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GeorgeGlass

Cleanup Crew
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Everything posted by GeorgeGlass

  1. Wow. That's quite the compliment! I do make an effort to try to keep the action moving forward and not to get bogged down in excessive description. I know this approach doesn't please everyone--Charles Dickens and Ann Rice have plenty of fans. But, maybe because I write a lot of fanfiction, I tend to try to pace stories as though they were movies or TV shows. So glad you liked it. If only I could remember where I got that idea...
  2. Thank you! I was a little concerned that some readers might consider the anal thing a tease, and it seems I was right. My main point in including it was to show that Candace and her friends still have territory to explore; they're once again trying a new kind of relationship, and, along with it, new ways of enjoying it. In any case, I don't see myself adding to this story in the near future. I've got too many others to write! Thanks for the review.
  3. Congrats to all y'all who survived NaNoWriMo!

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    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Thank you, kind sir! :D

  4. That's the whole idea. Sort of inspired by the episode of Seinfeld in which George decides to start doing the opposite of everything he usually does. Yup. Well, she is kind of a slu...um, slumber-party enthusiast. In more ways than one! Glad you're enjoying the story so far. More to come!
  5. Right Like Rain -- KoKoa_B I’ve always liked the idea of a Halloween party at which not everyone in attendance needs a costume. The use of punctuation and some of the sentence constructions were somehwat confusing; for example, where Tabitha says, “Lightning, ass,” I had to stop reading for a few seconds to figure out that “ass” meant “you ass.” Also, there are a few sentences of dialogue in which it isn't obvious who is speaking. As for the ending: [spoilerS] Wow, when you use that MCD tag, you don't fool around. But I liked the ending, because even though it was heartrending, it made sense in the context of the story and yet was a complete surprise. Generally, when a writer introduces you to an ensemble like this one, you assume that this is the first of a whole series of stories, because that's how it usually goes with TV shows, book series, comics, etc. Killing virtually all of the characters off at the end of the story is a great way to subvert that trope.
  6. I now do the "find paragraph marks and replace them with manual line breaks" thing so often that I decided to make a macro for it. In case any folks here would like to have it, here's the code: Sub ParaToLineBr() ' ' ParaToLineBr Macro ' ' Selection.Find.ClearFormatting Selection.Find.Replacement.ClearFormatting With Selection.Find .Text = "^p" .Replacement.Text = "^l" .Forward = True .Wrap = wdFindContinue .Format = False .MatchCase = False .MatchWholeWord = False .MatchWildcards = False .MatchSoundsLike = False .MatchAllWordForms = False End With Selection.Find.Execute Replace:=wdReplaceAll End Sub And here's a webpage with instructions for installing macros: http://www.gmayor.com/installing_macro.htm
  7. Death has an Ugly Face -- Tahn In horror movies, you always wonder why the dumb teenager runs for the basement. So I like the fact that this second-person scenario provides some logic to support that move. But I'm left with two questions: 1. Why is the story called “Death has an Ugly Face” when we never see the creatures’ faces? and 2. What WILL I do? All Hallow’s Eve -- ThinLizzie It's hard enough to write rhyming poetry that's cute or funny; it's even harder to write rhyming poetry that (successfully) evokes more serious images or feelings. So good job.
  8. If scuba diving is something he's actually into, that could explain it right there: Maybe he got the bends at some point, and a nitrogen bubble caused a stroke somewhere in his frontal lobes.
  9. Yeah, I kind of thought I was done with the Phinbella stories (at least for a while), but then I saw that Isabella-as-werewolf pic and realized that this seemed like a fresh way of getting them together. Thanks for the comment!
  10. From the Ashes -- Tahn This is solid work. It's hard to capture a whole lifetime in a short story, so I'm impressed that you managed it without the story either seeming rushed or becoming bloated. Nice descriptive details; the fire scene in particular really sticks in my mind because you included details that others might not think of (eg, flames dripping from the crosstimbers, the way the stairs smoke before they catch fire). Also, [spoilerS] I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and yours was tearfully happy. Thanks for a good read. Nightmare’s Dream -- Perverted Pages Makes the interesting point that a modern vampire might be very much like a serial killer. This one chooses victims of a specific type, and he has a prepared location to which he takes them, a ritualistic way of killing them, and a preferred means of disposing of the bodies. The story has some language issues, mainly run-on sentences and a few confusing constructions (eg, “She heard her name whispered and gasped”). But I liked the bit at the end about the good old days, which gives the reader a valuable bit of perspective on how different a modern vampire’s circumstances would be.
  11. Re: "Impulse" Thanks very much. That was exactly what I was going for. "Yours truly" suggests that I know who you are, Anon. But thanks all the same.
  12. Both of my foster kittens got adopted today. I don't remember the last time I was simultaneously so happy and so sad.

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    1. BronxWench

      BronxWench

      Oh, my goodness. I completely understand.

    2. JayDee

      JayDee

      Ahhh! That's pretty harsh, but good. Bittersweet!

  13. CL.Mustafic — The Glory Hole to Hell Atmospheric and well told. The various classic elements (the ghost story, the abandoned house, the doomed lovers) all make the story that much easier to visualize. As others have said, the title is awesome—and, better still, not just a hollow promise. A part of me wonders, though, whether this story is a sort of test to see whether readers will cheer the punishment of the three oil-rig workers for their bigotry while simultaneously embracing the stereotype of southerners as bigoted rednecks. JayDee — Fucking Halloween Party Nicely done. Not many typos, despite your comment; I only noticed a few minor errors (eg, “too as well,” one place where you wrote “Todd” but seemed to be referring to Steve). I liked the main character, and it didn’t pose any problem for me that I wasn’t already familiar with her background; it seemed like all the important bits could be inferred from the brief comments about her relationship with Kizzy. The twist near the end was great, in that it took me by surprise but still made sense. And I liked Shannon’s powers: The idea of the succubus being able to read a man’s memories via his semen was perfect. Plus, her being a succubus puts a new twist (new AFAIK, anyway) on the “demon seeking redemption” concept, in that she has a rather different set of powers to try to use for good instead of evil.
  14. "All others are Number Two or lower!" --The Sphinx, Mystery Men Thank you! It's a bit short because I really wanted to post it at least a couple of days before Halloween. You know, I hadn't even thought about that angle, but that's a very interesting point. Will keep that in mind for future stories. I mainly like the idea of people letting their animal instincts out--especially if its someone who normally holds them all inside, like Isabella. Actually, the inspiration was very specific: It was a picture of Isabella as a werewolf, drawn by Launny on Inkbunny. (Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find that pic on any sites that don't require an account to view it.) After I commented on it, Centralman--who loves both P&F and animal-transformation stories--PMed a few days ago me and suggested that I write a fic about it. I liked the idea of normally demure Isabella going feral, so I banged it out. Thanks for reviewing!
  15. Sorry for the slow response. The recent changes to Hotmail make new messages harder to see. Yes, it's all Microsoft, not me. Finally, someone gets it! Thank you. I see what you did there. A twist on a twist. Thank you for your analysis, Mr. Naught.
  16. Becky's Grave — JoeLong I tried, I really did, but I always have a lot of trouble coming into a story in the middle. I had no mental image of the characters or understanding of their references to previous events, because all of that was done in another story or stories that I haven't read. Sorry. Girl Who Wears Glasses — Magusfang Nice. Interesting plot, good slow reveal on Victor, sympathetic main character, and utterly hate-able villain. Also, I liked the vivid descriptions of the characters (and especially their Halloween costumes; I even wondered for a bit whether Gayle's costume might be magical). I noticed some language issues, mainly missing or misused punctuation, and there are a couple of places where the perspective shift seems abrupt (particularly the one that happens mid-paragraph). But none of that was enough to discourage me from reading on. Good job. Thank you! "Chilling" was definitely what I was going for. Dang it, I wasn't trying to make you cry; I was trying to make you wet yourself in terror. Guess you can't win 'em all. Seriously, thank you. Glad you liked it.
  17. Ghosts Aren't Real, says the Vampire to the Werewolf - ChrissyQuinn I could so relate to this--not because I'm a gay British vampire (okay, I am, but I'm totally in the closet about the British thing), but because I remember well times in my youth when I was the more sensible friend who lets the not-at-all-sensible friend talk him into doing something stupid. This story captures that feeling perfectly. And the ginger joke was hilarious. Feed the Land - BronxWench This story is so atmospheric that I felt less like I was reading it than like it was being told to me by someone (maybe by a campfire, or in front of a fireplace in some remote cottage). Love the sumptuously worded descriptions of the scene and the characters. And I found the ending grimly satisfying. Thank you! I've always found it challenging to achieve the happy medium between "Yeah, totally saw that coming" and "That came out of nowhere and makes no sense." (And I'll admit it's not the most original idea in the world.) In any case, I'm glad you found it spooky. The admiration and envy of BronxWench are treasures beyond value. Thank you! Edit: My wife just read "Snap" and, being a social worker who works with a lot of people who have been in jail or prison, she pointed out that there's no way that someone who was arrested only a month ago would already be in prison--he'd still be in jail awaiting trial. She found this timeline issue so confusing that it ruined the story for her. So I guess I'll have to figure out a way to fix that.
  18. I just posted my chapter. Probably correctly. This is the first sex-free story I've ever posted on AFF (although it's definitely not for children). So Chrissy, thanks for inspiring me to take a stroll outside my comfort zone. And thanks, of course, for organizing this thing.
  19. Thank you! And there's more subterranean fun to come.
  20. The answers to your three questions, in order, are you'll see, you'll see, and you'll see. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and thanks for taking the time to comment. I've had to take a short break from this story to work on a few others, but I'll be back at it soon.
  21. Bumping this thread in honor of Back to the Future Day. And in the name of shameless self-promotion. Same thing, really.
  22. I tried to resist... Author: George Glass Summary: A man convicted of murdering his own wife and children is visited by a reporter who hopes to be the first to find out why he did it. Title: Snap
  23. Because someone called you a stuffed shirt, and you're aiming to prove them wrong.
  24. Because you're tired of your coworkers complaining about the junk on your desk.
  25. Thank you! Don't worry about my continuing the story--this thing is going to make me keep writing it until either it's finished or I am.
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