Guest Dark Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 This is the only story that I will skim through the sex part while reading. As for the main conflict (the twins having broken up because of Amanda's stupidity), Alan is partly responsible for the lack of contact between the two since Amanda said that Alan didn't make the effort like Jack was. But then again, she didn't make an effort either. As I've said before, since the parents broke them up, making it where the twins couldn't be in the same room without someone thinking that something would happen. Now, the parents got what they wanted. Hopefully the twins get past this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Posted February 15, 2015 Report Share Posted February 15, 2015 JAshley, you're a cruel, cruel man! You post another great episode in the saga of Jack and Kayla with yet another cliff hanger bringing us back to the precipice of the last Jack/Kayla/kiss crisis! Have you no shame or mercy? I do enjoy the story despite your incessant cruelty to your readers with these cliff hangers. Keep up the great writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 So, anyone "hoping" Alan does something, as well as Jack (unintentionally), that gets Amanda to run away or something? The running away or anything else making Alan realize that he still loves her and that she truly loves him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YNP_Refugee Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 (edited) Don't know how Joe will work it out. I wait. Honestly I can not figure where he was going in/with this one. When I have no idea or prediction, that is when reading is the most fun for me. I figure most writers out quick. That is what comes from writing according to the rules. Edited February 16, 2015 by YNP_Refugee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest im a loser Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 This is sort of unrelated,but im a failure in life.I havent really tried at anything since 6th grade.now im in my early 20s and cant even pay my own bills! Fucking loser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COJimmyV Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 This is sort of unrelated,but im a failure in life.I havent really tried at anything since 6th grade.now im in my early 20s and cant even pay my own bills! Fucking loser. You're still young. You'll find your niche eventually. Everybody is different so don't be so hard on yourself. Find something you like and dig in. Rescue25 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COJimmyV Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 Don't know how Joe will work it out. I wait. Honestly I can not figure where he was going in/with this one. When I have no idea or prediction, that is when reading is the most fun for me. I figure most writers out quick. That is what comes from writing according to the rules. This could actually bring Kayla and Amanda closer together. I don't think Amanda is in love with Jack but she IS in love with the idea of Jack. Kayla could work with Jack to get Alan to step up his game in a non-sexual way and that would eventually get Alan and Amanda even closer. Then again, I haven't figured out Joe yet so why would I get it right now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chester57 Posted February 16, 2015 Report Share Posted February 16, 2015 One more nit to pick if you can stand it. Another character who MIGHT need a first name is Ms. Cartwright. I've felt for a while that she's going to have a larger role to play in your story. If so, then I've got four possibles: Carolyn, Elizabeth, Kristin or Victoria. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JohnnyBanana Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Jashley I'm stumped. Sort of. I don't think the twins end up together. I don't think they should because they definitely have to break up eventually and you'd be writing the same chapters twice when that time came. I liked the part with Craig though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gorbox Posted February 17, 2015 Report Share Posted February 17, 2015 Say Jashley, don't know if you've written this before, but approximately what year does this take place in? Or is that a secret to keep the story timeless? Love the story, been following it since The olden days at the previous site that shall not be named, will follow it until the end! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JohnnyBanana Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Say Jashley, don't know if you've written this before, but approximately what year does this take place in? Or is that a secret to keep the story timeless? Love the story, been following it since The olden days at the previous site that shall not be named, will follow it until the end! Interesting...I'd never considered the possibility of this taking place 30 years ago even if it is loosely based on Jashley's life and the lack of current events makes it almost impossible to tell. Although the one thing that just came to me was the cellphones. Brad had an ancient flip phone. I'd say this has to be in 2015. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YNP_Refugee Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 (edited) Interesting...I'd never considered the possibility of this taking place 30 years ago even if it is loosely based on Jashley's life and the lack of current events makes it almost impossible to tell. Although the one thing that just came to me was the cellphones. Brad had an ancient flip phone. I'd say this has to be in 2015. More than that. The primary format of the High School day has changed in that time. I skipped my 30th class reunion last year. There were no double periods in general. Some individual classes may have had them but the schools majority population changed classes every 55 minutes with a 15 minute break for 'brunch' and 30 minute or 1 hour lunch (depending on school district), 5 days a week. It was possible to pick up morning and/or afternoon bonus periods for academics but it was normally morning if you were in band and afternoon for sports, pep, drill, etc. We went 9 months and had summer vacations. There were also year round districts but I do not know much about them. Edited February 18, 2015 by YNP_Refugee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Litoris Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Considering that Christmas in this story was published right around Christmas in real life, and Valentines Day as well, I'd say this is written in pretty much real time. So, around 2014-2015. Even in the first Chapter, where he talks about how his clock is ancient because it doesn't have any USB/iPod connection, it would definitely be based on very recent years. All the video games Jack plays, like Bioshock: Infinite, Skyrim, etc. are also pretty much dead giveaways that this is recent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chester57 Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 All the video games Jack plays, like Bioshock: Infinite, Skyrim, etc. are also pretty much dead giveaways that this is recent. Time for Jack to upgrade to a PS4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JohnnyBanana Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Time for Jack to upgrade to a PS4. No, the next saga is the Xbox One vs. PS4 saga! Jack ultimately decides to spice up his life and goes with the Xbone. Not before the family is torn apart because of the decision, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 No, the next saga is PC vs WiiU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 The parents have only themselves to blame if the family is torn apart. They may object and say that they were trying to protect their children. but newsflash: you can't protect them from everything. So, if they try to say something if they find out about what Amanda did to Jack and what happened that night, Jack could respond "You made them afraid of even being in the same room together for fear of being yelled at. YOU were the ones who destroyed them and this family. I hope you are proud of yourselves!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest justaquestion Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 My guess is that Amanda and Alan split for good. It'll start off rough, one will start seeing someone from school the other will become jealous of what he/she had (my bet Amanda will be first to date other people but could go either way) I say Amanda because I see Alan getting mad at jack for not doing more. Just one theory but I'd love to hear what everyone else is thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COJimmyV Posted February 18, 2015 Report Share Posted February 18, 2015 Alan is gonna be messed up for a bit. Not sure if he will try to get revenge on Amanda or Jack but he will probably have a hard time keeping what is bothering him from the parents and that could potentially open up a whole new can of worms. This saga might get a lot worse before it gets better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JohnnyBanana Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Can we hurry through it though? I wanna get to the Xbone saga as quick as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 I agree with the prior comment. Hopefully this is all resolved in chapter 27. If not, then chapter 28 max. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chester57 Posted February 19, 2015 Report Share Posted February 19, 2015 Can we hurry through it though? I agree with the prior comment. Hopefully this is all resolved in chapter 27. If not, then chapter 28 max. I'll third the motion. Dad over-reacted and is now behaving like a paranoid dick. It's up to him to fix it unless Jack pulls a miracle (always possible). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 So, everyone is agreed that the parents fucked up and noq the twins are paying for it, as well as Jack since the twins are tooo scared by the parents to be near each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JohnnyBanana Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 So, everyone is agreed that the parents fucked up and noq the twins are paying for it, as well as Jack since the twins are tooo scared by the parents to be near each other.Well I was making a joke at first, to be honest. I don't want jashley to hurry anything. I'm happy reading whatever he types up, to be honest. I think the parents were right to act on it before it was too late. They went wrong in letting it happen after they first found out. That's where they fucked up. But Alan and Amanda can't keep it up forever. Better now than waiting for Alan go propose to say no more. It's logical, it really is. That's my 2 cents, at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Posted February 20, 2015 Report Share Posted February 20, 2015 My two cents on the twins: the parents messed up by saying the twins could continue then a few months later, saying that they couldn't anymore.That's a really cruel thing parents could do to their children. And as for the twins lasting, there are probably all sorts of brother sister couples that are still going strong together. Just don't count the twins out yet. But then again, I am more of a romantic so that's why I'm hoping against all hope. By the way, let's have Jack play Dark Souls 2. A perfect game to play when it seems like everything is going to hell in a hand basket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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