GeorgeGlass

Even though Lincoln has been exposed to such things for a long time, I imagine that age 11 -- when a boy may be starting to make the transition from “girls have cooties” to “girls make my insides feel funny” -- is probably a particularly awkward time to be dealing with “girl stuff.” Age is a little bit of a factor, but it's mainly just that Luan strikes me as having less experience with boy-girl stuff than Luna does. (After all, Luna tried to fix Lincoln up with a girl at his first concert, much to the boy's embarrassment.) You aren't the first reviewer to take note of the pheromone's effects on the prepubescent Lucy. This subject will be addressed in the next chapter. Lisa has a classic case of Mad Scientist Syndrome: She gets so caught up in finding out whether something CAN be done that she forgets to consider whether it SHOULD be done. We shall see! It might be for the best. Just being anywhere near Lori is enough to overload Clyde's brain; her throwing herself at him would probably necessitate a factory reset. I toyed with the idea of Lisa confessing to having a crush on Clyde. (“I realize that the substantial difference in our ages makes such a relationship socially unacceptable, but there are very few boys my own age who both are physically attractive and know their way around a quadratic equation.”) I decided against it, though -- chiefly because Clyde doesn't appear in the story, so there wouldn't be much point in introducing the subject. Maybe in the next one. As always, thanks for betaing and reviewing!

If Lisa were great at thinking ahead, the roof of the Loud House would probably have a lot more of its original tiles (although somehow that Frisbee and boomerang stick to it like glue.). Glad you’re liking the story so far!

Here's where I'll post responses to reviews of my The Loud House story "Whoops." You’re correct about Lucy: She is only 8 years old, yet she clearly has been affected by the pheromone. This subject will be addressed (briefly) in the next chapter. Thanks for the review!

Wow. Usually, people who do that kind of thing do it because they're fanatics about some fandom in which you have written a story that doesn't jibe with their deeply held view of which character is the perfect romantic partner for which. But you only write original stuff, which trolls generally ignore, so you were seriously unlucky. In any case, glad you're troll-free these days.

Great ideas, all! I think I will use the block quote/indented format plus a different font, which will free up italics for other uses. Thanks!

I recently began writing a fanfic for The Loud House, a show on which the main character periodically breaks the fourth wall and speaks directly to the viewer. I would like my story to include this element, too, interspersed with the standard third-person narrative that will make up the bulk of the story. But I'm having trouble thinking up a quick and obvious way to signal readers that Lincoln is talking to them, rather than to the other characters. One thought I had was to start the story with one of these talk-to-the-reader moments and put the text in italics or something, so that when readers next see text in italics, they will get the idea that Lincoln is talking to them. But maybe that's too subtle, too awkward, or too generic (given that italics can be interpreted in several ways). Any other ideas?

Thank you! I love these characters, so writing in their voices is fun.

Heh heh, I'm a dedicated second-baseman. I ain't sayin' nuthin. Oh, yes indeed. Or maybe just a lot more lame. Thanks for another fun review!

Thank you! My interest is piqued. Any idea when we might expect your next chapter? (Feel free to say that you have no idea; I usually don't. ) IMO, part of the fun -- and the challenge -- of writing fanfic is coming up with original characters that will work well with the canonical ones. Glad you like this one. Yeah, things went pretty far for a first date, but...yeah. Definitely some fallout coming.

The thing I liked about the ratings system was that it gave you some idea as to whether people were actually reading a story, rather than just clicking on it and then clicking away after reading the first paragraph. I have several stories that have thousands of hits but no reviews; the ratings provided the only clue as to whether anybody actually read those stories from beginning to end. So I am looking forward to having some kind of ratings system again.

Re: "A Very Special Thank You" Thanks! Um, probably not. :0

Working Title: No Future but Itself Fandom: CSI (original series) Plot: A white man in his early twenties is found dead in the apartment that he shares with his mother. Doc Robbins’ medical examination and tox screen reveal that the victim died of an overdose of codeine—a medication prescribed for his mother, not for him—which he had taken on top of his own prescription medication. The pills had been crushed and mixed into a vanilla milkshake, and the CSIs suspect that the mother might have done it. The young man had been injured in a motorcycle accident a year earlier and was dealing with chronic neuropathic pain from an avulsion injury at the nerve root. The detectives interview doctors at various walk-in clinics, who describe the young man as a drug addict. But we eventually learn that this was a case of “pseudoaddition,” in which a patient goes from doctor to doctor in a way that mimics drug-seeking behavior but that is really an effort to find effective treatment for the patient’s intractable chronic pain. Greg (who is still the DNA analyst at the time of this story), acting on a hunch, tests the victim’s DNA and discovers that the victim had a gene (found in about 1 in 11 white Americans) that prevents him from benefitting from the pain-relieving properties of codeine. We eventually learn that the young man had crushed the pills himself in an attempt to make them act faster and had drunk them in the milkshake to cover the bitterness of the codeine. They were ineffective at first, and he had no more of his own meds, so he kept taking more and more codeine until he overdosed. The story ends with Grissom reciting an Emily Dickinson poem: Pain–Has an Element of Blank– It cannot recollect When it begun–or if it were A day when it was not– It has no Future–but itself– Its Infinite contain Its Past–enlightened to perceive New Periods–of Pain. Fatal Flaws: I had the idea for this story many years ago, sometime in the middle of CSI’s run. I liked the way that slow-motion visuals were used on the show to depict the events that led to the CSIs’ findings, so I had the idea of including still pictures in the story to the same effect—for example, a series of drawings of how a nerve avulsion injury occurs during a motorcycle crash. But finding such images and then somehow inserting them into the text (which most story sites won’t allow) seemed too daunting a task. Plus, the story seemed both too gloomy and too preachy for me to enjoy writing it, so I ended up leaving the idea alone. Keeping or Abandoning? Abandoning

Thank you so much! If she does, I'll be quite flattered. Frankly, I'll be pretty happy if she simply doesn't call the cops on me. Thanks for the nice review!

Glad you liked the story. I'm not planning a sequel to this one, but I am writing another Star vs. story you might like: "Star's Crossed Lovers." Um, probably just with his fingers. Thanks for commenting!

Glad you're liking the story. As for Janna, her romantic future has yet to be written--literally. Thanks! I've been making a conscious effort to keep the pacing semi-realistic--but not dull--in terms of how quickly the plot (and especially the 5-step plan) moves forward. Yeah, it's gonna get a little- well, you know the theme song. Thanks! I loved writing that scene. I originally wanted to make it three rhyming words that dealt with the three main scenes in the chapter (this was before I decided to add the park scene at the end), and I came up with “Dreams, _______, and Evil Schemes.” But for the life of me, I could not think of a rhyming word to put in the middle that had anything to do with sparring or bouncy armor, so I had to try something else. In any case, thanks for reading and reviewing!

*Note: The text editor is telling me that I'm using too much quoted text, so I'm putting the quoted text in red instead of quote blocks. Disclaimer: I'm the proofreader, so all typos and such are my fault. For starters, I like the little recap of Marco's and Star's love-live situations, both to ease into the discussion and also provide enough background for those who aren't as familiar with the series. The series doesn't make it entirely clear where Star and Marco stand with their respective crushes; we don't know, for example, how Marco's conversation with Jackie on the bus went at the end of “Interdimensional Field Trip.” So I wanted to give a clear indication of where Square One is at the beginning of the story. It strikes me a little that many teenagers fret almost non-stop over how to appeal those of the other sex, yet at the same time they could pretty much write a book on what they've picked up about various types of people among their own gender. If they just used some of that observational power… Yet on the other hand, there's still a hint of the blind leading the blind as both have their confidence shaken here and there Part of the reason why I liked this story idea enough to actually write it up was the obvious advantage of having an opposite-sex best friend to give you romantic advice. But nobody is omniscient about what others of their own sex want, so yeah. However it's awesome how they both keep perking each-other up. Morale is critical to the success of Operation Wingman. So it seems to be working, and I won't complain. Setting up the plan and negotiating the number of parts was perfectly in-character and rather adorable on both kids' parts. It ran rather smoothly, thanks to the small number of entries; the last item though is great for proving that this is going to be one hell of a sexy story. Thank goodness Mewni is a bit more liberal about sex. Star's being from another dimension, whose culture and mores we don't fully know, provides a lot of helpful latitude. Also, Star's line “If you need to measure it, it’s not awesome.” still cracks me up. Talk about your soft endpoints. Then the restless night and all that deliciously sexy talk was fantastic, and it's cute that Star is not above teasing Marco a little bit as she gets him all flustered. That bit was inspired by the moment in “Freeze Day” when Star briefly pretends to be frozen just to mess with Marco. The goings-on of chapter two played out well with each accomplishing their first checklist items so well. Marco was terrific for calming Star down after she jumped ahead on the list – especially being The List Guy, but it's clear that he cares more for Star's happiness than anything else. Perhaps even getting with Jackie Lynn, if it came to that; at the same time, I wonder if Star would also care more about her best friend succeeding. This could make for some interesting complications; Hmm, perhaps. Janna too seems like she'll be sticking her face into their business and raising havoc. Niiiiice. Every game needs a wild card. The subtlety of "that face" was pretty cool, though it was good you pointed it out for people like me. And people like Marco, who might not catch such things on his own. (I was about 18 when I realized that the girl with whom I had had a summer-school romance 2 years earlier had subtly offered to let me see her naked, and that I had been completely oblivious to her innuendo at the time.) Also, giving us the pronunciation of Rogelio was clever and just a really nice thing to do. Well, the spelling isn't exactly phonetic for us speakers of inglés, so I figured it couldn't hurt. Finally though, another night with Marco and Star together in her room turned out rather nicely. She's such a carefree yet considerate young woman. I'm glad that for all of Marco's fretting he was able to fall asleep without ruminating on the situation too much. Part of the point there was to show how relaxed Marco and Star are around each other. It was a bit of self-indulgence on my part; I love that aspect of their relationship, so I wanted to highlight it for the reader. Let's just hope the puppies don't start crawling around inside his pajama bottoms. (Or maybe that's just what Star will claim happened… okay, maybe not in this story. ) Is there a tag for pseudo-bestiality? So thanks for all the fun, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how this adventure goes. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for betaing and reviewing!

Glad you liked it. If there ever were a sequel to this story, it would involve Cheetara's arrival on Groth's homeworld and her life in his household, where she would effectively be his slave (sexual and otherwise). It might still happen; I just have so many other stories in the works as it is that I tend to be very selective about which new ones I start (usually ones for which I have a clear idea of how the plot would go, from beginning to end, which I don't yet have for this putative sequel). In any case, thanks for reading and commenting!

I was thinking that I liked your idea better than the premise of the Percy Jackson books, but I didn't say so because I'm trying to cut back on my snark.

Egads. Thank God (or Dow Corning, or whoever) for safety glass.

I consider this story finished, but I left the door open for a possible sequel. This hasn't happened, but I don't rule out the possibility that there will be one someday.

Thanks! I hope you'll like this story just as much.

Always my top priority. Thanks! Right--I didn't want to get into anything heavy early on, but I definitely wanted a little "action" in the first chapter, and the fantasy-sharing came to mind as a good way to do that. Thanks for reviewing!