JayDee

We'll Always Hang Paris was a tough re-write. When I went through my original I swiftly came to the conclusion that it was totally nonsensical, partly as a result of being an hour or so's work for a forum thread challenge, and partly because the basic concenpt was poor. To be honest, I didn't improve it all that much, but at least with changing it to be a conspiracy it covered some of the plot holes on why the authorities hadn't successfully ended it. I also think Paris Geller was a much better Paris. Although the alternative, Tom Paris, would have made the story pretty different. More scifi. M/M. That sort of thing. The original also had a brief few lines of described animal cruelty to the original Paris' pet that just seemed to be there to be "edgy" and "shocking" or something. I don't know, 2007 me made some odd writing choices. I stripped it all out anyway, because it was neither edgy, nor shocking, but just kind of pathetic. And in a story like this, that's saying something. Zarena's pretty much unchanged though. It still doesn't make too much sense, but the first vote being for two stars either reflects that, or shows someone saw the story codes, clicked just to vote and missed the one star! Which seems to happen a lot. I'd say "Down with the votes!" but the voters already have that covered. Anyway, a review! Thank you for your review! I'm very happy to receive your praise, but I'd love to know what you hated about it - was it a thematic issue, or is it something I could work on and improve?

Crookshanks eats a vampire bat with a virus which mutates and goes airborn turning all of the men into werecat vampires and killing off all the women making all the men outrageously gay by default. It doesn't matter that it doesn't work that way. It's slash, and wizards are naturally able to be pregnant as men in this world. There's probably a law about it. Or a letter from goblins. Or something. Anyway, since they're now both werecats and vampires they'll live ridiculously long times but still want to reproduce as a basic natural urge which luckily the werecat vampirism doesn't affect. Harry, meanwhile, is visited by his future self who explains that he is on his way back in time to fuck Lucius and be Draco's real father. Future Harry also fucks Harry. Harry is so disgusted to find out that he is Draco's real father that in slashfic logic he rapes the shit out of Draco who immediately loves him unconditionally but still spends random chapters angsting about his rape and big pregnant belly. When Draco is obviously pregnant Harry ignores him totally to go off and make rude comments about Ron and investigate how Dumbledore was secretly manipulating every evil event since his birth. Dumbledore was the wizard on the grassy knoll. Draco realises Harry will only fuck him again with his big spiky werecat cock if he's dead so he takes temporary death pills and sends Harry wild with lust. Then comes back to life afterwards and Harry realises what he lost... but still makes Draco take the pills again. And they live angstily ever after. "Inspired entirely by BronxWench. This story would not exist without BronxWench. I'm just the conduit for the awesome power that is BronxWench's inspirational force." So, that's the basic plan. What else do I need to include? Any ideas on how to fill in the or somethings? And should more characters hate Ron? Should Ron actually die off with the women? Should the vampirism involve lots of kinky blood licking and sucking, or mostly just swapping out the "Dressed by Gap" outfits for fashion porn evening dress? Should the spiky werecat cocks cause realistic pain or actually just pain-tinged pleasure as every rape is inexplicably described as secretly pleasurable? Should Harry force Draco to grow long hair and wear lipstick? Finally, unless anyone else can think up important elements, should becoming a Werecat Vampires rapist mean Harry should take on a new epic dark name like Sebastian Hidinin DeDarque Roderick Umbra Potter Silas Ron-is-a-prick Lockholme Byron Andonandonandon Le Chat de Lyons Tearoom H. O. Rsecock Cain Nimrod Hamish the Sheepfucker (he built the pier and the wall!) Rake Jardin Donald Trump Help me AFF forums, you're my only hope!

The Crushing of Cassie Cage Hey, thanks for the review, and you're not the first person who read the original and read this version and enjoyed it - I think this version is better myself! I'm 90% done on a re-write of one of my old stories to a Gilmore Girls story, but I'm not quite happy with how it flowing.

Killer Frost Killer, based on a character prompt for a challenge thread called "Best Way To Kill" is very much old style JD thematic unpleasantness. Took about an hour and a half, an a third of that was establishing which DC comic to refer to for the disclaimer for this version of the character. And it's possibly still wrong. Anyway, someone read it: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. Happy to amaze when I normally expect to disgust. I don't know that'll I'll ever do a pregnant spider woman story. I suppose you're thinking of this new Jessica Drew stuff they're promo'ing? I've been meaning to do a pregnant Black Cat story for about five years. If I ever do, though, I'll be sure and post it on AFF!

How about Arabella Figg? Sure, no good at the actual magic but she was connected to his parents through the Order and lived close by! She could have taught him all kinds of valuable cat herding skills that came in useful getting people to stand against the bad guys!

I could see Bellatrix for Draco, but not so sure for Harry - a lot of his parents friends seemed to be dead, and Molly who would otherwise be a good choice wasn't in the original Order and I don't know that she'd have had enough connection to Harry's parents. But if it could be made to work, then I think we probably already saw sizable influence from both of them on 'their' Godchildren. Tough question! Of course, Hermione as the main character it'd be getting on for way more matriarchal anyway!

Title: The Orc's Weapon Author: JayDee Rating: Adult Summary: Gentleman Jim steps aside for Morrowind's new Master Thief, but has a question before he goes. A sequel to Friendship's Gift. Feedback: Yes please. Codes: ChallengeFic, COMPLETE, Exhib, M/M, NoSex Fandom: Elder Scrolls III - Morrowind URL: Click here! I asked for a prompt in the Shouthox, and Joe Long said "Gentleman". This flashfic story was the result. Thanks for the prompt, and thanks also to anybody who reads this post!

I don't recall reading their stories, but I feel the same, it's a sad time.

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: Sindel's Lullaby Review replies link: Review Replies -Games Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult++ Fandom: Games > Mortal Kombat 3 Pairing: Sindel / Kitana Warnings: ChallengeFic, COMPLETE, Contro, F/F, Fist, Inc, MC, MCD, Nec, Oneshot, Oral, Preg, PWP, Rape, Solo, Violence, WS

That's the one, the guy, the pool, the not entirely likely suction incident. I don't tend to watch a lot of horor films - I always preferred the really cheesy horror - but a well written story is great. I just use some of the horror elements to write porn sometimes. Like how Clive Barker sometimes uses porn elements to write horror (in Coldheart Canyon it was more 50/50, and there again, a world within a room!). Thanks again foir your review and comments.

The Crushing of Cassie Cage has received an on-story review, First of all, thank you for pointing out those errors! I hate missing stuff like that, but just can't seem to help it, even with waiting for a while and re-reading before posting. I'll get them corrected Second of all, thank you for the review over all! Yeah, a lot of it is on the torture porn side of horror, the hostel/wolf creek/saw type of thing. I'm glad that you appreciated the horror aspects and I'm pleased the description works! I'm sorry that it's left you feeling violated, hope it doesn't affect you too badly. I try and put in warnings to avoid people who might be triggered by my stuff continuing down. I did a whole string of gory stories at one point, I think the goriest of the lot was the Firefly story I did, and the others working on re-writing and re-posting are from that period, but there's quite a bit of gore in Chuck Palahniuk's stories - I remember reading Guts from I think Haunted printed stand alone in something and thinking it was pretty extreme. . I think the goriest thing I've read is either American Psycho from Brett Easton Ellis, or one of a couple of Clive Barker's stories, because his body horror is awesome.

Thanks again! I'm working on and off at some re-writes of around ten old stories I wrote as JD or JayDee before 2008/9 but don't currently have on the site. Before the Cassie story, No Mercy in Novac was also a re-write of one of my old ones. Also trying to do some of the forum prompts! The meta-humour of "You!" seemed to go down quite well. I even avoided the obvious by not having the demon rape anybody I see you like Skyrim, I haven't done a Skyrim story yet - I did one a couple for Oblivion and one for Morrowind though. How about a Fat Dragonborn? "I'll do anything to save all the people of Skyrim from the threat of dragons!" "Wait, you'd even try to save Grelod the Kind?" "Ah, I would, obviously, but there was a terrible accident and she died. Slipped and fell on an axe. The witnesses all swear blind I tried to pull it back out for her." "Oh, well, to save Skyrim You've got to climb the Seven Thousand Steps to High Hrothgar." "Fuck off." ...damn it, looks like I would end up in stereotype again. Huh. I really do rely on that shit

Thank you for your thoughts on the story. It's a good point, and I think it can probably be extended to my general over reliance on clichéd characters. I did do a Family Guy story with notable Fat Guy Peter fuckin' Meg in which he wasn't as evil as most examples (though, seeing as he was fucking his daughter, still obviously a bad guy), but that was playing off the redneck incest gag in the show. Maybe I should try and redress the balance and do a story with a big fat guy who's a much more decent, non evil and disgusting character in a story. Or would it be too little, too late? Anyway, thanks again for your thoughts on it.

The books domain is relatively quiet, isn't it? Hadn't really noticed before, but I see the bottom of the latest page the story was updated April 18th. Looking at my hits for stories back to 2010 I have 2864 (semi-popular fandom at the time), 896 (NoSex!), 1444 (tentacoo wape!), 15350 (Horsecock. Lots and lots of Horsecock. Or maybe they're all there for the badger) and my new one, A Song Of Forgotten Beauty which cleared 100 views so far. So, yay. One day I'll do a Discworld story. Luggage x Hex. Rowwrrr. Thank you BW! You're always so kind about my prompt fics, while I spend most of my time hoping I haven't wasted too much of a reader's time with drivel. It was basically porn, but when you review I could almost convince myself I'd done something literary! Thank you again.

I didn't want to put too much in the way of spoilers in the review, but I wondered at the end if one of the first clues to his nature was that he couldn't remember ever not having the beard? Also, it looks like your profile picture isn't loading correctly for me? http://members.adult-fanfiction.org/profile.php?no=1296767214 Not sure if that's something you know about, a wider site issue, or just something that needs reloading sometimes?

Makes sense! I'll leave it in Fallout for now.

Category name: Fallout: New Vegas Section category to be in: Games Do you have any stories for it?: Yes.

A Song Of Forgotten Beauty didn't have a title until I was ready to post it. It doesn't feel great now, but I always go on the basis that any title is better than none. No matter how terrible it is. Even just one random word. Look! "Sausage" that could be the title for just about any M/M fic! At least I resisted, "Beautiful Plumage!" Thank you! I did try to emphasise their beautiful but still inhuman appearances, with the feathers and the movements and the birdy vocalisations. And, well, the suggestion of egg laying. Although if the myths have taught us anything, it's that what comes out of the egg might not be what you'd expect. Like a horse for a hero or something. Actually feeling like you're there is often a negative for my stories, but who wouldn't want a lovely coastal meal followed by sex with a mythical Thracian King? I mean, besides Jerry Falwell. Thank you! I actually tried to cover that with his little monologue, everything he did he did because the fates had always decided on it, and so he was able to endure his torment and look forward to what came afterwards. Yeah, they were attractive to the Greeks, but by the time the likes of Virgil was writing you'd think they nested in the Ugly tree. "The body of a majestic bird, and a face like an abandoned shit farm." The Aneid, Book III line 212* I actually kept spelling it as Aiello while writing Had to do a find/replace, hope I got 'em all. Same with spelling Phineus as Phineas. So, when I do an Urban Fantasy version of Leon/The Professional with Tony turning into a half-bird and screwing Leon over the cafe table you'd have to avoid it? "Nobody knocks off Tony! Sqaaawwwk!" *Just kidding. He actually wrote, "No worse monsters than these, no crueller plague, ever rose from the waters of Styx, at the gods’ anger. These birds have the faces of virgin girls, foulest excrement flowing from their bellies, clawed hands, and faces always thin with hunger." Which is why these days they all work in the fashion industry.

It was a pretty good film, less confusing than Southland Tales too! I really liked the soundtrack, that was a great cover of White Rabbit especially. I just didn't get why she was so keen to get lobotomised at the end, all she needed to say was "Yo, doc, my evil Stepdad paid Blue to have it done, quit it will ya?" and they'd totally have not done it. Maybe I missed something. Such as, she was actually insane.

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: A Song Of Forgotten Beauty Review replies link: Review Replies -Books Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult + Fandom: Books > Myths Pairing: Aello/Phineus/Ocypete Warnings: 3Plus, ChallengeFic, COMPLETE, Fingering, Hum, M/F, Oral

You! Thanks to all four of you who've so far reviewed part two! (to save me writing it four times below in the same post. I grateful, but lazy ) There were something like 185 hits for the first six reviews which is a very good ratio for something without sex and in second person. I haven't added a Minor2 tag because the troll in part 2 isn't under 18 although You think he might be in dialogue due to the troll's manchild troll/shitty gamer tendancies. He's at least 18, maybe 19. It was originally going to be a oneshot story, but I thought I could do another part with it - as long as it is still a little funny it's all good! The thing with humor is to try and stop before it is beaten into the ground and scraping the barrell. Don't demons and flames go together? It seemed appropriate, and as I said further up the thread the idea of her travelling to see a troll seemed to work! Never trust a demoness! She might be using her stories to cast evil magic into the mind of readers, or have some other cunning plan. Or she might be a genuine suethor. I think it could get confusing if I did a third party from a different "you" perspective, since the troll and the demoness are going to the con without the "you" person... even this sentence is utterly confusing to me. Maybe part three could go first person... "I am a troll. This smoking hot demon chick totally appeared in my room!"... then the title would be "You! and I!"... or just have the original You! read about the carnage on the internet... decisions, decisions... I might have to write the adventures of Princess Asras next. Probably without dismemberment to maintain the lighthearted tone. "Gosh! Isn't she fantastic? She's much better than following Aslan!" As long as it's still funny it is worth it! I think it probably does help that anybody writing here or reading here can relate to Sarsa's style of writing and the troll's trolling. Not sure if I'd actually be able to have her at the con, unless, just occured, I could have her pull the original "You" there the next day to have a nice time at the con, despite their protests. I'd kind've like to see her meet bronies. Or get into an argument with one of those futa guys who say proper futa characters should never have balls. With talented writers she's probably be like "Yeah, that's good, but if I put my characters adventures in there in second person or first person it would be better!" same as with Narnia or Tarzan Ahh, of course. I can see why you'd think that he'd be getting raped- it's implied as a threat and there's quite a lot of rapey content out there anyway, not least in my story profile, but I'd always have a RapeFic tag if I actually included anything like that. I nearly put one on just for the threat. Because if you don't use the right trigger tags the moderators flay the skin from your back. Or possibly just give you a warning to change the tag. I don't actually know for sure and don't want to take the risk. I actually had a big idea around Under Joan's Bed to take it up to about four chapters but I never got around to it. Would have been playing with perception - as the monster and demon real or was she mad? In the end she was gonna be shown not mad. Though I guess that kind of thing has been done to death. Thanks for your comments on those two stories as well! If you only want to write little chunks at a time, you could probably do a pretty good classic style CYOA - maybe each paragraph as a drabble! I got my harshest, most brutal flames from the Firefly fandom. Some of them were pretty trollish. I'd totally have kept them if they weren't taking up the database space, but I think I copy/pasted them into the writers corner flames thread! I'd written a rough draft of the first paragraph ages ago, I think in a forum thread, as a joke around the idea of a second person story talking about why second person stories are hated by some folks. It was a little clunky, but I happened to spot it again in my scraps folder and thought it would expand into a decent prompt oneshot. Then I guess I did it into a two parter. I'm keeping it short becuase the chapter length is decided by the weekly prompt format rules which specify either twitfic, drabble of up to 1000 words flashfic - I think the monthly prompts don't have a limit - but I quite like the challenge of trying to fit it to 1000 words with more detail and overblown description available than in a drabble. Plus I also find drabbles harder. I've tried to avoid giving any gender indicators for "you" - Sarsa threatened to stick it up the ass but that's an option for both genders, and anybody masturbating to internet porn with a tight belt would need to undo it as implied at the start of part 2. If there's any bit that does seem to say that "you" is definately male or female let me know and I'll try to edit it for more ambiguity! I want it to be an equal opportunities second person fic

Yeah, but the logical conclusion of Andersen's thought process is everyone needs to die so everyone can be in heaven! He's up there with Judge Death's "All crime is committed by the living so life itself is a crime!" It's values dissonance I guess

Pen Name: JayDee Story link: You! - Part 2: Desire Review replies link: Review Replies -Original Type of fic: Flashfic Rating: Adult + Fandom: Original Pairing: Still isn't one. Warnings: AFFO, ChallengeFic, Exhib, F/D, Hum

That was definately Osgood's opinion!

You! Thank you for your review! I'm glad it was amusing, I tried for a bit of a humorous tone. There's probably a lot to be said for avoiding most everything else I've written except maybe "The Slumber Party of Evil Doom"'s first part, but it's good of you to try something and thanks again for the review.