MorbidFantasy

Interesting. You no longer give a fuck but continue to offer advice. What is the motivation behind this all-caps post of yours? Are you mad at or disappointed with me? Are you hating specifically on the character of Hanson or are you dissatisfied with where I'm taking this story? A little specificity would help. Cheers.

I sort of understand your anger, and in order to address your grievances I'm going to spoil some of my intended plot progression here. One of the reviews today called into questions my faithfulness to my earlier forum post of not adding any more men into Lara's life. Maybe that was you or was just a like minded reader who took issue with Hanson's inclusion. Here's my motive behind the current development of Hanson: Up until now, the men in FMC have largely embodied stereotypical archetypes such as suave mastermind (Everest), obese lecher (Gordo), the otaku nerd (McGee), or even the kind giant (Vasily). They're sexual responses and demands to Lara, including the blackmail and imprisonment, have been bold to the point of masturbatory fantasy, which admittedly was a big motivating factor when I wrote them. Specifically, their shared reaction to obtaining discrete material on Lara has thus far been pure unrestrained villainy, in that they all immediately jump onto the blackmail bandwagon. With Hanson, I'm trying something radically different. He is to be a foil to all the other men who are capable of blackmail and coercion. SPOILERS BELOW: Obviously since I've contradicted my own plans numerous times, I'll avoid saying anything definite, except this big spoiler: Hanson will never try to blackmail Lara, nor will Lara ever find out about anything Hanson has done/is about to do. In fact, there is an 80% chance that the follow up chapter to "Excursion" will have Hanson losing his nerve and scurrying out of the motorhome without having done anything to Lara. This is because while I've tried to portray Hanson as a old lecher, I'm also trying to portray his ordinary side. Most of us would have more moral inhibitions regarding spying on a bathing woman, sneaking into her motorhome, raping her in her sleep, and blackmailing her. Hanson has done only the first two, but that's where he differs from Gordo and the rest of the stock villains from earlier who immediately dove right into the sex. If Hanson does do something, he will do it like a child sneaking a hand into the cookie jar, afraid of getting caught. The thought of blackmail will never even cross Hanson's mind. In fact, he will be on the receiving end of blackmail. The subplot is that Gordo and Fernando are actually baiting Hanson with Lara, under Everest's orders. They knew he spied on her bathing, and deliberately let her out of the suitcase, drugged, blindfolded and with her hearing taken away. Even if Hanson hadn't done what he did in this chapter, G&F were just going to keep dangling Lara in front of him until he does something stupid. That Hanson even had the nerve to get into the motor home so quickly will actually surprise Gordo and Fernando, although I might not write that surprise so explicitly. Their purpose? Everest might have an inkling of what the Peru excavation might find (part of my tying FMC into tomb raider themed supernatural), and by getting blackmail information on Hanson (G&F catching him in the act of doing something to an unknowing Lara), they can force Hanson to cooperate with handing over any finds or not publishing certain details about the find. I know that this might seem a little far fetched right now, ala why couldn't they just kill Hanson. Well, I'm hoping to address that at some point in future chapters. So as long as Hanson is still of use alive, it's easier for the villains to blackmail him for raping an unconscious Lara. Since Hanson doesn't have the backing of some underworld crime institute, he won't even fathom blackmailing Lara, and in fact will be more afraid of Gordo and Fernando telling Lara (or showing her video) of what he did to her. Hanson will fear, rightly so, that Lara will kill him. And perhaps somewhere in the future when his use has run out, Hanson might yet be killed off. Right now I don't know yet, but I'm just exploring the possibilities of having him doing sneaky things to Lara. Now that I've typed this much, I'm more like 99% certain that the next chapter will have to involve Hanson being too afraid to actually seal the deal with Lara. It will have to take much more baiting for him to overcome his fear and any residual moral qualms. He'll have to build a rhetorical case in his mind that Lara will probably enjoy the feelings of getting shagged, even if she isn't consciously aware of it. As for Hanson telling his professional friends about Lara's indiscretions, I think that would reflect more poorly on his character than it would on Lara's. Lots of girls have toys that they play with, and what Lara does in her own privacy is her own business. On the other hand, what was Hanson doing snooping around spying on a bathing lady? What was he doing spying on her through a window and then breaking in to watch her sleep? If he does shag Lara, it will remain his own little secret. The blackmailing of Hanson will only reinforce this, as he will be shown the very deadly consequences of him misbehaving. Referring back to my comment about limiting the amount of men in Lara's life, I'm going to add the following: Any men other than the established criminal bosses+cronies that touch Lara will have to have a unique plot-relevant reason for doing so. They won't just be thrown in en mass ala prison gang bang. Lara will be gang banged again at some point but it will also be plot relevant and not just gratuitous smutt. For every man that I introduce, I will do my best to create engaging or at least different personalities for each of them that allows for differentiation. Currently, I'm working on Fernando, who up till this point hasn't really shown anything other than being a crony+handler and thus barely distinguishable from Gordo. Fernando will get his own chapter at some point and be fleshed out, as well as Kitty. I really do appreciate the criticism. They're perfectly valid because most of the time when I'm writing, it's fueled by my namesake morbid fantasies. A lot of the broken promises or false herrings that I've written in previews or in this forum is due to spontaneous changes in sexual fantasies. It's the reason that i've thrown away some perfectly suitable chapters (plot-wise and sex-wise), simply because I randomly lost interest in them. So in summation, criticism keeps me grounded and reminds me that I still have to be culpable to plotting in fiction and can't just let my sexual urges dominate everything I write, so keep the comments coming, and thanks in advance!

Yeah I'm already aware of that discontinuity. An entirely different draft of this chapter actually had Vasily in it but I lost interest in it. I'm now trying to rework him in or retconn the default handler business. My current assessment is that when I was writing "Initiation", I was on a roll and threw in several things that felt right at the time but in retrospect were rather limiting. A new version of what happens next has been brewing in my head for a few weeks. it shares some similarities/sections with the current preview but establishes a lead up to a different sex scene that I've found much more enticing than the current direction.

See this is why beta readers are so damn valuable. These are the little details I always face-palm about when I find them, which doesn't always happen. Thanks for catching the discrepancy. I'll work a fix into the chapter when I have the time.

Could you clarify a little? I'm not sure what you're referring to.

That's very upsetting. I have a feeling that's what happened to Wierdmeijin too, when he took down his "The Fifth's Long Week" story, which was one of my favs on AFF. I do get that some authors not only grow tired of writing fanfiction, but also grow to dislike their previous work so remove them from the site for that reason. I myself garner a lot of scorn for my earlier works on this site even though I don't take them down.

Yeah I confess to possibly screwing that one up. At first it was going to be "we gave you drugs to keep you from cumming, now we're giving you drugs to let you cum super much." so I went with the needle. Then I decided to make things easier to control so wrote in the O-remote+O-device. This is one potential continuity error that I've been very aware of, yet still haven't fixed. Not entirely sure what the best way to fix it would be. But the O-remote is here to stay. So either the needle injection was special nanite technology to trigger/activate the O-device, or it's just a extra large dose of drugs so the device can start effecting Lara. The thing is from the time that she left the mansion to this chapter Lara's only been cumming from the O-device (akin to electric shocks), so the natural climax inhibiting drug is still in effect, until Gordo sprayed her bits in this chapter, after which she can cum both naturally as well as from the O-device. Still, it's sloppy writing, and I apologize.

Oh no no no I'm not trying to "placate" real world demographics, nor am I catering to a group of 13 year olds. I'm saying there is something juvenile about the way barely pubescent males see female sex symbols. I would know, since I used to be one of them. The "nod" I mentioned was to my own inner 13-year old, which was around the age at which I started imagining creative combinations of the female body and bondage. teens can be very sick too, you know. I don't think Lara's that much more disgusted by sex with 13-year old males vs of age males. In "streets of London" she laments because of the corruption of London's youth. It's the corruption rather than the sex that puts her off. In Xavier's case Lara always assumed the son would inherit the father's ways so that disgust would also be less about pedophilia and more about twisted male mentality. I'm not exactly a fan of pedophilia either because it represents the taking advantage of youth by older people who ought to know better. This sort of abuse is why you'll never see me writing about underage girls being raped in my fics. The context in which Xavier wants to "blood" his son by letting him have Lara draws from more ancient and barbaric themes. Ancient boys in Rome and Helenistic countries, when they go into puberty, are often introduced to heterosexual behavior via a prostitute. In the case of Xavier's son, Lara serves not only as a gateway to adulthood, but also has themes of twisted mother/son incest without it being actual incest and only because she's also fucked Xavier. Lara's well versed in ancient cultures and would see the similarities of this ritual. In her mind: "Ah great (sarcasm), the son is becoming the father. The little twit is already learning from the old twit." I don't really think having sex with a young teen is any more gross to her than having sex with Gordo or a bunch of inmates. Until I do decide on putting teens in here though this is just random thoughts. Boy Pedophilia as a social stigma is a more modern concept. In ancient Rome it was a crime only if the boy is a non-slave (read pederasty in wikipedia). I'm unambiguous regarding young girls though. That one's a big no-no.

Maybe I'm just used to longer posts and not a string of anon posts. If I come back and have to go back a page to make sure I didn't miss anything I feel a little inundated. Registering and posting under a user name will also allow you to edit your post into a longer one if I haven't responded yet. You should really register as a user on the forum. I'm of the impression that at most guest_guest posts here consists of at most two unique individuals who are very outspoken about your opinions, which is cool, but I'd prefer to be sure that a particular group of comments can be properly attributed, especially if those comments result in meaningful edits or directions in FMC. As I've said before it's hard to thank "Guest_guest" for input. Too impersonal to me. Edit: In no way am I saying I don't appreciate the comments. I'm only saying the current goal here is to discuss whether the plot makes sense and not get too speculative about what constitutes male-dominance over Lara. That definition is very fluid due to individual tastes both irl (you, me, him, her, they) as well as in FMC (Gordo=!Trent) Guest, on 12 Nov 2013 - 11:46 PM, said: It upsets me that you construe what I've written as an insult. I was joking about the fervor with which this thread has been updated, especially when I see a stack of AFF notifications in my gmail inbox. Believe me when I say this I'm not one to mask an insult and if I had intended to do that to you I'd have been very explicit and would have done so in a much longer and poetic fashion. Oh did I forget to mention that I love writing long drawn out insults in poetry form? it's only second to my love of writing really really long forum posts then editing them a bunch of times immediately afterwards. On the other hand, what is this about cowardice? I DEMAND CONTEXT AND EXPLANATION.

Whoa now, this is a discussion not an "argument". Even if it were, a useful argument must have a meaningful direction. The main questions right now is what parts of the current preview do you like, and what parts would you like to see modified, changed? The doc is "can-comment" so you can leave grammatical corrections there, while all plot related grievances can come here. So far what I can gleam from the feedback is Xavier's "hunt" must be undertaken for the sake of his machismo. Some of the men will have very personal grudges, like Xavier, and want personal revenge/payback. For some like Gordo, it's straight up perversion and fantasy-fulfillment. Still more will see this as strictly a business venture. Those that see this as a business venture will only see things in terms of monetary or political trade-off. Everest bringing together these bosses has much less to do with the level of grievances against Lara they each have than it does with what Everest can get out of this partnership. Xavier's business-benefits will be made clear by the end of Assignment One. Here are some examples of the other bosses's various benefits, without too many spoilers: 1. Human trafficking and or drug trafficking infrastructure (includes transit infrastructure) 2. Black market zones of control 3. Access to certain political groups (government) 4. Access to certain clandestine groups (spy network, assassins, specialists) 5. Money/asset laundering on a global scale (asset being non-sexual) Most of these traits will be shared by more than one boss. There are some unmentioned unique traits that I haven't developed yet or aren't sure if I'm going to use yet so am not mentioning. So even though the thrust of this story is Lara getting pawned off like a negotiation chip and the spotlight of the story is on her sexual servitude, the fact is she's not the center spotlight in the grand plan. She's the opening act, the keyturn that will get certain larger entities moving. It's not really what they get to do with Lara or how they feel about what they do with Lara that's important. Everest is using Lara like a show-pony, proof that his controlling abilities. He doesn't really give a damn if the other men are fully satisfied with they're experience as long as whoring Lara to them gets Everest whatever returned services that he needs for whatever other schemes he has. So to a certain point, showing their dominance of Lara will be a common theme among the bosses. However not all of them will feel the need to prove themselves like Xavier. Some might even consider it detrimental to let their minions know that "boss has a horny side", which could be defined as a weakness. It's very possible that some of Lara's trysts will actually be her exiting and entering the bosses's bedroom in the suitcase, wheeled in and out by Gordo, and none of the boss's guards or minions will know anything has happened. At least one boss will not use Lara in any sexual way what so ever. It is planed for this boss to have a very little libido, but want Lara to do him other non-sexual favors, which may or may not be just as distasteful as straight up rape/humil/exhib.

oookay, things are getting out of hand here. Someone's been having too much of the caff-caff hmmmm? Try to keep it to suggestions to what you would like to see change and/or happen in the fic and not do too much tangential analysis of FMC. It's only a ero fanfic afterall. It's here to entertain not be your Adult bookclub discussion of the week lol.

You're over thinking it. The bottom line is Lara doesn't want to enjoy the sex, but she has to orgasm no matter what. The men will not know the difference (if they don't use the O-device) and believe her to be a slut or them to be good in the sack (consensual conquest). Or they will entertain their rape fantasies in which they want to know that she is being forced to cum (non-consensual conquest). Then there are the occasional freak that will forbid Lara from cumming when under heavy aphrodisiac doses. The O-device can't really be used here since its effects cannot be resisted. Then Lara might be in bondage with a funnel under her snatch a cup under the funnel(her pisser is plugged). the cup is on a scale that increases the voltage on Lara's wired piercings as the cup gets heavier, so basically as she fills the cup with more of her juices she gets shocked even more. If Lara is forbidden from cumming, it is to toy with her If Lara is forced to cum, it is also to toy with her. It's pretty flexible. Generally I don't think most men will realistically expect Lara to want this. So either they're already in their own fantasy world and will delude themselves regarding Lara, or they'll be brutally aware that they're raping her and enjoy that sort of power. Just the act of sticking it to her is power enough for most people. I don't think these guys are that nuanced to be philosophically dissecting their relationship with Lara.

Lara has two options. 1. Have the O-device shock her into orgasm, which is more painful and much less enjoyable, and completely takes away her control of her own body. 2. Make herself cum as she was trained to do. Much more enjoyable, and at least she's in control, but that means she's actively trying to enjoy being violated. lose lose for Lara, win win for the men.

I'm actually open to suggestions about how to improve the already posted chapters. Nothing plot-altering but subtle details that you had issues with. That is the sort of feedback that really helps me figure out how to approach future content, so fire away with criticism about stuff that I haven't addressed. As for Xavier's proving his machismo, you couldn't be more right. Here are some more thoughts on that. Using North Korea as an example. They deliberately let a large proportion of their population starve, and do next to nothing about it. This is because of the inefficiency of the regime that meant there was a food shortage, so the ruling party made a decision to hoard the resources. Also, North Korea knew that the UN could not just let the NK civvies starve, so the U.S and the red cross etc are bound to send aid. The U.S wanted the NK civvies to know that the sacks of rice being air dropped over them were from the U.S and not NK gov, so they printed something like "A gift from your American Friends" on each sack. The NK gov instead twists this meaning and tells the NK civvies that "our dear leader is so great that even America gives us this rice as tribute to us." effectively taking credit for the rice using a simple rhetorical shift. What I'm going at is even if it is known that Lara was handed over to Xavier, he could easily spin it as "I'm so powerful that even European crime lords seek to appease me. Look, I told them I wanted the famous and powerful Lara Croft, and they immediately caught her and shipped her over to me, buck naked and tied up like a gift offering." That establishes his dominance not just as a man but also as a political powerhouse, if only to deceive his own people into believing so. After that, taking Lara on 1v1 would be of less importance, and he would do it mainly for the entertainment value or just to satisfy any residual grudge. Edit: But regardless of whether Xavier decides to spin his story like that, he will definitely want to prove his machismo in person.

Spur of the moment decision. Xavier will of course want Lara to address him properly in front of his men. No Fernando is actually working for Everest but just happened to be the liaison between Everest Inc and Salvatorelli. The regaining of power is why I'm most likely going to go with the "hunt" at some point, where Xavier "proves" that he has no problem catching Lara, and rebelling is futile. On Xavier's having a son however, I've entertained that idea myself. Maybe Lara maimed him not just in front of his men, but also his 9 year old son (who would be 13 then at this point), so not only is Xavier going to rape Lara, he's going to force her to be his son's "first conquest" (eg his son is still a virgin). Lara's lactation here would be quite appropriate in the theme of a corrupted familial relationship (both her "husband" and "son" enjoying her company). I haven't written anything using this idea, but it's been floating around in the back of my head. Partly as a nod to the real world audience (many of Lara's fans are probably teenage boys), I do plan on having more young boys being "cradle robbed" by Lara.

New preview chapter up. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vCOVyGhmykgvEaqpaUAjzyRJcGsXNlDTHwOTnpCcym4/edit?usp=sharing This is Part 1 of "Not ready for work", Part 2's plot is malleable at this point and can go one of several ways. 1. Xavier rapes Lara in public, in the village that his military outfit runs. She is then taken to his private quarters to spend the night. 2. Lara is publicly displayed by Xavier as a conquered foe, whom he has brought back to show his people that he always settle his debts. She isn't raped in public but it's made very clear to Xavier's village that she will be receiving his "love" in private. 3. The plot from an old draft titled "the hunt". Lara is made to reenact her escape from Xavier four years ago, except this time, the game is rigged against her. Once she is caught, public humiliation follows. Chapter progression for the rest of the Assignment One arc after this is as follows: The Dig Part 1 The Dig Part 2 The Dig Part 3 The Dig Part 4 Then. Assignment Two: Beginning Assignment Two: Sea time interlude The plan after that is currently branched, but as mentioned before, Assignment two will be focused on Shogo Takamoto and his enterprises in Japan, and more detail will be given to tie those enterprises to Everest. I believe comments are enabled for the google doc shared link. You can comment there or post here. Right now what I'm really interested in is what you guys think Xavier would do to Lara once they're back in his base/village. I obviously have my ideas but as always I'm open to hot surprises.

Takamoto is a different animal from Xavier. Xavier will want to lace any conversation he has with Lara in front of his men with evidence that he is going to/has physically dominated her. That is part of the overt spanish honor/pride. Takamoto on the other hand will abide by traditional Japanese etiquette, which clearly separates business and private life. He will be completely cordial to Lara not out of respect or fondness, but out of his own pride. Remember that since I've implicitly mentioned that the events of Tomb Raider Legend have in fact occurred in this fic, Takamoto will have survived his fight with Lara from the game, which may affect his demeanor here. Regardless of whether the fight happened or not, the sort of respect Takamoto wants is not from his direct domination of Lara in front of his men, but of her being completely courteous and mannered in front of him (little bows, nods, subtle gestures). While they're private however, Takamoto will be more like Xavier, with all pretenses stripped away. Whether he has a lot of libido is irrelevant. If he in fact doesn't really want Lara's sexual services, he might instead require her to offer them to a person of importance, whose services Takamoto would much rather have. In both cases, the kind of open banter that you're offering will be most useful in the private arena, where Lara's verbiage will be her only way of maintaining the illusion that she is still in the fight, rather than submitted to the other person. In fact I think all mockery would either have to be very subdued while in public, or completely non-existent at all. The direction I'm taking the bosses in seem to have most of them valuing their respect quite a bit. Currently the plot for Lara's stay in japan actually has a large detour in either mainland China, one of the islands in Micronesia, or one of Japan's smaller islands. That's where her professional skills+ private skills will be used by Takamoto

It's good. I'm still not completely set on how Xavier should be. There are two versions of him, one being crude and unsophisticated and the other being slick, seductive (or at least trying to be), and subtly threatening (shows his rage through a thin smile). Xavier being hispanic should come through his dialogue. The hispanic cultural sense of manliness and honor has its own uniqueness compared to say Japanese honor or Western honor/respect/prestige. Even if he's crude, Xavier will probably try for a sort of eloquence that will come off as facetious to Lara but genuine to himself. If he is sophisticated the the eloquence will be better practiced but with more threatening undertones. On the other hand, this sort of act will only happen when Xavier is in front of other people. In private, when he's alone with Lara, he'll be just like any other man. Much more direct, much less eloquent and with any false-politeness stripped away. Your line of banter is similar to the exchange I've been mulling over in my head. It's possible for Lara to be even more obvious about her mockery, or mask it in elevated British language that Xavier won't be able to pick up because of the partial language barrier.

Lol you should really register on the forums so I know who to give credits to, otherwise "ty to Guest_guest for dialogue help" isn't exactly specific. The non-spoiler details will be that Lara won't be getting many more new sexual partners. So for the most part, the crime bosses and their right hand men will be the only ones. Some of them will actually be more interested in Lara's actual area of expertise. We can't expect them all to have the same level of lust as Gordo or even Everest, whom to this date has only had two explicitly written scenes with Lara. I want to limit the real horniness to a select few, while others will primarily be craving other forms of humiliation or dominance over Lara (non-sexual). Xavier Salvatorelli, the boss for this arc, will want Lara sexually. His reasons for pursuing her were in an earlier draft of a chapter that predated the genesis of the prison arc. In that story, Lara once bought some equipment off of him (jeep, supplies) when she was digging in Peru (under the rader, not strictly legal). Back then, Xavier was only leader of a small guerilla group. When their business was done, he tried to get physical with Lara, things got violent, and he lost two fingers and an eye. Now, his power base has grown, enough to make him worthy of Everest using Lara to procure his business. Xavier will both want to get from Lara what he had failed to get years before, as well as humiliate her in front of his men to repay her for his own humiliation back then. Xavier will be trying to humiliate Lara verbally, using mixes of spanish (which I don't speak a lick of but will try to google translate my way through it), as well as bdsm and exhibition. Lara won't try to physically fight back in this instance since Xavier is a violent man and she can't be sure that he won't injure her if she enrages him. however, she will try to belittle him subtly whenever she can and assert her own power. Rather than mocking his sexual prowess, however, I'm thinking she'll drop subtle ques that she thinks very little of his organization. Some possible quote examples would be like. "Your men act like fodder, because you treat them so." insulting his wisdom of leadership. "Considering it's owner, this base is not too shabby." backhanded compliment "Wow... you must be the smartest man around here." another backhanded compliment after seeing one of Xavier's men do something stupid. Xavier will probably execute the man for the comment. "Everest always did have the best business sense." situation comment, in context implying Everest's investment in Xavier was a poor one, as the latter isn't worth the salt. The boss after Xavier will probably be Shogo Takamoto, from TR: Legend. Pretty much the same as the in game character. Lara dishonored him and humiliated him, and he wants her to speak to him with honor. Thus Lara will have to be extra creative in masking her words as backhanded compliments or sarcasm or deliberately fake sincerity. The ones shown are still technically not dialogue, more like one liners. dialogue will be more complex as Lara will have to display a quick wit to turn the mens' words back against them. It's this sort of play on words that I'm still practicing. Some of the banter I've come up with seem too ham-fisted or contrived. There should exist a natural rhythm/flow to it.

It's not quite that simple. Yes technically Gordo can't just keep stuffing things into Lara 24/7, and if Lara slapped him once or twice after he does something particularly violating, he'll probably have to let it slide. However, Lara is still at Gordo's mercy whenever she's in the pleasure-mobile, as well as still being obligated to do whatever sexual acts he wants, so the relationship is far from fair towards her. Everest isn't going to take Lara's side on these matters as he knows it will only make her act out even more. As long as Gordo does no permanent damage, he pretty much is still free to do whatever he wants. Also, under no circumstances will Lara ever identify herself as "Everest's property" As far as she is concerned, the agreement is still tantamount to blackmail, albeit with some semblance of limitations now.

Oh christ you really ran away with my prompt haha. While I do enjoy the droll sexual banter, that's only a small part of what I mean when I say dialogue. Here's an example exchange from a scene in the next chapter: **************************** “Breakfast time!” Gordo said, when he was ready to cum, pulling out of her and promptly leaving a sloppily aimed pearl necklace all across Lara’s chest, more trailing down her abs as his momentum ran out. He watched Lara grimace as she sat up, used her fingers to scoop up his jizz, and licked the cum laden digits clean. While she did this, Gordo brought out the O-remote. “Not now please.” Lara asked, masking her disgust with as much simpering as was possible. “Oh? When do you want it then?” Gordo asked, goading Lara to give him an answer. “After work today” Lara ventured, playing nice, which only drew a sinister laugh from Gordo. “Oh you’re not going anywhere near the dig site today, if that’s what you thought was gonna happen. You’re only job today is to meet with Xavier.” Gordo said, ignoring Lara’s request and thumbing the remote, deliberately wagging that hand in front of Lara, taunting her as she immediately started bucking.. Despite having only just been introduced to the device recently, Lara was already adapting to its intense rhythmic pulsing, and as soon as she weathered the first bout of painful contractions, her hand snaked out. Gordo hadn’t expected that move, and before he could respond, Lara had snatched the remote from his raised hand. He jerked the hand back, as if he had just been burned, looking alarmed as Lara brusquely got off the bed, her legs trembling slightly, and opened the drawer near the bed to see what clothes were packed for her. “Give it back!” he said, annoyed by his sudden loss of power, but still felt lazy from having just cummed, and thus made no move to reclaim the remote. “I’m getting dressed, then we can go see Salvatorelli and get whatever business he has with me over with. Then I’m going to the dig” Lara curtly stated, while she found a set of lingerie matching the ones that had been stolen from her the night before. It was one pair of several identical ones. “Getting bossy now, are we? Do I need to remind you…” Gordo began, but Lara cut him off. “You work for Everest, and my agreement with him stipulates cooperation with you but not subordination. If you want to boff I can’t stop you, but don’t think for a single second that I’m your plaything.” Lara hadn’t had any sort of control since Gordo and Kitty had shown up at her mansion, and that rage was now boiling over. It was true. The written agreement had changed the dynamic of how Lara interacted with her blackmailers, such that she retained a modicum of autonomy outside of answering to direct sexual requests. Gordo was technically not allowed to do anything to Lara outside of asking for sex. ******************** Lara's use of the word "boff", which according to my research is a posh version of "shag", is deliberate. She still holds herself above the men she's with, and considers participating in sexual banter with them to be beneath her. This is part of a larger move towards not portraying Lara as passively submissive. Anything they want of her they will still have to force upon her. Things like the pleasure-mobile and the incarceration all had to be introduced to her by surprise. This also creates a dynamic where Lara knows her defiance is counterproductive because it just means more torment down the road, yet her pride won't just let her sit back and take everything. She feels the need to remind the men that she has no intention of continual escalation, and will fight tooth and nail for every bit of her freedom. Since having the written agreement mean Lara's stay in sexual purgatory is no longer indefinite (on paper at least) and grants her much more freedom than before, this lets me write scenes of physical altercation where Lara can not just verbally but also physically fight back. Especially in the case of Gordo, Lara is not going to let him push her around as much as before, and there will be times when Gordo is at least a little intimidated by her. I don't have any trouble writing the physical stuff, but it's the verbal jousting (sans sexual banter) that I could use help with. An example would be Lara saying something like "Your men are out of their element. Stop sending them into the tombs like fodder. There are better ways to find the traps than stepping into them." This would be while being fucked by the person she was talking to. Lara is completely ignoring the sex, whilst belittling the intellect of her rapist. This is akin to the wife talking about the kids school lunch and the grocery list during sex with the husband, who(m?) I imagine would be very turned off and annoyed.

That was implied when Vasily stated he was facing imminent execution. I'm still not 100% on it but that does seem to be the cleanest way of keeping it real, if every man in the prison who fucks Lara wasn't going to live to tell the tale in the first place. The hammer scene was a homage to a hentai manga drawn by Mukai Masayoshi titled "Dawn of the Silver Dragon". In Volume 2 of the manga, which can be found on g.e-hentai.org, a captured female soldier is bound by chains in a very similar pose as Lara and had a large dildo smacked into her by a paddle. I admit I went over the top with the spikes, and the premise of Lara going back for more after that requires a large suspension of disbelief. I do believe that several of the chapters have inconsistent portrayals of Lara, whom I want to come off as still retaining some fight, but often seem like she's just passively taking whatever's thrown at her. This is largely due to my poor dialogue scripting but also a result of the long update cycle, during which my preferences can change a lot. I know for a fact that if I were to rewrite the first four chapters of FMC now it would look very different from what I had written in 2007 (my god it's been that long). The current goal however is to improve on dialogue, especially in portraying Lara as still feisty and close to unbreakable. Every time she is driven to her physical limits, she might briefly lose it, but should and will always recuperate. A 100% broken and submissive Lara is boring to write and probably boring to read. If anyone has ideas for dialogue that can happen between Lara and the men that portrays her as strong, I'm all ears for your input.

I did not have a finite number in mind when I was writing the prison arc. If I had to estimate I would put the number of men who copulated with Lara in the prison somewhere between 50 and 70. I imagine the prison as a "political prison'/"prison for rent" sort of setup, where a criminal organization could pay for someone to be kidnapped and incarcerated discreetly. The kinds of inmates would be of the following category: 1. Criminals who were incarcerated in other prisons, but were "granted" a transfer to this facility on good behavior (bribery). They couldn't be set free because they would pose problems for their own organizations but also were of value to be kept alive. 2. High value prisoners such as money launderers, lawyers, shady businessmen, fighters in underground tournaments who wanted out but needed to be reminded they couldn't. They would be given the exact same spiel Lara was given, which was "we can imprison you without trial indefinitely without the world knowing, unless you cooperate" 3. Not shown, but there is a special class of prisoners who are themselves important people in criminal enterprises who pay for the protection of the prison walls because of hits placed on them by their former colleagues. These people would live in much more luxurious cells and be guarded by specially vetted guards guaranteed not to sell them out. I'm dialing back the number of men Lara is going to be with for the remainder of the fic, because at a certain point that number becomes trivial once we reach the critical mass where Lara will essentially never finish fucking everyone. The numbers game also dilutes the impact of individuals such as Gordo and Fernando, and cheapens the thrill for the crime bosses sticking it to Lara if it seems like everyone can get a go at her.

looking forward to what else you plan on doing to Samus, hehe.

Yeah I've seen Detomasso's work. Also a fan of Sashadog2000. Also like the gifs by Yagskie over at rule 34 paheal. Also cinematicexperience.deviantart.com has some good stills. good stuff.