MorbidFantasy

Oh god I had to reread chapter 20 twice to pick up the details. The first read through was clouded by my own enthusiasm to bite off the whole thing in one go. So now even if Lara is allowed to walk she'd have slimes crawling all over/inside her underneath her armor...hot damn. Also interested in seeing where this Mia thing goes. She kinda succumbed very easily, but that is to be expected as she's not in the same league as Samus. Is Melissa planning to keep Madeline all to herself? There seemed to be a lot of implicit finger work involved between the two but I'd love for a more concrete scene involving Madeline, as my overall impression of sections with her can largely be summed up as "Melissa's attention focus on Madeline...she cums." Which is fine by me as it gives my imagination room to improvise. What of the man on the floor? Would be interesting to give him occasional glimpses of mental clarity, at least if he interacts with Samus or any other character at some point.

First, responding to HunterOpera I have to admit, the hunting games between Lara and Takamoto's men was indeed hot as hell for me to write, and really rolled off the fingers quite naturally. Your comments on Japanese misogyny mirrors my own take on how they would treat Lara. I actually really liked the asian actress character I had developed so she might appear in a slightly different capacity if it pans out. As for Salvatorelli's proving of his manhood for hit men by humiliating Lara, I'm keeping that idea but reworking it giving the recent plot developments. In fact I think Xavier is probably the first person Lara is going to have to pay "penance" to. As for current chapter, first off I'm glad you liked it. Some other thoughts I know technically Lara's only been away from home for a little under a month, but it seemed like so much longer due to my horrendously slow pace of updating, so I found myself wanting to bring her back home if only temporarily. Introducing Kitty seemed logical as Gordo would have to be weened off of Lara's pussy (and her weened of his cock) if she is to be dividing her time among so many individuals. So the newly introduced plot device is that while Lara was gone, Winston had similarly been gone from the mansion, and Everest Inc had taken this time to do some major reconstruction around the Croft manor. If it wasn't made more clear in this chapter, the hallucinogenic qualities of Lara's dream will be further elaborated upon. It's entirely possible that the demons (Kitty and her sisters) aren't even really wearing red skin paint, merely the red lighting and Lara's drug addled mind interpreting what she's seeing. It also contributes to the reason she might still think herself to be dreaming. I'm toying with the idea of lactation, which i know can be polarizing, but since Everest wants Lara to be able to perform any task asked of her for her creditors, he would want her body to provide any functionality that they might so request. Who knows, maybe I'll give Lara milk valve "implants" that can be used to either make her lactate or shut it off. At this point we're well past the boundaries of realistic technologies. The idea of not letting Lara cum was me taking a leaf from your metroid fic. We'll see where that leads us.

I vote no on flashback, for the reason that you're work in present tense has been completely informative regarding plot progression. The only flashbacks I would think necessary would be brief snippets inserted while in media res, like Brannigan torturing Samus, then day dreaming a little about the time she wronged him, then torturing her some more in the present. Look forward to your next chapters. Have to say it's inspiring to be able to see the works of another author who I seem to share similar tastes with.

= =" It's probably written somewhere in there I just don't want to search through the haystack...would rather reread the sexy bits in the cave and...tame ma DRAGON

Still, is Madeline NAKED, I GOTZ TO KNOWZ. She's one hot milf.

Here are a few more coherent story arcs that I scrapped, the rests were less story driven and more just drabble 1. Toyko Arc: Lara is taken to tokyo, where she awakes in a sort of "soft" captivity, which is a luxury suite that has false windows and is shut off from outside world, the suite is in reality a mock up inside a containment/storage facility, owned by Shogo Takamoto. Strangely, she wakes up fully cloth and not being raped, and spends a few days with no clue as to where she is and why she's there. One day however, she wakes from a chemically induced sleep to see a young chinese girl (think barely of age or maybe even under 18) tied to the bed. The girl is blindfolded and shows signs of having been heavily raped. Lara's hands are bound and she is leashed to the foot of the bed. She gets to know the girl, who was a chinese-japanese idol/actress, who was kidnapped ended up here because she refused a "date" with one of Takamoto's underbosses, Sort of a comrade in suffering, Lara befriends the girl. Only after the two have gotten to know each other does Takamoto's right hand man show up, with his cronies, and proceed to completely ignore Lara (who is still fully clothed) as they rape the young asian girl. Lara, stricken by a sudden urge to protect the other female, offers herself up willingly to Takamoto's thugs. Under threat of bodily harm to her younger charge, Lara is forced to service her captors willingly and with false enthusiasm. What follows is the primary reason the arc was scraped. Again, most of this was written in a short time, on a lot of caffeine, and eventually I found it kinda far fetched- Lara is forced to run scenarios with Takamoto's men, involving her being inside an abandoned industrial complex, acting as a prey as Takamoto's men hunted her. Both sides are armed with tranquilizer guns, but Lara's ammunition is limited, and Takamoto's men are armed with aphrodisiac ammunition much like the kind I had in my old Legends fic, so if Lara is shot with too many she succumbs to overwhelming arousal, which is only satisfied after copious sexual activity. The reason for the entire hunt and capture games was too absurd and was supposed to have been to prepare Takamoto's men for quick covert kidnappings to kidnap potentially influential female celebrities to further the whole underground celebrity prostitution scheme. The Asian girl become a trainee of sorts for Lara and her comrade in these screwed up sex games. There is a lot of action and combat in this arc, which I really enjoyed writing, but in the end I had to scrap the idea because I found it absurd that a young actress that has never been trained the way Lara was trained picking up the same skills as her in a short amount of time. Also found the setup for kidnapping female celebrities to be kind of overdone. Final verdict: until I can make this arc believable to myself, it stays buried. 2. Peru Arc Yet another way for Lara to be introduced to serving the underworld. Lara starts out inside the cargo jet, but instead of waking in the prison, she awakens only to be thrown out of the back of the jet, wearing nothing other than a parachute. Landing in the jungle, she has to retrieve her separately dropped gear, and is hunted by Xavier Salvatorelli, for sport. Salvatorelli's backstory is that he used to lead a small scale paramilitary faction in Peru, and Lara had once bought some hardware off of him when she was digging near his turf. He had tried to get too romantic with Lara and that cost him an eye and a few fingers. Somehow, since then, his operation and powerbase has grown to the point that he garners the interest of Everest. Xavier will continually force Lara to reenact the day she injured him and escaped, except this time the scenario is rigged in a new way each time to ensure that Lara is eventually caught and humiliated in front of Xavier's entire operation, as her successful escape years prior had been seen as a huge humiliation for him. This story might still make it in, but I think it was necessary for Lara to first agree to whatever happens to her next in a legal document to make things official. Otherwise it would seem like Everest was just pushing her envelope without a clear plan, and eventually I'd expect Lara to snap and just rebel all out. In fact, both the Tokyo arc and the Peru arc were experiments in how I could make Lara willingly subject herself to escalating levels of humiliation. Either make it so she has someone to fight for, or make it so she was only making up for her past sins (gravely injuring Xavier) Both ideas eventually made it into the incarceration/initiation story, but I'll continue to revisit these past ideas to see if they'd fit in at some point. I hate to let good sex scenes go to waste. 3. The last were just a series of Tomb Raiding arcs where Lara retrieves an artifact from somewhere in the world and Gordo injects some sex into the raiding. Probably five or six scenarios partially based off of scenes in the games. These are on the backburner until I can make them work. The notion of Lara scaling a cliff while climaxing seemed sexy, but also seemed like unnecessary risk if it led to her death. I feel like her safety is still a big concern and all the sex must at least be in a somewhat controlled environment.

http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600081072 Thought I'd start this thread so I can share my thoughts with you guys about my progress with the fic. It's not that I've taken a year hiatus from writing the fic, it's that I've written so many conflicting story lines for FMC that I end up scrapping most of them and starting anew, the process has happened three times already, and the graveyard for my unpublished FMC drafts is upward of 50000 words at this point. Surprisingly the six newest chapters are part of a one days worth of writing when I was loaded on caffeine and inspiration just seemed to fly at me. The relationship with Ivan/Vasily didn't even develop until when I was writing it. Up until he appeared in Lara's cell I really had just intended for him to be a big guy with a big dick to bugger her with, and I had to go back and change some parts in order to retroactively change his significance in the story. I'll probably share the hitherto scrapped ideas that I've done a lot of work on in the past months, since some of them will end up being reworked into the story later if I can. Thoughts, suggestions, ideas on where I should go in the short term with the next chapters?

What's up Hunter? First I'd like to thank you for the review on my TR fic. I'm glad it still holds interest after nearly an year of inactivity. The truth is I've been continuing to write chapters for it, but I keep scraping them later because for some reason I just don't fancy them a few days after the initial draft. At this point the graveyard for n'er2B-published arcs and plotlines for FMC is literally over 50000 words. The graveyard for never to be published aff fics in general...that could fill a novel at this point XD. The newest five chapters were part of a single expose that was written in one sitting over massive amounts of caffeine and sudden enthusiasm. In fact the plot revolving Ivan/Vasily had little to no initial planning and were all spur of the moment inspiration. The only edits I made after the first draft was one quick grammatical proof read. I can't believe I've never read your fic up until now. I've been a big fan of Metroid and Samus, even though I've never played the games before having never owned a gamecube and not really being into the Wii, which is also why I never acted on my own impulses of writing a Samus fic since I lack the canonical intimacy with that universe. Okay onto the review, which i'll also post in the fics review section: I absolutely loved the imprisonment arc. Loved the way Samus is subdued through shear numbers of psychic and physical restraints. I read all the chapters in one go and was sorely disappointed when I reached the end. The fact that Samus's views on sex is unconventionally liberal and is immune to the psychological trauma of rape is a big hook for me. I especially like how you described her as for the most part being open to the pleasure even though her logical mind is telling her that it was being used to condition and own her. Taking away her jumping abilities leads me to believe that you eventually want the only position for Samus to be in that isn't punishable to be for her to be on all fours. The gradual limitation of her movement without actual restraints is a fantastic idea, and I look forward to seeing what you have next for her. I must admit that in my haste to continue the sex scenes, I skimmed over the overarching plot line in the rest of the galaxy, and had to backtrack after hitting the end to pick up the missing pieces, but that was of my own volition and not that your writing's fault. End review More thoughts/questions. 1. You mentioned that you're trying to keep your chapters short and under 2000 words. Why is that? My general rule of spacing for chapters is circa 3000 words and no less than 2000. Do you think 2000 word chapters are easier to digest and won't lose the attention of readers? Maybe I should take a leaf out of your book. 2. Do you have an overall length for the entire story in mind? How set in stone is the length/X chapters of Samus's gradual subversion and training until she meets Melissa? When that happens roughly what percentage of the full story will have transpired? Have you decided whether to end this story on a positive note (ala Samus saves the day) or negative note (enslavement)? I'd be happy with either one but have you decided yet? 3. Also, I have a feeling you were deliberately implicit, but is Dr. Madeleine being physically molested by her daughter or is the pleasure that I'm reading purely psychic in nature? Is she naked under that blanket? You may have mentioned it at one point but off the top of my head I don't believe it was made clear. 4. I'd really like to see something erstwhile happen to the hapless male captive. I get that after the first few chapters his mind has all but turned to jelly, but you mention him being there often enough that it seems like he should do something more than just be there.

Generally my stories are fired and forget. It's not that I won't look back later and think "damn the writing here blows." but usually I'd like to preserve my writing the way they were when I first posted them. To me they're landmarks of my progress as a writer. The only thing I'd consider going back to change is grammatical errors.

not gonna lie, this thread is pretty ancient, and given the traffic on AFF forums (aka pretty damn slim) i don't see the OP keeping up with this (if you are though do reply). Should probably let this thread die in peace. In fact the thread is so old that I faintly recall having posted here before but don't even remember what I wrote. must've been like a year ago...

I lolled at the topic, not in a bad way tho. IMO, assholes make better characters because they're 1. easier to write/read without coming off as cheesy, unlike gentlemen or romantic characters and 2. when everyone plays nice in a story, it makes for a boring story. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll probably never (again) write a male character that is not completely unlikeable and a prick in everything they do. Honestly, it's one of the reasons that I write N/C fics, because while I can't bring myself to create nice guys (for some reason I cringe whenever I try to describe a nice dude, usually comes off as cheesy), I can't fathom my female character being attracted to the assholes and reprobates that I pen, so end up making the story an N/C. Of course that's not the main reason I write N/C, but it's part of it.

The other thing is, if you can visualize a scene in your head and see if physically happening, then you have a template which you can then proceed to flesh out the details to in words. I wouldn't worry too much about how realistic it has to be necessarily. I gave up on being accurate in certain departments (human endurance, posturing) in favor of writing whatever got my imagination working. Is it really that embarrassing that I draw alot of inspiration from hentai anime/manga? Well IDC really. What matters is that it works for me, and at least some people who read my fics like it.

You are free to do whatever it takes to make your work as enjoyable as possible, even if it's only to yourself. Even though I care a great deal about what my readers think of my work, at the end of the day the motivation for my posting a story or chapter update is still that I personally find it enjoyable. If I were only posting to satisfy the other people you can bet I'd update a whole lot quicker. It's not that hard to write a piece here on AFF that gets people off, but what's most important is what the piece does for the author.

"Help, lord, I'm having impure thoughts about my mother!"

I had that problem with my Tomb Raider fic. At 14 chapters and growing I originally had no ending planned for it. But recently I managed to dream up the perfect way to end the piece, and for me that made everything alot easier, since I know the direction the story is going in and which ends I need to tie up before that happens.

personally I get much more into a sex scene that has some back story behind it. There's only so many ways you can describe sex so eventually it will probably get old. I have some form of sex in every one of my chapters but that doesn't mean that I put any less effort into coming up with a decent and interesting plot. but at the end of the day there will always be those who don't have the patience to brave out the buildup, prefering to jump to the climax right away. Whatever works for them, I say, although in my opinion they're not kind of readers that I was hoping for when I started writing.

Oh that was never a revelation for me XD

I prefer the blood of their firstborn.

ain't that the truth and nothing but. A smaller demographic of readers are drawn to AFF than fanfiction.net, and out of that an even smaller part of AFF readers care enough to review a story. I remember being estatic when I got my first review, having waited for ages for it to come. I've since gotten more realistic expectations, although I always ask for reviews at the end of every update. My advice to those who crave input and reviews is that if your work is PG/PG-13 enough to put onto AFF, you should head there to post your stories. I'm pretty sure you won't be dissapointed, although do expect a higher probability that some juvenile dickweed will flame you for no better reason than them wanting to. As I've said before FF.net has alot more traffic, and proportionally alot more griefers and trolls. It you do go to FF.net don't let that put you off.

You have absolutely no need to apologize. It is your choice whether to write as you see fit. I'm about to update my fics sometime this week, after a few months of zero progress. It is completely legitimate to chalk things up to writers block, which is a pretty broad term including all of the things that you've listed as preventing you from writing. For me, the reason behind the major delays is my personal sex drive, which has slowed down alot since the wee days of puberty. At 22 I just don't get nearly as horny as I used to, which for me was probably the major driving force behind alot of my fantasies/writing ideas. It's always good to see an author reassert that they haven't vanished from the realm or simply retired without notice. So in short: nice to have you back. ....................................................... And to my readers: yes I will be updating soon. I literally just logged on to AFF for the first time in a while after a stroke of inspiration hit me in the form of a 4500 word chapter. The new chapter should be up by the end of the week at the latest, as soon as I run a spell/grammar check and have it proofread. That and my friend and fellow Tomb Raider aficionado bitamin717 has just uploaded a great TR fic titled "Axis of Tantalus" Anyone who enjoys my work on Lara Croft will most likely enjoy his (you are a guy right bita?)

a simple disclaimer in your profile stating that you don't endorse the real world application of the content in your fics will suffice. The line everyone should take with the internet is to think twice before you post, but once you do never look back and for god's sake don't abuse the edit button. You don't see videogame and movie producers apologizing for the body count that they rack up on screen now do you? So to answer your question directly: no you shouldn't have to apologize. Nor should you need to feel guilty about posting something riske or deviant online.

I think you're fine. This isnt' a detailed synopsis. A summary should only highlight what needs to be said without giving off too much info. Don't rely on your summary to be the primary attraction. Worry more about the writing and the readers will come.

lolz. My Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles fic was started in 2007, and it's taken this long to get it up to 12 chapters (sometimes with month long hiatus's) and I'm still getting feedback and hits. No worries, chances are if he really liked your fic and wished to see it continue he'll wander back someday to read n review.

Lucifer you're too idealistic. I'm just being pragmatic here. Ideally when you write something it's because you enjoy doing so, and not necessarily for others to enjoy. If that was the case then none of us would be posting on AFF, but the fact is authors here like to have their work appreciated. I just happen to be lucky in liking a genre (Lara Croft) that gets enough traffic that I can expect at least a certain amount of first time readership, and hopefully hook them in for reviews and new chapters. If you're main interest is in a more obscure section you have to be prepared for it to be pretty barren of traffic/interest. What I described (finding a more popular fandom) is a more practical way of getting people to notice your writing. It doesn't mean you have to choose a popular fandom that you have absolutely no interest in. Just find something that you like that more people on AFF would like and start there if you want to know how your mettle measures up. And I never said anything about abandoning your interest. If you really like the piece/fandom there's no reason why you should stop writing for it. Just be realistic in your expectations of feedback.

too long is when you finally get off your ass you post you realize most of your fans (if any) had already moved on and don't care for your work anymore. I'm skirting dangerously close to that territory