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Posted (edited)

My favourite:

"She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can't sing worth a damn."

Because that's happened to me before. :rofl:

Special mention goes to:

"It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall."

HOW?! HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY STAPLE YOUR TONGUE TO THE WALL???!

Edited by Shadowknight12
Posted

I have to go with:

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
Posted
Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin Klein’s Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made from spoiled Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances.

:blink: say wha-at?

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

:errm: ....was this person in Wonderland? I don't know of any oscillating dandelions.....

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

<<BEEP!>> <<BEEP!>> <<BEEP!>> which translated to his ears as "I love you."

Posted

Oh god, I love these! XD

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

I can just imagine this!

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

I got the mental image and my sadistic self laughed.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

I wasn't expecting this, so I cracked up!

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

XD What kind of 'American tradition' is this??

I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.

This tangent was pointless and on topic enough that I loved it. ^^

Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist.

I'm a medical nerd, I had to go with this one! =)

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