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Keith Inc.

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Posts posted by Keith Inc.

  2. Need Suggestions: Movement Description And Seduction

    in Writers' Corner

    Posted

    HALP!

    Gals and guys, can I ask you for some suggestions? First I need to describe this movement...

    http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/7793/1176371852516mf7.gif

    [animated gif, 900kb]

    Her two legs slithered over each other, offering tantalizing hints of her body. Unfortunately, nothing was revealed that you couldn't see on a beach or a dance floor.

    Second, in the story I'm currently trying to write, I've got a beautiful woman trying to seduce a man who resisted her advances so far because he was still brooding over his dead lover. Any suggestions on what the seducer can do to make him go to bed with her?

    Cheat.

    "Once in the checkout line Amy noticed an oddly appropriate caption on the cover of Cosmo. 'Ten tricks to move a widower's fixation from the grave to your bedroom.' Slowly, fearfully, her hand reached out to take up the issue. She glanced inside, found the article...and placed it immediately on the conveyor.

    ---

    Ten hours later, she padded naked across the floor from the bathroom to her bed, and to her new lover. The tip of the magazine poked out from the bed's skirt. She slid it back in with her toe before sliding into the sheets. John sleepily wrapped his arm around her and held her close. She sighed in contentment. "And that was only one through four," she said softly.

    The oven mitt was a disconcerting lump under her leg. She fished it out and tossed it to the floor, between the half-empty bowl of pasta and the remains of the pinata.

  5. Time To Kill Yourself

    in ipBattlePro

    Posted

    That doesn't exactly make me feel any better... in case you were wondering...

    And who knows... perhaps ONE day... when I least expect it... I'll be close enough for you to blast to tiny lil bits...

    If you're in range, you're going to be a lot harder to kill.

    Unless they open up the range, again, JUST long enough for me to blast you to smithereens....

  9. Reviving

    in ipBattlePro

    Posted

    I feel somewhat bad. I just revived the Tarot guild members within attacking range, with Elixers just so they would have full HP, just so I could kill them and get full exp for it. >>
    What? Never feel bad about strategy.

    If it feels you make any better, i tend to revive guildies with Elixir, and opponents with Down, esp. those that are at my level. Figure that there's a 50-50 chance you're online and will restore yourself, or if you're not there, being at five HP makes you a more attractive target than me.

    Then Becca throws herself on your sword.... :blink:

  12. Guild-weapons?

    in ipBattlePro

    Posted

    The game seems to allow guild-specific weapons?

    Wonder if it would make things more interesting if they were divided? Randomly divided by Lottery or something?

    Consider 'unaffiliated' another guild, or four guilds (to weight it in their favor)...

  14. Time Limits

    in ipBattlePro

    Posted

    I admit I was killing you a lot, Squall (rofl sounds funny to me as a FF fan) but only because there weren't enough people not in my guild in range.

    But I revived and gave you my health every time <3

    If i find out you borrowed from the guild treasury to revive him...eh, i'll allow it.

    I'm pretty much always going to be in favor of raising the dead. And with a net worth of about half a billion, i can keep the treasury stocked for it.

    G'head, play graveyard yo-yo with the feisty one.

  15. Please Explain

    in Writers' Corner

    Posted

    Isn't it perverted to have sex with someone who's not your shape or even your anatomy? Isn't that weird?
    Happily, no.

    What appeals, appeals. All the justification or rationalization or logical evaluation won't change the fact that boobs make me all warm in side. Well, if they're female boobs, within a certain range. Too small and i lose interest.

    Too big and i tend to want to ask the artist (or plastic surgeon) "Have you never SEEN any real boobies? Any idea how they function? Are you a helium fetishist?"

    Oddly enough, it's one of my most steamy. I think it's partly because human sex scenes can all sound the same (or at least it's easier to fall into patterns), whereas there I had no model to work from, and it meant trying to describe things in a fresh way.
    I think that's a very important part of porn. Difference.

    Twenty years ago, if it had been suggested that i'd write a bestiality (unicorn) fanfic, i'd have denied it utterly. But i was drawing a blank on hybrid partners for Lamia, and someone suggested Biblical porn... Well, it was certainly fresh. I dunno how steamy...

  16. Broadening The Attack Range

    in ipBattlePro

    Posted

    Speaking as a 25th level attackticker, it is incredibly boring to have no valid targets in range.

    It's only slightly less boring to have one target in range, as i have to wait for each fight to wear off so i can go attack again.

    I would...appreciate having a greater range for targets, but i could understand how that could be a burden to the lower levels.

    Then again, my last two attacks were misses. A Level 1 with a toothpick could have won those duels....dammit.

  18. Star Trek Fanfiction

    in General

    Posted

    We worry about fans skewering us because we're the kind of people who skewer...mentally, at least.
    Well, readers who want your story to be the most technically correct. that's got to be a better feeling than writing fetish fic.

    A lot of the critics in that area just bitch if your story doesn't track directly along with their special needs....

    Then again, terribly canon trek stories may be trekker special needs...

  20. Some Slight Questions/rants

    in Writers' Corner

    Posted

    How would i respond? Two ways, including the first response, which i've learned not to share with others. Andwhat i might write.

    I'm a curious reader and don't mind trying Buffy-verse fics that cross with fandoms I am unfamiliar with;

    Internal dialog: Well, they're polite. But strangely judgmental, esp. for the first sentence?

    External dialog: Zip (What the reviewer does and doesn't mind is not my problem, really. I wouldn't respond to this.)

    however, it would be helpful if you could provide a link to more information about the crossover in the first chapter - or at least identify what form of media "Bleach" is so as to facilitate a Google search.

    Internal dialog: With any fandom, i'm writing for the fans of that fandom. I wouldn't want to assign homework to readers ("Hey! You a trekker? No? Well, read up on TOS, TNG and VGR, then check out my shrinking officers series!")

    External dialog: Well, to be honest, it was written with Bleach and Buffy fandoms in mind. I did mention in the intro that i welded the TV Show and the (I'm sorry, i don't know what Bleach is.)______ together, and felt that too much background material would be offputting for readers that are already 'in' on the topics.

    The use of four different symbol combinations to identify sections is exceedingly confusing and needlessly intricate.

    Internal dialog: Okay, so i didn't do it the way you'd do it, bite me.

    External dialog: I don't see how it's confusing. It is how i like to separate the sections.

    If you look at published fiction you can see that such things are very simply indicated.

    Internal dialog: You might notice this isn't published fiction.

    External dialog: Are you offering to publish this? Cool! Hook me up with an editor, we'll come to terms with what i like and what the industry demands.

    Why not have journal entries identified as such with a text header, and perhaps put that section in all italic? As for changing character point of view, either the narrative itself should indicate these changes or the section divider should be simple symbols that incorporate the character name.

    Internal dialog: Am i being punished just because you had a hard time finding 'bleach?'

    External dialog: While i appreciate constructive criticism, this seems more of a readability problem than helping with my story. What did you think of the main character?

    The song lyrics should be in italics, again, a simple format problem.

    Internal dialog: Bite me.

    External dialog: I'm afraid that anyone reading would just gloss over the block of italics, to get back to the 'real' story, but the lyrics are important to the story and i want to be sure people read them.

    The first chapter brings up some interesting items, but has a few issues with clarity

    Internal dialog: I get this a lot. Deal.

    External dialog: I get this a lot. But i really enjoy movies by Terry Gilliam, exactly because he doesn't spell out each and every thought, plot, and dialog for the viewer (Ever see Spaceballs? And Dark Helmet's turning to the audience after the plot exposition and asking "Did everyone get that?"). I don't explain everything for my readers, trusting that they can work it out eventually. If my style becomes a burden to someone, i would understand if they stop reading my stuff.

    The bit with Angel & Angelus seems to contradict itself; a simple change in sentence order would fix that.

    Internal dialog: Pay for publishing, i'll give a fuck about how you'd prefer to arrange the text.

    External dialog: Cool. I'll take that up with the editor when we publish!

    Also, the journal entry mentions: I don’t think they know what my relationship with Ichigo is. Who are they? Also, it sounds like Ichigo is in Sunnydale, but again, it is unclear.

    Internal dialog: Sorry. That's an in-joke. For me and a million Bleach fans...

    External dialog: Sorry. That's an in-joke.

    As the original review whore, i'd close with appreciative verbage about the individual taking the time to comment, and while i don't quite agree with everything he (she?) wrote, it has given me something to think about with future efforts.

  21. Fan-fics

    in Writers' Corner

    Posted

    I really say it all depends on the person who's writing mainly because I've seen work that took an episode and just rewrote it to what they wanted....
    Well, I've done that. Not to steal it, i mean i clearly identified which Trek episode i was adapting.

    I just reimagined 'Trouble with Tribbles' with Winnie the Pooh as Kirk. It took more than just replacing the word Kirk with Silly Old Bear every time it came up. I think it stands up to scrutiny as fanfic of both the 100 Acre Federation and WoodFleet.

  22. Time Limits

    in ipBattlePro

    Posted

    Yes, apparently people just like revive me then kill me right away.

    Well, they can't attack you a second time until their fights expire. I'd guess people raise you in series and attack you in series?

    That must sucketh.

    I tend to raise/heal anyone in my guild, if i notice they are dead or wounded. If i'm really bored, i'll phoenix-up anyone else.

    But not to attack them.

    Actually, i'm more likely to feel guilty and raise them after i kill them.

    Or i was, back when there were people within range to attack...

  24. The Hookup

    in Promote a Story!

    Posted

    Work in progress, inspired by some art i saw elsewhere.

    Title: The Hookup

    Author: KeithVII

    Rating: A++(by the time i'm finished)

    Summary: Boy meets girl, girl looses a few limbs, boy repelled, girl decides to teach boy a lesson. By shrinking him...SM B-Mod, Dom, Other

    I have seen some pics of women with hook hands, or peg legs, eye patches, other prosthetics, scars, etc. Stuff put out by people turned on by prosthesis. I don't share that, but i was amazed at the sensuality that survives in the pics. Women that can suffer ravaging trauma, then still look past their stump and give a come-hither smile. I'm trying to catch THAT feeling...and, also, satisfy my shrinking fetish for a bit.

    Fandom: prosthesis fetishist, shrinking man fetishist

    URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600096220

  25. Reviving

    in ipBattlePro

    Posted

    Sure being revived it great, but maybe a little courtesy shouldn't be beyond that?

    I'm afraid i've been on the planet too long to demand courtesy. Or expect it. In a virtual game about killing people to death and such, friendly notes seem oddly out of character.

    To me, actions speak loudly more than words are doing. Reviving, fighting, slaying, and hiding the bodies is what you can do.

    Trash talk bespeaks a smallity of soul. Or, trying to get into the fun of what they thing the battle mod is or is supposed to be?

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