level is dead except for you… and we’re not alone.” A corpse smashes into your capsule wetly. Midwest/ Antebellum Fantasy- At first you were hesitant about the hired help. Yet, there they were skeletons dutifully holding out your corset, petticoats and even your hoopskirt. The moment you got out of bed and relieved yourself. They diligently helped you into your day clothes with nary a complaint. The dead maybe could be more useful than merely rotting inthe ground. There was a knock at the door and there was your favorite yank. Bob in his dark blues saber and revolver on his hip. You could feel death pulsing off the immaculately groomed pistol. “Time to go Miss!” WW2 – From the constant bombardment, the omnipresence of the artillery and the cries of the wounded and the dying. Winter had come and with it hell itself. They’d understand they all would. You just wanted to visit a random-city in Europe. You look at yourself in the mirror and try to ignore the haggard and haunted look upon your face. Your clothes shredded yet still somehow providing relief from the bitter chill. They all look at you with vacant eyes. You refused to die here… And they were all dead anyway. Just a few more days… Right? Then you could get rations again and then you could stop… You try to rub off the dead blood staining your lips, your cheeks. Tears streamed silently down your reflection and like scavenging wolves they scrambled to hug you. Your emerald ring throbbed and part of you wants to take it off. Death would be quick as you are torn apart yet you don’t. “Just a few more days. Bob!” The dead are not warm and there is no comfort. I look at fashion throughout the ages and try to mix and match. Sometimes it doesn’t work but when it does *chef kiss*

Isn’t there one that kidnaps greedy priests?

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxJeULM2N_MClun2g2QD0vG4XYKH6dkKeQ

I think I succeeded for the most part