Desiderius Price

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I’ll add in some detail, but the rest, I let the reader fill in the cracks, help engage them.

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My entire original universe started off as a PWP, and I started to wonder, “how did they get there?” Wham, stories upon stories, and a plot bunny breeding ground.

Chapter 5 is now posted. I’m not sure I’ll get ch6 up tomorrow, kinda depends on how much progress I make tonight.

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Review for “The Repair Guy”, chapter 4. Think of it more like a deer in headlights, Konnor’s a bit dazed, and wants out of the situation ASAP. From his perspective, he goes to do a repair job, only to get a girl dangling by his balls and she’s holding on tight. Church… I was picturing it along the lines of a bigger megachurch, it can’t be too big because its in the middle of Atlanta, near a college with an obvious transient population. So, on this particular Sunday, it’d be closer to empty because of the college year being done. I didn’t invest too much time, just a mental picture, no maps/charts/etc, because I don’t plan to revisit that particular building.

Chapter 4 is now posted.

Having him show up in his underwear helps too, but yeah, the dripping added a nice touch.

I’ve taken to starting stories with a sound. For example, using “Drip...Drip...Drip” for The Repair Guy. Dunno a good reason, it just gets things across to the reader, engaging another part of the mind as you keep reading the story.

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Purred? These are cat people, Khajit or similar? I’d tend to write it more like dialogue, treating the action/sound as any other spoken line. So…. for example...

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I do write software for a living….

Upload to the forum and use that image URL for the archive?

Is my avatar showing to you, the eclipse? Because I had uploaded it from my computer. p.s. I haven’t set it for the archive, just the forum

Chapter 3 is up. (Essentially, I plan to post as fast as I write these, with a one chapter “buffer”).

I tend to forget some of those senses as I write. Taste, smell, and touch are less written about, than vision (primary) or sound (secondary). So, yeah, write in sounds, that does help stories, IMO. And, don’t forget to smell, taste, and touch … depends on what you’re writing, I suppose. If you’ve got a pile of crap, skip the description, we all know what it’s like.

Sound words, I kinda use like a spice, here and there, peppered about. I’ll typically do them on their own line, like dialogue, because it is, in a way, dialogue. For instance, flushing a toilet, I might just put in “FLUSH!” Because, well, that’d invoke the proper image, without having to have a character announce they’re flushing, or write “The toilet was flushed”…. or the like. I mean, if a character’s in the bathroom, and a “FLUSH” occurs, you can generally guess who flushed it.

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IIRC. I think I encountered this before, and it seemed to be a timeout on the captcha. Assuming you’re copy-pasting from another program and fixing formatting; do the new story fast, copy-paste (don’t bother with fixing), hit submit, and then go into your story manager, edit the chapter, and fix the formatting.

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Chapter 2 is up.