Keith Inc.

Guilty. G/NG: Has practiced telling people they know about their smut habit

Um...i don't usually admit to felonies before the statute of limitations runs out. I have never drawn the attention of my CEO.

Bullseye Am i that obvious?

Milksnake

Hmmm. 8 out of 16 right. Or was that 8 out of 16 wrong? I can't recall.

advertising to others where your interests lie. There is little that makes a group more uncomfortable than to admit to an attraction no one shares or can imagine sharing. Can you guess how i know?

Jamaican Boa

^ This is on the springs SIDE of the WINTER break we already had... < Would rather call it 'ohmigodican'tstandthemanymorei'maboutto Break' V has an even better name for it.

G/NG: Forgot to leave a G/NG statement while playing Guilty or Not Guilty

NG: I heard the drill spin down during that blackout that took darkened the NorthEast a few years back. It's COMPLETELY natural. G/NG: has lost a tooth while eating jello or something else soft.

not guilty...Didn't go, but not because i forgot G/NG: has been in the dentist's chair when the building lost power

Garter

Everglades Rat Snake

I have. I have never fully understood the distinction between scifi and fantasy.

Well, i have all boys, and a military background. When they rip, i rip louder. The wife leaves, but we have fun. My middle one plans, during the next standardized testing, to eat spiced octopus in the morning before, hoping to empty the classroom a few hours later. I almost drove myself out of my own car from octopus and Mountain Dew Farts one time. he heard the story and immediately thought: Worst smell you EVER smelt, eh?

I think it'll work much the way i gave up on teaching my kids how to eat spaghetti. I mean, as long as they don't get the sauce on me, or the china cupboard, i don't care anymore. I figure they'll date, eventually. Then she, whoever she is, will be motivated, empowered and in a position to correct their dumb asses. And she'll be much better motivation for them, as well.

NG.... G/NG: Has had an emoticon chase them in a dream

Sunflower seeds. I mean, sunflowers.

I am...amazed at the Bunsen Honeydew reference. I am the proud owner of the Muppet Labs playset. I am NOT the figure in

Heh. My oldest was four when we drove down to pick mommy up at work. I got cut off. I don't really recall saying anything but... Well, after we got Mom in the car, drove back home. Got cut off again. "MORON!" i shouted. "No, Daddy," the kid in the carrier says, "he's a sock-fucking bastard." "Ah...a-heh. Um, uh...."

So, we're at the mother-in-law's birthday party. It's in a motel, one we have a room in. The twins are two years old, and fractious. I valiently offer to take them to our room for a nap. Wife takes the 7 year old to help grandma unwrap packages. I put them down on the floor, on a mattress, and read by the light of the bathroom at the other end of the motel room. After about 45 minutes i hear: Youngest twin: (stage whisper) Older! Oldest twin: (grunt) mmmmm. Y: (stage whisper) Older! Get up! O: (grunt)Mmmmm. Y: (stage whisper) Get up! O: (loud and clear) No. There was some shuffling on the mattress. Then some more. Then Y started shaking O. O hauled off and slapped Y silly. Y: WAAAAAAAAAAH!! Daddy: Aw, poor baby. But you did ask for it, didn't you?

^ Yep. SNOW DAY! <Will force kids to shovel the 101 foot driveway V will rent my kids to shovel....something.

Guilty. And a vinigarette, however that's really spelled. G/NG: has eaten at least one thing hoping to get the farts at an opportune time.

Someone asked at school, when my youngest was five, who was tougher, mommy or daddy. He thought for about five seconds. "Mommy is." "Are you sure?" "Yeah. Daddy is in the Navy. He screams, shouts, and punishes us and his sailors. But mommy can make him say 'Yes, Ma'am.'" Teacher called us to share this report.

So, the three of them (ages 12, 17 and 12) are cleaning the bathroom. Not the weekly chore, but more like spring cleaning. Suddenly, there is a ripping sound, a HORRENDOUS crash, a thud that shakes the house and a clatter. No cries of pain, but the oldest, without missing a beat, shouts, "And that's why we don't DO that!" I look to the wife on the sofa. "Wanna find out what that was?" "Not until blood is in evidence," she said, wriggling more comfortably into the cushions.